| Sunday 9th of March 2003 |
| Allein, wir sind allein, wir kommen und wir gehen ganz allein, wir moegen noch so sehr geliebt, von Zuneigung umgeben sein, die Kreuzwege des Lebens geh'n wir immer ganz allein, Allein, wir sind allein. Wir kommen und wir gehen ganz allein. |
| luciusdrake: 'night Yahoo! Messenger: luciusdrake is currently offline. The message will still be sent and they will see it next time they log in. (9/03/03 11:07 PM) mistress_denariel: ohw. i should've come online a little earlier. then i could've talked to you. mistress_denariel: damn. i was watching erin brockovich. actually a really good movie mistress_denariel: funny and stuff mistress_denariel: but i have to walk to campus in the morning. mistress_denariel: i have a flat tyre. and nothing to fix it with. and no money to buy things with to fix it with. mistress_denariel: so ihave to walk. mistress_denariel: suck. mistress_denariel: i've put up almost all of my pictures on the wall mistress_denariel: and my room is still tidy (it's amazing, i know) mistress_denariel: and the rats make me smile mistress_denariel: but i'm still crying mistress_denariel: i am so so lonely. mistress_denariel: i know - i just have to be strong. and i did do a really good trot and canter without stirrups today, on luke, several times with good posture and went really well. and when i cantered with stirrups, i didn't lose the inside one like i have been. and we did walk- canter transitions, and halt - trot. mistress_denariel: and then i hopped on mickey bareback and even trotted really well mistress_denariel: and the ratrats and i had a big long family cuddle. and they made me smile so much mistress_denariel: but i don't want to be strong. i just want hugs and cuddles mistress_denariel: and it's not the same over the internet mistress_denariel: and i don't feel little and silly and young - because when you're young, there mistress_denariel: shit. mistress_denariel: when you're young, there's always someone else to sort things out. and to hold you and give you hugs and comfort. and i miss all of you guys so much right now - getting hugs from michael and you and benjamin. not ben because he never gave me hugs. but i miss him heaps too mistress_denariel: it's not that bad. i'm fine most of the time. busy and doing lots of great fun horsey stuff. having so many happy moments. but i can't do without people i love, and i miss you all (and others) so very much. miss seeing you, and talking to you whenever. being around you. so it's just snuck up on me, and now i feel awful. and even worse for not getting emails.. mistress_denariel: stevie knew - i gave her some chocolate and she took it, but she didn't fuck off and eat it right away, she sat there and looked at me, and cocked her head and stuck out her nose. so i gave her a kiss and told her i was ok. and then she turned around and ate it. mistress_denariel: she's so caring. mistress_denariel: goodnight now. talk to you later. |