This scene takes place after Rei beats Max in a friendly Beybattle and the little sissy runs off to cry in his bedroom.
Rei slowly opened the door to Max and Tyson's room. The blonde was lying on his stomach, face buried in the pillows. Tyson
and Kenny looked up at Rei and slowly tiptoed out. The Chinese boy sat on the bed next to the blonde.
This is a mistake. First rule of slash, never leave two male characters alone together in a room, especially not one with a bed
or any other kind of surface for that matter. Always make sure that even the floor looks like Kevin's clever lego and toy car traps from Home Alone.
Standing on lego with bare feet sure is painful, those things pack one heck of a nasty bite!
"Max? Max-kun?" Max slowly raised his head. "What?" he asked, roughly wiping his hands across his eyes.
"I just came to see if you were okay. I'm sorry if I hurt you or something."
Uh-oh, intimacy alert. Second rule of slash would have to be that two characters must never speak. Ever. This will lead to
intimacy, and there's nothing an old fat guy loves more than a little intimacy.
The blonde shook his head. "It's nothing like that, Rei-sempai." He gave a watery smile. "If I don't get stronger. Well. Kon-san,
what would you do if I said I was gay?"
Nine out of ten times, intimacy leads to homosexual confessions. Indicators of intimacy include shaky whispers, tears and sitting
close together making kissy faces at each other. As you can see this scene is rich with the stuff.
Rei grinned. "I would ask you who you liked, then I would tell you who I like."
Max's eyes widened. "You're gay, too?"
Like ohmygawd! This is Christmas come early to fat old INTEHRWEB GUYZ!!! Two gay teenagers alone in a bedroom
together. A scene like this one is an important addition to most slash fiction because it's the closest you're gonna get to intensity.
Here's the make or break point, will these guys shy away from each other or say 'ah to hell with it' and crack open a fresh box
of nipple tassles? This is why seats have edges, just try and tell me you're not perched on yours.
Rei nodded his head. "Now will you tell me why you need to get stronger?"
Max took a deep breath. "If I don't get stronger Tyson will never notice me."
Rei smiled, his eyes melting to liquid sunshine. "You like Tyson?" he asked gently. Max nodded. "Yes." He said quietly.
Rei pulled the younger boy into a hug. "I hope you the best, Max- kun."
Max pulled back slightly. "Who is it that you like, Rei-sempai?" he asked hesitantly.
Rei frowned. "You promise not to laugh?"
Max nodded.
"Kai."
The blonde pulled farther away. "You like Kai?"
Looks like this scene won't end with two characters from one of my favourite cartoon series humping each other, but that's
okay because the author of this piece has ruined the show for me in an even better way. Now not two but four of the five
main characters are involved in this filthy narrative and the door has been opened for the inevitable four man orgy ending.
As for Max and Rei's taste in guys, i can't fault Rei, Kai is indeed a good catch. He's quiet and mysterious, easily the
character most likely to make a young lady swoon. Hell, give me a Kai poster and i'll put it on my bedroom door, that's how
good he is. You wouldn't catch me dead putting a Kenny poster up there. Max is young, at least i think he's young, or is he
just blonde and small? Well either way he's naive. He'll learn that Tyson isn't such a good catch. He's lazy, eats too much and
judging by his attitude towards school in the Beyblade V-Force series, lacks dedication. He'd be a terrible beau. On top of
that Tyson clearly loves the ladies, oh he can pretend he hates Hillary all he wants but we all know he wants her ... yeah, i
know my Beyblade.
At Rei's hesitant nod, Max beamed. "You two would be so good for each other."
Typical of slash fiction. A character comes out for five seconds and he's already talking like a woman. Why is he so surprised
anyway? There are only five male characters in the show, who did he think Rei had the hots for, Mister Dickinson? Well that
was just about the geekiest joke i ever cracked. I humbly apologise.
They stayed that way for a while, Rei sitting on the bed with Max in his lap, the blonde playing with the long strands of ebony
hair.
Max was the first to break the silence. "Are you sure you're gay?"
Rei smiled. "Yeah. I've never really been interested in girls that way, or even attracted to them. Ever. I have had crushes on
other boys, though. What about you?"
Max snuggled deeper into Rei's protective embrace. "The first time I ever liked anyone it was Tyson." He began tracing patterns
on Rei's chest. "Who was the first guy that you ever liked?"
Rei closed his eyes, remembering. "His name was Jin-Chin. He was my best friend. We were both eleven and I told him that I
liked him and kissed him. He punched me in the face. We didn't talk after that." His eyes flew open when he felt Max's soft lips
against his own. Max pulled back slightly, blushing. "I thought you might like a better kissing experience. And I needed a good
first one."
"Oh," Rei said. He was blushing slightly also.
The blonde's eyes twinkled. "What's a kiss between friends?"
Well there you have it, the kiss, this kiss opens the door up to any amount of shameless nudity and gratuitous sex the author can
come up with for the rest of the story. The first kiss in slash has to be pretty much exactly like this one, shy and meaningful.
But don't worry, after the first chapter of any slash fiction story any kind of romance is washed away by three pages of hideous
and unusual sexual escapades. If you're lucky there'll be tentacle rape too. Try not to be too disappointed if the tentacles
don't make an appearance, it just means they'll be all the more special when they do. They're like the flake in your cocoa. I
can't believe how fruity Max is, i think this explains why the guy can't go two minutes without phoning his mummy. He sure
did play with Rei's long strands of ebony hair, doesn't get much gayer than that.
Suddenly the door banged open. Rei shoved Max off his lap, only to be pulled off the bed when the blonde refused to let go of
his hair. Kai stood in the doorway, eyeing them angrily.
"Did I interrupt play time?" he asked them acidly.
In true japanese style, an awkward but funny ending, who saw that coming?
Sadly this is where the unfinished masterpiece ends. It's quite harsh that i had to sit through the whole bedroom scene and they
didn't even throw in a nipple but take comfort in the fact that I didn't do a running commentary on the
Beyblade/Buffy/Angel
crossover slash or the one with the description
"Robert finds max of the Blade Breakers doing something naughty". I hope I've introduced you to something truly special,
I also hope I've destroyed beloved childhood memories by pointing out that every last one of those shows you used to get up
early for on a weekend has been abused in this way by fat middle-aged lowlives. Every last one of them.