A Master has asked that this one do research and search her soul.. to find what a ko~lar means to her and all kajirae..
this one will put down what it means to others first for that is the easiest to interpret..
going through pages.. and sites.. since this one has formed her webring.. she has seen many kajirae's thoughts.. but they all seem to say the same thing.. just perhaps in different ways..
Every kajira gives her heart, soul and body.. to the Master that places that ko~lar around her neck.. it symbolizes the union of the Master and his slave.. her desire to do all that He or She {to be fair} wishes.. the adoration of the kajira shows in everything that she does.. from getting Him something to drink/eat, to in r/t cleaning the house.. washing his clothes.. every little chore she does for Him.. down to taking all that He wants to give in the bedroom also.. yes.. r/t BD/sM is safe, sane and consensual.. but as this one has found out.. it depends on the person...
The kajira's soul burns with desire to please.. never to feel the unhappiness.. to hear the pleasing words, to see the smile to feel the caress of His hand in pleasure..
With the acceptance of the ko~lar.. she gives her gift of submission.. the gift of control and trust.. the gift of her will..
As for this one's meaning.. she searched her soul... found all of her life.. she has been submissive in one way or another.. In past sexual experiences.. {which were all vanilla}.. she found herself pleasing Him.. rather than allowing herself pleasure.. perhaps in her sexual history.. she can say she truly had 4 orgasms.. for she did not allow herself.. for it was for Him.. not her..
She found the most joy when she was "belonging" to someone.. was able to say my boyfriend, wants me to do this.. or my boyfriend likes it when i do that.. she did not take well to displeasure.. the first sign of displeasure and her heart was broken to the core..
But she did not understand why.. why she felt so compelled to please Him...She did not realize that there was a "lifestyle" out there.. that this was an everyday occurrance..that there was a name, a word for what she was inside.. she thought she was alone.. that there was something wrong with her for not getting pleasure so much in the "act" of sex.. but in the reasons behind her giving the pleasure..
When she first came into a BD/sM room on the internet.. she was shocked .. she could not understand how P/people could give so completely to Another.. she said somethings.. made a few people angry.. got kicked from the room.. so she changed her name.. and went back in.. this time.. she hid in the shadows.. watching.. understanding... learning.
Though.. she truly did not understand until she too had a Master.. unfortunately.. the first ko~lar she wore.. perhaps she didn't truly understand ... she could not allow herself to be second to another.. The Master wanted to ko~lar another..
The next ko~lar.. was different.. she gave herself totally to Him.. he wanted another.. she said Yes Master.. He said come to me.. she said Yes Master.. He said bring the whip.. she said, Yes Master.... It was always Yes Master.. but it was what this one actually wanted to say.. she never felt the urge to disobey.. she just wanted to please Him..
then.... she went r/t with that Master.... and her whole perspective changed.... she found herself being submissive in areas.. she was never before.. she found herself enjoying washing his dishes.. she found herself enjoying washing his clothes.. she found herself enjoying the feel of the leather.. for knowing it was what he wanted.. and what he demanded... and allowing myself to enjoy the pleasure that it would give me.. part in His demands that this one enjoys it.. plus seeing his pleasure when this one would cum.. But it is beyond sex.. it is about control.. it is about surrender..
and the ko~lar is a symbol of that.. it is a symbol of the heat the burns deep inside of a kajira.. it is the symbol of submission.. it is the symbol of ownership by The Master that owns that gift of submission..
To this kajira.. the ko~lar is a life.. her life.. her love..her desires..her gift of submission.. her Master.. and all she is .. is HIS!!!
