| I'm about to go have a shower... hoping all my troubles and worries will soak out. Of course they won't - and I'll just be thinking be thinking about one thing, and one thing only. Which won't happen. Why is life so messed up? Why do I set up these traps for myself, build walls and close myself in? It's one of those impossible situations - I want to stop thinking about it, being preoccupied by it, but because nothing's going to happen between us (or rather, nothing should, and that's why nothing will), it's at the top of my mind, and I cannot stop thinking about it. The caresses. The care and concern. The similar mindset and understanding, the easy friendship and comfortable silences also. And the sparks, the innuendo, the comfortable way our bodies lean together and feel right. I've pigeonholed myself, and I can't do a damn thing about it now. But it's going to be in my mind every waking moment, and then I dream about it do. Goddamn. Like he said - damn consequences. |
