Schaefer City

 

Have you seen my Chevy? I lent it to Bob

he had a hot date with some Heineken snob

She was walkin’ around with her nose in the air

saying everything we do they do better over there

 

 

Well, I been there and back

and I still ain’t so sure

I like it here fine

what’s he doing with her?

we got pinball machines

and ringside seats

we got good-looking girls

and grade-A meat

that girl’s no good

though she may be pretty

she’s not like the girls we got in Schaefer City

 

 

have you seen my racket?  I loaned it to Graf

she had to make the quarter-finals, man, ain’t that a laugh

she was walkin’ around with a mouthful o’ wine

saying everything we do we do it mighty fine

 

 

Well, I’ve been around

and I’ve seen my share

I’ve seen nude midget wrestling

and tap-dancing bears

I’ve seen 8 feet of snow

and 6 weeks of rain

I watched the MISL

go straight down the drain

now a cold Schmidt’s is smooth

and a Schlitz tastes shitty

but nothing feels so good as Schaefer City

 

 

have you seen my talk show?  its on every night

I come on after Snyder and that shit ain’t right

I’m in 37 markets and I got groovy guests

and they think what we’re doing, we’re doing it the best

 

 

Well I’ve tried ‘em all

and I’ll tell you, son

It’s the one beer to have

when you’re having more than one

you will forget your troubles

relinquish your cares

just turn on The Gong Show

and sit in your chair

I’ve been out in the cold

and I’ve been sitting pretty

and there ain’t no place like Schaefer City