Eskimos Don’t Gamble (Its A Dog’s Life)

(Blankman/Colchamiro/Fornatale)

 

chorus:

“well, we don’t mind whorin’ and we don’t mind drinkin’

and we don’t mind settin’ out to ramble

but there’s one thing eskimos don’t do

Eskimos don’t gamble”

 

my friend Bob, he’s an eskimo, I took him to Las Vegas

I figured we’d roam around the town and blow away our wages

Bob was glad to see the town ‘cause he knew that whores was legal

but when it came to playing slots, he was bolder than an eagle

he told me:

chorus

 

one time Bob and I were restless, so I took him to the Preakness

$2 bets on the ponies have always been my weakness

Bob was knockin’ down the brewskies like it was goin’ out of style

but when I stepped up to that window he turned to me and smiled

chorus

 

I was having the boys all over, for an all-night poker game

I told them to bring stacks of twenties and snacks, told Bob to do the same

Bob brought pork rinds and a case of beer but he didn’t bring no dough

he said, “I won’t play cards for money and I think you all should know:

chorus

 

no matter what we did or said, Bob refused to gamble

he didn’t even want a piece of the action on that sure thing fight with Livingston Bramble

I remember when Bob’s girlfriend dumped him, we hit the town and we got blotto

I don’t hear to much from Bob since he won $13 Million playing Lotto

he told me:

 

“well, we don’t mind gamblin’ and we don’t mind drinkin’

and we don’t mind snortin’ coke

but there is one thing Eskimos do not do:

Eskimos don’t smoke”