 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Bio Page 3 |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
In retrospect, I believe the largest conflicts during my first marriage had been over spiritual duties and money, especially when I became a "born again" Christian. She just didn't believe the bible the way I did. I lost faith in God and her the minute she handed me divorce papers to sign! I got so angry at God when I saw my daughter Jessica cradled in the arms of a strange man on what used to be MY front porch.
Truly God had failed me and left all my prayers for my family unanswered. I found momentary solice in the taverns and nightclubs but the more drinking and drugs and loose sex I had, the more I needed to bury the pain.
I had became the ruler of my own universe. I drove Taxi, telemarketed and did temp jobs. Mine was a galexy filled with empty pursuits, lies, mental torment, illness and disease. I stayed floating in this black hole for about eleven years. I collected alot of popular music in those days but still had only lyrics (depressing ones) that never seemed to connect with the synthesizer stuff I was making up. I actually became homeless. I had lost my soul. Everything changed one Friday night on April 3rd, 1993. I remembered my Creator and died to the nightmares of the past..... |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
I was sucking draws off my cigar tube crystal meth pipe trying to get happy. I didn't know it was Easter Eve. Things of God were none of my concern. The traffic below me seemed to all know I was up in that telemarketing office on 30th St, across the street from the bowling alley. I just glared out the window watching the Sun go down on me. The other workers had gotten their daily cash and left me alone to ponder my little world. Suddenly something was very wrong. I could no longer control my body functions. A Christian rock song played on a tape my ex-dealer- girlfriend had given me as I slowly realized I was dying. The song was, "All Night Long" by Youth Choir, a San Diego band. Just as the radio was plugged in to the circuit, I began feeling electric jolts consuming my body. I heard the demonic voices taunt me saying things like, "We always knew we'd get you" and just the most condemning things that to me now are unspeakable. I knew in my heart of hearts that I couldn't go to Hell, because My spirit had Gods seal of ownership on it. I knew I was bought and paid for by the acceptance that Jesus had died for me on a Roman Cross. I also knew in that momentI was dying a humiliating death for any child of God to have...I mean thats a Hell of a way to cross over, huh? |
|
|
|
I was just along for the ride at this point. I mean, when you die you dont get to run the show anymore and all accounts are payable, right? I found myself standing in the midst of a huge fog. I was snatched from the demons and my situation.I was present within my own perception although out of body in a place I believe was the Bemus (judgement place for Christians works) seat of Christ. Only mist and clouds could be seen in any direction up, down and all around. I began to tremble in fear at the presence of the invisible God I had abandoned so many years ago. I could feel his towering awesome consuming power. I percieved that I was standing in front of a huge judges bench/pulpit, whatever and God was brooding over me like a quiet giant might view a puny animal who was dying. I shrunk in the overpowering sence of his all-seeing, all-knowing awareness of who I had once been and who I had become. He spoke a thought into my awareness and told me to stretch out my hands. I did. Then he said to cup them together.I did that too. He spoke into my spirit these words..."These are the works that you've done in Christ Jesus" I looked at my cupped hands which were bare empty and I was emotionally crushed. I had read years ago as a new Christian that the purpose of every person created was to do good works that please God and glorify Jesus. To do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God.My response to this vision God gave me was to cry out loudly in my heart for Jesus. It was the first time I called His name in 11 years. He heard me. |
|
|
|
By His amazing grace I was restored to Him again. He filled me with the joy of the Holy Spirit and I began to do many good works sharing Gods hope for people through different ministries in prison, shelters and to homeless people on the street.He taught me hundreds of new songs, dozens I could call my own, but not for my sake. The bible says that we have to work out our own personal salvation with fear and trembling. It took 11 years for me to make my first baby step as a Christian.
However, there was no condemnation on me for the delay. |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|