Played In Nomine last night, Rupert's game, with Alex, Dan, and Michael... it was *fun* playing Denariel again... she rocks! And tho we finished late, Dan gave us a ride home, which was great, because I was so tired...
Didn't end up meeting Anna on Sunday, she never turned up. :-( Did have coffee with Jenni on Tuesday (yesterday) afternoon tho, and it was great to see her again, having not seen her for months. She was off to a job interview.. and she says she's happy going out with Bo...
Exchanged some txts with Chantelle Monday or Sunday night... texted her saying, "sorry to hear about all this KD's crap, <hugs> do you want to go to B&G's sometime, i've still got your bday present, and we could have another waterpistol fight.." and she txted back and suggested going to LOTR together, and yes also going to B&G's.. and she said i was a sweetie! :-) i do hope *something* happens there, at least...
Melda came over tonight... i went home a bit earlier from work, so i'd be home in time.. then went to bed to read for a while, and promptly fell asleep... so she had to come in and wake me up... :-) we talked for ages - she's broken up with Isaac, finally, but on the other hand, she's already met another guy whom she sounds happy about... :-( I wonder if anything will ever happen between us..?
I'm feeling very lonely, and rather irritated with my 'friends' - irritated enough to put them in inverted commas... it feels as tho i'm always chasing after people, i'm always the one calling people, trying to arrange to meet, etc... and it's tiring, and one-sided.. and when i don't do it, then no-one seems to call or txt... am i just unwanted? do they put up with me as much as they have to, but are glad when they're not bothered by me? There are a number of people whom i consider really good close friends.. but they don't call me? why? i need someone, i need people, need to talk, have wanted to talk to Lex for months now, about how i'm feeling with rupert and stuff like that... but to no avail.. and everynow and then it wells up inside me, like tonight, and i feel sad and depressed and very lonely and unloved and it's so horrible.. and especially *then* i don't want to be ringing people and asking to talk to them or see them.. it sounds silly i know, how are they going to read my mind and know exactly when i need them.. but if i'm irritated already at them not getting in touch with me, then i'm not going to want to when i'm feeling bad, and need someone to talk to and on who's shoulder to cry on.... and i don't know what to do about all this...