| I am a rock, I am an island... actually, I can relate more to a snail right now - retreating into my shell at regular intervals. Not eager to venture forth out of it, feeling rather vulnerable, and hiding myself away at the slightest upset or hurt. I feel so betrayed when people I thought I could trust destroy that so easily and carelessly - why can people not be a little more considerate, realising the damage their callous words can do, reverberating around in my head until that is all I can hear? And every bit of pain makes me more reluctant to come close to someone, to let someone close to me, afraid of being hurt - and yet I am, as Frank said, so very trusting, so very open, and thus exactly to easy to hurt and betray. And I ask myself as so often, do I expect too much from people? But I don't think I do... And I wish that some of these people whom I care for would care similarly, would come close to me, want to spend time with me, want to share of themselves with me - hell, even Frank doesn't do that. So maybe I am stupid to expect that too, or even hope or long for it. Stupid me. |