journal
my life is so bizarre, or boring, but either way, i'm writing about it right here as often as possible!

saturday 31 december 2005 8:28pm

"and you ask me what i want this year
and i try to make this kind and clear
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
'cause i don't need boxes wrapped in strings
and desire and ... empty things
just a chance that maybe we'll find better days
so take these words
and sing out loud
'cause everyone is forgiven now
'cause tonight's the night the world begins again" -- goo goo dolls "better days"

i feel like i should write a final entry for the year.  as if as i write i will come up with something profound that i will share here.  but i'll just say it was a good year.

but first thing's first.  i am now back in laguna in my apartment.  :)  it was a long day getting to this point, though.  i heard a knock on the front door this morning around 9 when i was very much still asleep.  i thought it might be katherine coming over to drop off a christmas present (even though i told her last night to call first and she hadn't called), so i got out of bed.  turns out it was auntie lily, also coming to drop off a christmas present for me. :)  so i guess it was alright that i was awoken so early.  after saying goodbye to her and uncle ken, i tried to get a little more sleep but it wasn't happening, so i just got cleaned up and dressed instead.  mom made a proper breakfast, so that was happy (and delicious). :)  and then it was back to the packing.  i brought home a lot of stuff and acquired a lot while there, so the car was pretty full.  and kath did eventually come over with a christmas present, which was sweet. :)  then i headed off on my 470-mile journey down the coast.  i stopped in salinas and met meg at a starbucks where we had coffee and exchanged christmas presents, as well.  turns out meg and i are the same person (even if we're definitely not the same person at all) because we both had wrapped the presents in plain red paper, though hers had a sparkly purple bow and mine had a plain white ribbon bow.  and we bought each other things we love but know that the other would also love (she got clothes from the gap and i got books) and then we both bought each other dishes.  she got a matching set of glasses because i knew she doesn't have one.  i got bowls and plates that don't match my set because she said i needed a few mismatching dishes (though what i got is still a set of 4 plates and 4 bowls, all of which match each other -- and are rad). :)  anyway, then i headed down the road, stopping for snacks and bathrooms in paso robles and ventura before finally making it here.  my co-pilot, once again was my orange fish, and i had a stack of new cds to listen to and sing with.  :)  it wasn't rainy until i got home, which meant unloading my car in the rain but i survived.

and as for 2005, it really was a good one, even if not perfect.  my final semester at pepperdine and in malibu went extremely well, and i graduated from pepp, too.  the joint graduation party with sarah was wonderful, though it was weird to leave all the pepp people after 4 years.  i found my first real job job with the rtc group.  last year at this time i didn't have a clue that i'd be doing something as artistic as being a "production designer" for rtc, but here i am.  i met a lot of new people along the way, this year, though the year also saw most everyone i know scatter around the world.  i, myself, moved from my beloved malibu to south orange county to laguna niguel, where i didn't know a soul.  and my travels brought me to hawaii, nashville, washington, dc, and syracuse, as well as back home to san carlos several times.  and i lost auntie bibing and grandpa this year, some of the harder days.  but in all, it has been good.

that's enough for now.  happy new year, and i'll be back to write a little more in 2006!

friday 30 december 2005 11:54pm

"walks in the rain, talks in the dark
old back and white movies, a day at the park
on a blanket on the ground on a sunday afternoon
hangin' with friends or off by ourselves
drivin' around yard sale to yard sale
droppin' by the county fair, winnin' you a a bear poppin' balloons
if you're lookin' for someone to do that with, here i am
someone to be the other half of your plans
don't look any further than in my eyes
if you're looking for that man, here i am" -- billy currington "here i am"

it's my last night at (this) home.  in a way, i'm not really quite ready to leave because i know if i had more time, i'd see more friends, do a few more things, and perhaps also rest a bit more.  but i also know it's likely time that i head back south.  i can't remember the last time i saw sunshine, the bottoms of all my pants are wet from being out in the rain, this house is feeling crowded, and i desperately miss my bed.  so tomorrow, i drive back to laguna.

today started out wonderfully, as i slept in quite late (despite mom waking me up early because she needed something out of my room).  and i read a bit.  i eventually got out of my bed, though, and went to find dad, who was working in his office but said he was ready for meal #2 and wanted to know if i was ready for meal #1.  he made one of my favorite, waffles, and they weren't his standard bisquick waffles but were instead honey buckwheat buttermilk waffles!  very fancy! ;)  but they were delicious!

as i started trying to make sure all my things were sort of gathered (i've had christmas presents scattered all over the living room since... well... christmas), i found the box of missing christmas cards that mom had been looking for all morning!  she was so thankful that i talked her into giving me her leftover best buy gift certificate! :)  devious, i know, but whatever!  anyway, i spent some more time gathering stuff.

kelly called because lisa and him were working down at the radio station.  since they couldn't meet me today for lunch or dinner, he said i could stop by to see them for a bit.  at first, i told him no because i'm always inclined to say no.  after hanging up and reconsidering, though, i called him back and told him i would.  i should say yes more.  so i got cleaned up and dressed and headed down to san jose to see kelly and lisa.  they're both doing well, and it was really good to catch up with them for a little bit.  :)  it was totally worth the random drive down there.

when i got back home, i decided i wanted a snack and juice from skinny sippin (it's like a local sort of jamba juice) sounded excellent.  i woke up adam from the nap that he had apparently just started (i'm annoying, apparently!), and asked him to take me down there.  he agreed only if we could also go to best buy, which was now fine with me since i had the new gift card!   so i had an un-berry from skinny sippin and enjoyed it while perusing the aisles of best buy for more cds.  of course, i picked up 7 and had to narrow it back down to three.  i'll want what's left on that card later.  but i did come home with some more great new music for my long drive tomorrow, so i'm happy! :)

after getting dressed and pretty, the whole family headed down to redwood city to a tavola for our pre-new year's eve dinner. :)  normally, i throw the new year's eve celebration, so we did it a night early this year since i won't be in town.  ten of us gathered tonight: mom, dad, adam, kath, her parents ken and pat, annahita, tiffany, melissa, and me. :)  dinner was absolutely delicious, and i think everyone else would agree with me.  i, perhaps, had the strangest dinner, but it was great!  i had a caesar salad and then macaroni and cheese (which was officially an appetizer).  why not go with the comfort food, right?  and geez, that was so delicious!  it for sure wasn't from a blue kraft box! ;)  and the restaurant was lovely and it was great to see the friends.  and then the waiter brought bread pudding and chocolate brownie for dessert and also in celebration of melissa and adam's recent birthdays.  those were also lovely, especially the brownie!  we sat and chatted awhile and all 4 parents headed home.  suddenly we were the only people left in the restaurant, so we decided to head over to the nearest starbucks, where we could hang out and chat some more.  it was pouring rain out but we made it there alright, if also a little wet.  we were there until that place closed, as well, and then we all headed home.  what a fun night!  it was good to get a good group of friends together like that!

and now i'll need to do a bit of packing before i can go to bed so that i don't have to get up too too early tomorrow morning.  i'm planning on heading out around lunchtime.  it's been a great stay here, but i'm also looking forward to fun things in laguna, like disneyland on sunday!

good night for now... ;)

thursday 29 december 2005 11:49pm

"she'll slip off a pair of heels
walk barefoot across the field
climb up on a fence just to be near me
sometimes i think that horse still scares her half to death
yeah, i'm about as country as she gets
she likes being within spending distance of a mall
having enough bars to make a cell phone call
put her in a crowd and she' right in her element
yeah, i'm about as country as she gets
but she'll slip out on the porch sometimes
when that sun's low in the sky
pull up a rocking chair just to be with me
until that first big june bug buzzes by hear head
see i'm about as country as she gets" -- joe nichols "as country as she gets"

a couple things to start... i am loving my new joe nichols cd. :)  and happy birthday to melissa, who i've known since we were 5!

i was up late last night reading and watching tv and not really doing much of anything but being awake.  and this morning, i slept until i woke up and was ready to be awake, which is always awesome because it so rarely happens! :)  but i certainly did enjoy myself.  and even once i was awake, i read a bit more all tucked into the warm covers.  that's how mornings should be spent.  but i did eventually get up and clean and dressed. :)

mom, dad, adam, and i (the whole family!) headed down to santa clara to my favorite movie theatre.  dad's a huge c.s. lewis fan, so he had been really anxious to see "the chronicles of narnia: the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe."  and i heard it was visually really cool, so i was up for it.  i've seen the bbc version about a million times because when we were kids katherine had the set of videotapes and we watched them over and over and over.  anyway, so we grabbed some jamba juices and went to the movies. :)  (one of the things that makes it my favorite theatre is that you don't have to hide food in your purse or coat to get it inside!)  of course, with mom in charge, we were a zillion hours early, but at least we got good seats and a hot bag of popcorn! :)  mmm!  and the movie was good!  in fact, i think i enjoyed it way more than i anticipated. :)  fun stuff!

this afternoon, i was trying to get all the plans for tomorrow night's dinner together.  i ended up arguing with the bj's manager on the phone and still not getting a reservation, so we switched the plan to what is actually a really nice local restaurant that i'm quite excited about, a tavola! :)  so that's all straightened out and i'm looking forward to it!  it's the new year's celebration one day early, since i won't be here for new year's eve this year.

then mom wanted to do a bit of shopping at stanford shopping center, so the whole family decided to make it yet another family outing.  as nervous as it made me because sometimes those can get hectic, it actually turned out quite well!  plus, i ended up with a new jacket from the gap and a new track suit from lucy, so i'm stoked!  then the parents dropped me off at applewood pizza in menlo park, where i was meeting friends.

you know those nights (or days, i suppose) where the time just flies by and you never want them to end because you're having so much fun and don't know the next time you'll have fun like this?  yeah, tonight was one of those nights for me, where i honestly could have stayed in that same place for 3 more hours and never thought twice about leaving.  tonight was the "beer and pizza night" katherine has been wanting to have with our math teacher from high school -- and now friend -- troy.  kath, annahita, troy, and i met for pizza and beer at applewood.  we sat and caught up and there was beer (and diet coke) and pizza.  and mostly there was just fun talking. :)  and all of a sudden, the workers there were putting chairs up on tables and there were only a few parties left and it was clear we had to go, though i wasn't especially anxious to.  but it was a great time! :)

i wasn't home long before i realized i needed something at the store tonight, so adam and i ran down there really quickly.  and then we hung out and watched leno and whatever.  and i'm getting a bit sleepy, so i suppose i should get to bed now.

hope you had a great day!  good night. :)

wednesday 28 december 2005 10:49pm

"when you go to sleep and you can't find a dream, won't you try me
a place you can whisper the secrets you keep, that's what i'll be
and when you've given up and there is no one to trust come and find me
then maybe you could leave lonely for good
try me, try me, try me" -- trisha yearwood "try me"

with lots of rain, poor directions, and a vague plan, today was one of those days that was a bit of an adventure and turned out to be an absolute blast!  and i feel like i -- at least a little bit -- took advantage of being so close to the city. :)

in lieu of plugging in the alarm clock and setting it, i had dad call me to wake me early(ish) this morning so i could be up and dressed and set to go by the time katherine arrived here.  so anyway, it was raining last night and it was raining and windy when i woke up this morning.  i jumped into a hot shower and got cleaned up and knew i would need a weather-and-walking appropriate outfit today.  anyway, i gto got dressed and had a bit of breakfast and then kath arrived.

we got a few hundred yards away when i realized i was without proper directions, so i had to turn around and get them really quick.  and then we were officially off to theresa's to pick her up.  then it was all the was up to san fran through heavy rain to grandma's house.  i decided we should pay her a visit since we were going just a few blocks away from where she lives.  she was just hanging out watching "the price is right" on tv.  she was glad to see us, and she wanted to chat a bit.  plus, she gave all three of us $10 (in $1-bills paper clipped together) for the museum. :)  awesome!  she's great like that!  and of course, she also sent lots of other random things with us, including some plastic plates, some christmas towels (she doesn't need them because apparently "towels last a lifetime"), and two cans of tuna fish. :)

then we headed to the newly-reopened de young museum in golden gate park.  it took us awhile because our directions were quite bad and we ended up driving around the park instead of into it but we made it eventually. :)  and the museum was awesome!  first of all, the outside is copper and it will get a patina over time and turn green (like the statue of liberty).  you can see it starting to happen already!  but eventually, it will be green and blend into the park nicely.  the museum was much larger than i had expected, and it has quite a good collection, especially of american art.  they have lots of american art from all the various eras.  my favorite parts were the room full of jasper johns pieces and the sculpture garden.  also, there's a crack that runs all around the front entrance, though the paving stones and through large stones that are like benches i guess.  so interesting!  also, the museum has a tower with a beautiful viewing room at the top.  360 degrees around the park and the city!  and the rain had cleared by this point, so we could see downtown, the golden gate bridge, and the bay.  actually, i love this room!  i want to throw a party in it at some point. :)

and after a few hours at the museum, we were ready to head out.  we were hungry and tired.  we headed back down the peninsula to hillsdale to california pizza kitchen for some lunch.  oddly, it was packed at 3, but we eventually got a table and delicious pizza!  in fact, we were all so hungry that we all finished our pizzas!  so then we were all happy with our day. :)  i brought theresa home and kath came back to my house and then went home.

i went to hang out with my brother and once again ended up just napping in his room while he played video games or whatever. :)  he hates it when i do that, but whatever.  and then the rest of the family had dinner and i joined the, but didn't eat because i was still so full from cpk.  and apparently, i still smelled of garlic.  oops!  i had no idea!  and we watched some football and other random tv and now i'm pretty much ready to crash.  or read for a bit.  or something.  i don't know yet. :)

have a good night!  more tomorrow. :)

tuesday 27 december 2005 11:36pm

"it ain't the gettin', it's the wishin'
it ain't the catchin', it's the fishin'
anticipation got me waitin' for you sweet love, darlin'
sweet love
let's get your whispers, honey, tangled up with mine
hurry on over and just take your sweet, sweet time, oh" -- trisha yearwood "sweet love"

i am so old!  like really surprisingly old!  my baby brother turned 17 today!  in my head, i thought i was still 17!  apparently, this is not so. ;)  but either way, we did have fun celebrating!

first things first, though.  there were some errands to take care of today.  mom got me up early that what i might consider desirable so that i could be at the eye doctor for my annual exam at 11.  i don't especially mind going to the eye doctor and he updated my prescription in case i decide to do something about it.  however, then he asked me what i was doing for the next three hours.  um, grocery shopping, baking, nothing much.  and then he dilated my pupils.  super.  and of course i had left my sunglasses at home on the dash of my car.  so after my exam, i was off to run errands with mom while i couldn't really see and a headache was developing.  first stop: house of bagels for meal #1.  :)  delicious!  and then the bank was a bit odd, as i needed to sign a bunch of things and fill out forms but i could only focus on things about 18 inches from my face, no closer and no farther.  but i got those done and we moved on to the grocery.  needed supplies for some afternoon baking.  and when i got home, i realized i forgot something so i had adam try to find it for me but he failed so he picked me up at home and we went back to the grocery.  turns out he was right and they didn't have it at the first store so we had to go to the next one.

anyway, i was trying a new sort of cake this afternoon.  uncle ken requested a cake that is like his favorite black-bottom cupcakes only in cake form.  so i gave it a shot, and it turned out alright, i thought.  or at least it looked ok, except for the lettering, which didn't turn out well at all because the frosting i was using was way too stiff.  but anyway, it would be a totally decent birthday cake for my brother. :)

and then i napped in adam's room while he played video games.  this house is cold.  it's warmer if you have two people in one small room. :)  and then i woke up, popped some popcord, and we watched the gonzaga-memphis basketball game!  adam and i had been looking forward to that one for a long time, and we both have already jumped on the memphis bandwagon this year so we were stoked!  and the game was a great one! :)  back and forth and exciting!  and in the end, memphis pulled off a great win!  what an awesome birthday treat for him!

and for a proper birthday celebration, auntie lily, uncle ken, and theresa came over for dinner with our family.  mom made salad, green beans, chicken parmesan, pasta (actually, i did the pasta part), and pineapple.  the meal was quite delicious, and it's good to sit down for a proper family dinner. :)  and then we sang "happy birthday" and had cake.  i got lots of compliments on it, which is exciting considering i wasn't quite sure what i was doing and i think it might have turned out differently had i had more time to plan, a kitchen of my own, and a few more ingredients.  but i am happy it was tasty and everyone enjoyed!  and adam opened a couple birthday presents, including mom's gag gift, which was an imitation dance-dance-revolution pad, the box of which featured pink and purple, little girls, and lots of stars! :)  so it was a good day for adam! :)

and tonight, i was just hanging out around the house, mostly reading since i couldn't really find anything worth watching on tv and i'm loving "prep."  and now, i'm just about ready to crash, especially since i know i'll be up early tomorrow.

more tomorrow.  good night...

monday 26 december 2005 10:45pm

"colored boxes filled with fancy presents
they were mighty pretty sights, it's true
but all those pretty things
they just can't compare
to the beauty in you
on christmas day
the greatest gift i know
would he having your to hold
underneath the mistletoe" -- alan jackson/kenny chesney "just put a ribbon in your hair"

well, today turned out not at all like i had planned, but it was a lot of fun, even if the plans were improvised.  sometimes, days like that make great days! :)

dad got a huge subwoofer for his stereo in his office for christmas.  he hooked it up last night.  this morning, he was doing a bit of work and switched on that stereo to listen to some music.  i could hear it from my room.  um, yeah, i'd say that it work me up!  but that was alright.  i got up and lazed around the house a bit.

kath got back form her aunt's cottage in pacific grove this morning and gave me a ring about our plans to go to a museum in the city.  but i discovered that the museum isn't open on mondays and therefore wasn't open today so we had to change our plans a little bit.  after a couple calls with kath and with meg, we decided to hit the outlets in gilroy for some post-christmas shopping.  i suppose that was probably not a great idea because they'd certainly be crowded, but that was the plan anyway. :)  so after a bit of reading (i am getting into "prep"), i got cleaned up and ready for a day of shopping.

adam and i went to pick up katherine, where we also met up with meg and her sister erin.  and it was great to have a minute or two to catch up with kath's parents, pat and ken.  anyway, we took two cars down to gilroy because meg and erin were headed to meg's apartment in monterey afterwards.  and we made it to the outlets, which were in fact quite crowded.  and since the parking situation wasn't good, we decided to walk between sections instead of driving, which is not normal.  but we saw lots and lots of shops (meg and erin tired out early and went to monterey).  i found a few cute things, so i was pleased.  and on our way back, kath, adam, and i decided we were kind of hungry, so we stopped at baja fresh for a bit of dinner.  and then i brought kath home and headed home myself.

it wasn't long before adam decided that his best buy gift certificates were just burning a hold in his pocket, so he drove us down there for a little more shopping.  i, myself, had an episode and found way more cds than what my best buy gift card would buy. :)  oops!  it happens to me every now and then.  so i have some new music to entertain me. :)

and tonight (after a few phone calls to try to arrange a big dinner with friends on friday -- if you're reading this and are able, you should come) i watched "charlie and the chocolate factory" with the family.  they all enjoyed it.  putting me in a warm bed in the evening after a long day of shopping and driving while watching a movie i've already seen put me to sleep, however.  but it was still fun!

tomorrow, my baby brother turns 17.  there's no way adam's 17, right?  right?!?  we plan to celebrate by watching the gonzaga-memphis game and having cake!  and also with my eye doctor appointment?  ok, maybe not that. ;)  anyway, for now, good night.

sunday 25 december 2005 11:34pm

"the snow is falling, it's christmas eve
presents are wrapped under the tree
is there one for me
i only want you for christmas, baby
i don't need nothing else
i only want you for christmas, baby
tie a ribbon 'round yourself
oh, tie a ribbon 'round yourself
i ain't gonna write no letter send north to the pole
'cause what i'm wanting this year saint nick don't need to know
i only want you for christmas, baby" -- alan jackon "i only want you for christmas"

merry christmas!  i hope yours was a good one.  mine here with the family was nice.

they woke me up around 8 or so, which is a bit early but i guess it was appropriate since auntie nancy and jeff were already over for christmas breakfast.  so i got up, threw a sweatshirt over my pajamas, and we had a nice breakfast together.  and then it was time to open some presents, which of course adam was quite anxious to do.  so we sat in the living room and opened some presents while mom fired away with her new camera.  i'm not good at opening presents in front of an audience but i do it anyway, so whatever. ;)  i got some cool stuff, so i'm pleased.

then it was time to get ready for our big christmas lunch with the whole family.  i got cleaned up and beautiful and put on my new christmas dress (that meg made me buy from anthropologie awhile back because it's so cute!).   and because it's rainy here and we were headed over to uncle ken and auntie lily's house, i had to put a jacket on over it.  so sad! ;)  but i did love the dress!

lunch at the cornwells' was good!  of course, it only took me about 15 minutes before i could start feeling my allergic reaction to the pets so i was on the drugs right away, which make me drowsy and less than happy about the whole experience.  but being with the family always cheers me up.  so we ate and watched some football on tv and opened presents together.  and then there was some blackjack.  grandma brought the quarters(! not dimes!) and i managed to win $2, when i started with $6.50.  awesome!  of course, grandma took back all the quarters so we'll play with them again next time, but it felt good to win after i lost everything on thanksgiving.  and eventually, we headed back home.

we have just been hanging out around the house since then, relaxing and whatever.  i might have napped through "grey's anatomy" with mom, as well.  and chats with kath and josh put a smile on my face!  and somehow, i'm up late again for no reason in particular.

tomorrow, i think i'll be headed into the city, which should be fun.  and plans are starting to take shape for the rest of my time at home, which is perfectly fine with me!

so now, i'm off to bed.  good night.  merry christmas. ;)

saturday 24 december 2005 11:55pm

"i'll have a blue christmas without you
i'll be so blue thinking about you
decorations of red on a green christmas tree
won't be the same, dear, if you're not here with me" -- elvis presley "blue christmas"

merry christmas! :)  i hope you're having a great one, wherever you are for it.

i once again managed to sleep in nice and late, and i fully intend on making a habit of it while i'm here at home. :)  it's great!  and i think it can happen more this year than in the past because adam's also all about sleeping in these days.  when he was younger, he was always up early and causing a racket and all that so i couldn't sleep late even if i tried.

i eventually got up, though.  dad made us waffles for breakfast, which i always love!  and we bummed around awhile watching football and doing not much of anything other than just hanging out.  plus, we watched my kc chiefs beat san diego, which i always love!

eventually, i got cleaned up.  adam and i decided it would be a great idea to go to the mall this afternoon.  why not on christmas eve, right? ;)  actually, we knew we'd be able to entertain ourselves there even if we needed absolutely nothing.  so we headed over to hillsdale.  it was not really crowded at all, though it was quite clear that pretty much everyone that was there was in a hurry.  anyway, we did have a good time wandering around and we picked out a couple things for the parents to wrap up for us. :)  and i found a really cool bracelet for myself and one more christmas present for megs.  and then we decided that actually, we were kind of hungry for lunch, so we went down the street to taxis.  yes, i know i had taxis yesterday, but i never get it when i'm in laguna, so i'll have my fill now. :)  so delicious!  and then we went to trader joe's because we were responsible for dinner for the fam tonight and we needed to get ingredients.

after a really nice afternoon nap, i made pizzas for the family.  one was a traditional pepperoni, and the other was a pesto chicken bacon pizza, which turned out great! :)  i totally win!  so dinner was great!  and afterwards, auntie nancy and cousin jeff came over for dessert.  she brought a couple cakes for us to try and i also had volcano cakes from trader joe's to try!  everything was tasty!  plus, i managed to make everyone let me keep mtv's "laguna beach" marathon on the tv. :)  yes!

after dinner, adam and i put on our sunday best (or sweaters and jeans) and went down to st. charles for 10pm midnight mass.  yes, i know that that's an oxymoron.  i think they made it early for all the old people in the parish.  ;)  but anyway, we ran into uncle ken and cousin theresa before mass, so we sat with them.  mass was good, even if it's weird that i'd never seen either of the priests before because they're new and i pretty much never go to st. charles these days.  but anyway, it was nice and i didn't run into anyone i didn't want to talk to. :)  that's hard to do in san carlos!

and now i'm getting ready for bed and watching the midnight mass from st. peter's in rome on my tv.  of course, it's pretty much the same mass because the readings are all the same, but that's ok.  it's interesting because of its grandeur.  i should go there some year for christmas.  or for any mass.

but i do need to get to bed.  i'm sure i'll be awoken in the morning earlier than desired.  i did, however, already instruct the parents not to wake me until they're totally ready to start with the presents and all that christmas morning stuff.  i don't need to be awake before that for anything.  so merry christmas and good night!

saturday 24 december 2005 12:25am

"now i've got blues
and i've got blues
let's get acquainted and lose those blues
let's go
time's a wastin'
now i've got feet
and i've got feet
let's start to walk with a lover's beat
let's go
time's a wastin'" -- johnny and june carter cash "time's a wastin'"

(just fyi, this song has two parts, otherwise the words don't really make sense)

i must say, it is really good to be home. :)  or perhaps i am just loving a really good break.  or the rest.  or all of it.  anyway, it doens't matter.  this break at home had a good start today, and i'm feeling great!  except for the fact that my back is really tight, i think because of all the intense driving yesterday and because i'm getting old. ;)

last night before they went to sleep i told the parents not to bother waking me up this morning.  i wanted to get a full night's rest.  and i was up later than i had really anticipated because i ended up chatting with sarah online for awhile, an activity we've had less time for lately, especially with sarah home in sacramento (woodland) and busy with things there.  anyway, so we were catching up late into the night, and then i went to bed.  and slept quite late this morning, which i definitely enjoyed!

i bummed around the house for awhile.  i brought home 3 weeks worth of dirty laundry so i had to actually get all of it washed.  i was successful and now have lots of clean things to wear! :)

this afternoon, dad took me down to santa clara to my favorite movie theatre to see "walk the line."  of course, we were way early so we wandered around the microcenter for awhile and then we to the cinema.  oh, goodness!  i absolutely loved the movie!  see it.  see it now.  it was crazy good, the music was wonderful, and i really did think they did a wonderful job telling the sort of this part of johnny's life.  and i didn't cry, though i think i easily could have spent the entire movie crying since it's basically about how he falls in love with june.  after all, they were totally soulmates.  so yeah, good movie!!! :)  and dad liked it, too, and i had to quiet him down when he wanted to sing along with the movie.  haha!  and afterwards, we went across the parking lot to taxis for dinner!  one of my favorite places!  they really do have the best french fries! :)  delicious!

and when we got back to the house tonight (by the way, my friend kelly was dj-ing on krty, which is always cool to me), adam was back from his snowboarding trip so i could finally see him!  and i spent some time putting some decorations on the christmas tree.

then adam and i headed out to blockbuster to rent a movie.  we came back with "riding giants."  yes, i know i just saw it, but i really liked it and i knew dad and adam would both enjoy seeing it.  we watched it in the parents' room on their giant tv and it was even better the second time around!  love that film!

and then i hung out with adam for awhile in his room.  i convinced him to bring me a glass of milk and i was really specific about it being in a glass and not under- or over-filled and that it be milk.  however, i guess i wasn't specific enough because he brought it in a wine glass, just be like that!  haha!  i swear i could kill that kid! ;)

anyhow, i've now been awake almost 14 hours (14 by the time i actually get to sleep) which means it's time for me to get some sleep.  good night!  happy christmas early!

thursday 22 december 2005 11:32pm

"run with me like a hell-bent gypsy
scream for me from the highest balcony
carve my name on an old red door in spain
make me immortal make me immortal in your heart
and show me
i want you to show me
what love is, what love is
baby, get my attention
touch me deep inside
show me what i've been missin'
missin' all my lie
give me my finest hour
give me my ray of light
give me something that can't be denied" -- martina mcbride "show me"

phew!  i made it! :)  hooray!  i'm back in the old hometown for the holidays, which i'm sure will be an adventure.  eight or nine days of go-go-go might kill me but i've been looking forward to it for quite awhile now.  and it'll be a lot of fun!  i can hardly even wait!

so i got up at my normal 7:30 feeling alright.  i got cleaned up, got dressed, and gathered all the things that still needed to go to the car with me.  and all of a sudden i was already running 5 minutes lates and i had two stops to make on my way to work.  first, return all 6 dvds so blockbuster doesn't hunt me down.  second, stop for breakfast (another sprinkle-covered donut).

and i made it to work only 10 minutes late.  :)  no worries.  it was sort of a gimme day.  nothing much going on.  or at least that's what i had anticipated.  but i had an email waiting for me from sally when i arrived.  she wanted me to do actual work, so i took care of that right away so that i could goof off the rest of the day with everyone else (at least the people who bothered to even come in today).  and then i did have a fun day! :)  we watched a couple episodes of "the office," which were (of course) hilarious!  and i opened a few more presents, including a rilo kiley cd from marke, b&n gift certificate from jan, and a really pretty perfume bottle from lea.  awesome! :)  and once everyone started bailing around lunchtime, i did too!  i had things to do!

driving.  lots and lots and lots of driving!  475 miles and 8 hours.  i live a really long ways away!  sometimes i forget!  but it's true!  so i got in the volvo, had my orange fish co-pilot (it's a long drive and i needed a cute co-pilot), and had a bunch of great cds ready to go.  so i went up 405 to 101 instead of the more conventional 5 so that i didn't have to do mountain passes, loads of trucks, and nowhere in sight to stop.  i prefer the oceanview! :)  so anyway, it didn't take me too long to get out of la, i guess, but it felt like a long time.  it's far!  and then once i got through santa barbara i started looking for somewhere to stop.  i stopped in santa maria for gas and a meal or sorts from mcdonalds.  and then i drove a long time more and it started to rain.  but i made it to salinas before 7 and met meg and her roomie noah at chevy's there for dinner.  it was quite tasty, the break was needed, and it was nice to see meg and finally meet noah.  and then i headed home and made it here just before 10.  it was a long day, and i'm glad to be here finally.

and so there are lots of plans in the works and i am sure more things will pop up quickly. :)  and i'm ready... as long as i can get some sleep in tonight.  i brought my electric blanket, so hopefully that and the 5 layers of blankets on my bed will keep me warm enough.  anyway, i'm going to get some sleep.  good night.  more next time... ;)

wednesday 21 december 2005 10:02pm

"'cause every moment i had with you
made me who i am" -- dierks bentley "gonna get there some day"

it was a chill day all the way around, which is fine, even if it also means that it was not exciting really.  but it was generally nice and so i'm ok with it.  and it's good because i'll need some energy tomorrow.

i got to bed at a decent hour last night, which was great!  except that i guess i was in a deep sleep stage when that alarm clock went off this morning because i was totally out of it and not feeling rested at all.  but i got up and made it to the shower, got cleaned up, you know.  i got dressed (it only took me 5 pairs of pants to find something i actually felt ok wearing), grabbed some breakfast, and headed out.

i was greeted with a desk full of christmas presents when i arrived at work!  apparently, today was the official christmas present day, or something.  so we all had a nice time opening presents! :)  but mostly, work today was... um... boring.  i didn't have a whole lot to get done and entertaining myself wasn't so easy for whatever reason.  plus, marke stole our office dvd with all the episodes of "the office" on it so we couldn't even watch those!  we did play a around of bingo, which was cool even if didn't win.  and jenna, melissa, and i did do lunch out at tina and vince's which was delicious.  and this afternoon, around 4:15 i was bored to the point of a mild headache.  i snuck out 15 minutes early and headed straight home.

actually, not exactly straight home because i stopped for gas at the most beautiful gas station ever (the one on pch like a second from the beach and ocean).  the air there smelled like ocean and all the surfers were out because the surf was crazy good today.  and then i went home.

home was what i needed.  i laid down on the couch and took a really nice nap.  a perfect nap.  i needed it so badly and i felt great afterwards.  i love naps! :) and then i made dinner.  and then i packed up all my stuff for my trip home tomorrow.  basically, i filled my two laundry baskets with my three weeks worth of dirty laundry and shoes.  i loaded those and my presents into my car, as well, so all that's left is my duffle bag and computer bag and christmas dress tomorrow morning.

i talked to the parents a little bit.  they're nervous about me driving home tomorrow.  i can tell.

and now i'm watching "me and you and everyone we know," which i am really liking.  it's nearly over.  i recommend it.

and tomorrow, i go to work.  it should be a short day because they always are before holidays.  and then i'll get in the volvo and head up to my parents' house for the holidays.  like a grownup.  that's crazy.  so i'm going to try to get some proper sleep now.  good night.  more soon...

tuesday 20 december 2005 10:06pm

"said i don't know where i'm going but i can't go on like this
the thought of life without you is something i just can't live with
it's a conflict of emotion
to my heart i must be true
you told me that you need me
well i need you too
so if you come home and want me in your life
you'll find me" -- diamond rio "you'll find me"

hello, dear readers! :)  it was a pretty fun day for a tuesday, full of  lots of small fun things that make it seem good when i just stop to think about the day.  those little things make for a good day, don't you think?

i had a cookie and a big glass of milk right before i went to bed last night.  and my mom has this theory (i'm not sure where she got it or if it is at all based on something scientific) that if you eat right before bed you have crazy dreams that night.  so when i woke up this morning (with the first alarm, not the second), i woke up from a crazy drea that james denton (the guy who plays mike on "desperate housewives") was in love with me and all this stufff.  it was insane and i didn't know it was a dream when i was having it.  so weird!  i normally have dreams that are very mundane, when i remember them at all.  anyway, i went back to sleep for my 10 minutes before the second alarm and then got up and showered.  i threw on clothes that i think were actually clean and headed off to work.

work today was good.  it was the last really sort of hectic day where i had lots of stuff to get done.  but i did get all 900 copies of the st. jude newsletter done and printed.  and i also got the final brochure completed, approved, and off to the printer.  so the rest of the week (like 1.5 days) should be very relaxed.  and that's not to say that today was not relaxed.  today was actually quite nice.  first of all, the chocolate cookies were a big hit.  everyone wanted to know how to make them and i might have revealed the secret ingredient after lots and lots of badgering and threats to hold me down and tickle me until i pee my pants or reveal the "secret" ingredient.  :)  the rtc group art department really is very cool!  also, i guess it just clicked with diana today that i had actually baked all the cookies i gave her yesterday, so she marched to my desk and told me i need to open a store and that eventually i'd be able to buy the rtc group.  now she has her big idea in my head, though i didn't write it down like she wanted me to.  and then, we watched the first two episodes of (the american version of) "the office" all gathered around a computer with our little lamps off.  oh, that show is so hilarious! :)  and we had a good time watching it, even if people who came into the art department wanting some work done were kind of confused about what was going on. :)

and for lunch... well... that was also excellent! :)  we all went to z pizza for some pizza (duh), and then jenna i went to the nail salon in the same little shopping center for lunchtime pedicures! :)  hooray!  i was going to give myself one tonight anyway, so it was really great!  and the girl did a really good job and my red red toes look cute! :)  what a nice treat!

after work, i was extremely tempted to skip the gym, but i resisted and went.  i worked hard on that bike and read more of "a million little pieces."  i know, i should be done with it by now, especially since it's a really fast book, but i just don't take the time out to read it all that often.  but i'll finish it before christmas.  then i came home and spent a long time talking on the phone with katherine.  she's at home and working on arranging a small get-together (or two) so i wanted to give my input. :)  and i talked to the family a little bit, as well.  and i also talked to sarah online for awhile, which was great because now she wants to start a bakery/florist with me.  awesome! :)  and i rounded out the night watching "melinda and melinda," which was fun.  it's pretty cool how it's the same story told two different ways.

and now, well, i am going to crash.  time for me to get some rest!  good night!

monday 19 december 2005 10:07pm

"starting over again is a bit like dancing
you just need someone to lead and take it slow
so lay your head on my shoulder
let me hold you close, that's it
there you go
there you go, you're doing fine
take each day like a step, one at a time
put one foot in front of the other
and the next thing you know, that's it
there you go" -- alan jackson "there ya go"

marina: you made all those cookies?
me: yes. :)
marina: it's time for you to get married!

hahaha!  :)  yeah, cookies.  apparently, the fact that i have mastered the cookie means i should get married now.  i'm wife material, or something like that.  i'm not entirely convinced, but i have spent the past two days baking.  which is why i didn't get to updating last night.  i guess i'll just explain how it went...

yesterday (sunday) has long been scheduled as my christmas cookie day.  and after i decided on 7 recipes that i was going to make and going out ot buy all the ingredients on saturday, i was all prepared for a cookie extravaganza!  i got some sleep on saturday night and woke up sunday morning ready to get started.  or at least knowing that it was already 9:30 and i needed to get to work or i'd never finish.  so i put on my tennis shoes and got started. :)  (tennis shoes because when you're standing for 12 hours it's a million times more comfortable than bare feet.)

so there i was at 9:30 in the morning on a sunday in my pajamas and tennis shoes (looking like a crazy person, i'm sure) starting to bake.  i had all the supplies out in the kitchen and the dining room table (with the two leafs pulled out) covered in paper waiting for the baked cookies.  and i spent the entire day baking.  literally.  baking and baking and then baking some more.  after all, there were lots of cookies to be made for various people.  and so i made 6 different types of cookies: white chocolate candy cane; gingersnaps; cashew caramel; oatmeal honey; tangerine shortbread (the only variety carried over from last year's selection); and peanut butter oatmeal chocolate chip.  and i also made a huge batch of jenna's mom's fudge.  it was my first attempt at proper fudge and it turned out wonderfully!  and so at about 9pm, after baking and listening to various sports events on tv, i was done with the cooking.  success!

but there was still a lot to be done.  i put on "riding giants" and got started on the second half of my christmas cards.  ok, i wasn't sure how interesting the surf documentary would be, but it was so awesome!  i loved every second of it, and it was really entertaining!  and i want to be a big wave surfer!  (don't worry.  i won't actually be one.)  and i did eventually also get all of the cards done, which i'm stoked about.

and then it was time to package up all the cookies.  and once that was done, it was 2am!  yikes!  so i went to bed and crashed, knowing i'd get basically no sleep.

and then to round out the christmas chores, i got up early this morning.  i got cleaned up and dressed and headed out as quickly as possible.  and i arrived at the laguna niguel post office at about 10 to 8 this morning.  and i only had to wait in the queue behind 25 other people.  it took nearly half an hour and then another 15 minutes or so for the guy to get postage on all my packages.  but i got it all done and then headed off to work on what turned out to be a beautiful morning out here.

i was starving by the time i was just about to work, so i stopped really quickly for a donut and then headed to the office.  i even made it there early! :)  go me! ;)  so i put cookies on (the deserving) people's desks and got to work.  considering people seem to think this is kind of like dead week, i certainly had a lot to be doing!  and people loved the cookies, so i'm so happy about that!  and we got the second magazine to press, i have a proof of the st. jude newsletter out, and i'm mostly done with the brochure that i actually do have to do.  so i did end up working quite hard on this monday.  but it should get slower as the week continues. :)  and i'm glad about that.

for lunch, we were all hungry, so jan, melissa, marke, jenna, and i headed to wahoos for some mexican.  kids' quesadilla is so good! :)  and it was great to get out on a nice day and see natural light!

and after work, i headed straight home knowing that i had more things to accomplish tonight.  i stopped at the office to pick up a package, which turned out to be my lovely 2006 keith urban calendar!  hooray! :)  and i pre-ordered it ages ago and totally forgot i should be expecting it!  and then i went down to trader joe's really quickly to pick up another pizza crust because i loved the last one and knew they had a few different kinds.  and then i went home. :)

it's been another busy evening (though this one will surely end earlier than last night).  i made another delicious pizza.  i talked to the family for a few minutes.  i straightened the apartment, including taking out lots of trash and a ton of newspapers.  and i did most of the dishes that needed it!  and then i baked another round of cookies for work tomorrow.  it's my day to bring treats as part of an on-going potluck sort of thing we're doing for the holidays.  so why not more cookies?  a whole separate kind from what i made already.  the chocolate chocolate chip ones that have a very weird recipe that i'm technically not supposed to share with anyone (though i think i already have).  and as far as i can tell, they turned out well.  i haven't actually tried one.  actually, i didn't try most of the types of cookies i made yesterday, either.  after spending all day baking them, they weren't really that appetizing to me.  anyway, now i'm finally sitting still after lots of cleaning and another 4 dozen cookies.  the holidays are such a busy time, but in all honesty, i love it!  i love cooking for people!  i love the good spirit in everything!  it's fun!  and about that... i put up a few random photos of things during the holiday season on flickr.

and now, i need to go to sleep.  i'm going to work hard to make sure that by the time it's time for me to drive to my parents' house on thursday night i'm not tired.  it's a long drive.  i want to be awake to do it.  anyway, more tomorrow.  good night!

saturday 17 december 2005 11:35pm

"hey i could drive all night
or be right here where i am
and still be just as lost 'til you come back" -- jason aldean "lonesome usa"

greetings! :)  wow, the time just flies.  i'm not exactly sure where all the hours went and how it's possible that it's so late already.  but that means that it has been a really good saturday, not entirely spent on the couch watching college basketball games, which is sort of how i thought today might go.  good thing there are people to interfere with my non-plans! :)

so i got some serious sleep last night, which was awesome! :)  like 9 hours!  and i slept through nearly all of them!  i'm getting good at this... or something.  and i was planning on lazing around in bed for awhile but got distracted by someone im-ing me, so i came out to the couch to chat. :)  and i got to watch some basketball at the same time, so that was cool.

i eventually got cleaned up and dressed.  i made myself a bit of meal #1, which was delicious.  and i talked to my brother on the phone for awhile while also watching basketball.  oh, yeah, we're way too into it.  and what happened with louisville?  not so sure.  but anyway, that was fun.

then i headed up to costa mesa to to jen2's apartment.  and then she drove us down to balboa island in newport.  i'd never been there before, but it was really awesome!  it's a little island packed full of really cute houses and a main street with lots of little shops, cafes, and boutiques.  we walked around the shops a bit to do a little christmas shopping, and then we took a walk along the water between the houses and the private docks.  it was a really nice day out considering it was december.  jen said it looked like summer, though i say it was way too chilly to be summer! :)  but anyway, i'm for sure going to go back there and hang out because it was so rad!

then i headed home and worked on choosing cookie recipes for tomorrow's huge cookie-baking marathon.  i had to narrow down the list.  and then i made a huge, long list of all the ingredients i needed to get so that i'll be all set to go tomorrow.  a serious list.  haha!  and then i headed down to trader joe's to pick up as many of those items as i could find.  and then i headed to the grocery to get the rest (and was disappointed at how the store is so much more expensive than trader joe's).  and then back home.

dinner was awesome!  i had considered ordering pizza but instead i found pizza crust at trader joe's, so i brought that home with me.  and i made a really delicious cheese and bacon pizza!  so good!  i will definitely be making more of those in the future!

and i spent the rest of my evening on the couch watching basketball and getting started on my christmas cards.  oh, man.  i forget how long these take!  so the game i was watching is now over (stanford is so sad this year), and i am 1/3 done with the cards.  and i put on a movie because if i'm going to get through all 6 i rented last night before i head home for christmas i need to watch one now.  so i'm watching "kicking and screaming."  so far, so funny. :)  and i'll keep writing the cards.

and tomorrow, i'm thinking i'll be sleeping in a bit and then getting on with the cookies.  cookies, cookies, and more cookies!  good times!  anyway, more tomorrow.  for now, good night.

friday 16 december 2005 10:30pm

"we think about tomorrow
then it slips away, oh, yes, it does
we talk about forever
but we've only got today
and the days go by
i can feel 'em flying light a hand out the window as the cars go by
it's all we've been given so you better start living
you better start living
better start living right now" -- keith urban "days go by"

fridays are good days. :)  and every now and then, i need a friday like today.  ok, so i probably could use one at least every seventh day or so.  perhaps more. ;)  so it's been good.  and i'm needing the saturday -- probably even more now that i've successfully managed to exhaust myself lately.  so things are good!

regarding last night's sleep... wow.  i managed to get myself in bed for eight whole hours so that i could actually manage to get some proper sleep!  awesome! :)  and i did get some good rest before the alarm clock this morning.  after getting cleaned up and having a bit of breakfast, i threw on jeans and headed off to work on a sunny but chilly morning.

work today was pretty good.  i mean, it was entirely productive but that was perfectly okay and not in any way my fault.  we ended up having to wait for a lot of stuff so we didn't get the magazine out today.  it'll have to go out monday, though it's nearly 100% ready anyway.  and i found out i don't have to make another brochure before christmas, which is excellent news.  i just need to get that st. jude's stuff done and i'll be all set! :)  hooray!  and so we spent a lot of the day sitting around chatting and whatever.  bonding. :)  yes, let's call it bonding.  ;)  and i snuck out for lunch solo at z pizza.  just me and my "country weekly."  it was nice.  and this afternoon, we played our inaugural game of bingo!  yay!  we used the new set melissa got yesterday in our white elephant game.  and so we played two games, neither of which i won.  but i did get to call out the numbers for the second one.  and then it was 5 and we decided to play another game.  heather asked us if we'd really rather stay and play an extra game than just leave and we were all like of course!  know why?  because we have fun!  which is why i love working in the art department at rtc.  we were the only people left in the building later than about 2:30.  awesome!  it was really quite a good time!

after work, i headed home, but i stopped off at blockbuster hoping i might find something because, unlike when i normally go there at like midnight on a saturday, there might actually still be movies on the racks.  so anyway, there were lots and i got myself in a bit of trouble!  haha!  i picked up 8 that i'd like to watch.  i made myself put back a couple.  so i walked out of there with six films.  when am i going to watch 6 movies?  well, this weekend i guess! :)  i started with two tongiht.  i already watched "the baxter" and i'm currently watching "yes."  "the baxter" was really cute and totally enjoyable!  and "yes" is really interesting.  i feel smarter watching it.  and it's entirely in iambic pentameter, which took me a really long time to discover, i'm embarrassed to admit. :)  but anyway, i have a really mellow weekend ahead of me as i just try to make sure everything's in order for christmas, i bake, i relax, and i watch movies.  still on the list are "kicking and screaming," "riding giants," "melinda and melinda," and "me and you and everyone we know," which is quite a variety.  i'm looking forward to it!

for now, the movie is nearly done and i'm totally tired.  i'll write more tomorrow, i'm sure.  good night!

thursday 15 december 2005 10:19pm

"this golden road's been long
and sometimes i've lost my way
i've been down some darkened detours
leanin' heavy on my faith
but where the devil had me chained
Lord your love done set me free
hallelujah, God's been good to me
'cause He put me smack dab in the middle of paradise
in the heart of the city where my dreams have come alive
and everything i have, and everything i see
is just another reminder that God's been good to me" -- keith urban "God's been good to me"

life in laguna is good.  really good.  exhausting, but wonderful.  and while yes, i'm always asking for more, i'm so happy with what i do have right now.  :)  and it was a good day in the oc.  i do love it here.

first of all, i pretty much have given up getting rest of weeknights.  it has somehow become quite impossible and i'm always exhausted.  but that's because i'm having a lot of fun, doing a lot of things, and of course also working really hard.  so i'm tired.  spent.  especially by the time thursday rolls around.  so when that alarm clock went off earlier than normal for the second day in a row, i was hurting but it was not a new feeling.  so i got up and headed for the shower right away.  i got cleaned up.  i had a little breakfast.  i put on a cute outfit but proceeded to drop the mascara wand right on my red tank top so i had to change it (and it's probably permanently ruined).  and then i grabbed the brownies, sodas, white elephant gift, and change of clothes (no, one person can't really carry all those things at once but i did it anyway) and headed off to work.

work today was... well... kind of insane.  again.  or still.  whatever.  we got one magazine to press today, and we even did it with time to spare!  and i got the biggest brochure of the year to press, also because i rawk like that. :)  so that was great!  i even had time to get together an ad for the other magazine.  and then we also had our company christmas party today.  it was low key this year, which is fine.  it was a potluck (that's what the sodas and brownies were for), so of course it was a really odd meal, but everything i had was pretty delicious.  and then we did a white elephant gift exchange.  the deal is (if you don't know, like didn't) in order people open a gift or steal one from someone else, though a gift can only be stolen twice.  anyway, i brought two nerf gun toys, which went over well!  though i'm kind of bummed that those won't be sticking around the office and instead are going to someone's kids.  but anyway, the gift i opened was a bingo cage set, which was pretty cool, but that got stolen from me so i ended up with a swiss army knife that's shaped like a credit card, which is also kind of cool.  whatever. ;)  and i skipped watching "a christmas story" in the conference room because there was work to be done (and i wasn't especially interested).  and after we ate, john gave us a tour of his brand new rv, which was crazy cool!  it is nicer that most apartments or homes!  and it's huge!  and he had the keith urban cd going in there! :)

because i had accomplished so much during the hectic day, i snuck out a few minutes early and headed up to costa mesa to jen2's apartment.  it took me entirely too long between the traffic accident on 5 and the normal traffic at the end of 55.  but i made it there and met up with her, her roomie crystal, and two of their friends gary (i think -- i'm not good with names) and other jen.  the 5 of us headed to the peninsula in newport to sharkeez to meet up with their other friend steve and we had dinner there.  it's kind of like a bar that serves mexican.  the food was good, the chips were really good, and i had an excellent time just hanging out with all of them.  really fun!  i think it was exactly what i needed for tonight and i hope there are more nights like that in the future.  they're all really smart and come from a variety of places (and all now work at edwards life sciences together) and are cool but also a little dorky.  perfect!  so dinner was really cool!  and then we all walked down the peninsula a little bit to where we could stand on a bit of beach and watch the christmas boat parade.  basically, people decorate their yachts with christmas lights and they have a parade around the peninsula.  it was really quite cool and i love that i was standing on the beach at night in december in jeans and a light coat watching all these beautiful boats.  totally newport!  haha!

and now i'm back home.  i talked to the family for a bit, but i'm so exhausted.  i really just want to get to bed.  i didn't even want to get off the phone because i knew that it would mean that i had to get up from where i was lying on the couch and actually get ready for bed (that process includes writing this).  it would have been much easier to just fall asleep just where i was lying.  but dad told me to just get off the couch and get ready for bed, so i'm sitting up properly while i write this.  and now that i'm pretty much done, i'll try to get some sleep before friday -- a busy day at work and hopefully something fun in the evening, as well.  good night.

wednesday 14 december 2005 10:14pm

"slide on over here, let me feel you near
say things in my ear, make love to me sweetly
c'mon and take my hand and be my man tonight
only you can prove me right, that it's
twice as worth it
i know you've got just what i need" -- deana carter "twice as worth it"

good evening! :)  finally i had an evening where i could take care of a few things around the apartment, sit still for a few minutes, and perhaps even get a bit of proper rest.  but being busy is also fun for me and i really don't mind any of it.  so anyway, i suppose i should just get to saying what i need to say and then get to bed.

i got to bed a little later than i had anticipated last night but i slept alright.  i think i sleep better if i spend the day working hard and tiring myself out.  i guess that sounds pretty simple, but anyway, i was just thinking about it.  nevermind.  anyhow, i got a few hours of sleep last night before my alarm went off early this morning, and i had to get myself out of my warm bed and into the shower.  and it was a chilly morning!  but i got myself cleaned up and grabbed a bite to eat and i headed out bright and early.

i had to bring my car to the volvo shop (the one with the swedish owner) for service.  melissa met me there and brought me to work.  we stopped at the grocery on the way so she could pick up breakfast and i ended up finding myself some fresh pineapple, as well.  so delicious!  i spent my morning eating it while i worked.

speaking of work, there was so so so so much of it to be done today (and for the next week leading up to the holidays, as well).  from the moment i arrived until the moment i left, i was working and working hard.  magazines.  brochues.  newsletters.  ads.  all sorts of things to get done!  it's a bit insane really, but i'm just taking it one item at a time and i'm working through all of it.  and i actually got a lot of stuff taken care of today, so things are looking good, even if i know that the next week will really be quite busy even with all the hard work.  i did take a small break for lunch, though.  melissa, marke, and i went down to baja fresh for a little mexican and it was sunny enough out that we even ate outside.  we even witnessed (sort of) a car hitting in a bus in the parking lot.  good times! ;)  anyway, so work was good even if it's insanely busy and things won't be letting up any time soon.

and after work, melissa brought me back to the volvo place so i could retrieve my car.  it's all ready with new brakes and a door that functions properly!  :)  yay!  and on my way home i stopped off for sodas for tomorrow's christmas party potluck at work.  and then i came home.

it's been a quiet night around here, but i did get a lot done.  i had a delicious dinner.  i made brownies for tomorrow.  i put ribbon on all the presents i wrapped last night.  i picked up around the apartment so i can now see the floor instead of just shoes and clothes.  it's not perfect, but it's way better.  and i did dishes, too.  plus, i talked to the family for a few minutes.  so things are good around here.  i even put all the gifts by the fireplace so it's kind of christmasy around here. :)

and now i'm off to bed.  i want to get to work a bit early tomorrow so i can get some actual work done.  it's christmas party day but we have so much to do that that's really going to interfere with work.  and i need to get out of the office on time tomorrow night because i'm headed to newport for the boat parade wiht jen2 and some of her coworkers.  anyway, it's been a good night but i need rest now.  good night.  more next time...

tuesday 13 december 2005 10:41pm

"baby, let me be your safe harbor
don't let the water come
and carry you away
when your long day is over
and you can barely drag your feet
when the weight of the world
is on your shoulders
i know what you need
bring it on home to me...
you've got someone here wants
to make it all right
someone who loves you more
than life right here" -- little big town "bring it on home"

i'm late again.  it's nearly 11 and i'm so far from being ready for bed.  and i am meant to wake up early tomorrow so i can bring my car in for service.  awesome.  where does the time go?  not sure.  but it was a good time, however i spent it! :)

i got... a little sleep last night.  the problem is often that i'm not tucked in as early as i should be and then by the time i fall asleep i don't really have enough hours left to sleep before the alarm clock goes off.  but you know, i'll just catch up later or sleep when i'm dead or something.  for now, things are good even if that alarm clock continues to be killer.  so anyhow, i got up when it went off this morning and i made my way to the shower.  i remembered that i didn't have milk for cereal so i had to improvise with breakfast.  it turned into a euro breakfast of sorts with bread and juice.  it was totally good, so i don't care if it was a little weird.  i cook for one these days, so it can be weird if i want it to. :)  anyway, i threw on my england sweatshirt and headed off to work, hair still wet and a bunch of christmas cds in hand. :)

work today was good.  :)  it is insanely busy with both magazines, the brochures, and the st. judes stuff, but i'm working hard and trying to get as much done as possible in the hours that i'm there.  and i really am making progress all the time, so it's going well.  i spent all morning working and listening to christmas cds, which is fun and festive.  i have a big enough collection that there's variety so it's not too annoying.  and at lunch, i went up to the stillwater cafe for salads with jenna, melissa, cindy, and lea, and it was so nice.  and that salad was crazy good!  (and i never say that about salad.)  and then it was straight back to work and i worked away my afternoon until all of a sudden it was late and i was thinking i needed to leave.

so i left. :)  and i headed to the y, stopping just at michael's really fast because i forgot ribbon last night when i was buying wrapping supplies.  anyway, the gym.  it was good.  i am working on finishing my book and i'm nearly there.  i thought i might come home and just finish it, but i didn't.  actually, i didn't even head straight home, which i know is kind of gross because i was all sweaty, but i threw on a sweatshirt and tried not to stand too close to anyone else.  i stopped for gas.  and then i stopped at the grocery for milk and yogurt.  dairy!  ;)  anyway, then i went home.  because i needed a shower.

after getting myself cleaned up, i talked to the family on the phone for awhile while getting dinner prepared.  dad showed me how to find cool deals for vacations now that him and mom are "travel agents."  and adam and i watched tv together or something.  i think mostly he was just studying for his finals that start tomorrow while i watched the "gilmore girls" rerun.  but it was a good time! :)  and then i had my dinner: chicken parmesan and a dinner roll.  so wonderfully delicious!  :)  mmm!  it was a great decision!

and then i spent the rest of my evening wrapping christmas presents.  i cleared off the dining room table and pulled out the leafs so it was nice and big.  and now all the gifts have paper on them and just need bows.  not too bad, right? :)  christmas is fun!

and now it's late and i need to get to bed.  i have another busy day of work ahead of me tomorrow, and i'm also bringing my car in for service in the morning, which will cut into sleep time.  i wanted to take care of that before i make the long drive home next week, though.  anyway, have a great night.  more tomorrow...

monday 12 december 2005 10:47pm

"you were the song all along
and before the song dies
i should tell you i should tell you
i have always loved you
you can see it in my eyes" -- "your eyes" from rent

where the energy comes from i don't really know.  it's not from excessive amounts of sleep, that i know.  but today was non-stop and i really didn't mind it for a minute.  so i guess, bring it on!  :)

i did everything right last night so that as soon as i watched "grey's anatomy," i could crawl right into bed and get some sleep.  that way, i'd have time for like 8 hours. so i got into bed after what was such a great episode, and i just lied there.  i couldn't fall asleep for a really long time.  so i got like no sleep last night and was not so happy to be hearing the alarm clock this morning.  plus, i think i must have been in a deep sleep stage because i was really disoriented.  but i still managed to get myself to the shower to get cleaned up.  after a bit of breakfast, i headed off to work for what i knew would be a busy monday.

and you know, i was so right.  it was a crazy busy monday, with two magazines to be taking care of, as well as two huge new things arriving on my plate (and also going to the bottom of my to-do list for the day).  awesome!  really, the more stuff the better.  plus, the art department started out new monday morning status/show-and-tell meetings today.  i think they'll be really good for us, and i like design show-and-tell.  i had three pieces, though one was what was requested.  but we all already knew i tend to be a bit of an overachiever. :)  and really, i think i was the only one who remembered show-and-tell.  but they'll remember next week now that they didn't have anything today when i did, right?  right?  haha!  well we'll see anyway.  at least i feel like i was forced to find some interesting design examples for my own inspiration.  and then i was back to work and all of a sudden it was way past lunchtime, so the whole art department went down the road to san clemente pizza co for a bite to eat.  delicious!  and then i was doing all sorts of work until i realized it was 6.  but i did get a lot done, and i think i made some good contributions to the new rtecc ads we're busy developing.

so i headed off to the gym, which i really needed to do, especially since i didn't go at all last week between the sickness and the concerts.  the pool's closed for maintenance this week, so i rode the bike and read a bit of my book.  it was a good workout, so i'm pleased.

then i headed home and got cleaned up really quickly.  i was feeling energized still, so i decided tonight would be a perfectly good time for me to take care of the rest of my christmas shopping and other little errands and whatever.  i made a list of the places i'd go (in order) and what i needed to get at each of them and then i headed out.  i needed a few things at costco, including movie tickets because i know there are lots of movies that i'll be wanting to see in the near future. :)  the next stop was a sort of risky one: toys 'r' us!  at christmastime, i was scared it'd be too crazy, too messy, and/or too empty, but it was pretty late on a monday night and i figured it was now or never.  and i found what i was looking for and more, so i'm happy!  and it wasn't too nuts.  and then it was target.  oh, target really is trouble.  new underwear, a christmas cd, christmas presents, cookie cutters.  yeah. :)  and the final stop was michael's for wrapping and packaging things.  and when i got in line with my cart overflowing old man in front of me just looked at my cart, looked at me, and laughed.  then we had a little chat about what i was buying and him and his wife were so adorable! :)

anyway, now that i am pretty much done buying christmas things for this year, i'm back home.  and the apartment got no cleaner, which is a little bad because they're doing mold inspections in all the apartments tomorrow.  oh, well.  i won't be home to face judgment on my messiness from the inspectors. :)  and it's about time that i try to get some sleep.  good night, all! :)

oh!  and i got tickets for a bunch of coworkers and me to see "2 pianos 4 hands" next month, which is super-duper-exciting! :)  yay for shows at the laguna playhouse that are as cheap as movies! :)

sunday 11 december 2005 9:40pm

"i'm longing so to hold you
now i'd die for one more day
'cause there's something i should have told you
yes, there's something i should have told you
when i looked into your eyes" -- "your eyes" from rent

so i'm working on wrapping up ther weekend.  i accomplished... well... almost nothing but i had a rally nice time so i suppose it doesn't really matter all that much that the apartment is still a mess, my toes need a pedicure, and i have pretty much no groceries. :)

so i got some sleep last night after melissa's party, which was nice.  i did set an alarm to make sure i got up this morning, but i ended up waking up before it anyway so it was fine.  and when i did get up, i went to get the newspaper, and then i brought it back to bed with me. :)  it's warm there, you know!  so i sat in bed reading bits and pieces of it, i like do pretty much each sunday morning.  and eventually, i got myself out of bed and cleaned up and ready for my day.

i headed up to irvine to the spectrum.  i had a couple little things to take care of there, and then i met up with jen.  we got movie tickets and then went to the cheesecake factory for brunch.  i'd never actually had anything breakfast related there before, but i did enjoy the french toast.  also, this is a little bit ridiculous so if you're somewhere cold you might not want to read this part... we ate outside. :)  it was perfectly warm.  yeah, in december we're still eating outside.  just so you know.  so anyway, it had been awhile since we'd hung out, so we had plenty of catching up to do! :)

and then!  we went to see "rent!  rent!  rent!  rent!  rent!" :)  yay!  jen wanted to see it and i was all about seeing it a second time (even though there are still a list of movies i haven't seen that i want to see)! :)  so that was great, and jen also really liked it!  plus, it was cool because that theatre is super nice.  love that! :)  then i headed home and jen was off to start her christmas shopping.

i once again ended up on the phone with my brother for awhile watching college basketball, though for a considerably shorter period of time than yesterday. :)  just so you know.  so i hung out here watching that.  i made myself a little dinner, which was tasty, and i ate it on the couch while watching "clueless" because it was on tv i love it so i figured i might as well. :)  i started to clean up the apartment a bit, but i didn't get very far. :)  a week full of partying and concerts and all that means that there are clothes everywhere, shoes everywhere, magazines everywhere, purses everywhere! :)  haha!  it really is a disaster, but i'll get to it one of these days! ;)  and then i went on a little recipe hunt, because i have a collection of my own and some magazines with more.  i'm trying to gather just the right collection, but i have way too many now.  not sure what to do about it, but i'll figure something out. ;)

and now i'm chillin with the country music on the tv and the computer on my lap.  in a few moments, i'll watch tonight's episode of "grey's anatomy," and then i'll be off to bed before another week of work.  it should be crazy busy with the magazines going out, but at least it means i'm doing a lot all day so the time will fly by!  so for now, good night.  more next time...

saturday 10 december 2005 11:24pm

"if you get to california with the sun and the golden sand
and you're standing on the edge of the ocean
wishing someone would hold your hand...
call when you get to me" -- leeann womack "when you get to me"

you know what's great?  sleeping in really late because i'm so cozy in bed with my electric blanket that's on high, all the blankets i love, and my fish. ;)  anyway, i needed the sleep and i did a decent job of actually getting it!  i'm feeling pretty healthy finally.  and i didn't have any plans for the morning so spending it in bed sleeping was wonderful! :)  i slept even later than i had thought i could!

of course, i did eventually wake up and move myself all the way from bed to the couch, where i could watch basketball on like 5 different channels, one of which was in high def (at least part of the day)!  and i ended up on the phone with my brother for... well... a couple hours.  we watched various basketball games and chatted and whatever.  it's like our long-distance version of just hanging out.  pretty much, it's how we would have spent the day if we actually still lived in the same house still.  except now that we don't, we have to get the phones involved.  and it was a lot of fun!  with so many different games on, we could always find something interesting to watch, though i did have more channels to chose from than he did.  anyway, so i hung out with adam for awhile. :)

i eventually had to get myself cleaned up and dressed and, you know, do something other than sit on the couch watching basketball. ;)  haha!  so i did get cleaned up and dressed and all pretty!

i headed out for a night of fun.  before i headed up to melissa's, i stopped at the mall to pick up something really quick.  of course it was a bit crazy around there, but whatever.  nothing shocking.  what i did find to be really odd, however, is that the temp workers for the holidays are oc moms who i guess get bored or something and think a little stint in retail would be entertaining, especially if they do it with their friends or whatever.  so i'm in crate and barrel and the ladies are a bit incompetent and slow and chatty, though very friendly.  it was really weird!

anyway, i got what i needed and headed up to orange to melissa's house for a christmas party. :)  christmas parties are fun!  of course i'm that girl who even though i was intentionally like 25 minutes late i was still really early.  but whatever.  and soon more people arrived, some of whom i actually know, and i spent the evening eating and chatting and just hanging out with everyone.  and though i had been a bit nervous about not knowing most of the guests, it turned out just fine and i had a nice time! :)

and now i'm back home and back on the couch.  but just for a bit.  i'll watch "snl" until i fall asleep (i have been awake 12 hours now and am due to get more sleep).  i have fun plans for tomorrow, as well, so it should be quite a good weekend all around.  for now, good night.  more tomorrow...

saturday 10 december 2005 12:25am

"some day i'm gonna drive me a faster car
park in front of a house with a bigger yard
i'm gonna break my back, i'm gonna bust my tail
taking everything another notch upscale
i won't fail
but i'll never, ever do better than you
when it comes to your love, baby
i've already done the best i can do
it's so true
i'll never, ever do better than you" -- george canyon "i'll never do better than you"

i suppose that being completely and totally exhausted by friday night can be a very good thing.  it means that i had a really great, exciting week!  and i love that! :)  so here i am, sitting on my couch in the middle of the night totally spent and just about ready to crash, as soon as i get this updated.  and so i've had an awesome week and i'm looking forward to a fun weekend, as well.

i actually slept really well last night.  it was my last night on the cold medicine, so i'm sure that had something to do with the fact that i crashed nice and early and mostly slept all the way through the night until the alarm clock this morning.  this is great news! :)  so anyway, i got up with the alarm, like always.  i got cleaned up, threw on jeans, put my wet hair up, and headed off to work.  on the way there, i stopped for a donut and chocolate milk for breakfast since i didn't have much to eat in my apartment.

so i ate my tasty breakfast while checking emails and getting started on my day of work at my desk.  the magazines are now in full production, meaning i'm trying to keep up with the figures and the layout and everything else.  and amazingly, so far so good!  i'm in a good place, even after all the distractions of a friday at work.  and the distractions were numerous. ;)  first there was the art department lunch outing to super bowl!  delicious, as usual! :)  and then there was lots of chit-chat.  and then there was jonathan, shannon's grandson, running around the office.  he's normally very shy and just does his own thing, but today he was all wound up and wanted to play.  so we played!  he is so cute i couldn't resist!  so cute! :)

and after work, i headed home feeling fine but with no real plans for my evening.  i had a bit of dinner, and i talked to the parents on the phone for a bit.  i read a bit.  i watched "what i like about you."  i caught up on celebrity gossip.  oh, my matty.  my celebrity boyfriend matt damon knocked up his woman and then married her in city hall today.  lame!  ;)  when he marries me, we will have a proper wedding and ben will be present and i will not be pregnant.  we're going to do it right!

and then, despite the disappointing news of the day, i went and saw the new matt damon movie, "syriana."  wow.  if it's possible, i feel smarter and dumber now.  i feel smarter because it's a really smart movie.  i feel dumber because i didn't understand all of it.  i spent a lot of the movie completely confused and trying to figure everything out and a lot of it came together eventually, but i feel like i still missed some stuff.  and it's a good movie, don't get me wrong.  it just isn't like a really fun one.  it's serious.  which i knew and that's fine.  but i'm just saying that you have to be in the right mood.  i think it's worth seeing, but i can't just recommend it to whoever.  anyway, a good matt movie. :)

and now i'm just watching "conan."  good times!  but i do need to get to bed.  good night...

thursday 8 december 2005 9:20pm

"you showed me what it means to love someone forever
you're the dream in my heart
it's always been there
you're the window to my soul
i live, i die, i'm born, i'm sanctified
in your love, in your love
i'm home, i'm free, i've found everything i need
in your love, in your love" -- rhett akins "in your love"

today was good, and though i wasn't' sure that it was actually possible i'm even more tired.  i just keep getting more and more tired.  which is why i'm writing earlier tonight and hoping that i'll get to bed earlier tonight.  for some sleep.  see, i've just partied to hard this week! ;)

so as you likely know, i was up late again last night because i was at the keith urban concert!  did i already mention how awesome that guy is and how much i loved his shows? ;)  anyhow, so i didn't get a whole lot of sleep last night between being up late, not really being able to fall asleep, and not really being able to stay asleep.  and that stupid alarm!  it woke me up again.  so i got up and got clean, like i do.  i found a little breakfast.  and it was seriously little because i had about half a bowl of cereal because i was polishing off the box.  i put on my cute new pink keith urban t-shirt and headed off to work.

work was good, and i got things started with a croissant since my breakfast at home was small and they were just out in the kitchen at work.  anyway, i didn't have lots of time to sit around eating, so i got straight to work.  there was a ton of work to be done with this month's magazines right on top of one another.  figures.  layout.  other random little tasks.  just lots and lots of work.  and none of it is particularly bad or anything, but it is just time-consuming.  anyway, i even had lunch at my desk while working, despite the fact that i had planned on reading the magazine i brought with me while eating.  no breaks today.  just work.  but by the end of the day, i had gotten a lot done and was ready to head home.

when i got home, i realized just how tired i really was!  i flipped on one of the four college basketball games on tonight and plopped onto the couch.  before long, my eyelids were getting really heavy.  i knew i really shouldn't crash, though, so i had to get up and walk around.  i made myself dinner.  i talked to dad on the phone for awhile.  i read through a stack of catalogues that have been waiting for me.  and then i watched a bit more tv.  "the oc" and "everwood."  i love "everwood."  i think more than any other season of it, even it continues to break my heart week after week.  and it's not even that it's really sad but more that it's sad during but things turn out ok.  but anyway, i love it.  and soon, i'm off to bed early. :)  for sleep!

also, one more thing about today.  jan told me about pandora.com.  this site is awesome!  basically, you can enter artists and songs that you like and it'll create a custom streaming radio station for you based on what you tell it you like.  some of the music is from the artists you enter and some is other stuff that is similar.  i listened to my custom station at work today all day long, and it was so great!  in fact, that's where i heard this rhett akins song that i decided i really like, even if the words aren't so unique.  it was still beautiful.

ok, so time for bed.  good night...

wednesday 7 december 2005 11:47pm

"these are the days we will remember
so take 'em by the hand, they're yours and mine
take 'em by the hand and live your life
take 'em by the hand, don't let 'em all fly by
c'mon, c'mon now
oh, days go by
yeah, just like a hand out the window wavin' in the wind as the cars go by
days go by" -- keith urban "these are the days"

wow!  another wonderful day in the life of me!  this is awesome and i'm becoming quite spoiled (though i may have already been spoiled, but you know what i mean). ;)  thursday will never measure up, but that's alright.  today was a good one, and that's what this is all about. :)

so of course i got like no sleep last night because i got home so late and then i was still so hyped up from the show that i couldn't really fall asleep.  i did, eventually, of course, but i still didn't leave myself a whole lot of hours between that time and when the alarm goes off.  i did get up with the alarm, though.  i got cleaned up and had a little breakfast.  i picked out a cute outfit to wear and then i headed out, stopping only for gas on the way to work.  actually, that turned out to be kind of long stop because the computer was messed up, but it did work eventually.

anyway, i eventually got to work.  work today was... um... out of control, really.  the morning was good and i got a lot fo stuff done for the magazines, which i start laying out tomorrow.  so things were looking up, except for the part where john came in (about 20 minutes after he had come into the art department for a chat and in a very good mood) and wanted to make sure everyone's areas were clean, including anything under the desks.  um, ok.  and he went through the whole office making sure everyone cleaned up their stuff.  anyway, for lunch, marke, jenna, jan, and i tried to go to z pizza but there were no tables there so we went to quiznos instead.  i actually hadn't ever been there before because i don't particularly love sandwiches but i had a pretty good chicken-bacon-alfredo sandwich.  and after lunch as i was getting back to work and we were about to have a magazine meeting, john came in yet again to have a chat of sorts.  2 hours later (john wasn't there the whole time but it spiraled into a conversation about various things), i was so out of the work rhythm that i was pretty much useless.  i tried to take care of little stuff the rest of the day, and then i left when my time was up.

then i headed to the arrowhead pond for another night with my boyfriend keith urban! :)  hooray!  it took me longer than i wanted it to to get there, but i was definitely there long before the start of the show, which was my actual goal.  i found myself a little early christmas present at the souvenir stand, found a little dinner, and found my seat.  dead center but quite far from the stage.  but i was just happy to be there.  right?  kidding!  right!  :)  i love keith!  so anyway, the show was once again thoroughly awesome!!!  i got to see all of deana carter's set, which was good once again, if also pretty much exactly the same as last night.  somehow, it was much better when i didn't miss the first 2.5 songs.  how the set is arranged really does make a big difference!  and then it was keith!  so awesome!  the man can play the hell out of the guitar!  and sing!  and he has beautiful hair (among other things! ;))!  my seat was bad enough that i was surrounded by people who mostly weren't interested in standing or dancing or singing along, which is kind of a bummer but i just ignored them. :)  no, i will not sit down, sir.  yes, this is a concert and people dance and sing and whatever at concerts.  and keith did a few songs on a stage that was about 5'x5' at the back of the arena (right in front of me!) and he got to that stage by taking a sort of trapeze-like device over the crowd (perhaps about 2 feet out of reach) to it.  awesome!  and i got some good up-close time!  haha!  anyway, i once again had an amazing time rocking out with keith urban! :)

and now i'm home and trying to once again get to bed soon.  i'm tired (i can feel that cold medicine kicking in as i am now really starting to fall asleep as i type), and i need some rest.  good night and sweet dreams of keith! ;)

wednesday 7 december 2005 12:20am

"my grandma was a wise old soul
took me by the hand no long ago
said, 'son, what's your hurry, boy, slow it down
taste the wild honey, listen to the sound
of the wind that's blowing through the trees
rivers flowing to the sea
yeah, they're all heading home just like you and me
life's for living, child, can't you see?'
these are the days we will remember
these are the times that won't come again
the highest of flames become an ember
and you gotta live 'em while you can" -- keith urban "these are the days"

it's late, i'm tired and still sick, my voice is hoarse, my hands are sore, i am sweaty and need a shower, and i'm the happiest girl alive! :)  today was so great!  however, i'm going to try to make this quick because i really do need to get to bed soon if i'm going to make it through tomorrow.

ok, so i actually got some serious rest last night.  i got tucked into bed nice and early and after reading a bit of my book i crashed.  and i did end up getting like 8 hours of sleep!  so yay!  :)  i need that if i'm going to get rid of this cold.  but anyway, i got up with the alarm and got cleaned up and dressed and grabbed a quick breakfast.  and i was running out the door like 3 minutes late but in pretty good shape. :)

work today was good.  i got home good stuff done, but there was also that whole art department chatting about "design" that we love and other nonsense. ;)  plus, today was picture day at work!  i thought i left those behind in high school, but not so.  haha!  we all had our photos taken (jan took them) for the website or something.  mine's... well... it's better than my passport photo but not as good as my favorite photos of myself.  at least i know jan will photoshop that thing to death! :)  yay for photoshop!

and for lunch, jenna, jan, melissa, and i went out for a special double-birthday lunch because today (now yesterday, i suppose) is jenna's birthday and sunday was melissa's birthday.  we needed to celebrate!  so we all went and had a really nice lunch!  and by chicken parmesan sandwich was so so so delicious!  plus, the waiter brought us two birthday cakes, which were like molten chocolate cakes with ice cream on top, and molten chocolate cake is pretty much the best food ever created!  it was so delicious! :)

i snuck out of work a few minutes early, got in the volvo, and started driving.  and 2.5 hours and 70 miles later, i was in universal city.  i paid a fortune for my premium parking (still not sure exactly how worth it it was but whatever) because i was already like 15 minutes late for my show, and i found a place in the huge garage and headed into gibson amphitheatre (formerly universal amphitheatre) for an event i've been looking forward to forever!  keith urban live!  hooray!  deana carter opened, so she was on stage by the time i got inside, but i did get to hear several songs from her, which was really fun!  i don't think i'd ever seen her live before and she was pretty good.  :)  plus, she did a lot of her older (and more successful) stuff, so i knew all the music!

and then the main event, my boyfriend keith urban!  aaahhh!!!  i don't even know what to write besides just screaming!  i'm still screaming about it it was so great!  the tickets were great (even if i was sitting next to the only people in the whole building who couldn't even muster up a head-bob with the music)!  and keith was... spectacular!  he did all the great songs, and he did them all so well!  highlights were him singing "you look good in my shirt" lying down on stage with a girl he pulled from the audience, the extra verse (this song should never be done without the extra verse, really) to "you'll think of me," and keith playing the piano during "tonight i wanna cry."  but really, it was all amazing!  oh, and the celeb sighting was james denton, who was like 10 feet from me when some girls asked to take a photo with him (he let them).  anyway, what an awesome show!  good thing i get round two tomorrow night!

so i must get some sleep before more keith!  good night! :)

monday 5 december 2005 8:27pm

"watchin' movies all day with you
wasn't on my list of things to do
but we laid on that couch
we never left the house
it was time well wasted
and there's no way i'd trade a few more things that i could've crossed off my list
for a day i'll never forget
no i didn't get a thing done
but i sure soaked up every minute of the memory we were makin'
and i count it all as time well wasted" -- brad paisley "time well wasted"

greetings from an hour much earlier than when i normally write! :)  but i must say that i'm glad to be writing to early in my evening, as it will definitely help in my efforts to get some serious rest tonight.  so monday...

i had the worse time falling asleep last night, which makes no sense at all because i was totally drugged on the tylenol nighttime, which normally knocks me right out, but whatever.  and then you know how you just get more and more frustrated by the fact that you're not asleep which makes it even harder to actually just fall asleep?  well that is what i was doing and it wasn't fun.  but of course, i did eventually fall asleep because i was really knocked out when the alarm clock woke me up.  but anyway, i got up this morning, got clean, threw on jeans, a sweatshirt, and sandals, had a little breakfast, and headed out.

i was the first one in the office this morning (meaning the first on in the art department), and it was very quiet.  it did not take very long, however, because i had a very long to-do list for today and i was working away trying to make it shrink.  melissa was out sick and marke was only in for a few hours because he's taking finals this week, so i mostly had the room to myself, which means that i was playing lots of good music. :)  and i love that!  and i think i really do work harder and longer and better that way!  so i got to cross off lots of items on my list, even by thte time that i headed out to find lunch.

i just went down the street to baja fresh so pick up food to bring back to my desk.  of course, when i'm totally not feeling up to it or social at all, i ran into john, cindy, anna, aaron, and john eating there so i had to say hi and all of that when really i just wanted food to go.  but i did get my food to go and ate it at my desk while i worked.  at least it was delicious! :)

and the afternoon was filled with more work and more music, which was fine.  i feel like i did actually accomplish quite a lot!  i'm pretty pleased with today!  and right around 5, jan and jenna headed into the art department room for a chat and i somehow ended up being at work until 6, which is pretty late for me.  but it was fun.

and after work, i just headed home.  i'm not up to a whole lot because i'm still feeling pretty sicky and i'm trying to take it easy.  which gets me around to why i'm writing so early.  i need to go to bed so i can rest so i can get better because i don' like being sick and i don't like the drugs and all that.  plus, i have two big nights coming up!  keith urban and more keith urban!  so anyway, tonight is about resting.  i did, however, find a little time to talk to the parents and brother. :)

so anyway, now that i'm done updating for tonight, i'm going to read more of my book and then i'll crash early.  :)  good night!

sunday 4 december 2005 10:37pm

"and just to show how much i really miss you
every light in the house is on
the backyard's bright as the crack of dawn
the front walk looks like runway lights
it's kinda like noon in the dead of night
every light in the house is on
just in case you ever do get tired of being gone" -- trace adkins "every light in the house"

first of all, i'll just wish a happy birthday to josh!  it's not day, not tomorrow, in case you were confused like i was. ;)  and so besides my brief birthday chat online with josh, here's today...

i got some pretty good rest last night, thanks in large part to the cold medicine, i am sure.  and i needed it, so i do not feel bad about drugging myself at all. :)  and in getting that rest, i slept late.  but that's what sundays are for, right?  i mean, i didn't really have much planned for today, so that seems like a totally good use of my time.  i need rest.  i am still sicky.

i eventually crawled out of bed just long enough to retrieve the newspaper from the doorstep, and then i brought it back to bed with me.  and i spent what was left of the morning hours in bed (it's warm and cozy there!) reading the newspaper and going through the ads and all those fun things.  so great!

eventually, i made my way out of bed and all the way to the couch. :)  i found a little lunch.  and i settled in for the denver-kansas city football game.  seemed like a good idea to see what my chiefs could do against a good denver team, and it turns out that they proved to be quite a good team! :)  they beat denver in a good one!

then i made my little outing for the day.  i went to target.  it was later than i might normally go on a sunday so i thought it might be a little less crowded, but i was so wrong.  oh, well.  i wasn't in any hurry, so i just took my time and found the things i needed.  highlights from the trip are the fresh wreath that's now hanging above my fireplace and making this apartment smell like christmas, a few small gifts, a stocking, more drugs, and kleenex. :) good times! ;) haha!

and then i came back home and hung out on the couch reading a book for a bit.  i did get distracted from that, however, when i was mid-dinner and the parents called and i ended up watching the gonzaga-washington basketball game.  and two hours later, i was glad i got to see it because it was a great one with lots of running and crazy scoring and it came down to the last seconds and washington pulled out the upset!  so much fun!  plus, i found time during the game to give myself a nice sunday night, christmas red manicure.

and now, i'm watching "desperate housewives" and "grey's anatomy," both of which are so excellent! :)  i know i've watched a lot of tv this weekend but it's a part of my recovery. :)

anyway, more tomorrow.  for now, good night!

saturday 3 december 2005 11:07pm

"some day she wants a big ol' ring
with a big ol' rock that shines
and a big ol' walk-in closet
with shoes of every kind
yeah, some day she wants a big ol' boat
she can lay around gettin' a tan
but right now all she wants is a man
with a big ol' heart
who can love her like nobody can
big ol' kisses that go on and on
and never end
wiht a big ol' smile
he'll kill her world with laughter" -- joe nichols "size matters"

i'm not going to like.  basically, i did nothing today.  and i'm going to attempt to write about it, but i don't know how exciting it'll turn out.  seriously, i didn't stray very far from the couch.

so i crashed out pretty early last night feeling extremely tired and not totally healthy.  i figured that a good night's sleep would probably do me a wealth of good so i was going to give it a shot.  and really, i did get some good sleep, or at least for a long time.  i needed to just be lying there all cuddled up in the the covers and the electric blanket (with the fish) and get some serious rest.  so i didn't get up for about 11 hours.  great! :)  except one thing... that cold i thought might be coming on over the past couple days officially came on.  i could not deny it any longer.  so when i did get up i popped a couple tylenol cold pills and found some orange juice.  it's a good thing i keep lots of naked juice (best orange juice ever) in my apartment! :)  so i had a little breakfast and lots of juice and moved from the bed to the couch.

i'm not exactly sure how it happened or where all the hours went, but i ended up spending my entire day on the couch pretty much.  and it wasn't painful or boring at all.  i actually enjoyed myself immensely.  i spent all day... are you ready for this?... watching college basketball game after college basketball game, and it was so great!  i believe i watched significant portions (meaning at least half but mostly whole) of five games.  and every single one of them was close and came down to the very end to determine the winner.  it doesn't get a whole lot better than that!  and all of a sudden i looked at the clock and it was many, many hours after i had sat down.  but with the drugs and me hardly moving, i was feeling pretty good!

i strung christmas lights outside my apartment on my landing and stairs and on my little deck.  :)  yay!  now no one can say i didn't get into the holiday spirit or whatever.  no, i don't have a tree, but i do have lights! :)

and i returned to the couch.  i talked to the parents a bit.  i talked to sarah and annahita and kath online.  and i did more of nothing.  there was a stack of catalogues calling my name, so i went through those.  i watched the opry (i'm getting more and more hooked on that, which makes me feel like i'm either getting really old or just getting better at appreciating country music) because one of my favorite unknown artists is shannon brown and she was performing a couple songs!  so exciting!  plus, joe nichols and trace adkins were also great!  and then i watched the academy of country music 40th anniversary special, which had some really cool performances and special awards.  i <3 country music!

and now, i'm just about ready to turn on "snl," pop some tylenol cold nighttime, and crawl back into bed for some more rest.  can't stay sick like this!  good night!

friday 2 december 2005 9:25pm

"one day he'll wake up
and realize the terrible truth
he'll see that he had it all
when he had you" -- gary allan "what kind of fool"

today.  was.  great. :)  seriously just wonderful!  and now i'm completely and totally exhausted and am about to crash as soon as i get this stuff written here.  here it is...

i slept in a little bit, which was great, especially on a gloomy sort of day.  plus, who really wants to leave a cozy bed?  but i did eventually get up and into the shower.  i got cleaned up and dressed.  i even had to break out the jacket and umbrella with the threat of rain looming.  and after a bit to eat and checking email and those sorts of regular morning things, i headed out.

i got into the volvo, drove down to the gas station to fill it up, and then headed out for real.  i headed up the highway toward santa monica, one of my favorite places to just wander and shop and hang out and whatever.  and i really hadn't been there in quite some time, so it seemed like a good chance to go.  anyway, from my apartment to santa monica it's just about 65 miles.  and it took me just about 65 minutes to get there.  that is amazing!  it will probably never ever happen again ever.  but for this morning, i took it and went! :)  anyway, i had a good reason to go all the way up there on a cloudy, drizzly december morning.

i met up with my dear friend chris and his buddy pat.  chris is out here right now for a couple days (he's actually headed back to midland, mi, tomorrow morning) for a job interview.  pat and chris know each other because they went to the same college in michigan.  pat now lives out here in hermosa.  and chris graduates from college next weekend, and then he'll need to become employed, possibly out here in cali. :)  ok, so now that you know who these people are...

we met up at the promenade for some shopping.  the shopping was their idea.  seriously! :)  awesome!  so we did a lot of shopping! :)  those boys can shop and they definitely did.  i mean, they'd probably wear me out before i could wear them out, so obviously they found lots of stuff to buy (apparently the shopping in michigan isn't quite as good as it is in la), and i also found a really cute skirt for myself and a couple christmas presents for other people, as well.  and we just had a quick lunch in the food court in the mall there, but it was tasty.  and after lots of walking and shopping and catching up with each other, we parted ways yet again.  i made it clear i don't want to go another year and a half without seeing him again, though!  and the drive home was crazy long, taking me more than twice as long as the drive there.  lame.

but i did finally arrive back home again.  somehow, i ended up talking to chris on the phone for awhile.  and i am just so spent that i wanted a quiet night around the apartment so i made a quick pizza dinner and finally got around to reading the sexiest men issue of "people" that's been sitting around for awhile.  that was fun! :)  haha!  plus, i caught up with liz online (she's crazy busy with law school finals) and kath on the phone (before she headed out to her big charity ball with a blind date).  and of course, i talked to parents.  seems they bought the christmas tree without me this year (there was no other choice) and didn't get it at notre dame with the australian men from oregon.  so sad, but i guess it was only worth the extra money to get it at notre dame if i was going to be there admiring the tree guys!  hopefully the parents did a good job picking!  normally, that's my job!

and now... now it's time for me to get right back into bed.  :)  i love friday!  good night!  more tomorrow...

thursday 1 december 2005 11:19pm

chris is in town from michigan for a couple days!  :)

thursday 1 december 2005 10:24pm

"miss me, baby
when you hear our favorite song
miss me, baby
and when you start to sing along
think about all the times that we danced
in moonlight to it all night long
then miss me, baby
and want me, honey
like you did the night you told me that you love me" -- chris cagle "miss me baby"

good evening. :)  things are well out here.  today was good!  even if i guess i didn't do a whole lot, it was still really good and probably exactly what i needed today to be.  so now here i am, it's getting kind of late and i figure that i should get on with writing about my day.  i can't not give you something to read, right? ;)

i slept alright and once again with that great electric blanket!  that was such a good christmas gift last year! :)  my brother rawks!  anyway, i hesitantly got out of bed when that alarm clock went off and hopped into the shower.  i had some breakfast (with juice!  yay!) while checking email and whatever.  and i got dressed and headed off to work.

work today was good.  i really got to working on those magazine figures, and i actually made some really serious progress!  excellent!  i needed to get that stuff under way!  of course, there was the regular morning chit-chat about celebrity gossip, as well, which is always fun! :) 

at lunchtime, i headed out solo.  my first stop was the albertson's just up the road.  i only needed one item: the issue of "use weekly" that hit newsstands today!  of course, it the one featuring the nick-jessica break-up.  yes, i know it's trashy and bad but i couldn't really resist reading it. :)  and the 30ish-year-old man in line behind me wanted to know the scoop.  haha!  oh, it's so silly that we care at all, but i find it entertaining.  anyway, my next stop actually involved food. :)  i went over to super bowl for a chicken teriyaki bowl, which i brought back to the office.  it was pretty tasty! :)

and then there was more work through the afternoon.  more figures for the magazines.  plus, we made an afternoon run to goodies for frozen yogurt and somehow between coupons and frequent buyer cards the total for all three fro-yos was $2.45.  we're not sure how it happened but we weren't about to argue with anyone! :)  and it was delicious!  i tried a new flavor today: chocolate mint.  pretty good!

after work, i headed home for an evening around the apartment.  i talked to both katherine and sarah for quite a while, actually.  they're entirely too far away from here.  our friendships depend on phone calls and instant messages, and when i have an evening to sort of just devote to that it makes things just seem better.  plus, i talked to the family a lot, too, which is always a good time.  adam's reading me shakespeare, mom's watching food network, and dad and i talked basketball and how i don't know if i'm still capable of doing that sort of freelance web work that i used to do.  i also had a little dinner tonight and watched a little basketball and "the o.c."  also, i'm looking forward to letterman tonight because he has oprah on after two years of begging her to appear on his show.  sarah said it was pretty good! :)

so i'm off to watch a bit more tv, crawl into bed, and then crash eventually.  tomorrow should be... interesting. :)  good night!

wednesday 30 november 2005 10:20pm

"hey, whatcha doin' tonight
what about if i stop by
maybe watch a little movie, make a little memory
baby, wouldn't that be nice
if i make you and you make me
oh, just a little less lonely" -- jace everett "a little less lonely"

it was kind of just one of those days, i guess.  i mean, it was a perfectly fine wednesday but it wasn't perfect.  but in the end, i'm still here and things are still ok and who knows what might happen tomorrow.  so here's today...

i got a bit of sleep before yet again that alarm clock woke me up and forced me to leave my cozy bed and the warm electric blanket that i'm loving.  it's too  cold here.  is that ridiculous?  yes, yes it is.  but actually the nights are not getting as cold has they had been, so that's good. :)  50s are ok, but 40s are not.  anyway, so i got out of bed and into the shower.  i had cereal for breakfast and polished off the end of the milk, which was the last beverage i had here, with the exception of one bottle of water and whatever water is in the brita pitcher.  i got dressed and headed off to work.

oh, work.  at least it has been quite entertaining lately!  we're kind of between magazines so we have a little extra time to just chat or mess around online or do whatever it is that we do all day. ;)  i mean, i had actual work to take care of and i did actually take care of it, but i did also spend time just sort of hanging out with everyone.  you can actually learn a lot that way! :)  and i also found time to read some of the "communication arts" design annual that's been on my desk for like a week now.  there's some interesting stuff in there and i know i get a lot out of reading it so i figure it's a good way to spend a few down minutes while i am there.  and for lunch, we all finished off that pizza from monday's outing to z pizza.  still tasty, even as a leftover! :)

after work (i somehow ended up there quite late just talking about whatever with whoever was around), i headed for the y.  i really wanted to just go home and watch basketball but i knew that november is entirely too early in the season to get into the habit of rearranging my life around basketball.  if it's that bad now, how bad will it be come march, right?!?  so anyway, i talked myself out of just going home and instead went to the y.  i had a really great swim, which i totally needed.  and then i headed home for basketball. :)

so there was great basketball on tonight! :)  the season's already awesome and it hasn't even really gotten started yet, so i'm totally stoked! :)  so i watched that and talked to the parents and tried to scrape together some sort of dinner, despite having pretty much no food whatsoever.  and i talked to sarah a bit, as well.

i also made a little trip out of the apartment tonight.  i desperately needed to get to the drug store and the grocery store.  desperately.  :)  so i made a trip just across the street.  somehow, i managed to pick up more than i planned, but i think that's ok. :)  i found christmas lights for the apartment, so those will go up soon!  and i found some groceries to keep me going.  and i got an advent calendar.  mom usually gets those for me but she didn't so i picked one up since it starts tomorrow! :)  yay for cheap chocolate that somehow always tastes so good!

and i think now it's time for bed.  good night.

tuesday 29 november 2005 11:03pm

"i think the sun is finally rising
it's burning down because i miss you
i'm gonna walk right through the fires
'cause all i wanna do is kiss you
rain falls, won't wash this away
i'll build a stone wall to make you stay
you make me feel like a river
like a water overflow
wanna shout it out from the mountain
wanna sing it on the radio
i'll sell my soul like a sinner
if it means you'll never go" -- kasey chambers "like a river"

somehow i fear that this entry might make it sound like i didn't do anything today, when in actuality i feel like i did a lot.  none of it was particularly amazing or incredible or anything like that but it was still a pretty good tuesday and so i'm pleased with my day, no matter how mundane it might sound. :)  here goes... aren't you excited?!? ;)

last night before tucking myself into bed, i broke out the electric blanket.  the apartment has been a bit chilly at night and that seemed like a good way to keep myself cozy and warm while i slept. :)  and it definitely was and i slept alright.  and it felt too early when the alarm clock went off, but it always does.  but i got up anyway and headed for the shower.  i got cleaned up.  i had some cereal for breakfast, which doesn't help with me being cold at all.  i got dressed and packed up my new (new meaning i brought my old belmont volleyball bag to laguna with me last weekend) gym bag and headed off to work.

work was pretty good again today.  i'm just working on a few small projects and also the magazines are quickly approaching and part of my job is to have all the figures done by the time we're meant to start laying out the magazine so i'm working on that, as well.  and i did get a good amount of stuff done, and we had a magazine meeting so i know what sections i'll be responsible for this month -- a few more than usual. :)  i stayed in for lunch because i had those leftovers from yesterday's outing to z pizza, and i took the chance to read an issue of "country weekly" that has been waiting for me for awhile now.  by the end of the day, i was getting a little restless and antsy.  i was chatting with megs online about her logo for her capstone project.  basically, i volunteered to work on it a bit for her, so i created a couple logos so she could choose what she wants exactly.  well, first i made two.  and then i made variations of those two with different fonts.  she loves them, and frankly so do i!  she hasn't chosen one yet, but they're pretty rad.  :)  i'll have to get those online so you can see them.  i left the files at work.  but anyway, that was kind of a fun way to wrap up a tuesday.

after work, it was kind of late already, and i wanted to get a lot done around the apartment (i made a list!), so i headed home instead of the gym.  i did 4 loads of laundry.  i cleaned the entire apartment from top to bottom.  the magazines are mostly under control.  i started working on my christmas list (i thought i was too old for this but people keep asking me for it because apparently i'm hard to shop for even though i pretty much love everything).  i talked to the family.  i talked to sarah online for a bit (i'm going to disneyland with her on new year's day!).  and i had a really random dinner because i have no food around here.  it's been really nice.  i feel like i accomplished a lot and i love it when the apartment is nice and clean. :)  so spending a night here watching basketball and country music videos and just taking care of chores around the apartment is totally enjoyable for me.

and now i'm off to bed before another day of work.  good night! :)

monday 28 november 2005 9:09pm

"now heaven to me it's a simple thing
it's just you and me
and a phone that don't ring
popcorn poppin' on a lay-around friday night" -- kenny chesney "old bird dog"

it was a monday.  what can i say?  it was good and tiring and just sort of standard, but on the whole i guess i really did enjoy myself, when i think about it. :)  and so i'll just take that and get ready to move on to tuesday.

i managed to get a bit of sleep last night before another week of work, which was totally needed!  i'll take all the hours of sleep that i can get these days, especially after such a busy weekend full of early mornings, late nights, and busy days.  so anyway, it was nice to get at least a little bit of rest before that alarm went off this morning.  and yes, it did go off, and yes, i did have to get up and get into the shower.  i got cleaned up and found a little cereal for breakfast, and i headed out.

on my way to work, i had a little extra time so i stopped off at starbucks for my favorite, a nonfat decaf white chocolate mocha, which was quite delicious.  and i made it to work just fine, though wearing more layers of clothing (yet still my flip-flops) than what i'd normally consider desirable.  at least i was warm. :)

work today was good.  i'm getting started on stuff for the december magazines, and i was also working on a few other little things that just come up here and there and aren't too big of a deal.  and we had a little brainstorming meeting for a new concept for some of our ads, which went well and we have an interesting new idea of how to run them.  could be great! :)  however, we spent most of the day chatting and catching up with one another after a long weekend apart.  i guess we all really are quite close, spending so many hours a week together.  and it seems like the weekend went pretty well for everyone, even if jan did have a little rollerblading accident.

for lunch, melissa, jenna, marke, and i went to z pizza for some... well... pizza. :)  of course, it was delicious and we brought back leftovers so we'll have lunches for a few more days.  plus, it was a sunny day out and it was nice to just get out of the office for a few minutes. :)

after work, i headed for the y with the intentions of going for a swim (i haven't done that in awhile), but i got out of my car and it was just so chilly out that i decided against it.  so instead of swimming, i decided that riding a bike in the temperature-controlled gym instead would be a much better idea. :)  i read about the first half of "a million little pieces" while sitting in various airports this weekend and it was still in my purse because i haven't cleaned that out yet, so i decided that would make excellent reading material for my ride.  and i am actually quite enjoying reading it, even if i also often find it quite painful to read about what it feels like to be a crack addict in rehab.  a book without a pink cover!  amazing, i know! ;)

after the gym, i headed home.  i ended up spending some time at the computer chatting with friends and also watching a bit of monday night football in between. :)  i talked to the family.  i had ramen for dinner (don't judge me -- it's cold here and i have almost nothing to eat in this apartment) and cookies for dessert.  and now i'm watching last night's episodes of "desperate housewives" and "grey's anatomy" so that i'll be all caught up and won't have to ask people at work not to talk about the shows.  :)  a good way to spend an evening, really, though i probably should have unpacked or something good like that that i'm just putting off! ;)

and once this show is over, i'm off to bed again.  more tomorrow.  good night!

sunday 27 november 2005 11:23pm

"sometimes i see you standing there
sometimes it's like i'm losing touch
sometimes i feel that i'm so lucky to have had the chance to love this much
God give me a moment's grace
'cause if i'd never seen your face
i probably wouldn't be this way" -- leann rimes "probably wouldn't be this way"

ok, i once again find myself in a place far from where i started this morning.  and i suppose that's a good thing, even if i also know that i'll be completely exhausted tomorrow.  there are not nearly enough hours between now and when i have to get up tomorrow morning.  but i'll survive and the exhaustion is totally and completely worth it because i had a great weekend!

once again i found myself awake entirely too early this morning and on purpose.  i got cleaned up and put on jeans, a polo, and a sweatshirt (pretty much the warmest outfit i could make with what clothes i brought home with me).  auntie lily and theresa picked up mom and me this morning and we headed to downtown san fran.  we had a busy day planned for ourselves!  after a chilly walk around downtown in our roundabout way of getting to the restaurant, we arrived at sears fine foods (unrelated to the sears department stores).  we had a delicious breakfast there!  i had 18 swedish pancakes! :)  (they were small sized and i didn't come close to eating all 18 of them.)  and then we spent our morning doing christmas shopping around downtown.  goodness, i miss living in a proper city!  the energy and the people and all of it is not exactly what i get living in laguna.  but anyway, we did a lot of shopping.  the major highlight -- and pretty much the main reason for our trip into the city -- was h&m!!!  that's right, people!  an h&m in san fran!  it's brand new and is apparently going to serve as their west coast flagship.  it was huge and i tried on lots and lots of clothes and i had so much fun there!  and mom bought me christmas presents!  so i came home with nothing new for myself but i'll have fun h&m things soon. :)  the 4 of us also met up with auntie joyce and caroline for a bit.  more shopping.  lunch at lori's diner.  more shopping.  it was such a fun way to spend a day in the city! :)  also, it was a beautiful day there.  and by that i mean that it was sunny but not at all warm and i was freezing all day.  haha!  it was great!

eventually, we did head home and by then i think we were all totally exhausted.  i had to get my bags packed with all sorts of things and i also hung out with dad and with adam a bit.  it was leftover pizza and cheesecake for dinner, and then dad and adam brought me to the airport.

the airport was quite busy and i think i enjoyed it even less because i wasn't so ready to be heading back to orange county and to work.  i'm still tired!  but i did eventually get on my plane.  about 3/4 of the way through the flight, as we were descending, i remembered why i hate flying.  the ears.  i was ready to take off my left ear, really!  i hate that!  oh, well.  i'm alright now, after lots of yawning and whatever else i could think to do to fix it.  i'm sure that looked cool! ;)  and i got my luggage alright and i made it back to the apartment fine. :)

now i'm off to bed because i need to squeeze in some small amount of sleep before tomorrow.  good night!  and once again, happy thanksgiving!

saturday 26 november 2005 11:33pm

“and i still see her in my dreams
and to this day she’s whispering
one of these days you’re gonna love me
you’ll sit dwn by yourself and think…
and then you’re gonna sigh a little
and maybe even cry a little
but one of these days’ you’re gonna love me” – tim mcgraw “one of these days”

clearly, thanksgiving break spent at home is not at all about resting.  :)  and i’m ok with that really.  it is so much fun that i really don’t care that i’ll end up being totally tired by the time i get to work on monday morning.  i’ll sleep when i’m dead… or spending a quiet weekend at my apartment, at least. ;)

once again i was awoken quite early, but it was also totally worth it as we set out on yet another thanksgiving tradition.  every year we go to the auto show in san francisco to check out all the new cars and of course to see the displays of historic cars that are also there.  so we got up and headed out to the city to the show.  this year it was just dad, adam, and me.  we got into the city just fine and parked in the usual garage and headed over to moscone center.  we were a few minutes early so we had to wait in line, but we also were some of the first people inside.  and pretty much we spent the next several hours going from brand to brand checking out all the cards.  we sat in lots and lots and chose which ones we’d like to own, just like we always do.  my favorites were much like any other year: mustang, lots of the volvos, a couple cool concept cars, and the corvette.  and after lots and lots and lots of walking (that place is huge!) we had lunch at chevy’s downtown since it’s like just across the street and it sounded good.  then we headed back home.

after a nice little afternoon nap (in adam’s bed because it is more comfortable than the one in my room),  the whole family headed out to dinner.  we picked up auntie nancy and met auntie lily and theresa at the new bj’s that just opened in foster city.  it was a little bit of a wait but we did it anyway, and i didn’t really mind because i could watch the stanford-notre dame football game on the tv in the bar.  and then we had a delicious dinner, and of course lots of pizookie for dessert, which was so great, even if i am now outrageously full.  and of course, it was nice to see the family a bit.

and then we all headed home, and i pretty much just relaxed around the house for the evening.  i wasn’t up to a whole lot, but i guess that was nice after a pretty busy day.  and another busy one tomorrow, as well!

i’m off to bed now because i’m headed to the city once again tomorrow morning (even earlier tomorrow) for some christmas shopping with the girls and also a nice breakfast out, i believe.  good night!  more soon!

friday 25 november 2005 11:59pm

“somethin’ just ain’t right
freedom feels like lonely tonight
out on this open road
anywhere I wanna go is waitin’
all I can think about
is turnin’ this ol’ truck around and taking
that road back to you” – joe nichols “freedom feels like lonely”

haha!  i'm so ridiculous sometimes, i swear. :)  but this life is a lot of fun, so i don’t mind the ridiculousness of all of this.

it was 6:30am and dad was in my room waking me up and that was when i couldn’t help but think that i'm totally an idiot.  who lets me get it into my head that i need to get up early on black friday and go shopping when i don’t even really need anything in particular?!?  but i got up anyway because it really was too late to bail out on theresa, so i hopped into the shower.  and  theresa came to get me at 7 and we were off to hillsdale for some shopping.  we didn’t need anything specific, so we just sort of wandered all around.  it wasn’t totally insane around there, and we both found a couple things.  and eventually we were hungry, so we had a little breakfast at cinnabon, which was so great!  i love that place but i never go there, so it was a nice little treat.  and by about 10 we were done.  sort of.  :)  we then decided that we wanted to go to urban outfitters, which is down in san jose, so theresa drove us down there, even though we both knew that once auntie lily found out she’d probably freak that i let theresa drive that far.  i mean it’s not really that far, so I let her.  haha!  and then we did quite a bit of shopping all around valley fair and also at santana row.  we paused for lunch at the irish pub that’s at santana row (theresa picked it out), and it was actually quite delicious and a really cool place for lunch.  theresa even got bangers and mash!  so irish! :)  and for our last hour, we gave each other time apart so we could shop for each others, as well.  the only flaw in the plan was that we actually ran into each other in a stores!  of all the stores in that huge mall, what were the odds?!?  so anyway, we had a really great time!

after a little afternoon nap (in adam’s bed), i was back in the shower getting cleaned up again.  i got dressed and pretty and all of that for a nice evening out.  kath came to pick me up and we met annahita at sneakers for dinner, which is always delicious.  it got a little strange at one point, though, because when the waitress brought us our bill she said the guy at a table across the restaurant (which is quite small really) wanted to buy our drinks so those weren’t on the bill.  um, it’s a good thing we were drinking… diet cokes.  yep, he was basically treating us to about $6 in drinks.  haha!  so when i looked over to see who the guy was, he was about 50 years old in a turtleneck and blazer in what is basically a sports bar.  and he never looked over at our table and didn’t say anything to us before he left.  after that, the waitress informed us that he was in fact quite odd, telling her that he was looking for a woman and that he was willing to pay for her.  what?!?  yeah, so that was kind of hilarious!  anyway, after a while we decided to move along, so we went down to palo alto to university and find something to do.  basically, we ended up (like usual, i suppose) in the bar at the cheesecake factory.  we hung out there for quite a while enjoying cheesecake, coffee and the wait staff. ;)  it was so much fun catching up with friends, and we even ran into an old friend from high school, which was cool.

as kath was driving me home, we were listening to krty on the radio and all of a sudden i realized we were listening to kelly!  he was djing.  i couldn’t remember the studio number, so i just texted kelly, and he ended up calling me back and we caught up for a few minutes.  mostly it’s just rad to hear one of my friends on the radio when i’m not even expecting it.  he sounded good, though!

and now, time for bed.  tomorrow is the annual car show day! :)  i’ll let you know how it is.  for now, g’night!

thursday 24 november 2005 11:12pm 

“we don’t flip the bird, we don’t cuss and scream
and the cars all move when the light turns green
we don’t lock our doors when we leave the house
there ain’t nobody here that we’d keep out
that’s the way we do it in our town, yeah
you never hear me apologize
for growin’ up strong, growin’ up right
livin’ life by the golden rule
say ‘yes, ma’am,’ ‘thank you’
green fields for miles and miles
ain’t nothing but country on the radio dial
i thank the good Lord i was born and bread
corn fed” – shannon brown “corn fed”

happy thanksgiving, everybody! :)  it was a good time around the wyatt household, and i'm hoping yours was just as wonderful!  there's a lot to be thankful for.

somehow, magically, mom let me sleep as late as i wanted or as late as i possibly could while other people were around the house preparing for things.  so i did end up getting more sleep than expected, which was great!  and i did eventually get myself out of bed and into the shower and all cleaned up and all that.  after all, I did know that mom would need some help with the morning’s preparations.  after getting cleaned up, i helped out with various things and then found a few minutes to actually get dressed and ready and all of that. :) 

the family came over for a big thanksgiving lunch, just like every year.  it was quite a large group this year, actually, with my family, lots of aunts and uncles and cousins, neighbors, grandmas, and everyone!  it was so nice to actually get to see everyone, too, because that hasn’t really happened in quite some time now.  and we had a crazy amount of food, all of which was quite delicious, and we had even more desserts (including my apple pies :))!  and a major highlight was learning that there’s a brand new (actually 2 stores) h&m in the city!  haha!  theresa and i already have plans to go there this weekend.  and we played a lot of blackjack and i managed to lose all the dimes that grandma gave me.  of course, it wasn’t really that many, but still.  i was getting rough cards.  but anyway, it was a really nice thanksgiving.

once everyone was gone and it was just me and the family, dad and i crashed out on their bed for a  few minutes and when we woke up i discovered that cmt was replaying the cma awards from last week, so we watched those again and of course they were awesome!  for a small dinner, i made potato pancakes for adam and me.  and then we watched the rest of the awards on the parents’ huge new tv.  and all of a sudden it’s now quite late and i am getting up early to go shopping (for nothing in particular but to just sort of get out in the crowds) with theresa.  i am off to bed.  good night!  happy thanksgiving!

thursday 24 november 2005 1:45am

“the moon glows
the river flows
but I die
without you
the world revives
colors renew
but I know only blue
only blue
lonely blue
within me blue
without you” – “without you” from”rent”

first of all, i made it back to san carlos safely, which is a good thing! :)  and so here’s kind of how the day went (briefly because it’s the middle of the night already and I’m far from ready for bed – funny how that happens no matter where i am).

i got up, got clean and dressed, finished up last-second packing, and headed of to work for a wednesday that felt like a friday.  i didn’t do a whole lot really today, and neither did anyone else, so that was pretty fun.  and around lunchtime, marke, scott, jenna, and i went to lunch together at daphne’s, which was a good time.  scott pretty much never comes out to lunch with us because he just comes in on wednesday afternoons usually because he can but today he came in the morning since no one would be around in the afternoon.  And i was just about to find out how clear that was.  so anyway, jenna left for home straight from lunch, and the three of us went back to the office.  and guess what.  we found it already locked up and the alarm set.  i guess we really were shutting down early today!  so we got in, got our belongings, and headed back out.  free for the weekend and it wasn’t even 2! :)

i headed straight for john wayne airport and figured that i might as well get my car parked and try to get on an earlier flight on stand-by.  and after a bit of waiting, i got on the first flight from orange county to san jose.  of course, i was nearly the last person on the place and i had to sit in the middle seat, but i was going to make it home 3 hours earlier than planned, which was totally awesome and worth the 45 minutes in between two strange women.  so i did it, and dad and adam came to pick me up at the airport and bring me home.

At home, we watched basketball, and i baked my two apple pies for tomorrow.  i’ll let you know how they turned out once i’ve actually had a slice. :)  but they do look delicious and i suppose that’s a really good place to start.

tonight, meg came over and picked up adam and me and we headed down to santa clara to Mercado, my favorite movie theatre.  we met up with a bunch of meg’s sisters and their friends and all 10 of us saw “rent!”  that’s right, people!  it’s “rent” day, a day that i’ve been waiting for forever and ever!  it’s my favorite musical, and i had high hopes for the film version.  and it’s great!  it’s not perfect, but it is everything that i wanted it to be: something to tide me over between actual productions.  and i cried.  a lot.  because that’s what that show does to me.  and i loved seeing it and so yeah, go see it!

and now i’m off to bed.  i’ve been awake too many hours now and i’m sure mom will be getting me up earlier than is desirable in the morning.  happy thanksgiving!

tuesday 22 november 2005 10:47pm

"i'm bouncing off the wall the like an old jackrabbit
my heartbeat's racing out of control
well i'm missing you like an old bad habit
well i feel like a prisoner just got paroled
i gotta have it
i'm an addict
you know that i could never give you up
my hands are shakin'
my body's achin'
for every single drop of your love
my condition
there's no remission
baby you're my favorite drug
i can't function
you got something
i gotta have it" -- jace everett "i gotta have it"

woo!  tueday night and i'm finally getting to writing this, which means i'm almost ready to get to bed, and it's much earlier than i had expected, though it is later than an average tuesday.  but anyway, it was a decent and busy tuesday and now i'm writing. :)

so i totally got bed at a reasonable hour last night, which is very exciting! :)  it was the first non-"laguna beach" monday in a while, so that was kind fo sad.  but anyway, i got some rest but still absolutely did not want to get out of bed with the alarm.  and yet, somehow, i did, once again.  i got cleaned up and had a little breakfast.  then i headed off to work in my skirt and missed the interview with the cast of "rent" that the news had been hyping since when i turned it on nearly an hour before i left.  lame!  oh, well.  so anyway, i was off to work.

work today was pretty fun! :)  because it's a really slow week and there are a lot of people out, everything has been especially casual and relaxed, which means that i spent my morning reading the "communication arts" design annual (geez!  people are crazy talented!) and i spent the vast majority of the afternoon chatting with co-workers who came to just sort of hang out in the art department.  i guess everyone's looking for something to do that's not work during this short holiday week. :)  and actually, it was was quiet a fun way to spend the day and i also somehow feel like i learned a lot.

after work, i went to the mall to pick something up really quickly and also to grab a jamba juice dinner. :)  mmm!  and it was surprisingly empty around there.  and then i had to make a quick stop at the drug store before heading home.

tonight was fun, if it also involved chores.  i had a few loads of laundry to do, as it has been kind of a while since i've done laundry.  so i took care of that, which went great (which rarely happens).  and i watched some great college basketball games on tv while chatting online with adam.  it was a good time, even if all my rooting didn't really pay off.  haha!  and while laundry was in the dryer, i gave myself a holiday pedicure: red. :)  and then i folded and put away all the laundry and also packed my suitcase for the weekend.  i'm headed home tomorrow after work, so i need everything all set and ready to go.  and after talking to dad for a couple minutes, i gave myself a holiday manicure: french. :)  i had put these things off sunday night until tonight so they'd look better by this weekend.  anyway, now i'm watching my recording of "gilmore girls," which is enjoyable.

and i guess that's about it for now. :)  i'm headed home tomorrow night, but there are lots of computers there for me to use!  and i'll be up to lots of fun things to write about! :)  good night and more soon...

monday 21 november 2005 10:00pm

"if today was not an endless highway
if tonight was not a crooked trail
if tomorrow wasn't such a long time
then lonesome would mean nothing to me at all
yes and only if my own true love was waiting
if i could hear is heart softly pounding
yes and only if he was lyin' by me
would i lie in my bed once again" -- nickel creek "tomorrow is a long time"

for a monday, it turned out to be an interesting day, really.  bits were just plain odd, and other parts were particularly wonderful, and mostly it was just a nice day.  that's kind of how things have been going, i suppose.

i probably should have gotten to bed a little bit earlier last night, but it really doesn't work like that on sunday nights because "grey's anatomy" keeps me up until 11 just watching that and then there's that whole process of getting ready to go to bed.  so somehow, i was not quite ready for the alarm clock this morning.  i did have this really weird dream that involved (country singer) dierks bentley and i was disappointed when i woke up and realized that it was just a dream.  but anyway, i got up and out of bed and into the shower.  i had a nice english muffin for breakfast, and then i headed out in jeans and heels.

work today was fine.  just work, really.  i just had sort of normal tasks to take care of, like tidying up a bit, i guess.  clean up some disk space, make sure that everything's in order, just stuff like that, which is fine for a monday that kicks off a short week.  so i was just kind of there doing stuff like that and chatting with co-workers and all those sorts of normal things.  and at lunchtime, i was not invited to the big lunch with everyone else at a beautiful place in laguna, which was weird but i don't really want to explain it right now, so i went to z pizza for a tasty lunch and then hung out at my desk some more.  nothing too special.

after work, i headed straight home.  marke wanted to come over to watch monday night football, and my apartment was going to need a little bit of straightening in the few minutes between when i'd get home and when the game started.  on my way home, i talked to adam about the college basketball that was on.  i realized i shouldn't have let marke come over to watch the less-than-interesting football game where there was so much college basketball to be watched tonight but i had already told him he could.  anyway, so i made sure things were in order around the apartment and watched the b-ball.  marke and his friend towsky(sp?) came over to watch a bit of the game, but really not that much and they left when the second half started so i went back to the basketball, which i'm still watching, actually. :)  so many games tonight!  and i've already decided that i'm so in maui next thanksgiving for the maui invitational.  it's the best!

and what else have i been up to tonight?  i talked to dad for a bit on the phone, and also adam some more.  i talked to sarah, megs, and kath for a few minutes each, which is always nice.  and really, i've watched basketball.  the time just flies!  and now i need to get ready for bed.  i'm getting quite sleepy and i know i'll have a busy night tomorrow.  good night!  and more tomorrow...

sunday 20 november 2005 9:32pm

"so love me if you ever gonna love me
i never have seen a road too rough to ride
i'll be there ready and a waitin'
there won't be any hesitation
i'll be right there if you ever want me by your side" -- ray price "i'll be there"

considering the amount of sleep i got this weekend, i'm really quite tired already.  and i still have more than an hour's worth of tv to watch tonight!  but it's all because i've had a great weekend, so i have no complaints really! :)  and i suppose i'll soon be ready for the half-week of work that's in front of me before a nice little holiday break!

anyway, so it was another great weekend day here in laguna hanging out with meg!  and yet again we got things started out great by sleeping in late.  we both love it and we both could use the sleep, so it seemed like a great idea! :)  but we did eventually get cleaned up and dressed and all of that.  and we lounged around a bit while i read bits of the newspaper before we could decide what we should do with the day.

we did eventually decide that lunch (meal #1?) and that california pizza kitchen sounded good, so we went up to the spectrum in irvine.  it was a gorgeous day.  perfect.  (and that probably qualifies as hot by many other people's standards.)  let's just all take a second to remember that it's nearly thanksgiving.  and then i'll tell you that meg and i ate lunch outside and it was very warm out there.  by the end of lunch, the sun was on my back and i was extremely warm.  and also, lunch was absolutely delicious! :)  love that pizza!  and then of course we walked around the spectrum.  that place changes every time i'm there because it's still quite new and they're still opening new stores.  anyway, we looked around and i made meg buy a beautiful dress at urban outfitters.  and then she talked me into going into anthropologie because she totally knew it would get me in trouble.  and it turned out to be a whole lot of trouble.  :)  hehe!  i might have found a really cool dark red dress...  yes, yes, i did.  and i love it.  perhaps i will just wear it every day.  because you know, that'd be appropriate. ;)  but it's so cute and i couldn't leave it in the store because i'd just think about it all the time.  i even put it on tonight after meg was gone just to see how pretty it is again.  anyway, after that i knew we needed to get out of there before i found any more trouble.  (also, how was there an ice rink?  was it melted?  it was like 90 degrees out.  i'm not sure...)

so we went to trader joe's to pick up a few groceries and then came home.  i made a quick lasagna and threw it in the oven, and then meg and i watched the second half of "rounders," which we didn't finish friday night because we were just too sleepy.  and i do like that movie so much!  my boyfriend matt damon is so kickass in it!  :)  and then we had a nice, proper dinner of salad and lasagna and then the frozen yogurt that we had picked up earlier at golden spoon. :)  plus, meg let me watch the chiefs game in the process and they won so that was wonderful! :)

eventually, meg had to head back to monterey and i was left to myself again.  i talked to the family for a bit.  dad's already excited about the auto show, which is great!  and then it was "desperate housewives" and "grey's anatomy" while also chatting with sarah, which has been a good time! :)

and then... time for sleep before 3 work days and another busy weekend. :)  good night!

sunday 20 november 2005 12:59am

"i'm the kind to sit up in this room
heart sick and eyes filled up with blue
i don't know what you've done to me
but i know this much is true
i wanna do bad things with you" -- jace everett "bad things"

;) a little naughty, but you know... haha!  jace everett rocks and his music will finally be available to me on tuesday, so that's happy!  anyway...

saturday was a great one!  and it got started off great as meg and i both slept in really late! :)  oh, we really both needed that very much, especially since the night before neither of us rally got much sleep and so friday was quite long.  so we slept a lot and enjoyed that very much and meg reported that she too thinks my couch is so wonderfully comfy.  and then we eventually got up and clean and dressed and ready to start out the day.

we drove up to rancho santa margarita, where i had never actually been before, to see meg's friend that she's known like her entire life, evan.  and on the way, i finally got to drive through the intersection of antonio and banderas, which is really quite exciting because (1) it's funny and (2) i've heard about it from several other people. :)  anyway, so we made it up there and it was cool to see a new area that isn't really that far from where i live.  we went to the tea shop that evan's family owns.  he's the chef there now, apparently.  so anyway, we sat and had tea and i had great chocolate chip scones and meg had quiche and i felt all special sitting at the table with the chef coming to sit with us as often as he could while not neglecting other guests.  and we ended up being there quite a while actually, just relaxing and chatting and whatever, which was totally cool.

eventually, megs and i left and decided we should get in a little shopping, so we went to the shops and mission viejo and walked all around.  we didn't find a whole lot to buy, but we did look around a lot and had a good time.  and we ended that little trip with muscle beach lemonade, which is the best ever. :)

then we headed back to the apartment and evan met us back here.  we went down to san clemente to sonny's, which is this local italian place that i went to once for lunch in my very early days at rtc and have been meaning to go to again for reals.  now seemed like a good chance, especially since meg wanted to go somewhere that she couldn't go to anywhere else.  so we went there, and the food was delicious (plus, we were starving!) and it was quite a nice dinner really. :)  and i also now know it'll be particularly rad during the summer because their outdoor dining area is as big as their indoor one.

after dinner we headed back to my place because we couldn't decide what we should actually do and that's just where i drive to if i don't know where i'm driving.  so we hung out on my couch for awhile just talking and whatever and that was fine with me really.  and after awhile, evan had to leave and meg and i wanted frozen yogurt so we drove down to golden spoon only to discover that at 10:50 it was already closed.  lame!  so we just went to albertson's and got ben & jerry's and reese's peanut butter cups and brought those back to the apartment.  awesome!  and we spent more time on the couch eating dessert and watching "snl" and just doing nothing/whatever/hanging out.  it's been great really! :)

and now we're both ready to crash.  sunday will have more good times before meg has to head back to monterey.  i'll let you know how it goes... :)  good night!

friday 18 november 2005 11:05pm

"and i love this water
and i love these waves
and i love to watch the palm trees
how they dance and sway
the cooler's full
and the sky is clear
the cool breeze blows
and all my friends are here
and i don't wanna be in this boat alone
when the party's over
and my friends all gotta get home
i wanna wave goodbye
untie and drift back off holdin' on
to somebody hangin' on to me
oh, i don't wanna be in this boat alone" -- kenny chesney "in this boat alone"

friday!  friday!  friday!  not sure if i ever mentioned it before but hearing tim anthony chant that on air at krty was one of my favorite things about being able to listen to by beloved san jose country radio station. :)  and he'd laugh right after and it was awesome!  anyway, that's how i feel about this friday!  so great!

of course, i made it to bed quite late last night and even was up late enough to see joaquin phoenix on conan.  that's way too late for me, especially when i'm meant to get up an hour early to be at work an hour early.  but the good part was that i was so tired by the time i finally got to go to sleep that i slept well.  pretty much all the way until that early alarm clock.  at that point, i got up, dressed, and headed out as quickly as possible.  i stopped at starbucks for some (decaf -- it's enough caffeine for me) coffee (or white mocha).  for the second time in a row, they got my order wrong and put whipped cream on it.  who orders a non-fat drink and then wants whipped cream on top?  no one!  i don't even really care for whipped cream, but i took the drink anyway and went to work.

since the magazines went out already, i got to work on other little projects that are around, like next month's newsletter for st. judes and scanning and live tracing (one of illustrator's most awesome features) signatures for the company christmas cards.  it was good fun and also left time for the normal office antics. :)  plus, jenna told me i could sneak out after lunchtime because i had a friend coming into town.  :)  awesome!  so i worked all day until about 2 and then took off.

i then drove home from work.  it was pretty much the best drive home ever.  :)  picture this... me in the volvo, windows down and sunroof open.  a dry 85 degrees.  waves crashing.  hair blowing everywhere and a few stray strands sticking to my lipgloss.  huge sunglasses.  it was so wonderful!  i love november in laguna!  seriously!  it couldn't have been more perfect weather, even mid-summer.

eventually, meg showed up.  she'd been driving pretty much all day from monterey, but she made it! :)  we hung out around the apartment a little bit before deciding that we were hungry and that we should go to fashion island and find somewhere to eat and then wander around the shops.  well, i messed up the exit off the toll road so i was going the wrong way on macarthur when i had a genius idea!  benihana!  we should totally go there for dinner instead and it was in the direction i was now accidentally driving.  awesome!  and i didn't remember exactly where it was but i faked it and we found it and we were even seated right away!  great!  and we had a delicious dinner (duh) and the couple (or were they brother-sister?) to our right turned out to be really cool and we chatted with them a little.  and then we did actually go to fashion island to wander around the shops a bit, though neither of us actually bought anything.  and we were eventually just too tired so we headed back to the apartment, stopping only for fro-yo from golden spoon on the way.  we put on my dvd of "rounders" and both started falling asleep (not because it's not good but because we both just had really long days) and now meg's sleeping and i'm about to crash myself.  not sure yet what's up for tomorrow, but i'm sure you'll hear about it once it happens.  good night! :)

thursday 17 november 2005 11:40pm

"she was so scared
she threw her hands up in the air
jesus, take the wheel
take it from my hands
'cause i can't do this on my own
i'm letting go
so give me one more chance
save me from this road i'm on" -- carrie underwood "jesus, take the wheel"

ooh!  it's late and i'm just getting started on this thing and i promised to be at work an hour early tomorrow morning.  oops!  sometimes, things just take longer than i anticipated and i end up working on things longer than i realize and all of a sudden i've run out of time to sleep.

so the sleeping last night... pretty much standard.  alarm clock went off.  got up and showered.  got dressed.  had cereal for breakfast with the last few drops of milk left in my refrigerator.  (note to self: you have no beverages left in your apartment.)  i started to walk out the door with dripping wet hair and nothing to fix it later but i realized it quick enough that i went back to the bathroom, stuck a few bobby pins in, and left looking much better (if also still wet). :)

work today was good.  we got the second magazine of the month off to the printer.  we had way too many last-second things going on with it, but it still got out by 4 so all is well. :)  and like always we had a good time around the office.  melissa brought in her big exercise ball (the kind you do sit-ups on or whatever) to sit on because it's really good for your core muscles if you sit on it at least 30 minutes a day apparently.  so she spent the morning on it, and i sat on it for quite a while in the afternoon.  and the rest of the time, jan was busy throwing it all around and marke was threatening to pop it.  and no matter what, it has got to be better than our normal purple chairs that are so uncomfortable that we want stand-up stations. :)  lunch was yesterday's delicious leftover pizza!  that was such an excellent idea!

after work, i headed to staples to pick up some paper for my printer at home and while i was there kath returned my call from earlier so i ended up chatting with her while in staples picking out paper and then the whole way home.  also, between my call to kath and her call back to me, i called grandma bunoan to just say hello and she was happy to hear from me. :)  anyway, i found some good paper, had a nice chat with kath, and headed home.

i put some college hoops on the tv and talked to adam on the phone while we rooted for teams together for a bit until he needed to get to his homework and i needed to get some dinner.  someone was telling me about pasta bravo, which is kind of like an italian version of panda express around here and there's one in laguna niguel.  so i went. :)  i picked up chicken parmesan and brought it back here.  it was quiet good considering it cost $7, actually. :)  and then i spent the rest of the evening mostly on the couch.  i worked on a little project.  i chatted with a couple poeple online briefly.  i watched "the oc," which was enjoyable, and "everwood," which was so wonderful that i was laughing and crying and loving the whole things lots and lots.  that is such a great show! :)

also, the parents went to concord tonight to win a tv and somehow came back as travel agents.  i'm still not so sure about it, but it's sounding like they want to let me stay in hotels free or something so that's good.  anyway, i'll have to get more details on this later. :)  they're crazy!

and now, well, i'm wrapping up this project finally, and i need to get to sleep.  the apartment needs a little straightening before meg arrives tomorrow for the weekend.  actually, it needs cleaning but i'm just not going to get there. :)  ::sigh::  so i'm off to bed as soon as i can manage it.  good night. :)

wednesday 16 november 2005 10:57pm

"i just heard you sigh
and lean into my kiss
and close those deep blue, need you eyes" -- billy currington "must be doin' something right"

well i'm quite tired tonight so perhaps i have finally calmed down after last night's amazing show, full of incredible performances.  but probably not because it was just so awesome! :)

so i couldn't really fall asleep last night, as i'm sure you could probably guess between knowing i pretty much never sleep great (especially during the week) and that i was so stoked on last night's cma awards that i was all pumped up and not in any sort of condition to actually properly just fall asleep.  of course, i did eventually get to sleep, only to be awoken by that alarm clock.  again.  i hate that thing! ;)  so i got into the shower and then got dressed.  you know you're living the good life when you wear polos (pink, with the collar up because it has writing on the underside of the collar) and jeans in the middle of november. :)  i grabbed a quick cereal breakfast and then headed out way earlier than normal.

work today was good.  i had enough to keep me just busy enough.  a lot of the day, somehow, was spent chatting with everyone around the office.  it seems like the art department had people in it all day long wanting a social break or something.  and really, i didn't mind all that much. :)  the strangest part was when marina was trying to pimp out the single ladies of rtc to our tech guy, scott.  haha!  oh, i work in such a weird place!  but i have a good time around there.

for lunch, jan, jenna, lea, melissa, and i went up to the road for lunch out at z pizza.  it was, of course, delicious!  today, instead of my normal slice to go that i get when i'm solo, i ordered a proper pizza.  and i only ate half of it so i'll have the leftovers to eat for lunch the rest of the week!  and it was kind of an odd little situation because the 5 of us and all the pizza and salads we ordered were squished to fit at a table meant for 4.  z pizza is a tiny place with only a handful of tables.  but we had a great time and tasty lunch. :)

after work, i headed over to the ymca to the pool.  on the way there, i was pleasantly surprised by the sight of a beautiful sunset out over the ocean!  yay!  because we have the desert winds right now, the skies are clear even at night, so the sunsets are wonderful! :)  and once it was actually dark, there were stars out!  love that!  but anyway, i made it to the y and to the pool for a good swim.  it was a little weird because not many people were there and there weren't people swimming in the lanes on either side of me.  it's odd.  but eventually 3 boys taking a swimming lesson were on one side.  and i had a really good swim, pushing particularly hard.

and then i headed home and got cleaned up and had some dinner.  i talked to the family on the phone for a bit.  adam and i sometimes get carried away on the phone.  we're both always busy doing something else while talking so we'll get distracted by those things and kind of just be on the phone with one another but not saying anything.  haha!  but anyway, it's always nice to chat.  also, i talked to sarah online for quite a bit.  :)  always a good time!

i then decided that i did want to get out of the apartment, because it seems like i haven't really left here lately, other than work.  so since i had a gift card for barnes and noble, i thought that would be a good place to go wander around a bit, and that's exactly what i did. :)  i wandered all around and got lots of gift ideas for myself and for other people.  and i picked up a couple magazines.  buying a book seemed a little ridiculous because i have lots around the apartment that i meant to get to and haven't.  but i will. :)  so i had a great time hanging out there.

and now i just caught up on last night's "girlmore girls" episode, which was quiet good.  and i'm thinking that i really do need to get to bed.  i'm sleepy and i'm already up later than what is ideal.  good night. :)

tuesday 15 november 2005 10:54pm

"take the ribbon from my hair
shake it loose and let it fall
layin' soft upon my skin
like the shadows on the wall
come and lay down by my side
'til the early morning light
all i'm takin' in your time
help me make it through the night" -- kris kristofferson "help me make it through the night"

and breathe!  just give me a second to take a deep breath or two... ok.  wow!  my heart is racing about a million miles an hour and in a great way!  whoo!  i'm just like going so fast it's hard for me to just sit down and type this thing.  i'm still busy totally, one hundred percent rocking out.  it's a good thing i live alone! ;)  but i'm getting ahead of myself.

the "laguna beach" season finale last night was really good.  i mean, honestly, it's not a good stand-alone episode, but it was a great way to cap off a great season, so i loved it and i might have cried (i know, it's too late, you've already judged me) and so i'm happy!  and afterwards they had a few minutes from the mtv studios in which they presented a little preview of the third season.  lc's little sister is going to be the narrator and it will follow new people.  it looks actually not very good at all.  as adam said, "the girls all look like whores."  haha!  it's true!  and i love the people of the first two seasons because they look like barbies, not like trash.  but anyway, i'll give it a shot when it starts, but i don't have high hopes.  however!  there is good news!  spring will see the debut of a whole new series entitled "the hills," which will be more of a continuation show.  it follows lc in her new life in la, so i'm totally looking forward to this! :)  and then i went to bed.

i actually got relatively good sleep last night but i still was not ready for the alarm.  i honestly don't think it matters at all how well i sleep or how long i sleep, i never like to hear the alarm.  ::sigh:: but i got up anyway and stumbled my way to the shower.  and i got cleaned up and had some breakfast.  oh, and i put on an outfit you can only wear mid-november in a place like orange county: t-shirt, gaucho pants, flip-flops, huge sunglasses. :)  and i headed off to work.  sadly, i was about to my car when i realized i hadn't dried my hair and i had no hair tie to keep things under control!  oops!  oh, well.

work today was good.  we got a magazine out to the printers, which is always a relief, even if we were a day later than originally planned.  but anyway, that was not the highlight of my day at work.  nor was my sad lunch of leftovers in the kitchen instead of a nice lunch out on this absolutely (think a perfect 85) gorgeous day.  (though i did go out to my car for a few minutes in the afternoon for at least a tiny little dose of sunshine.)  it was that melissa returned from her long weekend away in sedona, az, with her boyfriend chris.  now, they are engaged, which is so great for them!  i'm so glad for them! :)  so we gushed over the ring and how he did it and all of that stuff.  it was great!

after work, i had a total one-track mind.  you see, tonight is a very special night.  it is country music association awards night, which is surely the biggest night in country music.  i'm not sure i can even explain it to someone who's not a big country fan, but every person in country music attends.  seriously.  everyone.  the only exception was toby keith, but i can totally do without him so i don't really care.  but even shania twain made it out of switzerland to be there.  and it's not so much about the awards, and they only give out a handful during the 3-hour show.  ok, so my night started at at 5:45 when i got home.  i watched the red carpet show on the tv guide channel, the majority of which was hosted by joan and melissa rivers.  they are awful choices for this gig because they know absolutely nothing about country music or any of the artists.  but i still got to see all the pretty dresses, like jennifer of sugarland's, leann rimes's, and all the rest.  :)  plus, big and rich arrived with a scantily-clad, purple-haired entourage.  and then the show started!  oh my goodness!  it for sure was ok that i skipped the gym today because i was dancing all around this apartment and singing and jumping up and down and clapping and screaming and more!  :)  perhaps this is why i don't host a cma awards viewing party and instead choose to watch them alone in my apartment.  i can't really embarrass myself if i am solo, right? ;)  and let me just say that the awards show was amazing!  a.  m.  a.  z.  i.  n.  g.  i loved every second of it.  just a few of the highlights were alan jackson singing "you look wonderful tonight" (one of my dad's favorite songs to sing around the house), miranda lambert literally setting the stage on fire singing "kerosene," boyfriend keith urban playing with a full orchestra, willie nelson, big and rich rocking the house as always, garth brooks doing what i would say is one of the best songs of late live in times square (he absolutely needs to come out of retirement now!), that dress faith hill performed in (if i ever have the chance to put that dress on -- duh, in a human size -- i will die happy), george strait, martina mcbride, brad paisley and that awesome song, and all the rest! :)  also, to finish off the show properly, boyfriend keith won entertainer of the year!  biggest award of the night!  aaahhh!!!  i love it and i love him and this is so great!  :)  i will see him in a weeks, and i'll be sure to congratulate him properly.  plus, he's so cute bringing his mom as his date. :)

ok, so clearly i'm still running like 90 miles an hour and need to calm down and go to bed.  i'm off to go try and do that.  what a fun night!  i hope you got to enjoy it, as well, but of course, if you didn't, i dvr-ed it. :)  ok, good night!  more tomorrow...

monday 14 november 2005 9:41pm

"there's no way i could've made it this far
without you
you came to me just when i needed someone to believe
that i could make it through
and you gave me back
the love i had
the faith i'd lost
the life i knew
i wanna thank you for the love that you gave me
and the sun that you put in my sky" -- keith urban "i could fly"

i am trying to get this thing written so that i can enjoy the commercial-free "laguna beach" season finale in a few minutes and then just go to bed.  i won't make it, but i'm trying.

so after all the effort that i put into getting well-rested this weekend, i had a horribly bad time trying to get to sleep last night.  rough!  and i guess i did eventually fall asleep, but it was short, restless night of sleep.  so i wasn't feeling so great when that alarm clock went off so early this morning, but i got up anyway.  have to get going on a monday morning or i'll get stuck in all the high school traffic.  so anyway, i got up and clean and dressed.  i grabbed a little cereal for breakfast and then headed out way earlier than normal but i was ready so i figured that i might as well.  and i've been addcited to by dierks bentley album, so i was singing that the whole way.  i realized it was louder than i had noticed when a girl in a car next to me was staring because clearly she could hear the music, as she had her window rolled down.  so i was having fun! :)

work today was busy busy!  it was just me trying to take care of two magazines that are both mid-production right now because melissa was out today and jenna was out for the morning.  so i was at my desk all morning just working away.  and i must say that over the course of the day things went pretty well.  one magazine had a first proof go out today and the other one is nearly set to ship to the printers tomorrow.  so things are looking fine. :)  and monday lunch was... lame.  just pizza that was just alright.  whatever.

after work, it was colder out than i had expected, and foggier too, after a beautiful day, but i went to the pool anyway.  i guess it probably won't ever be particularly warm when it's already totally dark and it's november, but if you're anywhere that is at all cold then i'll just tell you that it wasn't cold at all.  like 65.  and i swam really hard for no particular reason other than that i just felt like it.  i was thinking about stuff and totally distracted from the motions and work so i just went.  until i was done all of a sudden! :)

i came home and got cleaned up.  i made myself a delicious little lasagna for dinner, and while that was in the oven i started talking to sarah online.  and magically the hours just few by!  i had big plans for my pre-laguna beach evening.  they didn't even happen.  like not even close.  but i had a great time talking to sarah and helping her with an assignment she's working on.  and i talked to the family a bit and had a cookie or two and just hung out.

and now... now it is time for "laguna beach."  there are going to be tears.  ::sigh:: i don't want the season to be over.  good night, all...

sunday 13 november 2005 10:06pm

"i may lose
but i'm in it for the long run
loving you
for good reason could be the wrong one
i don't wanna lose control
but the heart won't learn
to let it dwell and not forlorn" -- alison krauss and union station "borderline"

the thing that's great about sundays is that they're meant for being lazy.  or at least some of them are.  or at least some of my own sundays are meant for laziness.  even when the saturday the precedes the sunday was also meant for relaxation.  :)  i love sundays!  and can you guess what i did today? ;)

but i didn't really sleep in today.  i mean, i wasn't up early really at all, but i didn't do that sleep-til-11-because-i-have-no-plans things.  i actually got up at a normal, non-college student hour.  and i went straight to the shower to get cleaned up and ready to head out this morning.  after getting dressed and having a bite of breakfast, i headed out on a very sunny morning.

i headed down to st. edwards for 11am mass.  it'd been awhile since i'd gone, and i know i probably won't make it in the coming few weeks, so it seemed like a nice thing to do.  plus, i wasn't exactly busy doing anything else.  and of course, it was such a gorgeous morning that i ought to spend it in a place where i could see the sun and the ocean, the reasons i'm crazy enough to live here in laguna.  anyway, i went to mass, which was fine.  it wasn't amazing mostly because it was so crowded.  and there were poorly-behaved children sitting next to me.  i don't really mind that parents bring kids to mass.  i just lose my own concentration and therefore get less out of the mass.  but it was still fine.  and afterwards, i picked up the chuch bulletin, as i always do.  i was shocked to discover a brand new cover on it and a refreshed design on the inside!  crazy!  who knew church bulletins ever got makeovers?!?

after chuch, going to get my car washed seemed like a good thing to do, so that's where i headed.  i'm thinking it's time i try somewhere new because i'm never totally impressed where i've been going, but for today i just went to the same old place.  so i sat in the sun for a minute or two while i got my car washed and it was fine.  and then i headed over to trader joe's.  really, all i needed was milk.  i ended up with a few more things than that, but who can really resist? ;)

i spent the afternoon hanging around the apartment.  i made myself a little lunch.  i read the newspaper.  i talked to the family for a bit.  (adam's sickie sick.  :(  poor kid!)  i might have accidentally taken a little afternoon nap.  i watched a bit of football.  (i'm not sure why exactly i've been watching so much football lately but it has been enjoyable and it's always on.)  i made myself a nice pasta dinner.  (so what if pasta is so totally my new food?)

and of course, the best part of sunday nights spent on the couch are those new episodes of "desperate housewives" and "grey's anatomy!"  yay!  housewives got way better this week and i loved it like i loved episodes of the first season!  stuff happened and it was crazy and funny and wonderful!  and grey's was... grey's.  i love love love love that show!  i cannot get enough of it.  i love alex.  i love derek.  it's so great!

and now i should get to bed before yet another busy week of work.  good night!

saturday 12 november 2005 10:10pm

"you think you're one of millions but you're one in a million to me
when you wonder if you matter, baby, look into my eyes
and tell me, can't you see you're everything to me" -- brad paisley "the world"

a saturday with absolutely nothing to do.  i was not so sure what to do with myself, exactly but i managed to find some ways to occupy myself.  and it was very quiet.  and it was relaxing.

i was up late last night.  i even was up late enough to see part of carson daly, which is quite late if you know your late night tv schedules.  but anyway, my point is that i slept very late this morning.  like perfectly late.  and it was nice waking up because i didn't actually sleep too many hours.  i slept like 9, which is a good amount for me.  and i'm glad i was able to get my weekend started on a restful note, because some serious rest is really my objective for the weekend.

so eventually, i got up and went out to the doorstep to retrieve the newspaper, which i read while just hanging out on the couch.  it was really very uneventful.  my whole morning was uneventful.  i just wasn't up to much.  i read the paper, which didn't take me particularly long because i wasn't interested in several of the sections.  i made myself a nice little lunch, which was quite tasty.  :)  i spent some time taking care of things like sorting out old catalogues and magazines (if only because i was running out of room for new catalogues and magazines).  i put away all the clean dishes and started putting more dirty ones into the dishwasher.  i cleaned up various things that i had lying around the apartment.  and of course, i watched a bit of tv, though i can't even really recall what exactly it was that i had on.  probably football.  i don't know.  and as mundane as it all sounds (and really was), it's all i really wanted out of my day.  oh!  and i talked to the family a bit because they called.  adam's as grumpy as ever, and mom has already requested that i make a christmas list.  oh, yes, they are still all very much crazy!  i can hardly wait to see them at thanksgiving.

i eventually decided that i should probably get cleaned up and go somewhere -- anywhere -- just to get out of the house for a bit.  it was a sunny day, though still cali-winter-feeling.  it wasn't as warm as it looked, that was for sure.  but anyway, i did decide to go out.  i went to target to get garbage bags and blanks cdrs.  ooh!  yeah!  so exciting! ;)  and then i went to blockbuster to pick up a couple dvds to watch tonight.  next stop was the hardware store.  i love hardware stores because there are so many little items to look at.  i needed a short garden hose for my deck and a drain cover because i finally realized that i could just take off the weird cover that they had on my tub and put a normal one so i could properly clean the hair out every day.  anyway, then i went to the grocery store because i had run out of soda.  and that was not a good thing. ;)  but now, all is well.  and my final stop was a new little take-and-bake pizza place.  i figured i should give it a try, so i brought home a garlic chicken and bacon pizza.

i had a little movie marathon night.  i made my pizza, which was quite delicious!  :)  and then i watched "crash," which i hadn't ever seen before.  i mostly liked it, but i don't like that pretty much all the characters are not likable.  except ludacris's sidekick.  he was rad!  and then i put in "p.s."  i thought i hadn't seen it before, but as soon as i put the disc in i realized that i had in fact already seen it, which makes it a whole lot less exciting.  i'm watching it anyway now, but it's a little disappointing that it's not new to me.  where was my head when i was thinking i hadn't seen it?  not sure.  and it's good, so i'll watch the rest.

so that's about it from here for now.  i'm just hanging out.  not sure what's in store for tomorrow...

saturday 12 november 2005 12:15am

"yeah, when i get where i'm going
there'll be only happy tears
i will shed the sins and struggles
i have carried all these years
and i'll leave my heart wide open
i will love and have no fear
yeah, when i get where i'm going" -- brad paisley "when i get where i'm going"

i love fridays because they allow for things like reading magazines and afternoon naps and things like that.  and i needed things like that after work has been so busy for the past couple weeks and pretty much, so have i.  or at least it seems that way.  or maybe it's the lack of sleep.  i'm not sure.  i just know that it's nice to have time to just sit here.  or lie here.  or sleep here. :)

normally, i'm not so excited when that alarm clock goes off in the morning.  today, however, i was at least a little bit enthusiastic about it because it meant it was friday, which is great because saturday (and therefore, no alarm clock) follows.  so i got out of bed and into the shower, glad to have finally made it to the end of my work week.  i got cleaned up and headed out, bumming it in jeans, tennis shoes, a polo, and wet hair just hastily pulled back.

i might have stopped off for a donut breakfast on my way to work. :)  but i didn't have anything nearly as exciting as that to eat for breakfast at home, so i had to! ;)  anyway, work was really quiet today.  melissa's out.  jenna left at 10.  marke left at 2.  it was me and jan after that, and i had the art department room all the myself to listen to music out loud. :)  i spent most of the day just working on the magazines because we're in the middle of production for both of them.  i made serious progress, so i'm pleased with my week's work.  also, this afternoon the people who were actually in the building gathered for a birthday celebration for jan and cindy, who both have birthdays coming up.  there was ice cream cake and pies and really bad singing (an rtc tradition).  good times.  or at least a totally needed break on a friday afternoon.

for lunch... well... i gave in and did what i shouldn't do.  i went to romano's to pick up lunch to go.  see, lunch there is so wonderful!  and so much food!  and so tasty!  i shouldn't be allowed to go there, though, because it will surely become a crazy habit and i'll be there every day.  but anyway, lunch was so great! :)  and i even enjoyed eating it at my desk while reading this week's "sports illustrated."

after work, which i must admit was earlier than it should have been but jan talked me into it, i headed straight home.  i switched on the tv, curled up on the couch with a blanket, and proceeded to fall asleep immediately. :)  that was pretty much the plan!  and the nap was great, even if right in the middle it was interrupted by a telemarketing automated call on my mobile phone.  whatever.  i just went back to sleep.  oh,  i love a good nap on a friday afternoon. :)

the rest of my evening was really excitingly quiet.  i was just here, hanging out.  i made myself a little dinner, which was great.  i worked on ripping a bunch of cds onto my external hard drive so (1) i'll have nice back-ups when i wear out (meaning scratch) the original discs and (2) i can send some songs to friends who need to hear them because without me they'll never get enough country music in the lives.  (is there such thing as enough country music?  i say no.)  i watched a lot of tv, including new (the wb says "fresh" instead of "new") episodes of "what i like about you" and "twins."  so fun!  and i read various catalogues that have come in the mail lately and also some magazines that i've been meaning to get to.  and now i'm just relaxing with conan.  i'm going to head to my actual bed and properly crash soon, though.  good night!

thursday 10 november 2005 11:28pm

"and driving into town
it really started coming down
bringing me back around
to all that i miss...
it feels like it's rainin' you
i can't explain it
but i am baptized anew
it feels like it's rainin' you" -- brad paisley "rainin' you"

it's already 11:30 as i sit down to write this, and i'm definitely exhausted.  i honestly cannot believe that i have to go to another day of work this week before i get the weekend for a break.  but i suppose i should be thankful for the exhaustion because i've had a good evening and i'll get to sleeping when i get there (when i'm dead?).  for now, it's good times and heavy eyelids. :)

i had a hard time sleeping last night.  the heavy rain that i suppose really started picking up in the week hours of the morning work me and i pretty much couldn't sleep after that.  normally it's not such a bother to try to sleep while it's raining, but for whatever reason i just couldn't.  though i guess i did fall back asleep at some point because i was quite started and disoriented when my alarm clock went off this morning.  but i got up and did the morning usual and headed off to work.

work today was as busy as ever.  lots and lots of magazine stuff.  and also, somehow, waiting for stuff to arrive for the magazines so that i could actually work with it.  but i did get quite a bit done with my stuff.  of course, it probably helped that i had my headphones on all morning because the art department was full of so much chatter about "lost" and that really awful less-than-official "lost" podcast that's so poorly done i can't stand it that i just needed to hear not that.  the new kenny chesney album on my ipod was much nicer. :)  and at lunchtime, marke headed off to school (like usual) and jenna, melissa, jan, larissa, and i went to wahoo's for lunch.  tasty!  and by the time we got back melissa was just about ready to take off for her long weekend, as well.  that left just me in the main art department room, free to do whatever, listen to whatever, and all that fun stuff! :)  good times!  but by 5, i was ready to leave.

i headed home for a just a few minutes before heading back out again.  i headed up to los angeles to the ahmanson theatre there to see a new musical (still in previews this week) called "the drowsy chaperone."  sarah recommended it to me because after la, it's broadway-bound!  so i bought a ticket and tonight was my night.  well, it's just under 60 miles from here to there.  and amazingly, in a feat of la magic, it took me 110 minutes.  yeah, seriously!  i thought i was going to miss the show completely, but i made it just in the nick of time!  and then when i picked up my (single) ticket at will call, the guy upgraded me seat for me to first row mezzanine, which is great! :)  i got quite a deal on that great seat!  and the show was so wonderful!  it is a comedy tribute to the musicals of the 1920s.  it's a guy in his living room playing the record of a musical called "the drowsy chaperone" and it then gets performed in his living room while he watches, comments, dances, and interacts with it.  it was hilarious!  and fun!  and there was a tap number, which i always love. :)  so it was well worth the crazy trip into la.

and i talked to the family while i drove home, which took about 45 minutes. :)  even though it slowed to about 35 in a couple spots where it just started raining.  la in the rain makes the cars stop.  it's magic.  and now i'm home, tired from spending so many hours in my car today but doing fine.  but i'm off to bed now.  one more day of work and then i can properly catch up on rest. :)  good night.  more tomorrow...

wednesday 9 november 2005 9:55pm

"sun comes up, sun sinks down
i've seen them both in this tourist town
couple days in the rain
just trying to search my soul
for all the reasons and the answers why...
really don't know which way to go
so i'll just sit right here
and have another beer in mexico" -- kenny chesney "another beer in mexico"

it was a quiet wendesday around here.  maybe that's just what i wanted.  or maybe i didn't know what else to do on what seems like a wintry day.  either way, that's kind of how it went today and i'm fine with that.

i got to bed early last night, but i had a hard time trying to fall asleep, between the thoughts that never stop running through my mind and the caffeine and not being used to getting to bed quite so early in the evening.  but i did eventually get a bit of rest before that pesky alarm clock went off yet again this morning.  i got up, showered, got dressed, and headed out earlier than usual.  why not, right?

i stopped for a bagel on the way to the office, and then i was off to work.  i spent all day working hard.  there were lots and lots and lots of things for me to do, which was fine.  i feel like i got a million things accomplished, and by about 4:30 i was pretty much done with everything on my plate.  and it was a good thing, too, because that's about the time that jan got bored and decided he should fuss with something unnecessarily.  the art department room is quite dark.  we have one main lamp that's usually on, and other than that we mostly rely on natural light.  we like it that way because it's much easier to see the monitors, especially when dealing with color.  but now it's getting darker before we leave the office, which means it's quite dark in the art department by 4:30.  jan decided he should try and turn the light sensor that's on the ceiling on so that the fluorescent lights (which we never ever ever use because they're way too bright) would come on.  and then he pulled that thing off the ceiling so it's hanging by wires.  and it didn't take him long to decide to turn the lights back off.  anyway, it was all quite hilarious as it turned out to not go as smoothly as jan had planned.  and after jan gave up on getting that thing back onto the ceiling, it was well after 5 and i was ready to head out.

i went to the y to work out on the bike there for a bit, which was fine.  i read "time," which was good because i learned about important things like the rioting in france and alito and other various issues that i knew only a little about.  and then i headed home and got cleaned up.

tonight has been really mellow.  there's not much on tv that i like on wednesdays, to start.  and country music on my tv has been an excellent choice.  also, i made myself a delicious dinner!  i made angel hair pasta, which i put tomato sauce on and some crushed red pepper for a kick.  so delicious! :)  this could easily become the new food.  generally, i'm stuck on some food.  and i want it all the time.  and then eventually i move on to something else.  well, i've been between foods for awhile now, but this pasta could be it.  and i have apple pie in my fridge, so a slice of that is calling my name!  also tonight, i chatted with sarah and josh both online.  seems they're both doing fine. :)  and that clean laundry is still waiting for me to tend to it.  i should get to that.  so i'll do that, treat myself to some pie, and enjoy the country music.  good night!

tuesday 8 november 2005 9:53pm

"now i know i don't tell you nearly enough
that i couldn't live one day without your love
when i'm a ship tossed around on the waves
up on a high wire that's ready to break
when i've had just about all i can take
baby, you, baby, you save me" -- kenny chesney "you save me"

i've been running about 100 miles a minute all day long, but somehow, i am not really sure where to starting writing.  i mean, i know i usually start at the beginning and go 'til now, but still.  i'm not sure what to say.  it was a good day, but it also left me tired.  i'm worn out.  and perhaps that's more a result of being up so crazy late last night, but also i think i sort of wore myself out today.  and the laundry from last night is still in a semi-folded pile because i still have not yet put it all away. :)

so i was of course really tired this morning when i got up.  6 hours of sleep hardly cuts it, especially two nights in a row.  but you know, i do it to myself.  i like the other stuff i'm up doing.  i like seeing "conan."  i like being awake at 1am.  it's quiet.  but anyway, i didn't want to hear that alarm quite yet, but i got up anyway and got cleaned up.  i put on some clothes and headed out as quickly as possible, just throwing my wet hair up in a bun.  i had places to stop on my way to work and i left later than i had wanted to.  first, the donut shop.  it was crazy busy, but i got a donut and headed on up the road to starbucks.  the second stop. :)  i hadn't had it in awhile but it sounded wonderful on a cloudy morning when i was so dizzyingly tired.  so i ordered my venti (that's the huge one) decaf nonfat white mocha.  the decaf as big as a venti has enough caffeine in it to keep me going.  well, the guy taking my order conveniently forgot to record that i wanted decaf, so when the guy making my drink handed it to me and didn't tell me it was decaf i knew it wasn't.  great.  but i was already late (not that anyone at work really cares but i care because that's how i am), so i just took it and ran.

a major dose of caffeine in hand, i made it to work.  and i proceeded to drink (and thoroughly enjoy) the whole thing. :)  it was so good!  but of course, that meant that i was totally wired for the whole day.  seriously!  i can totally tell when i've had that much drugs.  at least i was awake, though, right?  and i was super productive today, getting my section of the first magazine ready for ad placement tomorrow, making as many figures for the next magazine as i had information for, and also getting six reprints together.  that's a lot for a day when i was only at work exactly 8 hours and also went to lunch with the gang at san clemente pizza co. and the post-lunch field trip to staples for 2006 calendars.  fun fun! ;)  haha!  and i even drove, which has never happened before (oddly).

after work, i headed straight to the salon that's in the shopping center next to the apartment.  i had an appointment with bobby for a haircut!  yay!  i love haircuts with bobby! :)  it'd been 4 months, so i figured it was once again time.  and once again, bobby did a great job!  he actually listens when i tell him i just want the ends trimmed! :)  yay!  so i can tell that i for sure got a haircut because it's looking much healthier, but probably no one else will notice because it's still long.  so great!  also, i let bobby style it and everything afterwards because... well... why not?

after bobby, i went to the y for a swim.  i know, this wasn't the coolest thing to go do after a fresh haircut, but i did it anyway.  it was a good time.  one of the nice old men said hello, like usual.  he recognizes me now. :)  and my swim went well.  and then i came straight home and got cleaned up, washing my hair for the third time today (though, technically, bobby did the washing the second time).

after a bit of dinner and chatting with dad on the phone, i threw on some jeans and headed back out.  this time i was target-bound for an exciting new music tuesday!  i've been looking forward to this one for awhile now! :)  it's kenny chesney day!  i had to pick up his new album, of course, and getting it at target meant 4 bonus tracks.  i haven't listened to all of it yet, but so far so so so so good! :)

and then i came back home and watched the new episode of "gilmore girls," which was totally and completely excellent!  yay for jess coming back!  and yay for luke sponsoring the girls' soccer team, who kicked ass!  haha!  i really like that show!  and so what if it made me cry, huh? ;)

and now, well, now i need to go to bed.  it's either that or get to putting away all this clean laundry.  good night!

monday 7 november 2005 9:27pm

"i've done all that i know to do
and second-guessed my every move
and i can't help but wonder how it might have been
if i had two dozen roses and an old bottle of wine
if i really could've hung the moon would it change your mind
if i could cry a little harder and get a little less sleep at night
if i had two dozen roses would it change your mind" -- shenandoah "two dozen roses"

that's a little bit of a classic i heard tonight while driving around and thought definitely needed to be on this journal somewhere. :)  i love that song.

it was for sure a monday.  i was way less than anxious to get out of bed this morning when that alarm clock started going off, but of course i did it anyway because i'm crazy responsible like that.  i don't even really know how to snooze button works because i've never used it.  so anyway, i got up and showered and all of that.  i scraped together a little breakfast and then headed off to work, stopping for gas on the way since the gas light was already on.

work today was... busy.  it was good in that in kept me busy all day long, but it was tiring.  there are lots of things for me to be working on and i'm doing my best.  it's just not always the most fun thing in the world.  on a monday, when i'm feeling tired and a bit restless as well, it's more like just work.  but anyway, i spent about half my day on layout and the other half on figures for the next magazine, and by the time 5 rolled around i couldn't even see what i was working on anymore.  i couldn't tell what parts of figures i had already made and what still needed my work.  so i headed out, which i what i get do at 5 if i want. :)

for lunch, we were a bit adventurous (me, in particular, because i'm not that fond of sandwiches) and went to a new place.  jan, jenna, marke, melissa, and i went to sandwich buddies just down the road from our office, and i had a spicy chicken parmesan sandwich, which turned out to be pretty decent (if also too large and too expensive).  new places!  don't get on me about being a picky eater! ;)

after work, exhausted and no longer hosting guests to watch the football game, i went to the gym for a quick workout.  i just wanted to get something in really quick and then get home for the colts-patriots game.  so i rode the bike, which went well, and then headed home and got cleaned up.

the football game was... well... it was alright.  i was rooting for tom brady and it didn't go so well, but i still love him!  mom and i even bonded over how adorable he was on that "60 minutes" interview last night when he was asked where he'd be if he could be anywhere in the world doing anything he wanted.  he said he'd be in scotland with him mom and dad playing golf!  :)  with his parents! :)  so sweet!  in case i haven't already mentioned it, he went to my brother high school, serra.  rawk!

and then i did laundry.  lots of laundry!  :)  it really did need to happen, so whatever.  and now, hours after i actually started writing this entry, it's finally done.  of course, it's not all put away yet, but it's late so i'm putting it off until tomorrow.  it's folded enough to keep it from being all wrinkled, but it's just not all away. :)  plus, i have been up to other things!

i talked to sarah for awhile.  and i even helped her with her homework, reading a review she wrote to give her some feedback.  and she needs to come live on my couch soon.  i also talked to meg, which hasn't happened in far too long because she's been busy moving and all that.  she's coming down for a visit in a couple weeks, though, which is definitely exciting!  we'll hang out and consume lots of frozen yogurt! :)

and of course, the most exciting part of monday nights... new episode of "laguna beach!"  yay!  it was a good one and i might have been crying at the end.  so?  haha!  i love jason!  i know i'm not supposed to because he's a bad boy and really doesn't treat anyone well, but i do!  and i just might die at the end of the season when there are no more new episodes on monday nights.  (though they're for sure making a season 3!)  at least i have all the episodes recorded so i can watch them whenever i'd like! :)

and now that it's quite late, i'm surrounded by mostly-folded clean laundry, and there are clean sheets on the bed, i think it's time for me to crash.  i already know i'm going to need starbucks or a diet coke or something caffinated in the morning.  great, i'm turning to drugs! ;)  anyway, good night.  more next time...

sunday 6 november 2005 10:45pm

"you can't kill it with goodbye
it always finds a place to hide
inside your heart for your whole life
love is never-ending
when the lights have all gone down
it'll still be hangin' 'round
even when you think it's lost it can still be found
when every memory has been made
and the pages start to fade
and every prayer you ever prayed is heaven-bound
when you think the ride is over
you're back at the beginning
love is never-ending" -- brad paisley "love is never-ending"

it was such a good sunday, and really i did nothing at all all day.  and what's even better is that as i write this i haven't even been awake 12 hours. :)  i do like sundays.  i like the pace of them: slow.

i slept in late today.  it was not a conscious decision.  i just slept until i was ready to get up and when i checked the clock it was nearly noon.  but i get to do that on sundays when i have zero things planned. :)  and i must say that i enjoyed myself immensely.  i never really sleep in like that any more.  but i still love it!

and since i was definitely up way too late to make it to 11am mass, i was in absolutely no hurry to move very far.  so i didn't. :)  i went and got the newspaper from the doorstep, and curled up in a blanket on the couch while reading it.  the ads are getting better and better as the holidays approach, so that is fun for me!  they're my favorite part of the newspaper anyway. :)  and i spent a while just lounging.  i had whatever football game was on on, though i was mildly annoyed it wasn't the oakland-kansas city game on my tv.  after the game that was on ended, though, they switched me to the chiefs game, which was so excellent!  they went for the game-winning touchdown on the last play of the game, and made it and it was awesome!  oh, my chiefs!  they're so great! :)

i spent some time cleaning up around the apartment.  there were clothes all over the place, magazines everywhere, and just stuff strewn about.  i just needed to pick things up and put them where they belong and all that.  i like the apartment much more when it's tidy like it is now. :)  so what if i like to be organized? ;)

eventually, i decided i should get cleaned up.  there were a couple errands i wanted to run and i was not going to do them in my t-shirt and sweats.  so i got ready and headed out.  i had a cd to return at best buy.  you can't do it without a receipt but they game me a "one-time exception."  i had to exchange it for something, though.  no cash (duh).  no store credit (odd).  so i now have the latest brad paisley album, "time well wasted."  so far so good! :)  the next two stops were less of a hassle.  returns at michael's and barnes and noble.  and i even resisted doing shopping at b&n and came straight back home instead. :)

once back at home, i found another little thing i needed to straighten.  the cds.  i had them loose and in piles and lots (43) of them were not yet in the alphabetized books, so i wanted to take care of that.  it's quite a chore.  so i got them all into order and i even had to put many of them into a third book.  but now i'm pleased to report that they're all there and in order.  they're much safer from scratching (i am rough on my cds, but only out of love) there. :)  yep, organizing freak.

and i watched a lot of tv tonight (you know, because the football i watched all day somehow doesn't count as watching tv ;)), and i got that kicked off with "60 minutes."  i know, i know, that's not exactly what most 22-year-old girls are watching on sunday nights.  but i have a reason!  i don't normally watch anything so... educational.  local hero and beautiful man, tom brady was being interviewed! :)  and i adore tom brady!  and he's playing against the other amazing quarterback these days, peyton manning, tomorrow night on monday night football!  anyway, he was so great on "60 minutes!"

after a little dinner and while i started recording "desperate housevives" and "grey's anatomy," i got started on my sunday night manicure/pedicure session.  and i really needed it!  the toes are now a wine sort of red and the fingers are light pink, and i'm pleased.  just a little treat for myself, you know?  and once all 20 nails had polish, i watched "desperate housewives" and "grey's anatomy" and got to fast-forward through all the commercials and finished only couple minutes after 11!  it worked out perfectly! :)  and oh my goodness, i do love those shows!  they are so great!

now, i should probably be getting to bed.  i've been awake almost 12 hours! ;)  hehe!  i need to be rested for another crazy week of work, though.  more tomorrow after the football game.  good night!

sunday 6 november 2005 12:25am

"life ain't always beautiful
some days i miss your smile
i get tired of walking all these lonely miles
and i wish for just one minute
i could see your pretty face" -- gary allan "life ain't always beautiful"

i like saturdays. :)  i really do!  i mean, they're relaxing and fun and good.  and today was no exception.  i kind of didn't know what to expect of today and the plans kept changing, but it really did turn out quite well. :)

first off all, i got the day started perfectly by sleeping in late.  in all actuality, it wasn't really that late because i was up so late that i only ended up getting about 8.5 hours of sleep, which is not even close to the excessive but wonderful 12-12 split.  so anyway, that was nice, and once i did actually get out of bed, i just moved from my bed to my couch.  oh, i love that couch! :)  haha!  so anyhow, i watched a bit of tv and made myself meal number one for today.  and then after an episode of "coach" that i was watching ended, the latest version (the one with harrison ford) of "sabrina" came on and i'd never seen that movie but thought i might like it so i sat and watched it. :)  and i did enjoy it thoroughly.  plus, lying on the couch watching a movie seemed like a really great idea for a saturday. :)

then i decided that i would bake the apple pie that's been in my freezer since i made those two pies but baked only one.  and yeah, the second time around it's still very delicious! :)  and i even tried to document the recipe while i was thinking about it so that it won't be too hard to recreate these pies again.  thanksgiving maybe?  only if mom will let me into the kitchen to bake (she doesn't like me baking because she claims i don't clean up after myself :)).

i eventually decided that i should shower.  so i did. :)  and then i lounged around the apartment some more.  i talked to kath on the phone for a bit since it had been too long.  she's studying hard for tests.  no fun.  i finally got my halloween jack-o-lantern into a garbage bag.  it's not good to wait a week after halloween to do this.  it was totally rotten and moldy and disgusting, but i did bag it up and bring it to the dumpster all myself.  and i even did the dishes that had been piling up in my sink for a couple days.

theni put on a cute outfit, switched to my new pink kate spade purse, and headed down to dana point to jenna's apartment.  marke and katrina were meant to meet us there, as well, but they had a family issue and couldn't make it.  so it was just jenna and me and we drove up to long beach to lea's house.  we met up with melissa, her boyfriend chris, and her friend marissa there, as well.  the six of us went to a thai/chinese restaurant, which would not be my first choice of types of food to eat, but it was still pretty good and we had a nice time at this random hole-in-the-wall place.  and then we went to a little gallery in long beach to see davy rothbart do a reading.  he's the creator of found magazine.  the idea of this publication is that it's a collection of notes people find just wherever and give to him to publish.  they're funny or sad or random or whatever.  it's hard to explain, but i promise it is quite rad.  (you can google it yourself to find out.)  anyway, tonight was the long beach stop on his nationwide tour.  he read a story from a book he just wrote.  his brother, peter, sang some songs, including beautiful ones he'd written, the always wonderful "please come to boston," and the hilarious "the booty don't stop."  and then davy shared some more notes and items found, which he did an excellent job of reading.  i picked up the found book while i was there, which is cool to browse.  and since he was there, i had him sign it, as well.  and there was an afterparty at a bookstore around the block, so we all went there for a little bit, also.  it was such a fun night out!

and now i'm back home and pretty much ready to crash.  i have nothing planned for sunday, other than a mani/pedi night, but i'm looking forward to some sleep, maybe some cooking, and some reading.  good night!

friday 4 november 2005 11:58pm

"i ain't through with you yet
get up, i ain't through with you yet" -- gary allan "nickajack cave"

and now i get a minute to just rest. :)  awesome!  thank goodness it is friday because i am tired!

ok, so first, let's just talk about how i stayed up entirely too late last night.  i mean, i saw jake gyllenhaal on conan last night, and if i'm up late enough to be seeing the guests on conant i'm up at least an hour and a half past my bedtime.  well, if i had an official bedtime, anyway.  no matter what, i was up late for no good reason other than i that i kind of felt like being awake late at night.  i like to be awake late.  and i'm stubborn enough to do it despite the consequences in the morning.  actually, though, when that alarm clock went off this morning i was ok.  if 7 hours wrecks me way more than 6 really.  anyway, i got up, showered, and got dressed.  pink for fridays is always good news! :)

on the way to work i stopped at the i <3 bagels for a bagel for me and a bagel for marke.  and then i headed down to the office.  i had a zillion things to accomplish today, so i ended up working pretty hard all day long.  i mean, i was going and going and going, just trying to cross things off the list while also trying to deal with people who were requesting things back in unreasonable amounts of time.  but you know, working all day, eating lunch in the office, and skipping the poker game allowed me to get enough done today.  everyone got what they needed.  i got the figures (which seemed never-ending this month) done for the first magazine.  so i'm in really good shape!  and i'm so happy about that.  plus, we always have fun around the office.  we laugh and talk and whatever while we're working, so it wasn't like the day was not enjoyable.  it was a good day around the office!  they keep me laughing around there, which i always appreciate!

after work, i skipped the invite to happy hour at taco surf so that i could go to the mall.  it was, i must say, a long week around the office and i just wanted a little quiet time shopping.  plus, i'd been looking forward to it since wednesday when i heard the nordstrom half-yearly sale was starting!  anyway, so i went up to the shops at mission viejo to check out the sale at nordstrom and to just sort of wander around.  i like doing that, you know. :)  i should not be allowed to go to the mall.  who lets me go there?!?  haha!  i got myself in a little bit of trouble.  shocking, i know.  i might have come away with a brand new, discounted, beautiful handbag.  it might be a pink kate spade.  oh, it's so pretty!  :)  plus, i found more of the pajamas i've been loving from the gap and a new banana republic sweater.  so i pretty much cleaned up.  and it was totally fun!

after spending a little more than i had anticipated at the mall, i skipped having dinner out and instead came home and made myself a nice pasta dinner.  so delicious and basically free! :)  and i hung out around the apartment for a bit not doing a whole lot.  i watched "what i like about you," which i've been enjoying a lot lately.  and i talked to mom because the rest of the family wasn't home.

i eventually headed back out again.  i went just up to the mann to see "shopgirl."  i'd been wanting to see this movie for what seems like ages but now it was so convenient that i just had to go, so i went to the late showing.  it was great!  steve martin is so awesome in it!  and i only cried a little, which we know is pretty good for me.  the movie wasn't exactly what i thought it would be, but it was good.  it was more artsy than i anticipated, and in a good way.  anyway, i'd recommend the film. :)

and now i'm just enjoying jay, and i plan on watching conan, as well.  and then i'll crash.  i'm quite tired, after all! :)  and i'll sleep in tomorrow morning because i can.  and then... well... you'll just have to wait to hear about tomorrow...  good night!

thursday 3 november 2005 10:23pm

"i'm tired of crying without warning
and staying up 'til morning
baby, won't you come home...
i must confess that i've been unhealthy
please get on back here, baby, you will see
living without you is gonna kill me" -- jon randall "baby won't you come home"

i'm in such a good mood!  :)  i have no particularly wonderful reason why i should be, except why shouldn't i be?  or maybe i have a swimmer's high (like runner's high).  or maybe i have a sugar high.  or maybe it's just that it was a good day in sunny so cal so i don't get to complain much. :)  no matter what, i'm feeling great this thursday night sitting on my couch in sweats and watching country music videos.

i did manage to get quite a bit accomplished last night after i awoke from my very inappropriate nap. :)  i talked to the family, which was a good thing because it was mom's birthday.  she was too busy studying for an exam to really celebrate, though.  and i talked to dad for awhile, which was good.  he gave me a rundown on the propositions and measures on that ballot that's been in my hands way too long.  i needed to vote.  anyway, so i took care of the voting and my ballot is now in the mail on it's way to... well... wherever it goes. :)  and also i read a bit of that media law book as a refresher, which was good, even if i didn't have a chance to talk to anyone about it today.  and i got to bed right as dave was coming on, so i did a pretty good job of getting the rest i obviously needed very badly.

this morning i was up a couple minutes before the alarm, which is one of my least favorite things ever, because the guy who lives below me was slamming something.  he does it quite frequently, actually.  i think he bangs the closet doors into the walls on the ends (if that makes sense, i'm not exactly sure how else to describe it) really hard for whatever reason.  it's the only time i hear him at all, but he does it like 4 or 5 times a day at least.  anyway, it woke me up.  lame.  but at least i was ready to get up by the time the second alarm went off and he had already made that really loud bang twice.  so i got cleaned up, had some breakfast, put on gaucho pants (only appropriate in so cal in november), and headed off to work.

work today was good in that i got a lot of stuff done.  lots and lots of figures for the magazine, as well as lots of other little things that were piling up.  of course, there are still more figures to be done for tomorrow and other little tasks here and there, but i can really only accomplish so much in one day of work.  i really wanted to listen to my own music today and melissa already had hers playing out loud, so i put on the headphones and worked away.  i get more done that way, as well, because less people disturb me or distract me if i have them on.  it's kind of like closing the door to my office.  you know, if i wasn't one of 3 people without an office.

at lunchtime, i went to sav-on in san clemente because they were having a flu shot clinic and i wanted to get a flu shot.  i don't do the flu.  and i have way too much interaction with people who could very easily give me the flu.  so i went and waited in line with all the old people and nurses for me to pay someone to stick a needle in my arm.  actually, it wasn't bad at all.  the most painful part of the whole process was the hour spent standing in an extremely slow-moving line.  but anyway, i have now been immunized, so when you get the flu i can still hang out with you.  as long as we're not talking avian flu, of course! ;)  and as a little treat post-immunization, i stopped at super bowl, which was just down the street, to pick up lunch to go.  teriyaki chicken bowl and diet coke is such a delicious lunch!

after work, at at this point it was quite late and very dark out, i headed to the y for a swim.  i must say that i'm loving swimming more and more.  when i'm there, the other men there are obsessed with swimming.  they always say how they love ending their day with a swim.  am i turning into them?  at least it's a healthy obsession.  i somehow always end up having a brief chat with one of the old men in a lane next to me.  not any specific man.  just whatever man i happen to be swimming next to that night.  and i don't mind at all because they're just nice and friendly.  but tonight, the guy (not one i have ever seen before) was totally hitting on me!  ick!  "come here often?"  "i'm new in town?"  "do you cook?  because there are lots of good restaurants around here."  yes, he used all of those.  i'm trying to swim!  sheesh!  at least it's a funny story!  i got hit on in the pool at the y by an old man while i was working out swimming in a very conservative black bathing suit while wearing goggles.  yeah.  so weird!  haha!

after i got home and got cleaned up, i went out to the mailbox to see if there was anything exciting waiting for me in it.  there totally was! :)  my new sports illustrated subscription started coming! :)  and catalogues!  i just want to take a minute to say how much i love catalogues!  i love them!  first, reading them is a form of shopping, which we already know i love.  and second, they're printed material, which i also love (duh -- it's what i do for a living).  and they're so pretty. :)  i love getting them, all glossy and colorful.  and i can just flip through them whenever.  they don't take much concentration, but they're totally entertaining when i don't have anything else to do.  anyway, yay for christmastime catalogues!

of course, i haven't read any of the catalogues i received. :)  i'll get to those when there's less on tv.  after making a little dinner and talking to dad for a bit, i watched "the oc" and "everwood."  i must say, i love "everwood" more with each new episode!  it's so good! and i ate strawberry sour punch.  and i've been talking to sarah online for hours now, which is always a good time! :)  so it's been a good night, even if i've really just been sitting here.

and now?  well, right about now i'm wishing i weren't a grownup and that i didn't have to get up to go to work tomorrow morning.  i would much rather stay up really late (at least late enough to see conan) and sleep in tomorrow morning.  but i guess i should get to bed and get some rest.  good night!

wednesday 2 november 2005 8:52pm

"give this changed man one more last chance
open your arms to me wherever you are" -- jack ingram "wherever you are"

boy oh boy, this couch where i sit and write to you nightly has this crazy effect on me.  it has the magical ability to put me to sleep, even when i have no intention of going to sleep and probably really shouldn't be falling asleep. :)  oops!

wednesday was good.  i got some good sleep last night and was pretty much ready to get out of bed by the time the alarm clock went off this morning.  so i got up and got clean.  i found myself some breakfast, and i put on cute jeans, a t-shirt, and crazy high heels, and i headed off to work for a wednesday.

work today went really well.  i got lots and lots of figures done for the magazine, which is great because i really do need to have those done by friday.  and they're looking good, especially now that we've talked about what direction i should head in when making them and we chose a new orange for our palette that i like about a hundred times more than the old one! :)  oh, it's all about the details in this job, isn't it?  also, at some point this morning john came into the art department wanting to talk about copyrights.  i happened to open my big mouth about having taken media law in college and all of a sudden now i'm meant to brush up on my copyright knowledge and help john in gathering materials.  great.  ;)  i really don't mind, actually, except that i'm crazy tired at this exact moment and don't much feel like reading my media law book.  is this what homework feels like?  i was just starting to forget! ;)  anyway, i still have more figures to make tomorrow, as well as a whole host of other small tasks that piled up today, so i'm sure it'll be a busy thursday, as well.  also, i never even left the office today because i just ate yesterday's leftover pizza for lunch.  it's sad because it was dark by the time i left the office, so i had a serious lack of sunshine today.

after work, i headed up to the y to work out a bit.  my "in style" magazine and i hit the gym, which was fine.  not exactly an exciting way to spend an evening, but it was good nonetheless.  it was busy around there today!  and when i finished, i just headed home.

i got cleaned up for the second time today.  i found myself a bit of dinner and i started to just relax on the couch when all of a sudden i found myself very much asleep.  eight o'clock on a wednesday night is an entirely inappropriate time for a nap, really, but it just sort of happened.  oops! :)  but i have now convinced myself that i'm not allowed to just scoot on over to bed and crash for the night.  i wanted to write this, i need to vote asap if i plan on having my ballot counted, and that media law book is definitely waiting for me.  good thing there's absolutely nothing on tv tonight to entertain me during all of this.  oh, well.  when all else fails, there's always country music available on my tv. :)  so i'm off to watch/listen to a bit of that, read about copyright as a refresher, and perhaps even vote (that might be overly ambitious, though).

it's mom's birthday today (as well as dia de los muertos)!  :)  happy birthday to her, even though i know she doesn't read this.  good night, all.  more tomorrow...

tuesday 1 novmeber 2005 10:37pm

"baby, i must confess
we were bigger than anything
remember us at our best
and don't forget about us
late nights playing in the dark
and waking up inside my arms
boy, you'll always be in my heart and
i can see it
you still want it
so don't forget about us" -- mariah carey "don't forget about us"

november in laguna can be quite nice, i must say.  :)  or at least november got off to a really good looking start!  and yet somehow, i didn't manage to spend way too many hours indoors and not nearly enough outdoors.  such is the life of a grown-up, apparently, and i'm not loving that.

so i did make it to bed quite early last night, and i still woke up quite tired.  oh, well.  i got up with the alarm, put on gaucho pants (which, in most other places are entirely inappropriate for the first day of november), and headed off to work after grabbing a quick bite to eat first.

work today was pretty good.  i'm just getting started on the magazines for the month, and i'm also tending to little "chores" here and there as they come up.  nothing too crazy or exciting, but these are the things that are my job, so i'm willing to do any of them, really. :)

at lunchtime, i was definitely willing to take jenna up on her offer to go to the del mar section of san clemente (which i think is their downtown) for lunch.  i knew it was an absolutely gorgeous day out -- the kind of day best spent tanning on a beach in laguna instead of in an over-airconditioned office working on a computer -- and i figured that this would be a great way to get some good sunshine time in.  so jenna, stacey, larissa, and i went down to del mar to a little deli called tina & vince's, and i had pizza because it seemed like a good choice.  it was quite nice, and i have lots of leftovers, which i will eat for the next couple days.  and then we walked up the street a bit and looked in a couple cute little boutiques, which was nice. :)  it was totally a good lunch break!

after work, it was depressingly dark already.  i had considered going to the stairs to work out, but it was too dark for that.  instead, i went to the pool for a swim, which was excellent.  i had a great swim, and the old man in the next lane was pleasantly chatty. :)

then i came home, got cleaned up really quickly, and then headed back out for errands.  first stop: ralph's for that new barilla plus pasta, which i ran out of a couple days ago, some sauce, and brown sugar.  next stop: trader joe's for cheese, milk, butter (yes, the dairy group is covered), and tortillas.  final stop: golden spoon for half peanut butter half chocolate fro-yo which i would have for dessert.  :)

i got home and made myself some dinner and then had the frozen yogurt for dessert.  i was extremely tempted to just do dessert first, but i resisted and the fro-yo help up quite nicely in my freezer. :)  then i spent a good portion of my night chatting.  first it was with sarah online, which was nice (as always).  then it was with megs online.  then it was with the family on the phone, even though they called but were all apparently too busy to pay much attention to our conversations.  ;)  whatever!

and now i have an episode of "gilmore girls" waiting for me to watch it and i'm totally 100% tired, so i'm going to go to sleep and i'll catch up on that later.  good night!  more tomorrow...

monday 31 october 2005 9:41pm

"you need a man around here
you can't do it all by yourself
to me it's painfully clear
that you could use a little help
someone to kill the spiders
change the channel and drink the beer
seems to me that you sure need
a man around here" -- brad paisley "you need a man around here"

happy halloween, my dear readers! :)  i'm not huge on halloween but i did have quite and good day celebrating this very odd holiday. :)  so no complaining out of me.  (lucky you! ;))

ok, let me start by saying that i absolutely did not cry during last night's "grey's anatomy," even though everyone told me that i was going to.  i win! :)  actually, i loved the episode, but did not find it particularly more moving than any of the other episodes.  i think there have only been one or two that have made me cry.  but anyway, it was a great way to wrap up my weekend.

i got to bed at a decent hour last night, which was good because i had to get up a few minutes early this morning in order to have time to fully prepare myself for halloween at the rtc group.  so i got up this morning and got dressed and all made up and headed off to work dressed as... a princess! :)  i wore a tiara that i had dad bring me and that pretty blue dress i bought about a year ago and have only worn once before during a dinner party liz and i threw.  and i put on huge earrings and silver heels.  so i was looking quite pretty, if i'm allowed to say that about myself. ;)

work today was great!  nearly everyone was dressed up.  melissa was a construction worker, complete with hard hat, toolbelt, and mustache.   jenna was dorothy.  other great costumes were a pirate, an evil maid, witches, a nurse, and a cowgirl.  it was cool to see what other people came up with.  it was also pretty funny when someone going to the dentist (it's next door to us in our building) caught me coming out of our office and just starting laughing. :)  also, the whole rtc gang went out to lunch together at duke's in san clemente.  we ended up sort of parading ourselves through that restaurant when we arrived, which i think entertained the other diners, but that's fine.  and then once we all got back from lunch we were "dismissed."  we left shortly after 3, which was awesome!

of course, i was pretty single-minded when i was driving home at 3:30 in the afternoon on an 88-degree afternoon.  beach!  :)  yeah, baby!  so i dashed home, changed into shorts, and went to the beach in laguna.  i made it there around 4, and i ended up hanging out there for about an hour.  it was awesome!  i watched the sun set.  there were dolphins swimming about 20 feet from the edge of that water, right where waves were breaking.  the skimboarders were out.  so it was a great place to just sit and relax with a magazine. :)

i did eventually head home.  i wanted to be around for trick-or-treaters. :)  so i hung out around the apartment, watched the football game, made a delicious dinner, and greeted the trick-or-treaters who came by.  it was a good time. :)  and now, i'm watching the latest episode of "laguna beach" and then i'll crash because i'm sleepy!

hope your halloween was also awesome!  good night!

sunday 30 october 2005 9:13pm

"and i'm just no damn good, am i, baby
i'm just no damn good, i know it's true
'cause every day i go a little more crazy
i'm just no damn good
at not loving you
no good at not holding
no good at no seeing
no good at not showing you
how much i care" -- gary allan "no damn good"

it has been an absolutely wonderful weekend, and i think it was exactly what i needed when i needed it.  just when i was starting to get really antsy and restless with being here, i had a break of sorts.  a change of pace.  something new to keep me occupied.  and sorry for not updating last night but my computer was otherwise occupied.

yesterday morning, i was up earlier than i really wanted to be, but it was ok because i was on my way to john wayne to pick up dad, whose plane landed at 9:10am.  so anyway, i headed out, and of course dad called when i was just getting on the freeway to let me know his plane had already landed.  so i made it to the airport as quickly as i could, which was pretty quickly because early saturday morning is a good traffic time (if there is such a thing in la).  and i found dad already standing on the curb, so i picked him up and we were off.

it was a beautifully clear morning, and i know dad loves nice drives, so i decided that we'd just take pch back home, right along the coast through newport and laguna.  and it was a lovely drive, and dad enjoyed it very much, and we made it back to my apartment just fine.  and once we got here, dad helped me with a couple little chores like throwing the old tv away (we looked and looked but couldn't find a place to recycle it) and hanging my new mirror in the bedroom.

then dad and i headed out.  we went to comp usa so dad could (finally -- we've been talking about it for months) get me an external hard drive so i can back up my computer.  and then we went up to the spectrum because dad strongly prefers outdoor malls and i knew we'd find a good place to eat lunch there.  it was quite a nice day out.  so we decided to eat at the fox sports grill there, and we ate in the bar so we could watch the usc football game on huge screens, which was pretty cool!  and the food was very good! :)  then we walked around a bit, and i even got to look in the new anthropologie store, which just opened.  so great!  even if i didn't buy anything.

then we came back here for a relaxing afternoon.  we dozed off for naps and then watched the stanford-ucla football game, which was quite sad at the end, but at least it was interesting. :)  and really, it was nice to just be sitting around on saturday afternoon with dad.  also, he started cleaning up my computer, and he also installed the printer that was still in its box from about 4 months ago. :)  i just hadn't even gotten to it and i never had an emergency, so i didn't hook it up myself.  but now it works.

we eventually got ourselves up off the couch and headed out again.  we went to downtown laguna to find dinner.  i hadn't even really been down there at night, but there's so much going on and lots of people and everything.  it was great!  we ended up eating (a very delicious deepdish pizza) at bj's, and i even convinced dad that we should order their amazing dessert, which if you don't already know, is a cookie baked in a little pizza dish and then topped with ice cream, and it's wonderful!

then we came home and watched "bend it like beckham," because dad hadn't ever seen it and it seemed like a perfectly good choice for our saturday night.  and then we watched "snl" before crashing.

this morning, i slept in, which worked out just fine with the time change because it wasn't late at all by the time i got up and out of bed.  dad was (of course) already awake and had already gone over to starbucks for coffee and taken a walk around the neighborhood.  he spent more of the morning fussing with the computer while we watched a bit of football.

eventually, though, we both got cleaned up and headed out on an absolutely gorgeous morning.  we went down to rj's cafe in dana point right near the harbor and had a delicious breakfast sitting outside in the sunshine.  i like that little cafe.  it just feels like a good place for a leisurely sunday breakfast, and rj is the one who seats you and takes your payment.  it's just a cute little place. :)  and then we went just down the block to the pumpkin patch they had there, so i could pick out a pumpkin to carve.  i did just that.  a good, oddly-shaped one that would be a good canvas for a crooked face.

then we came home and i drew a funny little face on my pumpkin.  actually, it was quite a large pumpkin compared to what i would normally pick out and it was quite a large face because of that.  but anyway, then dad carved it out because that's really what i mean when i say i want to carve a pumpkin.  i want someone else to do it for me. :)  and he did a good job, so it's a fun now and sitting out on the landing in front of my door.  and dad and i walked over to the drugstore to pick up the ultimate halloween essential: candy! :)

then i brought dad back to john wayne so he could catch his flight back home.  it was so totally great to be able to spend my weekend with him.  he asked me if i ever thought, when i stepped outside, that it was just the most gorgeous day out or if he does that because he's on vacation.  if you read this, you know i do it all the time.  it's a beautiful place, here where i live.

anyway, this evening, i sorted out my halloween costume for tomorrow.  it's pretty much set so i can just put it on before i head out in the morning.  my first halloween at the rtc group.  wish me luck! ;

i made myself a nice pasta dinner, and i talked to some friends online, and i watched some football (yeah, tom brady!).  it's been quiet but totally enjoyable.  and now i'm watching "grey's anatomy," which i have been warned (by sarah and annahita both) will surely make me cry.  so far, no tears, but it's just getting started.  :)

so the weekend treated me quite well, and i'm ready for halloween, if i'm not particularly ready for monday again.  more tv and then i'm off to bed.  good night!

friday 28 october 2005 11:40pm

"so i'll say, 'why don't y and i get together
and take on the world and be together forever
heads we win, tails we'll try again'
so i say, 'why don't you and i hold each other
and fly to the moon and straight on to heaven'" -- carlos santana and alex band "you and i"

fridays are always good, even if that is mostly because they are followed by saturdays. :)  and this was no exception.  i thoroughly enjoyed the day.

well, my attempt to once again get to sleep early last night failed miserably, but i was tired enough to sleep pretty well, so at least there was that. :)  and when that alarm clock went off this morning, i was straight up and into the shower.  after getting cleaned up, i put on jeans and cute shoes and had some breakfast and headed off to work, newspaper in hand.

work today was good.  it was one of those days where i had plenty to keep me busy but none of it really required a whole lot of thinking, which was nice for a friday.  it was just easy stuff, like trying to get the st. jude's newsletter printed.  all 450 copies.  i would have made it by the end of the day, but the printer acts up.  melissa says it "gets tired," but i think it probably just needed a reboot or something.  but anyway, i spent a lot of the day making corrections to stuff and printing and things like that.  also, i found a little bit of time to play with the tricks i learned in that seminar yesterday afternoon.  live trace in illustrator is amazing!  :)  i know, geek.  whatever.  haha!

for lunch, jenna, melissa, and i just went up the road to z pizza for a quick bite.  in their frequent buyer club, i earned myself a free pint of ben & jerry's, so i'll be redeeming that coupon next time.  that'll be a good day! :)  oh, and my pizza lunch was, of course, delicious.

after work, i came home to watch a little tv and whatever.  of course, i ended up crashing out on the couch for a bit on accident, but it's friday so it doesn't really matter.  naps are great!  but i eventually woke up and decided that i should probably have a bit of dinner, so i did that.

then i headed out for a little evening outing. :)  i went up to costa mesa to the ikea there because they're having a sale this weekend because it's their 20th anniversary.  everything on sale!  :)  how could i skip that, really?  plus, i've been looking for a full-length mirror so that i can appropriately admire my shoes. ;)  anyway, i wandered all around ikea, and i ended up with a great new mirror.  and a new duvet set and matching sheets.  and two small rugs.  and a few other small things.  actually, it was a lot of fun because there's so much to see there.

and now, i'm just back home relaxing on the couch watching "sweet home alabama" on my tv.  i should be getting to bed relatively soon because i'm meant to pick up dad at the airport in the morning just after 9am.  but friday was good, and i'm thinking the rest of the weekend will follow suit. :)  good night.

thursday 27 october 2005 10:32pm

"but the struggle makes you stronger
and the changes make you wise
and happiness has its own way of taking its sweet time
no, life ain't always beautiful
tears will fall sometimes
life ain't always beautiful
but it's a beautiful ride" -- gary allan "life ain't always beautiful"

do you ever have one of those days where when you're in it you feel like nothing is going right and you're struggling to get anything done properly but at the end of the day you still believe it was a really good, really enjoyable day?  today i had one of those days.

i actually slept almost all the way through the night last night, and since i got to bed a bit earlier than in previous nights, i was feeling pretty good when i got up this morning.  i got cleaned up and dressed and had a good breakfast (knowing lunch was going to be questionable today), and then i headed out in my brown pants.  and as i started to walk down the stairs from my apartment, i realized those pants had a huge spot of them, so i had to go back and change.  lame!  oh, well.

then i got to work, and i was there working for about two hours.  we were all there only two hours.  we took off not too long after 11 for an afternoon out of the office.  we went up to mission viejo to a thai restaurant for lunch.  now you can probably guess that that was not my first choice of restaurants but i agreed to go there anyway because i don't want to prevent everyone else from eating food they love.  i figured i would find something to eat, and there would always be the fall-back food of rice.  well, i found chicken satay on the menu, which was totally edible and it came with a lot of rice.

and after my adventurous lunch, jenna, jan, melissa, and i went to an afternoon workshop in lake forest at a printing company.  they put on quarterly sessions on various topics and this one was on adobe creative suite 2, which is the bundle of software that we use to create our publications.  it includes photoshop, illustrator, and indesign.  and wow!  the seminar was great, and i learned about some absolutely incredible new features of these programs that i am so excited about trying out asap (probably in the morning when i get to work).  and that got out a little after 4, so we just headed out from there.

of course, i was at the gym far too early to be able to swim, so i settled for a session on the bike instead, which was good.  i have a good magazine to keep me entertained. :)  and then i headed home after that.

i've had a nice evening at home.  i thought it would be too many hours for me just sitting in this apartment since i was home about an hour earlier than normal.  i managed to be fine with it, though.  i spent some time talking to a couple friends online, which i absolutely needed.  i'm alone in this apartment, but not really at all when i have them to talk to.  and i also talked to the family a bit, which was good.  dad's coming down on saturday, and i'm totally looking forward to that!  and i also spent some time writing emails.  i also watched "everwood," which i love loved, especially the end with bright!  i thought bright was going to disappoint me, but he totally did not!  and then i also watched most of "the apprentice" while working on some other stuff.  it was quite good, actually!  and i don't always love that show.  but trump!  he made it good! :)

and now?  well, now i think i will try once again to get some sleep before tomorrow.  it should be a good day at work and there might be a trip to ikea involved because they're having a big weekend sale and i need a mirror.  i have no full-length mirror, so i'm having trouble admiring my shoes without standing on the bathroom counter, which can be quite dangerous in heels. ;) ok, go i'm off.  good night!

wednesday 26 october 2005 10:19pm

"when i look in my future you're all i can see
don't go loving on nobody but me
nobody but me gonna love you like you out to be loved on...
you can do what you want to
but i'm asking pretty please
honey, don't got loving on nobody but me" -- blake shelton "nobody but me"

i'm trying to get to bed earlier tonight.  i'm tired.  but we're not surprised by this fact.  so here it goes...

i got up like normal this morning, not at all ready for that alarm but willing to get out of bed anyway.  so i got into the shower and got cleaned up.  but after getting all dressed and ready and having breakfast, this morning was a bit different.  i had the pleasure (not so much, acutally) of waiting around for the cable guy to come.  with the new tv comes new service: high definition!  this is very exiting!  so anyway, they have to come and switch my cable box to a high def one that also includes a dvr (which, i fear, will become a very bad addiction).  they gave me a window of 8am-10am.  great.  so i'd be late to work but not too too late.  or that was what i was hoping.  at 9:15, he finally showed up and made it very clear that he was incompetent really.  this was going to take longer than i had anticipated, but he was out of here by 10:15.  he told me it worked, i believed him, and i went off to work.

work today was mellow.  it was quiet around the office with marke gone and not a thousand things to try to get done.  working on little things here and little things there was pretty much how i spent my day.  and for lunch, i just dashed to the post office (mailed a package and picked up muppets and arthur ashe stamps) and then grabbed food to go from z pizza.

and after work... well... of course i came straight home to check out the new high def service!  it's my new toy, after all! :)  and i had a little issue with the fact that the standard cable channels weren't working, but i got on the phone with cox and they fixed it.  and then i watched the baseball game in high def.  oh.  my.  goodness.  high def tv is amazing!  it looks so good!  i could see every whisker on those guys' faces.  i could see every blade of grass.  the graphics looked awesome.  the whole thing was just fantastic and now i really wish everything was broadcast in high def!  also, i'm ready to learn about the dvr features.  like that i can watch an instant replay of anything!  so cool! :)

i made cornbread for dinner.  don't judge me.  it was delicious!  it had actual whole pieces of corn in it, which i wasn't sure about, but it was great.  sometimes, i just want a ridiculous dinner, especially if i'm not hungry enough for a whole meal.  that's what i can do if i only am cooking for myself.

i also talked to the family a bit tonight.  adam was trying to work on a speech he volunteered to give at an admissions event for his high school.  i have no idea why he agreed to do it because it's not really his specialty, but whatever.  i can't wait to hear how it actually goes for him! :)

and then i relaxed on the couch.  like full-out relaxed.  it was me, lying down, cuddled in a blanket doing nothing but watch tv.  country music videos, actually.  and i started to nod off, when i decided i should get up, put on an actual tv show, and start getting ready for bed.  i discovered the standard cable channels weren't working again so i had to call cox again and have them fix it again.  it's going to be an issue if i have to do it again.  bah!  but for now, i watch "sex and the city." :)

and i'm tired.  tired tired.  i want to go to bed a bit earlier.  so good night, and more tomorrow...

tuesday 25 october 2005 11:07pm

"dear love i miss you much
i miss your smile and i miss your touch" -- brandi carlile "someday never comes"

hello!  greetings from my couch once again. :)  tuesday has been good to me, even if it also seems that it has been a pretty standard tuesday.  i'm feeling good about it. :)

it seems that i have been sacrificing sleep for life lately.  and really, i don't mind.  i mean, after all, it's my decision.  i could go to bed at 10 and get the hours that i think i need.  but i don't.  instead i choose to do other things with my time, and that's fine.  i quite enjoy it, really.  except for about three minutes each morning when that alarm clock goes off and i have to shut it off, get out of bed, and make my way to the shower.  by then end of the shower, i'm good, but it's just those few minutes where i wonder what moves me to sacrifice the sleep.  but i do.  and i will again tonight. :)  in fact, i think i already have.  and i have more planned for my night after i finish updating this.  not a whole lot more and not too too exciting, but just a little chore.

anyway, so i got up and got dressed (cute skirt, cute heels :)) and headed off to work after a little bit of breakfast.  work today was really good.  i spent all morning in a meeting with melissa and jenna about magazine standards.  we went through all the details to just make sure that we all do things the same so that the magazines have total consistency.  and we also made a few small changes to the layout that i think will look really nice when they're implemented in the november issues of the magazines.  and i feel like i have a lot more direction when making figures, tables, pages, and all that stuff.  so i'm happy with today's work.

for lunch, jenna, jan, melissa, and i went to wahoo's.  i like wahoo's for lunch, but i swear i end up eating very ridiculous meals when i go there.  today, my lunch was chips, a quesadilla, and french fries.  it was delicious, but it really was an odd combination of food (it's the fries that do it).  and there was some sunshine out, so that was exciting to see after so many days without it and a forecast that includes at least a couple more cloudy days.

after work, i went to the pool (and by that i mean the ymca pool, not either of the apartment pools).  i had a good swim in the lane next to kids taking swimming lessons, which was kind of interesting.  and with a heated pool, it's not bad at all out there, even when the weather is cooler than desirable.  the only problem with my whole swimming experience tonight was that the y was out of large towels so i was drying myself with a little towel like a hand towel.  it was soaked by the time i was done!  haha!  so little!

then i came home and got cleaned up.  i had a bit of dinner and talked to the family while watching some of the baseball game.  but i switched from the game to "gilmore girls" for an hour, which was so great!  i love that show and i love luke on it!  and then, to my surprise, it was back to baseball.  after 9 innings, i decided to leave because i needed to go to target really quickly.  i dashed there, picked up the couple things i needed, and headed straight back home.  and when i got home, i was again surprised by the fact that baseball was still on!  well, that game went nearly 6 hours.  crazy!  and now i'm watching the news and working on this and just relaxing.

so after i take care of a few more little things, i'll be off to bed for some serious rest.  more tomorrow.  good night. :)

monday 24 october 2005 10:41pm

"so let the morning light come in
and let the darkness fade away
can you turn my black roses red?
can you turn my black roses red?
drowning in my loneliness
how long must i hold my breath
so much emptiness inside i could fill the deepest sea
i reach to the sky as the moon looks on
one last year has come and gone
it's time to let your love rain down on me
can you turn my black roses red?" -- alana grace "black roses red"

for a monday, it was a good day.  and considering the gloomy, gray, drizzly weather, i am in a pretty good mood.  so here's pretty much how the day went...

well, i definitely did not make it to bed at any sort of reasonable hour last night/early this morning, so when that alarm clock went off i was thoroughly convinced that it could not yet be time for me to get out of bed.  but you know what?  it was.  so sad.  so i got up and jumped into the shower and got cleaned up.  i had a little breakfast (my toaster oven, which was a hand-me-down, is malfunctioning, or perhaps just non-functioning), and then got dressed.  i'm stubborn, so i don't really pay attention to the weather when getting dressed.  honestly, this morning i didn't even have a clue what the weather was.  i just put on my cute new pink polo and jeans and heels and headed out the door.  it only took me 10 seconds or so to realize that i probably wasn't dressed warm enough for the weather, but i headed out anyway. :)  and i wore my collar up for what i believe is the first time ever.  i've seen it around a lot lately, the collar on my polo had writing on the underside, and it seemed like a cute idea.  so i did it, and i got compliments, so there you go.

on the way to work, i realized i left my bank card at home on accident so i had to go to a different gas station than normal.  oops!  i should not be allowed to put things in my pockets ever.  it's how i lose them.  but no worries because i have it now.

work today was good.  because the magazines went out last week, it was a bit slower around the office and as far as my personal workload goes.  and the break is pretty nice. :)  i had a couple projects to work on (as always) but it was relaxed.  also, melissa was out today so it was very quiet in the art department.  and of course, i got to catch up on the latest hollywood gossip (it's quite the bad habit for me these days) and sports news.  and regular news.  i read the new york times, which happens, like, never. :)  and for lunch, i just went up the road to z pizza and brought that back to the office to eat at my desk while messing around online and reading articles and whatever else.  it's just a comfortable place to eat, especially when it is so ugly outside.

after work, i seriously considered just going home because i was feeling kind of lethargic.  but i eventually forced myself to go to the ymca instead.  i rode the recumbent bike for awhile.  it has armrests!  i know i wasn't really going to be moving my arms anyway and it did make it easier to hold the "time" magazine i was reading, but it just made me feel really lazy.  armrests!  it's basically a reclining chair.  but i did that anyway and then headed home.

when i got home, i got cleaned up really fast and then i put my work outfit back on.  i pretty much never do that and opt instead for a new outfit.  but i was loving the pink polo so much that i wanted more people to see me in it, so i put it back on before heading out.  i just went down the road to trader joe's to pick up a couple things for dinner.  since yesterday's dinner was not at all like what a sunday night dinner should be, i decided i would make it up to myself tonight.  i had a nice salad, ravioli, and bread.  it was absolutely delicious! :)

then i spent some time chatting with the family on the phone and chatting with friends online.  sarah and i are out of control.  :)  i was telling her that i wore my collar up today and she was disapproving and then she guessed, without me prompting her to even guess or anything like that, that i was wearing the pink target breast cancer research foundation polo.  yeah.  because apparently she just tried to buy herself one but her target didn't have her size.  so first she picked me up at the airport in syracuse wearing shoes that are the same as ones i own and now we both wanted the pink target polo.  and sarah doesn't even buy clothes at target!  oh, we are so totally meant to be friends!  i love it!

and tonight, i continued to feed my absolute worst/best/favorite addiction: "laguna beach."  on mondays, i get three episodes, including one new one.  so i watched.  and then i watched.  and then i watched some more.  and do you know what?  i loved every single second of it all!!!  i love that show! :)  i can't explain why and i don't really want to subject other people to it, but i love it!

and now, i will try to get a little bit of rest before tuesday. but in all honesty, i will probably instead watch tv for awhile, perhaps read a bit, and doddle around until i crash way too late.  so i'm off...

sunday 23 october 2005 11:11pm

"i want to live, i want to love
but i'm afraid my simple faith will never be enough
i want to laugh, i want to be set free
and let you hold all that my soul has deep inside of me
but i don't know where to start
it's on the tip of my heart
so would you take my hand because i'm sinking in
to this life i've made but don't understand" -- bebo norman "tip of my heart"

once again i find myself writing this at an hour later than i had planned.  but i suppose it's worth it and i will survive.  and i actually do like writing this in a way that i'm not going to explain.  but anyway, it was a good sunday overall.  there were good moments and less-than-good moments, but, you know, on the whole, it was nice.  it was sunday.

i got up a little bit earlier this morning so that i could be ready to get myself to 11:30 mass.  yes, i realize that this is in no way actually early, but in my world and when i stay up the night before until 2, it is early.  or at least earlyish.  so anyway, i got out of bed and got cleaned up and dressed.  i even put on cute brown heels and took the matching purse. :)

so i headed out to 11:30 mass.  and when i arrived at st. edwards, the parking lot was pretty quiet and very full.  i came to a realization pretty quickly.  i was late.  for 11:00 mass.  and i called the church phone number (with a little help from 411) to verify that in fact mass was at 11:00 and not 11:30.  i'm not sure why i thought it was at 11:30, but whatever.  i was too late to just go, so i flip-flopped my plan.  i drove back to laguna niguel to the halloween costume shop to find myself something to wear for halloween.  i didn't need a full costume because i'll be at work and i don't have any plans for the evening or anything besides just handing out candy to trick-or-treaters.  i just wanted something that i could put on at work to show i have halloween spirit.  or something like that.  halloween isn't actually my favorite holiday, but you know.  so i picked out a little item to wear. :)  you'll have to wait to find out what though.

and then i drove back to dana point to st. edwards for 12:30 mass.  and i was early this time, not late.  and mass was pretty good despite the crying babies and squirming children everywhere.  it's not that i mind children in church.  don't get me wrong.  it's just that i find them a distraction sometimes when i'm trying to focus.  but anyway, it was a good mass, and i'm glad i went.  also, they had a st. vincent de paul truck outside afterwards, so i donated some old clothes that i had cleaned out of my closet awhile back.  oh, and during mass they handed out cards for people to fill out if they're new to the parish or have changed addresses.  so i officially joined the st. edwards parish!  pretty cool, right?

after mass,  i came home and watched a couple episodes of "sportsnight."  of course, they were so excellent! :)  and i read a magazine while relaxing on the couch and the football game was on.  i decided i should call grandma because it's her birthday and she's 89!  so i rang her and we had a nice little chat and she seemed quite excited to hear from me.  the family took her out to a chinese buffet yesterday for lunch, so she was stoked.  and she was happy to hear i'll be home for thanksgiving.  and then i talked to the family.  adam wanted me to send him some rascal flatts music so that he can "pick up chicks."  duh.  i could have told him that all he had to do was tell the ladies that he knows their music and they'll be all stoked on him.  so he's just getting wise, and you know i was happy to spread the rascal flatts!  and then i crashed for a little bit before the baseball game.

i woke up right as the baseball game was starting.  i watched a few innings of that and also made myself some dinner.  if heating up leftover pizza qualifies as "dinner." ;)  it was good, though!  and i watched a bit more baseball.

then i suddenly was inspired to bake some sort of apple strudel or cobbler or something.  so i dug up some recipes and headed to the grocery store to pick up a few items (you know, like apples).  and then i came home and started the baking, combining a couple different recipes and also just sort of making it up as i went along.  in the end, it pretty much ended up being a dutch crumb apple pie.  so that went into the oven, and i watched the end of the game.  and as "desperate housewives" was just starting, i took the pie out of the over and started on my sunday night manicure.  dark red. :)  and the show was totally fun.  and then "gray's anatomy" was even better than i could have anticipated!  i seriously love that show!  and mid-show, i went for a piece of my newly invented pie.  oh.  my.  goodness.  it was amazing!  i mean, not just good like dessert is good, but like seriously delicious!  and part of me wants everyone i know to get a slice so they can experience it and also acknowledge my cooking skills.  and the other part of me wants no one else to have any so that i get to eat all of it because it's so good.  and i don't care if both of those parts of me are selfish.  i make killer pie!  so anyway, yeah, pie. :)  also, i made two pies and one is in the freezer so i'll have another one to bake some time soon without the work.  awesome!

and now that my shows are over, i'm full of (2 slices of) pie, and it's past my bedtime, i think i should start getting ready for bed.  good night.  more tomorrow.

sunday 23 october 2005 1:20am

"i can't stop loving you
there's no use to try
pretend there's someone new
i can't live a lie
i can't stop wanting you
the way that i do
there's only been one love for me
that one love is you" -- don gibson "i can't stop loving you"

i'm not exactly sure why i'm awake at this hour when i've really just spent the day with myself doing not much at all, but i am awake.  and now is when i'm finally getting to updating this journal.  last night the lyrics were an american standard.  tonight they're a country standard.  both seem fitting, as the lyrics i choose always do.  but anyway...

it was saturday and i do love saturdays for allowing me to sleep in as late as i like, for allowing me to wander aimlessly around the mall even though i don't really need anything at all, for allowing me to watch outrageous amounts of television.  so saturday started out late.  nice and late. :)  like at a college student hour, not a grown-up hour.  and that was lovely!  and i slept decently well, so i'd say it was a good night and morning.

of course, i did eventually get up, retrieve the newspaper (have to prevent neighbors from stealing it, you know), and move myself from the bed to the couch.  i found a little bit to eat and i watched a bit of tv and i read a magazine.  it really was a great way to start off the weekend.  i caught reruns of the two newest "laguna beach" episodes, which was excellent!  i really love the newest episode, in particular, so it was great to see it again! :)  so what if i'm addicted?  hehe!  and i also caught a couple episodes of "mythbusters," which is such a cool show even if i could already guess that i wouldn't get sucked out of an airplane through a bullet hole in a window.  still, it's a rad show.

eventually, i got cleaned up and decided to head out.  i wasn't sure where to go, but i ended up at the shops at mission viejo, so i walked around there for awhile.  it was crazy busy!  like christmas time busy.  seriously!  and of course, the stores are already selling christmas stuff.  um, it's still mid-october.  what's going on here?!?  anyway, i walked all around the mall and ended up with new pants, new pajamas, and new underwear.  and i might as well have been indoors since it was a very overcast, dreary sort of day.  after the mall, i headed to target.  i love target!  did you know? ;)  i found lots of cool stuff, including a shelf, a pink polo shirt (the proceeds of which go toward some sort of breast cancer charity), the tragic-but-amazing new gary allan album, and mouthwash.  i love that i can buy so many random things all in one place. :)  and then it was across the street to costco for soda, orange juice, and a new dvd.  then home.

when i got home, i attempted to carry as much stuff as possible in one trip from my car to my apartment, which is quite a ways.  i dropped one of the two gallons of orange juice, which of course meant the container broke and i got oj everywhere.  i managed to salvage a good amount of the juice, but it was still tragic!  but anyway, i got everything inside in two trips.  i built the little shelf and put it up in my closet.  it's for more purses.  this might sound weird, but i like being able to see all of them lined up in my closet but i outgrew just the one standard shelf that is in a closet so i needed another little one.  :)  so now i can once again display my purses properly in my closet.  and then i fixed a little dinner, which i enjoyed while watching the tail end of the baseball game.  i talked to the parents a little bit.  i decided i should do laundry since i was going to be home anyway, so i did that.  and all went well.  everything is now clean!  yay! :)  and while i had the laundry going, i cleaned up the apartment.  i had shoes and clothes everywhere.  everywhere.  all over the entire apartment.  but now everything is put away and i even made all the shoes fit in the closet.  and i also listened to the new gary allan, which was great!  i'm so impressed with my very first gary allan album. :)

once i had everything clean and put away, i put on one of those green facial masks you see girls use in the movies (i bought it in hawaii and i love love it) and watched "the sisterhood of the traveling pants" dvd that i bought today on my new tv and dvd player. :)  yay!  i do enjoy that movie.  and guess what!  i didn't even cry one bit through the whole movie. :)  i'm so good.  haha!  and that pretty much brings me to now, watching "daria" and typing and realizing that i'm up quite late if i'm going to make 11:30 mass in the morning.  but there's always time for a nap after church tomorrow, so i'll be totally fine.  anyway, i'm off, so good night!

friday 21 october 2005 11:47pm

"somewhere there's music
how near, how far
somewhere there's heaven
it's where you are
the darkest night would shine
if you would come to me soon
until you will, how still my heart
how high the moon" -- ella fitzgerald "how high the moon"

ooh... ella fitzgerald.  classy, right? ;)  hehe!  actually, i am classy.  or something... ;)  and i heard this song tonight, so i'm all about it right now.  but i'm getting ahead of myself.  i generally prefer to write these entries in chronological order because i'm kind of ocd like that.  so classy and ocd.  we're off to a good start, aren't we?

so i was up entirely too late last night looking just messing around online and watching jay and doing a bunch of nothing really.  i pretty much have no good excuse for being up as late as i was, except perhaps that i am trying reclaim my old sleeping habits. :)  i'll sleep when i'm dead... or on the weekends. ;)  so anyway, i was up quite late because i not only say jay but also a fair amount of conan.  and when that alarm clock went off this morning i was pretty convinced it was in error because there was no way it was already 7:30 and there was no way i wanted to get out of bed.  but after looking at the clock to verify the time, i managed to drag myself out of bed and into the shower.  i got dressed, had a little cereal, and headed out for work on a foggy laguna morning.

work today was good.  it was quiet around the office with a lot of (non-art department) people out for client meetings and shows and melissa out for the day.  but i had a list of things that i wanted to wrap up before the weekend, so it was straight to work for me.  late morning marke broke out the tortilla chips i had on my desk and it was pretty much over for me from that point on.  i had chips.  and then more chips.  and they were delicious.  it was the downfall of my eating for the day.  at lunchtime, i wasn't particularly hungry because of all the chips and i had an apple strudel thing in the refrigerator, so put that in the microwave (yeah, i wasn't sure about making apple strudel in the microwave, but it's worth trying once, right?).  and i enjoyed that at my desk while reading the friday newspaper. it was ok, but nothing like the proper made-in-the-oven-from-scratch thing.  though now i really want the real thing and might just be inspired enough to do that one of these days. :)  and in the afternoon, it was reese's peanut butter cups.  and oh yeah, i got through my list of things by like 3pm, which meant a bit of dilly-dallying, a bit of cleaning, and a bit of chatting with the people who were actually in the office.  i also got a box from mom (she mails things to my office instead of my apartment) that has a new purse(!) and my ballot and voter information book.  i guess that means i have a little project for my weekend.  vote.  and do it as an informed citizen.

after work, i headed home.  i'm addicted to my new tv, which is bad, but i'm sure it'll wear off in like 2 weeks so i'm just indulging myself for now. :)  so i watched a bit of tv and dozed off a little bit.  and when i woke up i decided to just order a pizza for dinner.  it was delicious!  when i ordered it, i also ordered a diet coke because i ran out in my apartment.  "just one?" the person taking my order asked.  yes.  just one.  (and it was like 1.5 liters anyway in a cup!  enough to quench the thirst of like 4 people.)

i eventually decided that i wanted to get out and see a movie, especially since there are a few out that i am interested in.  the friday night late show is usually a fun outing for me.  so i went to the theatre that shows independent movies, ironically called the mann, to see "good night, and good luck."  i asked the cashier for one ticket.  he then verified with me that i wanted two tickets.  when i corrected him (duh, did it look like i was with someone else? there was no one else there with me), he looked very perplexed.  yes, sir, just one ticket.  anyway, i thought that it might be at least a little bit crowded at the movies because the film has gotten quite a bit of press, but it was crazy empty.  like me a maybe 3 other people.  but anyway, i enjoyed it a lot.  i must say that i really didn't know that much about the whole story so it was even more interesting to me.  and it's a very different-looking movie.  all black and white, not a lot of soundtrack music.  anyway, it was good and definitely a good way to spend a couple hours on a quiet friday night.

now i'm back at home and back on the couch watching late night talk shows and flipping through magazines.  i'll be here until i totally crash.  and i don't really know what tomorrow holds, so we shall see.  good night, all...

thursday 20 october 2005 10:28pm

"there's nothing good on the radio
ain't nothing good at all when you're not by my side
and i still have a long way to go
down this broken white line
the wheels keep rolling
i feel like my soul is caving in
until i'm holding, holding you again
i can't wait, no, i can't wait
i can't wait to touch you" -- josh gracin "wheels"

thursday is only one day shy of friday and friday is the beginning of the weekend.  i'm tired, so the fact the fact that it's thursday is good news.  nearly the weekend, and i'm planning on catching up on some sleep and some reading this weekend.  really, i can hardly wait.

but today was still thursday, which means i got up with the alarm when it went off, not that i particularly needed it because i was already awake but i waited to actually get up, out of bed, and into the shower until i heard the first two notes of that reba mcentire song that i have successfully ruined for myself because it's been my alarm song for so many years now.  but anyway, i got up.  i had a bit of breakfast, checked email, and headed out a few minutes late.  oops!

work today was pretty good! :)  we got "cots" out (meaning shipped off to the printer) more than three hours earlier than usual, which is awesome!  it happens, like, never.  and a postcard design i did for one tradeshow in eindhoven, netherlands, went over so well that i'm adapting it for other shows, though mostly to be put on the web.  but still, it's my design (which is quite simple, but you know, kind of rad) and people will see it and i love that.  i got some other little projects done here and there, as well.  and i made major progress on the st. jude newsletter.  tomorrow, i have that on my plate, as well as another piece i get to design.  :)  so it's a good time around the office for me!

sadly, i did not leave the building for lunch today.  so no natural light for me today.  so sad!  but actually, it was ok because i had the second half of the pizza i had yesterday, which was quite tasty considering it came out of the toaster oven.  and i had a diet coke out of the vending machine, which is always a special treat because i am not letting myself get addicted to that.  haha!  because i know it could happen.

this afternoon, jonathan, the grandson of shannon, the receptionist, was in the office as he is most afternoons after he gets out of school.  and i somehow convinced him that i was cool enough that he could come play with me.  i think it was the enormous box of 96 crayola crayons he found on my desk. :)  so he colored a bit at the empty desk and then wanted to show me he could write his name.  and the he learned to write my name.  and he helped me click my mouse (i don't think he had ever done that before) as i was working on the st. jude stuff.  he did the mouse.  i did the keyboard. :)  and at one point he was just dancing all around the art department to the music melissa was playing, which was awesome!  little kid dancing is the best!  hehe!

and after a good day at work, particularly the fun afternoon, i headed straight home.  i was totally wanting to just sit and watch my new tv and veg out. :)  and to make things even better, catalogues are starting to come like crazy in the mail (apparently, we're nearing the christmas season), which make for really good "reading" while i'm just lying around the apartment.  so i did a lot of sitting around watching tv.  but that was the plan. :)  i might have even nodded off for a few minutes.  hehe!  i also found some time to catch up with friends online.  i talked to annahita, kath, sarah, and troy for a bit, which was good.  somehow, i think i've been slightly absent lately.  or maybe we all have?  anyway, i had a good time talking to everyone, while also catching the latest episode of "everwood" and tonight's rerun of "sex and the city."

and now, i'm watching jay and i'm not at all ready for bed, which means i'm up past my bedtime yet again.  no big deal.  i'm trying to reclaim the days of my youth when i was up until 1. ;)  i was just telling sarah today that one of the things i dislike about being a "grown-up" is the sleep schedule.  i much prefer the college student one.  oh, well.  so i'm off to bed... or something...  good night!

wednesday 19 october 2005 10:53pm

"my lonely nights turn to days
my lonely days turn to how my life is going
endless helpless hoping
i can dream and i can believe
but you're the only one who can heal this heart that's broken
endless helpless hoping" -- josh gracin "endless helpless hoping"

hmm.  i've been sitting here for the past ten minutes or so trying to decide just what to write, just where to start.  i don't know what to say really.  it was a good day as far as wednesdays go, and i might just impress some of you with what i accomplished today.  :)  so i'll just get on with it already...

so i got up this morning and it was yet another chilly morning, but at least there was sunshine and not that gray sky i've been waking up to the past few days. :)  so that was a good start already!  i got cleaned up, put on my new h&m pants and a pink sweater, and got some breakfast.  and since i once again decided to forego the blowdrying this morning, i had a few extra minutes so i just left for work early.  nerd alert, i know! ;)

work today was pretty good.  there were changes to be made to the magazine.  i had reprints and brochures to take care of.  and of course, there was a crop of little things that came up all day long.  that always happens, somehow.  and by the end of the day, i had my magazine section looking good (minus the editorial that still isn't in, even though we ship tomorrow), a brochure approved and off to the printer, and a good start on the st. jude newsletter.  so i'm feeling pretty good about things around work, even if there are still so many things to get done.

at lunchtime, i decided to tag along with melissa when she went to the grocery store.  i was after snacks for my desk because i'm somehow always hungry at like 3:30.  i picked up a small pizza that i could cook half of today for lunch and that i'll have the rest of tomorrow probably.  and of course, i also found some snacks like cheese-its and chocolates. :)  and then i ate too many today because that's how it goes on grocery day.

after work, i headed home.  i called mom because i really do need a new tv and i wanted to talk to her about it before deciding on a product to actually buy.  she wasn't a ton of help really, but i think i just needed to talk through some options with her.  and then i watched a bit of baseball on my couch before changing my clothes and heading back out again.

it was tv shopping time.  there were two official stops on the agenda: costco and best buy.  so i went to those two places and looked at a variety of options and made a decision.  :)  i decided on a new 26" lcd tv by sharp from costco.  so i had a guy help me get it off the rack or whatever and then i bought it.  and i rolled it outside on the cart, where someone would help me put it in my car.  when i requested help, the costco people were very nice about it.  but they told me to just leave the cart, with the tv on it, on the sidewalk and go drive my car up to the sidewalk there.  um, excuse me???  just leave the really expensive tv right there out in the open?  but they assured me it would be fine and there was a security officer with a very official-looking badge, so i did it.  and it was there still when i arrived with my car and a nice man put it in my back seat for me.  so it turned out fine, even if it was odd.  and i'm definitely glad it wasn't at all crowded there!  and i drove my new purchase back home.

trying to be a strong woman is a part of that whole all-girls school upbringing i do believe.  i went and got my little collapsible hand cart from the apartment and used it to wheel the tv from my car to the foot of my apartment stairs.  and then i carried it upstairs.  and seriously, it's not that heavy at all.  and after a phone call to the family to tell them about the tv and a quick chat with sarah, who thinks (not really) her illness is the avian flu, i unplugged the old tv and took it off the stand.  and i unpacked the new tv and put it in place.  i hooked it up to the cable box and the dvd player that's never been used because my old tv was too old to be hooked up to it.  and all of it works!  the tv, the cable, and the dvd player.  yay!  and i even called the cable company so they can bring me a high def box with dvr to replace the standard digital cable box i currently have.  excellent!  this is going to be fun!

and now, i'm enjoying "sex and the city" on my new tv while i write this and prepare for bed.  good luck getting me out of the apartment this weekend!  i'm watching tv. :)  more tomorrow.  for now, good night.

tuesday 18 october 2005 10:55pm

"now i know how a widow staring at the sea feels
waiting for a ship to come home
waiting there all alone" -- josh gracin "endless helpless hoping"

where do i even begin?  i mean i know, if i think about it hard enough, that it has only been one day, a mere 24 hours, since the last time i updated this journal, but for whatever reason it feels like a lot more than that.  it seems as though there's a lot to write, though that's probably more because of the range of emotions that can be crammed into one day.  like today.  so, i suppose that i will just start at the beginning, like i do most days.

it was raining this morning.  seriously raining.  i could hear it while i was lying in between somewhere between sleep, awake, and alarms.  and after the showering, getting ready, and all of that, i headed out to the car.  it's a long way from my door to my car.  and i walked very quickly trying not to get extremely wet but also not wanting to just surrender and open the umbrella.  and i was fairly successful.  and on the way to the office, i stopped off for donuts, as i had absolutely no breakfast food or beverages in my apartment anymore.  the donut shop was surprisingly crowded considering it was so ugly out, and the little men who work there still seem to know everyone else's name.  but not mine.  but really, i think it would be bad for me if i were to become a regular at a donut shop.  that's too many donuts. ;)

anyway, and then there was work.  work's work.  there are lots of things for me to accomplish each day, and i do my best to work through all of them while also keeping up on news and celebrity gossip. :)  so i worked hard most of the day, moving from one thing to another and then back to the first when someone needs changes or doesn't like it or whatever other reasons there are for me to be continually revisiting projects.  i mean, that's really the the job, so i don't mind, but i really do work on the same project 6 different times in one day.

i left for lunch about 15 minutes early so that i could get a jump on the line that we all know banks have at lunchtime and other convenient times of day when banks are actually open.  and guess what!  no line!  just one woman in with the only person working there (the kind that sit at desks, not the tellers) and then it was my turn!  so i sat down in this amazingly nice bank of america branch and watched cnn headline news on the large flatscreen on the wall.  and then i watched some more headline news.  and approximately 30 minutes after i sat down, it was finally my turn with the lady at the desk.  and then she took care of everything i needed, which were actually just a couple very small things that really should be able to be done by a customer on a computer over the internet or something far more civilized than her hand-writing little slips of paper, but you know.  and so nearly an hour after i had entered the bank, i left.  the trip was a success, but it was slow.  then i went across the parking lot to romano's to order lunch for takeaway.  and i brought the most delicious lunch ever back to my desk -- penne arrabiata, garlic rolls, caesar salad, diet coke.  it was amazing!  :)  this could develop into a really bad habit!  but delicious!

this afternoon, mid-work, jenna, jan, melissa, and i went out for frozen yogurt.  it had stopped raining by then, but it wasn't back to the wonderful oc weather yet.  but that's no reason not to have fro-yo, right? :)  so we went!

as soon as i got back to the office, still mid-fro-yo, john (yes, the president) called me into his office for a chat.  it's happened to other people before, but this was my first time.  and so john talked and talked and talked, and i listened like a good little employee.  and more than an hour later, john finished.  jimminy crickets!  seriously?  i have work to do, but somehow i think it made john feel better about me or something.  he doesn't know me because i don't talk all the time, so now he feels like he does a bit more.  whatever.  i'm up for it.  and by the time i got back to my desk and wrapped things up for the day, it was for sure after 5.

i headed home, changed into the most flattering (or not at all) black speedo and headed to the y for a swim.  the pool's heated, so it seemed like a perfectly reasonable plan for the night's exercise session.  and it was actually quite a good swim.  i swam the same sort of routine that i have been but faster.  the girl in the lane next to me was quite obviously a very recent member of the stanford swim team.  and if you're not aware, they're one of the absolute best in the nation.  so she was swimming (mostly fly) fast and i think it pushed me to be a bit faster, even if i'm nowhere as good as she.  and it was a good time, so whatever. :)

then i dashed home really quickly, showered, and put on a ridiculously stubborn outfit.  see, no matter how many days it's been raining and cold i refuse to believe that i must dress that way.  so i put on gaucho pants (you know, the trendy sort of capris that border on being cutoff sweats but are much more fashionable), a t-shirt, a sweatshirt, and flip-flops.  that would be enough to keep me warm from my car to the theatre and for my little trip to the grocery store, right?  yeah.  right.  anyway, so i headed out in my non-shoes to the movies to see "in her shoes."  tuesday nights are free popcorn nights, and free popcorn nights mean free dinner nights, which are particularly wonderful after spending too much on the best lunch ever.  the movie was thoroughly enjoyable!  so cute!  and considering there were about 100 moments when tears would have been ok, i did pretty good only shedding one single tear at the very saddest part.  nevermind that i was tilting my head back just to keep more from falling! ;)  hehe!  oh, i'm a sucker for a sappy movie, but you already knew that.  oh, and the movie has this crazy cute ee cummings poem, "i carry your heart with me," in it.  i love it.  for real.  anyway, on my way home, i stopped at the grocery for milk, ok, cereal, chocolate, and hair conditioner -- all the essentials!  :)  it was cold!  i was cold!  i was cold coming out of the theatre, as well.  because i was inappropriately dressed. :)  so what if i'm subborn?

when i got home, i talked to the parents for a few minutes and that's really about it.  now i'm writing this and then i'll try to get some sleep, which i don't do so well but at least i've been trying to really wear myself out with the exercise.  so anyway, time for me to try to get some rest.  good night.

monday 17 october 2005 11:01pm

"i'm sinking slowly
i see your face
it's everywhere
love can be so mean
but i don't even care
so i pray for the day
you'll come back to me" -- ryan cabrera "find your way"

we all know that i am not the biggest fan of winter.  it's true.  what can i say?  i much prefer to be basking in sunshine than ducking out of the rain.  weather is a big reason why i love living here in orange county.  but today, right here in my very own orange county, there was more rain to be found than sunshine.  a lot more.  but you know what, it smelled good and i didn't mind the cold too too much.  and some days, it's ok to sort of just... do winter.  (yes, this is what winter is like here -- temps in the 60s, rainy, not really that harsh.)

so when i got up this morning (tired, as usual on a monday morning), i got cleaned up, had a bit of breakfast, and decided that i would be fine if i just put on a sort of fall outfit -- long jeans, nice black sweater, and the black boots i haven't put on since... well... winter.  and before heading out, i had to dig up the umbrella so i could slip it in my purse just in case, and then i threw on a coat and headed off to work.

work today was pretty good.  lots of magazine stuff.  and by the end of the day, i had my pages all together, and i had also somehow found time to tend to little requests from other people here and there, catch up on the latest celebrity gossip (how about jennifer aniston and vince vaughn, huh?), and start reading up on the upcoming college basketball season.  so i would say, overall, i managed to accomplish quite a bit at work today! :)

oh, and for lunch, i was going to go get food with marke but really we shouldn't eat together because we don't really agree on what to eat, so after walking outside, we just decided to go our separate ways as far as lunch goes.  so i went up the road to z pizza, picked up food, and brought it back to the office where i could enjoy it comfortably while catching up on all the websites that i try to read whenever i have free time. :)  so delicious all the way around, really!

after work, i would normally have gone to the pool, but since it had just been sort of an ugly day, i decided to go run on a treadmill in the proper gym part of the y instead.  you know what i like about swimming?  the breathing is built in.  you can't really ruin the rhythm of it.  i miss that when i'm running (and panting and just trying to make it to the end and not fall off). :)  but you know, it just seemed like a better day for a treadmill than a swim.

then i headed home.  i had a list of chores to get done tonight.  well, not so much a list, but more like "clean the apartment because it's messy and dirty."  so the apartment got a complete cleaning!  yay!  you have no idea how much that was needed!  but now the kitchen is tidy, the carpets have been vacuumed, and nearly all the laundry is put away.  the only things that didn't really get done are that the trash is still waiting to be taken out (i mentioned the rain and cold already, right?), and there is a large pile of shoes on my bedroom floor that needs to get straightened.  but i never mind doing that one, so i'll get to it soon. :)

and in between the cleaning, i did a few other little fun things, as well.  i watched the baseball game (quietly because the speaker was out on the tv again).  crazy 9th inning, no?  and i talked to some friends online, including sarah and chris, which was good fun.  apparently, chris speaks spanish.  or at least enough that he attempts to use it to impress the ladies!  haha!  and sarah needs a research assistant so i helped her look for some stuff online.  i won 1 out of 2! :)

and tonight's big event was the latest episode of my favorite show, "laguna beach!"  yay!  it was so excellent!  i mean, i knew it was going to be from the commercials they've been showing promoting it, but it totally lived up to all my expectations!  i love it so much!  jason and lc!  how awesome is that?!?  and i love lc's house so so so so much!  infinity pool and infinity spa overlooking the ocean!  yeah, life's good in that house!  and it looks like next week's show is also going to be awesome, so i'll be counting down the days and watching reruns of this week's show until next monday. :)

i talked to the daddy tonight for a bit after he got home from his fancy dinner in sf.  ross perot apparently just walked right up to him and introduced himself and started a conversation.  dad reports that he was very nice and friendly.  i didn't ask about the size of the ears and if they're actually that big, however.

now, i do believe it's time for me to try to get some sleep, though i pretty much failed at that last night so i'm not so sure how it's going to go tonight.  but you know, what else am i going to do?  i must give it another try.  so good night, and here's to wishing for a little less winter tomorrow. :)

sunday 16 october 2005 10:16pm

"and nothing's quite the same now
i just say your name now
but it's not so bad
you're only the best i ever had" -- gary allan "best i ever had"

i was reading a bit about gary allan his new album that just came out last week (i don't have it... yet), and i realized that i like him even more than i knew.  he's really cool.  and of course so is his new music.

after a late night last night, i did a particularly good job of livin.g sunday the way that i always love to live sunday.  and that starts out by sleeping in late successfully. :)  yes!  i did it!  i slept late enough that i surely could not make 11:30am mass.  and i suppose it was totally good for me!  i mean, i needed the rest really.  i have to stock up on sleep hours so that i'm not crazy during the week. :)

eventually, i did get up and out of bed.  i picked up the newspaper from the doorstep, and i brought it with me to the couch, where i curled up in my new blanket and read it.  i even read real sections of it, which doesn't always happen because my actual favorite parts of the sunday paper are the target and best buy weekly ads. :)  and i pretty much took it easy for what i saw of the morning.  the chiefs won, though the game wasn't on my tv so i had a different one on while i kept up with the score online.

katie rugh called, which never ever happens unless i call her first, so that was a total surprise! :)  but a great one!  and i really am not sure how long i was talking to her but all of a sudden i realized it was hours later, i had eaten meal #1 while on the phone, my ear was tired, and i had been on the couch for as long as i could really remember.  apparently, there was a lot for us to catch up on! :)  and i must say, it was a really good time!  and you know what else happened while i was on the phone?  were were 30 seconds from hanging up, i was lying still on the couch, and the apartment started shaking!  a good old california earthquake!  it turns out it was a 4.6 centered off the coast 50(ish) miles south of san clemente.  it moved the place around a bit but wasn't strong enough to knock anything off shelves or anything like that.  but anyway, gotta love this place!

and after getting of the phone with katie, i decided i hadn't talked to katherine in a long time, so i gave her a call (on her cell phone!!!).  we chatted a bit and everything, which was great, though i didn't spend my whole day with her on the phone.  haha!  oh, how phone conversations can so easily take over a sunday. :)

i decided that i should get cleaned up and get out of the apartment so i wouldn't go too crazy from just living on this couch.  so i put on real clothes and decided i would head out on a craft mission inspired by sarah.  i opened the door and realized it was raining (what?!?  in laguna?!?  it doens't rain here! ;) ), so i put on a coat and headed out for real.  i went to michael's, barnes and noble, and joann fabrics.  then i stopped off at wendy's to pick up sunday night dinner (i know, i could have done better but it was so easy and so delicious) before heading home.

it was crazy raining by the time i got home, so i dashed back to my apartment with all my stuff.  and after dinner, i got to work on my new little project.  i covered 3 1'x3' styrofoam panels with khaki fabric and hung them in a row on the wall next to my fireplace.  and then i put a map on london on them, sort of joining all three together.  and then i used pins to fasten photos and mementos to it, as well.  it's rad, and i think it'll get even more rad i put new things onto it.  and of course, i give full credit to sarah who did a similar thing in her syracuse apartment and then told me how she did it.  :)  but anyway, i'm loving it!

and after a brief chat with the family, it was time for "desperate housewives" and "gray's anatomy."  yay!  since i had a pedicure on friday night, i didn't bother with that tonight.  i just trimmed and filed my fingernails, which were sort of thrashed from some neglect and the travel.  and then i had a couple cookies and enjoyed the tv entertainment. :)

and now it's time for me to get to bed.  it's been a very stormy day.  the thunder has been crazy-loud, like gunshots and definitely startling.  it's rattled the windows and i noticed lightening more than once, even with the blinds closed.  and the rain has been extremely heavy.  i don't love the rain, but whatever.  i hear there's a bit more on the way tomorrow.  but i must get a bit of sleep before tomorrow morning.  good night, all.

sunday 16 october 2005 12:45am

"but you were all the answers
to every question i was asking
oh, i was made for you
for loving you, baby
oh, i was made for you
for loving you, loving you
like the glass that holds the wine
the sunset in the western skies
like the love there in your eyes
oh, i was made for you
for loving you, baby" -- chris cagle "i was made for you"

i went to bed pretty early last night considering it was a friday night party night.  i mean, i didn't even see conan.  i feel so old!  and i felt old when i just sort of naturally woke up at 8.  but i made myself go back to sleep and got up at a less old hour of 9:30.  still too early, but not like 8. ;)  and when i did get up, i didn't move very far.  i got the newspaper from the doorstep and read it while also watching tv on the couch.

i decided around 11 that i was totally ready for meal #1.  i put some of the leftover pizza from last night's dinner at gina's into the oven.  don't judge me for eating pizza two meals in a row. :)  and i did a little bit of cleaning around the apartment, but seriously, not too much. :)  it's saturday, after all.  and then i also got cleaned up myself.

eventually, i decided that i would go out, take care of a couple errands, and just get out of the apartment because it was a sunny afternoon.  i went to target because i needed a couple little things.  but we all know what happens when i go to target!  haha!  i wind up finding way more things than i anticipated, so it was a good time around there, but perhaps also a bit more expensive than i had planned.  but really, i have done way worse damage there. :)  and then i went over to kohl's to see if they had any interesting shoes.  i'm not really sure what inspired this trip, but it was just there so i just went.  i wasn't actually in need of anything.  of course, i found shoes.  and a deeply-discounted purse to match a pair of brown shoes i own. :)  so that was also quite successful!

this afternoon i spent more time on my couch.  i was flipping between the houston-st. louis baseball game and the usc-notre dame football game.  and then i fell asleep. :)  there aren't many things better on a saturday afternoon than a nap.  and then i lazed around a bit more before having dinner.  i read magazines.  i watched tv.  i talked to the parents.  i did a bit of nothing.  it was a good time.

and tonight, i headed out to the movie theatre for a late-night show of "elizabethtown."  i'd been looking forward to this one for awhile, especially since it stars orlando looking normal.  no sword.  no odd wig.  just normal orli, though with a silly american accent.  anyway, i enjoyed the movie on the whole, but there were a few parts that i didn't like all.  but mostly, i liked it.  pretty much the whole time i was trying to decide whether i should be laughing or crying, but i think that's kind of a cameron crowe thing.  and so is the pretentious soundtrack, but i didn't mind so much because it wasn't distracting.  and orlando has never looked more beautiful.  so it was a fun outing. :)

and now, i suppose i should get to bed soon.  it's totally past my bedtime, so i like being up this late. :)  but you know... it'll catch up with me at work this week if i'm not careful.  haha!  i really am so old sometimes.  anyway, more tomorrow...

friday 14 october 2005 11:25pm

"that's something to be proud of
that's a life you can hang your hat on" -- montgomery gentry "something to be proud of"

just one more thing that i need to share...

i read the most amazing article on espn about john wooden.  it's awesome!

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/eticket/story?page=wooden

friday 14 october 2005 10:16pm

"c'mon, baby, won't you take my hand
i wanna walk with you awhile, tell you what's been on my mind
i know this life can get crazy sometimes
and we forget about the most important things
i know i've been guilty of getting caught up
in the rush of today and the worries of tomorrow
but that ain't the point of my existence
no, that's not why i'm breathin'
oh, i was made for you
for lovin' you, baby
oh, i was made for you
for lovin' you, lovin' you" -- chris cagle "i was made for you"

friday!  friday!  friday!  haha!  one of my favorite things about working for and listening to krty was tim anthony's (he's the afternoon drive dj) chant of friday and his laugh that always follows. :)  it is wonderful when it's friday!  why not celebrate that, right?  and today, i lived a totally me sort of low-key friday.

so i tried to get to bed early last night, but it really doesn't matter how hard i try.  i'm never asleep by 11.  ::sigh::  and so when that alarm went off this morning i was tired and kind of out of it, but i got up anyway.  i got cleaned up, threw my wet hair back into a kirsten-does-feel-like-blowdrying bun, and headed off to work.

it was a gorgeous morning for the drive along the ocean thanks in part, i'm sure, to those santa ana winds. :)  hot and dry and blowing off shore means lots of morning sunshine and no marine layer to get burned off.  love that!  so i made it to work, and first thing marina complimented me on my face/hair/whatever, which is great considering i spent zero minutes on it. :)  it was a busy morning as we prepared to ship a magazine to the printers today and were still moving around ads and making sure everything was in place.  and somewhere in the busy morning i helped marke buy tickets to game 7 of the world series in anaheim.  in case you're not up on baseball, that requires two major stars to align.  first, the angels must win the best-of-7 series they're currently playing (down 2-1) against the chicago white sox.  second, the world series, which is also a best-of-7 series, must require a game 7.  but if those two things do happen, marke holds three tickets.  and i hold one.  so i'll be there if it happens, and i'm currently crossing my fingers.  you should, too!

for lunch, melissa's boyfriend, chris, came down to go out with us.  chris, melissa, jan, jenna, and i tried to go to bella napoli in dana point but it turned out to be closed, so we went instead to a little cafe called rj's.  they serve breakfast all day, so i had pancakes, which were awesome! :)  that makes two breakfasts for me today!

and the afternoon was spent wrapping up one magazine and getting full-swing into the other.  i don't have as many pages for this one, but the figures that i have to prepare (i do all of them for the both magazines) seemed to be never-ending.  until, of course, i finished them today. ;)  and i got working on the layout.  i need to have that pretty much done by monday around lunchtime, and i'm well on my way there.

after work, melissa and i went down to professionail, our local little nail place, and had pedicures.  it'd been forever since i'd had a proper pedicure (you know, more than what i give myself on sunday nights watching "desperate housewives"), and it was a lot of fun.  it's nice to relax in the massage chair and soak my feet and have them looking all cute by the time i leave.  my toenails are now red red. :)  so fun!

then i headed up pch toward laguna beach.  the sunset was amazing, reflecting through the clouds and making the sky just look like it was on fire.  it was so nice!  and of course, thanks again to those santa anas, it was a very warm night.  and i had dinner at gina's outside.  it was delicious and i read a magazine and tried not to worry too much about the other people hanging around (probably 18 years old, or so) chatting and smoking and talking about each other behind each other's backs.  so mostly, i just enjoyed my dinner and then headed back toward home, stopping only to pick up fro-yo at golden spoon.

and tonight i've pretty much just crashed out on the couch.  i watched that friday night wb lineup of sitcoms i've come to like, some gac, some news, and now "sex and the city."  i enjoyed my fro-yo.  i avoided cleaning up the mess that has taken over my apartment.  i read a bit of the "country weekly" that came in the mail today.  i talked to mom and dad on the phone (dad's stoked on the geek swag i scored for him at work today).  and now i'm planning on crawling into my proper bed before i full-on fall asleep right here on the couch.  with my new blanket. :)  good night.

thursday 13 october 2005 9:45pm

"in a crowd, in the dark
i would walk straight to your heart
without any hesitation
every turn, every town
every highway i go down
baby, you're my destination
and even if nowhere was where every road led me to
i'd find you, i'd find you
in the day or the night
in the black or the white
in the red of a rose
or the depths of the ocean blue
i'd find you" -- chris cagle "i'd find you"

i must say, it was a pretty good thursday, full of that great fall sunshine we have down here in laguna and also full of little serendipitous gifts.  and it's hard to dislike a day like that, even if most of it was actually spent at work.  so here's sort of how things went. :)

i got up this morning and was in a pretty good mood considering it was 7:30 am.  i got cleaned up, had some breakfast, and put on a way cute fall outfit -- new skirt and sweater and my heels. :)  and then i headed off to work on a sunny laguna morning.  that drive on pch is going well still and i continue to make it to work in the same amount of time.  life's good commuting along pch, i must say.

work today was very good.  things are quite busy at the moment as we're in the middle of two magazines, but i'm getting the work done so i'm not really worried about too much.  we also had our monthly workflow meeting this morning, which i always like because it's a good chance to make sure that i'm working on all the projects i'm supposed to be working on.  so anyway, i really spent my day working on magazines and not much else.

there are children at rtc these days.  cj and jonathan come and hang out when they're not at school.  i like having them around.  :)  today, i made friends with cj.  he's the older of the two brothers, maybe 7 years old.  he offered me a halloween oreo, and how could i really resist? :)  and i caught cj napping on the couch when i left for lunch today.  i'm so jealous.  and this afternoon, jonathan was around and playing cars and saying "hi" and just enjoying his afternoon.

lunch today was jenna, jan, melissa, and me at san clemente pizza company, and it was totally tasty.  the restaurant was far more crowded than usual today, meaning there were about 4 other parties.  haha!

after work, i went to the y for a swim.  the lanes were full when i got there, so i shared with a lady who looked like she was going about as fast as i might want to go.  and between her and the guy in the lane next to me who was quite a good swimmer, i ended up swimming faster than normal, but i did it and still felt good afterwards, so i'm happy! :)

and then i came home and got cleaned up so that i could head out again for a couple quick errands.  on my doorstep, i discovered a large box, which turned out to be a really nice new down blanket from mom!  awesome!  then i just went to the shopping center next door.  i picked up shampoo and hair product at the little beauty supply place that has made me particularly loyal to me because of the good service.  and then i got some milk at the grocery.  i was about to bake cookies last night when i discovered i didn't have any.  so tonight, i brought home the milk and after dinner, i made cookies and enjoyed them with milk.  :)  so great!

and now i'm just curled up on the couch with my new blanket -- though i must admit that it's actually a warm night and in no way requires a down blanket -- watching some tv and relaxing.  i enjoyed "everwood" and now i'm watching anderson cooper.  it's a good time.  you wish you were here! ;)  soon, bedtime.  more next time...

wednesday 12 october 2005 10:06pm

"'cause i still hold you in my arms when i dream at night
i don't wake in the morning 'til you let me go
and i case i never told you you were my whole world
honey, i wrote this song just so you would know
that every time my heart beats
you still do that to me
yeah, honey, every time i breathe
you still do that to me
every night in my dreams
you still do that to me
every time i think about you, baby
you still do that to me
i still hold you, i still need you
when i'm sleeping, baby, that's when i see you
i still want you, i still need you
i still love you, you still do that to me
you still do that to me" -- chris cagle "you still do that to me"

i suppose it's time that i get around to writing about syracuse for you, my devoted readers. :)  it was a great trip!

so thursday "morning" i got up extremely early and got cleaned up and finsihed packing and everything.  "conan" was on my tv, which i'm pretty sure means it was still wednesday night, even if it was the second showing of conan for the night.  no matter what, it was extremely early and definitely still not light out.  i headed out around 4, stopping at the grocery store next door to use the atm first.  there was a problem, however.  i discovered (at a particularly inconvenient time) that the grocery store is not 24 hours and actually closes at midnight and doesn't reopen until 6!  i couldn't believe it!  i thought laguna was a civilized place.  even ralph's in malibu is open 24 hours in a city where nothing is open later than 10pm.  and at 4am, i was cranky.  so i just went on to the airport (john wayne/orange county/santa ana) figuring that i'd get some cash somewhere later.

the airport also provided an unwelcome discovery at a very early hour.  even though check-in is electronic, united doesn't start check-in until 5.  bah!  so i had to wait around for a few minutes before that started but i did eventually get my bags (yes, two.  don't judge me for my luggage needs.) checked and i was off to my gate, where i sat and waited for my flight.  and i got on a plane bound for chicago.  i did a lot of sleeping during the flight, since the best way to be on a flight is unconscious.  and in chicago, i got off my plane, found out what gate i needed to get to, and started that walk.  through the rainbow tunnels and all around the place, i ended up walking at fast airport pace for more than 20 minutes!  i for sure walked way more than a mile just to get to my gate, and i wasn't lost or anything.  but i got to my gate.  there i looked around at my fellow passengers and had a big reminder that i was not in orange county any more.  there are people who don't look like barbie dolls and who aren't wearing outfits that cost more than my apartment.  it's probably a good thing i got out of my beloved oc.  so i got on the relatively small plane and made it to syracuse, ny.

thursday evening in new york was pretty good.  sarah retrieved me from the airport and we went back to her lovely little apartment on the 10th floor of a syracuse apartment building.  we sat and chatted a bit before deciding to go to downtown syracuse to a little italian place for dinner (just the first of several italian dinners).  it was pretty good and a cool atmosphere, so we had a good time. :)  and sarah made the couch into a nice little bed for me.

friday was sarah's birthday, and we had a very fun day planned! :)  we got up early (ok, so that was the non-fun part), packed overnight bags, and stopped at dunkin' donuts for a little breakfast before heading out of town.  we drove southeast 250 miles through new york, pennsylvania, more of new york, and into new jersey.  we had reserved a room for ourselves at a residence inn in upper saddle creek, new jersey.  we're still not sure what exactly would attract people to upper saddle creek, but we weren't actually interested in that city.  once we got checked in, we headed back out.

and back to new york.  all these states so little and so close together!  we went to the woodbury common premium outlets in central valley, ny.  these are serious outlets!  lots and lots and lots of shopping!  in the rain.  so sad.  but at least it was warm rain because it was leftovers of a tropical storm or something.  i wasn't paying that much attention.  i just knew it was wet.  so we shopped and shopped and shopped all afternoon and evening, and it was so much fun!  we both bought way too much and had a total blast! :)  i came away with new clothes (duh) and two beautiful new handbags -- one coach and one kate spade. :)  awesome!  and since our hotel package came with a gift certificate for the outlets, sarah and i had a delicious italian dinner at a restaurant there.  and i "forced" sarah to have chocolate mousse cake, but i didn't have any waiters sing.  the chocolate was way better than waiters singing.  and for her first night as a 22-year-old, sarah slept in new jersey.  and so did i. :)  it was great!

saturday morning, we got up relatively early so that we wouldn't miss the free hot breakfast at the hotel.  it was quite good, actually!  :)  and then we packed up all out (new) stuff and drove through crazy rain back to syracuse.  sarah's a pro. :)  she did a great job of the driving and we made it back safely, decided once we got back to head to the syracuse mall instead of to her apartment.  i needed a trip to h&m before leaving syracuse and a rainy afternoon seemed like the perfect time for that.  so we had some lunch (actually, identical lunches) and did some more shopping. :)  it's what we do, sarah and me -- shop and eat. :)  and i found some cool stuff at h&m and also a pair of new shoes at dsw, where i had a gift certificate! :)  so that was a success.

after a quick trip back to sarah's apartment, we put on our coats and new shoes and headed out to the theatre to see the student production of "wild party," which i enjoyed immensely.  they will not, however, be doing this one at pepperdine any time soon, as it is extremely racy.  but it was good!  and then we had a late night dinner at the olive garden (that's 3 of 3 dinners at italian restaurants), where i had the most delicious pasta ever!  so good!  i know, it's so wrong to love food at the olive garden, but it really was delicious!  and then we crashed back at sarah's after watching "snl."

sunday, we slept in late after two early mornings.  it was lovely! :)  and when we did eventually get up, i got clean and packed and we headed out.  it was time for meal #1.  we went to friendly's, which we don't have out here in the oc.  lunch was tasty, and the ice cream sundae i had was amazing!  dark chocolate ice cream, peanut butter, fudge, a reeses peanut butter cup.  that's good stuff!  and then it was back to sarah's to fetch my luggage and head back to the syracuse airport.

the trip back was less than wonderful, but i made it.  my first flight (syracuse to chicago) was very late and there was a weird guy next to me.  i had a 10-minute connection time in chicago but luckily didn't have to walk miles.  only one of my two pieces of luggage, however, was able to make the connection with me, so the other had to be delivered to my apartment monday, and of course it was the one with all the new stuff.  but at least the middle seat on my long flight from chicago to john wayne was empty so i slept really well pretty much the whole time.

so syracuse was wonderful!  i spent lots of time hanging out with sarah, eating, and shopping, three of my very favorite activities! :)

and as for today...

today was pretty good.  the morning was a bit chilly, but i suppose it is october.  i got up, got dressed, and headed out with my great new red kate spade bag under my arm.  :)  and it was chill drive to work, which is great for a wednesday.

work today was good.  i know i have a lot to do, but i'm not freaking out about it yet, so i guess i'm good.  tomorrow will be busy, as well, but i like having something to do.  the days when i have nothing a painfully long.  so i did work and i chatted with everyone.  we all heard about the new ipod and itunes and all that, so i have the new itunes and i downloaded sunday's "desperate housewives."  after getting lunch from baja fresh and bringing it back to the office, i watched it on my lunch break. :)  so good!  now, they just need to get last sunday's "gray's" on there, because i missed that, as well.

and after work, i just decided to come home.  i wasn't all about doing something crazy.  i'm tired and i still haven't unpacked all my luggage, and i kind of just wanted to enjoy the sofa. :)  so i came home and did just that.  i read catalogues, i watched some baseball and other tv, and i did a bit of nothing.  it's been excellent.  so now i'm just updating and then i'll turn on "sex and the city" and try to get some rest.  good night. :)

tuesday 11 october 2005 9:15pm

"in the sunlight or the rain
brightest nights or darkest rains
i'll always feel the same way
whatever road you may be on
no, you're never too far gone
my love is there wherever you may be
just remember that you will always be my baby" -- sara evans "you'll always be my baby"

i was up too late last night, but that happens often to me.  and i'm not big on the sleeping these days, so i guess i'm kind of used to it, even if i don't like the lack of sleep.  other people, however, are not so good with small amounts of sleep, which i discovered today.

ok, so after a little bit less sleep that i might normally try to get on a monday night, i got up with the alarm, a bit startled but still able to make it out of bed and into the shower.  i had some breakfast, assembled an outfit that complemented my beautiful new coach purse, and headed out, purse on my shoulder. :)

when i got to work this morning, marke and melissa were already there and working.  i got to work.  it turned out to be a long day, not in hours but just in how quickly the time seemed to pass.  or not pass.  with other people kind of dragging and kind of cranky after last night's hockey game outing, it wasn't a super fun place around the office.  but i got my work done, and took a little break at lunchtime to get some pizza, which i ate at my desk but while reading "us weekly."  so i got through my day at work, but i must say it wasn't the best day ever.

after work, i was feeling sluggish and tired and uninspired, but i went straight to the y anyway.  i changed and swam for awhile.  hard.  and i was feeling great.  i think it was really what i needed to just change my mood after being in the office all day long.  and the girls were diving on the 3 meter board, which was cool to watch for the few minutes before i was allowed in the pool.

and tonight, i came home and had a delicious pasta dinner.  i talked to the family awhile on the phone, i caught the tail end of the baseball game, and i watched some other tv.  i have been chatting with sarah for awhile now, as well.  so it's been a good night, and after a little more tv i fully intend on crashing early.  until tomorrow...

tuesday 11 october 2005 2:16pm

google "[your name] needs" and paste the first 15 sentences that come up. i did 20 because i found it so amusing. :)

1. kirsten needs to start getting dirty.
2. kirsten needs to dirty it up a bit.
3. kirsten needs another highland dance outfit.
4. kirsten needs help.
5. kirsten needs serious help.
6. kirsten needs to nurse for more than just food.
7. kirsten needs my personal help.
8. kirsten needs a flannel nightgown to keep warm on cold winter nights.
9. kirsten needs a head count for showcase in phoenix.
10. kirsten needs a hug.
11. kirsten needs a committee of volunteers to help with the Ggreen.
12. kirsten needs it most.
13. kirsten needs a bigger guy.
14. kirsten needs a little time out from all the planning and organising.
15. kirsten needs warm winter clothing, summer outfits, and lots of pretty outfits for school.
16. kirsten needs to keep warm.
17. kirsten needs all the documentation she can get.
18. kirsten needs to raise $250.
19. kirsten needs to study.
20. kirsten needs some chardonnay.

monday 10 october 2005 11:30pm

"we just need a little earth to stand on
plant our hearts on solid ground
turn the lights out on this city
and wake up in a new hometown
we'll stand out in the front yard
where we can finally breathe
if we find a little earth to stand on
baby, you and me" -- sara evans "new home town"

it's been a busy day, and really i just got home and it's already past my bedtime!  we party hardy around here, though! ;)  even if that means i missed my favorite, "laguna beach," and will have to catch a rerun tomorrow.  but i'm sure you want to know what i've been up to on this monday, so here it goes...

i slept pretty well last night, which i'm sure had to do with the fact that i was completely exhausted from the weekend and the flying and all that and was also pretty well-adjusted to eastern time.  so i was pretty much ready to get up when that alarm clock started going off.  i showered, had some breakfast, and headed off to work along pch.  it was a beautiful morning. :)

work today was pretty good.  i had magazine stuff to work on all day, which is fine.  it's not so crazy busy that i didn't have time to think or to read email or to catch up on celebrity gossip. :)  so i got some good work accomplished, but i also was not really feeling stressed out at all.  i will wrap up my portion of the first draft of the magazine tomorrow morning and we'll send it out for changes.

for lunch, i went to romano's with john, anna, aaron, jenna, and melissa.  it's a proper restaurant, so it was a particularly delicious lunch.  john likes to talk a lot, and it was interesting. ;)  haha!  my penne arrabiata was so great and other than that i don't really care so much about what was going on.

after work, i headed straight home to make sure that much lost luggage had been delivered to my doorstep.  i was extremely pleased to discover that it had been, so i'm stoked!  tomorrow will be a good day to debut at least one new item.  i have not yet decided what item that will be, however. :)

and then i headed back out right away.  jenna picked me up and we drove up to anaheim to melissa's house, where we met up with her and her boyfriend, chris.  the four of us headed to the pond to the ducks' home opener against edmonton.  i hadn't been to a hockey game in quite some time, so i was excited about the chance to go.  the four of us, plus jan and family had a great time watching, even if the ducks lost 4-2.  it's cool to be in there and watching live and all of that.  plus, i like the new hockey rules.  it's like 100 times more geared towards scoring, which we all know is one half of hockey's excitement (the other half being people getting slammed against the glass).

and now i'm back at home quite tired and not really ready for tuesday.  so i'm off to bed for now.  good night.

sunday 9 october 2005 11:18pm

"the river wants an ocean to run towards
and pour its heart into
oh, and i want you" -- faith hill "i want you"

well, i'm back in my beloved oc. :)  and for now, before i get to writing a proper journal entry about my wonderful long weekend, i will tell you all that i had a great time in syracuse hanging out with sarah!  and i made it there and back safely, as well.

the trip home today, however, was less than perfect and only me, my shampoo, one pair of shoes, a vase, and 2 spatulas made it back here.  let's consider what's missing... clothes.  yeah.  and beautiful new handbags.  nearly everything new that i bought while with sarah -- which, if you know me and particularly if you know how sarah and i are together, is a whole lot of stuff -- is still in chicago.  lame.

but now, i need to go to bed before another long week of work.  i'm quite tired, but i'll get to writing a proper entry soon! :)  for now, good night!

wednesday 5 october 2005 11:10pm

"together we can find a place
and disappear without a trace
now we're sitting in a pool of the warmest tears
now i'm no religious man
never knowing quite where to stand
but i will sing the best i ever have
when i say a prayer for you
in my own little way
i know you might be coming back this way
so i'll say a prayer for you
even though i don't know what to say" -- hanna-mceuen "prayer for you"

it's after 11 o'clock, and i'm meant to wake up tomorrow morning at 3:15.  yeah.  seriously.  so i really do need to get to bed, but i wanted to update the journal because i like it and i feel like i have things to say about today. :)

first of all, my drive to work this morning was absolutely gorgeous, as it was already 70 and sunny through dana point and into san clemente all along pch.  it was so beautiful and a lovely way to kick off my day. :)  it really was nice.

work today was insanely busy.  when the day started, i already had enough work to keep me busy for the entire day, especially considering i'm taking tomorrow and friday off.  just because i stop working doesn't mean the work that needs to get done stops, so i had to make sure that was all under control.  the magazine stuff.  and then the longer i was in the office today, the more tasks piled up.  there were lots of emergencies.  everyone's stuff needs to be a the printer immediately.  of course.  it's all important.  so i tended to those small fires, while also trying to make sure that the magazine stuff was going to get done.  and there was the printing.  i am the keeper of the color printer, i guess.  i printed thousands of pages today.  at least that allows for easy multi-tasking.  so anyway, work was really busy and for a good portion of the day it was just me in the office, after marke left for school.  i even only took a very short lunch break to just pick up food and then eat it back at the office.  and at 4:45, scott the i.t. man who comes on wednesday afternoons and i were the only ones left.  apparently, the art department really does work hard.  they're always there when i get around to leaving, which is never 5 or earlier.  so anyway, i'd never been the last person in the office and i didn't know how to set the alarm but i didn't get to stop diana before she left to ask her because i was on the phone.  handling an emergency.  but luckily, scott knew how, so around 5:15 we headed out.  i had planned to get some more time in today, but what can you do?  i got enough done to keep everyone happy and manage the two days off.

this morning, i packed my gym bag with the intention of going swimming after work, but when i got in the volvo at 5:15 my hands steered me somewhere else.  i love these hands! ;)  windows down, sunroof open, i drove down dana point and into laguna beach.  88 degrees at nearly 6pm.  seriously!!!  it was such a gorgeous day i did not belong anywhere but at the beach in laguna, so that is exactly where i went.  luckily, i keep a beach towel in my car, so i took that out and went to the beach.  i walked down it a bit before finding a place to sit, relax, and watch the laguna sunset.  and of course, it was absolutely gorgeous.  and once i was done sitting and thinking and watching, i got up and headed further into laguna to my favorite spot for a solo meal in laguna, gina's. :)  mmm!  i had a slice of pizza and sat outside and people-watched.  it was lovely!  and i knew i really didn't belong anywhere but there.

of course, i did eventually have to head home, so i did.  i did three totally successful loads of laundry.  i made sure everything's in line with sarah.  i talked to the family.  i watched a little baseball.  and i packed my bag for the weekend.  i'm going to visit sarah in syracuse, ny.  i am totally looking forward to it.  i hear i need to experience a real fall.  i thought we had fall here.  whatever.  ;)  so i'm off to ny in the wee hours of the morning and i'll make it there before dinnertime.  and that's where i'll be until sunday night.  i'm not sure how often i might get to update the journal, but we'll see.  and i'll fill you all in on the stories when i get back.  for now, i'll try to squeeze in a couple hours of sleep.  good night.  until next time...

tuesday 4 october 2005 10:17pm

"dancin' in the kitchen barefoot
all the windows up, just can't get enough
headlights on my front lawn
i guess it didn't take you very long to decide
to come on over, come on it, come inside, baby
won't you come on up, come on in, come inside baby" -- sara evans "otis redding"

tuesday was good.  i proved -- both to myself and to others -- that i am actually quite ridiculous, but i had a wonderful time in the process.  and you love my ridiculousness, right?  right?  right. ;)

i slept decently well last night, and i actually got to bed pretty early.  i was tucked in nicely by the time that "sex and the city" came on, which pretty much never ever happens.  but i wanted the rest... and also probably really needed it.  anyway, i got some sleep last night, and this morning i once again found myself awake with that alarm clock.  i got up and got into the shower.  i was even able to wash my own hair!  and i had a little bit of breakfast, put on a cute skirt, and headed off to work.  i stopped for the gas on the way at this station on pch and realized it is on crazy beautiful property.  just across the street from the waves crashing on the beach.  it was a lovely morning out, and i appreciated the view while doing this little chore.

work today was really good.  i had a very clear list of things to accomplish, and i was crossing them off at a good rate.  of course, the big two are left for tomorrow, but i'll git 'er done tomorrow! ;)  yeah, i just said that.  i told you i was going to remind you that i'm ridiculous.  anyway, marke left at lunchtime, so i had the whole art department to myself all afternoon.  but i'm getting ahead of myself.

let me tell you about my slightly ridiculous lunch break.  it was the kirsten-is-a-consumer-and-loves-it lunch break.  i decided that i could not wait one minute longer to partake in the big new music tuesday festivities!   after all, it was a big nmt today!  both sara evans and chris cagle have new albums out.  so i drove all the way up to aliso to target (i can't believe there isn't a closer target to san clemente than the one that's closest to my house) to pick up sara evans.  buying it there not only meant a really cheap price but also 4 bonus tracks, which is a hard deal for me to pass up.  of course, they didn't have the chris cagle cd, so i had to go elsewhere for that.  i stopped by the food place in target for pizza first, though.  they're incompetent there.  anyway, then i went to best buy to get chris cagle.  and then i went back to work.  and i made it back in under 70 minutes, not that anyone at all noticed because there was no one at the office.  and definitely no one was there who cares at all that i took a couple extra minutes for lunch.  not that anyone at all cares anyway.

ok, so my afternoon was filled with music.  the whole art department was mine to fill with new country music!!! :)  geez, i love this job!  so i played my new albums and worked away the afternoon.  magazine stuff.  brochure stuff.  st. jude's newsletter stuff.  lots and lots of things got done, and i'm happy about what i got done.  and i was planning on being there until about 5:30, but by quarter to 5, diana and i were the only ones left in the entire office.  and she was all about leaving at 5.  and i don't really know how to set the alarm and i have no desire to be the last one there.  so i left with her a few minutes after five, sad that i wasn't getting more done today.

i headed straight to the ymca after work, though earlier than i had planned.  i wanted to attend the 6:15 cardio kickboxing class.  so i had a few extra minutes, which i used to make phone calls.  not that anyone answered.  oh, well.  then i changed and went to the class.  again, i was a few minutes early because i left work earlier than i wanted, so i was waiting outside the room.  the instructor, dave, was also there, so he introduced himself to me.  very nice.  and the cardio kickboxing class... kicked my butt!  but in a good way!  it was hard, but fun!  and i liked dave and his favorite word "energize!"  and i'm sore.  yes, already and again.  and i am pretty convinced i won't be able to walk for the next two days, as i pretty much can't walk now.  but it was good, and hopefully i'll go back again.  have someone kick my butt again. :)  will i remain up for the challenge?  i hope so.

and after that... well... i haven't done much that involves moving.  i made a lovely dinner of chicken parmesan (maybe that's me new food) and bread, which i enjoyed on my couch.  and i chatted with some friends online for a bit, which is always fun.  and now, i suppose i will attempt to get off the couch and make it to my bed for some sleep before another busy day tomorrow.  my last before my trip.  good night!

monday 3 october 2005 9:22pm

"we were meant to be
there's no doubt
and if it takes the rest of my life
for you to figure it out
i breathe in, i breathe out
put one foot in front of the other
take one day at a time
'til you find
i'm that someone you can't live without
until then
i breathe in and i breathe out" -- chris cagle "i breathe in, i breathe out"

you're so proud of me!  i'm off the drugs! :)  ok, so the drugs were just a little over-the-counter cold medicine but for a girl who pretty much never takes anything, it's crazy for me to be on it several days in a row.  and i can always feel it.  but i'm back to normal again today, and that's super exciting!

so last night, before i went totally drug-free, i popped a couple pills to help the cold and make sure that i could get a good amount of sleep.  but apparently it wasn't totally awesome because i couldn't sleep.  i ended up awake way later than planned.  i didn't sleep well.  it was kind of a disaster, and pretty much when that alarm went off this morning i was just ready for it.  so i got up, got dressed, and had a little breakfast.  those english muffins i bought yesterday were such a good decision! :)

and then i was off to work.  that new alternative drive along pch is working out nicely.  and i got to the office and it was completely empty.  no one there.  the whole art department except for marke and me are in the bay area (i know, why didn't i get to go?) for the arm conference, so i'm here holding down the fort.  but really, i like the quiet.  i get to play my music.  i walk around barefoot even more than i normally would.  and i got plenty of work done.  there are just way less distractions.  there is plenty to keep me busy, of course.  and i'm enjoying it.  it all feels so mellow with no one else around.

for lunch, marke and i took a little trip to wendys.  it doesn't sound like an exciting lunch at all, except that wendys is all the way in laguna niguel, just past where i live, which is kind of a ways to go for a $4 lunch.  but it's so much better than the other fast food options, so that's where we went.  and yes, i dipped my french fries in my frosty, as if you ever doubted me. ;)  tasty!

and after a good day at work, i headed to the to y to go swimming again.  i have to make it some sort of regular activity if it's going to matter at all, right?  of course, i was still sore (my poor triceps) from the last time, but i went anyway.  and i had a good time swimming.  plus, the divers were practicing, so it was cool to watch them a little.  of course, by the time i got home i was quite tired.  and i got into the shower and quickly discovered just how tired i had made myself.  washing my hair was a serious chore with arms that heavy.  oops! :)  at least i had a good time making them that sore!  and i'm sure it'll be worse in the morning.  haha!  oh, what i do to myself.

tonight's been pretty chill.  i'm here just hanging out.  i talked to annahita and sarah online a bit before making myself a little dinner.  then i curled up on the couch to watch "kitchen confidential," which i found to be quite hilarious!  and now i'm just watching a couple "laguna beach" reruns before the new episode comes on.  it's a quiet monday night at home, but i'm enjoying myself. :)  i'm off to watch a little more tv and then tuck in.  good night.

sunday 2 october 2005 10:28pm

"i wanna feel your heart beat all night long
when you whisper in my ear it's sweeter than my favorite song
turn up the music loud and turn the lights down low
there's no one else around
let's lay down and dance to the radio" -- aaron lines "dance to the radio"

i'm addicted to my new aaron lines cd.  i've been playing it non-stop in my car.  it's wonderful.  plus, i relate to the songs.  perhaps some more than others, but i love them.  it's an album i wish someone would give to me and say that the songs are for me, about me.  anyway, that's enough about that. :)

also, i'm feeling quite a bit better today.  i knew that jamba juice was magical.  or perhaps it was the new shoes.  well, definitely one or the other is healing me. ;)  haha!  i cut back a bit on the drugs today, even.  this is good news.  i don't want to be sick.  i don't do sick.  like i don't do winter.  anyway, i'm fighting this cold because colds in the "summer" are the worst.

i slept way more hours than usual again last night.  also good news.  it's good to be catching up a little bit.  but i did eventually get up and out of bed to retrieve my sunday paper.  i then spent my morning reading it on the couch and watching some football on tv.  and don't judge me just because "reading the newspaper" really means "flipping through the ads."  it was enjoyable and that's what matters, right?

i did eventually get cleaned up and dressed so that i could make it to st. edwards for 12:30 mass.  since i enjoyed that one last week, i figured that would be a good one to try again this week.  and once again, i found it to be a good mass, with not too much singing, enough seats for all the parishioners attending, and a priest who speaks english enough that i can understand the homily.  plus, you can't really beat that view of the ocean. ;)

and after mass, i went to get my car washed.  you have no idea how badly this needed to happen.  so i went and sat in the sunshine while waiting for my car.  and you know how they sort of line up the cars as they dry them so you can't really leave until the person in front of your car also leaves?  well, it's not usually that big of a deal because they pretty much get finished in order so that it works out fine.  and they did today, as well.  the lady whose bmw suv was in front of my car got called at the same time as i did.  there was one little flaw in the system, though.  she had lots of stuff that she had taken out of her car that she now needed to load back into her car.  lots.  and lots.  and lots.  in fact, so much stuff that it filled her trunk and part of her back seat.  seriously.  in her suv.  golf clubs, tennis rackets, soccer balls, yoga mats, and on and on and on.  so she had to keep making trips back and forth between where she was sitting waiting for her car and her car.  lots of trips.  and there were these two girls about my age sitting waiting for there car and laughing at just how ridiculous it was that this lady kept bringing more stuff.  and this whole time i'm in my car with it running waiting for her to get in her car and leave so i can leave.  and then!  she is done loading her stuff but lost her (giant) claim ticket.  of course.  so it took her a minute to find that.  and then!  she got in her car and did whatever people do when they're not starting their car and leaving.  for 5(!!!) minutes.  and the girls on the bench see me laughing also and they're signing to me to honk but i couldn't bring myself to do it with all the people and kids around.  it was just so ridiculous!  whatever.  she eventually drove away, and so did i.  i made a quick stop at costco and then went home.

after some football watching/napping, i went to the grocery.  i hadn't been in ages, and there were lots of things i needed, just things that i normally keep in my cabinets or refrigerator.  so that was a good thing for me to do.

then i came home, put on some loud music, and started baking.  yep.  i made black-bottom cupcakes, my uncle ken's favorite.  and one of my favorites, as well.  probably my favorite variety of cupcake.  and after that, i made myself a proper dinner, including chicken parmesan and garlic rolls.  sunday nights are good nights for good meals.  it's nice to feel like i'm starting the week of right.

and of course, the perfect cap to my sunday night is a manicure (the pedicure from last week still looks nice), "desperate housewives," and "gray's anatomy."  a nice fall red.  :)  so i'll watch the end of my show now, and i'll crash out.  i'm not quite ready for monday, but here it comes.  good night!

saturday 1 october 2005 10:18pm

"i'm good at pretending
i stood there unflinching
baby, with my heart on fire
hey, i'm a good liar
it's time i come clean
it's time i told the truth
no matter what i say i'm still in love with you
i'm still in love with you" -- aaron lines "good liar"

is it seriously already october?  i can't believe it.  i thought it was like april, or maybe may, but not october.  i'm not sure i'm ready for october or fall or any of this, but here i go, jumping in.

i continue to be sick.  lame.  it's summer still, right?  and no colds in summer.  oh.  yeah.  i guess we already determined that it's not actually summer, but it is instead autumn.  well, anyway, i have a cold and it sucks.  at least there's nothing to keep me too busy or stress me out too much that i don't have time to rest, relax, and recover.  i must be better by thursday.  i'm flying on thursday, and i don't do that well in the first place, let alone with a head cold.  but anyway, i am continuing with the drugs, which keep me feeling fine.

i slept a lot last night.  many, many hours.  thank you, tylenol cold night time. :)  i crashed around 10 for the first time in ages and ages.  and i slept until morning, pretty much straight through.  and i'm sure i needed that.  and i was feeling alright when i got up to pick up the paper this morning before it got stolen again.

i spent my morning on the couch chatting with sarah online and reading the newspaper.  we're working out plans for my trip out there.  it is going to involve... shopping! :)  of course!  and it will be far too cold.  but i believe i will be seeing parts of 4 different states all in one long weekend (we're counting illinois because i have to change planes there and i count my layover/shopping in the dusseldorf airport as my trip to germany)!  amazing!  with annahita in d.c., i think i only saw three, and that's only if we're counting d.c. as a state, which it isn't technically, i don't think.  but anyway, it doesn't really matter.  i also tried to eat breakfast this morning, but that was kind of a disaster because i can't really taste anything and it hardly seems worth the effort to do all the chewing and swallowing if i can't even taste.

eventually, i decided i needed to get cleaned up (and so did sarah), so i jumped  in the shower.  i put on some proper clothes and headed out for a little shopping.  necessities only, really.  or at least that was the plan.  so i went up to irvine to check out this area called the marketplace that i always see from the freeway but hadn't ever been to.  i found some new goggles.  those were on the necessities list.  and then i found a really cute new pair of shoes.  not on the list. :)  and i also had a wonderful jamba juice, which not only tasted pretty good but also soothed my throat and supposedly contains magical healing ingredients.  oh, how i do love jamba. :)

and then i headed down the road a bit to fashion island, which often is also a source of trouble for me. :)  but this time, i had a specific mission in mind, and that was a birthday present for sarah.  she'll turn 22 when i'm out there, so i needed to find something.  so i looked all around and eventually found something i really like, and by that i mean something i think she'll really like because i like it and we're the same person in so many ways.  :)  so mission accomplished!  and i bought nothing for myself!  i win!  and then i just cruised on down pch to get home.  i love that drive.  i really do.  did you know? ;)

and i've just spent my night at home relaxing.  sarah says i need to take it easy if i plan on getting better.  i straighted the apartment a little bit.  i found a little dinner.  i talked to the family (none of whom seem to feel bad for me :( ).  and i watched several "sex and the city" episodes.  i've watched all the ones on hbo on demand in the past week, though, so now i'm just chillin with catalogues and vh1 country, which i like because it's strictly videos.  no commercials.  no shows.  no vjs.  just videos.  so it's quiet around here, and it won't be long before i pop a few more pills and crash.  good night.  more tomorrow.

friday 30 september 2005 8:45pm

"i was tongue-tied, but inside
my mind got way ahead of me
i'm stuck in this confusion
trapped in some illusion
it's all because of you
somebody help me
i need an ice-cold glass of water
you left me out here in the desert
i'm losing it, hallucinating
somebody save me
pour me a strong cup of coffee
my eyes are playing tricks on me
what's happening...
you got me seeing things" -- aaron lines "seeing things"

that's it.  it's official.  i'm sick.  stay away.  i'm probably contagious.  the at this hour, the medicine's wearing off but i'm not due for more until i go to bed -- which will definitely be sooner rather than later -- so i'm feeling particularly bad.  but i'll update before i crash. :)

i slept almost all the way through the night last night, 8.5 hours, thanks to the wonders of cold medicine. :)  and i could have kept sleeping when that alarm went off, but i got up anyway.  i got cleaned up and put on a cute pink shirt in an effort to make myself feel better.  and then i headed out.  my first stop was albertson's to procure some more medicine.  but they didn't have what i wanted, so then i went to the longs drugs next door.  they had what i wanted, though i did have to get it from the pharmacist, who wasn't particularly nice, especially considering it was quite clear that i was sick and in desperate need of the drugs.  whatever.  so i dropped off my rent check, picked up a bagel, and went to work.

work was good today.  things are picking up a bit, as i was taking care of various little projects all day.  a lot of my day was spent printing.  there were 2000 coupons for the arm conference next week for me to print.  and there are 1200 media kits that i am working on.  and that all involved moving around lots of paper, which was harder than normal because my arms are heavy today.  but anyway, it was a good day around the office.  oh!  plus, i was enjoying my own music for a good portion of the afternoon while melissa and jenna were out at kinkos and wherever else they were. :)  love that!

for lunch, jenna, melissa, jan, and i went to san clemente pizza co for a good friday lunch.  i burned my mouth on really hot pizza, but i can't really tell because i really can't taste much and have no appetite.  but it was nice to get out of the office. :)

after work, i considered a variety of things to entertain myself.  shopping.  dinner in laguna.  something fun.  but by the time 5 rolled around, i wasn't feeling up to much and figured i'd enjoy these things much more over the weekend than tonight.  so i just went straight home.  and after a small snack, i crashed on my wonderful, sleep-inducing couch. :)  i love this couch!  and when i woke up, i decided my throat could use a little soothing, so i went down to golden spoon for some fro-yo.  i brought it back to the apartment, and i enjoyed it while watching the wb.  seems i've somehow become a fan of their friday night lineup of sitcoms.  :)  yeah. i talked to sarah online a bit, i talked to mom on the phone, and now i'm going to pop some more pills, and watch tv until i crash, which should be very soon.  good night!

thursday 29 september 2005 8:35pm

"we'll follow the rainbow
wherever the four winds blow
and there'll be a new day
comin' your way
i'm gonna be here for you from now on
this you know somehow
you've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
and i'm gonna make you this promise
if there's life after this
i'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm wet kiss" -- keith urban "making memories of us"

i'm mediated and feeling pretty good. :)  ok, not like anything crazier than tylenol cold and the caffeine that comes with that, but i feel all that stuff.

i tried to get some extra sleep last night because i'm trying to ward off this pesky cold.  but i failed between the whole nose/throat problem and the warm weather and the late night sugar that came in the form of ice cream that i ate because it was making my throat feel better.  so i didn't sleep particularly well, but whatever.

i got up this morning, got cleaned up, and put on a cute outfit appropriate for the very hot weather.  i took a ton of orange juice with me and went off to work, stopping for a bagel on the way.  and let me just tell you that the weather has been awesome.  so perfect.  hot hot hot and dry dry dry.  i love it!  this is why i live in a place that's really a desert that is right on the ocean.  because of days like this one.  but sadly, i had to go to work instead of spending my day on the beach.  so i went to work.  i'm too reliable.  ::sigh::

however, knowing that it was a gorgeous day outside was killing me, so it wasn't hard at all to decide to go out for lunch.  take a little drive.  enjoy the sunshine that i love so much.  eat.  you know. :)  so i cruised down pch to dana point to go to big 5.  i needed to pick up a swim cap for my new exercise routine that will include swimming.  can't ruin these tresses with the chlorine, you know! ;)  and the i picked up a quick lunch and headed back to the office.  so at least i got some fresh beach-smelling air into the middle of my day to prevent me from going totally insane.

tonight after work, i headed straight to the y for a swim.  better than a run or a bike or anything else for exercise, especially on a day like today.  and since they make the pool adults only from 6-8, i was able to find a lane and go for a good, hard swim.  and the old man in the lane next to me was a bit chatty and very nice, so that was cool.  it's good to feel welcome in a new place. :)  and i worked myself hard enough (the combo of not having swum in awhile and the cold) that i was very tired by the end.  i couldn't even get myself up and out of the pool without using the ladder.  yeah.  but you know how these things go. ;)

and i've spent the rest of my evening relaxing at home.  i got my keith urban concert dvd in the mail today, but i won't be watching it tonight.  i watched a lot of local news about the wildfires burning up near woodland hills, calabasas, thousand oaks, and agoura hills.  that's my old (and not that old) stomping ground.  that's where i spent so much of my life while going to pepperdine.  those are areas that i know well.  and it's strange to see so much coverage of my area on the news... burning.  i hope this ends well.

i watched "the o.c." tonight.  it was quite enjoyable, really.  i know i'm not the hardcore fan that i was the first season, but i do enjoy watching when i'm home on thursday nights.  :)  it's a good time!  and relaxing.  and that's what i need.  i need rest so i can overcome this illness.  i can't be sick when i fly in a week because it'll just wreck me.  so i'm going to load and run the dishwasher and then try to go to bed (likely aided by tylenol pm).  good night!

wednesday 28 september 2005 10:54pm

"i wanna honor your mother
i wanna learn from your pa
i wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw
i wanna stand out in a crowd for you
a man among men
i wanna make your world better than its ever been
and i'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
and i'll earn your trust making memories of us" -- keith urban "making memories of us"

woo!  ok, so it's nearly 11pm, which means that all hope for 8.5 hours of sleep tonight is shot.  suck.  because i need it.  but i'll write this really quickly and then try to get to bed.  here goes...

that alarm clock is making me crazy!  driving me completely mad.  it keeps going off!  ok, ok, so i know that i'm the one actually responsible for setting it, but still.  i have come to despise it, likely because of my lack of sleep.  but yet again, i got up and got clean.  i had a little breakfast and then headed off to work, taking pch.  i have committed to taking pch these days as i find it far less stressful and it does not take any longer and it's quite the beautiful drive.  it's a bit like being back in malibu once again.

work today was good.  more of the same, you know.  got some of the reprints i have made over the past few weeks back and in print!  it is always nice to see my own work in print, even when it's just little articles or whatever.  it's still my work!  :)  and starla, from our printing company publisher's press, was in town today to visit, so a big group of us all went out to lunch to a cool restaurant in san juan capistrano.  i hadn't been down to that area at all before, but it seems pretty cool and lunch was delicious!  so it was a good time!

and after work, i headed straight home.  turns out it was an absolutely gorgeous day!  so beautifully summer-like!  a dry 92 when i pulled into my parking spot around 5:45!  i love it! :)  perhaps it's a little apology from mother nature for the unusually cool summer.  anyway, it was great!  but since i've been tired, i tried to take a little power nap.  i'm not sure if i succeeded or not, but 30 minutes after i lied down i got back up.

then i headed up to costa mesa to the south coast repertory to see a british play called "dumb show" about a couple of tabloid journalists.  a dark comedy.  i quite enjoyed it, actually!  i love how a dark comedy can be so manic -- so funny and then so serious.  it was a good way to spend a wednesday evening!

and i talked to the family on the way home before stopping to pick up ice cream at the store to soothe my achy throat (and my sweet tooth).  and i talked to kath on her first ever cell phone tonight, as well!  finally!  ;)  haha!

and now, now i must try to get some rest because i am desperately trying not to let this achy throat turn into full-on illness.  i don't want that at all.  i must rest.  good night.

tuesday 27 september 2005 10:29pm

"i wanna sleep with you forever
i wanna die in your arms
in a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm
and i'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
and i'll earn your trust making memories of us" -- keith urban "making memories of us"

um, yeah.  tuesday.  it was pretty good, i do think, particularly for a tuesday.  i somehow did not accomplish quite as much as i set out to, but i did alright. :)

that alarm clock is making me crazy.  and believe me, it's not a bad buzzing noise or anything.  it's the fact that it continues to go off, day after day, at the atrociously early hour of 7:30am.  it's slowing killing me.  but i continue to get up with it each morning, no matter how much i'll forever be ruined on that reba song that it plays.  and i got cleaned up, had some breakfast, put on my cute new gaucho pants (i know, it's about time i got on that trend bandwagon, especially since they're super comfortable), and headed off to work, new cds from the weekend in hand.

work today was pretty good.  quiet, but good.  slower than usual, but good.  i put together a postcard all by myself!  a whole design created by me!  it's very exciting! :)  and it went over well when is showed it to jenna!  so i'm totally happy with myself and my work!  and somehow, i found plenty of time to be chatting with various co-workers all day today.  it just happens sometimes! :)  and i enjoy it and think it makes our work environment so much better than if we never chatted.

for lunch, i just went up to baja fresh to pick up food and bring it back to eat in the comfort of my own desk with my newest issue of "time."  i ordered my usual chicken quesadilla with a side of chips, which usually means they just throw them on the plate with my food.  today it meant a large bag and a small bag all full of delicious chips! :)  woohoo!  so delicious, even if i couldn't even come close to eating all of them, even with help from marina and melissa.

after work, i stopped at trader joe's for some salad and a loaf of sourdough (missing ess eff), before heading home.  i threw my bathing suit, goggles, and towel in a bag and headed back out again.  i was on a little mission this evening.  i want to get back to swimming, and i was informed that the laguna niguel ymca has a nice facility and pool.  so i went down there and took a tour of their facility and decided that becoming a member would be an excellent idea!  so i got myself signed up and was all ready to go.  even the pool and locker rooms looked good, which can be hard to do.  so then i got changed and ready to swim tonight and headed out to the pool.  and found it locked.  even though it was open 15 minutes earlier when i was taking a tour.  seems it closed 1.5 hours early tonight randomly for an important special meeting.  so i didn't get to swim, which was kind of disappointing.  and i couldn't really go to the gym portion, either, because i didn't have proper shoes with me.  so i just headed home.  but i'll be back there thursday ready to go.

so tonight, i made myself a nice salad, cooked up that other half of my chicken parmesan, and had some of that delicious sourdough.  a really good proper dinner!  oooh riiight! :)  that's the best!  and then i spent my evening chatting with annahita and sarah online while also watching "gilmore girls" on tv and trying to follow the giants game on that little gameday thing since it wasn't on my tv.  and then around 10, i realized that i was meant to be watching the gac country music benefit for hurricane victims from 9-11, especially since everyone who's anyone in country music was to be a part of it.  so i flipped it on.  and guess what.  about two minutes later, my boyfriend keith urban came on and sang 3 wonderful songs! :)  i love him!  did you know that? ;)  plus, he was wearing a miranda lambert t-shirt, which is so great!  in case you don't know who she is (but you should because she's awesome), she's an up-and-coming country star with crazy talent and is opening keith's upcoming tour.  by the way, who wants to come to the shows in universal city and anaheim with me in december?  come on!  you know you want to!  sign up!  do it, do it now!  ok, so i'm begging people starting now because i absolutely 100% must go to these shows and i don't want to go alone.  anyway, i <3 keith.  that's really the point. :)

and now, well, i'm trying to get to bed a little bit earlier.  i need some sleep.  or i need to at least try to sleep.  good night!  and discover the awesomeness that is keith urban (and miranda lambert, too, while you're at it).

monday 26 september 2005 10:57pm

"it's the weekend and i know that you're free
so pull on your jeans and come on out with me
oh, 'cause i need to have you near me
i need to feel you close to me
i need to have you near me, i need to have you close to me
you and me we'll go motorbike ridin'
in the sun and the wind and the rain
i got money in my pocked, i got a tiger in my tank
and i'm king of the road again
i'll meet ya in the usual place
you don't need a thing except your pretty page
i pull my blue jeans on, i pull my old blue jeans on" -- keith urban "jeans on"

the morning started out kind of hazy.  i didn't know what was going on when the alarm clock went off, and i definitely didn't know what time or day it was.  so confused.  and what a way to welcome in a monday.  but i got in the shower and sorted things out in my head and whatever.  and the morning went a little better as i enjoyed my french-style breakfast (bread and juice) and watched an amazing story on eddie aikau on "sportscenter."  if you don't know about him, learn.  or at least ask me.  an amazing hawaiian hero.  seriously.

ok, so i eventually headed off to work.  a few minutes early because the high school starts late on mondays and i get stuck in traffic if i don't give myself 5 extra minutes.  and i can do 5 minutes.

work today was decent, but it was still a monday and i was already finding myself a bit tired and totally restless by about 3. and as much as i do enjoy my job, things just felt a little crazy around work today.  not like busy crazy but like crazy crazy.  i don't know how to explain it really.  monday.  and i was tired.  so by the time 5(ish) rolled around, i was ready to get out of there.

and it's a good thing i had something planned for my evening because otherwise i probably would have gone home and just been... well... kind of miserable.  i know, depressing, but whatever.  it's ok because i, in fact, did not go home.  i went to the spectrum in irvine.  i had a hott date with my boyfriend keith urban, country star and magnificent performer.  at the movies.  :)  see, they're doing this thing at movie theatres lately.  showing concerts on the movie screens.  and i've been kind of opposed to it because a recorded performance is not the same thing as attending an actual concert.  but you know what?  i was all about going once it was my boyfriend keith urban.  so i went to watch!  first of all, it turned out to be a kzla (the country radio station in la and also apparently the most listened to country station in america) event.  and of course, i compared their promo people to my beloved krty.  for such a big station, i was way less than impressed.  in fact, i was kind of insulted.  they didn't have a strong presence at all and they were kind of rude and they let their winners cut in front of the line, which just angers everyone else.  not a good idea.  and they played audience games into the beginning of the film, which was the most interesting part because it was the only part not to be included on the dvd of the same performance released tomorrow.  but whatever.  just know that krty is way better.  and then the show.  the concert was awesome!  loud and fun and energetic!  i loved every single second of it!  i could have watched 2 more hours.  my boyfriend is awesome!  and really, there aren't many things that will put a big smile on my face as quickly as keith!

and then i headed home for the rest of my evening.  annahita called as i was nearly home, and we had an interesting chat about the people we knew in junior high and what they're doing now.  and while watching the awesome show that is "laguna beach," i had great chats with sarah and katherine, both of whom are so capable of saving me when i need it without them even knowing it.  i love my friends.  i really do.

and now, now i'm up much later than i had planned because i got carried away chatting.  but it was worth it.  so i will now try to get to bed as quickly as possible and hope that tuesday's awesome.  good night.

sunday 25 september 2005 10:25pm

"i'll be your shelter when the weather is rough
oh, you should let go
i'd let you love me
like i was in your heart
just trust me like i was there from the start" -- ryan cabrera "from the start"

how does it happen that i am up later than planned every single night?  i always have the intention of getting to bed at a reasonable hour so i can attempt to get some rest, try to catch up on the hours that i always seem to miss.  and yet i was once again awake at 2am.  i blame my friends.  :)  and i love them for that.  they're so worth it.

so you'd think that after a couple of super late nights, i'd be all about sleeping in on sunday morning.  and really, i was planning on it.  but the grown-up within me woke me at 9:30.  lame.  so i crawled out of my beloved bed, put tennis (yeah, andy roddick!) on my tv, and picked up the sunday newspaper from my doorstep.  i started to read it while relaxing on the couch and watching that davis cup match (my andy won in 5 sets and 4.5 hours).

after a bit of tennis and newspaper, i  got myself cleaned up, put on a cute skirt, and headed out.  i went to st. edwards to try out their 12:30 mass.  i still hadn't found a really good mass that i really liked, so i figured trying yet another one would be a good idea.  and going to mass at 12:30 is pretty much no sacrifice at all.  so i headed down there, and it turned out to be really good!  it was so empty compared with the others i had tried (which were all standing-room only), and there was a lot less singing.  it was easier for me to "get into the mass zone."  so anyway, i enjoyed mass.

and feeling like i looked way too cute to just go straight back home, i decided to head up to costa mesa to nordstrom rack.  it's a good place to wander, and i've been craving cute shoes since i saw that play on tuesday night all about shoes.  and i found some good stuff there!  yes, it was a shopping slip-up, as i'm meant to be saving up to go to syracuse in a couple weeks and shop with sarah, but i didn't really buy that much.  new gaucho pants, black knee-high boots, and a new wallet.  all of which i love and have been wanting for some time now. :)  and since i was right there, i went to crate & barrel.  i've been planning to buy myself a set of dishes there, as living on 3 plates isn't really cutting it and won't work for dinner parties.  so i just went ahead and did it.  i bought my dishes.  and a nice boy offered to help me to my car with the 3 boxes, but the scary sales lady said i would have to go to customer pick-up and get them brought to my car instead.  whatever.

so when i got home and got the boxes to my apartment, i unwrapped them all and put them in the dishwasher.  and i read some more newspaper and watched some baseball on tv.  it was pretty much not a lot of anything.  and i'm totally ok with that on a sunday afternoon.  and i eventually wrapped up my old dishes and put the new ones on the shelves.  i made myself delicious chicken parmesan and bread, which i enjoyed at my dining room table (!) and on my new dishes. :)

and then, the highlight of sundays... sunday night mani/pedi night!  all 20 nails got trimmed and filed and painted my newest shade of dark purple/red and i'm loving it!  and i let them dry while watching the season premieres of "desperate housewives" and "gray's anatomy!"  sunday nights are awesome!

saturday 24 september 2005 11:52pm

"i'm pleading before you for you to understand
how much i adore you
i'll be there 'til the end
when everything falls down
will you hold my hand
baby, it's you
when i look up in the sky i see you
then i turn and close my eyes
it's you
when i'm sitting all alone in my room
everything reminds me of you" -- ryan cabrera "it's you"

i love this song.  yeah, i love ryan cabrera.  he's a guilty pleasure.  what are you going to do about it? ;)

so last night, instead of just crashing after updating this journal (like i usually do), i got up and worked off some of that energy that came from being so upset about the laundry.  so i cleaned the apartment. i did all the dishes (meaning i put them all in the dishwasher and then ran it).  oddly, it had been like a week since i ran it, so it was totally full and i was totally out of dishes.  anyway, i cleaned the apartment and folded the wet laundry to sort of keep it in order and from getting ruined.  and then i watched hour after hour of cnn, watching as hurricane rita made its way to shore.  it was really interesting to me for whatever reason.  i couldn't turn it off.  i put the sleeping bag on the couch and watched cnn into the wee hours of the morning until i finally just fell asleep.

i woke up earlier than anticipated this morning, a sign, i think, of being old.  or at least of having to get up early 5 days a week.  so even though i didn't go to bed until 3, i was still up at 9 and ready to go.  so i threw on the only jeans that weren't wet and a sweatshirt and went down to the apartment office to straighten out my laundry card.  i figured being kind of drowsy would be good for my temper and emotions.  so i told them it was broken.  they offered me a new one but said they couldn't put my $34 back on it and i'd have to work that out myself with the laundry card company.  then i infomed them of the 8 loads of wet laundry in my apartment.  and after some struggle i got them to put $15 on my card and call the laundry card company for me (which i'm doubting they'll actually do so i'll probably have to do that myself anyway).  there was no dramatic scene or protest or anything like that.  but it's fine.  so then i went back home and spent my morning with the laundry.  and now it's all clean and done and put away.  so this is good.

after getting cleaned up and finding meal #1, i hung out watching cnn for a little bit.  and then i decided to actually get up and get out, so i went to target.  it's a good place to just sort of wander, and i needed a couple little things.  of course, i found more than a couple little things.  :)   amazing how that always happens to me there, isn't it?  but there were some cool new cds there.  and those gaucho pants that everyone has were super cheap.  and those little essentials.  and some  new bobby pins because mine disappeared.  all of a sudden, i have a cart full of stuff!  but fun stuff! :)  and then i went to costco in search of the amazing garlic bread they sometimes have.  they didn't have any, but i took the opportunity to pick up some oj, chicken, and a new book, so it was worth the trip.

i read this evening.  it was a quiet night, so it seemed like a good thing to be doing.  i took a break to go grab dinner from baja fresh (don't judge me for driving there.  it was cold out) and ate it back here.  and after a little more reading, i went down to golden spoon to feed my latest addiction, frozen yogurt.  half chocolate, half peanut butter with mixed white and semi-sweet chocolate chips on top.  it's bad.  i can't live without it. :)

and i spent the rest of my night in true kirsten style. :)  i sat on my beloved couch, listening to my new cds, reading fashion magazines, and eating my fro-yo.  seriously, does it get better than that?  it was so perfect, and i enjoyed it completely.  and of course, now i'm just watching a little tv and chatting with kath online.  it's a quiet weekend, and this fits in with that perfectly.  until next time...

friday 23 september 2005 11:09pm

"bring on the angel, bring on true love
i've been fooled by the devil
but Lord i'm listening now
i know i haven't stayed in touch
but if it's not asking for too much
bring on my angel" -- sons of the desert "bring on the angel"

lying here on my couch watching cnn's coverage of hurricane rita and wondering why didn't get to the cleaning had planned tonight, i'd say it was a mixed friday.  some good, some not-so-good. here it goes...

work was as good as work can get on a friday.  it was mellow.  there was an all-around lack of concentration.  we did a lot of chatting and a little bit of work.  really, i think we all needed the break after the hectic weeks we're just getting past and knowing there are some crazy weeks in our near future.  marke went back to school today, so he'll be in the office less.  i ate lunch at my desk, but i did go get it from z pizza. :)  i had my newspaper to read when i didn't feel like working because no one stole it from me this morning.  it was good.  work was good.

after work, i came straight home, stopping by the apartment office to put money on my laundry card.  as we know, laundry is a serious issue around here for me.  it takes a perfect alignment of the stars for me to get it done.  i need cash.  i need to get to the apartment office early enough to put the cash onto the card.  i need to find the time and available, working machines.  and i need the hours.  it's not easy.  but today, i had the cash so i made it to the office to put money on the card.

then i came home and crashed out on the couch. :)  so nice!  i was very confused when i woke up and saw that it was 7:00.  i thought it was morning and i had to get to work, so i started to run the shower.  and then i realized it was friday night.  it happens.  :)  haha!  so i made a little dinner.

then it was laundry time.  8 loads.  everything possible.  it's been 3.5 weeks.  and about 1/3 of the way into my laundry night, my card got a "card error" and will no longer work in any of the machines.  someone loaned me their card to wash 2 loads that were already in washers with soap on them.  but i still have 8 loads of wet laundry, including all my sheets and towels.  yeah.  this is bad.  and i ranted to enough people that i might be calm enough to go complain to management tomorrow morning, but it's still a bad situation.  but what am i going to do?  it has to wait until tomorrow.  sadly, i think that means i will be doing a whole lot more laundry tomorrow, which sucks because that's not a cool way to spend a saturday at all.

and now, i'm chillin on the couch, where i'm anticipating sleeping tonight.  for now, i'm watching hurricane rita.  i'm not sure why i find this entertaining, but i do.  i love anderson cooper in the middle of a hurricane trying to pretty much serve as an anchor, throwing to various other reporters in other cities also in the hurricane.  pouring rain.  crazy winds.  no power.  bad signals.  it's so dramatic!  haha!  geez, i am so lame.  i will not be spending tomorrow night like this.  for now, i'm thinking of doing a little cleaning and then crashing.  good night.  more tomorrow.

thursday 22 september 2005 10:47pm

"now when i was a young girl
my dad warned me about the opposite sex
he's day, 'yeah, that's just what you need
some crazy boy with wild ideas
you know what always happens next'
i tried to heed his advice
now i'm thinkin' it sounds kinda nice
it's just what i need on a night like this
a long walk in the dark, someone i can't resist
a little rendezvous, a little mystery
when i look at you i think that's just what i need" -- trick pony "on a night like this"

i like that just because a day has a bumpy start doesn't mean the whole day will be rough.  and thank goodness for that!  :)

so it was kind of a crazy morning and by like 10am i was already freaking out and stressed out and the whole deal.  i was getting snippy and it wasn't good.  first, i don't get enough sleep these days.  at least on the days when i use an alarm clock to wake up.  which is 5 days a week.  so i'm sleep deprived and that adds up by thursdays.  and then i found all the bad drivers on the way to work this morning, including one who was too busy on his cell phone to get into 3rd gear and other who cut me off while he was turning right on red so i had to slam on the brakes, sending my purse, all it's contents, and my bagel flying around the car.  wonderful.  and when i sat down at my desk the air was actually blowing on me.  it's already too cold in there but when i feel the air actually blowing on me i know i'm in trouble.  so i just wasn't a happy camper.

but things turned around.  work is much slower and i have a little break to just sort things out.  i am working on the newsletter for st. jude's that we do, so that's fun for me.  it's different from all the other stuff.  and it has bright colors and content i can actually read and i have way more freedom to do whatever i want.  so that was good!

plus, we went out to lunch with tim today, which was cool.  it's good to see him again!  sounds like he's having a good time running his own publications these days, too!

and after work, i headed straight to newport.  i know, sounds very fabulous!  and it was!  :)  haha!  i went to the orange county museum of art.  i've been wanting to go there for awhile and they have an exhibition of american art from 1900-1950 that i've been meaning to check out and they're open until 8 on thursdays.  so it seemed like a perfectly good time to go.  beforehand, i downloaded the ipod tour of the exhibition onto my own ipod.  so i took the ipod tour of the exhibition, which was so wonderful!  i learned way more than i could have without it, and i really feel like i got the full experience of the exhibition.  the art was quite good, and i recognized a lot of the artists thanks to that awesome modern art class with dr. zakian.  he would be so proud!  and then i checked out the rest of the museum.  there was a section on california art from 1900-1950, which was also very excellent!  it had really good descriptions of the various movements and then pieces to accompany each description.  it wasn't too much to read, but it was enough to jog my memory.  i found a postcard of one really nice piece in the gift shop and then headed home.

my drive home was also lovely!  i took pch instead of the toll road (i never have enough cash on me, really) and it was so great!  i drove through newport and laguna beach, and i still love those places.  even on a thursday night when they're filled with traffic and people.  the road still smells like ocean and it's amazing.  it's awesome.  i'm an addict.  i love this place. :)  and i'm also another kind of addict.  frozen yogurt.  it's also a new addiction.  so on my way home, i stopped off at golden spoon to take some home with me.  delicious! :)

and what did i do with my night?  i talked to sarah on the phone all night, and it was great!  we caught up on life and everything.  yeah, we talk nearly every day online, but it's different on the phone.  some things just need to be discussed on the phone for the full effect. :)  haha!  so we had a good time!  and i'll be in syracuse in two weeks so we can talk in person, like proper friends!  yay!  and then i talked to the family for a couple minutes and now i'm going to crash before friday.  it turned out to be quite a good thursday, after all!

wednesday 21 september 2005 9:30pm

"i think it's meant to be
and i'm ready to do anything
i want to tell you everything
every nightmare, every dream
every fear i've ever had
all the good and all the bad
all the secrets that i've kept
my mistakes and my regrets
the relief that it would bring
just to tell you everything
just to be all you need
when you need somebody there
just to let go and still know
you won't go anywhere
just to find myself again
tell you who i've always been
just to feel my spirit rise
when i look into your eyes
and see what i've been dying for" -- terri clark "to tell you everything"

hello!  :)  wednesday was somewhat less exciting than tuesday, but it was still a good one.  and sometimes, a quiet evening is wonderful.  so here's sort of how it went...

the sleeping thing is still killing me, but i'm doing my best.  i was asleep by the end of "sex and the city," so that put me in decent shape when the alarm clock went off this morning.  and i got cleaned up and dressed and headed out a few minutes early.

i stopped in the little donut shop on my way to work, and then i was off to the office.  work was a bit slower today, but in the good way.  i still have a list of things that i need to accomplish but they're a little less pressing and i had more time to do all the chatting and darts and whatever else that we do around the office when we're not so worried about deadlines.  it was fun!

lunchtime was particularly rad today!  it was ice cream party day!  a breyers van was giving out free ice cream in our parking lot for a couple hours today, so we (meaning the art department -- jenna, jan, melissa, marke, and me) went over there and got little ben & jerry's ice creams.  :)  and then we all went out to lunch at billy's, a random deli in san clemente.  yes, we had dessert first.  yes, i'm perfectly ok with that! :)  anyway, i figured out a way to order a grilled cheese sandwich at the deli, and it was pretty good.  and it sounded like everyone else was happy with their sandwiches, as well.

the rest of my afternoon was spent working... or at least at work.  i got a few things crossed off that to-do list, so i feel like i accomplished some things.  more tomorrow.  :)

this evening was meant to be spent cleaning, doing laundry, things of that sort.  well, i scratched that idea.  i wasn't all about it today.  so instead i did other stuff.  :)  first, i watched... even better than an la car chase... an emergency airplane landing.  not sure if you heard this story, but a jetblue plane leaving burbank had to make an emergency landing at lax because the landing gear was broken.  anyway, it was fun tv.  especially since no one got hurt and i can still fly.

after dinner, i made a little trip out.  i went to best buy to check out tvs because i need a new one in my living room.  the one i have now is as old as i am, and it won't last much longer.  anyway, i love the new tvs.  but i'm still deciding what to do.  and then i went to the grocery to pick up the essentials: milk, orange juice, chocolate.  :)  my kitchen is bare!

and now i'm just lying on the couch (perhaps halfway asleep) watching "the apprentice: martha stewart," or whatever the official title of this show is.  it's pretty much the same as the original "apprentice," except perhaps a little prettier.  but basically the same.  and enjoyable.  i thought about doing laundry tonight, but when i got home and the sheriff was parked in our lot, i figured maybe not tonight.  haha!

ok, so i'm going to watch some more tv, read a little, and (hopefully) fall asleep.  good night.

tuesday 20 september 2005 10:18pm

"i'm out here on a limb
although i know that it might break
my heart is gonna want you anyway
and if this love has any chance at all
someone's gotta be the first to fall" -- terri clark "the first to fall"

it's a tuesday, which generally means nothing particularly wonderful happened.  yeah, it's my favorite non-weekend-related day of the week -- thanks to new music tuesdays -- but it's still not generally one of those exciting days of the week.  people don't usually say things like, "tuesday night's a party night!"  but today was good.  great.  wonderful!

so the sleeping thing still isn't really working out so well for me, but i did find myself totally asleep just after the end of "sex and the city," which is generally the goal now that it's on from 11-11:30.

i got up this morning less-than-stoked about the fact that the weather involved thunderstorms but alright with the idea that i could just will them to go away.  so i got up and dressed and headed off to work in shoes i bought from old navy awhile ago but finally put on for the first time today.

work today was busy but good.  not as crazy insane busy like it has been.  i even had time to read the superficial and little pieces of my newest issue of "country weekly."  and i got lost and lots of compliments on my little red shoes.  i had no idea that was coming!  oh, and we also got the magazine out to the printer a day faster than usual, even with last-minute articles to place (and re-place) and switching around ads.  amazing! ;)

after work, i headed home and had just a few minutes to sit and relax a little, change my clothes, make myself look somewhat presentable, and head back out again.  tonight turned into a night planned perfectly for me. :)  by me.  and it was absolutely fantastic!  i headed out to laguna beach, which really is a good thing to do no matter what, no matter when.  if a night out starts like that, it's a good night out.  so anyway, my first stop was gina's, the same place that i've been going to to eat.  i might start to become a regular there.  so i had pizza there for the first time (weird because they're actually a pizza place), and i enjoyed it immensely while sitting outside and watching another stunning laguna sunset.  i'm a sucker for a good sunset.  and those 30 seconds or so when the sun looks like it's sinking right into the ocean until it disappears are my absolute favorite.  so awesome!

ok, so after finishing my tasty pizza, i headed just up pch to the laguna playhouse.  i discovered it's quite easy to park for free on the street there, which was a little bonus.  and then i went inside to see a play.  "bad dates."  it was so fun!  i really enjoyed it.  it's a one-woman play about a lady who goes on a series of bad dates.  she tells her stories from her bedroom while changing clothes and shoes as she prepares for more dates.  the show is filled with shoes.  lots and lots and lots... and lots of shoes!  beautiful shoes!  and the show was funny and interesting and crazy and sweet.  it was so nice!  plus, i was in the middle of the first row of the balcony, which we all know is pretty much a perfect theatre seat!  so it was an all-around wonderful time at the laguna playhouse!  and just to top everything off, the salty smell of ocean air coming through the air conditioning into my car as i drive along pch is... perfect.

tomorrow... well... it probably won't live up to today, but there's always hope! :)  it was a good tuesday!  now, i will try to get some sleep before what could very well turn out to be a good wednesday.  good night!

monday 19 september 2005 9:38pm

"and i wish i could lay down beside you
when the day is done
and wake up to your face under the morning sun...
and i can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away" -- brandi carlile "hiding my heart away"

this song was the song that made me decide i really do love brandi carlile.  it's not on her album, though.  i don't know how to listen to it, but i still love it.  and it's totally one of those songs i heard and felt.  i know that sounds totally cheezy but it's true.  i don't know how else to word it.

so i didn't get quite enough hours of sleep last night, but i guess sometimes that's the sacrifice i make for a really good -- but very busy -- weekend.

**laguna beach break.  i'll write more when the show's over**

ok, back to the journal. :)  so yeah, i somehow am failing to get proper amounts of sleep between not getting to bed at a reasonable hour and not sleeping well.  such is life, though.  so i got up with the alarm this morning.  i got cleaned up and dressed and just headed out to work early.  i couldn't do all the small things around the apartment i normally would do in the morning with my brother asleep on the couch.

work was busy yet again.  i pretty much just hit the ground running and we were off.  the magazine.  the brochure.  the reprints.  the phone calls. the emails.  everything!  but i got the stuff done.  i did it.  and i even took a longish lunch to take adam to the airport so he could get back home again.  and melissa and jenna made a frozen yogurt run in the afternoon, which was a wonderful little treat!  so work was good, even if busy as all heck.  after all, i do love it.  and you know what makes an awesome day an awesome day?  when marina brings back my set of second round changes with a lipstick kiss on it because it was perfect!  no changes! :)  rawk!  i love working there!

after work, i took marke home since he's without a car for a few days and then i headed home myself.  as i was driving i thought i saw a flash of lightening but figured i was just mistaken.  so i got home, changed clothes, and headed to the gym for a little run.  it's been long enough.  and when i got back outside, it was pink.  i'm not sure there's a better way to describe it.  the sky was pink and the light was all pink.  it was sort of like wearing redish-brownish sunglasses on a cloudy day.  only i wasn't.  it was very odd.  and it was raining a bit.  and now, i'm sitting through a proper thunderstom.  i must say, i didn't see that coming!  how weird!  we don't do rain in socal, and we for sure don't do thunderstorms.

post-gym, i got online and talked to several friends.  i miss them!  they're (you're) all over the place doing so many different things.  it's work -- but the best kind of work -- trying to keep up with all of them. ;)  but they're doing well.  so a few hours on aim chatting is a great way to spend a monday evening.

monday evenings also tend to be tv nights.  i tried a new show on fox called "kitchen confidential," which i really enjoyed.  and then it was a couple reruns of old episodes before the newest episode of "laguna beach."  so much fun!  and next week's also looks wonderful!  and the wb is going to start airing "sex and the city" nightly tonight, so i'll be tuning in to that as i try to get a little bit of rest.  that's where i'm headed now.  good night!

also, one more thing.  the new chris cagle cd is on listening party on cmt.com before i comes out in two weeks!  hooray!

sunday 18 september 2005 11:10pm

"i wanna sleep under a different piece of sky
i wanna live a little bit before i die
i wanna be so close to heaven i see angels" -- sugarland "fly away"

good evening, all.  it has been quite a busy weekend, i must say!  and quite enjoyable.  and instead of the regular mani/pedi sunday night ritual, i had company.  i skipped it. but here's a journal entry for you.  i'll take the time out to write a little before bed.  here it goes...

yesterday was quite busy.  i am not generally fond of getting up early enough that i require an alarm clock on a saturday morning, but sometimes it is necessary.  so my brother and i both got up early and headed out towards san diego for a day of college visits.  the ride down was pleasant, though the drive is never traffic-free enough to be totally enjoyable.  but we made it.

the first stop of the day was at university of california san diego to take the official campus tour.  we got a tiny bit lost on the way there, but we got there.  and we had a long walking tour of the campus, which was cool even for me because i'd never been there before.  the campus was busy with all the new freshman moving in and learning their way around.  also, the little lecture or whatever made me want to go to college!  of course, they never discuss all the work, but you know. ;)

and then adam met up (this is going to be a little confusing) with his friend who graduated from st. francis and now goes to usd.  we met up with her at ucsd because she was there because she has a sister who goes to ucsd.  get it?  so then i left adam with her and they went to usd so she could show him that school.  and then i got a little lost yet again but i did eventually meet liz at the mall at the cheesecake factory for a lovely late lunch.  we chatted and caught up on life and just hung out.  it was so fun, and of course the food was delicious!

next, i was off to usd to pick up adam.  again, i got a little lost.  but i found adam and we headed towards point loma nazarene university.  and we got super lost, and it being the 4th time in the day i was getting a little frustrated.  i have an issue driving around san diego. seriously.  the streets split and merge every couple blocks without warning, and i can't handle it.  i mean, i get around all sorts of other places, but i'm quite bad at san diego driving.  anyway, we got really super lost, but we eventually got there.  and we took a self-guided walking tour all around.  i'd heard it was more beautiful than pepperdine, but it's not really.  it's close to the ocean just like pepperdine.  but anyway, we know what the princeton review says! ;)  but it was a cool place to see.

and then it was back to home, where we relaxed a bit before just grabbing a quick dinner at baja fresh and watching "eurotrip," which i'd been meaning to see for quite some time now.  it does, after all, feature my boyfriend matt damon singing like a rock star! :)

and this morning... we slept in late. :)  yay!  and we lazed around the apartment in the morning.  i did, however, get up eventually and make a proper sunday morning breakfast, something i so rarely do when i'm home alone.  but adam and i enjoyed that and also got to read the newspaper.  wonderful!

we then decided to go to laguna beach to lay out in the sunshine for a bit.  we tried a new beach, and it was really nice.  it wasn't too crowded but the waves were really coming in and it was a beautiful september day.  it was really nice! :)  and i love the beach!  it's the only acceptable way to ruin a manicure and pedicure. :)

and then we came back to the apartment and got cleaned up before heading out again.  we went to uc irvine to take a look at their campus, and we ended up walking a bit more than i had anticipated, but that's ok.  and then we went down to the spectrum to walk around the shops.  i finally got a pair of 'bows.  and we found a cool sports bars filled with large tvs to watch the kansas city-raiders game.  go chiefs!  it was so good they even had the sound on! :)  and there was a dj of sorts playing music during commercials breaks and halftime.  so we had a really good dinner and also got to watch the game!

then we went to golden spoon, picked up some delicious fro-yo (i'm working on becoming a junkie), and came back to the apartment.  we watched "notting hill" and hung out.  and now i'm quite tired.  i'm off to bed before another busy week of work.  good night!

saturday 17 september 2005 12:11am

"just close your eyes
and i'll take you away
let go of everything
whisper my name when i
hold you, kiss you, love you
like i do" -- toby keith "hold you, kiss you, love you"

ok.  friday's over and we're working our way into saturday.  magically, the hours just fly by.  not sure how that happens.

so i went off to work this morning knowing that i had a ton of work ahead of me. a ton.  seriously.  so i got there and got straight to work.  and i just kept working and working.  around lunchtime, jan, melissa, and i went to super bowl for lunch because we'd eaten in the kitchen all week and we needed to get out and experience natural daylight.  and after lunch out, there was more working.  and we pulled that magazine together a few minutes after five o'clock so that we could all head out for fun weekends!  finally!  i still have more to do that i wanted to get done today, but now it'll just have to wait until monday.  sometimes, that's just how it goes.

and after work, i headed home for a little bit to watch some baseball, give myself a nice french manicure, and talk to sarah online.  and eventually, i headed back out to pick up my brother at john wayne.  his plane was late, but i knew that and got there at the perfect time, though i did have to circle one time and i got a little mixed up with all the lanes and ended up having to drive through the long-term parking lot.  but i got him.

then we went to aliso to have some dinner at the brewery there and then see a movie.  in the restaurant we got to watch the giants game, which was a fun little treat!  and then i made him go see "just like heaven" with me.  it was really cute and had some good funny moments!  so fun! :)

and now, it's time for bed.  we're meant to look at colleges tomorrow.  i can't believe it, but it should be fun!  more later...

friday 16 september 2005 8:06am

"i'm waitin' on the wonderful
something to set me free
out of the ordinary
come and rescue me
yeah, i could use a little love, love, love
to send me a sight
i'm tired of the typical
i'm waitin' on the wonderful" -- aaron lines "waitin' on the wonderful"

good morning!  friday!  friday!  friday!  :)  as sleepy as i was when i woke up this morning, it's still good to know it's friday.

so yesterday... i didn't get to writing last night because i was out all day until late.  we party hardy around here, you know! ;)  but i'm taking a few minutes this morning to do it (since i don't have anything in the apartment to eat for breakfast and i was particularly fast at picking out something to wear this morning so i have the extra time).

work yesterday was still crazy busy.  seems like that's pretty much normal these days, which is fine with me.  yeah, it means i do a lot of actual work, but it also means that i have some cool responsibilities and i'm learning a lot.  we got a magazine off to the printer, and i'm a good way into the next one.  and of course, these are all those other smaller projects that come along for me to do, as well.  so i'm having a good time, but it really is a lot of work.  and there were two huge highlights of my day at work.  the first is that i got a new mouse!  i've been designing with that standard, one-button mac mouse.  do you know how hard that is?  it's not fun.  but now my new mouse and lots and lots of buttons (though the scroll wheel and the right-click are my favorites).  woohoo!  and secondly, after getting that magazine off to the printer, jenna, melissa, and i made an afternoon frozen yogurt run!  so delicious and such a great way to get out of the office! :)

after work, i headed down to san diego (del mar) to meet up with katherine and her parents, who are all in town helping katherine's sister julia move into her freshman dorm at ucsd.  i was a bit early, so i had to entertain myself.  i found a beauty supply store (i was in desperate need of shampoo) and a bookstore, which was plenty.  and then i met up with them.  ken took us all to a little mexican place that he used to frequent back in the day when he went to ucsd.  it was tasty!  and then kath and i hung out in the hotel bar talking for a couple hours, just catching up.  and the bartender/waiter was nice enough not to even bother charging us for the diet coke and hot chocolate we had.  haha!  i'm sure he was stoked to have two girls who weren't even drinking.  oh, well.  and then i headed back home to make it back here just before midnight.  so it was a great day!

and tonight, adam gets into town!  i'm sure my brother and i will have a good weekend hanging out together!  i'll keep you all updated!  happy friday!

wednesday 14 september 2005 10:05pm

"then the rain came, hasn't stopped
i don't know if it will
but i'll keep waiting with the hopeful heart
on this rainy day in june...
the thunder rolls, the lightening flashes
every thought began with you
i see you face in every clouded path
on this rainy day in june" -- alan jackson "rainy day in june"

i'm not sure where to start.  when i think about the beginning it doesn't seem fun enough to start there.  i mean, overall it was a good day, really.  but i wasn't feel so good around 7:30 when that alarm clock went off, i was still very tired, and i knew there was a lot of work waiting for me to accomplish today.  knowing i'll be working all day wasn't great motivation to get me out of bed, though i did it anyway.  i got up.  and showered and had breakfast and went to work.

work today was insane.  if anything could go wrong, it did.  and if anyone could find something to complain about, they did.  and no, i didn't do anything wrong.  and yes, i still love the art department.  but some days, there are lots of people whose craziness is revealed to me.  and some mornings, that's the first email i read.  and that's not a wonderful way to start any day, but whatever.  i just have to deal, so that's what i did.  and i worked through lunch.  and in the afternoon, i needed to really get my butt in gear to get my work done, so i put on the headphones, listened to some really loud music, and went to work.  and a few hours (and lots of comments about me that i couldn't hear) later, i finished the figures i was working on.  that puts me in really good shape for the rest of the week, which is good. :)

and as i was headed home, i rang katie to see if she'd answer.  she never does, so i left a message.  again.  and then surprise!  surprise!  she called me right back, so i got to talk to her for a couple hours!  so great!  perfect timing, really.  it's like my friends find me just when i need them.  plus, talking to katie for two hours or so meant that it was already 8 when i got off the phone.  no time for the gym.  i had places to be!

the plan for tonight was to head up to laguna beach to have some dinner tonight.  and while i ended up leaving about an hour later than i had originally planned, i still went up there to gina's pizza and had a delicious plate of pasta.  i ate way too much because it was so good.  and i didn't sit outside to watch the sunset because the sun had already set, but i still enjoyed myself and the brief time out of the apartment.  it's a beautiful place, day or night, and i'm lucky to be able to hang out there at my leisure.  so dinner was lovely!

and tonight after that, i've just been hanging out.  not a lot going on.  i'm exhausted really.  i want to get some extra sleep before another day at work (sans marke, which means i'll get extra country music in).  of course, it's late by now and i'm never going to quite catch up on the sleep, but you know.  good night...

tuesday 13 september 2005 10:17pm

"i need some sunshine on my face
to help me dry my eyes
i need a blue sky over here
so i can clear my mind
maybe your soft breath on my back
to make me feel at easy
anything more that what i've got
on this rainy day in june" -- alan jackson "rainy day in june"

today was really just kind of one of those days.  it happens, i suppose.  and it'll soon be over and i can move on.

i got up a little out of it this morning.  the wrong number of hours of sleep can do that to a girl.  but i got up and dressed and put on a cute skirt (one of the recent h&m purchases) and headed off to work like i'm meant to do on a tuesday morning.

work today was as busy as ever as i'm moving from one magazine to the other, trying to get brochures together, dealing with reprints, and trying to make sure everything i do is actually done properly.  so it's a good time.  really, it is, but when i don't get out of the office for 8 hours i sometimes start to go a little stir-crazy.  i stayed in for lunch because there is plenty of food in the kitchen these days, so it seemed like the right thing to do.  of course, that means i didn't see natural daylight for a long time, and that isn't good for me.  and i ate it at my desk because i was doing stuff, so it was even less of a break.  whatever.

i had an interesting conversation with chris online today when i was at work.  somehow, we were a little confused about what was going on.  i think it's all straight now. :)

today was a tragic day.  my #1 celebrity boyfriend, matt damon, is engaged to luciana.  super.  super-lame!  but liz and i have decided that it's going to be alright because this is a hollywood marriage and therefore will be over before we know it.  and then i can slide right in there to be wife #2. :)  or of course, as melissa noted, he's not married yet! ;)

after work, i was not feeling great about everything and i needed to work some of the craziness out of my blood so i ran.  hard.  my poor legs took a beating because i'm the nutbar.  whatever.  i feel a lot better now.  and yes, it's scary that i am the one saying i feel better after a run.  who am i turning into? ;)

and then i hung out around the apartment, venturing out only to grab some wendys down the block for dinner.  i blame sarah because she was talking about french fries.  and i enjoyed them with my frosty while watching the season premiere of "gilmore girls," which was definitely fun.

i procured a couple theatre tickets for the next couple weeks, as well as made (tentative?) plans to see a show with sarah at the theatre where she works when i'm in syracuse next month.  so it should be a good time!  i'll let you know how all the shows are as i attend each of them. :)

you know what can put a smile on my face?  a serendipitous text message right as i'm wrapping this up and about to go to bed. :)  my friends are the best!  good night, all!

monday 12 september 2005 10:52pm

"she's her momma's baby, she's her daddy's pride and joy
they've kept her under wraps, she ain't been hangin' out
with any ugly i can boy
hardly ever been kissed, twenty years of innocence
just what i'm lookin' for
i wanna be the man who's holdin' her hand
when she can't hold it back anymore
good little girls make some mighty wild women
been savin' it up since the very beginning
when they fall in love, they wanna take it to the limit
good little girls make some mighty wild women
well she's never been to vegas or danced in a honky-tonk
no trail of broken hears although she looks the part
that ain't the kind of life she wants" -- blue county "good little girls"

howdy howdy!  so it's monday.  kind of lame after a very relaxing weekend and not quite enough sleep on sunday night, but you know.  they pay me if i go to work, so that's what i did.  got up.  got clean.  got dressed.  had a little breakfast.  went to work.  it's monday.  that's what you do.

work today was busy, busy, busy!  a magazine had to get out by the end of the day for the first round of editing and we still didn't have all the materials in our hands when we got into work this morning.  but we got them in the morning and we went to work to get everything together.  and after lots of adjusting, squeezing, shifting, and all those sorts of things, i had my section done and printed and ready to be edited before the end of the day.  i even had time to dash to the post office to mail some stuff.  i also tried to buy arthur ashe stamps but didn't find them until after i had stood in line and paid, so i guess i'll get them next time i'm there.  and i may have also had time to squeeze in a couple conversations with friends online.  i have to.  all my friends are hundreds or thousands of miles away!  anyway, for lunch, i had the leftovers i left in the fridge last week, as well as some goodies shannon picked up.  it's awesome when the rtc kitchen gets stocked at the beginning of the week! :)  there are these reeses bars with peanut butter, rice krispies, chocolate, and whatever else that are very good!

after work, i came home and went to the gym.  it had been ages, so it was about time really.  does it make me racist to be mildly upset that my treadmill was in spanish?  i mean, all 10 cues or however many it takes to get that thing started were all in spanish, and all the measurements were metric.  i don't know how many kgs i weigh and i don't know how fast i'm running when it's in km/h.  so i kind of just had to feel it out.  but i am upset that it was in spanish and i had no way to get it into english.  if that makes me a bad person, then i am.  if it doesn't, then i'm sure you could find some other reason why i'm not a good person. ;)  at least i discovered that i can totally work out the miranda lambert album.  so good!

and after that, it was back to the apartment for some dinner and hanging out.  i got to talk to sarah a bit.  i had a great dinner.  the giants won.  the a's won.  i watched a good portion of the canadian country music awards, which were awesome!  and of course, the highlight of monday nights... a new episode of "laguna beach!!!"  :)  so great!  i cannot even believe i have to wait a whole week for a new episode!  also, in case you weren't already aware, casey (the new girl) is a freshman at pepperdine.  yup.  and now, time for me to get some rest before another busy day!  good night!

sunday 11 september 2005 9:29pm

"go ahead and take your best shot
let 'er rip, give it all you've got
i'm laid out on the floor, but i've been here before
i may stumble, yeah, i might fall
only human, but aren't we all
i might lose my way, but hear me when i say
i will stand back up
you'll know just the moment when i've had enough
sometimes i'm afraid and i don't feel that tough
but i'll stand back up
i've been beaten up and bruised
i've been kicked right off my shoes
been down on my knees more times than you'd believe
when the darkness tries to get me
there's a light that just won't let me
it might take my pride and tears may fill my eyes
but i'll stand back up
i've weathered all these storms
but i just turn them into wind so i can fly
what don't kill you makes you stronger
when i take my last breath
that's when i'll just give up
so go ahead and take your best shot
let 'er rip, give it all you've got
you might win this round but you can't keep me down
'cause i'll stand back up
and you'll know just the moment when i've had enough
sometimes i'm afraid and i don't feel that tough
but i'll stand back up" -- sugarland "stand back up"

four years ago to the day i was waking up in my dorm room at pepperdine to the sounds of kaley johnson telling us to turn on the tv and that there'd been a plane crash.  and for whatever reason, i did get up and switch on the tv, even though it was hours until my first class of the day at 10am.  and as i am sure you all know, that turned out to be quite an interesting day.  i remember it clearly.  i didn't realize it had been four years until i heard someone else mention that fact today.  but it has been four years.  four years and what seems like a whole life ago.  just a little time for reflecting back, i suppose.

and i apologize for the long lyrics to those of you who just scroll through those anyway.  they're not in honor of 9.11 or anything like that.  they just seemed to be right for right now.  so there they are.  of course, it helped that last night sugarland's performance of the song was great.

it's been a quiet weekend around the laguna apartment.  and i haven't really minded for an instant. :)  you know sometimes i like a boring weekend sitting around.  i need it for my sanity. :)  so i took my weekend and pretty much just relaxed.  i cleaned the apartment.  it seems like it has been what i'd call messy for ages now.  ages.  yeah, seriously.  but now everything is back in its place, and i did a little vacuuming and all is well.  the world is back on its proper orbit.  i even found some time to sort through the ever-growing collection of magazines.  i saved pictures of celebrity boyfriends to decorate the refrigerator.  and recipes.  :)  and i went through the closet and pulled out stuff i don't wear anymore.  now i just need to find somewhere to donate that stuff.

i went to mass at st. edwards this morning.  eleven o'clock mass.  i'm still in the process of trying out the various masses to see which i prefer.  thus far, it seems that all 6 seem to be very crowded and filled with singing.  so anyway, i tried out the 11am.  bad news.  it was filled with children.  now, don't get me wrong, i don't mind children in church at all.  i still have this very vivid memory of someone yelling at a mom with 3 young boys at st. charles telling her not to bring her children to mass.  children should go to mass just like adults.  anyway, the problem today was that the priest's microphone wasn't loud enough and his english wasn't good enough for me to be able to understand anything he was saying over the sort of low hum that comes from children in church.  and then there was the screaming baby whose mother let him cry for about 10 minutes before finally deciding to go to the crying room.  but other than that, mass was good.  i think i'll need to start keeping track of which priest is giving the mass instead of the time.  i have my favorites.  :)  so we'll see.  i'm still working on it.  at least it was clear enough out that i could see the dozens of sailboats out! :)  yes, from inside the church.  so rad!

that's about it for my weekend.  my apartment is in order.  i cooked proper meals.  my photos of marie's wedding (courtesy of wednesday) and washington, dc, are up on flickr.  i read my newspapers (though i still think my neighbors are stealing them, i did manage to get saturday's and sunday's, just not friday's).  i watched hurricane katrina relief telethons.  i gave myself a red pedicure and a french manicure (a newly-developing talent!).  i watched lots of tennis.  and my chiefs won.  so it's been a good time, and i'm ready for another week and a weekend with the brother.

saturday 10 september 2005 12:44pm

"i sit right here holding the years
and i count all the stars in space
you fall apart again and you can find a friend
don't turn to someone else because they won't understand
self respect goes unexpressed
i don't dream because i cannot sleep
and i think the world of myself
but the world doesn't think much of me
as long as the day is full of  time
there will always be room for your hand in mine" -- brandi carlile "fall apart again"

saturday chillin on the counch watching some tennis seems like a good time  to finally get around to writing about washington, d.c.  :)  so here it goes, and i apologize for it being nearly a week now.

thursday night i got onto a plane in los angeles.  4 hours and 18 minutes at 35,000 feet.  this is not my favorite place to be.  and with the guy in front of me as reclined as possible, there was no hope for me trying to get sleep on the tray table.  i'm much too tall for that.  i tried and tried to sleep, but it really didn't happen.  and there aren't really meals on these flight anymore, so i had to make due with the water they brought around.  and the reese's i had stashed in my purse. :)  but after a very long flight, i arrived friday morning in washington.  annahita, her roommate julie, and julie's boyfriend matt all picked me up and we headed back to their apartment in northwest dc.

after some breakfast, annahita went to work for the morning, and i crawled into her bed and slept.  very soundly. :)  and then got cleaned up and dressed by the time she returned.  and all four of us went out for lunch together in a little cafe near their place.

for the afternoon, annahita and i headed down to the mall to walk around.  we checked out the smithsonian visitors' center before walking all the way down to the capitol building.  it was much to late to try to get a tour, so we walked around and took photos and just enjoyed the beautiful day.  and then we started walking the other way.  we went to the east building of the national gallery of art, which houses their modern and contemporary art collections.  annahita was hesitant to even go there, but there was no way i was missing the modern art there.  and they had a decent collection of rothko there, which i absolutely loved, even if annahita will never understand the abstract expressionists. :)  they were beautiful!  and of course, there were lots of other beautiful pieces from other great modern artists, especially since so many of them were american.

then we walked over to the national gallery's sculpture garden, where they have live jazz music on friday evenings.  everyone put their feet into the fountain and listens to the music, so that was really enjoyable.

then we got up and decided to keep walking down the mall, and ended up walking all the way to the washington monument.  it's quite impressive in person, very large.  (555' 5.375" i believe)  so we took some photos and sat overlooking the reflecting pool, wwii memorial, and lincoln memorial.  but eventually, we did decide to get up and keep walking.  so we walked over to the world war ii memorial, my first visit because it didn't exist when i was last in washington.  we didn't get long there, however, because they were just starting to clear the memorial when we arrived for a special ceremony that was going on to mark the 60th anniversary.  or at least that's what they told me.  i never verified that information. ;)  so we took a few minutes there and then continued our walk west to the lincoln memorial.  one of my favorite of the washington tourist places, it was still lovely.  and the sun was setting, so the lighting around there was perfectly dramatic.  of course, by time time we were quite tired, as that is quite a walk, so we walked up to foggy bottom and caught the metro back to annahita's.

after getting cleaned up a bit, we headed out to this amazing italian restaurant for dinner!  amazing!  the food was absolultely to.  die.  for.  so good! :)  and then headed back to annahita's for some more sleep.  she has a pull-out sofa, so i had my own proper bed and everything!

saturday morning we got up not at all particularly early.  annahita made breakfast and then we headed towards the capitol to try to get tickets for a tour.  we ended up being about 5 minutes late, i guess.  there were about 10 people in line in front of us when they gave out the last tickets.  oh, well.  so we walked all the way down the mall to the washington monument to try to get tickets to go to the top of that.  gone.  so a little bit bummed, we had a change of plans for the day.  we spent the afternoon in museums. :)  you know i love that!  so we spent some time in the smithsonian's museum of american history, which was very cool.  my favorite things there were the first ladies' gowns and the pieces of pop culture, like kermit the frog and the fonz's jacket.  and then we grabbed a bite to eat before walking over to the west building of the national gallery.  we did the speedy tour of the whole building, seeing everything from 14th century italian paintings to 19th century french (my favorite, of course!)  there were some gorgeous degas pieces, which was fun for me, as he's totally like my favorite artist.  even if that's not unique in any way whatsoever.  so that was a lot of fun, i saw so much beautiful art, and we found some rad stuff in the gift shop!

then we made a quick trip back to annahita's apartment and then got straight back on the metro, which we took to rfk stadium.  a new stadium experience!  that's fun!  we saw the washington nationals take on the phillies.  peanuts.  hot dogs.  french fries.  and 12 innings of baseball!  haha!  it was so much fun, and washington won in the end!  what fun! :)

sunday was the designated shopping day.  we got up and went to georgetown.  annahita took me to clyde's for brunch, which was absolutely delicious!  and then we did some shopping.  i needed to go to h&m because i cannot do that out here in cali.  and i know i took longer than annahita liked, but i found lots of wonderful stuff there!  and so did annahita.  we also met up with her friend, amanda, for a bit more shopping.  we all bought new shoes, and i also found some interesting things at the gap.

then after stopping off at amanda's apartment really quickly, annahita and i went on to old town alexandria, where we had very delicious ice cream and strolled along the potomac.  it was a really cool little area, and i enjoyed it. :)  then back to annahita's.

we got cleaned up and dressed up and headed back out.  we went to this cool restaurant right in the middle of union station called america.  i had a salad and mac & cheese.  how often do you see that as a meal on a menu?  it was delicious!  and then the rest of our night was spent on the couch watching "a lot like love," which was a perfectly cute girly movie. :)

and monday was memorial day, i suppose a cool time to be in the nation's capital.  we got up quite early and made it to the capitol by about 9:30.  we got tickets for a tour in a bit, so we walked down to the washington monument, where we also got tickets for later.  and then we went back to the capitol for our tour.  it was very cool, if not particularly extensive.  the tour guide was really knowledgable, and explained all sorts of things about the three rooms we got to see.  so it was totally worth the effort of getting there early to get inside.  after the tour, we had a little time to get lunch so we ate in the cafe at the national gallery, which was quite good!  and they have gelato there, so you know i didn't pass that up!  and then it was on to the washington monument.  we took the elevator all the way to the viewing room at the top.  it was a very clean day, and we could see quite far in all directions.  plus, it's right at the center of the mall, so we could see the capitol, the white house, the lincoln memorial, and the jefferson memorial.  very cool!  next time, however, i want a docent-led tour so that i can walk down and see all the stones donated by all the states.  we only got a little preview of them on the elevator ride down.

and after a good morning and afternoon on the mall, it was back to annahita's apartment so i could pack up all my things.  that extra bag i packed definitely came in handy! :)  i am so prepared! ;)  and then we headed out to dinner at the cheesecake factory.  of course, that was totally delicious!  i even took a piece of cheesecake to go so that i could enjoy it in the airport/on the plane later.

and then there was the plane ride back.  well, it wasn't nearly as long (or so it seemed) because  i slept pretty much the whole way.  not restful sleep, but sleep enough to distract me from my misery.  also, i got lucky because there was no one in the middle seat between me and the guy who had the window.  rawk!  and i got into la around 12:30am monday morning and it was a little over an hour's drive back to my place.  then i crashed. :)  good weekend!

and as for yesterday, which i didn't write about yesterday...

it was yet another crazy day at work, as i continue to learn about people who don't see deadlines the way that i see deadlines.  and i feel like i am getting better about speaking up about it in a good, professional, constructive way.  and we're getting stuff done as much as we can.  the magazine's nearly put together, which is a relief to me.  so work's good!  and i'm enjoying it every day!

also the art department went out for lunch at costco.  yeah.  costco.  first, we did a little shopping, and then we ate at the little stand there.  it's crazy cheap, so we enjoyed that!  i had a frozen yogurt the size of a medium soda!  luckily, jenna took about half of it from me.  so it was a good lunch! :)

and after work, i went back to costco (a different one, though) and picked up a few more things, things i wouldn't want to leave in my car all day long.  i found more than i had anticipated, but that's fine. :)  and then i came home and did some more organizing (though looking around me right now, it's not particularly evident).  and i had a delicious chicken parmesan dinner!  and watched the katrina telethon and the fashion rocks show that came on after that used to be a rad concept and now was pretty much just turned into another telethon.  but it was still enjoyable, and it also featured tim mcgraw. :)  so it was a quiet night around here, which i very much enjoyed!

thursday 8 september 2005 10:14pm

"when this whole world gets too crazy
and there's nowhere left to go
i know you give me sanctuary
you're the only truth i know
you're the road back home
can you see me, here i am
standing here where i've always been
and when words are not enough
i climb inside your heard, i still find
you're my safest place to hide
my safest place to hide...
oh, can you see me, here i am
standing here where i've always been
when i feel like giving up
i climb inside your heart i'd still find
you're my safest place to hide" -- backstreet boys "safest place to hide"

hello, all! :)  i'll just apologize now for still not having that washington journal up yet.  soon.  this weekend.  i'm tired.  and the past two days have kept me busy, even if i feel like i haven't done anything particularly exciting.

work has been super busy!  like really busy!  the magazines are in the works, and i'm also working on various projects here and there, so there is a lot on my plate.  and i've been enjoying all the responsibility but it wears me out by the end of the day and i don't really feel like doing more photo correction and typing and all that when i get home from a day of it.  so i've been spending a lot of time at work lately.  they pay me, and it's what i'm supposed to be doing all day.  plus, this makes two weeks in a row that i've only worked 4 days!  yay for holidays and vacation days!  so work's good! :)  plus, random chats with friends online (hi, chris, sarah, annahita, and all the rest of you), make the day fun!

and i've been trying to get my life back to an organized state lately, as the apartment is a mess and not nearly clean enough.  and i'm still working on it. :)  haha!  i mean, it's cleaner now then it was 2 days ago, but it's not near right yet.  i'll keep working.  ask again on sunday evening.

and today, i went to target instead of doing more straightening. :)  because i love target!  and they had a couple things on sale that i "needed."  i finally bought myself a george foreman.  how i have gone this long without one, i am not really sure, but you know now i'm all over it.  mostly, i plan to use it as a sandwich press.  now, i just need some sandwich materials. :)

and there has been more tv than necessary and usual lately.  "the oc" was better than expected tonight.  i caught up on the last two episodes of "laguna beach" last night!  awesome, of course!  and my giants... well... they kill me but i love them anyway.  and the news... lots and lots of news...

good night.

tuesday 6 september 2005 9:18pm

"i still need you
i still care about you
though everything's been said and done
i still feel you
like i'm right beside you" -- backstreet boys "i still..."

hello, everyone! :)  i'm back in my beloved cali once again, happy to be home and pleased having spent a lovely long weekend in washington, d.c.  i'll write about the trip tomorrow (with any luck) because i'm still trying to catch up on sleep and want to get to bed early tonight.  so for now, i'll fill you in on what felt like a monday, but was really a tuesday...

i got up with the alarm clock this morning and was still quite tired.  it came entirely too soon.  really, i'm never fully satisfied with 5 hours of sleep.  but i got cleaned up and ready for work anyway, leaving a few minutes early instead of taking the time to blow dry the hair. :)

work today was certainly enough to keep me quite busy!  there are lots of things for me to be taking care of, as well as printing a huge project, which ended up taking me the entire day to get done.  i mean, 880 pages, each of them double-sided.  that's a lot of printing to pay attention to. ;)  i also designed a piece for a conference, which went over pretty well!  and of course, i'm working on the month's magazines already.  i'm still several figures short of getting to the layout, but i should get there tomorrow.  for lunch, i just went over to baja fresh and took it back to the office to eat while reading a magazine.  delicious!

and after work, i haven't been up to a whole lot.  i came home.  i had some dinner.  i talked to the family.  adam's coming to visit next weekend so he can "look at colleges" in san diego.  it should be a wonderful time!  i talked to sarah online.  i watched lots of news and also the giants game.  good stuff.  and soon, i will crawl into my own bed and rest up for the rest of the week.  good night!

sunday 4 september 2005 6:32pm edt

just a quick note to say that yes, i’m stil alive, and yes, i’m still having fun.  i’m enjoying seeing Washington, d.c.  thus far, i’ve enjoyed lots and lots of the national gallery, the smithsonian museum of american history, shopping in georgetown, walking around alexandria, 12 innings of the nationals beating the phillies, great meals, and more.  tomorrow, there’s more in store before i head back to cali.  it’s been a good time out here!

friday 2 september 2005 12:49pm eastern daylight time

greetings from washintgton, d.c.!  i’m here.  the redeye flight really did make my eyes red, as i got pretty much no sleep at all.  however, i did just spend all morning sleeping while annahita is at work.  she should be back in a few minutes, and then we’re off to see the sights. :)  i’ll try to get some updates on here every now and then so you, my devoted and beloved readers, will know what I am up to.  so now i will set off on four days of adventure in washington!  more soon...

tuesday 30 august 2005 10:14pm

"dance for me, sweetheart, while i strum my guitar
you sure look pretty tonight
i've just come off the road and i could use the company
now that would suit me just fine
now i've seen a lot of special things around this world
you can see them, too, you can
what's that you ask
i have no name, i have no name
for i am known only as man, for i am known only as man
i'm a wanderer, i have no place or time
i'm just drifting on this lonely road of time
and if you like you can come along with me
but i promise you that i am not the man i used to be
but i promise you that i am not the man i used to be
now you and i, we've seen our share of ups and downs
somewhere we just lost hope
i can't change the past but who cares
your love is all i've ever known
your love is all i've ever known" -- marc broussard "the wanderer"

i'm quite tired tonight, really.  but here we go.

i got up this morning feeling like i'd been hit by a truck.  i swear i barely made it out of the bed and into the shower.  but i got cleaned up and dressed, and i headed off to work a few minutes early since i was ready early.

work was busy, busy, busy!  lots of little projects to take care of.  i played my own music all morning, which is always a nice little treat for me. :)  i love that.  and i just worked away!  i somehow managed to squeeze in an online conversation with a couple friends, as well.  so it was a good morning.  one problem, though.  come 11:15, i was already starving, and by 11:45 i was totally ravenous!  so marke and i went down to baja fresh and i had a very delicious lunch. :)  and then it was back to work for an afternoon filled with more stuff.  i think i actually made some good progress and wrapped up a few things that were on my plate.  super!

this afternoon, i headed home, and i wasn't feeling too hot, so i skipped the gym in favor of the couch.  and it worked out because the andy roddick match was just starting on tv.  first round of the us open.  and he got beat.  straight beat.  by a no-name.  suck.  so rough!  so i turned on the a's-angels game and enjoyed the 11th inning win by oakland!  woot!  some redemption on my sports-filled night.  and i also found time to talk to several friends online, one of my favorite pastimes, it seems.  i mean, they're my friends and they're crazy-far away, so it's a good way to keep in contact with them.

and now, i'm off to bed.  i'm tired, and tomorrow will be long between work, a trip to the gym (it's been forever), laundry, a pedicure, and packing for washington.  good times! ;)  ok, have a good night.  more tomorrow...

monday 29 august 2005 11:25pm

"there's a soft sweet space on the back of your neck, smells like rain
there's a way you look at me, baby, heals my pain
i've studied every inch of your body, baby, what's on your mind
the touch of your skin just pulls me in, every single time
there's a silent conversation
filled with hidden revelations in your eyes
baby, i'm so into you
every whisper from your soul to my heart
baby, i know it's true
you're a sweet little mystery sent to me from the stars
and that's the beauty of who you are
there's a faith you're saving for a rainy day, i could use right now
there's a way you move my soul to sing, only you know how
you are a sensual salvation, you're the holiest temptation
baby, i'm never, never, never gonna be the same...
i can't explain it or begin to conceive
all i know is that you make me believe" -- marc broussard "the beauty of who you are"

longish lyrics tonight, i know, but really, it was hard enough choosing just one song tonight.  limiting myself to just a small portion seemed impossible. :) 

um, i'm kind of getting a late start on this, and now that i actually sit down to write and have a bit of food in my stomach, i'm feeling very sleepy.  geez, i'm old!  but you know, we party hardy and that's why i am just now getting home. :)

so i woke up this morning to the sounds of kids skateboarding outside.  i'm not ok with this.  7:15am.  that's too early.  and of course, the windows were all open because it's been hot, so it was loud.  so i got up.  lame.  and i got dressed and all ready for work and the post-work fun. :)  and after settling on cereal for breakfast (i wanted a brownie instead, but i resisted), i headed off to work.  little did i know i was going to get stuck in lots of traffic at dana hills high school.  suck.  oh, well.  i just need to figure out their schedule of days when they start late so that i can leave a couple minutes early.

work today was pretty busy.  i mean, i always have things to do, so i guess that's good.  sometimes, though, i swear i have absolutely zero attention span.  just sometimes. :)  like mondays.  and for lunch, i had a couple quick errands to run and without realizing it abandoned marke in the office, so i brought back pizza for both of us.  definitely better than anything we would have found in the kitchen.

after work, i headed straight up to anaheim to downtown disney, and in a total flash of luck, ended up in the parking lot right next to jen wilbur and her roommate, crystal.  that's who i was meeting up with!  perfect! :)  so we walked around a bit and eventually met up with melissa, chris, and marissa.  we headed into the house of blues for a night of live music.  yes!  first up was a girl we'd never heard of, brandi carlile.  she was great!  she has a very bluesy voice, but it's also really clean.  anyway, i really enjoyed her set, and i found out once i got home she actually has a song on the "sisterhood of the traveling pants" soundtrack that i've been enjoying lately.  rawk!  then it was the man we had come to see, marc broussard!  woot!  so, melissa got me kind of hooked because she's totally obsessed with her #1 celebrity boyfriend, marc.  and he was so fantastic in concert!  loads of energy and totally rockin'!  and he has a mad guitarist!  so it was a lot of fun!  also the hob anaheim is a cool venue and it wasn't close to full.  so, awesome!  and then it was the headliner, citizen cope.  i'd heard the name before but not the music.  it was alright.  very mellow, and not particularly interesting live.  plus, we were all tired, so we saw about half of that set.

and now i'm just home snacking (got to have dinner at some point, you know), watching tv, and chatting with friends online. :)  it's a good time!  i suppose i should get to bed!  good night, all.

sunday 28 august 2005 7:48pm

"can't let go and it doesn't matter how i try
i gave it all so easily to you my love...
am i strong enough to see it through
go crazy is what i will do
if i can't have you
i don't want nobody, baby
if i can't have you, uh huh, oh
if i can't have you
i don't want nobody, baby
if i can't have you, uh hoh" -- yvonne elliman "if i can't have you"

music older than me.  you love it! :)

i have neglected you, dedicated readers.  sorry about that!  it was a busy weekend, particularly in the evenings, when i normally update.  however, it's now sunday night, i'm not really doing anything, and i'll fill you all in on the past three days.  they've been good to me, actually. :)  forgive me for being mia the past couple days.

friday.  actually, friday wasn't particularly crazy or anything.  it was mostly just a friday, but the evening activities carried on into the early hours of saturday and that is why i decided to forgo updating.  it was another gorgeous day in the oc, and i headed off to work bright and early, perhaps earlier than most days, actually.  work was as busy as ever, even if i hadn't anticipated it being that way when the day started.  somehow, project after project appears on my desk.  but actually, i'm enjoying it thoroughly, even the work that comes in at 4pm on a friday afternoon.  yes, i'll complain about it, but i'll do it anyway and end up enjoying it. :)  and lunch was a good one!  a huge group of us went to wahoos.  delicious!

after work, i come home and did a bit of nothing, really.  i watched some tv.  i sat around.  i talked to some people who are honestly too cool to actually spend friday evenings talking to me (troy, chris, liz, etc.).  it was a great time!

a few minutes after 10, i got back in the volvo and headed out.  i had a hott date with two of my most attractive boyfriends, matt and heath.  i went to the late late showing of "the brothers grimm." :)  i'd been waiting for this movie for, like, my entire life.  it was such a fun movie! :)  the trailers i had to sit through before the movie, however, were super scary!  i wasn't expecting to have to sit through those!  oh, well.  and i really liked "the brothers grimm" in that it was completely entertaining for the whole two hours and it contains more imagination than i ever knew possible.  plus, i don't dislike anything featuring my #1 boyfriend. ;)

and saturday, it was right back at it!  actually, there was no way i was doing a whole lot of sleeping in when i have the windows open and the people across the way are blasting their music at 10:30am.  i mean, i was already up, but i still found it weird.  so anyway, i got up and put on the bathing suit and headed out.  (you know it's a good day when it starts out with the bathing suit.)  so i met jen wilbur up at her place in costa mesa, where i also met two other duke grads, alice (she lives in west la and is doing teach for america), and sean (who is from florida and was driving across the country on his way to stanford to start law school).  the four of us headed out to crystal cove state park in north laguna beach for a day by the ocean.  we walked around the trails there a bit before finding a place in the sand.  we played in the waves, which were definitely big enough to be surfing, and then napped (or at least i know i fell asleep) on the beach for the rest of the afternoon.  it is days as beautiful as that that are the reason i love living down here as much as i do. :)  and on our way back to jen's, we drove down the balboa peninsula, which was new to me.  it was a cute little area, and i'm sure i'll be making my way back there before too long.

after relaxing a few minutes and changing our clothes, the four of us headed up to huntington beach to find a cool place to have dinner.  i'd never been to huntington before, either, and i loved what i saw of it!  i will certainly also be heading back there again.  we found a place to park and then walked all the way down the pier.  there is a ruby's diner on the very end, so that is where we decided to eat.  of course, my the food was tasty!  and we hung out a bit at jen's before i headed back home.  it was a wonderful, beach-filled day!

and today... well... it was a sunday and the first sunday i've had in quite some time that i could spend doing a whole lot of nothing. :)  i enjoyed it thoroughly!  again, i didn't sleep particularly late, which i think is a side-effect of sort of bring a grown-up.  lame.  oh, well.  so i got up in the morning and discovered that the arthur ashe kids' day special was starting up on tv, so i put that on and curled up on the couch.  andy roddick goofing off with andre agassi on a tennis court is so fun to watch!  plus, it got me even more stoked about the u.s. open, which starts tomorrow!

anyway, i did other things with my day, as well.  i cleaned the entire apartment, including the balcony but not including the bathroom because i need to get the drain unclogged in the bathtub before it makes sense to clean it.  that may have been more info than any of you needed, but i'm leaving it there now. :)  this place was disgusting.  now, it's quite nice. :)

i also went to costco.  i nearly died about 6 times in the parking lot, and it was a madhouse inside, but i guess that's to be expected on a sunday afternoon at costco.  whatever.  i found some good things, like this awesome garlic bread they have in their bakery, so it was worth the trouble.  and then i went across the street to von's.  i hadn't been to this one before, but it was enormous.  you know how when i lived in malibu i was obsessed with going to albertson's through the canyon instead of the more convenient ralph's?  because it was so big and they had everything and it was all nice inside.  well, this von's may become my new albertson's.  it was a good one!  and they even had the hard-to-find roasted garlic alfredo pasta sauce.  yes!  so that trip was totally a success!

and basically, i've been up to nothing.  at.  all.  this evening. :)  i made a little dinner, i talked to some friends online, and just hung out.  now, i'm watching the vmas for no really good reason.  they're not that good.  but whatever, they're just on.  and after a bit more tv and maybe some reading, i'll head to bed so i can get some rest before a busy week and and an even busier weekend!  good night, all!  i hope you all had great weekends. :)

thursday 25 august 2005 9:47pm

"we've got barefoot ladies and tricked out mercedes
and people getting crazy on the boulevard
we've got classic colas and ice-cold coronas
and big pool parties in the back yard
i said, hey, that's the way we do it
new friends and blue skies that never end
hey, that's the way we like it
good times, sunshine, and summertime
you'll see straw sombreros and t-top cameros
and stereos blasting in the parking lot
you'll see rock-hard bodies and bikini hotties
and everybody's got it going on and showing what they got" -- faith hill "sunshine and summertime"

today.  was.  awesome.  awesome! :)  and it's a thursday!  i love my life, and i love this place, and i feel just ridiculous asking for any more at all.  so for now, i won't do any complaining, not tonight.  today was too good for that.

i woke up with a smile on my face this morning.  that's a good way to get any day started. :)  i got cleaned up, put on a cute skirt, had a little "breakfast," sent a few text messages to people i love and miss, and then headed off to work on this sunny laguna morning.

work is treating me well these days.  i seem to taking on more and more responsibilities, which i am totally loving.  i mean, three months into my first real job i feel like i'm accomplishing things and learning all sorts of new things, and of course, i'm enjoying the work.  it's good stuff. :)  i spent the morning working on our pro bono project, which is particularly cool because it's not at all hard and there aren't a lot of rules so i get to be more creative than when putting together the magazines.  marke, melissa, and i got takeaway lunch from the local pizza place, which is always delicious!  and i spent the afternoon learning how to put together brochures.  this is a bit tedious at times because there are zillions of little details, but i'm good at that stuff, and those 71 boxes will be perfectly aligned when i am finished. :)  and i also found time for popcorn and an online chat with sarah in my afternoon.  it was good.

as i was leaving the building after work, i realized how crazy-warm it was outside.  most people would call it hot.  i call it perfect. :)  i headed home thinking up ways i could enjoy this warm evening.  i got home and sat at the computer checking all the email and websites and crap that i check religiously, but i eventually decided to get up and do something rad.

i hopped in the volvo, opened up that sunroof, rolled down the windows, turned the stereo up a notch or two, and started driving.  i went up to laguna beach (only a couple miles from home, a surprisingly short drive) to have dinner out.  i went to gina's pizza and pasta.  i had heard it was a cool place and so i found myself a magical parking spot and headed inside.  it's order-at-the-counter italian.  and dirt cheap.  i ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and a drink and my whole dinner was less than $10.  and since it was such a beautiful night, i decided to sit outside at the counter that faces the sidewalk and also the coastline.  from where i sat, enjoying my delicious dinner of chicken parmesan and penne pasta, i could watch the sun setting over the pacific ocean.  um, no, no it does not get better than that.  so i sat and had a great meal.  also, there were two guys sitting next to me, and one of them smelled exactly like chris.  it freaked me out a bit, but it's a good smell, so you know. ;)  i even had to text chris to remind him that he's sad he's in michigan because i was sitting oceanside in laguna beach eating dinner and smelling someone who smelled exactly like him.  (does this make any sense to anyone else, or am i just nuts?)  so i enjoyed my dinner immensely.  then i got back in the volvo, opened up the sunroof and windows again, and headed back down pch.  i was stopped at a light when i randomly looked up through the sunroof and saw a sky full of stars.  and i know it doesn't sound like a big deal if you're from somewhere that's not la, but it is a big deal.  first of all, we have a marine layer here, which means nearly every night by 8:30, the sky is covered in clouds.  second of all, there are so many lights here that it is often too light, even in the middle of the night on a clear night, to actually see any stars.  but not tonight. :)  and i stopped for fro-yo on the way home, as well.  rawk!

and after a call to sarah and a call to the family, i'm writing this.  then i'll read a bit and then crash.  here's to hoping friday can live up to thursday.  good night.

wednesday 24 august 2005 9:35pm

"well it's not so bad
you're only the best i ever had" -- gary allan "best i ever had"

i went to bed early last night, but before falling totally alseep, i heard that the princeton review named my beloved pepperdine the most beautiful college campus as part of its college rankings that were just released. :)  duh.  have you been there?  it's gorgeous. :)  why i moved out of malibu, sometimes i am not sure.  and then i went to sleep.

i got up this morning, put on flip-flops, and headed off to work, just like most days.  and boy, was it a busy day of work, in a really good way.  there were lots and lots of things for me to take care of but i got enough of it done that i wasn't at work late at all. :)  it was good fun!  and that mid-afternoon popcorn was really a big helper!

after work, i headed home, stopping at trader joe's on the way.  i desperately needed milk, oj, and eggs.  pretty boring, i know, but i also picked up some fresh pesto while i was there, which could prove to be quite wonderful in the near future. :)  i love trader joe's.  seriously, it's the best.

then i came home, changed, and once again headed to the gym.  and again, i decided to run.  i'm not quite sure what has gotten into me, but i just felt like it.  and today, i didn't have to suffer through the local news in spanish.  i got to watch "lizzie maguire," which is so great! :)  also, i was distracted from the running by what other people wear to the gym.  weird stuff, let me tell you!  jeans.  khaki pants.  sandals.  nice watches.  dirty wifebeaters.  no shoes at all.  shoes that aren't athletics shoes but are meant to kind of resemble athletic shoes.  skirts.  seriously?  i saw all these things in the half an hour i spent in the gym today.  at least it was entertaining. :)

after the gym, i got cleaned up, had a little bit of dinner, and just hung out on my couch.  i talked to mom for a bit, which was particularly fun tonight because she's subscribing me to magazines because adam has to sell magazine subscriptions as a fundraiser at school.  rawk!  i talked to annahita on the phone for a bit, which was a fun treat.  and now, i'm just watching "mythbusters" until i eventually fall asleep.  good night, all!

tuesday 23 august 2005 10:21pm

"if you ask for my forgiveness
if you call my name i will come
if you ask for my love
i will give you some" -- faith hill "if you ask"

first are foremost, go to talk.google.com.  get google talk.  do it.  now.  and i'll be on username ktwyatt.  i think.  and if you don't have a gmail account, email me and i'll get you invited to that.

ok, so random lyrics tonight.  i don't know.  i'm not even sure how i feel about them.

today was a good one. :)  i got up this morning after a less-than-wonderful night of sleep but i was fine.  and let's just say that breakfast for one was delicious! :)  and there's no one to judge me for what it was because i live alone!

eventually, i headed off to work in my new kohl's shoes.  something to brag about?  sure, since they're way cute and were way cheap. :)  and work today was quite busy.  it had the potential to be slow because the magazines just went out, but it wasn't slow at all.  projects upon projects came my way, and i just went to work on those!  it's good to be that buys, i think, even when it interferes with my plans a little bit.

instead of leaving at 5, like i had planned, so that i could get to the gym and then down to the theatre for a 7pm movie, i left at 5:30 because i was wrapping up work.  so i raced home and i swear i did my commute through the twilight zone.  it was like the seas of traffic had been parted just for me so that i could get home in record time.  it was crazy but also awesome!  so i made it home, changed my clothes, and went straight to the gym.  with only 20 minutes to work out, i ran.  on a treadmill.  i never do that.  ever.  but i think i was just so amped after the busy day and the diet coke at lunch that i was totally up for it.  i don't know.  and i had to actually pay full attention to what i was doing -- running -- because the tv was on local news in spanish.  couldn't watch that.  so i just ran and it was good.  yeah, i really just said that.  no, i can't believe it either.

so then i raced back home, took a super-fast shower, threw on some clothes, and headed down to the movie theatre to meet jenna and melissa.  we got our free popcorn and then enjoyed "the 40-year-old virgin."  it was hilarious, though also very rated r.  but it was so funny and we laughed through the whole movie!

and then i came home and discovered that i could download google talk.  already!  it's not even wednesday yet!  so i did that, and i think everyone should get on it so i can stop feeling what's left of my tiny little soul rotting away as i support aol by using aim.  or something like that.  now, however, i need to get some sleep.  good night!

monday 22 august 2005 9:25pm

"i want you to love me with every step you take
what can you do with a day
what will you wake up and see
the farther you get, the closer to me
taj mahal, cameroon, back in time, to the moon
frozen lake, cypress tress, florida's missing keys
el dorado, spain or bust, eiffel tower, paris, just find your way in" -- dar williams "closer to me"

even after a good night's sleep, it still isn't fun to get up early on a monday morning.  but that's how life goes, and things work themselves out eventually through the day.  so that's kind of how the morning went.  stumbled out of bed, had a quick shower, went off to work.

work was good today, or at least good for a monday.  we got the magazine off to the printer.  i worked on a few little odds and ends here and there.  i still found time to read the superficial.  it was a good day. :)

and this evening, i came home, hung out for a few minutes, changed my clothes, and headed back out again.  i was off for my first trip to kohl's because marina told me about these really cute purses there for $7!  i had to check it out.  i didn't come away with a new purse, but i did find a cute pair of brown shoes, which was awesome because i've been looking for brown shoes. :)  and then i went to target because it was right there and they had tanks on sale and i also need a price adjustment on something i bought last week.  so there was that.  nothing particularly crazy or exciting but good enough for a monday. :)

and now it's a night in front of the tv. :)  it's a "laguna beach" monday!  i also made cupcakes, so those will keep me happy when the new episode starts at 10. :)  it's a good time around here, let me tell you! ;)

sunday 21 august 2005 9:09pm

"feelin' pretty good and that's the truth
it's neither drink nor drug induced
now, i'm just doin' alright...
sometimes it's lonely
sometimes it's only me
and the shadows that fill this room
sometimes i'm fallin'
desperately callin'...
and it's a great day to be alive
i know the sun's still shinin' when i close my eyes
there's some hard times in the neighborhood
but what can't every day be just this good?" -- travis tritt "it's a great day to be alive"

wow.  today was rad. :)  i'm so stoked, and i'll probably fail to convey in writing just how much fun i had, but i'll just tell you, it was awesome.  ok, so here's how it went...

i got this morning really early.  really early.  it was still dark out.  but it was totally ok. :)  i got cleaned up, threw on the clothes i picked out last night, and jumped in the car.  it was a crazy-foggy morning in laguna/dana point.  i went to 7:30 mass at st. edwards, which was nice.  the only disappointing part was that i thought that maybe the super-early mass wouldn't have the singing but it did.  oh, well.  it was less singing than the other mass i went to, though.

after mass, i headed north through the marine layer.  all the way up to one of my favorite places in the universe and definitely an excellent place to spend a sunday, manhattan beach.  i <3 manhattan beach.  a lot.  so anyway, i drove all the way up there so early in the morning so that i could attend the final day of the manhattan beach open, the wimbledon of tennis.  it's the most prestigious of all beach volleyball tournaments.  so i made it to manhattan in under an hour, parked in my beloved parking lot, grabbed a jamba juice, and walked down to the beach.

the avp set up was so rad.  not only do they build the whole stadium right there on the sand on the south side of the pier, they also build their village of sponsor booths in the sand.  i'm so thoroughly convinced now that these sorts of booths should always be in the sand!  :)  it was so cool!  so i found my way up into the stands and found a place to sit, right on the net, 2nd row of the cheap (free/general admission) seats.  and i parked myself there for the rest of the day.  i watched the third game of two quarterfinal matches (including getting to see the amazing karch kiraly and mike lambert), a semifinal match that also went to three games, and the finals that gibb/metzger won.  it was so much fun!  the avp did a great job of making sure that stuff was going on at center court all the time, even in the breaks between matches.  it wasn't at all hard to stay in my seat the whole time because i was entertained. :)

and after all the avp action had ended, i strolled up manhattan beach boulevard, checking out a couple surf shops.  i stopped for a bagel before headed back to my car.  i drove towards home, stopping to get my car washed once i got back to laguna since it'd been well over a month since the last time. :)  yeah, i've been awful about that lately.

and i have had a quiet evening here in the apartment.  i took a little nap.  i watched some tv.  i made a little dinner.  i gave myself a sunday night pedicure (red).  i talked to the family. it's been lovely.   a pretty perfect sunday. :)

saturday 20 august 2005 11:02pm

"i think i'll go down to the ocean
i think i'll go down and lie by the sea
sit alone and watch the waves break
i don't think i'm ever going to leave...
i know i've got this mission
things to do and things to say every day
and if you give your heart permission
i know you'd feel the same old way
to be waiting by the shore and not alone
i don't want to be alone anymore
i think i'll go down to the ocean" -- hanna-mceuen "ocean"

i woke up feeling pretty good this morning.  there was no time to waste lying in bed, though.  i had places to go, people to see, things to do, and all of that.  so i got out of bed, got cleaned up, and headed out.

after stopping for gas (i cannot believe just how much i paid for that tank of gas!), i headed up to laguna beach.  it's one of those places i knew i would love, and i've driven through a few times, but i hadn't ever really spent any time there.  it was time for me to change that.  i needed to actually spend time in this place that i knew i would love, right? :)  plus, there is a whole lot going on there in the summertime, and i don't have much time before the summer season is over.  so i drove out there, parked my car in a gravel lot the car was so dirty that i don't think i made the car any worse), and took the local trolley down the road to the sawdust festival.  the sawdust is an annual summer-long arts festival in laguna.  there were 200 local artists displaying and selling their art.  it was actually pretty cool!  i walked all around, looked at everything, and all that.  i even watched this guy blowing glass.  i watched him make a couple large vases, which were quite beautiful (and let me tell you, there is a lot of bad glass out there).  and the process is kind of slow but somehow beautifully hypnotic.  i don't know.  it was really amazing to watch.  it was boring for the kids whose parents were making them watch the whole time, though. :)  but i had a really nice time!  i also bought a really cool necklace from one artisan. :)  i hadn't planned on that, but i couldn't walk away from that necklace!

after i was done browsing the sawdust festival, i took the trolley to downtown laguna.  i walked all around.  it was very cool!  i want to go back to eat, though.  there are zillions of places that look wonderful, including the now-famous pomodoro that is on "laguna beach" all the time. :)  oh, i'm such a dork.  anyway, i strolled around and in and out of various shops.  i also walked over to main beach, walked down the boardwalk, and walked in the waves.  it was so fun!  the beach was crowded because it was a gorgeous day, but it was still awesome. :)  and eventually, i took the trolley back up the road to my car and headed out of laguna beach.

the next stop was a quick trip to costco.  bread, movie tickets, and m&ms were all the items on the list. :)  but i had to go, and it seemed like a good time to get that done.

and i've spent my evening at home just relaxing.  i did a lot of laundry.  i started straightening things up a bit.  i talked to some friends online.  i watched "clueless" on tv.  i enjoyed that garlic bread.  and tha'ts about it.  it's been good.

tomorrow, i have big plans, particularly for the early part of my day.  but you'll hear all about it tomorrow! :)  good night!

friday 19 august 2005 10:54pm

"but when you come back to me
you know exactly where i'll be
i'll be waitin' on the mornin'
lookin' for some home in a hopeless sky
all confused searchin' for a shade of truth
in a blue sunrise
i remember all the times together
the two of us making love 'til the morning light
everything without you leads me to
a blue sunrise" -- hanna-mceuen "blue sunrise"

i'm loving my new hanna-mceuen album.  seriously, it's very good.

yesterday, i took some time off.  instead of doing things that i normally do on a thursday evening, i just didn't.  and really, it was the perfect sacrifice.  i received the desired outcome.  so anyway, that's why i didn't update last night.  but i'm doing it now, so don't worry.

yesterday was actually a really good one in the way that days where nothing happens are really good.  it was exactly what i needed.  at work, i worked a bit on the magazine, and i also caught up on reading design magazines.  there is so much incredible stuff out there!  like more than any one person really has enough time to learn about.  it was fun getting started, though!  lunch was spent in the kitchen.  it was not that great.  there were, however, very delicious brownies in the kitchen, so my lunch ended extremely well!

after work, i came home.  that's all.  i didn't go to the gym.  i didn't go out anywhere exciting.  i just came home.  i watched a little tv.  i talked to some friends online.  and then i went to bed.  really early.  in my world, obscenely early.  and it was so good!!!  it was definitely the best decision of the day to not do anything but instead just get some actual sleep for a serious amount of time.

so this morning, i could have used a little bit more sleep, but i was still totally satisfied when i got up.  it was so excellent!  i don't really know the last time i got a serious 9+ hours of sleep.  this made it even better, i think! :)  so anyway, i got up and got dressed, enjoyed crumpets for breakfast, and headed off to work.

it was another good day of work.  i worked on the magazine, and i also worked on cleaning up our archives. they were (and actually still are) a mess and it was hard to find things.  i am attempting to make things at least a little bit better.  and i added to our archives, as well. :)  and i finally was able to stream krty on my computer on the speakers that i finally plugged into my computer, so i listened to that most of the day.  i even got desiree to play a couple songs for me! :)  woohoo!  i miss listening to krty all the time, so i'm glad i can finally do it at work now.  so all-in-all, it was a good day in the office.  also, we all had lunch at san clemente pizza co., which was tasty.

after work, i did what i tend to like to do on friday afternoons, go to the mall.  so i went up to the shops at mission viejo and walked all around and spent too much money on clothes.  it was such a good time!  i'm not sure why i find it enjoyable to just wander around there (or any other mall or shopping center), but i do.  i like all the people and all the things to look at.  it's fun!  so i had a good time there. :)

and tonight, i've just been relaxing.  i watched a bit of tv.  i talked on the phone with friends.  i chatted online.  i put up new photos on flickr.  all that good stuff.  oh, and i had a delicious dinner of mac and cheese!  and i'm pretty much about ready to crash now.  it should be an excellent weekend, though!

wednesday 17 august 2005 10:51pm

"you're never hard to find 'cause you're always on my mind
no matter where i am
just like a lonely friday night downtown
where everyone i know is out
the radio's my only friend around
and all i do is think of you
it's a little like an old sad song
it kills you but you sing along
the melody just tears you all apart
it's something like a broken heart" -- hanna-mceuen "something like a broken heart"

from the very first time i heard this song, i fell in love with it.  the words were just so right, they hit me like a thud.  i don't know.  it's just one of those songs i heard at the exact right moment or something.  anyway, i love it.  and yesterday was hanna-mceuen new music tuesday, so it seems like a great time to share these lyrics.

so i got up early this morning, not quite ready for wednesday but willing to give it a go anyway.  the mornings have been rough lately for whatever reason.  anyway, i took my mostly-cold shower (as i've been doing for the past 2+ weeks because of my broken water heater) and got dressed.  i found some breakfast, chatted with mom on the phone for a few minutes, and then headed out to work.

work was good.  somehow, i ended up in a couple long discussions that seemed to be only mildly work-related, but i couldn't just walk away from them, either.  so i participated as i felt was necessary of me.  i'm not sure how or why these things start, but every now and again they just do.  the rest of my day was also just fine.  we got "cots" put together enough for the first round of corrections to be made.  and for lunch, i picked up pizza from z pizza and brought it back to my desk where i could comfortable eat and ready the latest issue of "lucky" magazine. :)  a good way to spend a few minutes of my day! :)

after work, i headed home while also discussing plans to go to washington, d.c., to visit annahita.  as soon as i got home, i used frequent flyer miles to book a trip to washington over my labor day weekend!  yay!  i'm going!  i'm so stoked about it.  there's a lot for me to see and do there, and it'll also be a lot of fun to see annahita. :)

and being so stoked about the trip, i was pumped up enough to head over to the gym.  plus, i have to work off these pizza lunches at some point.  so i did that, and then came back to the apartment and got cleaned up.  i took a shower.  and the water was hot the entire time!  they replaced my water heater today while i was at work, so now i can take long showers again!  woohoo!

then i headed back out.  the first stop was best buy for the hanna-mceuen cd.  it was hard to find, especially since there were only 4 copies in stock, but i did eventually find it. :)  and so far, so good!  and then it was over to borders, where i procured the latest issue of the new american version of "ok!" magazine (i've been meaning to try it out and see what i think), as well as a washington, d.c. guidebook.  i love the guidebooks! :)  i will make the most out of my time there.  and then it was off to target, where i just needed to pick up some essentials.  of course, i also found some cute pants in the process, but you know. ;)  target it dangerous for me!  i shouldn't be allowed to go there, really.

and then i headed back home, where i enjoyed even more pizza.  there's not a whole lot better in life than leftover cpk pizza.  seriously.  i mean, the only way it would be better is if it were the pizza the first time around.  but it was delicious.  and i informed my family of my washington plans.  and i watched a bit of andy roddick playing tennis.  overall, it's been a wonderful evening.  now, i'm tired.  good night.

tuesday 16 august 2005 11:19pm

"baby, someday you'll get over your fear of flying" -- shelly fairchild "fear of flying"

sleep.  i don't do it anymore.  there aren't enough hours in the day.  so i've give it up.  and that sucks, but it's true.  something's gotta give.  that's what it is.  at least right now.  and i know it because i can't see anymore.  my eyes are too tired.  and perhaps i'm being a bit dramatic and perhaps i'll make some time to sleep this weekend.  but perhaps not.  somehow, it seems like there are so many other ways to spend my time.  and don't get me wrong; i love sleeping.  but somehow, i find myself not sleeping and instead doing a whole host of other things.  and i'm exhausted.

so that alarm clock went off once again this morning.  i got up.  i got clean.  i got dressed.  i got fed.  i got in my car and headed for work, just like i'm mean to do on tuesdays.  work was definitely enough to keep me busy today.  there was half a magazine for me to create.  and figures for the whole magazine, so i had a lot on my plate.  i pretty much just worked straight through the day, without taking too many breaks to chat with co-workers, play darts, read news online, and al those sorts of things that somehow seem to often find their way into my daily schedule.  no, no, no.  today was about.  and by the time that 4:30 was rolling around, i was finishing up what i needed to get done today!  hooray!  this is a major success. :)

after work, i headed straight home, talking to meg on the phone all the way.  it had been too long since we'd caught up, and i knew that there might not be another good chance for a few more days, so i took advantage of my time in the car.  and by the time i got home and changed, i needed to go straight to the gym.  then i came back home and got cleaned up as quickly as possible.

tonight, i met jenna and lea at the theatre just down the road from me for a tuesday night movie.  free popcorn on tuesday nights with my regal card! :)  we saw "wedding crashers," which i'd already seen before but had enjoyed the first time around enough to at least consider seeing it again.  so i did, and it was good fun! :)  i may have even enjoyed it more the second time around.

and tonight i'm trying to work out how to do a bit of traveling.  it's such a pain in the butt to try to fly using frequent flyer miles.  it really is like that david spade commercial.  "no!"  but i'm doing my best, and i'll see what i can work out.  two trips all the way across the country.  that should knock out a few miles.  mom's trying to use them up before all these airlines crash, burn, and go out of business.  ok, so anyway, if anyone has any good tips on how i can get myself to washington, d.c. or syracyse, ny, let me know!  for now, i'm off to try to squeeze in a little nap before wednesday.  wish me luck.

monday 15 august 2005 11:11pm

"hey, i can be tender, i can be sweet
i can sweep the devil off his red-hot feet
oh, i do love dancin' down a hardwood hall" -- shelly fairchild "ready to fall"

i must admit that right about now i'd much rather be tucked into bed than still on the couch writing this journal entry.  but for whatever reason (actually, i know exactly why, but we won't get into that), i'm dedicated to this and am thus writing tonight.  so consider this your warning that this might not be the best written piece ever.  i'm tired.  give me a break.  you know you love me and you'll end up reading whatever crap i post anyway. ;)

ok, so it was rough when that alarm clock went off this morning, but i figured out what was going on and i managed to stumble my way to the shower.  and after getting cleaned up and deciding not to bother doing my hair this morning, i headed to work stopping for a donut for breakfast on the way. :)

work today was pretty good.  we wrapped this month's rtc, and shipped that off to the printer. :)  yay!  and we're working on getting the first draft of the month's cots together in the next couple days.  shannon bought groceries at trader joe's, so we got to eat (free) lunch in the kitchen today. :)  but do not worry!  i managed to get outside today, anyway!  this afternoon, jenna realized that her coupon for frozen yogurt at the place just down the street expired today, so jenna, melissa, and i made a quick run down there for fro-yo!  rawk!

after work today, i headed home and made it there with  just enough time to change out of the pants i got chocolate on this morning, relax for a minute, and get back into the car.  i drove up to costa mesa to see jen.  jen is a friend of annahita, and she just moved out here (she's from boston).  i went over to her apartment for dinner with her and her roommate, crystal.  it was delicious, and i had a nice time hanging out with her there.  it was a good time!

and i made it back home just in time to catch the newest episode of "laguna beach," while also discussing it on the phone with my brother.  it was lots of fun!  i love that show!  and now i'm just trying to stay awake while on the couch.  i'm off to bed.  there is a lot of lost sleep to catch up on.  good night.

sunday 14 august 2005 9:53pm

"born to run underneath the stars
pay no mind to my lonely heart
i just ride, ride
'til i'm back in your arms again
i'll be out here on the wind
and i'll ride
'til i'm back in your arms again
i'll be out here on the wind and i'll ride
through the middle of the night unknown
i'm on a ride that won't let me go" -- jason aldean "asphalt cowboy"

after a weekend as busy as this one was, i'm not even quite sure where to start, what to write, how to say it all.  but more than anything, know that i had a good time! :)

friday started out like most other fridays, with that silly alarm clock.  but after getting all ready for work, i put my suitcase in the trunk of my car, and i took katherine with me, as well.  i showed her how to get to my office, and then i left her with my car for the day.  she took it back to my apartment, while i spent my morning working away.  and at lunchtime, she came back to the office, and we went out to daphne's for a greek lunch.  then she came back to the office with me.  not too long after that, we hit the road.

highway 5, to be exact.  it was a long 60 miles or so drive down to mission bay in san diego.  it took us just a little less than 2 hours because of the crazy heavy traffic, but we did make it there eventually.  we checked into the catamaran resort and made our way up to our room there.  we sat for a few minutes before getting ready for the evening's activities.  once i put on my yellow dress and did my hair, we headed up to jenna's room to  meet up with some other people.

eventually, we all made our way down to the hotel's luau.  that's right.  a luau.  at a hotel in san diego.  but it sounded like fun, and katherine hadn't ever been to a luau (besides the one we threw for our high school graduation party) and everyone else was also going.  so we went.  and it was actually pretty fun!  they had a big buffet of hawaiin food, which i knew i wasn't going to like so much.  i haven't really been to a luau where i liked the food.  so after picking up a few things from the buffet, i raided the kiddie buffet, which included chicken nuggets, tater tots, and pizza.  awesome! :)  and the dancing was part interesting and part cheezy.  that's kind of how it goes on the mainland, though.  actually, that's kind of how it goes in general, unless you seek out a particularly authentic luau.  either way, it was a good time!

after the luau, katherine and i put on some warmer clothes -- despite the hawaiian-themed evening, the weather wasn't so tropical -- and decided to take a walk around the area.  we ended up walking along the path along the beach on mission bay.  it was nice out once we were walking.  eventually, we decided to just sit on the beach and enjoy the sight of the lights around the bay.  and only a few minutes after that, a fireworks show started on the other side of the bay, so we go to watch a beautiful show!  it was a serendipitous occurrence!

saturday morning, we woke up bright and early so that we could make the most of our day.  after getting dressed, we headed over to balboa park to the san diego zoo.  it had been 6 or 7 years since either of us had been there, so we decided a weekend in san diego would be a wonderful chance to go back again.  we had a wonderful time looking at all the animals!  my favorites were the koalas, giraffes, and elephants, i think.  of course, there are lots of cool animals, there.  ooh... the jaguar!  that was a good one!

in the afternoon we headed back to the hotel to rest our legs and get cleaned up.  our evening was spent beach-side at the only official function of the weekend company retreat, the company bbq.  the food was good, and the company was great, so i had a really nice time.  the setting right next to the beach was absolutely perfect!  it was so perfect, in fact, that someone else was just a few yards away throwing a beach-side wedding.  kath and i dashed down the path to watch the bride and her father (i'm assuming) walk down the aisle.  she looked very pretty, even if i'm not really a fan of the ivory dress, especially on someone who looked so young.  but anyway, it was a cute little wedding.

after the bbq, we met up in jenna's room before heading down to the hot tub.  we relaxed there for awhile until two extremely piss-drunk guys (and the girl they were both trying to get on) got a little bit too obnoxious.  the  splashing/cannonballs were inappropriate, but the snotrockets served as our official cue to leave.  men.  in their 30s.  yeah.  so we went back up to jenna's room to hang out in a splash-free zone.  and from our balcony, we got to watch those guys get escorted out by security, after what appeared to be a few more cannonballs in the presence of the security guard.  really classy, guys.  so after watching that, we watched "ray" on tv until katherine and i were both mostly asleep and decided to get into our own beds.

and today, we were up again.  we got up, packed up, and headed down to the hotel lobby to meet up with jenna, melissa, chris, marke, and katrina.  we walked down pacific beach to kono's for some breakfast.  the place was delicious (and cheap)!  my breakfast consisted of pancakes, eggs, potatoes, an english muffin, bacon, and fresh orange juice, and i didn't even come close to finishing it.  so good!  and then we strolled back to the hotel and went our separate ways.

katherine and i headed a couple miles up the coast to la jolla.  neither of us had even been there before, and this seemed like a good opportunity to check it out.  after finding a place to park (quite a task itself), we strolled all along the coastline there.  it was absolutely gorgeous!  stunning!  i loved it so much! :)  it was mostly pretty rugged but there were pockets of sand, as well.  and we also strolled along a couple main streets along all the cafes and shops, which was pretty cool.  it's been a weekend of walking, it seems.  we took one last chance to sit on a bench and watch the ocean before getting in the volvo and heading north.

a couple hours later, we arrived in westwood.  we parked and found dinner at california pizza kitchen.  we even got to sit outside and people-watch.  it was perfect!  good food, good "scenery."  and then, of course, we went to diddy riese for ice cream sandwiches for dessert!  there's no other place quite like that!  sooo good!  and then i had to bring kath back to her dorm room and head back to laguna.

now, it's time for me to get some sleep before another busy day tomorow!  i'm exhausted now, but it was a wonderful weekend!  my photos will be up on flickr soon.  i'll let you know.  good night!

thursday 11 august 2005 11:38pm

"i've caught your fallen tears
before they hit the ground...
i want to be there when you wake up
be more than just your friend
baby there's no mistakin'
you're the love i wanna be in
i've kept my feelings
under lock and key
i couldn't let you see them
even though it was killing me
you can't imagine all the time i've spent
wishing you were mine
i just know if we ever kissed we'd go crazy baby
for the rest of our lives" -- jason aldean "you're the love i wanna be in"

wow, kids!  it's been a busy day, and i'm not slowing down any time soon.  but it's a good thing, i think. :)  i need some way to occupy my time, after all.  and if it's fun stuff, then i'm happy to be doing it.

i got up on this this morning, got dressed, headed to work -- the the usual morning routine.  nothing too out of the ordinary, but that's really just fine with me.  and work today was pretty good.  i'm just doing work.  i don't know how else to describe it really.  more figures.  more corrections.  more layout.  it's good stuff!

at lunchtime, melissa, jenna, and i went to the nail salon.  i wanted a french manicure since the nails were looking pretty good.  well, the experience was less than wonderful.  i got the woman who spoke not a single word of english (yes, really) and didn't really know what she was doing.  at one point, i was filing my own nails in a sad attempt to save what was left of them.  but really, they didn't turn out that well.  i guess that's the risk that comes with going to a new place.  we picked up lunch on our way back to the office.

after work, i went home and went to teh gym.  then it was straight back to the apartment to get cleaned up.  then i took off the "french manicure" and the polish i had on my toes and started all over again.  i got my fingernails back to a nice shape, even if they are significantly shorter than they were this morning.  and now all 20 nails look pretty good in a bright, summery pink.  :)

then i hopped in the car right away (yes, with wet nails!  i was feeling risky, i guess) and drove all the way up to westwood to retrieve katherine and bring her back to laguna with me for the night.  tomorrow afternoon, we'll head to san diego with the rest of the rtc group for the weekend.  it's our company retreat.  it will involve a beautiful resort, a luau, a bbq, a trip to the zoo or wild animal park, and lots of sunshine.. it should be a good time! :)

wednesday 10 august 2005 11:06pm

"sometimes i feel like i never quite fit in
like i'm always a little out of place
it's hard to be everything to everyone
there's so many roles i have to play
sometimes i'm just barely hanging on
seems like i'm always fighting to be strong
to find somewhere that i belong
when you love me every part of me feels
like i'm right where i'm meant to be
when you touch me you reach through to
my soul to the truest place in me
baby in your arms i'm free
to just be a woman
i can't believe how beautiful i feel
there is nothing here to hide
i'm unafraid and so completely real
oh and never more alive
this life can be so hard to understand
but your eyes of they see me as i am
and you take me as i am...
baby hold me close never let me go
never let me go" -- martina mcbride "when you love me"

i never oversleep.  i always get straight out of bed with the alarm.  except today.  today i woke up at 8:35, the exact time that i am normally walking out the door.  that is so annoying!  i think it was the men using chainsaws and leafblowers outside my window starting at 6:30.  i think it threw me all off or something.  i don't know.  so i had a running start today.

work today was good.  i had some things to take care of, and i got a jumpstart on the figures for the next magazine.  so things there are good.  plus, i got to listen to my music in the afternoon, which is always a nice little treat for me.  my lunchtime was spent running a couple errands (post office, bank) and picking up pizza from z pizza for a quickie lunch.

this afternoon, i came straight home so i'd get here in time to put money on my laundry card.  it's one of those crazy annoying things that i'm not sure what to do about.  i tried to explain to the lady in the office how impossible it is for me to put money on my laundry card but she cared not in the slightest and i couldn't argue with her.  i knew if i opened my mouth it would just be bad news for both of us.  i'm going to have to argue with someone else later.  it was not going to turn out well today.  so i put money on the card and got moving.

i went home, changed, and went to the gym.  i had to listen to two women talk very loudly with each other (they were the only other two people in the room) for the whole time i was in there and one was even singing along to the music in various commercials and songs that were used as background music.  it was weird, but whatever.  i just kept reading my book.

then i came home, got cleaned up, had some dinner, and watched the a's beat the angels!  woot!  i also did some laundry and called my dad to wish him a happy (59th!!!) birthday.  it was a good night.  i'm not all that tired, though, and i'll be up for awhile longer because boyfriend keith urban is on conan tonight.

tuesday 9 august 2005 10:47pm

"my heart's not ready for the rocking chair
i need somebody who really cares
so tired of living solitaire
someday i'm gonna be
safe in the arms of love" -- martina mcbride "safe in the arms of love"

it's been a quiet day, really.  but in a nice way. :)

i got up just like pretty much all weekdays, hopped into the shower, got dressed, had some breakfast, and headed out.  since i wasn't up to anything, i left a few minutes early.  it seemed like traffic was a lot lighter than usual, but maybe that was because i was just in less of a rush.  not sure.  but i made it to work in what seemed like record time, and my day got kicked off right away.  there was lots of work to do, so i just got started.  and a good portion of my morning was spent in a company meeting, my first ever.  it was... a company meeting.

for lunch, jenna and i made a run to super bowl for chicken teriyaki bowls.  mmm... tasty! :)  and we just brought it back to the office and kept working away.  sometimes, that's just the easiest thing to do.

after work today, i headed straight home.  mid-drive katie rugh rang me so i talked to her for awhile.  and then i had a quick little nap on the couch... accidentally.  oops!  it was really nice, though.

eventually, i got up off the couch (i never like doing that much ;)) and headed out to borders for a little browsing and because i needed to pick up a couple things.  of course, i found way more than i had anticipated, but that's alright.  everything was pretty essential.  riiight... :)

and then i came home, watched a bit of baseball, and talked to the family.  i made myself a little dinner.  i talked to some friends online for awhile.  it's been quiet, but good.  good night.

monday 8 august 2005 9:50pm

"sittin' here starin'
at the muddy water moon
underneath the spell of the night
i'm gonna give you everything i got
so get over here and hold me tight
'cause in the mornin'
oh, i want you in the evenin'
all the time and in between it
i want you in every way
oh, yeah, so kiss me
i just want to be together
and no one's gonna love you better
every night and every day, yeah yeah
baby, you know you got me
but the look in my eyes
oh, i give myself away" -- shelly fairchild "kiss me"

alright, so i suppose it's time for me to update this journal.  i had a nice long weekend up at home in the big s.c.  there seems like there's a lot to tell, but i'm not even really sure how this is going to turn out.  i'll just start at the beginning and write until i come to an end.  here goes...

friday was sort of a long day at work in that i had about one million things i was trying to get done.  but i worked hard while i was there.  and with pretty much the whole office emptied out by the time it reached 4 o'clock, i bailed as well.  i decided i wasn't really up to hanging out in that 405 friday afternoon traffic, so i took the toll road (73) up to john wayne.  it was so worth the toll to be able to set my cruise control for the whole ride.  and i made in like half an hour, which is awesome!  i parked my car in the long-term lot and took the shuttle over to the airport.

i was at the airport extremely early for my 8:10 flight, so i tried to get on an earlier flight.  i didn't want to pay the $20 to change my flight, though, so i decided i would just wait it out.  i had my cell phone, after all. :)  so i headed through security to my gate.  and i found a nice place by the windows where i could watch the cali sun set over the trees.  and i rang sarah.  i talked to her until my partially-charged cell phone was on the verge of dying.  and then i was left to a magazine.  and then my flight got delayed.  and delayed further.  so by the time i should have been home, i was still in the terminal at john wayne.  so by the time i made it all the way to san jose it was too late for the dinner at taxis i had planned with my brother and dad.  lame.  so they picked me up and we just went home.

meg then came over.  we have to squeeze in whatever time we can find, and sometimes that's the middle of the night.  so we went to denny's in san mateo.  it was far more crowded and far more sketchy than either of us had really expected, but we found a table and enjoyed each other's company there.  we shared a sampler platter and then each had desserts.  it was good fun in the small town.

saturday i was up and at em early!  too early!  i had to go to the dentist, where i got to listen to a grown man be very nervous about having x-rays taken of his teeth.  it was pretty hilarious!  then i headed home and got cleaned up.

saturday afternoon was spent at pac bell park with the family at the giants game.  i had been wanting to go to a game all season, so once i knew i was going home i just went ahead and bought tickets.  20 rows back right at first base.  not too shabby!  pepperdine grad noah lowry pitched 7 awesome innings allowing just 1 hit and giving up only 2 walks.  rawk!  and the giants actually played well, beating the astros 5-2.  of course, an important part of the ballpark experience was the food!  a hot dog and garlic fries were wonderful!  so good!

after an afternoon nap, the family and i went to toto's for a pizza dinner, and then we all wandered around best buy.  we're all looking for different stuff, so we were entertained there for awhile, and then stopped for ice cream on the way home.  it was a cool night out with the fam.

sunday morning, we all headed to daly city to meet grandma, jason, brenda, auntie joyce, auntie lily, uncle ken, and theresa for lunch at sizzler (per grandma's request).  i finally discovered that there's something on their menu that i will at least eat a little bit of: the kid's grilled cheese.  and i made jason jealous, so i guess it was a good choice!  and afterwards, just like all the other asian families in daly city, all of us went and wandered around target.  yeah, all together.  we were that family. ;)

i spent the afternoon hanging out with the family and watching nascar (we're not sure particularly why) on tv.  it was just quiet and nice and seemed like home.  eventually, though, i had to pack up all my things and head to san jose to catch my plane back to orange county.  i made it back without incidence.

and then there was today.  monday.  after a lovely weekend.  i couldn't sleep last night, but whatever.  i wasn't particularly tired when i woke up this morning anyway. i got cleaned up, had some breakfast, and headed to work.

work today was as busy as ever with magazines about to go out.  i worked pretty hard all day.  at lunchtime, however, melissa, jenna, jan, lea, and i went to wahoos for some food since there's absolutely nothing in the kitchen.  and instead of heading straight back to work afterwards, we stopped at this new frozen yogurt place for some froyo.  it was quite tasty! :)

and tonight, i went to the gym before just relaxing on the couch.  i also had a really good time talking to josh for awhile tonight.  it's been forever since we found time to catch up with each other.  he's in nyc for about another month before heading back to la to start his brand new job.  pretty exciting!

and tonight's a big tv night for me!  "laguna beach" was awesome, and i'm looking forward to my matt on leno!  :)  stay tuned...  there's always something going on...

sunday 7 august 2005 9:46pm

"i gonna give you everything i got
so get over here and hold me tight" -- shelly fairchild "kiss me"

i'm sorry.  i'm not ready to update about the weekend tonight.  i can't.  tomorrow, though.

thursday 4 august 2005 11:01pm

"we started something
it's the real thing
we got what everyone's waiting for
they are so quick to judge what we can be
but our flame is burning from the core
our fire is never gonna fade
so just close your eyes
'cause it's all right
it's all right
stay with me, lay with me
lean on me, call on me
run with me, dream with me
pray with me, fall on me
whenever you need me
i'll be by your side
as sure as the sun's gonna rise" -- shannon curfman "son's gonna rise"

happy birthday, katherine!

sheesh.  i'm tired.  the alarm has been startling all week, and today was no different.  i'm tired in the mornings.  there are several hours worth of sleep to catch up on.  but things were a bit better today because the cast of the "rent" movie was on the "today" show this morning, so that was fun.  i'm very excited about the film coming out in november!  it's meant to be wonderful!

work today was really nice. :)  this morning, melissa wanted to hear my new faith hill album, so we played that.  and then she wanted to hear it again, which you know was perfectly fine with me. :)  and pretty much the whole day melissa was picking out music on my ipod to play, so i was stoked!  and most likely it would have been a much more miserable day without the wonderful soundtrack.  they are keeping me 110% busy these days.  yes, i love it.  but i love having the music to keep me settled.  so i worked really hard all day long.  it was good.

after work, i headed straight home and then went pretty much directly to the gym.  why waste any time, right? ;)  or perhaps i just wanted to get it over with.  and then i came home and got cleaned up and had a bit of dinner.  then i needed to do laundry, so i walked over to albertson's to get cash to put on my laundry card.  then i went to the gym to do just that.  and the machine was gone.  after calling after-hours emergency maintenance, i learned that the machine has been moved to the leasing office, which is only open 9-6.  am i ever home during those hours?  no.  no, i am not.  great.  of course, i desperately needed to do laundry because i need to pack my suitcase.  suck.  i did discover $5 on my card already so i did two emergency loads.  i'm not sure what i'll do about the future, however.  other than complain to management, of course.

and i talked to sarah on the phone.  sometimes, a laguna-to-syracuse call can make things better even if it really solves nothing. :)  so i talked to her for awhile, even if it was nearly 2am there.  she's the best.

and now, i'm off to put the laundry away and pack my suitcase.  after work tomorrow, i'm headed straight to john wayne so i can fly home for the weekend.  there are lots of things planned.  i'm not sure when i'll next update (if i'll do it from home or not), but i will get you the details soon enough.  good night!  happy weekend!

wednesday 3 august 2005 10:43pm

"i'd give this world to you
every rock and every stone
every masterpiece in rome
and if you asked me to
i'd steal the mona lisa
tear it up in little pieces
and lay them at your feet
for all the world to see...
and i'd give this world to you
i'd steal the crown and kingdom
from the queen of england
and if you asked me to
i'd take this city in my hands
break it down in grains of sand
and lay them at your feet
for all the world to see" -- faith hill "paris"

i stayed up too late last night.  :(  oops!  hehe!  actually, i wanted to see faith hill on leno and i was all energized because i was still stoked on the wonderful fan fair special.  so i stayed up past my bedtime to see the performance, which was fun.  until my alarm clock went off this morning.  but i got as, as delirious as i was.

work today was busy, but i know that i didn't accomplish as much as i had set out to.  i worked all morning on rtc figures with the plan of spending all afternoon on reprints and newsletters.  well, it didn't work out quite that well.  melissa, marke, and i ordered pizza for delivery from beach cities for lunch, which was an excellent idea.  and then jan's wife, tey, came over with their newborn (1 month old exactly) baby boy, lucas.  so cute!  he was pretty good most of the time just sleeping.  but of course, there was a lot of attention to be paid to lucas, which meant little attention being devoted to actual work.  so a good portion of the afternoon was just a wash.  i guess i know what i'll be doing tomorrow: the work i didn't do today. :)  but it was a nice day.

this afternoon, i went to the gym and then came back here and got cleaned up.  and then i made myself a quesadilla for dinner with those amazing tortillas from trader joe's.  mmm!  so good!  and then i headed out again in my attempt to entertain myself for the evening.

the first stop of the night was target.  i wanted to pick up the new faith hill album.  i did.  but somehow i also found a few new pieces of clothing in the process, as well. :)  it was a good time!  and the next stop was the bookstore.  i wanted to look through magazines, so i did.  it was enjoyable!

and now i'm just hanging out at home.  not up to a whole lot except wondering when i'll get around to cleaning up this messy apartment.  maybe tomorrow... ;)

tuesday 2 august 2005 11:05pm

"i live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore
then i will walk, yes i will walk
with patience through that open door
i have no fears, angels follow me wherever i may go
i live this life until this life won't let me live here anymore" -- big and rich "live this life"

i forgot an excellent random story from yesterday!  so i'll share now. :)  yesterday morning when i was waiting in the lobby of the volvo place for the rental car people to pick me up, a man (another customer, i believe) came up to me and asked me if i was from hawaii.  he said he saw my license plate frame.  and do you know what i told him?  i told him that i was not from hawaii but that my part of my family was.  mostly, that's not really true.  i'm not hawaiian.  i have no hawaiian blood in me, even if every time i go there people assume i'm a local.  (i love that!)  technically, i have no family from hawaii.  i do, however, have some "relatives" that are hawaiian.  then the man asked me what island they're from.  i answered big island.  also only questionably true at best.  he said he was born and raised in maui (and he totally pronounced "maui" like a hawaiian.)  then he handed me his business card (he has some sort of hawaiian business though i'm still not sure what it is exactly) and walked away.  so i'm a compulsive liar, apparently.  consider yourselves warned. ;)

ok, so this morning i got up at a far more reasonable hour than yesterday morning, but it still hurt.  i went to bed when conan was on, which means i got less than 7 hours.  oh, well.  as i said before, i'm pretty much giving up hope for a full night of sleep now.  so i put on a cute skirt and headed to work, stopping only for gasoline on the way.

there was plenty to keep me busy at work today.  it was actually a really good time.  i spent the morning working on little things and new rtc figures.  and i enjoyed a lunch of macaroni grill leftovers in the kitchen today, a far superior meal to my standard kitchen fare of peanut butter and jelly.  and most of my afternoon was spent in a brainstorming meeting with the whole art department (jenna, jan, melissa, marke, and myself) for the upcoming 2006 media kits.  we started out with ice breakers, at which point i got to share my pig's foot story, and moved on to proper (is there such a thing?) brainstorming.  we came up with some really cool ideas, and i actually really am looking forward to seeing how these turn out. :)  they should be awesome!

this evening, i stopped briefly at trader joe's and albertson's to pick up a few necessities, drinks mostly.  and then i headed home, changed my clothes, and went to the gym.  i found it really odd that the tv in there was on a spanish channel (the only guy in there at the time was watching it intently).  should i be bothered?  is that fair?  i'm not sure.  but it wasn't a big deal since i was reading my own book, anyway.  so the gym was good.

and tonight i made a sandwich with the leftover macaroni grill bread.  so tasty!  then i spent my night watching abc's special on the cma music fest (fan fair)!  oh.  goodness.  i'll just say that i had an absolute blast watching.  yes, it was better the first time around and in person (in the rain), but it was great to get to relive a good portion of it tonight.  and if anyone had hidden a camera in my apartment, they might have watched me singing and dancing along with the whole show.  i loved it!  so what if i sing to the tv? ;)  so fun!

and now, a bit more sleep before wednesday. good night.

p.s. tonight's lyrics were an important part of the fan fair special.

monday 1 august 2005 11:34pm

"there must be a million thoughts rushing through your mind
and if there's one of me, love, among them that you find
won't you stop for just a little while and treat it extra kind
when you think of me, love, if i cross your mind
think of only good things if i cross your mind" -- dolly parton "if i cross your mind"

despite the fact that i seem to have given up sleeping any appropriate number of hours for the next few weeks, things are actually looking up! :)  i'm exhausted, but i figure i'll just sleep when i'm dead.

i got up at 6am this morning, an hour an a half earlier than normal.  and i didn't get more than a couple hours of actual sleep last night.  oh, well.  so i got dressed in the dark instead of the sunshine because it was just too early.  and once i was all ready, i called my local volvo dealer with the hopes of bringing my broken car into them this morning.  but they kindly informed me that i could bring my car in but they wouldn't even get around to looking at it until tuesday or wednesday.  no, thank you.  so i called the independent volvo shop i found in the yellow pages.  it seemed reputable, and they were willing to take my car and look at it this morning.  plus, the guy on the phone was swedish.  no, it does not get better than that.  i knew everything was going to be just fine when i talked to the swedish man.  see, back in san carlos, the volvo shop i would always go to was run by a swedish guy.  and they were great.  so i filled my coolant tank (which immediately started leaking back out again) and headed to the volvo place.  the swedish man helped me there, as well.  the only hard part was waiting a very long time for the enterprise people to pick me up so i could rent a car while mine was in the shop.  but that eventually happened, and i was only half an hour late for work.

work today was good.  i'm keeping busy, and i caught up with all the co-workers after the weekend.  it was a fun day, though i can't really pinpoint a specific reason why.

i snuck out a few minutes early and headed to enterprise to bring my rental car (a stripped out corolla) back to them and have them bring me back to the volvo place to retrieve my car.  the leaky hose has been repaired, and i also the service i'd been needing!  perfect!  they even replaced the bulbs i've been slacking on. :)  and i now have my car back in full working order.  i'm stoked!

this evening, i came home for a snack and then headed back out again.  i went up to aliso creek to see "march of the penguins."  the film was absolutely beautiful!  it's worth seeing just to look at it.  it's stunning.  i've never wanted to go to the antarctic more.  plus, morgan freeman did a fabulous job with the narration.  and who doesn't love penguins?  they're so cute!  i also found many parts of the film unexpectedly romantic.  seriously.  and after the movie, i went over to the macaroni grill for a delicious takeaway dinner of bread, mozzarella, and penne arrabiata. :)  mmm!

and of course, it's monday night, which means "laguna beach" night!  woohoo!  i love this show.  seriously.  i do.  i swear.  and the episode was good.  the beginning with lc and stephen and the end with jessica and jason were my favorite parts, but it was all-around good. :)

and then i watched "pimp my ride" while talking on the phone with adam about pop-out doors.  yeah, you wish you had those! ;)  it was a good time!  now, i'm off to try to get some sleep.  of course, i do have to be awake again about 7.5 hours from now, however.  ok, more tomorrow...

sunday 31 july 2005 9:07pm

"i've worried about life and  it gets ripened right on time
but i guess if you don't jump you'll never know if you can fly" -- miranda lambert "new strings"

what's a girl with nothing to do to do?  i asked myself several times today.  after sleeping as long as possible last night, i eventually had to get up.  even with nothing to do and nowhere to be, i still could not justify to myself staying in bed all day long.  so i got up.  and went to the couch. :)

pretty much i just spent today here not doing a whole heck of a lot.  sometimes sundays like that are a total blessing.  today, however, i was just kind of antsy and wanted to get out.  in an effort to just concentrate on doing something, i read a few more sections of my css book.  i'm halfway there, people!  ok, so halfway through the book does not equate to halfway  on my way to a new website, but whatever.  ;)

i spent a huge portion of my afternoon chatting online with sarah.  it was so much fun!  she's entirely too far away (a mere 3,000 miles), so we keep in touch via aim.  it's not ideal, but that's kind of how it goes.  anyway, that was a great way to spend my afternoon.

there was also a pedicure in my afternoon. :)  got to love that!

i got a take away/delivery menu of a local italian place in the mail the other day, so i decided to order myself a nice sunday night dinner.  salad, garlic bread, ravioli, all delivered by a totally cute surfer guy. ;)  it was delicious!

and this evening i talked to the family for awhile and have been working on a few little things on my computer.  it's nothing too crazy, but i've been having a nice time.  plus, i watched "13 going on 30" and "the princess diaries" all evening. :)

i'll be off to bed before long because i have to get up extra early tomorrow so i can try to have my car repaired.  i guess that's one of those adult responsibilities that i'm not that stoked about.  ugh.  oh, well.  wish me luck!

sunday 31 july 2005 12:42am

"but do you ever think of me
down on easy street
if you're out this way some week some year
girl, you'll still find me waitin' here
in this world where the telephone is all i touch
when i'm alone and no one ever really knows
the man inside of me
up here in this lonely room just a-sippin' wine
and a-missin' you girl i've got everything
but what i need
that's why i'm down
down on easy street" -- dierks bentley "down on easy street"

last night when i was pulling into my parking space, i noticed that my water gauge on the dashboard of my car was really high.  that's not good.  so today i popped the hood and did a little investigating.  the coolant tank was totally empty.  this is not good.  i'm kind of surprised i was able to drive all the way to cost mesa and back without any issues last night, actually.  and honestly, i don't know if it's been longer than that that it's been empty.  bad, i know.  so i made an appointment for service at my local volvo dealer (because i'm a couple thousand miles overdue) and then tried to figure out what to do about my own car.  so i slipped on my brand new giant oc glasses (you know, like all the beautiful people are wearing these days) and walked over to the hardware store to pick up come coolant.  and in the same trip over to that shopping center, i picked up my redken shampoo.  so i walked back to the apartment, coolant and salon shampoo in hand.  it was awesome. ;)  anyway, i started pouring the coolant in.  and then i thought i should check to see if it's already leaking back out the bottom.  and it was.  great.  so i can't really drive my car now without engine coolant because that's just not a great idea.  this means that i'm pretty much stranded at home this weekend.  no oc museum of art.  no movie.  no u.s. open of surfing in huntington.

i had the day to myself.  what do i do with a whole unscheduled day?  yeah, i don' t know, either.  i watched a lot of tv.  i took a nap.  i made myself dinner.  i talked to megs because she turned 22.  i talked to sarah and troy online way later than i normally talk to them.  i discovered that "daria" is actually still on tv.  i flipped through my yearbook from my senior year of high school, which made me laugh.  and feel old.  and i watched the same first episode of the second season of "laguna beach" yet again.  i was bored.

hmm... what am i going to do tomorrow?  i must admit that i have a stack of books waiting to be read and a great little deck to do that on as soon as i sweep it.  there are friends i should try to catch up with.  and i may resort to walking to albertsons to do the tiny bit of grocery shopping that i need to take care of.  so now that it's 1am, i suppose i should at least head towards bed.  i'm not tired.  it was that nap after a night of 10 hours of sleep that did me in.  but as my brother would say, you know it's a good day when you're living on the 12-12 split. :)

friday 29 july 2005 10:00pm

"come a little closer, baby
i feel like layin' you down
on a bed of sweet surrender
where we can work it all out
there ain't nothin' that love can't fix
girl, it's right here at our fingertips
so come a little closer, baby
i feel like layin' you down" -- dierks bentley "come a little closer"

when i got up this morning, i knew that i wanted to wear my muzikmafia shirt.  this cut down my getting ready time this morning significantly.  so instead of lazing around like i might normally do, i decided to leave early.  i picked up a donut at my favorite place near work and then went to starbucks for a white mocha! :)  i brought them to work, and since i was the first person there i enjoyed my breakfast while listening to alison krauss and union station in the office.  it was lovely, really! :)  so it was a good morning.

i kept myself busy all day at work, working on a list of various things.  there was enough for me to do.  it was kind of quiet around the office this friday, but that's usually perfectly ok with me.  and melissa took off at lunchtime, so it was even quieter.  so work was good.  plus, i got to leave about an hour early because the whole office was emptying out.  i like friday afternoons like that. :)

after work, i got in the car and headed to south coast plaza.  i had a little bit of shopping to take care of and no other friday night plans, so wandering around there seemed like an excellent idea.  and it was!  i got my shopping done, and i also found other things to buy for myself.  super!  of course, now i'm poorer, but i'll be alright.

and i found a little dinner when i got home, and now i'm going to watch some of my "laguna beach" dvds and then crash.  i'm sleepy!  good night!

friday 29 july 2005 12:21am

"i had an all-american mom and dad
some of the coolest friends i could ever have
found love i though i'd never find
sometimes i can't believe this life is mine
and i'm not plannin' on leavin' yet
but the truth is you just never know
and if this is as good as it gets
man, i think i'm good to go...
yeah, i've been thinkin' 'bout where i'm at
on my not so straight and narrow path
and i wouldn't wanna chance nothing about
this roll with the punches life i've had" -- jason aldean "good to go"

funny how i thought i was going to be in bed by 11 and have a full night's rest.  the night didn't turn out how i had expected.  instead of sleep, i chatted with sarah and megs online.  it was perfect, perhaps even better than sleep.  and yes, i'll probably be more tired than is desirable tomorrow, but that's alright.  i miss my girls.  and a whole host of other people, as well.  so now i will try to get back into a relaxed, peaceful state and go to bed.  or at least lie in bed.  life's crazy.  it'll be interesting to see how it all turns out.

thursday 28 july 2005 9:44pm

"well i'm haunted by a memory
that won't leave or let me go
call me crazy and i may be
but i belive in ghosts...
should i be afraid, should i be scared
you follow me everywhere, i'm hanted" -- jason aldean "i believe in ghosts"

i got up at the proper time this morning. :)  yay!  it's quite the success, i know. ;)  so i got up, took a shower, did all those things i do in the morning.  it was super.  or just average.  whichever.  and then it was off to work.

work is picking up, and i found myself with plenty of things to keep myself busy today.  plus, we got the latest issue of "cots" back from the printer today.  my pages all look great.  no giant mistakes or anything!  super!  honestly, the day sort of flew by.  i was working on the various things here and there, and i also found a few minutes to catch up on some news and surf the internet a little bit.  it was a good time!

at lunch time, i decided to go solo and found myself at z pizza.  it's just down the road a couple blocks and it's a good deal for lunch.  i enjoyed it while reading a magazine.  i think i needed the time in the sunshine.  the office just gets so cold (i have to put on sweatshirts over my cute summer outfits and it really is quite a tragedy).  it was a nice lunch, actually.  quiet.

this afternoon some fun things happened online. :)  first of all, i bought giants tickets for next weekend, so i will actually make it to the ballpark this season.  yeah, the giants are having a bit of a rough year, but it's still a good time going to the park, hanging out, eating lots of food.  so i'm really looking forward to that.  plus, it's a day game, so hopefully it won't be too cold in the stadium.  yay for baseball!  ok.  and then second fun thing is that i learned that keith urban is going to be in the gap's fall advertising campaign, which means print and tv and whatever else they decide to use!  he's going to be all over!  i love it!  also, he has signed on to be the lead in a new movie, apparently a romantic drama, which starts filming later in the year.  yes!  my aussie boyfriend on the big screen!  it's going to be awesome!

after work, i headed home.  after a tiring day yesterday, i decided that a good thing for me to do this afternoon would be to clean the apartment.  but before i got to that i switched on the tv and conveniently fell asleep for about 20 minutes.  so nice!  and then i got up, had a bit of dinner, and started cleaning away.  the apartment needed it, believe me!  but now it's all spic and span!  and i'm just listening to music (and the kids skateboarding outside) and relaxing.  it's actually been a really good night.  soon, i'm off to bed before friday...

wednesday 27 july 2005 11:10pm

"i can't hide what i feel inside
and just stop loving you
even if i wanted to
i can't hold on
but lettin' go
is something i can't do, is something i can't do
even if i wanted to" -- jason aldean "even if i wanted to"

i guess i was pretty out of it when the alarm clock went off this morning because once again i got up with the first alarm instead of the second one, and the second one started to go off just as i was getting out of the shower.  i hate when i do that, but whatever.  too late now.  so i got dressed, grabbed some breakfast, and headed off to work.

work picked up a bit today, though i still lost a couple games of darts.  i'm going to need to get better quickly.  ;)  and i went with the girls (lea, jenna, and melissa) to lunch at wahoos, which is generally quite good. :)  so it was a wednesday.  pretty average.

after work, i headed home, changed really quickly, and headed over to the gym to work out.  i did that.  again, just normal.  nothing spectacular.  and then i came home, got cleaned up, and made myself a delicious cheese sandwich for dinner.  mmm!  the best!

and then i sorted out the laundry to discover that i had an obscene 7 loads of laundry to do!  7!  there are only 4 washers and 4 dryers in each laundry room here.  i figured that tonight would be a good time to try doing laundry at a proper laundromat since i have been less than satisfied with the rooms here and i also find them horrifically expensive.  so i loaded up the car (which was a chore in itself) with all the laundry and headed down to the laundromat.  well, the change machine there only takes $1 bills or $5 bills.  i had a $20.  so i went to the blockbuster across the parking lot to get change, but they made me buy something.  of course, i did get m&ms out of the deal, so i'm alright. :)  and then i did laundry.  lots and lots of laundry.  and it wasn't that great of an experience and they really do close promptly at 9:30, even if not everything i have is dry.  so i probably won't be going back there since it was too much of a pain in the butt, but i had to at least try it to justify doing laundry here at $3 a load.  and now, several hours later, my clothes are at least a little cleaner than when i started (i'm not convinced that those washing machines actually got my clothes clean in their 15-minute cycle), if they're not all dry.

and so i'm exhausted and sweaty and a little bit cranky.  i think i'll head to bed now and shoot for a better thursday. :)  good night!

tuesday 26 july 2005 10:31pm

"if there's still a chance then take my hand
and we'll steal away
off into the night until we make things right
the sun's gonna rise on a better day
come a little closer, baby
i feel like strippin' it down
back to the basics of you and me
and what makes the world go round
every inch of you against my skin
i wanna be stronger than we've ever been
so come a little closer, baby
i feel like strippin' it down
come a little closer, baby
just a little bit closer, baby
come a little closer, baby
i feel like layin' you down" -- dierks bentley "come a little closer"

i caught the rocket launch just the moment i turned on the tv after my shower this morning.  it's cool.  i never fully understood how the columbia shuttle 2 years really effected the nation, so to me this is pretty much like the other rocket launches i've seen on tv.  see, i was in london when columbia failed to make it back to earth.  i saw the news, but i didn't get quite it's impact.  of course, it's a tragedy to lose people like that, but i didn't know the nation went through this whole mourning and also questioning of nasa.  and i never will fully understand what it was like to be stateside when that happened.  it may have been the fact that i was in another country.  or it may have been the fact that at that point i wasn't following the news too closely.  or it may have been a combination.  anyway, my point is that when matt lauer was interviewing someone from nasa this morning and asking if this shuttle launch is the rebranding of nasa it just seems absurd.  but perhaps that is because i never understood how much people were questioning the space program in this country.  anyway, i was in london.  send people to space.

work today was fine.  just work.  nothing spectacular.  marke and i played a few rounds of darts, one during which i won myself a beer and another during which i lost it right back.  and we threw a ball around a bit.  good fun in the office!  also, melissa's boyfriend, chris, just got a new puppy, luna, a white boxer.  he brought her down at lunchtime and marke, melissa, chris, luna, and i went down to beach cities for some food.  and after lunch, everyone sat around playing with luna in the office, which was cool. :)  and no, i'm probably still not an animal person, but yes, animals still like me.  babies, too, though we didn't prove that today.

after work, it was so gorgeous that i couldn't help but changing clothes and heading down to salt creek to work out.  i know it's a good day for that when i roll into salt creek at 6 and it's still 75 degrees out. :)  so i worked out and then took a long walk down the beach, as far as i could walk without having to swim.  it was absolutely gorgeous in dana point!

then i come home and got cleaned up and headed out once again.  the first stop was target for some new (really cheap) jeans and laundry detergent.  then it was off to best buy.  if your name is jason, then you had a pretty good chance with me tonight! ;)  it's new music tuesday and it was a day for the jasons.  i picked up jason aldean's debut album, which i have loved since i first heard it on cmt.com as part of a promotion.  of course, i first decided i loved him when i saw him live at fan fair. :)  and then i picked up the new album from jason mraz.  this purchase was made on blind faith.  i love his first one.  i'll like this one too, right?  we're hoping so!  and since i was at it, i decided to pick up dierks bentley's newest album. :)  i was thinking about it because i heard his newest single, "come a little closer," on the radio today, and i love that song.  so i've been listening to new music all night long, and thus far i've loved everything!  it was an awesome new music tuesday!

now, i'll try to get some sleep.  maybe i wore myself out today enough that i can sleep.  we're giving it a shot.  good night, all!

monday 25 july 2005 9:17pm

"some things never get defined
in your heart or in your mind
it don't make sense what you can do
so i won't try making sense of you
love just is, whatever it may be
love just is, you and me
nothing less and nothing more
i don't know what i love you for, love just is...
don't ever ask me for reasons
why i live for you, i just do" -- hilary duff "love just is"

it's monday.  woot.  ok, so sometimes mondays are a little rough when that alarm clock goes off in the morning, especially when you've been having trouble sleeping.  but life goes on, so i get up anyway.

i headed off to work for what turned out to a fun, if not very productive, day of work.  somehow, there wasn't a whole ton of things for me to do, so i did a bit of research and had some fun with the coworkers.  i lost to marke at darts (this is not ok) and had to make him a pb&j sandwich for lunch.  this isn't a particularly exciting lunch, but whatever.  it was free.  and we may at some point have been playing baseball.  so it was a fun day all around, i'd say.

after work, i headed to trader joe's to pick up the groceries i didn't get yesterday.  fresh squeezed orange juice!  yeah! :)  and then i headed home.  i haven't actually been up to a whole lot tonight.  i put some new pictures up on flickr.  i finished reading "us."  nothing too crazy.  but the main event is just about to start!  tonight's the premiere of the second season of "laguna beach," one of my absolute favorite shows! :)  i've been watching the old episodes on reruns on mtv this evening.  aww, stephen's picking up la at sfo.  :)  this is going to be fun!

sunday 24 july 2005 9:51pm

"i tuck your memory away in my special hiding place
just hoping no one can tell by the look on my face
that you're still in my heart, always on my mind
a part of my every day" -- scotty emerick "i can't take you anywhere"

it's sunday night and i'm so not ready for monday.  i mean, i'm not exhausted and i haven't actually worked that hard this weekend, but somehow i still feel entitled to a second sunday.  i didn't read anything other than an "us" magazine this weekend.  and i watched very little tv.  those are the usual weekend activities.  what happened?  well, the family came down for their first visit.  and it was good! :)

so just as was anticipated, the family rolled into laguna niguel around midnight on friday night/saturday morning.  so they got the air mattress blown up and adam claimed the couch and we all went to bed.  the parents are more morning people than night owls and i'm sure it was a long day for them between all their normal friday activities and the very long drive down here through the wonder that is la traffic.  i love them for doing it, really.

saturday morning i got up around 10 and discovered that the parents had already left.  i wasn't alone, though.  adam was still sleeping on the couch.  but the parents came back after not too long and i got cleaned up and we headed out for a day of family fun... or something like that. ;)  the first stop was capo beach.  it was a less-than-gorgeous day at the beach, but we mostly just walked a ways down it and back and whatever.  i got more wet than i had anticipated, but it was fun!  then we did a little drive around dana point harbor so they could all see that.  i guess they liked it.  and then it was off to the block at orange.  they like it there, so that's cool with me.  i love shopping centers!  haha!  :)  so we had lunch at the alcatraz brewing co. and then walked all around.  and adam bought me the raddest hat at ron jon surf shop for my birthday!  oh, man!  so cool! :)  but we eventually had to head back to my apartment, change, and then head out again.

the plan was to take pch up to newport for dinner at benihana.  you know i love a good meal at benihana for my birthday! :)  so i put on a cute outfit and we all headed out.  the drive through laguna beach was a bit slow.  or very slow.  but i was stoked to be able to sightsee a bit because i'm usually the one doing the driving.  i spotted some places i'm hoping to check out in the near future. :)  so we were late for our reservation, but it was fine.  dinner was wonderful!  i had basically eaten myself sick by the end of the night, but really, that's how it is supposed to go, isn't it?  the food was great, as usual!  and we sat with 2 couples who were together, and one of the couples was from germany.  they were all doing sake bombs.  and one guy was very outgoing and chatty and wanted to know my life story.  his name was korey.  or perhaps it was kory. i'm not sure, but i know it started with a k.  but he was more entertaining than obnoxious or creepy, which i was quite thankful for.  so dinner was great, and then we headed back here where i opened a few presents and we watched my brand new "laguna beach" dvds!  (**reminder: the second season starts tomorrow night at 10**)

and today was another cool day with the family.  we went over to the mall to have lunch at the cheesecake factory (ok, so basically i've been full for the past two days).  and we got to sit outside, and i got to sit in the sun the whole time.  with a strawberry lemonade in hand, i was in heaven right there!  it was so fantastic!  and then the family took me grocery shopping, which is a huge treat!  i picked up all the things i generally would like to buy but won't buy for myself. :)  and then they brought me home and they headed back to san carlos.

once the family was gone, i wasn't quite ready to put away all the stuff they brought down here for me, so i left again.  i put on my bathing suit and headed down to dana point.  i laid out on the beach for awhile, watching the surfers, reading the newest issue of "us," and just relaxing.  it was a nice, though not perfect, day out.  it was great to just lie around for awhile, though.  and you know i think that's the perfect activity for a sunday afternoon.  plus, it was the first time i've really laid out this summer (well, since hawaii in march).  i have a bit of color.

and this evening, i straightened the apartment. lots of new books were added to my collection (hooray for having my cookbooks and art books now!), so i needed to reorganize the bookshelves so they would all fit.  i also got my stereo, so i set that up.  in fact, i'm listening to my miranda lambert cd right now on real speakers.  it's nice. :)  so i guess i should try to get some rest before another week of work.  hope your weekend was nice...

friday 22 july 2005 10:00pm

"i knew after just one dance
i wasn't leaving this up to chance
i'm gonna knock on wood
salt over my shoulder
do anything to keep her love
'cause it feels so good every time i hold her
like i always dreamed it would
i think this could be forever
the two of us together
knock on wood
i've got my rabbit's foot around my neck
that old wishing well's got half my paycheck
got a bag of four-leaf clovers
anything to be her lover
knock on wood" -- aaron lines "knock on wood"

friday!  friday!  friday!  i like fridays! :)  especially when it's the middle of july and the weather is simply perfect! :)  waking up with the sun already shining is very happy!  and that's exactly how it was this morning.  i love it!  i love summer!  so anyway, i got ready and headed off to work to round out another week and them move on to my weekend.  even the drive down to work was nice.  i mean, who can complain about a drive overlooking the ocean, right?

work today was... just work.  of course, i did spend the morning doing a little bit of handiwork. melissa, marke, and i got bulletin boards for our desks today, so we hung those.  i have two side-by-side over one side of my desk.  i had a few postcards with me to hang on them, but they still look pretty bare.  over the next week or so i'll try to gather some more things to hang there.  it should be pretty cool, though.  i like have my favorite things around me.  and then i finally got around to taking the keyboard try off my desk.  i was not using it, and it was just getting in the way, but now it's gone. :)

we got free lunch today.  and it was good.  the bank that just opened on the floor below us was having their big ribbon-cutting ceremony so we went to that and then enjoyed the big catered lunch they had outside.  it was tasty and definitely better than anything i would have found in the kitchen.  and after the party crew was in my way when i was trying to park my car this morning, i deserved to partake in the celebration, right? ;)  and i let the president of the bank try to talk me into opening an account there, so i was nice and polite. :)

this afternoon after work, i just headed home.  it's friday, after all.  as soon as i got home, i found myself a glass of lemonade and curled up on the couch again with my css book.  this time, however, i crashed almost immediately.  that darned couch is just too comfy!  so i had a little afternoon nap.  it was wonderful!

i had a bit of leftover pizza for dinner, and i watched a bit of tv.  it has been a good time.  and now i'm putting a lot of my newer cds onto my ipod.  it's about time, believe me!  and i'm listening to my new favorite radio show (that comes out of so cal): the ten o'clock news.  it's on a san diego country station and they play only the newest music.  i'm listening online, but i think i'll have my stereo back in my possession this weekend, so i'll be able to listen properly.  anyway, it's a quiet friday night, but there's a good reason for that.  the parents and brother are on their way down here right now, and they'll be spending the weekend with me.  it should be fun!

thursday 21 july 2005 10:07pm

"well i've got a thousand reason to smile these days
i've got a thousand great memories that i can't replace
but when there's weight on my shoulders and tears on my face
even years from now i know i'll say
i ain't complaining
about the way things are
not too long ago life was oh so easy now
now when that innocence seems so far
when it seems so far
what i wouldn't do to make the the old days new" -- aaron lines "old days new"

well, i guess that those extra hours of sleep i've been trying to cram in are finally paying off.  either that or it's all the sunshine. :)  either way, i was stoked when i was awakened by a text message from josh this morning and i didn't feel like i had just been run over by a truck.  it was 5 minutes before the first alarm and i was totally fine to just get up at that point.  plus, i haven't actually heard from josh in ages so i was all about texting him back.  so i did just that and then i got into the shower.

i set off to work this morning totally stoked that it was actually sunny out!  even in dana point! :)  oh, my summer weather has finally come!  anyway, work today was good.  i learned how to make reprints of articles for companies that request them.  i made my first one! :)  oh yes, i am so talented. ;)  and we had a fun little adventure at work this afternoon.  the power went out.  i'm still not sure if this was some sort of brown out or black out or what was really going on.  i'm pretty sure that it had to do with the fact that energy consumption in this area is at an all-time high right about now.  i guess it's hot or something.  i don't know.  open a window, people!  enjoy it!  anyhow, the power went out for more than half an hour.  that pretty much means none of us can do any work.  so we took the opportunity to eat all the ice cream out of the freezer because you know it won't stay frozen forever in a blackout.  haha!  at least that's what we told ourselves!  and it was kind of rad and kind of scary to discover that a huge gate closes in front of the elevators when the power's out.  i guess it's so you don't try to get in.  but what about the people inside?!?  anyway, about 20 minutes into the power outage, i was picturing myself on the beach!  of course, i was quite disappointed when the power went back on.  but not so long after that, it went out again for another significant period of time!  it only took a few minutes for me to picture myself on the beach the second time around.  and then it came back on.  suck.  and then a bit later, it went out for the third time, and i was instantly on the beach.  and then it came back on and i had to work the rest of my day.  whatever.  i mean, at least i got the ice cream! :)

this afternoon, i headed straight for the beach after work.  i worked out there today instead of counting the gym here, which clearly i can't count on right now.  it.  was.  perfect. :)  i was driving through dana point and the temperature gauge on my car said it was 85 outside!  my ideal!  and it was 81 when i rolled into salt creek at 5:30.  yeah.  i love it!  so i worked out hard because i was feeling so great.  plus, all the eye candy was out today.  hehe!  and then when i finished, i went back down the stairs one more time, strolled along the beach, and found a place to sit.  i stretched out and then just sat and enjoyed the beautiful day.  it was wonderful!

then i came home, got cleaned up, and took a little walk.  i walked over to the grocery store because i ran out of milk this morning.  so i decided that a quick stroll on a hot summer evening would be perfect.  so i got my milk and walked back home.  and loved every second of it!  then i ordered a pizza for dinner when i got home, and the css book and i curled up together on the couch for some fun reading.  i got through the first five of the twenty-four chapters, so i figure i made some serious progress.  i can now read pretty much anything.  it's a good place to be after one night.

and tomorrow night, the family comes, which means i probably won't be getting around to writing any css.  but maybe.  i'm thinking of first trying to modify someone else's code, so that would be a little quicker.  ok, now i'm just rambling about stuff none of you really care about.  here's the important information: i'll let you know when the design of the site changes.  and you'll likely notice it yourself.

wednesday 20 july 2005 10:11pm

"i'm on the 28th floor looking out through the window
my boots are propped up on my desk
they pay me good money to contribute i know
but i'm medina daydreaming again" -- trent willmon "medina daydreaming"

seriously, that alarm clock is just killing me this week.  i'm not sure if it's the fact that i got my sleep pattern all out of whack last weekend or if it's just that i'm super tired.  it seems like the 8 hours should be enough.  but somehow, i was way out of it when i got up with the alarm this morning.  in fact, i was so out of it that i accidentally got up with the first alarm instead of the second, which means that i totally missed out on 10 extra minutes!  so sad! ;)  but i did get up and get clean and get dressed.  this morning, i even got a few extra minutes to just stop and watch the "best week ever" segment on "the today show," which was fun.  there was a lot of celebrity craziness going on!

work today was a bit slow.  i didn't have a whole lot to do, but that did mean i had time to surf the web looking at all sorts of design stuff and catch up on news.  i also even got to chat with sarah online, which is cool! :)  and marke, melissa, and i went down to beach cities for some lunch, which was so good!  i am totally in a pizza phase right now (or my entire life).

after work, i tried and failed for the third day in a row to go to the gym.  this time, it was just annoying.  ugh.  so i changed back into normal clothes and headed for the bookstore.  i decided that i'm going to try to teach myself css, so i found what seems to be a book at the appropriate level for me.  i'm going to give it a shot!  but not tonight. :)  and of course, i wandered around the bookstore looking at all the other more interesting types of books, but i didn't really find anything that i can't live without... at least for now.  then i went to target to see if i could find anything fabulous there, but i didn't buy anything at all.  it really is remarkable, considering how long i spent just browsing there.  sometimes i go in for one thing that costs five bucks and end up spending fifty.  but obviously not today.  i guess that's a good thing, considering i just spent money at the bookstore.  anyway, it was fun to just look around.

and after a brief chat with the family, i think it's time that i start getting ready for bed.  i'm still working on trying to catch up on a bit of sleep, i guess.  good night!

tuesday 19 july 2005 9:43pm

"when you're driving in your car
when you dance and sing to the radio
when you're walking underneath the stars
anywhere and everywhere you go
when you're dressed up or you're dressed down
when you're talking on the phone
with a million people all around
or when you're all alone
when you're near or you're far
you're in my heart no matter where you are
that's when i love you when i need you
when i care about you
that's when i know without a doubt
that i can't live without you
everyday i find another reason
every season we go through
and every little thing you do
that's when i love you" -- phil vassar "that's when i love you"

i got to bed early last night to make up for the lack of sleep over the weekend.  when the alarm went off this morning, however, it didn't really matter.  i was still exhausted, but i dragged myself out of bed anyway.  i have to go to work.  apparently, i'm supposed to be a grown-up.  whatever. ;)

so i got up this morning and headed off to work.  there were a few things to take care of in the morning, but not so much for the rest of my day.  i didn't really mind the little break, though. :)  things are getting moved around all over the place in the art department.  jenna has moved into the big office, tim's old office.  jan moved into the small office, jenna's old office, and marke moved over to jan's old desk.  it's a little weird, but still cool.  and for lunch, i just needed to get outside the office for a little bit, so i went over to baja fresh for a little lunch.  this afternoon, we had ice cream cakes for july birthdays -- larisa, lea, and me.  it was pretty good!

this afternoon, i headed home.  i changed to go to the gym, but when i walked over there i discovered that it is closed again today.  i was kind of bummed, actually, so i came home and called the office to find out when it's actually reopening.  tomorrow.  i hope so.  so then i really wasn't sure what to do with myself now that my gym plans were ruined.  so mostly, i just sat around and watched a bit of tv.  i had a little dinner and a little dessert.  nothing too spectacular.  but the quiet evening has been nice.  i watched "blow out," so that's fun!

"laguna beach" came out on dvd today.  i don't own it... yet. :)

monday 18 july 2005 7:32pm

"hear 'em singing happy birthday
better think about the wish i make
this year gone by ain't been a piece of cake
every day's a revolution
pull it together and it comes undone
just one more candle and a trip around the sun
i'm just hangin' on while this old world keeps spinnin'
and it's good to know it's out of my control
if there's one thing that i've learned from all this livin'
is that it wouldn't change a thing if i let go
no you never see it comin'
always wind up wondering where it went
only time will tell if it was time well spent
it's another revelation
celebratin' what i should have done
with these souvenirs of my trip around the sun
yes, i'll make a resolution
that i'll never make another one
just enjoy this ride on my trip around the sun" -- jimmy buffett and martina mcbride "trip around the sun"

so it has definitely been awhile since i have updated the journal.  sorry about that.  this girl has been busy. :)  here's my recap of the entire weekend, the last four days.

friday was probably the craziest day.  i went in to work, and of course there were loose ends to tie up with the magazines.  we're trying to get both "rtc" and "cots" out of our hands.  so there was a bit of work to be done, but nothing too extensive.  and it was the creative director, tim's, last day with rtc after 10 years.  he's starting his own publication, which is pretty awesome!  it was sad to see him go, though.  he will definitely be missed around the art department.  now jenna is moving up to his spot.  and after a morning of work, it was time for a break.  the art department badly needed it after several crazy days.

we had an rtc group outing to the movies friday afternoon to see "charlie and the chocolate factory!"  it was so wonderful, and i enjoyed every second of it.  now i'm looking forward to going to see it in imax!  it'll be spectacular!  and after the movie, we all enjoyed dinner at fred's mexican cafe.  the food was decent, even if the waiter/cooks messed up nearly half the orders.  and it was so much fun just hanging out with everyone.  they're rambunctious.  i like that!  oh, and we saw "er"'s dr. romano.  and he was parading around, so he deserved it when melissa's boyfriend, chris, ran up and took a photo of him.  haha!  did the greek statue deserve the pictures taken of her?  probably not.

after leaving fred's, i headed straight for westwood to pick up katherine from her dorm at ucla.  and thankfully, the drive wasn't too bad.  so i got kath, and we went to westwood for diddy riese!  mmm!  it had been entirely too long since the last time i was there!  and we walked around for a few minutes before jumping back in the car and heading back to my apartment.  the drive back was a little longer, but at least i had kath's company.  it's good to have your friend in the car when you're sitting in traffic. :)  and it was late by the time we got back here, so we crashed.

saturday we slept in kind of late (well, late to me but not so much to katherine).  :)  and then we got cleaned up and dressed and headed for the shops at mission viejo.  kath needed some new jeans, and i love to shop, so it seemed like it would be a good way to spend the afternoon.  we had an enjoyable lunch at ruby's and then shopped.  i found new jeans. :)  and so did kath.  and i also found a lovely new yellow sundress at the gap for $9.97.  rawk!

then we headed to trader joe's and the grocery store to get groceries for me and groceries for the big dinner i was about to prepare.  there were a bunch of things to get and we had to do it as quickly as possible, but we did! :)  then we headed back to my place and started the cooking.  katherine and i spent all evening preparing a big dinner.  the preparation went faster than usual because i had a helper.  and it was way fun!

marke and his girlfriend, katrina, joined us for a nice dinner.  we had salad, breadsticks, parmesan mashed potatoes, and chicken kiev with bacon.  mmm!  i ate way too much, and i am pretty sure that everyone else did, also.  it turned out wonderfully!  and of course, we had birthday cake for dessert.  it was a really nice meal.  plus, i got to break in the new table linens, if only the napkins this time.

after dinner, the four of us went over to saddleback lanes for some bowling.  i like bowling on my birthday, so it seemed like a wonderful idea.  and actually, it was a lot of fun. :)  i bowled alright.  141, 125, 99 (i didn't get to bowl the last half of the last frame so i could have made it 110), and 114.  not the best night ever, but something else did happen.  katherine, who i will just say isn't much of a bowler (sorry, kath!) bowled a 220 in the third game.  it was insane!  we were laughing at how absurd it was so hard that our stomachs hurt.  it was awesome!  and we were out late just bowling, and it was cool.

sunday, we slept in later than saturday even! :)  and then we got dressed and again headed out.  it was so gorgeous outside!  hot!  i love it!  perfect for my birthday! :)  we went up to the irvine spectrum.  i'd never been there before, but it seemed like a place i would enjoy.  and i did like it!  we had lunch at california pizza kitchen, and i ate my entire roasted garlic chicken pizza. :)  it was my birthday!  i could do things like that!  and of course, i probably still smell like garlic, but it was totally worth it!

then we went to see "the wedding crashers."  it was very funny, and it was exactly what i wanted it to be: a girl movie in disguise.  so it was funny and cutesy!  perfect!  haha!  and we did a bit more shopping here.  i found a really cool hoodie at urban outfitters and a rad "stoked" tank top at quiksilver.  :)  happy birthday to me!

then i brought katherine back to ucla.  sad to see her go, but i'll see her again in a few weeks.  and the drive on a sunday wasn't too bad.  actually i talked to sarah the entire way back to my apartment, so that made the time fly right by.  and i crashed when i got home, exhausted from a busy, fun birthday weekend.

so monday came too quickly and my eyelids were heavy all day.  but work wasn't too busy, so that was good.  and i won string cheese from marke playing darts.  awesome!

after work i came home to discover i had not one but two packages waiting for me!!!  yay! :)  thanks to sarah and elizabeth for those surprises.  and then i tried to go to the gym but discovered it was closed today for some reason.  this days just kept getting better and better! ;)  haha!  so i came home, made myself lasagna for dinner, and am now watching the giants game.  it's a good way to spend a monday night, i do think. :)

sunday 17 july 2005 1:39am

"i think i'll take a moment, celebrate my age" -- tim mcgraw "my next thirty years"

the birthday weekend of fun has been nice. :)  and a bit too busy to allow me to update at my usual pace.  i just want to say that things are good, even if i am an old 22 now.  i'll write all about it soon.  promise.

friday 15 july 2005 12:19am

"come eight o'clock i'm on the run
i can't believe i get anything done
'cause when i'm leavin'
it's the rearview mirror that helps me hold onto you
i start thinking about you, baby
that's all i really want to do
all day i'm dreamin' dreams about holding you" -- sons of the desert "goodbye to hello"

it's late, i'm tired, and my nails are wet, so this might turn out shorter than anyone would like.  i guess that's kind of how it goes when life gets crazy, as it clearly has the past few days.  but it's good. :) 

yesterday was a busy day at work trying to get lots of magazine pages done.  and i had to stop on my way in for a donut for marke.  i hate losing to that kid! ;)  the kitchen finally got some groceries, so we ate in.

last night, i drove down to san diego after work.  i actually hadn't been in many years, so that was pretty cool.  dad is down there for a conference, so i picked him up and we went out.  we ate dinner at the hard rock, so i can add another to the list of cities where i've eaten at the hard rock.  kind of silly, but it's fun.  and then we wandered around the shopping center that's right there in downtown.  i can't remember the name of it at this exact moment.  we looked in various shops, and we also sorted through the used cd racks at sam goody! :)  so fun!  dad found a bunch, and i also got trent willmon and the newest joe nichols.  sweet. :)  i listened to the trent willmon today and i love it!  anyway, it was so good to see dad!  it felt like it had been forever, and if i hadn't made the trip down there i would have had to wait another week and a half.

today was another crazy day at work.  i was there until after 6 just working away.  we were all there.  we had to get "cots" out today, and there were lots of problems to sort through in order for that to happen.  but i think we did it and all is well.  what'll i do in the morning now?  i'm sure i'll find something.  or something will find me!

and after work, melissa, jenna, and i went to the stairs to work out.  it wasn't an amazing day in dana point, but it was still nice.  better than the gym.  and then i came home and worked through my list of things to do.  laundry got done.  the apartment is spotless.  i got a manicure and pedicure.  all that's left is deciding the menu for dinner on saturday night.  but i think i have an idea now.  so all is well, even if it is nearly 1am and i'm not in bed yet.  i'll get there when these nails are dry. :)  yes, i'm such a girl sometimes.

tuesday 12 july 2005 10:18pm

"you should have seen
that sunrise with your own eyes
it brought me back to life
you'll be with me next time i go outside
just no more 3x5s" -- john mayer "3x5s"

alright, so i lost at darts again.  what's the deal?  this cannot go on.

after 5.5 hours of sleep, that stupid alarm went off again.  i'd hate that thing if it didn't play those same few piano notes every single morning before i shut it off.  i love that.  i'm weird.  we already knew that.  anyway, i heard the notes, and i got out of bed.  i put on my new anthropologie skirt today.  it's a big deal because i got it 75% off!  it's like such a success story! ;)  geez, i'm such a girl sometimes.  then it was off to work, stopping for a bagel and juice on the way.

work has been busy, busy, busy with two magazines in the works and media kits stilll left to print.  busy!  and of course, there are all the normal distractions, like everyone else in the office and the dart board and the music and the ichat.  :)  it's fun.  i really do enjoy my days. :)

we went out to lunch for larisa's birthday.  it was kind of crazy, but whatever.  i ate.  it was tasty.

this evening, i got home and headed straight for the gym.  in general, i don't consider the gym relaxing.  it's noisy and there are other people working hard and the tv's going.  today, however, i was in there alone pretty much the whole time, so i turned the volume on the tv all the way down and started a new book, a chick lit novel called "the summer of us."  it's fun.  :)  that's really all i want out of it.  it's july.  i probably won't be reading anything particularly serious.  so anyway, it was a good day at the gym with my new book.

of course, i had intended to have a quiet evening so that i could finish the last 20 pages of the previous book (i knew 20 wouldn't be enough to sustain me at the gym).  however, i somehow never got that quiet time to read.  i wasn't working too hard or anything, though, not to worry. :)  i talked to kath on the phone for awhile.  we're going to hang out this weekend.  i'll retrieve her from westwood on friday, and she has already promised me diddy riese!  oooh riiight!  doesn't get much better than that.  and after a lasagna dinner, i talked to sarah online for a bit as we signed ourselves up for our favorite catalogues, as we both have new addresses.  and then it was time for the new episode of "blow out."  loved it!  man, i never expected to get hooked.  and then i talked to the family for a long time.  hopefully, they'll be down to visit next weekend.

sean rooney and the pepperdine men's volleyball team (national champions, thankyouverymuch) presented president bush with surfboard one today.  rawk!

so stuff's good.  i'm kind of tired and still probably an hour from actual sleep, so i'm off.  good night.

p.s. birthday countdown: 5 days.  i'm old.

tuesday 12 july 2005 12:15am

"i'm gonna do it, darlin'
i could waste time trying to figure it out
but i'm jumpin' anyhow
i've never been this far
didn't know love could run so deep
didn't know i'd lose this much sleep
holdin' you close, chasin' that moon
spendin' all night
lovin' just who you are
sparks fly in the dark
shootin' out lights, huntin' down dreams
figuring out what love really means
baby, giving you my heart
is a real fine place to start
something is going on
i can't explain but sure can touch
it's callin' both of us
stronger than any fear or doubt
it's changing everything i see
it's changing you, it's changing me...
right here, right now's the perfect spot, the perfect time
the perfect moment when your skin is next to mine" -- sara evans "a real fine place to start"

i was so convinced that i needed a second sunday when that alarm clock went off this morning.  there was no way i was meant to get up and head off to work already.  but i did it anyway, completely 100% forgetting to eat breakfast.  oops.  suck.

work was busy.  that's just kind of how it has been lately.  there are 2 magazines to be working on, and when i have to re-lay-out the pages that i did last week because someone made a big mistake when submitting their materials.  and it wasn't like a normal page, but products pages, which are more complicated and i was fussing over them a long time.  whatever.  it was a lot quicker the second time around, anyway.  and it was jan's first day back after being gone for a week because he just had a baby.  that meant there was lots and lots of baby talk, a bigger distraction than i normally have.  but anyway, work's actually good.  i love having all this stuff to do.

and the art department had lunch out together at this random little place, mr. pete's, or something like that.  i guess it's a burger place.  i don't know.  i had chicken.  because that's how i am. :)  and a huge mound of french fries, which i continued to eat long after i was full because they were just on my tray.  i hate it when i do that!  but it was all fried and tasty, so i guess lunch was good in that completely un-healthy way. :)

after work, i headed towards home.  my intention was to stop at the stairs at salt creek and work out but it was foggy in dana point, so i headed home.  of course, just like always, it cleared up exactly at the dana point-laguna niguel border.  so it was gorgeous when i got home.  but i went to the gym and worked out for a bit there.  i'm making quick work of this girly book i started on saturday.  it's like the crappy tv i watch in book form.  it's awesome! :)  and after i got cleaned up and had a bit of dinner, i read some more and watched "sex and the city," like i do. :)

and tonight, i went bowling.  i guess it's dollar game night at the local place, and marke invited me to go with him and his friends.  i'm always up for bowling!  so i met them there and we eventually got a lane and played.  i bowled a crappy 96 (when was the last time i failed to break 100?!?) and lost to marke after he bowled his only two strikes of the game in the last frame.  there will for sure be a rematch, have no doubt!  and he has already challenged me to darts in the morning for donuts.  this is serious competition, people!  but anyway, it was a good time!  however, make no mistake.  this was not as good as thursday night dollar night at the alley in woodland hills.  we had to wait for a lane.  and the lights were on most of the time.  and the music wasn't loud enough.  and no one was drunk enough to dance bowl.  and no one flipped me off when i got a 9.  and there were no X-X-X xzibit gestures for a strike.  oh, pepperdine people, how i miss you.  oh, and the bartender was way, way, way too nice!  she didn't argue with anyone over their id!  what's up with that? ;)  but it was a good time!  :)

and now, i'm up past my old lady bedtime.  rawk!

sunday 10 july 2005 10:11pm

"i've been a rock and i've got my fences
i never let them down
when it comes to love i keep my senses
i don't get kicked around
i shivered once, you broke into my soul
the damage is done now, i'm outta control
how did you get to me?
no one else on earth could ever hurt me
break my heart the way you do
no one else on earth was ever worth it
no one could love me like
no one could love me like you
you can make me want you any time you want to
you're burning me alive
i can't deny you even when i catch you
weaving a weak alibi
'cause when the night falls you make me forget
your love is killing me and it's ain't over yet
how did you get to me?" -- wynonna "no one else on earth"

kind of long lyrics tonight.  hmm.  consider it me making up for not writing last night.  i heard this song when i was cruising around town today, and i was singing along and thinking along and these just seemed like the right words to put here tonight.  and not to worry, people!  i'll catch you up on the whole exciting (or not-so-exciting) weekend now.

yesterday.  saturday.  it's hard to remember back that far for some reason.  it might be because i didn't do anything momentous.  but i'd still say it was a good saturday, in all.  first of all, i slept in late, because i love to do that i could do that, so that was just nice.  and really, i just lazed around here for the afternoon.  i put on vh1 country (yay for no commercials! and it's just straight music videos!), opened all the windows and sliding doors to let some fresh summer air into the apartment, and curled up on the couch with a book, the first half of which i read.

in the afternoon, i decided that i wanted to try to use that dsw gift certificate that i have, so i drove up to my closest dsw in search of some new shoes.  it's in orange.  it's not nearly as big as the massively huge one in woodland hills, i am sad to report.  and really, i didn't find anything worth taking home with me.  and since that was a pretty big shoe disappointment, i decided that this would be a good time to also discover my closest nordstrom rack.  they might have shoes for me, right?  incorrect.  i looked, but i found no shoes there, either, or anything else i wanted to buy, for that matter.  i almost bought designer (read: crazy expensive even on sale) jeans, but i decided it probably wouldn't be the best decision of my life.  so i moved on.  i discovered there were other interesting stores near this nordstrom rack (in costa mesa).  i checked out the container store and old navy, but didn't find anything really.  i was trying really hard to spend my money, but failing.  not sure what happened.  last weekend i wasn't even trying and the money was just flying out of my pocket.  this weekend, i had no such luck.  oh, well.  so i headed back towards home, stopping to rent "vanity fair" and pick up wendy's for dinner.

when i got home, i enjoyed my dinner and talked to dad on the phone for a few minutes.  he was back in san carlos after a week in indiana.  and then i decided that i would watch "risky business" since we had recently discussed it at work and it had been forever since i'd seen it.  well, the combination of my sleepiness and the comfortable couch resulted in me crashing out about halfway through the movie.  and as the movie ended, i woke up just long enough to turn everything off and crawl into my proper bed.  that's why i never posted last night. :)  because i party hardy!

this morning i got up early enough that i could get ready and head out to be on time for 11am mass, which really isn't all that early at all. :)  that's how i like it.  so i headed to dana point to check out the catholic church, st. edward the confessor.  i wasn't sure what i was in for, except that i assumed it was a pretty big parish because they have 5 sunday masses and 2 on each of the other days of the week.  i got there just a couple minutes before 11 and it was pretty full, and the mass ended up being sort of standing-room-only.  i mean, the benches weren't crammed full but there were people standing.  anyway, it's a big chuch with two levels of seating.  the back wall, where the alter is, is all glass, overlooking the ocean.  no, it doesn't really get more beautiful.  and i'm betting that those 5:30pm masses in winter when the sun sets early are absolutely beautiful.  anyway, the mass was pretty good.  the music was something to get used to, not at all like our lady of malibu or brompton oratory, but i get kind of close to st. charles back in the day when i was at school there.  but i think i'll check out some of the other masses on sundays, to see if they're any different.  but it was good. :)  i think i really needed that quiet time.  i mean, i get the quiet time around the apartment, but it's different.

anyway, then i came home and hung out for a bit.  i broke out the scrapbooking materials and started working on more of that hawaii scrapbook i started months ago.  and i discovered a marathon of "blow out" that was just starting, so i put that on.  i was curious about the show since i've heard about it from people at work but never actually seen it.  well, no one warned me that i was absolutely going to become addicted! :)  haha!  so i watched the entire 5-hour marathon, and i'll caught up to speed on the show.  now i can tune in on tuesday nights and totally know what's going on.  oh, man, this could be bad.  but while i was watching, i also finished my hawaii scrapbook!  yay!!!  now, i just need to go back there, take more pictures, sunbathe a bit, and whatever.  dad and i talked about it last night, and we're so ready to head to hawaii right now.  we won't even bother packing.  we'll just get on a plane and go.  mmm... sounds amazing!

so this evening, after my jonathan marathon, i decided to  head out.  i went to target, but of course the things that i wanted that went on sale today (laundry detergent, other random household things) are already sold out and it just never seems worth the effort to get a raincheck.  lame.  but i did get a couple beach towels that were on sale so that i have those for guests now!  and they're rad! ;)

then i headed to the movie theatre to see "mad hot ballroom," a documentary about kids in new york city schools who take ballroom lessons as part of their education.  it was really funny and really fun, and i felt like dancing out of the theatre!  of course, i restrained myself. :)  but anyway, i thought it was very cool, especially for a documentary.  i'll never understand naming schools p.s. 115, though.  and of course, now i think all kids should have to learn ballroom because it helped these kids.  oh, i'm so easily swayed sometimes. :)

tonight, i talked to family for awhile.  they're all back in cali now, after being in indiana and kentucky.  no on has told be they brought me presents, though.  that's no good.  ;)  seems like they're all well!  and i'm glad they made it back safely.  and now that i've written more than i ever thought possible about my weekend, i'm off to bed.  i will need some rest before another week of work.  good night.

friday 8 july 2005 11:14pm

"to be with you
i would risk a thousand lifetimes
to be with you
there's no mountain that i wouldn't climb
if you're the sky
let me be the cloud that runs right through you now
you don't know just how i need to
be with you, there can be so substitute
to be with you
i've tried to hide my passion, but it's
just no use
piece by piece i lose it when you
walk in the room
how can i get through
if i can't be with you
every time i close my eyes i see your face
i taste you on my lips
every night i fantasize
that i can feel you on my fingertips...
i come unglued if i can't be with you" -- jamie o'neal "to be with you"

i learned lots of important things at work today.  i learned how to fill the toner in the color printer.  i learned that toronto is in ontario and montreal is in quebec.  ok, well those are the things i can think of right now.

work today was busy, especially for a friday.  i had to wrap up my "rtc" pages.  i installed cs2 on my computer (finally!).  i printed hundreds of media kits.  and i only caused 3 paper jams.  it was cool.  at least i can play lots of darts while printing.

i had a greek lunch with marke and his girl, katrina.  mmm!  good!  of course, it reminded my of my favorite meal in greece, which was followed by the best gelato of my life.  and apparently, no one knows where to get good gelato around here, which means i'm still totally craving it!  marke didn't even know what gelato is.  he doesn't even know what he's missing.

after work, i came home and crashed out on the couch.  that wasn't necessarily my intention, but i'm perfectly ok with it. :)  are there many things greater than a nap on a friday afternoon?  i don't think so.  and when i woke up, i made myself some dinner.  and pretty much, i've just been hanging out here, watching a bit of tv, working on organizing my photos on flickr a bit better, and reading.  crazy life, no? ;)

and now i'm sleepy, but jay's just about to start and i'm totally staying up for conan tonight since i can.  and i'm talking to friends online.  as long as i'm sitting upright, i'll stay awake, right?  riiight...

thursday 7 july 2005 10:41pm

"i don't know if it's worth it
and i don't know if i'm good enough
all i know is i'm giving it all i've got
and i'll know when i get there
from town to town and job to job
living in cars in parking lots
a good hot meal and a place to sleep
are things you miss when you're chasing dreams
it's hard to tell just where you're at
when you're looking for something that ain't on a map
i just gotta believe it's down that road somewhere
and i'll know when i get there
i'll know when i get there" -- keith anderson "i'll know when i get there"

it was thoroughly jarring to me this morning when i switched on the television to the headline "london terror bombings."  it literally stopped me in my tracks.  and this was supposed to be a busy morning with lots of things to take care of before leaving for work.  well, the things that i was meant to do but weren't critical didn't happen.  i spent all the moments i could spare watching the tv.  and now many hours later i still don't feel like i can completely explain why i feel so affected by this event.  basically, it's a place i consider a home to me, and i have always felt so safe there.  i'm sure that i still will the next time i'm there, but it was still frightening.  and my trip in 2012 is still on.  and i want to go sooner, as well.

so i went to work this morning.  and i stopped for marke and melissa's (and mine, too) donuts on the way.  they were happy, and i must say that a donut in the morning can make things a little bit better.

work today was insane.  it's hard to come into somewhere new and try to figure out someone else's organization of documents, especially when it wasn't done by just one person and it's a big old mess.  by the end of the day, i made 13 media kits.  in case you don't know, that's a lot of media kits.  but now they're all properly organized and in one place, so that any future printings or changes will be easy. :)  so it was a lot of hard work and some serious thinking, but i am done with all but some of the printing now. :)  woohoo!

for lunch today, we had a putluck in honor of tim, who will be leaving the rtc group next friday.  i brought my cookies, which were a hit, and i also enjoyed other people's contributions.  and jan even managed (despite having a 4-day-old baby) to put together a dvd slideshow that we surprised tim with.  it was a good time!

after work, i headed home.  i spent my evening talking to a few people on the phone, as well as uploading lots and lots of photos onto flickr.  it's an easy place for other people to go through the countless pictures i tend to put online.  anyway, that'll probably become a bit more integrated into the pics section of the website.  so i've been just sitting at the computer all day.  somehow, i don't really mind all that much. :)

i'm tired now, though, and i think my eyes are sick of staring at screens.  i'm off to bed.

wednesday 6 july 2005 10:18pm

"one kiss and i knew for certain
love so absolutely perfect
can't be anything but meant to be
just there's no other way to explain you with me
the sun goes down and the moon comes up
the tide rolls in the stars appear above
and you and i fell so in love
there are no accidents...
i used to talk about coincidence
and how true love is only found by chance
now i look at you and i'm convinced
there are no accidents" -- erika jo "there are no accidents"

it feels like a lot happened today.  i'm just not sure i can make it feel that way here.  here's how today went, whether or not i'm able to convey how today really felt properly.

work was busy, but mostly with good stuff.  i had more figures and pages of "rtc" to work on today, and i actually got those pretty much wrapped up, which provides a nice feeling of accomplishment.  of course, i'm sure tomorrow it'll be on to the next thing, the next magazine, the next project.  i got the country music going in the office for the second day in a row -- both times at marke's request.  i just might have converted this indie kid into a closet country music fan.  haha!  the words "i like this song" came out of his mouth in regards to diamond rio's "beautiful mess."  that's not a song that is appealing to most people outside of the country music fan base.  but whether or not he has been converted, i got to listen to my music, which is so so so so nice for me.  i love that!  of course, it'll all end next week when jan's back in the office, but i'll take all that i can get in these 4 days he's out. :)

this morning, marke and i played darts.  the bet was that the loser would have to make the winner a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch in the kitchen.  (yes, the kitchen was just that empty today.)  we got 7 darts and whoever hit the most prime numbers won.  i lost.  bad.  but i'm perfectly capable of making pb&j, so i did that.  and this afternoon, marke lost to melissa for 2 breakfast donuts tomorrow morning.  and in his attempt to pass off his debt, he played me for the same.  and i lost.  again.  i don't know what's going on!  i always beat marke!  and we played whoever hit the most numbers divisible by 3 this time around.  so anyway, now i owe melissa donuts in the morning.  oh, well.  at least i'll get to pick one up for myself while i'm there! :)

after work today, i came home, but only for a minute.  i needed to make a quick trip to the grocery to pick up some ingredients.  i spent my evening baking peanut butter chocolate chip cookies for a putluck lunch tomorrow at work as a sort of farewell gathering for tim.  the cookies are excellent, if i do say so myself. :)  new recipe!

and i also watched the season finale of "beauty and the geek!"  it may be favorite episode!  it was so much fun, and i like that it's good-natured in the way that they have to teach each other stuff and everyone left feeling good about themselves.  oh, man.  i love bad tv. :)  and next week, there's going to be a special on where they bring all the contestants together to discuss "what really happened in the mansion" or something like that.  it's going to be excellent! :)

and now, as it approaches 11, i suppose i should head towards bed.  somehow, it always takes me forever to get to the part of the night where i actually sleep.  there are so many distractions...  good night!

tuesday 5 july 2005 10:11pm

"say exactly how you feel
right now you're free to say it all
there is no one here to judge you
i only love you
you're free to close your eyes and fall
you can trust me, this is real
say exactly how you feel
tell me all your dreams
and what you think love means
we'll lock the world outside
embrace the gift of time
promising forever
knowing that this moment
might be all we ever find
every breath of who you are
tells a story that i love
i have finally found the truth
in what i see in you
and what i feel with every touch
the simple beauty of your heart
in every breath of who you are" -- tim mcgraw "all we ever find"

today was fun, but also quite productive, and productive in more than just that i got several pages of "rtc" done.  it was a day that brought me another step closer to feeling like this is my place.  it was strangely comfortable.

i was so far from ready when that alarm clock went off this morning.  i swear, some mornings it's just more startling than others.  not sure how that works, but i think it's really true.  but no matter what, i got out of the comfort of my bed and got cleaned up, dressed, pretty, and fed. :)  then it was off to work.

work was busy today.  i had photos to fix and clip and a several pages of magazine to create.  of course, there was way more copy than what will actually fit on those pages, but i guess that's how it goes.  that's why i have to whip out that magic and just make it fit. :)  so i did.  and in the process of it all, i had a crazy good conversation with marke and melissa.  they for sure know me a lot better, even if they might also think a lot less of me now.  hey, it's me and my life.  what can i say? :)  anyway, it was a lot of fun!

jan wasn't in today.  he and his wife, tey, had their first baby on sunday night!  lucas edward garcia!  so cool! :)

lunch today was beach cities pizza with marke and melissa.  mmm!  marke's girl, katrina, works there and was working when we went in, so that was cool, too.  plus, you can't really beat a whole lunch for less than $4.  and it's nice to get out of the office.  and seriously, it doesn't get a lot better than dana point harbor for lunch out.

this evening, it was just so nice outside that i dashed home, changed, and went down to salt creek to the do stairs.  and because it was so nice out and i was feeling so good, i pushed myself harder than usual.  felt great!  then i got cleaned up and did lots and lots of laundry.  oh, and i made myself corn(!) and a cheese sandwich for dinner.  so good!

and now, everything's clean and put away and great. :)  i'll head for bed now and hope for an equally good wednesday...

monday 4 july 2005 10:30pm

"alone with the morning burning red in the canvas in my head
painting a picture of you
and me driving across country in a dusty old rv
just the road and its majesty
and i'm looking at you with the world in the rear view mirror
you were pretty as can be sitting in the front seat
looking at me telling me you love and you're happy to be
with me on the fourth of july
we sang stranglehold to the stereo
couldn't take no more of that rock n roll
so we put on a little george jones and just sang along" -- shooter jennings "4th of july"

happy fourth!  this year was different than last year and different than all the previous years, but it still had its highlights.  so here it goes...  here's how it went...

last night, around 2am, i fell asleep to the sound of my television (as always) and the sounds of a very loud party in the next building.  then, all of a sudden, i woke up and it was light outside and it was already after 10am.  i guess i was tired. :)  so i got up, though i'm not really sure why.  basically, i spent the whole day just hanging around the apartment.  i cleaned up a ton, which i really needed to do.  there was laundry (clean and dirty and all mixed together) everywhere, shoes all over the place, the suitcase from last weekend that i still hadn't unpacked, and a dishes from last night's cooking that needed to be washed.  so i took care of everything, and the apartment is in much better shape now. :)  so pretty much, the daytime was uneventful.

tonight, i drove down the road to dana hills high school, where i parked my car and rode the school bus down to dana point harbor.  i really don't know my way around the harbor at all, so i just sort of followed everyone else and walked around a little bit.  then i decided that that actual harbor itself wasn't the perfect place to watch the fireworks, so i made my way to the beach that's right next to the harbor.  i found myself a little piece of the sand and sat down.  i brought a magazine with me to keep myself entertained until it got too dark to read.  by that point the beach was packed -- more packed than i have ever seen any beach before -- and people were lighting their illicit fireworks, so that kept me entertained.  the dana point crowd has the money to burn on fireworks, so they were serious ones!  anyway, the fireworks started at 9.  this was my first fourth of july watching fireworks alone, and this was my first fourth of july watching fireworks on the beach, toes in the sand.  i definitely think it doesn't get better than the beach for fireworks. :)  next time, perhaps i'll be on one of those boats out on the water, a bit closer to the barge where the fireworks are set off.  either way, i am a fan of the dana point fireworks. :)  and right in the middle of the show, katie rang me.  luckily, i decided to answer!  it was a very special fourth of july for her, and i'm so happy for her!  i guess it was a bit more of a magical fourth of july than i had anticipated, even if it wasn't really for my life.  anyway, after the fireworks ended, i took the schoolbus back to dana hills high school and drove myself home.

now, i'm watching the fireworks from boston on tv (on tape delay, obviously).  the muzikmafia crew (big & rich, gretchen wilson, and cowboy troy) did a special song.  plus, the fireworks are set to music, including my boyfriend keith urban's song "days go by!"  yeah!  and i'm off to bed soon, ready for a short week at work.

oh, and sorry for the repeat (sort of) lyrics, but they just seemed too appropriate for the day and i love the song so much that i had to use them. :)

monday 4 july 2005 12:25am

"and nobody's ever wanted nobody
the way i want you
and there's somethin' 'bout every little thing about you
there's nothin' i wouldn't do
wanna stand for you, fall for you, live for you, die for you
don't want you out from under my skin
'cause that's the kinda love i'm in
that's the kinda love i'm in
i can't turn it off
why would i if i could
man, i love the thought
of you on my mind for good
and bearin' my soul with the truth like this
might be steppin' out there too far on a limb
but that's the kinda love i'm in" -- jace everett "that's the kind of love i'm in"

um, happy fourth of july, i guess.  (yeah, less than convincing, i know).  i'm not exactly sure yet what my plans are for the day, but i'm certain they'll be solo plans, and that's less than exciting.  last year was better, but i guess i can't go back to then and can only have hope for the future.  but anyway, i love fireworks, so those will somehow be involved in my plans.

today was a cool day.  and a long one.  i got up at 6 to watch my man andy roddick play in the finals at wimbledon.  he lost, but it was still worth getting up to watch him play.  i think he's rad!  and he had this to say in the post-game press conference: "but i was out there, i was competing, i was playing, i was giving it my all. that's a good day for me. i mean, you have to put it in perspective, as well. i lose this tennis match, i go on, i still live an amazing life and I have a great time. i can't sit around and pout about too much."  because he's just that cool. :)  there are funny quotes from the press conference, too, but you can find those on your own if you're interested.  (or ask me.)  and then i feel back asleep for a little bit.

i eventually got up and made myself meal #1.  i watched a bit of tv and hung around not doing a whole lot before getting myself cleaned up.

i decided to go up to newport to fashion island to walk around and maybe shop a little bit.  a warm sunday afternoon seemed like the perfect time to do this.  apparently, lots and lots of other people had the same idea, but i didn't mind the crowded shopping center so much.  it was actually quite and enjoyable trip. :)  i found myself getting into a little bit of trouble at anthropologie because they were having a big sale. :)  it was nice.

and this evening, i made myself lasagna for one (and corn, of course), and watched "dirty dancing" on tv.  it's been relaxing, but i like it like that.  tomorrow... fireworks... somewhere... somehow...

saturday 2 july 2005 10:41pm

"i wanna spend every moment here with you
you've shown me a place i've seen but never knew
so here i am, here i am, here i am, here i am
just for you you, just for you
in the dark
moving hands to find my way
reaching for a chance
and the words to say
and here i go
letting go
just to never let you go
i'm so scared to feel so safe
i wanna spend every moment here with you
you've shown me a place i've seen but never knew
so here i am, here i am, here i am, here i am
just for you
i've been so quiet for so long
waiting for the chance to find me
now i'm finding out
that things have never been so real
never felt the way they should be
now they've found me
i wanna spend every moment here with you
you've shown me a place i've seen but never knew" -- brandi carlile "closer to you"

last night i fell asleep with the tv on.  well, most nights i fall asleep with the tv on, but i usually remember to put it on the sleep timer so that it eventually turns off.  last night, i forgot that important step.  and lucky for me! :)  i awoke this morning at 6am to discover that (1) my tv was still on and (2) that andy roddick was on it playing tennis at wimbledon -- the match that didn't end yesterday due to rain.  so i watched him play the rest of that match and win, and then i went back to sleep.  it was like the reverse of a nap.  my sleep had a little break right in the middle of it. :) it was awesome!

and today i haven't really been up to a whole lot, and that was pretty much the plan all along.  i wanted to take the day to sort out things around the apartment.  i put up fan fair photos on the website, and also updated the music and movies sections.  i watched several episodes of "sex and the city" after discovering that my digital cable and subscription to hbo give me free access to hbo on demand, which meant i have a list of 8 or 10 episodes that i can watch at my leisure.  they're the last ones. some of my absolute favorites!  i watched smith shave his head.  that might be my favorite "sex and the city" moment ever. :)

this afternoon, i got cleaned up and headed out for a couple errands.  i got new picture frames at aaron brothers, and then i stopped at trader joe's for some groceries and the grocery store for some more groceries.  the cupboards were bare, so i needed to stock up a bit.  i have enough food to last me for quite some time now. :)  i still need to decide what i'm bringing to my putluck at work on thursday and that'll probably send me back to the store in the next couple days.

dinner was good tonight.  i discovered that they sell refrigerated chicago-style pizzas at the grocery, so i had 1/4 of one.  and i had corn.  have i mentioned before that one of my absolute favorite things about summer is the corn?  mmm!  i bought 10 ears today!  that should last me the week.

and this evening, i worked on a little project.  and i listened to my cds instead of watching tv.  it was wonderful. :)

now, i'm off to bed kind of early tonight.  andy roddick's playing for the wimbledon title in the morning.  at 6am.  i'll be up.  and there will be a nap tomorrow. :)

saturday 2 july 2005 12:30am

"there you go flashing fever from your eyes
hey baby, come over here and shut them tight
i'm not denying, we're flying above it all
hold my hand, don't let me fall
you've got such amazing grace
i've never felt this way
oh, show me heaven
cover me, leave me breahtless
oh, show me heaven, please
here i go, i'm shaking just like the breeze
hey baby, i need your hand to steady me" -- jessica andrews "show me heaven"

the friday before a long weekend always seems to be good. :)

this morning, i headed off a few minutes early and picked up breakfast at starbucks before heading off to work and stopping to pay rent on the way.  mmm... starbucks.  it had been a long time.  i missed it. :)  anyway, i may have been 2 minutes "late" (meaning after 9, when i try to be at work even though i'm the only one who cares at all), but it was so worth it to be able to sip on a white mocha all morning.

i worked hard today, knowing that i'd get to leave the office at 2.  there were figures for "rtc" to be made so that the magazine can be put together next week.  i actually accomplished even more than i had anticipated, so i feel like i earned my keep today.  even if i did actually leave at 2 and was paid for a full day's work.  and the fact that we knew we'd leave at 2 didn't stop marke and me from going out to lunch.  el pollo loco.  i'd never been there before.  it was alright.  and marke fired question after question the whole time.  i was tired by the end.

after work, i went to the salon that's in the shopping center right next door to see if i could get a haircut.  i was in desperate need of one.  well, luckily for me, bobby was able to take me right away.  (no, i'd never been there before and i had no idea who bobby was.)  anyway, it was the best overall haircut experience of my life!  seriously!  everyone asked me if i needed water or coffee.  and they were all so nice.  and bobby was excellent!  he's 30, straight, been cutting hair for 7 years, has a beautiful girlfriend who used to wear her hair straight but is now wearing it wavy/curly because that's the style (i even got to meet her), and has a graphic design/screen tees business on the side with his buddy who designs for dc shoes.  oh, and he cut my hair exactly as requested.  and i was in heaven while he washed my hair for me!  i had to remind myself to close my mouth, i was so relaxed!  haha! anyway, my hair is now slightly shorter and the ends look 100% healthier.  i'm so stoked, and it was worth every penny!  i only wish i needed a haircut more frequently so that i could go back to bobby more often.

after that, i headed home for a few minutes, but decided to go back out again.  first stop: costco.  mom got me a card, but i had to go to get my photo taken for the card.  and in the process, i picked up a couple things, like fresh bread and movie tickets. :)  then, it was off to target for a couple little things, nothing too exciting.  and then i went to barnes and noble in search of the "w" magazine with angelina and brad.  it hit newsstands 24 june.  well, it's sold out everywhere.  in fact, if you see one, get it for me and i'll pay you back with the cash and my first-born child!  please, please, please!  anyway, then i headed home.

i have spent my entire evening re-desinging my website.  this mostly means new graphics, but whatever.  i'm pretty happy with it.  now it just needs a little content updating.  i'll get there, though. :)  and i think that's all from here for now...

thursday 30 june 2005 9:50pm

"what is it about you that drive me crazy
what is it about you that drives me wild
what is it that gets my heart a-racin'
well i've been thinkin' about it
and i've finally put my finger on it
it's everything you do like what you do when you're with me
it's everything you say and how you say it, baby
your kiss, your touch, the way that you love
guess what i'm tryin' to say is
it's everything" -- chris cagle "everything"

thursday seemed, in large part, to just be one of those days.  but then it had it's highlights, as well.

i got up this morning, and it felt entirely too early.  but i did it anyway, and i got cleaned up and dressed and headed out the door.  this morning, i remembered the ipod, but still didn't have breakfast because i have no clean bowls and i didn't feel like washing them.

work today was busy.  well, for me, at least.  i had lots of things to be working on, but it seemed like everyone else didn't.  so i tried my best to stay on course.  everyone else played poker this afternoon.  i had to turn down the offer to play because i still had a list of things to accomplish before the end of the day.  it's weird to be working while everyone is in tim's office laughing and goofing off and whatever.  i don't mind the work at all, though.  plus, i  had absolutely no cash on me for their $3-buy-in and the last thing i want to do is owe anyone else money.

after work, i dashed home, discovered a huge package on my doorstep, brought that inside, changed my clothes as fast as is humanly possible, and headed down to salt creek.  i met melissa there, and we did the stairs again.  it was good, and being in the sunshine was nice. :)

then i raced back home so i could open my secret box!  it was a whole bunch of gifts from katie, who is so awesome!  a set of four beautiful(!) dessert plates, a cowgirl tampon case (overshare?), a platter, and a set of innocent bystander-trouble maker coffee mugs.  she's so good to me! :)  it was an awesome surprise after a busy, busy day.

then i got cleaned up (again), and i headed to the mall.  i even got to talk to katie on the phone for awhile while i browsed.  and i found a few little things to pick up, and my dinner out was tasty -- citrus squeeze with a vita boost. :)  mmm!

and now, i'm just hanging out, watching "sportscenter," and talking on the phone.  a site redesign is in the near future.  if i didn't have to be at work tomorrow morning, i'd stay up all night tonight doing it.  instead, i'll probably wait until the weekend.  i do get off tomorrow at 2, though! :)

wednesday 29 june 2005 10:11pm

"with all i have, with all i am
i promise you all my life
whenever the road is too long
whenever the wind is too strong
wherever the journey may lead to
i will be there for you
i will be there for you
through sorrow
or the darkest night
when there's heartache
deep down inside
just like a prayer, you will be there
and i promise you all my life" -- jessica andrews "i will be there for you"

sometimes wednesdays pass so slowly, feeling like i've been working forever and the weekend not quite on the horizon yet.  this wednesday went quickly, perhaps even too quickly.

i was up with the sun... or at least my early-morning alarm clock.  after getting clean, dressed, and ready, i headed out, forgetting to eat breakfast and forgetting my ipod on the kitchen counter.  oops.

it was a busy day at work.  there were just a lot of little assignments to take care of, like updating media kits with new editors' names and printing hundreds of handouts.  it's not exactly the most challenging work ever, but it's doable and i didn't particularly mind.  plus, the printing work left me with lots of time to throw darts.  i wouldn't say that i'm really getting better, but it's fun for me at  any rate. :)  and the recording of the podcast continues.  our first one hasn't been published yet, but you'll eventually find it at www.stepintoouroffice.com.  it's quite the extravagant experiment, i think.

i had lunch at baja fresh with melissa, marke, jan, and jan's wife tey.  it was fun, and we ate outside in the sunshine (and wind).  someone needs to make the costco run for the kitchen at work.  the cupboards are bare.

this afternoon, melissa and i went to the stairs to work out (and check out all the surfers).  it was a beautiful day out, so being out there was really, really nice. :)  i do love living where i live.  and then i came home, had some dinner, watched the latest episode of "beauty and the geek" (the right team got kicked off), and tried to take a relaxing bath but again failed because the drain wouldn't plug.  oh, well.  i'm working on a redesign of the website (just some artistic stuff, really).  i wish i had more hours to sit at the computer and do that, but somehow i also feel that i need to go to sleep.  and with that, i'm off...

tuesday 28 june 2005 9:10pm

"baby to love you once is to love you forever
i can't kick your affection
i'm sick of tryin' to
you're like a bad addiction
runnin' through my veins
you're the habit that i crave, yeah
some kinda voodoo in your eyes
has my head hypnotized
baby to love you once is to love you forever
i've come to one conclusion
that there's just no substitution...
one look and i was hooked
one touch was all it took
your lips, your velvet skin
pulled me over and under and in" -- jessica andrews "to love you once"

no matter how hard i try, i'm still never in bed and asleep as early as i might like or as early as would be conducive to a full night's sleep.  but i still get up when that alarm clock goes off in the morning.

i headed off to work this morning, another day doing less actual design work and doing more research, searching for more good ideas and inspiration.  with a redesign of the corporate website coming up, we had a meeting today to discuss new ideas, new designs, new content, and whatever else we could think of.  in order to prepare, i spent my morning looking at other websites.  there's some good stuff out there.  and the meeting also went really well, though it somehow ended in a discussion of transvestite men who are heterosexual.  yeah.  i do love working with these people!  and we also started in on recording our first ever podcast.  i believe it will be called "step into our office."  it's a collection of the best art department conversations in the 2 or 3-day period before it's published.  we talk about all sorts of random stuff -- from underground coal fires to transvestites -- and thought it would make a cool podcast for people in less interesting offices... or just our friends and family who only wish they could be at rtc every day.  anyway, the microphone's working!  i'll keep all of you posted on how to listen as soon as i myself know.

lunch today was so much better than the usual frozen whatever that i dig up in the kitchen.  tim, jan, marke, lea, melissa, jenna, and i went to san clemente pizza co. for lunch, which was delicious! :)  plus, it's nice to get outside the building on a sunny june afternoon.

this evening, i've done pretty much nothing. :)  kath called from her new dorm room at ucla (she's at a summer program working for lawrence livermore labs -- seems like she's travelled a long way to work for a company that's so close to home) to catch me up on where she is, how she's doing, and the fact that she'll be taking the bus around la all summer.  who knew that was even possible?!?  ;)  so we'll probably be making plans to see each other in the near future.  i also watched the new "average joe" that premiered tonight.  love that stuff!  even if i don't think it's as good as my new reality love, "beauty and the geek" (on tomorrow night).  and maybe i'll get to bed a few minutes earlier tonight...

monday 27 june 2005 9:00pm

"i finally decided there was nothing i could do
so i gave up
and i let go
and as soon as i did
wouldn't you know
just look what i found when i wasn't looking
look what i found when i was just being me
i turned around and love was mine for the taking
look what i found when she found me" -- chris cagle "look what i found"

yes, i have been absent for a few days, but it was all in the name of family, fun, and volleyball! :)  but rest easy, devoted readers.  i am back in laguna and back to updating the journal.  by the way, photos of fan fair and the new apartment should be up in the near future, and i'll keep you posted on that.

anyway, let's begin where i left off: friday.  friday was a fun day at work, mostly because there wasn't a whole lot to be done.  i did a bit of design research online, as well as started reading "print" magazine.  i found a printing error in it, which was totally exciting!  and i learned all about underground coal fires.  did you know there are fires burning underground that cannot be extinguished?  there's one in pennsylvania.  and there's one in australia that's 6000 years old and was originally thought to be a volcano.  somehow, that's what we sat around discussing all afternoon.  it really is fascinating!  and after work, i headed up to anaheim to meet up with my family.  they're all in the area because adam's volleyball team had a 4-day tournament in anaheim.  so anyway, i got there in time to watch their last game of the night.  then the boys went to the house where they were staying, and i went with the parents to downtown disney for dinner.  it was fun. :)  i wanted to go to the park really badly, though.

saturday morning, the boys started at 8.  i slept until 10 and then met up with the parents for lunch.  i had a sandwich that was delicious.  i only had to send it back twice, argue with the waitress, and have the manager admit that i was right to get it exactly how i wanted it.  but it did taste good.  anyway, then it was an afternoon and evening full of volleyball at the sports center.  it's a huge warehouse converted to a gym with 22 volleyball courts.  anyway, i had a good time!  and then the boys went back to their house, mom, dad, and i grabbed dinner, and it was off to bed.

sunday was another busy day.  we got up early and came down to laguna so mom and dad could see my apartment.  it was mom's first time down here and dad's first time seeing it all organized and set up and everything.  they seemed to like it, even if mom is still shocked every time she sees the number of shoes i have.  as if i have a lot of shoes. ;)  and then we had lunch (outside) at the cheesecake factory.  so delicious!  and then we went back to anaheim for several more hours of volleyball.  after volleyball (approximately 9pm), the whole team, the accompanying parents, and i went to dennys for some dinner.  i sat with the boys in my effort to avoid more unsolicited financial planning advice.  oh, man!  that was one of the best decisions of my life!  seriously! :)  i had an absolute blast hanging out with them and i laughed until i cried and my stomach was sore.  it was awesome!  they're good kids, and they're so funny!  and while i knew that i was sacrificing some sunday night sleep, i felt more rejuvenated after that than i have in awhile.  and then it was back home for me.

and today... it was a good monday, as mondays go.  went to work.  finished off that issue of "print" magazine.  got the latest issue of "cots" back from the printer.  i don't know.  it was just pretty normal, i guess.  and this evening, i haven't been up to a whole lot.  ran a couple errands.  made a random dinner.  walked to the grocery store for a little item.  watched "sex and the city."  it has been a good time. :)

tomorrow... not sure...

thursday 23 june 2005 11:02pm

"so lay me down easy
and hold on tight
and tell me i'm the only one you see tonight" -- sara evans "tonight"

nothing ruins a quiet, candlelit bath quite like someone unexpectedly knocking on your door.  i didn't go see who it was, but they were still quite the disturbance.

thursday 23 june 2005 8:27pm

"i'll lose my mind if i can't see you
without you there is nothing in this life
that would make life worth living for
i can't beat the thought of you not there
i can't fight what i feel anymore
i but i need to be next to you, oh
i need to share every breath with you, oh
i need to know i can see your smile each morning
looking into your eyes each night
for the rest of my life
here with you, near with you
oh i, i need to be next to you
oh i, i need to be next to you
i need to have your heart next to mine
for all time
love you for all of my life" -- sara evans "need to be next to you"

i.  am.  so.  exhausted.  but all the fun i have had in the past couple days has totally been worth the sleep i sacrificed.

i went to work on tuesday.  i'm sure it was fine.  i can't remember that far back, really.  anyway, sarah met me at my apartment in the evening, fully exhausted from a day of driving through lots and lots and lots of la traffic.  we went to olive garden for dinner -- cheezy as that may be -- and had a nice time just chatting and catching up and everything.  and we stayed up late (meaning later than my normal 11:30) talking and whatever.  it was really nice.

wednesday, i still had to go to work, even though it was an absolutely perfect summer day in laguna.  i even had a lunch meeting, so i couldn't even have lunch with sarah.  sarah, however, had a really great day chillin at the beach.  man, i'm so jealous!  and i met up with her after work.  we went up to aliso viejo for some dinner (we sat outside, which was so wonderful!) and to see "mr. and mrs. smith."  i really enjoyed this movie, and i really do think it was in the vein of "the bourne identity" (same director).  anyway, i'd recommend it, and really it wasn't so violent.  i mean, sarah saw it.  and again we were up late just chatting and whatever.

i went to work today for another busy day, and sarah headed off.  i'm going to miss that girl.  she's off to syracuse on wednesday.  so now i'm just half-asleep-half-watching-game-7.  i've nodded off more than once on this couch, even.

the weekend will mostly be spent with my parents and brother, i think.  they'll be in town for my brother's volleyball tournament in anaheim.  should be a good time.  or at least i'll get some free meals out of it. :)

monday 20 june 2005 9:57pm

"so i'm saving my breath
for something worth being said
like i love her and i need her
i'll do anything to please her
'cause i'd like to see her smile
and watch her eyes light up
just like the morning sun
the day i met her i knew i never would forget her
so i bought a ring and put it on her finger
and i promised to my heart forever more and i would never take it back
and that's all i got to say about that" -- blaine larsen "that's all i've got to say about that"

hello, dedicated readers.  some days are easier to write about than others, and it's not that today was particularly different than most any other monday, but for some reason i'm just not that sure what to write.

i got big and rich going through the speakers at work this morning, which was fun at least for me. :)  man, i could have so much fun with the music around there if i didn't think it would bother everyone else around me.  when i have my own office one day, it's going to be so awesome!  :)  and i had my new muzikmafia shirt on today, to go along with that big and rich album.  rawk!  i'm so cool!  ... or not cool... ;)  if you had 5 minutes to choose your top 5 albums, what would they be?  (we're allowing for the fact that if asked again tomorrow you could totally change your mind.)  i had trouble answering this question this morning.  in fact, i still am.

i've known most of my friends for a really long time.  and i rarely feel like i've lost many along the way.  i think that's pretty awesome.

this evening, i came home from work and magically transformed into suzie homemaker.  i did the laundry (i still hate doing laundry in this place), i made lasagna for dinner, and i straightened the apartment a bit for my guest arriving tomorrow.   sarah's coming for a couple days to visit me! :)  we're going to disneyland tomorrow night, and who knows what else we'll find ourselves up to.  i'm stoked!

so i'm off to bed... or something... good night!

sunday 19 june 2005 9:36pm

"and only you could get me out of this place
save me
give me what i need
i know you can break these chains
and set me free...
wishing you were here
'cause i can't hold on
calm me down when i lie awake all night long" -- marc broussard "save me"

sundays are supposed be to chill, right?  right.  even if saturday was, as well. :)

the phone rang at 10:30 and woke me up.  it was mom.  no, she didn't need anything important, and, no, it was not necessary for her to call at such an early hour.  oh, well.  and i'm just not that good at going back to sleep after being woken up like that, so i was then up.

i once again enjoyed a nice breakfast on the deck in the morning sunshine.  i am trying to make a habit of this.  it is such an excellent way to start out any morning, really.  and then  i spent some time cleaning this apartment.  it was the first time ever, actually.  i even tried out the new vacuum.

in the afternoon i watched the end of the u.s. open (golf, not tennis, so you don't get confused).  and then i headed out for some errands.  first stop: car wash.  this was the first time my car has been washed since i moved down here.  it needed it desperately!   then i went to kragen to pick up some bulbs for my car (still haven't actually changed it, but i'll get there soon enough).  and then my grocery shopping.

and i spent my evening watching the spurs beat the pistons and giving myself a manicure. :)  and now, i think i'll crawl in bed with a movie and fall asleep.  it's been a good weekend, even if i've done next to nothing.

sunday 19 june 2005 12:39am

"your skin is like the moonlight
dancing in the midnight
your touch is sweet as candy
your kisses they taste so fine, so fine
and i want to love you better
you don't have to be alone
i want to let you know forever's waiting right here at home
and i want to be where you are
come on take all i've got
i want you to know just how i feel
i've loved you from the start
i want to be where you are...
i've stood alone in new york city
i've watched the sunset in l.a.
i ride for miles and miles and end up getting nowhere
but i've never, never felt this way" -- marc broussard "where you are"

yesterday (friday) and today have been pretty mellow, though also pretty enjoyable.  funny how things just seem to be a bit brighter when the oc sunshine finally comes out.

i went to work yesterday.  pretty much everyone else did not.  it was basically me, jan, and melissa.  but i think that was fine, especially since there wans't actually that much work to be done because we just sent those magazines out to print.  i just had some little things to take care of and was also sort of working on a special project.  the three of us joined john and some other people for lunch out, which turned out to be quite long because the service was less than speedy, even if the food was good.  and after a couple hours of work after lunch, we all just took off, ready to get our weekends started.

i just headed home after work, since i didn't really have anything planned.  it was a nice day out, so i hung out on my deck, cell phone in hand.  i talked to mel for a bit, which was awesome since i rarely find time to catch up with her.  and i also talked to sarah for a bit, which is always fun but was particularly exciting because she revealed plans to come visit me this week.  i'm stoked!

after a little bit of dinner and enjoying the keith urban feature on "dateline," i figured that it actually was time for me to get out of the apartment for a bit.  after all, that's what friday nights are for, right?  so i went to a place that i've always been comfortable enjoying solo: the bookstore.  so i wandered around there for awhile, which i really enjoyed.  i even found myself a couple magazines and books for a bit of summer reading. :)  surprise, surprise!  then it was back home, and i eventually crashed out on the couch watching jay.  a few minutes later, i dragged myself to the proper bed.

i didn't see too much of this morning, but i generally like saturday mornings like that. :)  when i did actually get myself out of bed, i fixed myself a bagel and sat with that and a magazine out on my deck in the sunshine. :)  it doesn't get a lot better than that, does it?  and i spent all morning and most of the afternoon just reading, some outside, some inside.  it was very quiet and relaxing. :)

i eventually got myself cleaned up and ordered dinner in.  and after a nice chat with the family on the phone, i decided on another late(ish) night excursion.  this time i went to the local movie theatre to see "lords of dowtown."  ok, so i loved the documentary ("dogtown and the z-boys") and i knew i'd probably enjoy the movie, as well.  i loved it!  the whole thing was awesome, really showing what it was like in venice and what it was like trying to basically found skateboarding.  and i loved all the characters and the story and everything.  i don't know.  it was just a really good movie!  oh, and the tony-hawk-as-a-non-skateboarding-astronaut cameo may be the funniest cameo ever!

and now i'm back at home just relaxing before i eventually crawl back into my bed.  it's a quiet weekend, but sometimes that is a lot of fun.

thursday 16 june 2005 10:33pm

"i'll see you on the other side
if i make it
and it might be a long hard ride
but i'm gonna take it
sometimes it seems i don't have a prayer
let the weather take me anywhere
but i know i wanna go...
'cause you'll be there" -- george strait "you'll be there"

thursday was mostly uneventful, but i'll give the highlights before i crash.

work was crazy busy trying to wrap up "cots" and get that shipped.  i didn't ever have a section since i was gone during the initial assembly of the magazine.  however, since i've gotten back from nashville i've worked on pretty much every single page.  crazy, no?  but it got shipped and is now with the printer.  thank goodness.

there was an earthquake today.  not my first, as i'm a californian.  it did, however, seriously shake the building i work in.  and it was long.  kind of crazy, but everyone seems to be fine.

mark-e let me play country music (this may have happened only because he forgot his ipod and was desperate for some music and asked me if i had my ipod before he remembered that it'd contain a ton of country music and he doesn't like country music) in the office today.  yay!  finally!  it was only us in the room, so that's also a likely reason why it was ok to play country music.  so i had to tell him about who these people are.  it was fun for me. :)  and he totally won't ever like country music because he has a huge mental block against it, but at least he was totally willing to listen for a couple hours.  ::sigh:: i do love country music. :)

this evening was quiet.  i chatted with some friends online and talked to kath on the phone for a bit.  then i went to target to procure a vacuum cleaner because i'm going to need one.  actually, i've for sure lived here long enough that i should have vacuumed by now.  :)  so now i can.  and i may have found a few other fun little things there... because that's just how target is.  and now i'm off to bed.  i'm sleepy.

wednesday 15 june 2005 10:05pm

"follow me, take my hand, the bed's still warm
leave this busy world outside and get lazy with your love
lazy with your life
let's take all day, we ain't in no rush
you're amazing when we touch
you drive me crazy when i get lazy with your life
the sunlight through the window, it dances on your skin
my fingers memorize your body and i fall in love again
you look deep inside of me and i realize
that everything i ever need is in your eyes" -- keith anderson "lazy with your love"

alright, it's time that i finish the account of nashville.

sunday night was 100% incredible.  every single second of that show was perfection.  it doesn't get a whole lot better than this.  the crowd was fired up.  the performers had energy that just kept growing.  it was like every single person there wanted to be there more than anywhere else, and that made for a wonderful show!

first up was jeff bates.  he has been called the barry white of country music, and i'd say that is true.  haha!  and he just has this voice that can win you over instantly.  plus, he got out into the crowd, which is quite a feat considering the stage was 10 feet tall and there were a whole lot of barriers between the stage and the crowd.  and he covers conway twitty's "i'd just love to lay you down" better than pretty much anyone else.  or else i'm just a total sucker for that song! :)  haha!

second in line was diamond rio.  they are pretty big-time to be performing this early in the show, but it turned out to be a good spot for them.  they were fun, and the kept it up-tempo.  and they're one of those bands that i probably wouldn't see if it wasn't at fan fair.  i enjoyed them a lot!

next up was one of my favorites and someone i was anticipating seeing more than most, andy griggs.  i absolutely fell head over heels in love with his latest album, so i knew he'd put on a show that i'd love.  he was great, and had way more energy that i had anticipated, seeing as though his biggest songs are ballads.  anyway, he for sure lived up to all expectations.

van zant and lynyrd skynyrd were both meant to perform during this final show, but for some reason backed out before fan fair started.  their replacement was chris cagle.  i.  love.  chris.  cagle.  i've loved his music for a long time and hadn't ever seen him live, so i was so excited when i heard i was going to get to see him.  i mean, i love him more than van zant and lynyrd skynyrd, for sure.  so chris followed andy, and the show was really getting into full swing!  i'd venture to say that chris cagle was the best performer of the night, and that means a lot when i'm putting him up against all these other people that i really am a fan of.  this man was born to be on the stage, on this stage, in front of thousands and thousands and thousands of people.  he had the crowd going from the first moment, singing and dancing along.  at one point, he was in between songs and thanking the crowd for coming out when something crazy happened.  he said that he knew he wasn't the headliner of the show but he was so thankful to the crowd for making him feel like he was.  i mean, he's not a particularly huge star and a few weeks ago wasn't even scheduled to play fan fair at all and all of a sudden he found himself playing the big stage.  anyway, then he started crying.  like crying that wasn't just a single tear in his eye but crying that he couldn't control.  it was amazing.  and the crowd just got louder and louder and louder cheering for him.  he deserved every single hoot and holler and all the support from the crowd with that amazing performance he was putting on.  to see someone so thankful to be where they are, in that single moment seeing a dream being realized was crazy cool.  :)  i love chris cagle!  and after his incredible set, the crowd just cheered and cheered.  it was perfect.

and how do you follow the crazy performance of chris cagle?  there are only a few people capable.  sawyer brown was an excellent choice. :)  their lead singer is like this human dynamo with more energy than seems natural.  they were great!  he ran all the way from his stage to the far side of the other stage -- where it's hard for him to perform because he has no monitors there.  it was really fun!

and another highly anticipated performance was the muzikmafia's own big and rich.  they're performers.  that's what they do.  they're not really recording artists.  they need to be on a stage with a crowd watching.  and they were awesome!  they're so insane that it makes for a really good show!  and the music they did was all the most energetic, loudest, most rockin stuff they have.  they had that painter lady who's a part of the muzikmafia on stage painting, as always.  and two-foot fred made his appearance.  and cowboy troy joined in for a few songs.  and "save a horse ride a cowboy" is one of those songs meant to be heard live, so i finally got my chance!  and it was just spectacular!  i do love big and rich!

and rounding out the night was another member of the muzikmafia, gretchen wilson.  she did a great job, and i must say that i like her a lot more live than on the radio.  and this was the only time when the tv recording (the special will be on abc 2 aug) really interfered with the shows.  she took a pause, had a makeup person come out, stood on a mark, got some fancier lighting, and confetti was everywhere.  and this was mid-set, so that was a little weird.  but still very cool!

so i left fan fair completely and totally satisfied.  i had an amazing time listening to all this country music live.  i mean, i can't even put into words what it's like to just be able to take a few days out of my regular life and listen to live music day and night.  it's what i'd love to be able to do most days.  and some day, i will go back again.

and now, for my wednesday... it was busy.  busy busy.  i got up, got dressed, and realized that i had forgotten to go to the grocery store yesterday and therefore still had no breakfast food.  i headed off to work, stopping at the donut shop on the way. :)  work was insanely busy.  we normally stagger the magazines so that we're only working on one at a time.  well, since we're trying to change what time of the month "cots" goes to press, it directly overlapped with this month's "rtc."  they are being sent to press one day apart, and right after melissa, jenna, and i were out.  so today was full of last-second (literally) changes to everything imaginable.  and i'm not sure if it's just because they're all coming at once, but it seems like there are more corrections than normal this time around.  but i worked all day and things are good.  and i did take a few minutes out of the busy day to have lunch out with jan and melissa, which was cool. :)

after work, i remembered to stop off at trader joe's for some groceries before heading home.  and i've just been around the apartment cleaning some stuff up and watching a bit of tv.  i'm still enjoying "beauty and the geek," even if that makes me a bad person or is rotting my brain or any other things like that.  it's fun! :)  but now, it is time for me to get to bed, early enough to prove that i'm quickly turning into an old person.  i seriously need to find some adventures to fill my evenings.

tuesday 14 june 2005 10:32pm

"if you could see these tears that i'm crying
touch these hands that can't stop shaking
hear my heart that's barely beating
you will see a different man
but baby here i am
banging on your front door
my pride spilled on the floor
my hands and knees are bruised and i'm crawling back to you
begging for a second chance
are you gonna let me in
i was running from the truth, now i'm crawling back to you" -- backstreet boys "crawling back to you"

happy flag day!

alright, today was a quiet day at work.  very quiet.  on my way, i stopped at a real bagel shop to pick up breakfast since i have no food right now.  it's been a long time since i've lived somewhere where stopping at a bagel shop on my way somewhere was easy.  but now i know where to get a good bagel around here!  i <3 bagels.  seriously.  that's what it's called.  anyway, there were literally 7 people in the office today.  melissa, jenna, and tim were out, plus mark-e took off early because he's in the middle of finals.  mostly, it was just jan and me, and we both had plenty of work to keep us busy all day.  after work, i headed straight for best buy to celebrate a big new music tuesday! :)  gotta love those!  so i picked up the new backstreet boys, the new erika jo, and the keith anderson one that's been temping me for some time now.  yes, it was trouble.  yes, it was so fun!  so far, i've listened to the backstreet boys one, and i love it.  love it love it!  it's as perfectly candy sweet pop as i wanted!  and then i headed over to aliso for a movie.  i picked up my ticket and discovered a little pizza-by-the-slice place right near the theatre (it's in a massively huge shopping center that i haven't explored much of yet), so i grabbed a slice there before the movie.  then i saw "the sisterhood of the traveling pants," which i thought was really wonderful.  i loved the book, and i loved the movie, even though they had some differences.  the stories were a little bit different, but they preserved the personalities of the characters, and i liked that.  and of course, there were tears because that's just the kind of movie this is.  but i thoroughly enjoyed it!

but anyway... on to some more about the nashville adventure...

saturday morning we were once again up early.  with so much to be done in one day, i was so willing to sacrifice the rest and get on with more country music. :)  after grabbing some breakfast at starbucks (and laughing watching starbucks newcomers try to figure out what exactly to order), dad and i headed down to the riverfront and arrived just as things were getting started.  buddy jewell was mid-set.  there was one problem this morning, though.  it was raining.  steadily.  so after a few songs, we left the riverfront to pick up a couple of panchos -- one to sit on and one to put over our legs while sitting on the grass in the park.  it wasn't exactly woodstock bad, but it was less than comfortable.  but who needs comfort when you have wonderful live music?  yeah, not me.  so then it was back to the riverfront for the rest of the morning and into the early afternoon.  it rained the whole time.  we saw "nashville star" winner erika jo, jace everett, john berry, derryl perry, jimmy wayne, lauren lucas, bryan white, and hot apple pie.  i went over to the fence to try to get bryan white to sign my pass, but he wasn't signing.  he did come over and say hello and shake hands and such, so at least i did get to shake his hand through the fence and have a (very brief) chat with him.  i thought erika jo and jace everett were also particularly good!

then dad and i decided that we could use a couple hours out of the rain, so we walked around looking for a place for lunch.  while walking, we ran into erika jo on the sidewalk, so i stopped to say hello and have her sign my pass and tell her that i watched her on "nashville star."  she's very small, (duh.) but very nice.  anyway, dad and i found lunch at eddie george's sports bar, which was quite good, actually.

we then headed over to the convention center looking at who was doing signings and seeing what merchandise was available.  i found myself a rad keith keychain, so i was stoked!

then dad and i went to the country music hall of fame and museum, which i must say was really, really cool!  it's not so easy to make a museum about music (something so intangible) interesting, but they did an excellent job.  plus, it was just cool to walk through all the history of country music.  i have a lot to learn, though i've always known that.

we had a light dinner outside (in the few moments that it wasn't actually raining on saturday) at the hard rock.  i've eaten at so many around the world that it seemed quite appropriate.  plus, it was just a cool place to sit around and whatever.

then we headed over to the coliseum for that night's show.  as soon as we arrived in the coliseum, it started raining.  of course.  so i had the pleasure of watching the show in the steady rain with a poncho and raincoat on.  but of course i wasn't leaving.  and after a certain number of hours in the rain, it doesn't really matter anymore because you can't get any more wet.  first up was one of my favorite new artists, miranda lambert.  she was great, of course!  and i love her positive attitude!  she said she loves singing in the rain because it makes it more dramatic!  i say, that's perfect for a country concert then, since there's so much drama in the music.  then was joe nichols, who i wasn't sure about, but he turned out to put on a good show.  i love that song "what's a guy gotta do," anyway, so i was bound to like his performance.  then it was jodee messina.  she has a huge amount of energy!  i'm not that into most of her latest material, but she played old(er) favorites, so that was a great time.  next up was trace adkins.  i had never previously gotten the appeal of trace adkins.  now i get it.  totally.  he started out with "rough and ready" and i was hooked instantly!  i get it!  plus, with a shirt and jeans that tight and all that blonde hair, what's not to love? ;)  anyway, next was trisha yearwood.  she's returning to country after a few years off.  rumors were flying all weekend that garth would join her on stage because they just got engaged and he sings that background vocals on her new single.  well, he never came on stage, but it was reported in the newspaper the next day that people said he stuck his head out really quickly.  anyway, her voice was even better live!  incredible!  after her set, people started leaving because it was still raining.  i traveled way too far to leave the main show early, though.  i was sticking it out no matter what.  so next on stage was kenny rogers.  yes, he's probably too old to be doing this and his set was entirely too long compared to everyone else's but he was still good.  and clearly, he loves to perform, which translates into a good show.  and rounding out the night was another older performer, wynonna.  she was quite good, though, and it was worth water in my shoes. :)

sunday morning we got an extra hour or so of sleep. :)  and since it was still a bit rainy out, we started out at the convention center.  i found myself a really rad new shirt, and we walked around a bit more.  there was a lot going on, and i even spotted emerson drive doing a signing.  love them!  and then we eventually found a bit of lunch at hooters, where i'd never dined before.  it was fine.  and i love that everywhere in nashville plays country music.  how do i get that started out here in the oc? ;)

then we headed down to the riverfront for some more music!  the rain had lightened up a lot, so it was decently pleasant.  i mean, compared to just pouring rain.  the show was running a bit late, so we got even more music that we had anticipated.  we saw catherine britt, paul brandt, aleyce simmonds, justin mcgurk, jedd hughes, the wilkinsons, elizabeth cook, michael peterson, connie smith, jason aldean, and david lee murphy.  i was pretty impressed with nearly everyone, even irishman justin mcgurk.  actually, i really wanted to see the wilkinsons because i've loved them for ages and hadn't ever seen them live.  they were great!  michael peterson sang some songs that i've loved since i first got really into country music, so that was a lot of fun for me.  and i absolutely love loved jason aldean!  he was so excellent!  good show, good music, good hat!  i even went over to the fence and met him afterward and had a little chat.  he was way nice!

then dad and i walked around the downtown area a bit, wandering in and out of some of the little shops there.  i particularly liked willie nelson's general store. :)  then we walked over to the coliseum to see the celebrity cars that were meant to be on display there.  i guess that got cancelled due to the rain, since they weren't there.  so we just hung out and whatever until showtime in the coliseum.

i'll leave the final coliseum show for tomorrow since it was so wonderful that it needs more time dedicated to it than i have right now.  i'm off to bed!

monday 13 june 2005 9:00pm

"then later on when we finished our songs
about scars and cars and broken hearts i saw him
he was standing there right next to the stage
and he shouted, 'man you were right, it was like you sang
those songs about me
and who i am
songs about lovin' and livin'
and good hearted women, family and God
yeah, they're all just songs about me
songs about me'"  -- trace adkins "songs about me"

i am back in laguna, back after a wonderful trip to nashville for the country music association music festival fan fair 2005.  yeah, that's seriously the official title.  i'll be referring to it as fan fair.  and let me just say that i <3 fan fair. :)

i was awake well before the break of dawn on thursday morning, and i was off to lax.  i got through security (after i had a big old issue trying to get binoculars through), found a bite for breakfast, and met up with dad at the gate.  he had flown into lax from san jose.  and eventually, we were on a plane bound for nashville, tn.  this was my first ever trip to nashville.

after more than 4 hours, we arrived and found our way to our hotel, right next to vanderbilt university and music row.  and there was no time to be wasted, so i slipped on some different clothes and dad and i headed downtown, where fan fair is held.  in case you are unaware (sad for you), fan fair is the biggest country music festival in the world, and it is held every year in nashville.  there are several venues in downtown nashville.  there was the gaylord entertainment center, which was sort of their administrative headquarters and was where we checked in and got fun things like programs, pins, and schedules.  there was the nashville convention center, which is where they have an exhibit hall and a small stage called acoustic corner.  the exhibit hall was mostly artists' booths and fan clubs' booths.  if you don't mind standing in line (and therefore not being in a place where you can actually listen to live music), you can meet all sorts of country musicians, from the complete unknowns to the very famous, like kix brooks.  there was merch here, as well, which is kind of cool.  i'm the proud owner of a new muzikmafia shirt and a keith urban keychain. :)  anyway, the artists at the acoustic corner stage were total unknowns so i didn't spend time watching music there really.  there were family fun zones (meaning booths with freebies, food on sticks, and things like cowboy hats to purchase) near the riverfront stage and near the country music hall of fame.  mostly, we just sort of walked through these areas.  oh, and ate. :)  then were was the riverfront stage.  actually, it was two side-by-side stages right on the cumberland river, with seating on a grassy hillside.  there was live music on these stages (one stage had a performer while the other was being prepared for the next singer so the music never stopped) from 10am to 6ish every day.  yes, that is a whole lot of country music.  and it's even more when i tell you that each performer performed about 4 songs.  and then there was the sports zone and the chevy stage in the parking lot to the coliseum.  there were some smaller activities going on there, as well as 2 performers each night on that chevy stage between the end of the show at riverfront and the beginning of the show at the coliseum.  and of course, there was the coliseum, with a huge 3.5-hour concert each night.  this was the main event. and here, there were also two enormous stages side-by-side so that one could have a performer and the other could be assembled for the next performer. so there was a lot to do at fan fair, obviously.

so back to thursday....  we headed downtown, checked in at the gaylord entertainment center, and headed down to the riverfront to see who was performing.  (*note: this entry will include lots of names that mean nothing to you if you don't listen to country music, but you'll just have to get over that*)  cowboy troy was in the middle of his set when we arrived.  then it was trent willmon, who was really impressive to me.  i even picked up a free sample of his music at a booth later in the weekend.  and then it was the bellamy brothers, followed by shelly fairchild, whose cd i really enjoy.  she was good live, as well!  and she can sing!  dad and i eventually headed across the pedestrian bridge to the other side of the river to the coliseum grounds.  we walked around the sports zone for a bit, and then we enjoyed ryan shupe and the rubberband and lane turner on the chevy stage. 

the coliseum show thursday night was a wonderful way to get fan fair '05 kick started!  oh, man!  first up was trick pony.  they know how to put on a show, so it was a lot of fun!  and then was phil vassar, one of my absolute, hands down favorite performers ever.  i love him!  and of couse he was as incredible as ever.  in the middle of his set, he also brought out american idol carrie underwood for a duet and for her to sing her new single.  she was also good.  next up was julie roberts.  her album is one of my favorites, so i was really excited to hear her live, and she totally lived up to all expectations!  next was dierks bentley.  i've always heard how good he is live, and of course he totally was!  and then it was sugarland.  they are one of the bands i was most looking forward to seeing because i absolutely love their album because it's so fun.  and man, they were totally fun live!  i love sugarland!  and of course, the legendary dolly parton, accompanied by the grascals, was wonderful!  i mean, hello?  dolly parton.  yeah. :)  then it was leeann womack.  she was really quite good.  and man, she can sing!  and, to close out the night, my boyfriend keith urban put on the greatest set!  ooh baby, ooh baby, i love keith!  he's so incredible, and he totally wowed the whole crowd!  so yay for keith and yay for a wonderful night!

friday morning it was up bright and early!  dad and i grabbed a quick breakfast and then walked around the vanderbilt campus until we found the bookstore.  we picked up a quick gift for someone, and then went downtown for more fan fair.  we went down to the riverfront stages and basically listened to music there all day long.  seriously.  :)  it was awesome!  we saw jessi alexander, carolyn dawn johnson, mark wills, amber dotson, david ball, steve azar, linda davis, aaron lines, bobby pinson, blaine larsen, craig sellers, rebecca lynn howard, malibu storm, lila mccann, the wrights, billy ray cyrus, eric heatherly, wayne warner, jill king, jeffery steele, brittany wells, and emerson drive!  how do i even begin to talk about all these performers?  i guess i'll just tell you about my favorites. :)  so i've always loved carolyn dawn johnson, so i found her set totally enjoyable.  mark wills is a good performer, so he was a lot of fun, even if he is sort of cheezy.  and i totally love aaron lines.  love love!  and so he was wonderful, and he played some new material, which is exciting!  and then i went and met him after his set and he signed my pass and stuff.  it was cool. :)  blaine larsen was good and really normal and really young.  rebecca lynn howard's album is really good, and that girl has the pipes!  very good!  i'm stoked that there's new music about to come out from lila mccann, who i've loved since "i wanna fall in love."  she was great!  billy ray cyrus was the first person to get all the thousands of people who were hot and tired and whatever off their feet and singing along.  and he's a born performer.  it's ridiculously obvious.  and the couldn't quite get him off the stage when his set was done, but at least you know he loves it.  jeffrey steele is someone i only knew as a songwriter, but he was quite a performer!  and of course, i love emerson drive so so so so much, and they were wonderful!!!  they said they are working on a new album right now with some new people -- a bit more country than before.  the middle three (of 5) songs they played were the new stuff, and i'm more excited than ever for a new album from them!  and they are just great!

it started pouring rain as we walked across the river to the coliseum.  super.  but rain or shine, i was going to hear all the country music provided in the coliseum.  the rain actually let up once we got there, anyway.  he coliseum show was great, yet again! :)  it stated out with craig morgan, followed by josh gracin.  josh gracin must have read my mind when assembling his set, because he sang all of my favorite songs off his album.  he was wonderful!  i was pleasantly surprised by how good he was, actually.  next up -- and perhaps too early into the show for his level of fame -- was alan jackson.  what do i even say about alan?  he's a star!  then it was shedaisy, who i have loved since they first broke.  i mean, i even loved their sophomore album that nobody bought.  this was my first time seeing them live, and they put on a wonderful set!  i did want to hear "come home soon," though, and that didn't happen.  blake shelton was next.  i hadn't realized quite how many hits he has.  then it was travis tritt, who clearly loves to perform.  and then it was sara evans, who did a wonderful job.  she easily could have slipped into boring, but she didn't.  i liked her a lot!  and the show rounded out with rascal flatts, one of my favorite bands of all time.  i mean, i loved them from the first note i ever heard like at the gilroy garlic festival in july 2000.  and six years later, their live show is just as wonderful, though on a much, much larger scale.

and since i need to get to bed now, i'll finish up writing about fan fair tomorrow.  good night, all!

wendesday 8 june 2005 11:28pm

"find glory
beyond the cheap colored lights
one song
before the sun sets
glore on another empty life
time flies time dies
glory one blaze of glory
find
glory
in a song that rings true
truth like a blazing fire
and eternal flame
find
one song
a song about love
glory" -- "one song glory" from rent

today was an exciting one! :)  and i must say that i like that!  so here goes...

i got up and headed off to work, just like pretty much all the other mornings.  this would be my last day before i take 3 days off to go one a little trip, so there was definitely a list of things that needed to be accomplished by days end, plus all the things that just seem to crop up during a day's work.  so it was for sure a busy, busy day.  there were no darts to play, even.  (so sad, right? ;))

jenna emailed me and said she wanted to take me out for a one month lunch.  this made me a bit nervous about everything, but it went really well!  we went to this little authentic mexican place right across the street from the beach, so close that i could for sure smell the ocean.  love that!  and we had a nice chat, and things are going well from all perspectives.  i'm relieved.

and then it was straight back to work after lunch.  there were zillions of images to prepare for "cots" before i could leave, so i was just working away.  i finished exactly at 5, and then took a few minutes to straighten up my desk so that it'd be clean while i'm away.  and then just as i was about to leave, tim was in his office and started screaming "we won!  we won!"  i went in to see what exactly he had won.  it could have really been anything from online poker to the lottery  to a new design he was working on.  it turns out that "cots" won a design award!!!  yay!  the publications are already award-winning, but we've added another award to the list!  hooray! :)  that's right.  i work on an award-winning publication.  and after we informally discussed plans for a celebratory party, i headed out.  i'm free of all responsibilities for a few days.

i went over to the shops at mission viejo to check out the nordstrom half yearly sale and to use a special coupon at the gap.  yeah, life is good or life is trouble, depending on your perspective. :)  but let's just say that i have some new jeans, among other things.  hehe!  it was a lot of fun, actually, and i even picked up a jamba juice!  yeah!

and this evening has been full of packing and preparing and chatting with friends and listening to "rent."  so the trailer for the new "rent" movie is out of this world!  i'm so stoked about the film that words cannot even express my excitement!  and i seriously don't think i'm going to be able to wait for november.

and i won't be updating for a few days because i'm going to nasville for fanfair.  this is super exciting!  i've never been to nashville, and i've never been to fanfair, so this should be quite the experience.  i'll keep a written journal of some sort and then get that posted, along with some photos, i hope!

and since i need to be at the airport an an ungodly hour tomorrow morning, i'm off to bed now.  good night!  oh, and happy birthday, cassie!

tuesday 7 june 2005 10:06pm

"look at me i'm flying, a breath away from dying
holding on to her and letting go
as i walk across this wire above a lake of fire
and lean into the wind that starts to blow
with my eyes wide open knowing full well
i could fall from heaven, i could fall from heaven
i could fall, i could break, that's the chance that i take
i could fall
do i hide my heart, do i lock my door
do i tear it out so it don't feel no more
no, i risk it all knowing that i could fall from heaven" -- evan and jaron "i could fall"

i am so totally capable of having the craziest dreams in between alarm #1 and alarm #2.  it's weird, and some mornings, like this morning, it leaves me a little bit freaked out when i do wake up. 

but anyway, i managed to get up, get clean, and put a totally cute outfit! :)  and then it was off to work on a sunshiny morning, which immediately put me in a good mood!  there's not a lot better than a gorgeous morning, is there?  so anyway, work was busy busy busy today because i'm trying to get all sorts of things completed before i head off for a few days.  so i spent all day finishing up my section of "rtc" while also trying to get a jumpstart on all the figures for the next "cots."  and after a day of solid work, there's a lot for me to finish tomorrow.  but really, i like it this way. :)

i had japanese food for lunch.  if you know my normal lunch habits, this is far from ordinary.  anyway, jan's obsessed with this place called super bowl but can't ever find anyone to go with him.  today, mark-e and i decided we'd go along.  actually, it was pretty good!  and definitely something i wouldn't make for myself, if only a teriyaki chicken bowl.

this evening, i came home, changed my shoes, and headed back out again.  i went to target for a few essentials, and then i went to longs for some deck furniture.  and by "deck furniture" i mean $10 plastic adirondack chairs and a little side table.  but now i can lounge out on my deck whenever i please. :)  this is excellent!

and then i came home and finished the apartment.  everything is now in place.  i'm stoked!  this is wonderful!  it's so much more peaceful.  i even spent some time giving myself a badly-needed pedicure and reading a new chick lit book.   and now i'm watching the "primetime live" interview with brad pitt while my toes dry.  then, it's off to bed for me. :)

monday 6 june 2005 10:38pm

"it's like i can't breathe
without you inside of me
and i know i let you have all the power
and i realize i'm never gonna quit you over time
it's like i can't breathe
it's like i can't see anything
nothing but you
i'm addicted to you
it's like i can't think
without you interrupting me
in my thoughts
in my dreams
you've taken over me
it's like i'm not me" -- kelly clarkson "addicted"

oh, mondays.  ::sigh::

i headed off to work without eating breakfast this morning.  i was hungry, so i stopped off for a donut at the little shop right near work.  and then i went into the office only to discover i was definitely the first art department member there at 9am.  at least it's quiet that way and i could have a minute to settle into my duties.  slowly, the rest of them showed up.  :)  i spent the day putting together my section of "rtc" and helping out with more figures.  it is keeping me quite busy.  we basically have 2 magazines to finish before 3/4 of the magazine staff head out of town.

at lunchtime, i went with jan and melissa to costco.  melissa needed a few things, and jan and i basically just went along for the ride.  plus, now i know where the dana point costco is, and that information could come in handy.  and then we ate lunch in the kitchen.  super exciting. ;)

this evening, i wasn't feeling so hot, so i left work at 5:30 and came straight home.  i curled up on the couch with a book for a little bit before eventually making myself some dinner.  that seemed to make me feel a lot better.  and this evening, i did some badly needed ironing, organized the shoes in my closet, and hung up all the remaining photos and mementos around the apartment.  besides a few minutes worth of straightening, this apartment is totally set!  yay! :)

and now i'm going to bed to try to get a bit more rest than usual.  i'm sleepy, and i'm going to need to cure that before thursday.

sunday 5 june 2005 10:10pm

"take a look at me
tell me what you see
but someone longing to be
right here next to you
think of me and i'll be there
i'm wherever you want me to be
i want to be close to you
and whatever that takes i'm willing to do
and though sometimes i can't explain
the crazy things i do
rest assured your faith in me
i'll be right here for you
think of me and i'll be there
i'm wherever you want me to be
i want to be close to you
and whatever that takes i'm willing to do" -- evan and jaron "think of me"

i must just say that the past three days have been wonderful! :)  it was a weekend of lots of fun, if not one of a lot of rest.

so friday i went to work, like i do. :)  and it was a fun day.  i got my first magazine, may's "cots journal," actually in my hands in print!  i'm listed in the masthead, and all my figures are there and my section looks good.  so basically, i'm stoked!  and the afternoon was spent having a little company baby shower for jan and his wife tey.  their first baby is due july 12.  it's very exciting!  plus, i got to meet tey for the first time, after hearing about her so much.

after work, i headed to john wayne to catch my flight home.  i will quickly get used to flying out of john wayne instead of lax, i do think. :)  haha!  though i will be back at lax on thursday morning.  anyway, i chatted on the phone a bit in the terminal, and then eventually got on my (late) plane.  i made it all the way home, and even had time to chat with the family for a minute before we all crashed.

saturday was definitely the busiest day of my weekend in san carlos.  mom woke me up earlier than is generally desirable.  it was off to the city to meet grandma, jason, brenda, uncle ken, auntie lily, and theresa for lunch at sizzler to celebrate grandpa's birthday.  it was wonderful to see the whole family, especially grandma.  lunch was... well... it was sizzler. but i got to see everyone, and i got to show off my magazine.

then i met up with katherine, and we wandered around the mall for the afternoon.  mostly, we just wanted to hang out with each other, because that hasn't happened in ages.  so we did a bit of shopping.  i even found myself a really cool new hat.  it may make an appearance at fan fair this weekend.  we're not sure yet.  and it was wonderful to see kath, because that was unexpected.  she ended up being in town to see julia graduate from ndb, which is also totally a trip.  but anyway, it is always nice to hang out with kath.

and then i met annahita for a cheese-intensive dinner at sneakers.  they have some of my favorite pizza there, so i was stoked. :)  and we got to talk and catch up and find out all about what each of us is doing with our lives.  we'll probably never see each other again, so we took full advantage of a chance to have dinner.

and then i raced back home, threw on some jeans, and went out with meg and her friend from ireland, dave.  we went up to sf to see "beach blanket babylon."  it's such a san franciscan thing to do, but i hadn't ever seen the show before.  and now that i'm 21, i can get into the regular show.  the show was a lot of fun! :)  i really enjoyed it!  plus, the parking garage that we parked in had fortunes painted on the ground for each spot.  how cool is that?!?  i love it!  and so i got home that night long after everyone else was already asleep, so i chatted with sarah online for a bit and then crashed myself.

this morning, it was up and at 'em.  mom and i went to the mall (yes, again) to look for some jeans and whatever else i might find.  i came away with one new pair of jeans and a lovely new green skirt.  so fun! :)  and then i spent the afternoon baking black-bottom cupcakes for uncle ken, finally making good on my promise to him.  i definitely owed him a least a batch after all the moving he helped me do.

and then it was back to the airport for me.  i am now back in laguna and resting up before a few days of work.  and it's back on a plane bright and early on thursday.  oh, this jet-setting lifestyle is so awesome! ;)

thursday 2 june 2005 11:14pm

it's important to me to update this site, but at the same time, i'm exhausted, not close to ready for bed, and i have to get up in approximately 8 hours.  and i'm not quite sure what to write, really.  i suppose i'll just write something quickly about how today went.  i hope that's enough for the important people who read this.  no less love, just not enough hours in the day.

after some fresh squeezed orange juice (thank you, trader joe's) and an oatmeal cookie (definitely one of the breakfast-like cookies), i headed off to work.  i worked all day on rtc, making more figures, preparing more photos, and even starting (several days early) to lay out my pages for the issue.  and i'm loving this job.  i love this part of it.  this is what i enjoy the most.

lunch was spent in the lunch room again today, but i had more art dept. people in there with me today, so i didn't get grilled.  instead, it was more of a discussion about tv and this and that and nothing too important.  i had my magazine, once again, to keep me company, as well. :)  and after lunch, there was more work.  i guess that's appropriate. ;)

this evening, i ran home, changed my clothes, and met melissa at salt creek beach to work those stairs again.  june gloom is in full swing down here, but it is still beautiful at the beach.  and that salty ocean air... i love it.

and i have spent the night cooking a quickie dinner, doing way too much laundry, trying to pack for my weekend, and trying to make sure that this apartment is clean enough that i can leave it for a few days.  plus, i've been catching up with sarah online, since she's been in new york.  so let's just say that i've had enough to keep me busy.

and tomorrow, i'm headed straight to john wayne after work.  i'll be spending the weekend in the big s.c. (san carlos, for those of you not in the know) with the family and some friends.  i'm looking forward to it, even if it means another weekend that i won't be finding my way around laguna and another weekend that won't be spent putting the finishing touches on this apartment.  so i'll be at home this weekend.  that's where you can find me.

wednesday 1 june 2005 10:06pm

"come away with me in the night
come away with me
and i will write you a song
come away with me on a bus
come away where they can't tempt us
with their lies
i want to walk with you
on a cloudy day
in fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
so won't you try to come
come away with me and we'll kiss
one a mountaintop
come away with me
and i'll never stop loving you
and i want to wake up with the rain
falling on a tin roof
while i'm safe there in your arms
so all i ask is for you
to come away with me in the night
come away with me" -- norah jones "come away with me"

hmm.  i've always wanted to get into norah jones, but i've never taken the time.  and don't get all excited, but i still haven't, actually.  but this song was on during a tv show i was watching tonight, and though i've heard it many times before i just discovered that i really actually love the words.  actually, i wasn't really watching the show.  i was in the other room straightening things when i heard it just playing and i heard it in a whole new way.  love these words.  wanted to share. :)  and i do want someone to come away with me...

but anyway, it was sort of an interesting morning in laguna, i must say.  i caught the breaking news of a large landslide in laguna beach as i was getting ready to leave.  and i saw fire trucks racing down pch as i headed to work.  so there was that.  and oddly, my onramp was closed so i had to make an illegal u-turn (behind a whole line of cars doing the same thing) to get on the freeway.  weird.

work today was good.  i worked on more stuff for the next "rtc."  and we spent some time working on an ad, which is always fun for me since i do like advertising.  i ate lunch in the kitchen and was interrogated by non-art department people.  what's going on in your love life?  what do you do for fun?  are you wild and crazy?  what was your gpa in college?  how do you like orange county?  you lived with how many people in london?  and on and on.  in a way it was fun.  in another way, it was all a bit much when really i was just trying to enjoy a bagel and a fashion magazine.  but i suppose we are all getting to know each other quickly this way.  eventually, i escaped and got back to work.

and this evening, i came home, grabbed some leftovers for dinner, and curled up on the couch to finish "the sisterhood of the traveling pants."  i think it was wonderful!  loved every page of it, and i'll soon get around to reading the sequel(s).  there are quite a few other books waiting for me that are already on my shelves, though.  so now i'm left to decide what to read next.  i'm trying to watch a bit less crappy tv and read a bit more.

and speaking of crappy tv, i totally watched the premiere of "beauty and the geek" tonight, which i found completely hilarious!  what is the capital city of new england?  hahaha!  it was excellent!  oh, man.  i should not be allowed to watch it, but i live alone.  i can do as i please. :)

and so now i'm just straightening the apartment a bit, and i'll do a bit more reading tonight... or perhaps just watch "sex and the city" reruns.  we'll see. ;)

tuesday 31 may 2005 10:38pm

"i thought that this was supposed to feel good
and if you were really mine i guess it would
i didn't fall in love 'cause it was the right thing to do
i just went ahead and fell for you
oh, somewhere down along the line
i guess that love became a crime
this contradiction makes no sense
this is punishment
i feel like this is judgment day
i'll raise my hand, stand up and say
i don't believe i'm innocent
this is punishment
truth is your heart was never mine to take
now i'm stuck in a feeling that i'll never shake
i prayed for it to go, God knows i want it to stay
but here i am loving you either way" -- shedaisy "punishment"

i broke out the first shedaisy album the other day.  i've always loved this song.

it's been a busy day all around, though i'm not sure how much i should write here and how much i should just not write.  i don't know.  i guess i'll just write until i come to the end...

so first, i will just say that i've been distracted by thoughts of other things, which never makes the normal stuff easier, you know?

and i went to work to today, as that is the standard routine for tuesdays.  work was good.  i was not particularly busy, but things around the office just felt busy.  there are going to be some changes in the art department that are bittersweet and in the end probably good for me.  and then there was the client who didn't like how their rgb-designed ad looked once converted to cmyk and printed.  duh.  anyone who designs anything for print should know this, and yet they were still very upset.  who is designing ads for print in rgb to start with?!?  i don't get it.  and i was assigned my section of "rtc magazine" for june, which is great.  i'll have a much larger section than anyone originally anticipated.  seems like everyone is very pleased with my work and my knowledge thus far!  yay!  lunch was spent in the lunch room eating pb&j and cheetoes.  i left when some of the girls ("the girls" as opposed to "my girls") started discussing "if you could have a mail order husband from any country, which country would it be?"  yeah.  that was for sure my exit to leave.  plus, i already know the answer! ;)

after work, i came back to the apartment to change and grab a quick snack before heading down to salt creek to walk up and down the steps for a bit.  the beach was gorgeous, and i must say that there aren't many places more wonderful to live and to exercise.

then it was back home for a night of cooking and talking.  i was on the phone with megs forever, and i also made myself corn and lasagna and cookies.  :)  all of it was wonderful!

and now i'm just trying to wrap this up so i can go curl up in bed with the rest of "the sisterhood of the traveling pants."  the movie comes out tomorrow, and i have less than 100 pages left.  so i'm off to go read until i crash.  good night, all.

monday 30 may 2005 10:09pm

"it's an empty feeling
that fills your soul
when you've got nobody you're left out in the cold
i still can't believe
how you reached out to me
when you came
and you saved
a drowning man in an ocean of pain
when you gave me your heart to hold onto
baby, i'm rescued
now even on the darkest night
oh, i'm never alone
your love is a guiding light
leading me home
when you gave me your heart to hold onto
and i'm holding onto you
baby, i'm rescued
yeah, i'm holding onto you" -- emerson drive "rescued"

mondays off are for sure a good thing. :)  better not let me get used to it!  and i took full advantage of my day off, i must say.

so i got up this morning, moved myself and a blanket out to the couch, and settled in there.  it didn't take me too long to discover that there was a "laguna beach" marathon on mtv today, and when i tuned in i had only missed the first two episodes.  i've seen them all, so no big deal.  and i can tell you now that a "laguna beach" marathon is 100% trouble for me on a quiet day off.  i pretty much just sat around watching that.  all of it.  :)  it was so fantastic!  of course, i moved from the couch to do things like make myself meal #1, dig out some photos and things to display in the apartment, and ... well, i think that's about all.  so that brought me into the early afternoon.

and then i got my butt up off the couch and got cleaned up.  then i headed back out to the movie theatre where i was last night, this time to see "millions" on sarah's recommendation.  it was actually quite good!  it's definitely not anything like "layer cake," which i saw last night, but it was good.  and the boy in that film is totally adorable!

and since i hadn't actually purchased groceries in ages, i headed over to trader joe's and then albertsons for some food.  i know it's now summer because there's white corn in the stores!  yay!  that's for sure one of my favorites! :)  and i found some other yummy things, so i'll be eating well this week.  and i also went over to longs to have some of those graduation photos printed.  that needed to happen.  it was harder and took longer than i had anticipated, but i got most of what i wanted so those can also now be displayed in the apartment.

and now i'm just enjoy then last few moments of my weekend.  i think i'll try to get through some more of "the sisterhood the traveling pants" so that i can go see the movie when it comes out wednesday.  it's wonderful, so far! :)

so i hope that you all had wonderful long weekends!  good night!

monday 30 may 2005 12:40am

"my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me
so won't you kill me so i die happy
my heart is yours to fill or burst
to break or bury or wear as jewelry
whichever you prefer
hands down, this is the best day i can ever remember
i'll always remember the sound of the stereo
the dim of the soft lights
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together
the streets were wet
and the gate was locked so i jumped it
and i let you in
and you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it
and i knew that you meant it" -- dashboard confessional "hands down"

it's been a busy couple of days, i do suppose.  here's a quick recap in case you missed what has been going on. :)

so saturday morning i hopped in the volvo and started driving towards fresno.  i knew it would be a bit crazy trying to get out there on memorial day weekend, but i had to be there, so i did it.  and just over five hours and 275 miles later, i arrived at my hotel in clovis.  i got settled there, spent a bit of time on the phone with katie, and  relaxed for a minute.  then i made myself pretty and threw on a pink dress and headed over to trinity southern baptist church.

marie got married!  i know marie because we became friends when we became roommates in london.  and she married this guy josh, who i finally met yesterday.  and the wedding ceremony and reception were wonderful!  plus, a whole bunch of londoners were there, so we sat together and got to catch up on each other's lives.  we're all over the place, but this was a great way for us to come together again.  i'm working on getting pictures from wednesday.  there are a whole bunch. :)

and then i spent the night in clovis before heading back to laguna this morning.  again, traffic was a little bit nutty, but i made it in about 4.5 hours.  the drive gave me a good amount of time to just think and relax and whatever.  it's very peaceful in many ways to just drive.

so now i'm back in laguna to wrap up my 3-day weekend.  i hung a lot of photos and more art on my walls today.  pretty much everything is now in place, except for getting photos and mementos onto the bulletin boards and things of that sort.  so i'm getting there.  it feels like i live here, instead of like i just moved here.  and i got to chat with sarah, who's in syracuse apartment-hunting for a few days, which was nice.

and at some point i found myself eating plain pasta sitting on my couch watching a rerun of "one tree hill" (which is not even a show i watch).  i realized i needed to get out and do something.  haha!  so i went to see "layer cake" at my local "indy" movie theatre.  ("indy" in quotation marks because i'm not convinced a mann theatre is an independent theatre, though they do show all those small indy films.)  ok, so i liked the film and i feel like a better movie-goer having seen it.

and now it's for sure past my bedtime, so i plan on getting some rest.  good night, all.

friday 27 may 2005 10:09pm

"if you were mine i would celebrate like everyday was christmas
if you were mine i would love you like it's nobody's business
i would give you everything i had
i would treat you right, i would make you laugh
baby, i would smile forever
if you were mine
if you were mine every night would be a romance novel
if you were mine i would quench your thirst
like a tall glass of water
you would be my one desire
i would kiss you, like a house on fire
baby, i would burn like crazy
if you were mine
you're everything i can't resist
just to hear your voice is bliss
if you were mine i would shout it out
we'd show the world what love's about
we'd never sleep in our big old bed
we'd just kiss and kiss and kiss instead
if you were mine i would be complete
nothing would be missing, baby
if you were mine
if only you were mine" -- cyndi thomson "if you were mine"

i hadn't been at work very long this morning when john walked into the art department to tell us how happy he was that it's friday and that we should clear out around 1:30 or 2.  rawk!  :)  so work was good, today.  i did some work, i chatted with some co-workers, i worked on honing my darts skills.  and after the rest of the building failed to invite the art department (except tim) out to lunch with them, even though they asked marke about the place they were going, we all went out to wahoo's.  i'd never been there before, but it was really good! :)  i'll definitely be going back there, i'm sure.  plus, i'll just add that there was an unbelievable amount of eye candy in that place!  haha! ;)  jenna said that's the norm there.  sweet!  and then we did all eventually go back to work, though only until 3 when john came in and actually told us to leave.

with an extra 2.5 hours, i went over to the shops at mission viejo to make some returns and do a bit of browsing.  i did a bit more purchasing than i had anticipated, but nothing excessive.  it was nice! :)  plus, i found myself my first jamba juice in ages!  that was totally dinner.

and then i came home and hung my art.  everything looks nice, so i'm stoked!   really like all the blue/brown ones in my bedroom.  actually, i'll take pictures of the apartment once i get everything totally settled, and you'll be able to see how they all fit in the room.  and the pink/brown ones look nice in the living room, as well.  i'm really pleased.  there are just a few little odds and ends left to wrap up.  the photos, a couple more pieces of other people's art, some laundry and dirty dishes.  it's getting there, though!  i cannot wait until i'm totally done actually working on this apartment!  soon!

and now i'm just chatting with people online and relaxing and thinking about how many things i need to do tonight before i can leave for fresno tomorrow morning.  ugh.  i guess i should get to that and then get some rest.  good night, all, and happy long weekend!

thursday 26 may 2005 10:13pm

"there's a place on the corner of cherry street
we would walk on the beach in our bare feet
we were both 18 and it felt so right
sleeping all day staying up all night
staying up all night
if i could find you now things would get better
we could leave this town and run forever
let your waves crash down on me and take me away
there's a piece of you that's here with me
it's everywhere i go, it's everything i see
when i sleep i dream and it gets me by
i can make believe that you're here tonight
that you're here tonight" -- yellowcard "ocean avenue"

i liked today. :)  it was pretty normal, but it was good.

so i got up and went to work and had a busy morning working on more figures for june rtc.  i'm making it challenging for myself by trying to do a really good job with them, and i know i'm becoming way more proficient with illustrator.  this is exciting! :)

i went out to lunch with tim, melissa, diana, and starla, the rep from the printer we use that's located in kentucky.  starla was in town for the day, so it was an event worthy of lunch out.  we went to this little italian/pizza place called sonny's in san clemente, and it was way good.  i had really good gnocchi, and i know gnocchi.  plus, free lunch out is always a welcomed treat! ;)

and the afternoon was more work for me, but again, i'm really enjoying it.

and tonight, i headed straight home and got to work actually straightening this apartment.  i made serious progress.  the bookshelves are organized, the boxes have been taken to the dumpster, the kitchen is tidy (minus a few dirty dishes in the sink), and the dining room is in good shape.  the bedroom is still a little problem area, but i'm getting there.  and the art and photos and other things will be on the walls soon.

and i watched "the big idea" tonight for the first time in a long time because there wasn't much else on.  i do actually like this show, and i feel like i should watch it more often, especially as summer approaches and there's a serious lack of quality programming on tv during the summertime.  we'll see if i can remember to watch.

pictures of my first foray into fine art are up on the site, as well as a few photos from the men's volleyball national championships. :)  enjoy!

thursday 26 may 2005 8:10am

"when i sleep i dream and it gets me by, i can make believe that you're here" -- yellowcard "ocean avenue"

just a quick update before i head out to work...

happy 20th birthday to annahita!

i think the carl's jr. ad featuring paris hilton is genius.  seriously.  everyone's talking about it, even people who don't know what carl's jr. is.  it's on the news.  it's on "the tonight show."  it's around the water cooler at work.  you can't pay for that much attention!  love it! :)

and brooks & dunn on "the today show" talking about how their trophies from the acms were kidnapped while they were at the afterparty and are now being held for ransom is awesome!  they're hilarious!  and i'm sure it's someone(in country music)'s practical joke, and that's how the guys were treating it, but then matt was asking them serious questions.  it was all like a spoof of an actual news interview.  i think it was great, and i cannot wait to hear who's responsible for all of this!

and i never wrote about "american idol" last night!  oops!  i was tired by the time i got around to writing, i guess.  well, i knew during auditions that carrie would win this thing, just as liz.  (even if i did really abandon the show while "nashville star" was on)  so that's that.  and then, i was pleasantly surprised by the beach boys medley at the start.  :)  love them!  haha!  and then, of course, rascal flatts singing "bless the broken road" was the major highlight of the show!  ::sigh:: they're the best.

ok, must go to work!

wednesday 25 may 2005 10:50pm

"i can see us chasin' the sun
wide open where we can breathe
we don't have to be anywhere or anyone we don't wanna be
oh baby, just you and me
for all i care they can eat my dust
we're goin' where they can't find us
ride to the edge of the world
free birds listenin' to merle
all the wya there
with the wind in my hair
i wanna ride no other highway in town
never ever turn back around
oil tike this bike's got ways to fly
and all i wanna do is ride" -- shelly fairchild "ride"

it's been a full day, if i do say so myself. :)  in a good way, i do think.

work this morning was a bit slow, but that also left time to chat about things like eyebrows and hairdos and weddings with melissa, marina, and jan.  :)  and i did a bit of actual work, as well.  and after a lunch (that i quickly spilled on myself), it was back to work work.  i began the next set of figures for rtc.  and john invited me to go sailing agian tomorrow, but i told him it was too soon.  i'm still recovering from last week's adventure.  but i'll be on that boat again, for sure.

and after work, i came home and finished my little artist project.  i finished my 10 paintings, and they're just about ready to hang.  (as soon as i get around to putting some nails in these walls)  but i like how they turned out, and i am just trying to determine the best way to photograph them so that i can show them via the internet, as well.  shouldn't be too hard if i can get some proper lighting.  but they're done.  they were definitely inspired by the abstract expressionists, though i'm not sure i quite have the talent of rothko, the talent to make people weep when they view my "art."  but they'll make nice decoration at the very least.

and then i put the graduation photos up on the website.  there are a lot, but i'm sure someone will enjoy them! :)  there are a few that i absolutely love!

and now it's time for me to get some rest!  i'm so tired!

tuesday 24 may 2005 10:48pm

"you speak and it's like a song
and just like that all my walls come down
it's like a private joke just meant for us to know
i relate to you naturally
everybody else just fades away
sometimes it's hard to breathe
just knowing you found me
'cause i start thinking about it
i almost forgot what it was like
to know what love feels right
'cause with you
i can let my hair down
i can say anything crazy
i know you'll catch me right before i hit the ground
with nothing but a t-shirt on
i never felt so beautiful
baby, as i do now
now that i'm with you
with you
come and take me
love, you save me
like nobody else
now i can be myself
with you" -- jessica simpson "with you"

i've heard this songs lots of times before last night, but last night i heard it and thought of someone and i just really wanted to put these words here, cheezy as they may be. :)

today was pretty good, i'd say.  here's just a short recap because i'm sleepy and need to go to bed and am feeling a bit like an old person and am also worried that i'm wearing out my hands as far as computer-use goes.

work was good.  pretty relaxed, as i was just looking for photos for future covers of cots.  it was quiet around the office with tim and marke out.

i went with jenna and melissa after work to workout by walking up and down the stairs at salt creek beach.  surfers use them, as well, which proved to be a nice little side-benefit. ;)  and it was a beautiful evening at the beach, which makes having to work out a whole lot easier.  why people live more than 8 minutes from a beach, i will probably never again understand.

i spent my night working on the grad photos.  they are nearly ready to go up.  they just need to get ftp-ed so that everything works right.  but they're all touched up and i have descriptions written and all that.  soon!  maybe tomorrow or thursday.

and i watched "american idol," which was decent.  really, i'm more exciting about tomorrow's show because rascal flatts will be performing my favorite, "bless the broken road."  love that song, if it also often makes me tear up a bit. :)

now i'm off to bed before another day of work.  good night, all!

monday 23 may 2005 10:15pm

"from the very fist time that i touched you babe
couldn't find the words to say
you set me free
and everytime that i kiss your lips
nothing ever tasted quite like this
what got so deep
see i don't give a damn
what my homies say
don't matter anyway
see i've never ever felt this way before
you always leave me wanting more...
you're the sunshine of my day
you brighten up my life
you take a piece of me with you
everytime you say goodbye" -- brian mcknight "everytime you go away"

what gives brian mcknight the right to make up the word "everytime" when "every time" is really what he means, i do not know.  the song was catchy, though.

i had a crazy dream between alarm #1 and alarm #2 today.  seriously nuts.  and it involved an odd mix of people and locations and everything.  anyway, it kind of threw me for a loop when i was just getting out of bed on a monday morning.  but anyway, i got dressed and headed out to work.

work was busy today.  lots of images to clean up, which it work, though not especially rewarding and very tiring.  but i managed. :)  and i went out to lunch with jenna, jan, melissa, and leah to san clemente pizza company, which was fun!  it was all of us just hanging out like it was normal, and i liked that. and eventually we went back to work for the rest of the afternoon.

this evening, i stopped by michaels before heading home to pick up some supplies for my little project tonight.  and then headed home. :)  tonight, after fixing a little dinner, i put on "sex and the city" and then the nick and jessica special while i painted.  on canvases.  as if i were a real artist!  i'm actually working on some "art" to put up in the apartment to break up these gray walls.  tonight was round 1, and all 10 (yeah, i know that sounds like a lot but they're not that big and i have a lot of wall) now have some color on them.  tomorrow or one of these days, i will finish them up.  and i'd never painted real paintings before.  it was fun!

so that is about all from me tonight.  i'm just relaxing in front of the tv now, which is an excellent way to wind down a monday.

sunday 22 may 2005 10:41pm

"the two of us together felt nothin' but right
feeling you near immortal every friday night
lost in our convictions left stained with wine
as the sun sank west of the mendocino county line
i have these pictures and i keep these photographs
to remind me of a time
these pictures and these photographs
let me know i'm doin' fine" -- willie nelson with lee ann womack "mendocino county line"

i spent my morning "unpacking."  i put that in quotation marks because i was actually unpacking things but this place is more of a mess than when i started so i don't feel like i made any actual forward progress.  but maybe.  it'll come together eventually.  i just need to focus and do it.  i also wrote some cards and worked on the graduation photos some more.  i'm still not quite done, but i'm getting there.  it's a lot of work, and i think i'll be acquiring more photos soon, so that'll be wonderful but also more work. :)  but i'll get them up as soon as i can.

and then i decided that i'd go to the beach.  it's a good place to think and to read and to just sit still for a little bit on a sunday afternoon.  it was a beautiful day here, but as soon as i got to dana point, i hit a wall of fog.  i went to the beach anyway and sat and read and watched the waves crash.  it was perfect, even if i left no more tan than when i arrived.

and then i spent sunday night quietly at home.  the giants-as game was on espn, so i watched that (go giants!) and did some more straightening.  i ordered a pizza, and it came all the way to my door without incident.  and the exciting part was that i had a zillion pizza places to choose from!  this week, it was papa johns.  next time... who knows? ;)  love that!  and then i curled up on the couch with the nail polish and remote control for my sunday night activity.  tv and mani/pedi!  of course, i started while turning on the last half hour of "extreme makeover: home edition."  who lets me turn this show on?!?  that was kind of a disaster, but i'm ok now that i've watched "desperate housewives" and "grey's anatomy."  :)

saturday 21 may 2005 10:53pm

"so if i stumble, if i fall
forgive me, i'm just learning as i go along
see me through, see me through
this aching heart has come so far
to be with you, see me through
with angel eyes, just look inside
at all this love i never want to lose
see me through
i know sometimes i let you down
but i'm still getting used to having you around
and if i ever make you cry
there's nothing i won't do to make things right
i'm not perfect and that's for sure
a little time is all i'm asking for" -- rascal flatts "see me through"

i know i owe a big fat update on what's been going on the past three days, so here it comes.  i hope it does these days justice, because they've been quite good.

work has been good. :)  yesterday, my first ever magaizne, "cots," went to print!  this is so exciting, and i cannot wait to see an actual copy.  my work.  for thousands of people to see.  i love it!  oh, and there have also been dart games, lunches out, and all sorts of fun.  things are good!

thursday night was a fully-oc, totally new, thoroughly adventurous evening.  thursday turned out so differently than i had anticipated.  i went sailing.  and not just cruising around the ocean sailing, but competitive, sitting on the edge of the boat so it doesn't fully turn on its side sailing.  the president of rtc, john, invited me to go with him and some other co-workers to sail out of dana point harbor.  apparently, he owns a boat and races it on thursday evenings.  it's his hobby.  of course.  so we went down to the harbor after work, and i climbed aboard the boat barefoot (because that's what happens when you wear work-appropriate footwear to work).  and we sailed.  and i mean "we" because i was pulling ropes and climbing on the front of the boat to pull the sail inside the railing when we switched which side it was on.  it was intense and crazy, and the wind was really blowing.  john said this was the fastest he'd ever seen this boat move!  and i am banged up a little bit, but i had a wonderful time!  sailing!  i had no idea i'd ever do that on a thursday evening.

yesterday after work, i headed towards anaheim for a night of fun.  it was really my last chance to hang with sarah before she moves to syracuse, so we met at disneyland. there was dinner, rides, a wonderful fireworks show, ice cream, and lots of fun.  i do love that place!  we closed the park down, and said goodbye and headed our separate directions.  it was a blast and the perfect way to spend a warm friday night. :)

and today was mostly spent on my couch, watching tv (including horse racing, for some reason) and working on cleaning up the graduation photos.  i eventually got myself cleaned up and headed out, though.  i discovered a huge shopping center only a few minutes from here with a 20-screen movie theatre, a barnes and noble, restaurants (including a macaroni grill), and lots of other things.  i am sure i'll be spending more time there.  today, i went to see "monster-in-law," which was funny.  also, michael vartan was absolutely adorable in it! :)  and then i wandered around the bookstore and may have found myself a little bit more reading material.  it was a good way to spend a saturday afternoon.

and now i'm watching the elvis movie i taped last week, featuring celebrity boyfriend jonathan rhys meyers.  love him, too! :)  so things are good out in laguna.  tomorrow... not sure but maybe the beach!

wednesday 18 may 2005 9:47pm

"and one day waking up, oh, in a real love
whoa, in a real love" -- phil vassar "in a real love"

so i realize that those aren't a whole lot of lyrics and probably not as interesting as what i normally post, but it's one of those songs that means a lot to me, even if the words (in their entirety) don't necessarily apply to me.  i mean, i tend to love songs that i really relate to, but i love this song because of what was happening in my life when i heard it.  and today at work melissa and i were talking about how a song can come on and completely transport you to another place and time and how we love that about music.  so anyway, i was having a bad moment tonight in the albertsons parking lot and this song came on the radio and it brought a smile to my face. :)  that's why these are tonight's lyrics.

work has been wonderful.  and magnetic dart boards need to be in more places.  i'm not good by any stretch of the imagination, but i did get one to actually stick to the back of the board.  top that! ;)  haha!  and actually, it's all about luck for me, as proved by my sequence of a dart bouncing off the top of the board and to the ground and the next dart coming within millimeters of the bullseye.  yeah, baby!  oh, and i did some work, as well.

and tonight was supposed to be relaxing but turned out to be far from that.  i can't get into the gym because no one actually set that up when they were supposed to when i moved in (18 days ago).  i called, was assured it was fixed, and it still doesn't work.  i did get into the gym by waiting for someone else to let me in, though.  (it's just like the mac lab in the ccb.  i'll never have proper access.)  anyway, then i came back to the apartment and tried to do laundry.  3 loads of laundry, 3 hours, $24, and one trip to the bank later, i might be about 15 minutes from having clean clothes.  this is too hard.

so i sit with a whole host of thank you cards to write, emails to send, and boxes to unpack.  at least this couch is comfortable and "sex and the city" is on my tv.

tuesday 17 may 2005 10:52pm

"not a day goes by that i don't think of you
after all this time you're still with me it's true
somehow you remain locked so deep inside
baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by" -- lonestar "not a day goes by"

it's been good!  :)  work has been wonderful!  i put together 22 pages of this month's 84-page magazine.  and it's also been fun hanging out with everyone there.

and i built my bookshelves and have now started putting things on them, though not very orderly at this point.  it's way too much building these things and moving them all around and everything.  but the apartment is feeling a little bit more settled.  i just need to work on getting the huge cardboard boxes out to the dumpsters, getting everything unpacked finally, organizing everything, and hanging some things on the walls.  not so much work, right?  riiight...

and tonight were the acm awards.  i love country music.  keith won a pair, rascal flatts won, kenny won.  it was awesome!  they gave out like 5 awards, and there were nearly 20 performances, including faith hill doing her new song, which i love.

i thought i had more to write.  apparently not.  so i'm going to bed so i can be a grown up and go to work tomorrow morning.

sunday 15 may 2005 10:29pm

"moonlight on a duck blind
catfish on a trot line
sun sets about nine this time of year
we can throw a blanket down
crickets singing in the background
and more stars than you can count on a night this clear
i tell you what we need to do
is grab a sleeping bag or two
and build us a little campfire
and then with a little luck
we might just get stuck
let's get a little mud on the tires
'cause it's a good night
to be out there soaking up the moonlight
stake out a little piece of shoreline
i've got the perfect place in mind
it's in the middle of nowhere
only one way to get there
you gotta get a little mud on the tires" -- brad paisley "mud on the tires"

as i woke up (late) this sunday morning, i realized i could hear something out of the ordinary.  and it took me a few moments to realize what exactly it was.  it was someone (i think a man) watching some sort of church services on tv really loud and singing along with the music really poorly.  i found it all very humorous, if also slightly annoying at 10am.

i lazed around for a bit this morning before getting my act together and heading out to laguna beach to check it out.  yesterday was gorgeous, so i was hoping for more of the same.  well, i hit a wall of fog on my way out there, so the beach wasn't so nice.  i chekced it out a little bit, and then kept driving to newport.  still foggy.  i eventually headed back to my apartment.

this afternoon, all my ikea furniture was delivered!  yay for having a couch to lie on while i type and watch "grey's anatomy!"  so i put the slipcovers on my couch and chair.  and i started assembling my tv stand.  tomorrow, there will be more building, i am sure.  the bookcases and a pair of drawers await.

and i spent my evening eating dinner, watching "desperate housewives" and "grey's anatomy," and giving myself and much-needed pedicure.  :)  it's been a good sunday!

saturday 14 may 2005 11:31pm

"it's a long way from star, mississippi
to the big stage i'm singing on tonight
and sometimes butterflies still get me
when i'm in the spotlight
and some people seem to think that i've changed
that i'm different than i was back then
but in my soul i know that i'm the same way
and i've really always been
'cause a mississippi girl don't change her ways
just 'cause everybody knows her name
ain't big-headed from a little bit of fame
i still like wearing my old ball cap
ride my kids around piggy back
they might know me around the world
but y'all i'm still a mississippi girl" -- faith hill "mississippi girl"

my first week of work went really, really well!  i am really enjoying my job, as well as the company i am working for and the people i work with.  things there are going great, and i've already put together several magazine pages.  plus, i beat mark(e?) at darts yesterday, so he owes me a slurpee.  rawk!

there was a "laguna beach" marathon on mtv last night.  i didn't know that until there were only a few episodes left, which is a bummer, but i watched what i could.  i do <3 that show!  and now that i live here, i might figure out what the cool places to go are.

today i got my proper refrigerator (finally!).  it makes ice and everything!  and it almost fits in the space created for it.  so i guess it's ok that i had to wait around for a few hours today for that to be delivered.

i also took care of some errands, like grocery shopping and mailing out some things today.  you know, just errands.

and tonight, i went on yet another excursion looking for furniture.  i stopped at cost plus and macys home store before yet again going to ikea.  this time, though, i finally decided what i wanted and just went for it.  i took home some side tables and pillows tonight, and tomorrow, bookcases, a tv stand, a couch, and a chair will be delivered to my apartment!  yay!  finally! :)  i won't have to sit on the floor any longer.  i actually already put together the things i brought home with me tonight because i know i'll have a whole lot more to do tomorrow night.

and i have started to take advantage of my fancy digital cable! :)  i watched "a cinderella story" on tv this afternoon.  granted, i actually have this movie on dvd, but i did watch it on some hbo channel.  haha!  oh, man.

so things in laguna are good. :)

thursday 12 may 2005 10:43pm

"we else am i gon' lean on
when times get rough
who's gonna talk to me on the phone
'til the sun comes up
who's gonna take your place
there ain't nobody better
oh, baby baby, we belong together" -- mariah carey "we belong together"

alright, so the whole song's a bit cheezy, but there's something about mariah that brings me back to my younger years.  and i like that.  (i sound like such an old person.)  anyway, so this is her new song.

so it was my first thursday of work, and it was a good one.  the morning was no so interesting, as i just made lots of clipping paths around photos of computer parts, but things got more exciting from there.  a mid-day staples run was in order because i didn't have a calendar and apparently needed one urgently.  so i got a calendar (and scissors) and have not actually used either yet.  yet. ;)  and then i had lunch in the kitchen with everyone else (pb&j and ice cream) and then got back to work.  i put together first first 3 magazine pages ever!!!  well, they're nearly done, anyway.  and i have a few more to do tomorrow, as well.  it's very cool!

and i drove home along pch tonight.  it was a gorgeous day and a gorgeous drive, and i'm so thoroughly stoked that i can still make that my commute route.  why do people live anywhere but close to pch? ;)

and it's been a tv and phone night, yet again.  "the o.c." while in the o.c.  weird.  and "the apprentice" without a winner.  and the phone with sarah for a long time.  it's been a wonderful time!  and now i'm ready for bed.

wednesday 11 may 2005 10:12pm

"i, i can't read the future
but i still want to hold you close
right now, i need that from you
so give me the morning
sharing another day with you
is all i want to know
and baby, i've tried to forget you
but the light of your eyes
still shines like an angel
a spirit that won't let me go" -- jon secada "angel"

so far so good! :)

i am meant to be at work each morning around 9.  if i show up at 9, i'm likely the only person there, but such is the timeliness of an art department.  so i show up at 9, because that's just how i am.  and i work away.  so far, i've just been working on art to go into one of the magazines (cots).  tomorrow, i get to start assembling part of the magazine, and it's all quite exciting!  i've been enjoying myself a lot so far.  and i tend to lose track of time -- in the good way -- working in illustrator and photoshop all day.

and i've been spending evenings cleaning up this apartment, unpacking as much as possible without all the necessary pieces of furniture, and shopping for furniture.  i haven't actually purchased any furniture, but i'll get to that quickly.  at least, i hope so.

i taped the two-part elvis movie featuring jonathan rhys meyers, and i fully intend on watching that one of these days, perhaps this weekend.

i have all of mom's graduation photos, so i'll be working on getting those cleaned up and on the web for all of you.  it's going to take awhile, though, because there are more than 100 of them.  oh, and i'm still waiting on photos from other people as well, particularly auntie joyce.  i like the ones that i've seen thus far, though, and i'll get those to you soon!

monday 9 may 2005 10:29pm

today was my first day of work.  i cannot believe it.  i never could imagine myself as an actual grown-up and really, i don't think that i am still.  but here it goes.  here comes my life.  the job was really good.  pch is still a part of my pretty short commute.  i got started working on images for one of the magazines.  and i got taken to lunch, along with 8 other people.  and so it's pretty good! :)

and i'm still in search of furniture.  it's not really fun.  but for now my belongings remain unpacked on the floor and all over the place. i'll get to unpacking eventually, i'm sure.  it's so messy that it'll quickly drive me crazy.

and i'm tired.  just trying to get myself on a slightly more grown-up sleep schedule.  more soon.

sunday 8 may 2005 11:05pm

moved to laguna niguel and out of malibu.
i have my own apartment.  i live alone.  and i have no furniture for my living room.  everything is still in boxes or scattered around the floor.  but i do love this apartment.  it's going to be wonderful as soon as i get settled in.

pepperdine men's volleyball rocks my world.
2005 national champions!!!  i love these guys, and i have since i started at pepperdine.  and now they have fulfilled all the dreams i had for the team.  and they did it in pauley pavilion against ucla.  and i got to attend!  i was there!  when we won!  it was awesome and i was jumping up and down and screaming (with liz on the phone, too)!  and it was so worth the drive all the way up from oc.

sarah came to be my first visitor.
sarah's amazing, and she came down in the afternoon to come visit me.  we hung out and unpacked a few things.  and we went to mimi's for dinner.  it was so much fun, and i really appreciate that she came all the way down here to see me.  she's so cool!

work starts tomorrow (thus me going to bed as early as possible).

saturday 7 may 2005 12:39am

"you know i can't be like everybody
'cause i can't tell you what you want to hear
i don't know if i can make it better
all i know is i will be around
tell me everything you need now, anything at all
and i will be the one who's waiting anytime you fall
yeah, when you come undone
when you come undone" -- lifehouse "undone"

just a quick update so that i can actually get some rest.

i was hanging out here this morning.  well, what i saw of morning.  i slept in, did some laundry, watched the rerun of last night's waves volleyball game, things like that.  it was good. :)

and then the volleyball players' moms and dads came over to see the apartment that they're paying for their boys to live in.  they were all very nice, so that was fine.

and then i went to the volvo dealer.  after a lot of hassle and angry phone calls, my car is now how it should be.  finally.  for the first time in 2 months. :)

and then i had dinner with sarah at spumonis, my last time for awhile.  i had the gnocchi because that seemed appropriate and was also delicious.  oh, and the free tiramisu tonight was chocolate.  life doesn't get much better that that!

and then sarah and i tried to go to ikea in burbank.  it was hard to get there, but we did it with 15 minutes to spare.  and we spent about 45 minutes in there.  they're not so strict about their closing time there.  and then we considered seeing a movie, but there wasn't anything good playing at the theatre by the ikea.  and we got really lost getting back home, so we got the full tour of los angeles.  but we made it eventually, thanks to her dad.

and now my dad, aunt, and uncle are here.

this is my last night as a malibu resident (at least for awhile).  i'm going to miss this place a lot.  but tomorrow, i'll be in a whole new beautiful beach town.

thursday 5 may 2005 11:58pm

"i hope that you can find your way back
to the place where you belong
when you come back down
if you land on your feet
i hope you find a way to make it back to me
when you come around
i'll be there for you
don't have to be alone with that you're going through
you're coming back down
you say you feel lost, i can help you find it
when you come around
from time to time we are all blinded
you're coming back down
you don't have to tell me what you're feeling
i know what you're going through
i won't be the one that lets go of you" -- lifehouse "come back down"

the thing about driving down pch in malibu on a rainy day is that the whole city smells like the beach.  a lot.  that salty smell that i love so much because it reminds me of the beach.  so at least there was that little perk from the rain today.

my phone rang at 8:30 this morning.  what's worse that receiving a call at that hour?  receiving an automated call at that hour.  that's right, it was a machine calling me and it provided absolutely no new information.  super.  so i was up early.  i decided that watching "collateral" would be a good way to spend my morning, so i did.  and i really liked the movie, especially jamie foxx's character.  it's an interesting action movie.

and this afternoon, i headed out in the gloomy weather.  i headed towards westwood.  i don't even know the last time i was out there, though i'm sure i'll see more of it this summer with katherine being there.  anyway, tonight was the final four of men's volleyball!  :)  and of course, the amazingly awesome pepperdine team was involved!  so i drove out there, found my way (for the first time ever) into pauley pavilion, and enjoyed some volleyball.  i met up with josh and his friends during the ucla-penn st. match.  i was sort of rooting for penn st., but ucla prevailed easily.  and then it was time for the waves to take on ohio st.  volleyball.  in ohio.  really? ;)  actually, the waves won 3-0 (30-16, 31-29, 31-26)!  and it was a lot of fun!  and there were a lot of pepp fans there.  so saturday night, the waves take on ucla for the national championship!  go waves!  i <3 the men's volleyball team!!!

and now i'm back home enjoying leno and thinking about how i might start packing tomorrow. ;)

wednesday 4 may 2005 11:11pm (make a wish!)

"don't look no farther
baby, i'm back, yeah
i'm here to cater to you
anything that you want me do i'll do it
'cause i'll be your lover, i'll be your lover
i'll be you best friend
tell me what i gotta do
tell me what i gotta do and i'll do it" -- baby bash "babay i'm back"

what can i say?  i'm totally a sucker for a cheezy pop song. :)

so i didn't update yesterday.  i actually didn't do all that much, but that's sort of what a week off should be like, don't you think? :)  mom woke me when she called at 11.  i eventually got up and hung around the apartment for a bit.  then i went to the valley, ran a couple errands, and bought a refrigerator.  buying appliances makes me for sure feel like a grown up.  and let me just say that refrigerators are pretty low on the list of things i like to shop for.  it's white.  it'll keep my food cold.  it's going to be delivered to my new apartment.  that's all i needed, really.

i heard from several long-lost friends yesterday, which was awesome! :)  it's amazing what an email to everyone i know will do! ;)  haha!

and i spent all night going through the ikea catalogue trying to figure out what i should put in my new apartment, particularly the living room.  i still haven't really decided, but perhaps i'm closer.

and today was more of me just hanging out.  i decided that one reason it's fun to live alone is because i can put on whatever ridiculous shoes i want and walk around the apartment.  right now, i'm in pajamas and 4" heels. :)  so anyway, i hung around in the apartment all morning.  but i eventually got everything worked out so that i could bring the mustang back to hertz and pick up my own car, newly repaired.  so i did that.  and then i went and got a cell phone for myself.  the old one broke, so it was time for an upgrade.

and now i'm back home just relaxing.  i enjoy the quite time really.  oh, and i watched "p.s.," which i really, really enjoyed! :)  good film.  that's about all from me for now.

tuesday 2 may 2005 12:27am

"you gotta be out there
you gotta be somewhere
wherever you are
i'm waiting
'cause there are these nights when
i sing myself to sleep
and i'm hopin' my dreams
bring you close to me
are you listening
hear me
i'm crying out
i'm ready now
turn my world upside down
find me
i'm lost inside the crowd
it's getting loud
in need you to see
i'm screaming for you to please
hear me" -- kelly clarkson "hear me"

the mustang and i cruised on down to laguna niguel this morning, and this trip for sure included really loud music.  it started off with julie roberts and then moved on to josh gracin and kelly clarkson.  oh, it was a good time! :)

i needed to be at my new apartment from noon to four because the cable/internet/phone guy was coming to get that hooked up and the gas guy was coming to turn that on.  someone had to be there to open the door, you know.  anyway, i discovered that there's a baja fresh in the shopping center next to my apartment, so i stopped there to pick up lunch.  then i brought it to my apartment, sat on the floor, and ate it.  because that's how it works when you don't have any furniture at all.  at least it was delicious!  and the cable and gas guys both came.  i have internet.  i have way more cable than i've ever had before in my life.  my fireplace turns on with the press of a button.  all seemed well, so i headed back to malibu.

i only got a few miles before traffic came to a halt.  at 3:30 in the afternoon.  luckily, there was an ikea right there, so i got off the freeway and went there.  i'm going to need to invest in a few more pieces of furniture in the near future, so it seemed like a good idea to wander around there for a bit and wait out la traffic.  so i picked up their (phonebook-sized) catalogue and also browsed the entire store.  this takes hours, in case you've never done it before.  i found some interesting stuff and i'm sure i'll find more as i look through the catalogue in the coming days.

i eventually headed back to malibu, stopping at blockbuster and ralphs on my way home.  snacks and movies will keep me happy the next couple of days, right? :)

and now i'm just watching late night tv, because that's my fave and i have nothing at all to do tomorrow. :)  it's fun!  so that's what's up.

sunday 1 may 2005 11:24pm

"i can remember all the things you've said
i hear your sweet voice talking in my heard
i'm a mississippi girl, know i won't forget it
but if i don't stay here i know i'm going to regret it
mama, i can come home but i can't stay long
gotta make a little money tryin' to sing my song
my heart's still there even though i'm gone
i've put my roots deep in the ground of that tiny town
i feel your arms around me like it's yesterday
i'm still daddy's little girl and i won't go away
you know that i'm a dreamer and i've gotta do this, gotta do this
but know that i wish
that i could come home
i just can't stay long
gotta make a little money tryin' to sing my songs
my heart's still there even though i'm gone
i put my roots deep in the ground
of that tiny town" -- shelly fairchild "tiny town"

this is quite the important update, no?  i'll do my best, but i'm also not really quite sure what to say.

well, yesterday was the big day.  graduation day.  wow.  so i put on dress #1, made sure that my hair was under control (or as under control as it ever gets) and headed out to school.  i had to be there an hour and a half before the ceremony started to receive my blue cord for graduation magna cum laude and find my seat.  and i found some friends to congratulate, as well. :)

the ceremony was good.  it was hot sitting in the sun in my cap and gown waiting forever to get my diploma, but i survived.  that's what i get for having wyatt as a last name.  i walked across the stage, my name was read, president benton told me i had an excellent record, and at no point did i trip. :)  i consider it a success!

and then the family and i hung out in alumni park afterwards so that mom and auntie joyce could take zillions of photos.  it's what they do. :)  i want to get my hands on those photos asap so i can get them on this site, but they're not on my own camera so i know it'll take longer than i would like.  it was a beautiful day for the graduation, though, thankfully.

and then i came back to my apartment (in my hott car) with meg and adam and retrieved dress #2 and re-did my hair.  a mortarboard can do bad things to a girl's hair, you know! ;)  and then it was off to woodland hills to catch up with sarah's family at a reception.  we hung out, watched some nascar, and whatever.  it was nice.

and then my whole family and sarah's whole family headed to maggianos for dinner, while sarah and i had to make a brief stop at her apartment for a wardrobe change.  this is when dress #2 went on. :)

dinner at maggianos was wonderful!  there was a ton of food, all of which sarah and i selected a few weeks back, and it was quite tasty.  highlights were the ravioli (my favorite thing at maggianos) and the chocolate cake. :)  and i opened a few presents, including a beautiful necklace from the parents and a scrapbook from sarah filled with photos of the two of us.  it was a wonderful celebration!

and then the family headed to santa monica for the night, and meg and i came back here to catch some sleep before another big day.

liz moved out this morning.  i now officially live alone, which is kind of crazy.

dad picked up meg and me around 10:30, and we brought meg to the airport (which was a zoo!) on our way down to laguna niguel.  i picked up the keys to my new place and then headed back to malibu.

this afternoon, mrs. nickerson brought the pepperdine men's volleyball team boys who are renting our apartment after i move out.  i totally knew who they were, and they found out i'm a fan when they saw the men's volleyball magnet on our fridge. :)  rawk!  they were actually really nice and we chatted.

and this evening, sarah came over and we watched the kings game and "desperate housewives."  it was fun to just hang out with her for a few hours.

and now i'm off to bed.  my eyes are tired!

friday 29 april 2005 11:39pm

"and when you laugh, be sure to laugh out loud
'cause it will carry all your cares away
and when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
and it will help you feel okay
and when you pray, pray for strength to help carry on
when the troubles come your way
and when you dream, dream big
as big as the ocean blue
'cause when  you dream it might come true
when you dream, dream big" -- ryan shupe and the rubber band "dream big"

alright.  the graduation extravaganza has officially started!  and so far, so good.

so i got up this morning and headed over to campus to pick up my cap and gown.  a cap and gown.  wow.  and it's black, so i can wear something non-white underneath.  for the first time ever, i recently realized.  i wore white to both my st. charles and notre dame graduations.  actually, there were very strict guidelines for the ndb graduation, including a white outfit, nude nylons, white shoes, and white gloves.  because we were so closely inspected, i am still waiting for someone to give me really close guidelines about what to wear tomorrow.  hasn't happened yet. :)  but i do have an outfit all picked out (and a whole other one for dinner, because that's not ridiculous at all).

then i met up with mom, dad, adam, and auntie nancy, and we went down the road to spruzzos for a pizza lunch.  and then they headed to their hotel in santa monica, and i headed back to my apartment.  i wasn't exactly sure what i should do with myself in an empty apartment, so i made a few phone calls to friends -- had to share all the excitement of my life with them -- and took my sweet time getting ready for an afternoon and evening of graduation activities.  i put on my cute anthropologie skirt, which i got lots of compliments on today, so i guess that was a good decision. :)  oh, it's fun to put on something cute to wear.

then i met the whole family (mom, dad, adam, auntie nancy, auntie lily, uncle ken, theresa, auntie joyce, jason, and brenda) at school for the communication division reception.  that was kind of nice, and i won the award (presented by debbie) for outstanding advertising major, and sarah won for outstanding communications graduate (or something like that -- the highest award for the division).

and then it was all the way down the mountain to the fieldhouse for the baccalaureate service, which was not particularly interesting.  there was singing and a long speech and someone called katie told me about how God speaks to her... by name.

then mom, dad, and i went back up to main campus for a banquet.  the dinner was eatable, and some of the speakers were good.  it went a little longer than necessary, but it was still cool.  plus, there wasn't assigned seating, so my family and liz's family all got to sit together.  we like that there was no awkward conversation with strangers. :)

and then it was over to elkins for the last pit show.  we met adam and auntie nancy there.  it was hilarious!  so good ! :)  i love pit, and i'm going to miss it.  and i got to stop and chat with wednesday for a minute afterwards.

so tomorrow's the big day.  graduation.  i'll be in the malibu sunshine for a few hours wearing a really attractive black gown and the most flattering hat ever.  at least i'm a hat person!  :)  but it's going to take a little magic to get my hair looking decent in the morning.  i'll manage. :)  i should get some rest!  good night!

thursday 28 april 2005 11:18pm

"he was a tall drink of water
blue eyes, sandy blonde hair
she was a girl from a different world
oh, but he didn’t care
'cause with the way that her words
danced from her lips
it was music to his ears
and he never felt that way before
and now he wonders if he ever will again
'cause she’s not the kind you get over
she’s not the kind easily left behind
no, she’s not the kind you get over
maybe with a little time
but oh, she’s not that kind
and oh, she’s not that kind" -- jayron weaver "she's not that kind"

alright, so i already miss my beloved third season of "nashville star."  so sad!  ;)  but i had a bit of extra time on my hands today because i don't actually have that much to do right now, so i got online and started streaming videos of the show, and of my favorite jayron weaver, in particular. :)  and this was the original song he performed.  and i cannot wait for him to actually become famous so that i can hear the full song.  but for now, here are the lyrics because i thought it was a cool song.

so after a night of lots of rain, it was a gorgeous morning in malibu!  i met my comm ethics class at diedrich's coffee this morning, and we all sat outside.  it was wonderful to spend my morning sitting in the sunshine, coffee in hand.  :)  we mostly just hung out and chatted and whatever.  it was a good finals period, and my last!

then i came home and did a lot of nothing.  i read the second half of the latest meg cabot book, called "every boy's got one."  it was fun!  it's exactly like the romantic comedy movies i like, except in book form. :)

i took a nap because... well... why not? :)

i cleaned my room a bit because the family is all coming into town tomorrow and i figured that i should at least straighten up a little bit.  the rest of the apartment is in a state of disarray because all of liz's stuff is packed up so she can move out this weekend.  i can see the floor in my room now, and there aren't so many shoes strewn about for me to trip on.

and it was mani/pedi day!  that seemed like a good way to spend the day before all the graduation festivities start up.  pink to match what i'll be wearing (or at least wearing part of the time, as there are multiple outfits involved in all the graduation activities). :)

i'm not really sure what else i did today.  not a whole lot.  :)  but it was good.

tomorrow includes picking up caps and gowns, seeing the family for the first time in forever, receptions, services, dinners, things like that.  oh, and my pink skirt! :)

thursday 28 april 2005 1:21am

"there's a melody in my head
and i ain't stopped humming it since i saw your face
there's a feeling i can't forget
it started with you kissing me that way
and there's no end in sight
like an oklahoma wheat field growing
you got my heart in motion, gone
i'm the pinks and you're the reds
just like the sunset, we belong
and there's no end in sight
how high is the sky
how long is time
with you is how i'm spending mine
like there's no end in sight
i wanna laugh, i wanna live
i'm gonna love you like there is
like there is no end in sight" -- katrina elam "no end in sight"

it's raining right now and i'm happy about it.  you know that happens pretty much never.  however, it is good news because this is the storm that was originally meant to hit on saturday and i won't have any rain on saturday.  i'll have none of it!  the whole reason i went to pepperdine is so that i can graduate on the lawn in alumni park overlooking the ocean.  we're doing it outside.  and that's final. ;)

so my college career is totally done and over and complete.  at least for now.  who knows what the future will hold, right?  anyway, i took my first, last, and only final this morning in my creative class.  it went fine.  it was a lot of writing, but i think i did pretty well.  and then i went down to main campus to turn in my dusty rhoads project.  finally! :)  it's totally done, i got my a, and i'm stoked!  i still think that writing the liner notes for dusty rhoads's album, "and the sunset," was the best part of that entire project.  i want to be a rock star! ;)

then i came home and i had nothing in particular to do!  and it was fantastic!  i dozed off for a bit (after getting only a few hours of sleep last night, i figure that it's acceptable).  and i read a fashion magazine that's been sitting around my apartment for far too long without me opening it.

i eventually took my hott car out and headed up to woodland hills to hang out with sarah. :)  i loaded it up with cds and enjoyed the stereo a bit.  it gets louder when that engine gets louder.   yeah, baby! ;)  sarah and i found some sunshine and then found some dinner.  we brought pizza back to her apartment and sat around watching tv and chatting and all that.  it felt like a friday night, except that it was only wednesday.

and now i'm finally back at home and ready to crash.  i have coffee with debbie in the morning and that's about it.  should be a good day tomorrow... :)

wednesday 27 april 2005 12:45am

"all that you're needing is someone to believe in you
and when you are no longer afraid
darlin' i'll be just one word way
say when, i'll be there by your side
for a day, for a year, for the rest of my life
i know you're not ready
but someday your heart's gonna mend
i'll give you love without end
say when
could be tomorrow, maybe a little farther down the road
your heart will know
my love is timeless and you're gonna find it's true
and no matter how long it takes
if i means holding you, i can wait" -- lonestar "say when"

i was up early this morning so that i could make it to my graphic arts final by 10:30.  nevermind the fact that i was meant to get up super duper early to bring my car to the body shop but that in the wee hours of the morning when i still found myself awake i decided that that trip could wait until the afternoon.  anyway, i went to graphic arts.  we turned in our final projects -- book covers -- and also presented the printed versions to the class.  it was very informal and took less than an hour, so it was no big deal.

then i came back home and took care of a few little chores.  fun stuff! ;)  haha!  or not fun.

then i headed out to the valley to bring my car to the body shop.  that was not a big deal at all.  then the guy from hertz picked me up and brought me to their office so i could get my rental car.  chevy aveo.  but then, he offered me an '05 mustang for $5.  um, yeah.  so i'll be cruising all around in a brand new mustang for about a week! :)  bright yellow so i can't do anything too crazy in it, but it's still fun!  oh, man!  this was a fun little surprise today!

then i came home and did some studying for my final tomorrow.  creative.  it's my only (and therefore last) final!  it was during my studying that i discovered that there's a problem (yes, again) with the septic tank, which means no water.  super.  so i went on with the studying until sarah came over.

sarah and i hung out for a bit before heading out to wood ranch to meet liz for dinner.  it was her 22nd birthday, so we celebrated with a delicious dinner.  and dessert.  and i ate way too much.  but there was a bathroom there that i could actually use!!!  haha! ;)

and i've spent the evening studying for creative and watching the finale of "nashville star" and printing my dusty rhoads project.  i wanted jason meadows to win, but i'm happy with erika jo, also.  and i love her new single!  i am excited that it'll be all over radio by morning! :)  and the top 4 finalists, all of whom i really like, are going on tour together and will likely also be performing at fan fair, so i'm happy! :)

by tomorrow at 1, i'll be all done with my schoolwork.  my only other thing will be coffee with debbie (and the rest of my comm ethics class) on thursday morning.  i think i can handle that. :)  this year really is coming to an end!  i'm looking forward to the few days i'll have to hang out with friends without having work to do.

monday 25 april 2005 11:49pm

"empty spaces fill me up with holes
distant faces with no place left to go
without you within me i can't find no rest
where i'm going is anybody's guess
i've tried to go on like i never knew you
i'm awake but my world is half asleep
i pray for this heart to be unbroken
but without you all i'm going to be is incomplete" -- backstreet boys "incomplete"

so i'll just explain that the new backstreet boys song is just being released and i already love it (because i'm a total sucker for a good pop song, especially by my favorite of the major boybands), so that's the major reason for these lyrics, as opposed to my general feelings of day, which inspire many lyric choices.  so, yeah. :)  love bsb.

ok, so now that we've officially established that i'm a dork, i can go on telling you about my day. :)  i got up early because the phone rang.  stupid phone.  but anyway, i needed to get up and get going.  it was not good that the hinge on my phone broke, though, so now it's very fragile.  anyway, i got moving.

as i was walking out my car to get something from the trunk, i saw a snake!  yikes!  i ran back inside screaming!  haha!  it was a serious snake!  and i think i can go live by myself.  right.

i spent my day out and about all around town.  i went to school to wrap up my final project for graphic arts, which is a book cover for "survivor."  it turned out alright.  i don't love it love it, but i think it will do.  and then i ran to blockbuster, found myself a jamba juice, made some returns, things like that.  then i stopped by sarah's place and we hung out, i borrowed her paper cutter, and we found a bit of sunshine.  haha!

then i headed back home and have just been hanging out.  both the projects are pretty much wrapped up, with the exception of printing some parts of dusty rhoads.  i talked to the parents on the phone a lot.  i made dinner.  i wrapped some presents.  i tried to make a decision about what i should wear for graduation.  oh, and adam told me about the new backstreet boys song.  apparently, it's so dorky to like bsb that it's actually become cool again.  rawk!

ok, so that's enough out of me for the time being, no?  i think so. :)

monday 25 april 2005 12:06am

"something deep inside keeps sayin' life is like a vapor
it's gone in just the twinklin' of an eye
i want to cry like the rain, cry like the rain
and shine like the sun on a beautiful morning
sing to the heavens like a church bell ringing
fight with the devil and go down swinging
fly like a bird, roll like a stone
love like i ain't afraid to be alone
take everything that this world has to give
i wanna take every breath i can get
i wanna live" -- josh gracin "i want to live"

hmmm... what have i done in the past two days?  i've been busy, i know that much.  it might not make for the most interesting journal entry, however, but here goes...

so yesterday was spent in the oc with sarah.  for now, i'll just say that it was a successful trip, rounded out by a trip to south coast plaza for a bit of shopping and dinner at claim jumpers. :)  oh, and then i went back to sarah's apartment and hung out with her until i realized it was well past midnight and i still had quite a drive back to malibu.

and today was spent in my apartment working on my last two final projects.  dusty rhoads is done and just pending approval from stu before the entire thing gets printed.  some pieces have already been printed, even.  i think it's good.  we'll see what he says tomorrow, though.  and then i did some work on my book cover for dana.  i'm not sure that i've mentioned before that i'm doing "survivor" by chuck palahniuk.  it'll involve an airplane. :)

did laundry today.  remembered that i've run out of hangers.  maybe when i move out of this place it'll be a good chance to weed out some clothes.  but not tonight.

talked on the phone a lot today.  meg.  kath.  the parents.  the brother.  katie.  it was all good!  i needed to hear from these people, so i'm glad i spent time just chatting.  i even helped adam with his essay for school (because he can't read, you know). ;)

and now it's sort of late for a sunday and there's nothing on tv but i'm awake for no really good reason other than that i don't have to be anywhere by any particular time tomorrow and therefore fully intend on sleeping in.  but my eyes and mind are all tired, so i think i'll get to bed soon.

saturday 23 april 2005 1:24am

"hold me baby
you know i've been hurtin'
love this love back to life
'cause it's worth it
love me strong baby
show me no mercy tonight" -- ty herndon "no mercy"

ok, so again it's late and i actually have to be awake pretty early in the morning, so i'm going to keep this brief.

mom woke me up when she called at 9:30 and then she didn't really have time to talk to me (entertain me) since then i was awake with not a whole lot to do.  super.  oh, well.  so i got cleaned up and did a little work on dusty rhoads.

then i decided that since it was an ugly day in malibu, i would head out to the valley and see how it was up there.  i decided to go to the oaks.  i got a little shopping done, including new sunglasses for me which is quite the accomplishment since i have a very hard time picking them out for myself. :)  but i'm pretty set for summertime now, i think.

then i went to visit sarah.  we spent some time tanning ourselves in "the sun."  and then found a delicious dinner at the cheesecake factory and went to see "the upside of anger," which was decent.  there were some parts that i really liked and some that were just strange.  but kevin costner was cool.

and now i'm in the midst of trying to decide what to wear for next weekend for graduation and trying to get to bed and trying not to kill myself tripping on all the shoes strewn about my bedroom floor.

friday 22 april 2005 1:11am

"just to see you smile
i'd do anything
that you wanted me to" -- tim mcgraw "just to see you smile"

i'm tired and it's late, so i'm going to make this brief.  just so you know.

i got up early and headed to my last college class.  graphic arts.  it was a work day, so it fine.  nothing that exciting.  my final project is due tuesday, but i'm not exactly sure when i'll have time to actually complete it.  we'll see.

then i headed up to the valley to take care of some errands.  it was a a gorgeous day up there, like 85 degrees!  it's a shame sarah wasn't home so i could go lay out by her pool.  maybe tomorrow, though.  anyway, i found shoes to wear at graduation.  i found some new tank tops.  i picked up a few essential groceries (milk, lemonade).  it was a good time!

then i came home.  i cleaned up really quickly, and then sarah came over.  then we headed out to westlake village to go to dinner at macaroni grill, which was tasty.  and then she came back here and we watched "the apprentice" because she's obsessed.

and i've been looking for apartments.

it's been a good day. :)

wednesday 20 april 2005 11:31pm

"sometimes i close my eyes
and imagine you with me
chasing passion into the night
all tangled in a dream
oh if you could see my heart
the way i feel inside
you would know just how far
i'm willing to go to get to you
there is nothing i won't do
let me show you what it's like to lose control
free the desire in your soul
oh let me love you
let me take you to a place like nowhere else
show you the things you never felt
oh let me love you" -- tim mcgraw "let me love you"

the phone rings entirely too early in this apartment.  and it's totally my problem because the calls are for me.  super.  i got up and headed to school early this morning to meet with my comm ethics group to prepare our noon presentation.  so that took like 45 minutes, which left us with 75 minutes to do whatever.  good thing i brought a magazine with me because i knew it wouldn't take us two hours.

class was fine.  long.  we went first.  we presented on trl and the ethics of showing kids 8-16 these videos.  have you seen 50 cent's video for 'candy shop?'  if you have, you know you don't want anyone under 16 seeing this video.  but they are.  of course, i presented the important-but-less interesting-to-comm-students section about the first amendment.  anyway, it went fine.  then i had to sit through the other 5 presentations.  some were good.  some were less good.  and class ran long.

then it was down to main campus to take care of a couple little chores before heading home to get as much done as possible with dusty rhoads so i could take a complete draft to stu tonight.  good thing he wasn't there when i got back to school.  whatever.

and then i should have spent the evening working on my art final project (haven't really started that one yet), but instead i was surfing the internet and talking to friends on the phone and watching "sex and the city."  good stuff! :)

and i'm spent, so i'm off to bed a bit early tonight.

wednesday 20 april 2005 12:20am

"so i made a promise to myself
to say each day how much she means to me
and avoid that circumstance
where there's no second chance to tell her how i feel
if tomorrow never comes
will she know how much i loved her
did i try in every way to show her every day
that she's my only one
and if my time on earth were through
and she must face the world without me
is the love i gave her in the past
gonna be enough to last
if tomorrow never comes
so tell that someone that you love
just what you're thinking of
if tomorrow never comes" -- garth brooks "if tomorrow never comes"

so it was an important day. :)

as i was getting up this morning, the bells at the vatican were just starting to ring to proclaim the choosing of a new pope.  that was a welcomed but unexpected surprise.  so i was thoroughly distracted by watching that on tv and briefly talking to josh online as i tried to get myself dressed and ready to head down to orange county this morning.

and then there was the big trip down to san clemente.  95 miles.  nearly two hours.  it was a good time. ;)  and i arrived in san clemente a bit early (because that's how i am and that's how you have to be with la traffic), so i wandered around a bit.  i discovered the wal-mart.  haha!  and then i headed over to rtc group for my interview there, which went really very well!  and then i drove back to malibu.

i spent the afternoon proofreading the group essay for debbie's class that's due tomorrow.  the thing with letting other people write things is that it can be awful.  it took me awhile to get through all the errors and make sense of everything, but i think it turned out fine after all the work.  and i'll be at school at 10 tomorrow morning even though there's no convo so i can meet with this group.  no sleeping in on wednesdays for me. :(

and i didn't get a lot else done during the evening.  i made some dinner, talked to some friends, surfed all sorts of random places online, things like that that are less than productive.  oh, and there was that hour i spent on the phone with my dad and then my brother.  it was so good!  and then there was my hour of the wonderful "nashville star," which i thoroughly enjoyed.

and after all of that, i finally got down to work.  i touched up all the dusty rhoads creative pieces, finished the writing, made all the little corrections that were needed, and made sure that i like where the project is.  there are just a few loose ends left for me tomorrow before 6:30 or so when i turn in my complete draft of my project.  woohoo!

and now it's quite late and i'm so ready to get some good sleep before tomorrow.  there is a lot to get accomplished tomorrow, but i'm excited about most of it.

tuesday 19 april 2005 12:43am

"the sign in the window said 'for sale or trade'
on the last remaining dinosaur detroit made
seven hundred dollars was a heck of a deal
for a four hundred horsepower jukebox on wheels
and the road rolls out like a welcome mat
i don't know where it goes but it beats where we're at
we always said someday somehow
we're gonna get away, gonna blow this town
what about now, how 'bout tonight
baby, for once let's don't think twice
let's take that spin that never ends
and we've been talking about
what about now, why should we wait
we can chase these dreams down the interstate
and be long gone 'fore the world moves on and makes another round
what about now
we've been putting this off, baby, long enough
just give me the word and we'll be kicking up dust
we both know it's just a matter of time
'til our hearts start racing for that county line" -- lonestar "what about now"

mondays can be good. :)

it all started off with a startling alarm clock, but i got over that quick enough and got my day started.  by 9:25, i was out the door and on my way to school for graphic arts.  for class today, we took a little field trip to the campus print shop to learn all about how the printing presses there work and what printers need when preparing jobs for them, and all that fun stuff.  i mean, it was more interesting than the average dana "lesson" so it was a fun little excursion.

and after checking my mail (i ran into wednesday and kristine there, which was serendipitous), i spent the rest of my break in the ccb lounge proofreading my dusty rhoads book for type-os and any places that i accidentally typed dusty james instead of dusty rhoads.  i think i caught everything, though.  and i worked a bit on one of the last written sections i have left.

and ginger's class was not creative but instead an awards ceremony and party.  she brought pizza and cake (that no one ate), and everyone else brought other treats.  there was a ton of food, but that was ok with me because i was starving by 2pm.  and so we ate.  and then it was time for heidi from much love to present the winner of the much love campaign competition.  5 groups.  1 winner.  yeah, my group won!  because we're that awesome! ;)  or because i don't lose class competitions.  seriously, though, i was so proud of the work that the five of us did that i really can say that we deserved it.  (apparently, i am that arrogant.)  and we got much love t-shirts, which means i now have another oversized t-shirt by which i can commemorate my college experience.  or something like that.

this afternoon, i headed back home and took care of some phone calls, emails, research, and dusty rhoads work.  nothing too spectacular.

and then i decided that i had enough time tonight to go to barnes and noble in westlake village because i needed something there and also wanted to pick up a magazine for my research that they didn't actually end up having.  but it was still fun to look around, and i have some new reading material. :)  i love bookstores!

and then i spent all evening working on dusty rhoads creative!  i got a ton of pieces done!  like a lot!  and i'm actually really happy about how they're looking.  so i'm stoked!  tomorrow, i'll attack the tv storyboards and some radio stuff and then i'll be this close to having a complete draft.  wednesday.  that's the goal.

and now i'm off to bed because i have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow!  sorting out a future is a lot of work, people! ;)

monday 18 april 2005 12:06am

"well i hope to God that i don't crumble
oh there's a pretty good chance i will
but it's time for this wily unidentified rambler
to sign the papers and close the deal
i've got a secret that i've gotta tell you
those little things that you do that you don't even know you do
have got me thinking lately
that maybe it's time to jumpstart forever
maybe it's time to let your daddy know
maybe it's time that we lay these two hearts down
oh maybe it's time
it's time i shared this in front of God and everyone
i don't intend to every let you go" -- pat green "it's time"

so i got up relatively early this morning because i was informed that the same woman who got me out of bed early on friday morning was going to come see the apartment again this morning.  so i got up.  and i started working on dusty rhoads.  and three hours after she was supposed to arrive, she still hadn't shown up and i decided i did actually need to eat lunch and take a shower today.

i chatted with annahita on im today.  it's important because it hadn't happened in awhile.  but we caught up, and i impressed her with my photo retouching skills.  :)

i went to campus to meet with my comm ethics group.  i was there 30 minutes.  we didn't do a whole lot, but we did agree that we'd meet again wednesday morning at 10.  so much for not having to go to convo.  whatever.  my section's done, and i am not responsible for putting the whole essay together.

i made cookies this afternoon because i am supposed to bring them to ginger's class tomorrow.  we're having a party and the winner of the much love campaign will be announced.  it should be a good time, and at the very least the cookies will be delicious! ;)

and i had a ridiculous dinner tonight because i only cook for myself so i get to do that.  and i ate it while watching sunday night tv with liz.  the first half of an abc family tv movie, desperate housewives, grey's anatomy, and the second half the of the movie.  it was all quite excellent! :)  and yeah, i should have been doing so much more during those 4 hours, but i did need the break.  i promise.

sunday 17 april 2005 12:50am

"oh i try to be normal
i try to put one foot in front of the other
and i feel
you don't even know i'm alive
i open my mouth 'cause i'm waiting for your love to fall from the sky
and i feel
you think that i'm out of my mind
and maybe you're scared to be right
but you'll never know 'til you get me alone
do you want me
i tell it to you straight so we can't get worse
do you want me
i want to show you me but first things first
do you want me
looking for a savior to save my soul
all the damage i have done has left a big hole
everybody knows i just want someone to hold
do you want me" -- hilary duff "do you want me"

today might have been mildly insane, but things have settled down a bit as the day has gone on.

i slept.  late.  :)  and it was so good!  so good!  of course, it surprised me a bit when i woke up and saw that it was nearly noon, but i was ok with that.  and i eventually got myself out of bed and to the computer so i could continue work on dusty james.  it's fun, but it's a ton of work.  the graphic design stuff just takes hours and hours of perfecting and making new stuff and just figuring out exactly what it is that i want.

and in the afternoon, i headed out to woodland hills, where it was an absolutely gorgeous day!  like 90 degrees!  oh, man!  i love that!  so i stopped by sarah's to borrow something from her, i talked to megs on the phone for a bit, i tried to find something at target but failed, i stopped for an afternoon jamba juice, and i picked up a few groceries before heading home.  in all, it was a decent afternoon.

and then went back to work on the dusty james stuff.  i finished the whole album, which was really fun!  and i'm working on less interesting stuff like graphs and stuff for the body of my report.  and the pieces are coming together.

i cooked myself a proper dinner tonight. :)  it was wonderful, and i do enjoy cooking (even if it means washing more dishes than our apartment can actually hold)!

and i took a couple hours to watch "raise your voice," which i enjoyed thoroughly.  it was way better than i expected it would be (though i did have low expectations), and the story was way more interesting than i thought.  anyway, i had fun with that.

and now it's time for me to get some sleep.

saturday 16 april 2005 2:31am

"all of the tings that i want to say just aren't coming out right
i'm tripping on words
you've got my head spinning
i don' t know where to go from here
'cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and i don't know why i can't keep my eyes off of you" -- lifehouse "you and me"

ok, so i have my own little person prejudice against lifehouse because they stole members of my beloved the calling, but i love this song every time i hear it, so there you go.  i might have to go back to liking them.

so today was meant to be the first day in quite some time that i could sleep in as late as desired, and i really did need the sleep, but last night mrs. nickerson informed me that she was planning on showing our apartment to someone this morning at 9:30.  great.  so that meant another day where the alarm clock went off.  but i managed to get out of bed, and i was dressed when mrs. nickerson and her potential resident showed up at 10:15.  whatever.

and i fielded phone calls all day, including 2 exactly one hour apart when i was trying to take a nap (not so successfully).  they were good calls, though, so i suppose that is alright.

and i spent a good portion of my day working on dusty rhoads.  it's coming along.  making the cd is complicated because each of the 8 pages needs to be different and contain a certain amount of information and whatnot.

anyway, this evening, liz, sarah, and i headed to calabasas for a fun friday night out.  we had dinner at marmelade, where the waiters have too many tables but we weren't in a hurry because we had plenty of time to make the late showing of "fever pitch."  dinner was tasty! :)

"fever pitch."  i'll just apologize to liz right here and tell you not to read this mini-review if you think it'll upset you.  and if you don't want to know about the movie, also do not read the rest of this paragraph.  ok, so i thought it would just be a fun romantic comedy.  and yes, i knew it was a farrelly brothers movie loosely based on a nick hornby book about soccer.  but still.  and i knew the ending because i watched them shoot it as the red sox won the world series, and there was a lot of press about the re-writing of the film.  ok, so what i want to say here is that i didn't particularly think this movie lived up to my hopes for it.  it served as one giant commercial for the bosox and mlb, both of which i actually quite like but it was still distracting.  maybe that's just me ruined by my advertising education.  and i also hated the major inconsistencies in the location of ben's season tickets.  they moved around an awful lot, and i'm pretty sure that most of the locations do not allow for viewing into the dugout "at certain points" or whatever he says.  and from the first location of those seats, you definitely cannot get hit by a line drive foul ball.  and i didn't like either of the main characters that much because i thought they were both too crazy in ways that i found annoying.  and the movie swung from realistic to outrageous so quickly that i wasn't sure what sort of movie this was meant to be.  so anyway, it was ok entertainment, but there are definitely better choices.  oh, and don't let a baseball fan watch.  it'll drive them nuts.  ok, so yeah.

and then i came home and finished the dusty rhoads cd book.  and suddenly it was 2:30 in the morning.  oops!  haha!  but at least i should get some serious hours of sleep tonight! :)

thursday 14 april 2005 11:39pm

"those white lines get drawn into the sun if you ain't got no one
to keep you hanging on
and there you were like a queen with your nightgown, riding shotgun from town to town
staking a claim on the world we found
and i'm singing to you, you're singing to me, you were out of the blue to a boy like me
you were pretty as can be, sitting in the front seat
looking at me, telling me you love me, and you're happy to be
with me on the fourth of july
we sang stranglehold to the stereo
couldn't take no more of that rock n roll
so we put on a little george jones and just sang along
and i'm looking for you in the silence that we share" -- shooter jennings "fourth of july"

hi! :)  days where i'm driving all around with the sunroof open are good ones!

so i was up early to be at dana's class on time.  and somehow i got ready faster than normal and so i ended up just heading to school a few minutes early, but it's cool since i can just hang out in the lab before class starts.  dana assigned our final project today.  yes, on the thursday before dead week (when technically nothing is allowed to be due).  whatever.  it shouldn't be too much of a problem.  i have to redesign a book cover for a book that i've actually read.  i haven't yet decided what i want to redesign, but i'm pretty sure that it won't be one of my pink-covered books.  any ideas?

and by noon, i was out of class and on weekend!!!  yay!  we didn't have ginger's class today because she's at a conference (i think wasc, actually).  so i headed down to the bank to take care of some things.  and after that, i headed up to the volvo dealer.  ugh.  and i got stuck in a crazy traffic nightmare in the canyon.  oh, well.

then it was off into the valley, where it was so gorgeous out that i was driving all around with the sunroof open, radio blaring, and my sunglasses on.  no, it doesn't get much better than that.  i needed to go to office depot/staples because i am going to print my own campaign project instead of giving any more of my money to kinkos and so that meant i needed appropriate types of paper, cds, labels, and other assorted materials.  and i love office supply stores, so it was totally a good time looking through all the products.  i'm a dork.  i know.

and then i headed home for an afternoon of more nerdiness.  i started working on putting up a website to serve as my portfolio.  it's just something simple so i can have that stuff online.

sarah came over to hang out with me and liz between class and a banquet, so that was fun.  i mean, i wasn't particularly entertaining but we chatted and watched some tv.  :)

and after sarah left, it was back to working on the portfolio, which is now online.  it really was only a couple hours of work.  and then i was working on dusty rhoads stuff.  it's going really well!  i really like what i created today!!!  tomorrow, there will be a lot more dusty stuff.  it's all a ton of work, but at least i'm enjoying doing it.

and i watched "the o.c." with liz because i do enjoy it, even if i'm not usually home to watch it.  and how cute is ryan?  and his brother?  yeah, so cute! ;)

and then it was me trying to have 4 conversations at the same time, plus watch tv, plus mess with illustrator.  yeah, that might be too much to handle, but i was doing it nonetheless.  so it's been a good weekend thus far!

tomorrow, more work and more sunshine! :)

wednesday 13 april 2005 11:46pm

"i'll sign it at the bottom of the page
i'll swear it under oath
'cause every single word is true
and i think you need to know
so use it as a bookmark
stick it on your 'frigerator door
hang it in a picture frame up above them mantle
where you'll see it for sure
baby, write this down
take a little note
to remind you in case you didn't know
tell yourself i love you
and i don't want you to do
write this down
take my words and read 'em everyday
keep 'em close by
don't you let 'em fade away" -- george strait "write this down"

wow, it was another long day, but i also know that i accomplished a lot and i feel about 100 times better now than when my day was just getting started.  so here we go...

so i got up at the crack of dawn so that i could be in la by 9:30.  this is quite a task considering the traffic nightmare that is pch in malibu.  but anyway, i got all ready and dressed and pretty and whatever.  and after the long(ish) drive, i was in la and ready for a job interview.

the interview.  well, i'm not sure that the 15 minutes i spent at this agency would really truly qualify as an interview.  i met with this woman, and she informed me that the position had been filled last night.  yeah.  so i got up 4 hours earlier than i normally would have for no particularly good reason other than that she was just too inconsiderate to bother calling me to cancel the interview last night.  and why am i not getting a shot at this job, at least?  dad was quick to inform me that this probably happens more than it really should, but it's still so frustrating.  and of course, she "interviewed" me anyway because the agency has new jobs popping up daily.  so fine.  and actually, there's one open that is of interest to me, so she's "passing on my resume" to whoever's doing the recruiting for that.  super.  because now i'm really excited about working at this place.  but in the end, i suppose the morning was a good little educational session about business, big agencies, and finding a place where i actually want to be.  oh, and i eased my sorrows with a jamba juice on my way back to school! :)  yeah, gotta love any day that includes a jamba juice!

and since this morning, i've had to inform so many people about how my "interview" went.  and i don't normally put really sappy, dorky, cheezy things in this journal, but i'm going to do it anyway.  it's my journal.  i'm in charge! ;)  so anyway, i realized that the fact that i've had to tell people about this rough experience isn't so much a hardship but a really direct sign that there are a lot of people who actually care how it went and care (at least a little bit) about how my life is going.  and for these people, i am eternally grateful.

ok, so back to my day.  once i got to school, i did a quick wardrobe change and then spent some time doing work in the lounge before my noon class.  i finished writing my entire semester's worth of journal entries for ginger.  yeah, did those in about 2 hours total.

debbie's class was interesting.  it was her favorite lecture, the one about secrets and lies.  so we learned how to recognize the body language that people have when lying (stuff that we don't have conscious control over), discussed when lying is appropriate, and talked about secrets and why we have them and why we tell others.  it was all very interesting.  plus, now you know you can't lie to me! ;)

then i headed home.  the plan was to spend the afternoon working in dusty rhoads.  what actually happened is that katie called and i ended up talking to her for 2 hours.  yeah.  well, it had been forever since we'd caught up and we needed that time!  so it was important to me to spend that time talking to her instead of working on dusty stuff.

eventually, i had to head back to school to meet with stu to show him how my campaign is going.  i'm trying to be done by one week from today, so i have some serious work ahead of me, but i also know that i have a ton of stuff already done.  he said he really likes what i have done thus far, so i am now quite confident in my project and campaign.  now, it's just a matter of me actually wrapping up all the pieces and getting it all turned in.  i can't wait!

and i've spent my evening actually doing my work on dusty rhoads.  so far so good.  i'm still messing with stuff, but i am liking it for the most part.

tomorrow, class, errands, sarah, other stuff...

tuesday 12 april 2005 11:22pm

"i dream of your arms around me...
i wonder, i pray
and i sleep alone
i cry alone
and it's so hard living here on my own
so please come home soon
i know that we're together
even though we're far apart
and i wear our lucky penny 'round my neck
pressed to my heart" -- shedaisy "come home soon"

so i know that i've put up other lyrics from this same song before, which is against my own personal rules for how i choose what lyrics to post, but i heard this song (which i love so completely) tonight in the perfect location at the perfect moment so i just knew i had to put these lyrics up tonight.  so there you go. :)

today was a busy one!  i headed out pretty early because i had to make it all the way to san clemente.  that's far from malibu, let me just tell you.  but i had no troubles getting down there and i had extra time, so i stopped for gas and lunch before my interview.  then was interview #1 of the day.

then i headed up to costa mesa.  again, i had some extra time, so i hung out at the mall.  there's a zara there!  this is exciting! :)  so i sort of just walked around and whatever until i needed to go to interview #2 of the day.

then it was 5pm, and i had a serious drive home waiting for me.  not particularly anxious to get on the 405 at rush hour and drive through la, i decided to head back to the mall, wander around a bit, grab some dinner, and hang out there until a more reasonable hour.  then i headed back home.

tonight, relaxing, trying to get a few little pieces of work done, ironing, ice cream, and 'sex and the city.'

tomorrow's another long day, but with any luck some actual work will get accomplished.  life's insane, but i guess that's good in its own way.

monday 11 april 2005 11:55pm

"i look at you and what i see
the only man i ever loved in front of me...
you're everything i want, you rule my world
look at you, you're standing there
you're still a prince
you're still the answer to a prayer
and what i see is all i want
you're everything
you're everything
anywhere you go, i'll be there
anywhere i'll follow you
anything you want, i'll give you
anything thing at all
anytime you're lost
that's me there, i'm with you
i'll take you home
look at me
and hold me tight
you're like the morning sun to be
but twice as bright
i'll never let you go" -- "you rule my world" from "the full monty"

i've been listening to "the full monty" lately. :)

i got up bright and early this morning so i could take care of some phone calls and perhaps get some issues taken care of.  of course, not a whole lot of people wanted to talk to me at 9am.  whatever.  so i just got ready and headed out to school for graphic arts.

graphic arts.  oh, man.  well, today we had a full lesson in making an unscientific color wheel in illustrator.  do not ask me why.  i have no idea.  i already know what a color wheel is.  i already know that the color between blue and red is called violet.  but anyway, at least there was something to do during class.

then i had a break.  i went down to main campus to check my mail for the first time in ages!  ages!  there were catalogs, a note from my mother, and a few school-related things in there.  it's amazingly more fun to check mail when it's been a week! :)  and i spent the rest of break munching on pretzels in the ccb lounge flipping through the catalogs and wishing i had remembered to bring some more serious reading material with me.  oh, well.

and then there was ginger's class.  it was a debriefing after our pitches last thursday.  that meant that we went through each group's project and presentation and gave feedback.  of course, no one is ripping apart anyone else's so publicly, so it was mostly just "you guys were really great"s and things like that.  oh, well.  and ginger actually had our grades for us!  amazing!  she hasn't been that on top of things all semester.

i spent the afternoon working on illustrations for my dusty rhoads project.  yes, his name has been changed.  it's now 100% ridiculous, instead of just 90%.  so i worked on some illustrations for the ads i am getting ready to create and also made him a logo.  after a few drafts, i really like what i've developed!  so now it's just a matter of me pulling everything together.  oh, and the budget.  the project is coming together, though.  i am quite pleased with the creative thus far.  i've never thought of myself as a creative until now.  now that i'm actually pulling together my own ideas about what this campaign is going to look like, i feel moderately qualified to make ads.  too bad it's nearly impossible to find a job doing this and i'll continue to pursue a path of account management.  (well, it's not that sad really because i also really like that.)

the cmt awards were also tonight.  i caught parts, but i taped the whole thing and am definitely going to find some time (maybe this weekend) to sit and watch the whole thing.  i missed most of it tonight between a plethora of phone calls, but that's fine.  they were good calls. :)

and tomorrow is a big day!  big!  i'll be in orange county, so you can find me on my mobile.  and wish me luck!

sunday 10 april 2005 11:55pm

"is it the wind
over my shoulder
is the the wind that i hear gently whispering
are you alone there in the valley
no, not alone for you walk, you walk with me
is it the wind there over my shoulder
is it your voice calling quietly
over the hilltop, down in the valley
never alone for you walk with me
when evening falls
and the air gets colder
when shadows cover the road i am following
will i be alone there in the darkness
no, not alone, not alone
and i'll never be
never alone, you are walking
you're walking with me" -- "you walk with me" from "the full monty"

suddenly it was 11.  not sure how that happened.  perhaps it was that i didn't actually get to sleep until 2.  yeah, that's probably it. ;)

ok, so when i did eventually get myself out of bed, it was pretty much straight into the shower to get cleaned up and moving for the day.  after getting dressed, i decided to head out and run the errands that needed to be taken care of today.  sometimes, 2-3 weeks between trips to the grocery store is just too many weeks.  so anyway, i decided that i actually wanted to go to cost plus, as well, so i headed out to westlake village.  i hadn't been up that way in awhile, so it seemed like a perfectly good option.  i may have gotten sidetracked by the bookstore next door to cost plus, but we'll just leave that as our little secret. ;)  and then i also went to cost plus -- mostly to pick up a few little british treats that people shouldn't be forced to live without.  ::cough::carameldisgestives::cough::  and by the time that i had finished in these two stores, i realized that i was quite hungry and that just a few stores over was a california pizza kitched asap (the quickie version of the normal restaurant), so i headed over there to pick up some pizza for lunch.  mmm!  i don't think pizza gets better than that!  plus, now i have leftovers!  and then i got to the actual errand.  i went to the grocery store and picked up a few essentials.  i do like the grocery store!  haha!  oh, and the guy behind me in line was ridiculously attractive and was buying more carbs than i've ever seen one person buying -- lots of rice, potatoes, and pasta!  i found the whole experience fun! ;)

and then i spent my afternoon watching the masters (tiger really is amazing, isn't he?) and writing my portion of my comm ethics paper on first amendment and obscenity law and how there's a lot of indecent stuff being marketed to our teen via trl.  anyway, i got that done, which was quite an accomplishment.

i talked to my grandma wyatt on the phone tonight.  she turned 84 today.  apparently, i'm not such a great grandchild because she was so happy and so shocked to hear from me.  i guess it's been awhile, but i didn't go 4 years like my cousin jeff who apparently also called today.  anyway, it was good to catch up with her. :)

i spent some serious time going through design magazines looking for inspiration for my dusty campaign.  i actually found lots of stuff for inspiration, so it was well worth the time and page-turning.

and of course, what would sunday night be without some excellent tv and a pedicure?  ;)  so i settled in to watch "desperate housewives" and "grey's anatomy" with a bottle of nail polish, and it was all good fun! :)

and then it was back to the work.  i cleaned my room (you have no idea how badly i needed to do this).  i did some dishes.  i browsed craigslist.  i took care of a couple small homework tasks.  i made sure my calendar was all up-to-date.  so things are all ready for another super busy week.

sunday 10 april 2005 1:09am

"i learned slow but now i know
we only get what we're given
so run to me, baby, don't hesitate
'cause maybe tomorrow might be too late
here's my one chance to hold you
here's my one chance to love you
right now i'm gonna take it
right now, right now
i'm gonna hang on to every minute
drink it up while i'm in it
right now i'm gonna live for
right now, right now" -- rushlow "right now"

there's something about the combination of homework and cmt that sort of just sucks the hours away.  it's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's true.  i got up around 9:30 this morning and moved over to the computer to work on my campaign.  i put on cmt because it makes for good homework tv.  then, all of a sudden it was several hours later, i had created lots of logos for dusty, and i realized that i did actually need to shower at some point today.  so i took a break to do things like get clean, eat something, and fold some laundry (that's still not totally done, though!).  and it was actually not a bad way to spend saturday morning and afternoon, since i needed to get the work done, it's not particularly hard, and i enjoyed the music. :)

then this evening, i headed up to woodland hills to see sarah.  first, she got a mini fashion show of possible dress choices for graduation.  a final decision has yet to be made, but i think we're one step closer! ;)  and then we headed out to her cousins' house in manhattan beach for a small bbq dinner.  it was nice to have a real dinner with a family for the first time in awhile.  and it was just a nice way to spend the evening.  and then after chatting for awhile, sarah and i headed back to her apartment where we hung out for a couple hours before i decided to head home.

tomorrow, more work and some fun errands! :)  good things for a sunday...

friday 8 april 2005 11:38pm

"yeah, it's so complicated, i love then i hate it
i'm laughing, you're crying, you're living, i'm dying
somebody always loses and we still play the game
yeah, the fire will always burn you and we still like the flame
let's make it up baby, 'cause i ain't gonna fight
if you're the death of me, darlin', i wanna die" -- miranda lambert "i wanna die"

so it was meant to be a big day today, and it was but in different ways than expected.  and i also know that as i write about it and as you read about it, it might not seem that extraordinary.  but it felt extraordinary.

ok, so i got an important phone call this morning about a possible opportunity.  :)  this is big news!  and i got an important email, as well.  the job searching is continuing.

this afternoon, sarah and i headed down to costa mesa and newport beach.  i had an interview at 5 so i was going to leave sarah at fashion island, go to my interview, and then meet her back there.  on the way, though, i got a call saying the interview needed to be rescheduled, so instead of our plan, we scoped out where the building is and then headed down to fashion island.  we shopped for a few hours and then enjoyed a nice dinner at hard rock, since we've eaten in those all around the world now. :)  it was a great time!

and tomorrow... not sure.  work.  groceries.  maybe something fun.  we'll see! :)

friday 8 april 2005 12:44am

"i'm the frozen ground
you're the warm sunlight
shining down on me
baby just in time
i have never been in love like this
oh you move my soul every time we kiss
and i love how you feel
i can't believe how alive i feel
you're a waterfall washing over me
i'm a thirsty man, let me drink you in
i am on my way
you're a mountain top
when i reach for you
your love lifts me up
and all that i want is to be
where you are" -- rascal flatts "where you are"

first off, i should just apologize for being absent for so many days.  life's been crazy, and i know that's not really a good excuse for me to not be taking a few minutes out of my day to do this, but it's the truth.

so yeah, life has been crazy.  tuesday i had an interview with an la-based agency.  it went well, and i should be having a third interview with them in the near future.  and i spent tuesday night at school with my much love group getting our stuff organized.  oh, and there was a whole fiasco with getting everything printed on tuesday that involved 4 trips to various kinkos.

wednesday (yesterday) was another busy one.  i attended my last convo ever.  apparently, people thought it was good.  it wasn't.  whatever.  and then i had class with debbie (turned in a paper about "good will hunting").  and then i went to kinkos to sort out the whole printing stuff.  and let's just say that they got about as much money out of me as they deserved.  and then it was back to school that night to break my way into the classroom and meet with the much love group to sort out our presentation.

and today was another huge day!  huge!  so i went to graphic arts, which was fine.  and then had a small break.  and then it was much love pitch day!  i'll just say that our presentation went really super well, and i feel great about the work we produced.  (at some point i'll try to get some of those pdfs up online so you can see.)  and you know i'm stoked to have this big project behind me! :)  and then i came home for a brief nap (never quite made it all the way to sleep, though) before heading out to in-n-out with liz for dj's birthday!  22!  so a big group of us had dinner there (of course, i ate beforehand because i don't actually like in-n-out).  it was a whole bunch of boys that i don't know that well, but they were all cool. :)  and then we all went bowling.  i've had better games, but you have to "let the birthday boy win" or something like that.  i bowled 108, 145, 117.  the last game was particularly fun because it was me, dj, and cameron bowling on a lane and we scored 117, 114, 117 respectively.  yeah, it was that competitive!  it was fun for me to have lots of people to really compete with, even if it meant not winning!  oh, i do love bowling!

and now i'm going to try to get some rest... or perhaps just get sucked into watching the pope's funeral... before another busy day tomorrow.  i'll be heading down to the oc.

monday 4 april 2005 11:19pm

"some day my prince will come
some day we'll meet again
and away to his castle we'll go
to be happy forever i know
some day when spring is here
we'll find our love anew
and the birds will sing
and wedding bells with ring
some day when my dreams come true" -- "some day my prince will come" from "snow white"

life is really quite insane right now.  insane.  it's full of wonderful things, but i'm physically and mentally very tired.  so i'm trying to catch up on the rest tonight.

ok, so yesterday was disneyland day.  i had an absolute blast!  it was a nice day and sarah and i spent all day there.  we arrived around 10am and were there until about 11:30pm and we didn't stop much.  i'll just give you a brief summary, and if you feel like you need more details feel free to request those from me.  (ok, i'm losing motor skills at this point in my typing.  is that bad news?)  we first went to disneyland for a few rides, and then it was over to california adventure.  some of my favorite disney attractions are there, including soarin' over california, the tower of terror, and the rollercoaster.  it was all very excellent!  and then in the afternoon, we went back to disneyland for more rides there! :)  all the important ones were covered, really.  haunted mansion.  pirates.  the new buzz lightyear one (it's like being inside a videogame!).  all that good stuff!  mr. lincoln is gone (temporarily???), which is disappointing but not altogether unexpected.  sarah and i also took silly pictures, i procured a new hat (not gold ears, though), and we had dinner at a restaurant inside the grand californian hotel.  we watched fantasmic from the bridge over pirates, which was a whole new and really fun experience!  we made a very brief appearance at the pepperdine spring fling party and then headed home, so tired but so happy!

and today it was back to school.  graphic arts.  break spent writing a comm ethics paper.  creative preparing for our much love pitch on thursday.

i spent all afternoon working on much love stuff, and somehow i still do not have all the pieces, which is frustrating but i can only do so much.

i also watched the ncaa basketball championship game, which was good fun, especially since i was on the phone with adam for a lot of it.  this was my (well-deserved) break from the work today.

then i wrapped the comm ethics paper on "good will hunting" and started in on the one about music censorship and the first amendment, all while watching "dirty dancing!" :)

now, if i can just catch a few zzzs before my interview tomorrow, i should be good to go! :)

saturday 2 april 2005 11:38pm

"if my heart starts to pound like a bass drum drumming
like the beat when an old sun record plays
and if i turn my back when the train in coming
oh baby, you made me that way
i used to play it safe
never thinking what i might miss
who knew there'd come a day
i would come alive like this
with just one kiss
if i choose the edge over the middle
if i moan at the sound of a certain name
and i lean just this side of illegal
oh baby, you made me this way" -- andy griggs "you made me that way"

oh, man, you know this is going to be a fascinating entry!  i have been sitting at my desk for approximately 14 hours.  is that too many?

ok, so when there was a party (involving a crying baby) going on above my head at 10am, i decided it was time to get out of bed.  so i managed to make my way (about 6 feet) from my bed to my desk.  and i knew there was a lot of work to get done today, so i started right in.  that's how saturday goes when you did no schoolwork on friday and none will get done on sunday.  ok, so anyway, i started in on the much love campaign.

suddenly, it was 2 and i knew that i needed to eat lunch, just because a person needs to eat every now and then.  so i took a few minutes to eat lunch and to shower.

then the 2 basketball games came on, so i watched those while doing work.  there was actually more working than watching, but all this design and layout work kind of just sucks away the hours.  the games both started out interesting, but ended kind of boring, so that's fine.

i also did a couple loads of laundry because i realized that there'd be no time for me to do it until next satuday and it had already been 2 weeks!  so i did that, of course returning to my desk to do more work in between changing loads.  oh, it was good fun! ;)

and after lots of work, it was suddenly 9pm and i decided i needed to actually eat dinner, like normal people do.  so i took a few minutes to do that.

and then there was more work on the campaign.  but now, it's as done as i'm capable of.  i'm just missing a few of the creative pieces, so when i get those, they'll get dropped into the book and the powerpoint, and all will be finished!  rawk!  it's looking really nice, if i do say so myself. :)

and i talked to kath on the phone for awhile tonight!  i hadn't talked to her in way too long, so we caught up on everything.  she's going to be in la for a couple months this summer as part of a really cool internship sort of program at ucla!  i'm so stoked!  we might actually get to hang out with each other at some point in the future ever!

and the pope passed away today.  "the leader of my people" as sarah has been referring to him. ;)  i'm sure it will prove to be an interesting time for the church, and i'm excited to watch the whole process of burying him and choosing a new pope.

tomorrow... a really long day of disney because it's spring fling for pepperdine! :)

saturday 2 april 2005 12:01am

"when you walked up behind me and covered my eyes
and whispered in my ear, 'guess who'
i rattled off names like i really didn't know
but all along i knew it was you
and the longer we talked, the more we laughed
and wondered why we didn't last
it had been a long time but later last night
baby, we caught up real fast
and maybe it's a little too early
to know if this is gonna work
all i know is that you're sure looking
good in my shirt" -- keith urban "you look good in my shirt"

i'm exhausted.  like a lot.  like i can barely see what i'm typing anymore, and i'm losing motor skills.  but it's a good sort of tired, really!

ok, so i got up early, got all dressed up (as dressed up as i'm really capable of), and headed out to burbank.  job interview #1 of the day.

then i headed over to sarah's place to just sort of crash before a busy afternoon.  we just hung out for a bit.  then she had to conduct a phone interview for her "thesis" so i watched the news and got myself all up-to-date on the pope, electing new popes, and the 9 days of funerals that will be planned once he finally dies.  it's all very interesting to me. ;)  anyway, then i was expecting a phone call for a long phone interview, but i never received that call, and when i tried to call i got no answer and was left to just leave a voicemail.

then i headed out to simi valled for job interview #2 of the day.  right near the reagan library, actually.

then i headed back toward home and again tried calling the lady who was supposed to do the phone interview.  she answered, i pulled off the freeway, and i sat in my car and talked to her for quite some time.  job interview #3 of the day.

the whole day went really well, and i was stoked, so i rang sarah to see if she wanted to hang out again, this time with me being less anxious.  she told me to head over to her place, so i did that.  then, i discovered that keith urban was on the 5 o'clock block on the radio station!  keith for an entire hour! (hence tonight's lyrics)  i was in such a good mood!

so i made it to sarah's place, we hung out for a few minutes, and then we decided on dinner and a movie. :)  so we headed out to calabasas, where we discovered that there's an independent film festival going on.  press.  red carpet.  movie theatre.  you know the deal, right? ;)  so it was a bit crowded, but we found a place to park, had a delicious meal at johnny rocket's, and then saw "miss congeniality 2."  it was a fun movie! :)

and now i'm at home, so tired and so ready to sleep in tomorrow morning.  good night! :)

friday 1 april 2005 12:38am

"mama, i'm ok out here
i've seen how hard the world can be
my step is sure and i know my name
i'm strong just like you prayed i'd be" -- miranda lambert "mama, i'm alright"

i have to make this brief because i have to be up in less than 7 hours and i have a huge day ahead of me.  huge.  i promise.

graphic arts -- put together monthly calendar.  well-received!
there's something about this class that seems a bit silly and redundant, but i'm just going with it at this point.  i'm still discovering new things i can do it quark, and i guess that means i'm learning, which is the point.  so i created that calendar for one month, and everyone else did, too.  we all walked around and looked at each other's, and i got lots of compliments!  :)  and then we had to take our basic design idea and turn that into 4 months worth of monthly calendars, so i did that during class.  dana finally got it right and told us our homework at the beginning of class, so i could work on it during class when she was doing something of little or no value to myself.

break -- hung around, looked for jobs, not so exciting stuff
so after i wrapped up my calendar project, i headed down to main campus to check my mail for the first time in ages.  it's probably not a good thing that i wait so long between checking it, but it does mean that there's usually something exciting in it!  then i headed back up to the ccb, where i hung out for a bit and looked for jobs and surfed and whatever.  i also did a little phone interview, which is definitely a good thing!

creative -- spent all afternoon working on much love campaign, but it's going well!  one more week!
i got to spend several hours with my much love group working on making everything the same and matching and correct and all that.  i also took on the responsibility of putting together the book (a responsibility i had already sort of assumed) and putting together the powerpoint (a responsibility i was not counting on).  we got a lot done, and we all know what we need to do before our pitch on thursday, so we did accomplish a lot, even if i still have about 1000 things to do for this!  i'll be putting in some serious work in the next couple days.

dinner with liz, sara, dj, and jake in calabasas.  way good!

i met liz and sara at the bookstore, where i somehow ended up doing another little phone interview, while we all waited to meet dj and jake for dinner.  then we did have dinner together at this sandwich place in calabasas, which was quite good.  and it's just fun to have dinner out with friends!

bowling with all them plus katie, josh, and bev!  i <3 bowling.  i got beat by a boy, but i suppose it happens from time to time. ;)  i mean, he won the first game and i won the second and life is still ok. :)  there's not a lot better than thursday night bowling!
ok, so we went thursday night bowling, one of my favorite activities of all time!  and this time is was a big group!  and of course, i was trying to score well, but i'm not actually a good bowler.  and dj was on.  i lost by 7, bowling a 129.  so the second game, i wanted to see if i could beat him by that (because i'm just that competitive) and i came close but failed in the end.  i bowled a 132 to his 130.  5 points.  but then again, a midget did bowl a 1 in one of his frames in the first game, so he probably would have beat me by much more than 7.  ok, enough of me rambling about the score, because in the end i had an absolute blast! :)  it was a great night!

wednesday 30 march 2005 11:33pm

"you look at me
curious what i'm made of
sugar or steam
and what kind of man i love
what i believe
what i know and what i crave
all my pet peeves
where i've shed and when i stain
do you know
'cause i'm not here to be around
and be that girl that you forget about
'cause all i want is just to be a song
that you can feel longer than just right now
so come on baby let me be the girl
that you can count on to rock your world
and then you'll see there's so much more than curves
and then you'll see that you and me belong" -- aslyn "be the girl"

oh, man, another really long wednesday.  but it ended well!

ok, so i was up bright and early for convo this morning.  i knew it was supposed to be a nice day and i was feeling up to it so i put on a cute skirt and looked perhaps nicer than i might on an average school day. :)  it's always fun!

convo was about mountain lion safety and the bible.  or something.  i'm not sure.  i mean, i was there, and i think i was listening but the message never really connected.  and it was weird that sarah was there before me this morning (i forgot some stuff so i had to turn around and head back home when i was on my way to school).  and it was more disturbing that a couple sat exactly next to me for no good reason at all (other than that i smell nice) and were cuddling through convo.  if a couple is busy rubbing each other during convo, i do not want to be about 2 inches from them.  thanks.

then i went up to the ccb to start working on my calendar for graphic arts.  it's supposed to be a design piece, so that's what i did.  more on this later.

it was eventually time for comm ethics.  umm... i am trying to remember what we did.  oh, yeah.  we watched a documentary about teens and how they are marketed to.  it's supposed to make you hate marketers.  well, that's not going to happen, so it was mostly me just wondering where these kids' parents are when they're having sex at age 12.  but anyway.  and we got together with our final project groups.  we came up with a topic (teen music, how obscene the lyrics are, what should be done, and first amendment rights), separated out who's writing what, and it's all sounding good.  my group's decent.  we could be a hell of a lot worse, let me tell you!

then after class, it was straight back to the mac lab, where i spent way too many hours working in quark on my calendar.  in the end, i made 2.  they're pretty much the same, but small color and pattern differences.  and it's a way crazy design.  i want to get it up on the web soon so you can see it, so i'll just have to make it web-ready when i'm at school one of these days.  i'm pretty happy with how it turned out, though.

and then it was back to the classroom for campaign, in which i learned nothing.  at least it was only about an hour.  an hour can seem like an eternity, though, when i'm bored out of my mind.  but whatever.  i have work to do on my campaign, that much i know.

and tonight, i came home and made myself some dinner.  the thing that's great about only cooking for myself is that i can make whatever random food i feel like.  tonight, i wanted breadsticks, so i made those.  and i also made myself scrambled eggs with bacon.  yeah.  sounded good to me, and it was! :)  oh, and i also watched "sex and the city" tonight, which was awesome.  oh!  and i taught myself how to use indesign, which is so super exciting!  i'm such a nerd!  you are so jealous of my computer skills.  ;)  and now, i must get some rest before another long day!

tuesday 29 march 2005 11:52pm

"maybe now i've conquered all my adolescent fears
and i'll do it better in my next thirty years
my next thirty years i'm gonna settle all the scores
cry a little less, laugh a little more
find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
figure out just what i'm doing here
in my next thirty years...
my next thirty years will be the best years of my life
raise a little family and hang out with my wife
spend precious moments with the ones that i hold dear
make up for lost time here in my next thirty years
in my next thirty years" -- tim mcgraw "my next thirty years"

that song was written by one of my favorites ever, mr. phil vassar himself! :)  also, i forgot to mention in my last entry that i got my new phantom planet cds and thus the lyrics from the song that they performed that 100% got me hooked.  so yeah, that's that. :)

ok, so today was me just kind of being obsessive about going through job listings online.  i mean, it's something that i've totally been putting off, and now i'm just doing it.  for real.  i have less than 5 weeks to figure out my future.  ok, that's crazy!  anyway, so i spent pretty much all day on craigslist and writing emails and things like that.  i know, that doesn't make for the most compelling journal entry ever, but it's really what i did.  this is really my life.  and it takes a lot of time to just sort through all that stuff.

this evening, i had dinner at spumoni.  spumoni is a very small restaurant.  and my liz and josh were dining at another table, and my friend kaley was dining with one of her friends at another table.  crazy, right?  yeah, i guess that's malibu for you.  so it was a delicious dinner, we got free tiramisu, the staff there definitely knows who we are, and we got caught up on stuff.  sarah was gone for a week.  that leaves a lot to talk about! :)

and tonight, it was back to the job hunting.  a whole lot of people now have my resume.  someone will like me, right?  right?  i hope so!

i also watched "american idol," the premier of "the office," and "nashville star."  again, i love "nashville star!"  it was finally time for the contestants to start singing original material, and they were awesome!  :)  makes me want to move to nashville and work in the music industry there.  it would be amazing.  you know, besides the fact that i have never been there before, it's nearly impossible to find a job in the industry there, and all those things. ;)

ok, so now it is time for me to stop reading the listings obsessively and go to bed.  i have to go to convo tomorrow morning.  good night!

tuesday 29 march 2005 12:50am

"well i'm leaving for awhile
i'll head in some direction
i just don't know which one i should be taking
and i'm ready and waiting
for the happy ending
i'm begging and pleading
for another beating
i'm ready and waiting
for the happy ending" -- phantom planet "the happy ending"

oh, mondays.  ;)

ok, so i had like the worst time ever falling asleep last night and for no particular reason.  i went to bed early figuring that being well-rested on monday morning would be a totally good thing.  well i still don't know because i got only a few hours of sleep.  oh, well.  anyway, when i did get up and get ready for the day, i made it out the door and all the way to campus a few minutes early.  rawk!

and then there was graphic arts.  we discussed our 2-page spreads, which was fine until it degenerated into dana doing color correction on someone's photo.  um, we did that in like the first week.  we don't need to watch her do it again.  but whatever.  and we're doing more quark stuff.  next project: a really rad looking calendar.  i have an idea of what mine is going to look like.  wednesday will be the day i actually execute the ideas in my head. :)  you're excited!  you know you want my calendar on your wall! ;)

during my 2-hour break, i thought i'd start on the calendar, but sarah rang and she was just downstairs in her office, so i went down there.  i ended up completely distracting her until 2, when we both had to leave.  oops!  haha!  it was cool, though.

and then there was creative.  basically, i just want to get all our campaign stuff done.  the pitch is a week from thursday.  i cannot wait to have that over with!  that'll be so exciting and a huge weight off my shoulders.  we're coming along nicely, though, and this thursday will most likely be filled with tons and tons of working making sure everything is in order.  there are just a lot of details to take care of.

then i came home this afternoon and have been doing all sorts of work since.  i did some homework.  i did some searching for jobs.  i watched "good will hunting" for a paper i'm preparing to write.  i got some work done on my dusty campaign and sent that off to debbie for some real feedback.  i guess i've been pretty productive.

tomorrow, the campaigns and the job searching continue.  at least there's cake in this apartment! :)

sunday 27 march 2005 6:59pm

"who am i, that the Lord of all the earth
would care to know my name
would care to feel my hurt
who am i, that the Bright and Morning Star
would choose to light the way
for my ever wandering heart
not because of who i am
but because of what You've done
not because of what i've done
but because of who You're
i am a flower quickly fading
here today and gone tomorrow
a wave tossed in the ocean
a vapor in the wind
still You hear me when i'm calling
Lord, You catch me when i'm falling
and You've told me who i am
i am Yours, i am Yours" -- casting crowns "who am i"

happy easter!  so if you read this often, you know that i don't put a whole lot of christian song lyrics on here, but today it seemed fitting.  (not that i actually think anyone reads them)  anyway, i heard this song the other night at coffeehouse and liked it, so there you go.

i got up early this morning.  i got cleaned up and then made myself pretty. ;)  i finally got to wear my new pink skirt!  haha!  anyway, i headed off to our lady of malibu for 10:30 mass.  normally, i arrive there about 5 minutes early and the church is very empty.  well, i got there 10 minutes early this morning, and it was already standing-room-only.  this was bad news for a girl with a purse wearing heels.  but i found myself a tiny little space to stand in right in front of a window.  (there's the a/c in the church.)  it was a disastrous mass.  i couldn't pay attention to anything that was being said because i was so uncomfortable standing, so i didn't get a whole lot out of the experience.  and then about 2/3 through the mass, i started getting really hot and i tried to just take deep breaths of fresh air from the window.  then i started getting light-headed and i couldn't hear and i could barely stand and during the sign of peace i had to leave the church and find a bench outside to sit down.  i'd never been so close to just passing out.  it was scary and i was trying as hard a possible not to embarrass myself.  and i apparently i wasn't the only one who was less than comfortable because a girl sat down on the bench with me at the exact same time and looked about as miserable as i was.  but i recovered after a few moments outside, at least enough to stand up and get communion.  then i left.  so did most people who were standing.  in case you don't know, the communion in a catholic mass is very near the end.  there are always people who just leave straight afterwards.  i usually don't like that and never mind staying the extra 5 minutes, but i just couldn't.  i didn't have a place to even stand in the church for that time, so i just headed out.  i tried, but i couldn't get a lot out of the mass.

anyway, so then i came home and started cooking furiously while also watching the basketball games.  i made rigatoni with bechamel sauce and cheese breadsticks, and liz made a salad.  jen and marie came over, and we all ate way too much and talked and had a really nice time.  it's good to have a little celebration, even if i couldn't be with my actual family this year.  oh, and i made a decadent chocolate cake for dessert.  and there were chocolate cookies made in my waffle iron.  :)  oh, man, there was a lot of food -- mostly chocolate.  it was fun!

and i've just been hanging out tonight, nothing too crazy.  i'll catch "desperate housewives" later with  liz and then probably just crash.  it was a nice easter.  i hope yours was, also!

sunday 27 march 2005 1:10am

"no one told me i was going to find you
unexpected what you did to my heart
when i lost hope, you were there to remind me
this is the start
and life is road that i wanna keep going
love is a river i wanna keep flowing
life is a road now and forever wonderful journey
i'll be there when the world stops turning
i'll be there when the storm is through
in the end i wanna be standing
at the beginning with you
we were strangers on a crazy adventure
never dreaming how our dreams would come true
now here we stand unafraid of the future
at the beginning with you" -- donna lewis "at the beginning"

ok, so i guess i have a lot to write about since i haven't updated in a couple days.  i guess i'll just go until i come to the end and then i'll stop... or something like that.

yesterday morning, i was again awoken by the car dealer calling.  this time, it was because they wanted me to take their survey.  the questions were phrased so that i couldn't give bad feedback, not that i want to give bad feedback to the dealer i'd go to again if i needed anything.  anyway, so i answered her questions, tried to go back to sleep, and decided that was not going to happen.

so i got up, got clean, and got dressed.  i even put on new shoes, even though i knew they could potentially hurt my feet after a day of running errands.  anyway, then i headed out to the valley to run a whole host of errands.

i actually usually like a day of errands.  it means i'm in the valley, which is always warmer than malibu.  it means i might sneak in a bit of shopping for fun stuff.  it means i'm not in class! ;)  anyway, so i went to target and picked up a few essentials.  then i went to the scrapbook store to get a little scrapbook for my hawaii photos.  i'm excited about this little project!  i am trying to make it all fun and colorful because the photos don't actually have people in them.  so we'll see.  at least i'll enjoy it! :)  then i went to trader joes and albertsons to pick up a few groceries for the easter lunch i'm cooking.

then i headed home so that i could catch the basketball games! :)  haha!  oh, only for one month does my life completely revolve around basketball.

then i was off to school to watch our volleyball team beat my hometown team stanford 3-1.  it was actually a really fun match with lots of huge plays!  it was way fun! :)

and then i spent my evening starting in on the hawaii scrapbook.  because that seemed like a good way to spend a friday night alone at home.  :)

today, i got up and cleaned the apartment.  it desperately needed it!  and i love this apartment when it's clean. :)  then the afternoon was spent watching basketball!  so much fun!  two games both with huge comebacks that went into overtime!  no, it does not get better than that!  and i jut think the world of coach pitino, as he's now bringing his record third different team to the final four.

tonight, i headed out to lax to pick up sarah and russell.  they're just getting back from london!  how jealous am i?!?  well, it took me 80 minutes to get out of malibu thanks to the insane traffic on pch because there's only 1 lane open down near topanga.  i had no idea that i'd spend that long in traffic on a saturday evening, but i did.  mel called and entertained me, though! :)  and i eventually made it to the airport (really, really, super late) and picked them up and brought them back to sarah's apartment.  man, i cannot wait to hear all about the trip!  and since i didn't leave sarah's until almost 9, i was way too late to meet liz at the movie in the park that started at 8, so i just headed home.  kath called and entertained me for a bit, as well. :)

and tonight, there was a bit more baking in preparation for tomorrow.  we'll have far more food than people, but it'll be fun anyway.  when chocolate's involved, it's always a good time!  oh, and bacon.  cake and bacon.  you know you want some! ;)

so a happy easter to everyone!  i'm off to bed so i can make it to mass awake tomorrow morning (finally debuting the skirt i bought at anthropologie so long ago)!

thursday 24 march 2005 10:55pm

"i hear the ticking of the clock
i'm lying here the room's pitch dark
i wonder where you are tonight
no answer on the telephone
and the night goes by so very slow
oh i hope that it won't end though
alone
'til now i always got by on my own
i never really cared until i met you
and now it chills me to the bone
how do i get you alone
how do i get you alone" -- heart "alone"

so it was a thursday.  and by thursday i often find myself quite exhausted.  it helped that i went to bed much earlier than normal last night, though.

by 7:30 i was struggling to stay asleep until my 8:30 alarm went off.  it wasn't particularly successful, but i tried. :)  and when that alarm did finally go off, i got up, got clean, and headed out to school in the mazda.

graphic arts this morning was long, mostly because i spent yesterday finishing the assignment that apparently only had to be about half completed by today.  that was not my understanding, but who can ever tell with this class?  i figure it was better to just "git 'er done" than to put it off and have to break into the mac lab (no, this is not at all feasible) during the weekend to do the rest of the work.  ok, so my point is that i finished the assignment that everyone else was working on, so i didn't have that much to do for those two hours.  i sort of just played with quark, though.

during my 2-hour break, i headed down to main campus to check my mail.  that was probably a waste of time, as all that was waiting for me was a bank statement.  and then i took the shuttle back up the hill to the ccb.  i picked up pretzels and a cookie, which i dubbed "lunch" and ate that while surfing the net.  i thought it would be funny to make a list of the websites that i went to.  if it's not interesting to you, at least it was interesting to me. ;) cnn, sports illustrated, ford, car and driver, food network, martha stewart, cdnow, target, moma, american eagle, sephora, artchive, espn, and bbc news.  yeah, who am i?!?  but it was a a good way to spend a couple free hours, i suppose. :)

then it was time for ginger's class.  libby(who is in 3 of my four classes)'s husband george hertzberg is an actor (mostly commercial and voice over), and he came in to talk about production.  it was interesting, and he is quite funny, so it was a good class.  i also found out that other groups got really harsh criticism from much love during our last client meeting -- so much so that ginger felt bad that everyone was having to take so much.  i had no idea!  our group didn't get it!  amazing!  this makes me feel good about how the campaign is going and how the client is feeling about it. :)  and we got our last big drafts back with lots and lots of comments (most of which we can't actually read because of ginger's awful handwriting).  we have work to do, but i know the end of this project is close.  :)

after class, i rang the volvo dealer to see if my car was ready yet.  of course, no answer, so i left a message and headed home.  as i just parked the mazda in the driveway, my phone rang and it was the volvo dealer telling me my car was ready!  so i headed back out to calabasas with the radio tuned to the basketball games i was missing on tv.  i got my car, didn't pay for a single thing (not even gas for the rental), and laughed on the inside when the dealer guy told me to give him 10 stars when volvo called for an evaluation of the under-warranty fix.  he said that if i didn't give him 10 stars, "i fail as a volvo employee and you fail as a customer."  um, excuse me?  i fail as a customer?!?  customers do not fail!  his entire job is to serve me, he did a crappy job of it, and i will inform volvo of that -- maybe in better words, but i will.  honest survey responses are really important to me.  i do market research (begrudgingly), and i want honest responses.  the least i can do is be honest in other people's surveys.  and now i have my own car!  (i'm ignoring the big dent in the side for at least a couple more days.)  i never thought i'd be so happy to drive it, but i am! :)  and who knew i'd miss the tachometer so much?!?  i mean, it doesn't have a manual transmission.  but i seriously needed it in the mazda (which didn't have one) when i'm sure i was close to maxing that thing out trying to get it through the canyon at 55.  ok, so anyway, yeah, i'm happy to see my tachometer! :)

this evening was spent watching basketball.  :)  no, life doesn't get better than that, let me tell you.  and i also talked to dad, who's home alone now because mom and adam are in tahoe snowboarding.  and i talked to them, as well.  and i decided what i'm cooking for our little easter lunch.  i wish there were going to be more people around for me to impressing with my mad cooking skills, but it's going to be wonderful and the rest of you are just going to have to be jealous and convince me to cook for you another time. :)  i even made myself an ingredients list for when i get to the grocery tomorrow.  actually, i got my fabulous new cookbook from my second-favorite food network chef, giada de laurentiis, in the mail today, so i'm stoked and cooking out of it. :)

and then there was coffeehouse.  this afternoon, wednesday called to tell me that there was a coffeehouse tonight and not only was she performing (i love to hear her sing) but so was brian jones, pepp alum who's so brilliantly wonderful and talented and all-around fantastic!  ok, so as the games were wrapping up, i headed down to school.  i almost didn't go because i was tired and already in my sweats, but i got dressed, went to school, and was so happy! :)  wednesday was, of course, so great!  she has a great voice, and i always love the songs she chooses.  and brian jones did mostly original stuff, all of which i loved.  seriously.  hearing wednesday and brian sing live in front of a few people in the sandbar makes me wish so badly that i had the power and resources to get them recorded and out to the public.  some day.  they'll be the ones i remember and find when i do have the resources.

so thursday treated me well, and i'm looking forward to friday. :)  errands in the morning, and back by 4, in time to see the basketball games.

wednesday 23 march 2005 10:05pm

"well an airplane's faster than a cadillac
and a whole lot smoother than a camel's back
but i don't care how you get to me
just get to me
parasail or first class mail
get on the back of a nightingale
just get to me i don't care just get to me
prokeds mopeds take a limousine instead
they ain't cheap but they're easy to find
get on the highway point yourself my way
take a roller coaster that comes in sideways
just get to me yeah
go on hitch a ride on the back
of a butterfly
there's not better way to fly
to get to me
i look around at what i got
and without you it ain't a lot
but i got every with you everything...
'cause after every day
the wind blows the night time my way
and i imagine that you are
above me like a star
and you keep on glowing
and you keep on showing me the way" -- train "get to me"

yeah, the lyrics are exceptionally long.  i liked them, though. :)

ok, so today was wednesday, and it started like pretty much all wednesdays do.  i got up too early, i got cleaned up and dressed (new shoes!), and i headed to convocation.  oh, convo.  it's just not really that good.  anyway, i brought in part of my dusty campaign (that's how i will be referring to it from now on) and worked on that while not really listening to the speakers.  i actually got a lot done, amazingly!  i'm trying to come up with as many different ways to advertise, market, and promote dusty as possible and i need to get them all from imagination onto paper.  it's coming along, though.

after convo, i headed up to the ccb.  i had planned to meet with debbie for a little bit and go over my dusty campaign, but she was busy in a meeting, so i didn't bother her.  instead, i got to work on scanning some stuff and starting on my layout for graphic arts.

eventually, i had to head to comm ethics.  today's class was quite good, actually.  the vp of production at e! and style networks, jeff shore, came in to talk to us about e! and ethics and all sorts of things like that.  he's quite an interesting guy, and though i've seen him speak before, i still enjoyed listening to what he had to say.

after class, it was back to the computer lab, there i spent my afternoon -- in its entirety -- working on my layout for graphic arts.  i eventually finished it, but it was a lot of work.  and i also got started on converting the much love storyboard from paper to illustrator.  i rock! :)

and then, of course, it was back to class again.  5.5 people showed up.  yeah.  that's not nearly enough.  but stu went on with class, anyway, as he should.  he is recovering from his gastric bypass surgery.  he's lost 21 pounds in the past two weeks, he says!  i could tell!  crazy!  gross, but kind of incredible.  and class was good, if also boring, because i came up with more ideas for my dusty campaign.  this is going to be a ton of work, but i'm getting on it.

and tonight, i came home, ate (for the first time in way too many hours), watched "sex and the city," and talked to the family.  it's been good, oddly.  there are still people missing from the whole equation, but things change all the time.  ok, so i'm off to bed early with hopes for a good thursday!

tuesday 22 march 2005 10:31pm

"i feel so foolish, i never noticed
you'd act so nervous, could you be falling for me
it took a rumor to make me wonder
now i'm convinced i'm going under
thinking 'bout you every day
dreaming 'bout you every night
i'm hoping that you feel the same way
now that we know, let's really show it, dearlin'
let's give them something to talk about
a little mystery to figure out
let's give them something to talk about
how about love, love, love, love" -- bonnie raitt "something to talk about"

so after meg left this morning, i got cleaned up a bit and then got straight to work.  somehow i ended up spending several hours today working on my campaign for 575.  you know, the one for the fictional new country singer.  he has officially been named (though i always reserve the right to change his name if i feel like it).  dusty james.  what do you think?  i think it's fitting for a young, up-and-coming country star. :)  and i added up all sorts of survey data (so tedious and time consuming!) and am working on ideas for how to get this guy's name and song everywhere.  it's coming along, though, which makes me happy!

it was a bit of an emo day, as meg would put it.  the whole combination of everything that's going on in my life and the rainy weather and never actually leaving the house today that makes for a less than perfect day.  however, i'm alright.

i talked to the family tonight.  they're doing fine.  i talked to adam for longer than usual about nothing in particular but it was fun! :)  i love that he grew into an actual human being, i love that we know each other freakishly well, and i love that he does 18 other things when i'm talking to him on the phone.

and now i just want to spread the word about "nashville star."  it seriously is the best reality show on tv.  i think i've sort of given up on "american idol" (at least for now) because i don't really love the contestants.  when i watch "nashville star," i love all of them.  it's like they took the actual most talented people for their show and left the rest to "ai."  i cannot even decide on like a top 5 (of the 7 remaining) contestants.  i love them!  they're great!  any of them could win and be really successful.  it blows my mind week after week.  also, they start performing original music next week, which is the best thing ever!  these are people who really have been trying to make it in nashville for years and years and have great material that i'm so stoked to hear!  ok, so watch it.  tuesdays at 10 on usa.  that is all. :)

so i'm watching the end of "nashville star" and then i'm off to bed early.  hope you are all well. :)

tuesday 22 march 2005 11:07am

"let's just say it's raining
and you come in where it's dry
and we strike a conversation
while the storm is rolling by
do you think that you
could fall in love with me
hypothetically
we may be somewhere walking
and i try to steal a kiss
would you recognize the moment
for the magic that it is
could you imagine just how sweet
that kiss could be
hypothetically
am i dreaming, dreaming
do the decent think and let me know
but if you believe in fate
why should be speculate
let's go ahead and carve this thing in stone" -- the wilkinsons "hypothetically"

so i know it's been awhile.  but things are busy.  however, right now seems like a good time to write about what's been going on the past two days.  here you go.  sorry for the delay.

sunday was a basketball day for the most part.  i watched pretty much all the games possible. :)  and i did homework at the same time because at some point i have to be at least responsible enough to do the minimal amounts of work.  oh, and i talked to katie for awhile, which was good!  i probably really needed that.

after all the games were said and done and everyone's ready to move on to the next round of games, meg came over.  she was in la for a few days during the start of her spring break.  the two of us needed some girl time together, and that's what we got. :)  we went down to coogies for dinner, which was good.  elizabeth berkeley (jesse on "saved by the bell") was at the next table with her parents, brother, and husband.  i know this because people kept going up to her and asking to take pictures with her and stuff so she'd introduce who she was with.  no, meg and i did not take photos with her or bother her at all.  i think that sort of goes against some sort of unofficial malibu code of behavior.  and then a few minutes before we were ready to leave, a real celebrity walked in!  john cusack!  so that was a huge celebrity sighting, especially since meg has a big crush on him!  no, we didn't bother him either.  then we went to malibu yo for some peanut butter soft serve, which was quite delicious.  we brought it back to the apartment and talked over ice cream because that's what meg and i do.  it was really good.

yesterday (monday), was a bit busier.  at times, just crazy.  i got up really, really early.  i wanted to get my car to the volvo dealer around 7:45 because i wanted to get that seat belt fixed as quickly as possible. the car's not really that drivable without it.  so i headed up there and left them my car.  they gave me a ride to school, which was convenient.

graphic arts was fine.  we're just working with quark, but we're doing really basic stuff that i've actually learned before (in the class that was a prerequisite for this class).  whatever.  it's fine.

after class, meg picked me up and we went to grab lunch at la salsa.  then we went back to school and meg came to ginger's class with me.  people always bring their friends to that class, and i wasn't the only one yesterday.  we had a guest speaker, which was good.  and then we got time for our groups to meet with him and get feedback from him on our projects.  that went well, except for the time crunch that always happens when we have group meetings.

the meg and i headed to the valley to go shoe shopping.  we had talked about doing that the night before, so it seemed like a good thing to do.  plus, i could tell i was really tired because i was irritable, so something relaxing like shopping might help things.  we had a good time doing that and found some cute stuff!

i also heard about my car while shoe shopping.  they need to order (no the part's not in stock) an entirely new seat belt for my car.  super.  and he didn't want to give me a rental car, even though it's all under warranty and everything.  but i made him do it anyway.  and then i got the stripped mazda protege because i'm not 25 and therefore ineligible for a volvo, like everyone else gets.  and don't tell me that they're both fords.  and i might be lucky enough to get my car back tomorrow (cross your fingers).  at least i don't have class today and have lots of work to do so i can just sit here all day and work away, never needing the mazda.  am i really this stuck up?  i have come to the conclusion that i am.  how do you people deal with me?!?

anyway, so meg dropped me off at the volvo dealer last night so i could finally get my rental car and then she went to have dinner with another one of her friends, and i just went home.  i made some phone calls.  theresa turned 16(!!!) and passed her driver's license test and got a 2004 mustang from her parents!  it's been a good time for her!  i also talked to the family and to my aunt and uncle.

meg came back after her dinner, and we watched tony hawk be the victim on "csi: miami," which was fun!  i cannot believe that all these years later, i'm still such a tony hawk fan. :)  he's just so cool!

meg left this morning, and i need to get to work.  more later, as always...

sunday 20 march 2005 12:09am

"there'll come a time you die
if you could only hold her
'cause i know that's where i am
so listen with all your heart
hold it inside forever
you may find all your dreams have already come true
look inside and find the part that's leading you
'cause that's the beat of a heart" -- the warren brothers "that's the beat of a heart"

do you know what time of year it is?  yes, that is correct!  march madness! :)  this means that i'm doing a lot of watching basketball, which is why i figured combining 2 days' entries would be perfectly fine. :)  so here's what i have been up to lately...

i've spent outrageous amounts of time watching basketball.  like more than i really should admit to.  however, i have not seen every single game, and i have ventured out of the house despite good games being played.  so don't worry too much that i'm just 100% holed up in my nice little room watching one game on the tv and another on the computer.  um, so my bracket is officially destroyed, which i take as wonderful news.  for the most part, the more destroyed that it is, the better the tournament is because of all the upsets.  and man, have there been some amazing ones!  and we're only 1.5 rounds through.  that's 4.5 rounds left! :)  we're so excited!

sometimes there are things that you want to do so badly because the payoff is potentially beautifully life-changing, but the other possible outcome is wholly devastating.

last night i met sarah at school for songfest.  if you're an ndb girl, it's similar to aquacades, except slightly higher quality.  groups (generally greek, but sometimes not) put on short musicals, generally using existing music (like obscure boyband and personal favorite 5ive).  it's fun!  and then there are 6 hosts who sing in between each musical, and they are the major highlight of the show.  well, this was my second (and most likely last) songfest (freshman year i was in sacramento watching the men's basketball team play in the first round of the tournament, and sophomore year i was in london), and i thought it was quite good.  all the groups were good.  none of them deserved big hooks yanking them off stage.  :)  so it was fun!

tonight, i drove sarah and russell to lax because they're london-bound.  a week in london.  sounds like good fun to me!!!  and then i headed back to malibu to watch our men's volleyball team beat pacific 3-0.  i guess it was a rough day for pacific athletics, with their men's basketball team getting beat by washington.  on my way to the game, my seat belt tightened and wouldn't untighten, so i took it off to try ti put it back on again.  however, i couldn't get it to come back out once it retracted.  and i still can't.  stupid seat belt.  i'm not sure what to do about this, other than not drive my car.  i'll have to head up to the volvo dealer asap -- without getting spotted by a cop.  grr.  this is not good.

ok, and i spent the rest of the night relaxing.  i listened to come cds.  i put up all new stuff on my little bulletin board.  i did a lot of nothing, and it was nice. :)

i guess no palm sunday mass tomorrow morning for me since i don't want to drive my car.  sad.  and 8 more basketball games tomorrow!  fun stuff!

thursday 17 march 2005 10:45pm

"honey, i know you've been alone some
why don't you phone some? 'cause i love you
and honey, i' know i've been away some
i've had to pay some, and you have too
but the one think i know: that when i turn out the light
visions of you, dear, dance in the night...
i just can't stand being alone
gonna have to change that some day
get a restless feeling in my bones and i know
that at times it just won't go away" -- alison krauss and union station "restless"

happy st. patrick's day!  kiss me, i'm irish!

you know you don't want to be in class when your professor is grumpy and insists on your complete attention while she teaches the same thing she spent the previous class teaching.  what's the deal?  we told dana that she already told us how to save our illustrator files for web (something that really only takes about 3 seconds), but she insisted on teaching the lesson again, even though we all already had our files on the web.  on her website.  and when people weren't paying attention, she got all upset and insisted that we listen because she was teaching us something that we really needed to know.  i'm telling you, she really is crazy.  so i just put espn.com up on my screen and watched the scores of the first 4 games of the morning.  oh, and we started quark.  i was relieved to realize that i actually do already know how to use it! :)  i win!

after class, i had a two-hour break, so i grabbed a computer in the ccb lounge and watching live streaming video of the 4 basketball games being played. :)  yes, i'm that cool!  haha!  i mean, it seemed like a really good way to spend that time to me, so that's what i did.  and by the way, yes it was so great!

then it was time for our meetings with much love in ginger's class.  it was a bit crazy sorting through which group got to go first, second, third, etc., but it worked out fine for me.  it's a big deal because ginger is incapable of budgeting time, so the last couple groups don't get as much time.  at this is a competition.  time with the client is really important.  last time, we got 5 minutes because we were last and didn't actually go into the meeting until our class was officially over.  anyway, we met with people from much love, got great feedback about the campaign, and are ready to finish it up in the next couple weeks! :)  with a little espionage work, i got sneak peeks of a couple other campaigns and was not impressed.  i think we have some major competition from one other group and i don't know what they're up to at all.  we shall see.

and of course, i spent the next couple hours watching more basketball.  i had one game on the tv and another on the computer.  honestly, i could have used 2 more screens!  haha!  yeah, i'm that crazy.  but anyway, it was a fun day of ball.  my bracket is already completely destroyed, but that's just fine with me.  i mean, i'm always rooting for a good upset. :)  and you know there are 16 more games tomorrow!  yeah yeah! ;)

then i went off to the men's volleyball game at school against usc.  usc doesn't have a great men's team, but they were pretty tough.  it took us four games to win, which was more than expected, frankly.  but it was good fun! :)

and now i'm catching up on some scores and some reading and i'll head to bed early.  gotta be up for those 10am starts tomorrow, right?  well, maybe just half-awake and still tucked away in bed. :)

wednesday 16 march 2005 10:51pm

"so complicated, so frustrated...
should i say it?
should i tell you how i feel?...
oh, just when i think i'm under control
i think i finally got a grip
another friend tells me that
my name is always on your lips...
oh, it's so confusing
i wish you'd just confess
but think of what i'd be losin'
if your answer wasn't yes" -- carolyn dawn johnson "complicated"

ok, so i know that those words were really pieced together from that song, but too bad.  that's just how they are.

ok, so i again find myself completely exhausted so i'm going to make this brief.  a girl's gotta get her beauty rest, you know!  haha!

so i got up, got clean, and went to convo.  don't ask me what went on there, because i spent the entire time just studying my notes for comm ethics.  it seemed like a good way to use my time.  anyway, then i went up to the comm building and spent my free hour wrapping up studying.  there weren't many people up there but someone was in the lounge watching "family guy" episodes on their computer out loud and laughing a lot.  seriously?  you have got to be kidding me.  does anyone think this behavior is ok?  it for sure is not.  so i put on the headphones, listened to some sean watkins (bluegrass guitar), and finished studying.   then i gave myself half an hour to think about something else (i usually like to have that before an exam) so i read "living."  :)

the comm ethics midterm went well.  no surprises.  i filled that bluebook, though, and my hand was for sure tired by the end.  i guess i have a lot of opinions on how to be ethical.

then i came home with the intention of getting some work done.  well, let's just say that i got less done than i had planned.  oh, well.  i also fell asleep on accident for about half an hour.  apparently, i needed that little nap.

then i went to campaigns.  stu was out this week because he had surgery, so debbie filled in.  she's the one who should actually teach this class, so her guidance was extremely helpful.  she also gave me some big compliments before class started, so i'm stoked!  so stoked!

and tonight, i've mostly just talked to friends and family.  sometimes that makes things feel better, even if nothing actually changed.

wednesday 16 march 2005 12:15am

"when you skipped town i was such a mess
so i found some things to do instead
trick is to find something to occupy your mind
now i spend more days chasing mine
it's not like i don't have tears to cry
such memories, so little time
this box of photographs to go through one by one
there's just so much work to get done
i'm cuddling up to kiss you
and i can't be bothered now to miss you anymore" -- miranda lambert "i can't be bothered"

the stars with back up hanging in the malibu night sky tonight.  and i love that.

um, i know i did a lot today, but none of it will make for a compelling journal entry.  that's how the most productive tuesdays turn out. :)

ok, so i got up, got clean, and headed out.  there were errands to be taken care of and the earlier the better.  i made it to woodland hills, grabbed a jamba juice really quickly, and then went to target.  i needed a couple price adjustments from last week's purchases.  also, i picked up the brand new mirada lambert album.  it wasn't even out in the store yet.  i had to have someone get it from the back for me.  it's very good!  i'm impressed!  quite impressed.  then i went to the car wash, which was totally necessary and a good thing to do on a beautifully sunny day.  then i went to the grocery for a few essentials (milk).

this afternoon was spent studying for my comm ethics midterm tomorrow.  i'm ethical.  it should be fine, right?  i hope so!  we shall see.  plus, there's always good study time during convo tomorrow morning! ;)

i watched oakland (of rochester, mi) beat alabama a&m in the "first round game" that is really a play-in game, even though no one's allowed to call it that.  it was a fun game!  and i'm totally rooting for 13-18 oakland!  haha!  this marks the official beginning of the tourney!

tonight, i ordered take-away from spumoni's (where everyone there seems to know who i am) and brought it to sarah who was busy slaving away on the school magazine, which has to be finished by friday.  i figured she could use some gnocchi!  and liz pitched in a diet coke for an all-around excellent meal!  then i scanned some photos for her and also discovered a 6-pack of guinness hidden in the computer lab, which i find hilarious!  and i proofread some stories for her, as well.  she needed the help, and had the hours.

and now i'm off to bed.  need some sleep before tomorrow's exam.  good night! :)

tuesday 15 march 2005 12:25am

"i like the feel of your name on my lips
and i like the sound of your sweet gentle kiss
the way that your fingers run through my hair
and how your scent lingers even when you're not there
and i like the way your eyes dance when you laugh...
and how you convinced me to dance in the rain
with everyone watching like we were insane
but i love the way you love me
strong and wild
slow and easy
heart and soul
so completely
i love the way you love me" -- john michael montgomery "i love the way you love me"

um.  i <3 march madness. :)  yes, yes i do!  but don't ask me about my bracket(s?) yet because they're not done.  my research (yes, i'm that big of a dork.  actually, it's more because i can't watch as many games as i might like during the actual season) is not quite complete yet.  but i have ideas about where the bracket is going. :)  you know you're waiting with bated breath.

for the second day in a row, that stupid alarm clock woke me up.  oh, well.  such is the monday schedule.  and i guess i can't complain that much because i went to bed so early last night that i actually got 9 full hours of sleep, which nearly never happens if an alarm clock is involved.  so anyway, got clean, got dressed, got fed, and got out out the door on time.

graphic arts this morning was a bit hectic with me trying to finish up the magazine layout that was going to be due at the end of class.  i was mostly done (after like 10 hours over the weekend -- at least 10 i remember), but i had serious work to accomplish.  it happened, though, so i'm stoked!  it turned out really well!  so that got turned in and now i have a little, itsy, bitsy break from homework in that class!  rawk!

then i went down to main campus to mail some stuff off and also check my own mail (new j.crew catalogue!).  i also had to procure bluebooks for a midterm on wednesday in debbie's class, as well as my "usa today" because it has a big section on the tournament profiling every team.  this is what will be called me "research."  i'll read it and then make my bracket(s). :)  again, you're so excited.

then i went all the way up to my car (which is quite a walk) to fetch my hat.  my straw cowboy hat.  sarah actually needed it for a photo for the magazine, so i brought it to her office.  then i ended up hanging out there and distracting her from all the work she was supposed to be doing until my next class.  she had chocolates and she bought me a cookie! :)  somehow, though, i promised sarah to do some graphics work for the magazine.  she conned me into it, i swear! ;)  or maybe not...

and then there was ginger's class.  most of the class we got to meet with our groups, which was excellent because we have a huge draft due next class.  i found out that we got special feedback from gerry/jerry last week that i didn't know about.  and apparently, she raved about it to ginger!  this is extremely exciting, even if she's not a judge and was just looking at it because she owns her own advertising agency so is knowledgeable in the industry.  anyway, we got some serious feedback, and we're moving forward, and from what we can guess our campaign is coming along much nicer than the others.  this is good. :)

and this afternoon, i spent many hours creating an illustrator fingerprint for sarah.  many hours.  but it turned out really rad!  and it'll go in the magazine, so yeah.  should be cool! :)  and it helps me get better at illustrator to do stuff like this.  i also have this photo of meg that i want to illsutrate, but i just don't have the hours for a little art project like that right now.  but eventually, hopefully!  and i spent some more time with my much love stuff so that can be ready for thursday.  so far, so good!

plus, i spent some serious time talking to people about the tournament.  well, troy and i had detailed discussions about certain teams.  we agree on nothing, as usual. :)  and i talked to adam on the phone and we went through his whole bracket (hard to do if you're not actually looking at one), which was cool.  he picks with his heart as much as i do, even if he won't admit it.

so here i am, middle of the night and still not asleep.  tomorrow will involve a whole lot of studying for comm ethics.  a lot.  seriously.  i also have errands and cleaning to take care of, but we'll see if that actually happens.  hope you had a good pi day!

sunday 13 march 2005 9:44pm

"i'm driving fast now
don't think i know how to go slow
where you at now
i feel around
there you are
cool these engines
calm these jets
i ask you how hot it can get
and as you wipe beads of sweat
slowly you say, 'i'm not there yet'
i know i don't know you
but i want you so bad
everyone has a secret
but can they keep it
oh no they can't" -- maroon 5 "secret"

selection sunday truly is one of my favorite sports days of the year! :)  i love it!

so i got up early this morning so i could go to mass.  8am mass at our lady of malibu seemed like a good time to go, so that's what i did.  and it was a good mass.  and afterward, i was totally craving a donut, as so often happens after attending sunday morning mass, so i went over to ralphs and picked up donuts and a newspaper.  life rocks when i can spend sunday going to mass, having a donut, and reading the newspaper, let me tell you! :)

of course there were 6 basketball games to be watched today, as well!  all conference championships! :)  so i watched those and did homework and talked to my brother on the phone.  yes, i have become quite good at multi-tasking in my 21 years. ;)  the basketball was awesome, even if i always have my complaints, as well.

then came the women's selection special.  my stanford women got robbed, as they're the #1 team in the nation and got a #2 seed, but i think they'll actually play better as a #2 -- a bit more hungry and feeling disrespected.  i love coach vanderveer for being the consummate professional and never expressing disappointment or feeling ripped off.  she's so cool! but it looks like it'll be an awesome tourney on the women's side!

and then, the men!  it's what i've been waiting for for weeks.  it's what i've been reading about since the season started.  i love this stuff!  so i think the seeding is a bit messed up, but it always is every year, so there you go.  i'm excited to see the whole think play out.  and i haven't yet assembled my bracket -- which, if history is any indication, will surely be destroyed by some team i happen to overlook -- but i won't be getting to that until after i purchase and read tomorrow's "usa today."  and of course, i talked to the brother through the whole selection special, while we complained and celebrated and picked out some random fun teams to root for. :)  it was great!

tonight, i wrapped up my paper for comm ethics.  i had planned to put that off until tuesday, but i ended up just writing it today, so go me!  i win!  and i had dinner.  and i talked to my cousin brenda for a few minutes.  and i did my nails for the first time in ages.  pink! :)  and i think i'm going to try to get to bed early tonight.  i'm sleepy and i actually feel decently in control of the school work for this week.  plus, i have to be well rested by thursday because there are 48 games of basketball from thursday-sunday!

saturday 12 march 2005 10:44pm

"but i cannot forget
refuse to regret
so glad i met  you
take my breath away
make every day
worth all of the pain that i have
gone through
and mama i've been cryin'
'cause things ain't how they used to be
she said the battle's almost won
and we're only several miles form the sun
the rhythm of her conversation
the perfection of her creation
the sex she slipped into my coffee
the way she felt when she first saw me
hate to love and love to hate her
like a broken record player
back and forth and here and gone
and on and on and on and on" -- maroon 5 "the sun"

today was a good day.  :)

i slept in because that's what happens when you party hardy like i do! ;)  haha!  well, at least i was up really late last night so i ended up sleeping that what might be considered normal.  and i still <3 maroon 5 and phantom planet for putting on such a good show last night.  so when i did finally wake up this morning (yes, it was still technically morning), basketball was already in full swing.

i have this problem.  i can completely lose track of time when doing certain things.  doing two of those things at the same time means i am definitely, without a doubt, going to lose track of time.  well, here's how i spent several continuous hours of my day.  i was at my computer working on a graphic arts project in illustrator.  yeah, that'll suck up hours pretty quickly.  but i now consider myself quite proficient in illustrator, which was the sole purpose of me taking this class, so i win. :)  and while i was working, i had basketball on tv.  lots of basketball.  game after game after game on 3 channels.  yeah, that also somehow sucks away the hours.  so i started around noon and all of a sudden it was evening.  haha!  but i got a lot of stuff done and i saw some good games (and by "saw" i mean "listened to") so i'm pleased.

then i got cleaned up and met sarah at spumoni for dinner.  we were greeted with "nice to see you again"s, which still kind of trips me out, even though i know i eat there all the time with sarah. :)  dinner was excellent!  and then sarah and i headed over to the fieldhouse for the volleyball game.  yes, i realize it's the biggest match of the season, and yes, we were quite late, but i had no idea how crowded it was going to be.  the closest parking i could find was all the way by the track, and if you know the campus you know that's a long walk from the fieldhouse.  anyway, sarah decided she didn't love the volleyballers quite enough to make the hike, so she went to do work, and i went to the game.  oh.  my.  goodness.  it was such an awesome game!  we're ranked #2 (though really that was silly because everyone knows that after sweeping hawaii you deserve to be #1), and we were playing #1 ucla, looking to avenge our only loss of the season.  well, the fieldhouse was packed and i found myself a seat (on the grown-ups side where i never, ever sit), and i cheered my boys to victory 3-2!  it doesn't get better than that, let me tell you! :)  it was so much fun!

and now i'm home watching the last of the basketball for the night.  only a few more games tomorrow and then the brackets will be announced!  it's selection sunday, one of the best sundays of the year! :)

saturday 12 march 2005 1:15am

"i drove for miles and miles
and wound up at your door
i've had you so many times but somehow
i want more
i don't mind spending every day
out on your corner in the pouring rain
look for the girl with the broken smile
ask her if she wants to stay awhile
and she will be loved
she will be loved
tap on my window, knock on my door
i want to make you feel beautiful
i know i tend to get so insecure
it doesn't matter anymore" -- maroon 5 "she will be loved"

today rocked!  haha! ;)

so i got up this morning, got cleaned up, and headed out.  first stop: calabasas volvo.  i needed an estimate, and they referred me to a place in reseda.  that was the next stop.  luckily, the people ther were really nice and helped me out and never looked at me like i was an idiot, which i appreciate. :)  so i got that all under control.

then i went to woodland hills to the mall.  katie called on the way, so i ended up just sitting in my car talking to her for awhile.  we really needed to catch up on stuff!  plus, it was an absolutely gorgeous day out there, like 90 degrees, so you know i was happy just hanging out outside. :)  i also drove around all day with the sunroof open, which is generally happy!  and then i grabbed a quick bite in the food court and picked up a pair of pants from american eagle because it was totally necessary and i had a coupon.

then it was back home to foggy malibu.  i got dressed and pretty, and then liz and i headed out to universal city.  we gave ourselves  a ton of time because driving into la on 101 on a friday night is always messy and never a good idea.  well, apparently the traffic gods were smiling upon us because the traffic was not bad at all.  like i was going 60.  seriously.  and i've driven that stretch often in the middle of the day or the middle of the night and it's been bumper to bumper.  come to think of it, it's always bumper to bumper.  but not tonight!!! :)  so we arrived early to universal amphitheatre, which was fine because it's at citywalk, so we grabbed dinner before going into the theatre.

phantom planet opened the show.  i'd only heard a few of their songs before (they sing the theme song to "the o.c."), but i'd liked it.  well, they were fantastic!  they played maybe a 6 or 7-song opening set.  very impressive, i must say!  and i totally have rock star crush on their lead singer, alexander greenwald, because he was so great and so funny and has rock star hair.  just wonderful! :)  so i'm totally going to invest in some phantom planet music in the near future, because you know that's how i am.

and then there was maroon 5!!!  here's their set list (which i memorized because i'm a dork like that and really wanted to)

shiver
through with you
tangled
harder to breathe
the sun
wasting years (a new song)
secret
not coming home / another brink in the wall (pink floyd)
this love
must get out
i can't stop thinking about you (a new song -- so wonderful!)
sunday morning
sweetest goodbye
------------------------------------
she will be loved
seven nation army (white stripes)
highway to hell (ac/dc)

they were great live!  full of energy and loud and just how live music is supposed to be.  the sound was good.  very good.  the seats were decent, even if we were about as fas as you could get, because it was such a small venue.  the set was a bit shorter than i had expected, but i guess that's what happens when the headlining band only has one studio album recorded.  and my big pet peeve is when bands end their shows with cover songs, which i dislike even more if it's 2 cover songs, as is so often the case.  you just carried me through a whole show and i'm stoked on the band and the music and then you degenerate into a cover band.  don't do it.  but they were still SO good that i'm ok. :)  my absolute favorite maroon 5 song is "sunday morning," which they did so well!  and i loved that "this love" started out as just adam and the crowd singing.  so fantastic!  ok, so yeah.  the show was great.  you get the idea. :)  and if you need to know more, just ask.

friday 11 march 2005 12:05am

i'm tired.  quite tired.  but here goes...

i've never had as much trouble parking in the morning as i did today.  it seriously took me forever.  i barely made it to class by 10. not sure what was going on, but whatever.  graphic arts was fine.  we turned in our projects and started new ones.  we're replicating magazine layouts in illustrator, which makes no sense at all and we'll do it properly in quark in a few weeks.  not sure what's going on there, but it's alright.  the layout i found in "shop etc." magazine is pretty rad, even if it'll take some serious dedication from me this weekend to complete.  i stayed after class to work on this a bit, but somehow data got lost between there and home so i had to start over tonight anyway.

a random guy sat with me in the ccb lounge because there were no more tables.  i'd never ever do that.  crazy.

creative was also kind of silly today.  we were meant to have a guest speaker for the first hour and then each group would have time to meet with her to get a little feedback on the progress of our campaigns.  well, she arrived half an hour late and then spent the next half hour talking with ginger, so she got started an hour late, so that cut out the meeting part of class, which was going to be the actual valuable part.  super.  oh, well.

then i came home, did something i can't recall right now, and yeah.

sarah and i went to coogies for dinner, which was good! :)  boys dining together apparently talk about cars.  pepperdine boys dining together talk about how they're about to drop $50,000 on a new car but need help deciding which car to purchase.  that is SO not my life.

then i went to the men's volleyball game against uc irvine.  we won.  of course! :)  because we're so supremely awesome!  no one in the world knows how we're ranked #2 behind ucla.  (except the 10 people who voted that way, but we're mad at them and thus overlooking them.)

and i came home, hammered out some serious illustrator stuff, watched the stanford men advance to the semis of the pac-10 tourney, put together a bus shelter ad for much love, and watched ewan and jay get into a water fight.  lots of work, but also lots of tv. :)

tomorrow, maroon 5!

wednesday 9 march 2005 10:29pm

today was long.  i think that sums it up.  actual information is being passed out on a need-to-know basis.  i'm just going to put lyrics in this entry because that's about as much as i really feel like writing here.

"i been down about as low as anyone can get
the whole world was closin' in
couldn't find a friend
no one else could help me
had to walk through the fire alone
life has brought me to my knees
and faith has led me home

let the storm rage around me
i will stand, i will fight
and when the darkness surrounds me
i will make my own light
i may not win every battle
but i'll get stronger with every fear i face
and i'll be brave

i can be courageous and still be so afraid
i've discovered pain is the beginning to a change
somewhere deep inside us
there's a strength we don't know we have
just when you think you can't go on
suddenly there's a path

let the storm rage around me
i will stand, i will fight
and when the darkness surrounds me
i will make my own light
i may not win every battle
but i'll get stronger with every fear i face
and i'll be brave

every time i get back up it gets harder to knock me down
'cause my soul's on steady ground

let the storm rage around me
i will stand, i will fight
and when the darkness surrounds me
i will make my own light
i may not win every battle
but i'll get stronger with every fear i face
and i'll be brave

i'll be brave" -- jamie o'neal "brave"

wednesday 9 march 2005 12:07am

"brave, i'm not that brave, but there's not a day
i wouldn't take on the world for you
and fight, baby i'd die
there's nothing i wouldn't go through just for you
my heart is eternally yours
just to be in your arms is what i'm living for
i'll do whatever it takes
to hold on to you love
swim every ocean
if that's not enough
walk to the ends of the earth
through the pouring rain
to hold on to your love
i'll do whatever it takes" -- kellie coffey "whatever it takes"

i feel like i should have a lot to write, but i am also pretty sure that as i start to sum up today it won't be particularly interesting to anyone other than myself.  oh, well.  you read this out of your own free will, so here it is... :)

so i stayed up later than normal last night because i knew i didn't have all that much to do today.  well, at 10am, the piano that resides directly above my bed was being played.  a lot.  seriously.  so that was the end of my sleeping in.  but that was alright.  i spent a little time checking email and sorting through responses to the survey.  (thanks to everyone who did that, by the way.)  and i eventually got cleaned up, threw on some jeans and my new locals, and headed out.

i went up to woodland hills because i needed to exchange something at target.  it was an absolutely gorgeous day up there!  so sunny and warm and wonderful, just like i've been wanting it to be! :)  i stopped at jamba juice to pick up a citrus squeeze for lunch and then headed over to target.  all i needed to do was exchange a tank top.  well, i ended up browsing, and you know that was trouble!  i tried on loads of clothes (like enough that i couldn't take all the items into the dressing room at once and had to try things on in shifts) and eventually settled on a new skirt. :)  excellent!  and then i went to albertsons to pick up a few groceries so that i can eat for the next few days.  that was the true chore that needed to be accomplished today.

this afternoon, i got home in time to watch most of meg's radio show online.  it has a live audio and video feed.  she had one of her friends, noah, in studio with her playing 80s music.  good stuff!

and then i watched basketball and did homework.  i worked on designing a bus shelter poster for much love, wrapped up my illustration for graphic arts, and compiled some more survey stuff.

this afternoon was a night of tv. :)  i mean, i had a few hours on my hands, so i took full advantage!  first it was "american idol."  the girls just aren't as good as the boys, in my opinion, so it wasn't as good as last night, but it was still fun.  and then i watched the second half of "she's all that" because it was on and i love that movie.  and then it was "nashville star."  this is the second week, but i missed last week because i was on an airplane.  anyway, i love this show so much!  it's like the more legitimate version of "ai."  i loved all but 1 of the 10 contestants!  i mean, i for sure can't say that about "ai."  so anyway, that was fantastic!  plus, leann rimes makes a good host, and phil vassar -- who is one of my favorite people ever -- is a judge!  so that will be the biggest tuesday night tv addiction for the next 10 weeks or so.

and now i'm just hanging out.  ginger wants to put some of my hawaii photos on her website.  i'm already currently on the front page of it with some of my classmates because she puts new photos there every few days and right now i'm there.  and i'm tired now, so i'm going to try to get some sleep before convo tomorrow morning. only 5 more convos for me ever!

tuesday 8 march 2005 12:51am

"rain falls angry on the tin roof
as we lie awake in my bed
you're my survival, you're my living proof
my love is alive and not dead
tell me that we belong together
dress it up with the trapping of love
i'll be captivated, i'll hang from your lips
instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
i'll be your cryin' shoulder
i'll be love suicide
i'll be better when i'm older
i'll be the greatest fan of your life
i've dropped out, burned up, fought my way back from the dead
turned in, turned on, remembered the things you said" -- edwin mccain "i'll be"

oh, man.  i feel like i've been staring at a computer screen all day.  oh, wait.  i have been staring at a computer screen all day.  ok.

so for some reason i woke up in a panic at 7:30 this morning.  and then i couldn't get back to sleep for the one hour i had left.  but i also did not want to get out of bed because i knew that i needed to put in more work on my graphic arts project that was supposed to be done this morning and was far from finished.  i just tried to fall back asleep for an hour while worrying about the fact that my project wasn't done.  it doesn't work, let me tell you.  anyway, i got up when the alarm finally went off, got cleaned up, skipped breakfast because i don't have any food here after being gone for a week and a half, and worked on that project for a bit.

eventually, i just headed off to school.  i figured i'd be fine.  well, i couldn't get my file open because i'm working on a newer version of illustrator on my computer than what we have in the lab at school.  anyway, it was a big mess, but it wasn't a big deal that i couldn't get it open.  i mean, it wasn't as ready as it should have been anyway. :)  so whatever.  my illustrator skills are coming along, though, and i'm stoked about this!  class was far too long this morning, but i survived between just messing around with the different tools and reading the news online.

after class, i had two hours to kill.  i thought i'd be working on my graphic arts project, but since i couldn't get my file open (let me just tell you that this is something that never happens to me) i wans't going to be doing that.  i went down to main campus to check my mail (catalogues!), and then just headed back up to the comm building.  that left me with an hour and 50 minutes.  so i sat at a computer and cleaned up some email and read all sorts of online news.  the best part was that this was a good time for me to read all the sports news, meaning all the articles about the conference tourneys and the upcoming selection sunday.  bubble teams, possible cinderellas, which conferences are getting 8 teams in (none), and all that makes for lots of fun reading for a bit.  and i grabbed some pretzels and a cookie for "lunch."

ginger's class today was fine.  we talked about tv advertising.  and we had a good amount of group time to put together our ideas for all the things we're going to have to create in the next week and a half -- tv spots, billboards, bus shelters, van wraps, newspaper ads, magazine ads, promotional items, and the list continues.  actually, though, things are looking good.  we're making serious progress in our much love campaign, and i really like the concept.  no complaints here. :)

after class, i headed home.  i spent my entire afternoon and into the evening working on my website.  i put all my hawaii photos up, which was a pretty hefty task in and of itself, but now that i've become a beginning photoshop junkie, i wanted to touch up the photos before putting them online, like adjust the colors and stuff.  (and i may have fixed my hair in one photo.)  so this whole process took hours, though i was also watching basketball at the same time.

tonight, i enjoyed a pasta dinner (the only food i had) while watching "american idol."  the boys were great! :)  and then i watched more basketball.  now that "the bachelorette" isn't on, i had to find other things to watch on a monday night.

i did some serious unpacking tonight.  i mean, i hadn't unpacked anything at all besides my toothbrush, so it had to be done.  and now pretty much everything is unpacked and where it belongs, which is much nicer than 3 bags overflowing with stuff in the middle of my floor. :)

i also put together a huge major important survey for research i have to do for a class project.  (go to http://www.geocities.com/kirstenwyatt/survey.html to take it yourself.)  it took a long time, but i think it'll work for me now.

and andy roddick was on leno tonight, and it really does not get much better than that!  i'm (finally) off to bed now.  tomorrow will consist of errands and homework.  fun, fun, fun! ;)

monday 7 march 2005 12:09am

it's a bit complicated, but i'm now in malibu.  i have less than 10 hours until i have to be in class.  my assignment is not yet done, but i think i'll be alright.  after a little more work tonight, i might be in decent shape come tomorrow morning.  we shall see.

ok, so sunday.  let me see.  i slept in because i can.  then mom came tapping on my bedroom door with her fingernail around 10:30, like she does.  she doesn't open the door or anything, she just taps on it knowing that it'll wake you up but leaving her free from listening to any complaining about being woken up.  she did it to my brother, as well.  at least she was making french toast when we made it out to the kitchen to see why the heck she woke us up.

then there was a lot of basketball to be watched today!  lots!  and it was all fantastic! :)  and i also did my laundry and packed all my belongings and printed all of my hawaii pictures. :)  good stuff!

when i tried calling a few people about a ride from the airport back to my malibu apartment, i wasn't so successful.  then sarah said she could come by san carlos on her way from woodland and we could ride down the state together.  so that's what we did!  i didn't fly.  we just drove from san carlos to malibu together, which actually turned out to be kind of fun because we could just talk and catch up on everything.  of course, it was probably more fun for me than for sarah because i didn't have to do any driving, but still.  and i'll just use the plane ticket later.  maybe easter.  not sure yet.

so now i'm back in malibu.  i have a little work to get done tonight, so i'm going to go do that.  i'm sad to see spring break be over, but it was an awesome one, and i'm thankful for that!

saturday 5 march 2005 11:13pm

"it's gonna take faith
it's gonna take trust
it's gonna take everything we've got
even when we know it won't be enough
it's gonna take hope
we even need a little luck
and if anybody tells us we can make it on our own
it ain't true
oh, 'cause baby, it takes two" -- chris cagle "it takes two"

i'm sleepy now. :)

i awoke to an empty house.  mom had class, adam had volleyball practice, and dad was in the back yard working on building a new fence.  that means i slept relatively well. :)

then i lounged around for a bit before getting myself cleaned up.  i watched some basketball with dad and found some leftovers for lunch.  nothing too strenuous. ;)  and then we watched the first half of the stanford-washington game.

then adam and i headed down to valley fair to do some shopping, but not to worry because we listened to the game on the radio.  and we got down there before the game was over, so i parked the car and we listened to the rest of the game in the car.  gotta love my cardinal boys beating #10 washington! :)  yeah, baby!  and then we did some shopping!  i found myself a couple new things.  it happens... ;)  and adam found himself some moccasins, which he has been wanting.

then we had dinner as a family and auntie nancy joined us.  and then adam and i watched "napoleon dynamite," which was pretty funny, if not as hilarious as i had expected after hearing so many people rave about it.

and now i'm spent.  i realize this wasn't particularly long or exciting, but whatever. :)  i'm cool.

friday 4 march 2005 11:01pm

"so don't you worry who you're kissing on at midnight
the way i see it i've got you and i both covered
the world's to bed and you and i instead
will secretly enjoy our time
so kiss on me tonight" -- tyler hilton "kiss on"

it turned out to be a pretty good day, despite being woken up at 7am.

mom woke me up at 7 and informed me that we were leaving at 7:35 (don't ask my why she picked that time) to go pick up grandma and then go visit grandpa.  ok.  i dragged myself out of the warmth of my bed and into the freezing cold that is the rest of this house.  i managed to even make it all the way to the shower.  so i got cleaned up, put on the warmest clothes i have with me (which is jeans, a sweatshirt, and my trainers), and we headed out to the city.

of course it was raining.  because i love the rain.  oh, wait.  no, no i do not.  but anyway, it's never really a shocker when it's rainy in the sunset anyway.  so we got grandma and then went to see grandpa.  he was eating "breakfast."  we got his heater turned on because he was cold (see, we're definitely related) and helped him change his shirt.  and i gave him his hawaii postcard and told him about how i climbed diamond head.  he's doing alright.  then we brought grandma to irving street so she could go to the bank and whatever other little korean shops, while i found myself a croissant for breakfast at a korean bakery.  actually, it was quite good.  plus, i was starving!  and we also went to the grocery, which was fine with me because it meant i could pick up my necessary copy of "us" with their extra pages of oscars photos!  gotta love that! :)  and then we brought grandma home and headed towards home ourselves.

of course, mom and i got distracted by nordstrom rack on the way home.  haha!  oops! :)  i found an actual nice pair of brown boots, and mom found some stuff.  the problem with going with her is that she will actually sort through all the racks.  i don't love the messy racks enough, so i mostly just check out shoes and any racks that have all the same thing on them.  so it took longer than i might have wanted, but i got boots out of it, so i'm not really complaining. :)

this afternoon, meg came over.  we did usual things.  we went to trader joe's so i could get a couple snacks because there's no food in my parents' house.  we went to walgreens.  we went to barnes and noble and then figured we might as well go to old navy and tower because they're just next door to the book store.  so that's what we did. :)  it's weird that we do this whenever we're together, but it's true!  and then we came back to the house to watch movies her friend noah made.  and then we headed to taxis for dinner, where we sat and talked for awhile, which was what i think we both really needed.  and then we came back here and hung out with the family and whatever.  it was a great night! :)

thursday 3 march 2005 11:30pm

"she's got one dream and her sights set, she says
i'm just waitin' for it
i'm just makin' sure that my heart's steady as a drum
brighter days are dawnin'
my faith's holding strong, and i'll be ready when it comes" -- jamie o'neal "ready when it comes"

i slept in a bit. :)  it happens so easily when i'm at home and it's a weekday because there's no one in the house so it's quiet, the bed is so much warmer than outside the bed, and it's just generally still around here.  so i slept.  besides, what else was i really going to do?

i eventually got up and dressed and decided to head out.  i went to best buy to pick up the new jamie o'neal album and somehow also ended up with the tyler hilton cd and the new 50 cent album for my brother because it came out today (yes, i know it's not a tuesday) and he wanted me to get it for him if it was there.  so anyway, i went to best buy. :)  then i went to target for no particuarly good reason, but i did find myself a copy of the newest marian keyes book (don't judge me) and some razor blades.  pretty exciting stuff, no? ;)  oh, and because my parents keep absolutely no food in the house, i grabbed a pizza to go.

i talked to a few friends on the phone this afternoon.  i had to catch up with sarah!  and then i only got a few minutes with katie before i had to head out.

this afternoon, i went with my parents to watch my brother's volleyball game against st. ignatius.  the si team was crap, so adam's team won big.  it was fun. :)  and then we picked up wendys for dinner on the way home.  so much for a good home-cooked meal! ;)  haha!

i hung out in adam's room again tonight watching "the o.c." and sort of drifting in and out of sleep.  i mean, they were reruns so whatever.

it's been a relaxing day.  tomorrow's going to be an early morning because mom and i are going to the city to go see grandpa.  more tomorrow...

wednesday 2 march 2005 11:26pm

ok, so i'm back on the mainland, unsure of what day it is, more brown than when i left, and sleepy.  i'm going to do my best to sort out what happened in the past two days for your reading enjoyment. :)

yesterday was my final day in hawaii.  i got up and found out that i could keep my room until 4 (instead of noon), which was good since my flight wasn't until 10:30pm.  so anyway, after some breakfast i got dressed and headed out.

when i left, i wasn't quite sure where i was going.  i don't mean i was lost (shocker), but i just wasn't sure where i wanted to wander to.  i eventually decided that i would walk down kuhio, which is a main street an extra block off the ocean.  i hadn't walked down it at all, other than to catch a bus, so i thought it'd be nice to explore yet another portion of waikiki by foot.  i strolled and strolled and strolled and eventually found myself on a bench under a massive banyan tree near the entrance to the honolulu zoo.  i sat there for a bit, enjoying the shade and watching all sorts of people visiting the zoo.  after a bit, i decided to keep walking along the path along the beach.  i eventually came to a part where a row of rocks went out into the ocean, so i walked down to the end, where i discovered that i could watch all sorts of tropical fish in the reef just below the surface of the water.  it was pretty awesome!  i wasn't all about snorkeling on this trip, but this was an excellent alternative!  i also found a shaded bench down on this portion of the beach.  this area was filled with what i am guessing were mostly european tourists.  there was an outrageous number of men wearing bathing suits/swim trunks/speedos (???) that were far too small!  haha!  it was funny!  but anyway, i was just watching the sailboats and the waves and relaxing.  and eventually, i wandered all the way back to my hotel along the beach, wading in the waves.  it was my last chance to wade in the ocean for a bit.

during the afternoon, i got cleaned up, packed my bags, and checked out of the hotel.  but i still have 4 hours before i needed to leave for the airport, so i left my bags with the porter and headed back out.

i walked the other direction to the hilton hawaiian village.  they have massive ground with pools, shops, lagoons with flamingos, restaurants, and whatever else.  i knew i could wander around there for a bit and also find some dinner.  i looked through some shops, and i eventually decided that i would indeed have dinner at benihana there.  i mean, i love benihana, and eating there solo would be an experience.  well, it was quite an experience!  haha!  :)  of the 6 people at my table, i was the only one not from japan and the only one who spoke any english.  and then they have a photographer there who comes and takes a souvenir photo of each party.  well, i was my own party, so now i have this photo of me in benihana.  i find it quite hilarious! :)  anyway, it was a fun dinner, and obviously delicious!  and then i wandered back to the hotel along the path along the beach.  at one point, i found a bench and sat and watched the sunset because there's probably nothing better to on your last hawaiian night than that! :)  so great!

then i went to the airport, had a rocky but fast flight back, and arrived in san francisco at 5am.  no, i did not sleep at all.  yes, i spent my day sleeping today. :)  actually, that's pretty much all i did today.  i slept until 1:30.  i watched my tape of the final episode of "the bachelorette," and i caught up with my email.  it's been good!  not sure what's up for tomorrow...

monday 28 february 2005 8:57pm

it was a beautiful day in waikiki, and i enjoyed it thoroughly! :)

this morning was gorgeous, and i decided that i was up for a little adventure.  after cereal and fruit for breakfast, i headed out to the bus stop, where i caught a bus to the foot of diamond head.  then i spent my morning hiking up from the floor of the crater all the way to the top.  it was a little over a mile each way -- not so bad -- but still quite a hike.  i mean, i went all the way up to the very top of diamond head, so that's a long ways up.  it included a couple sets of really long, really steep staircases, but no biggie for me after all the pepperdine stairs all the time, right? ;)  i did have one guy who was headed down say to me "you don't look tired enough!" when i was about 20 yards from the very top.  it was pretty funny!  and i don't have the words to explain how beautiful the views from the top were, but just believe me when i say that they were breathtaking. :)  they were definitely well worth the hike!  and the walk back down was much faster.  and i took the bus back to waikiki, but i got off a few stops early and walked the rest of the way because i just wanted to be outside, not in the city bus.

i changed clothes and headed back out.  i picked up a jamba juice and then headed to the beach for a couple hours of lying out. :)  yeah, that's basically what this whole trip is about.  so i enjoyed myself there for awhile.

then i came back to the hotel and got cleaned up.  i headed back down to kuhio beach to watch the sunset and then see the guys come light all the torches.  i love this little tradition because it's so cool that they still light torches along the street even though there are normal streetlights.  it's like a little taste of old hawaii.  and then i watched a big portion of the hula show there.  it was different from last night, so it was fun to watch again.  not sure why i never learned hula.

then i went in search of dinner.  i wasn't sure what i wanted.  i checked out duke's but it was 100% packed with really long waits.  then i wandered down the street a bit and saw planet hollywood.  i've eated in planet hollywoods and hard rock cafes in so many places around the world that it would have seemed odd to skip this one.  so i had a quick dinner there.  my legs are a little tired from walking all around waikiki for the past few days that i decided to come back to the hotel, relax, and enjoy the rest of last night's cheesecake for dessert! :)  yum!  i walked along the beach, toes in the water, on my way back to the hotel and it was beautiful!

so now i'm just relaxing.  so great! :)  aloha!

sunday 27 february 2005 10:50pm

aloha!  it was a hawaiian day filled with music, and i loved every moment of it. :)

getting 9 or 10 hours of sleep a night feels good!  i love it! :)  after i woke up, i rang the family to make sure that they could tape the oscars for me, and then i enjoyed some cereal again for breakfast.   i also ran down to the closest abc store (don't even have to cross the street to find one!) to get some spray sunscreen.  the problem with heading to the beach solo is that it's pretty much impossible to get my whole back covered in sunscreen, but i have a better shot with the spray stuff, as opposed to the traditional lotion.

i headed, once again, out to the beach for some sunbathing.  this time, i walked the other direction a bit before settling on a place to put down my towel and lie out.  i ended up next to a lady who was listening to a little radio -- an adult contemporary station (you know, those "best hits of the 80s, 90s, and today" stations).  it was actually pretty enjoyable and they almost never went to commercial.  so i spent a couple hours there sunning myself and reading my book.

i eventually got up and strolled down the beach to where i was yesterday and got myself a jamba juice.  i sat outside the jamba juice and enjoyed that (and a bit of shade) for a bit before heading back out into the sunshine for a little while longer.  i'm a mix of red and brown, so i'm trying to be a bit cautious!

this afternoon, i got cleaned up a bit.  i walked down to kuhio beach, where they have hawaiian music and also have a big stage/movie screen set up.  pretty much, it's a cool place to spend an afternoon/evening.  so after strolling down there, i found myself a chair and table on a little pier where i could see the movie screen and also see the sunset.  tonight's movie was "shall we dance" so i thought i'd stick around, watch the sun set, and then enjoy the movie.  well, the sunset was incredible!  of course!  :)  and at the same time, they had a little dancing demonstration on the stage to stick with the theme of the movie.  then the movie started and it was in japanese with english subtitles.  well, i might have stuck around for the whole movie if i had had my glasses and could actually read the subtitles, but i didn't so i hung out for a little bit and then left.

as i strolled back towards waikiki, there was a hawaiian show going on under a huge banyan tree.  hula and singing.  i hung out there for awhile and enjoyed the show.  it was quite good, actually.  it was like just getting my favorite parts of a luau -- the singing and dancing without having to pretend i want to eat hawaiian food.  so that was fun entertainment!

eventually, i continued my stroll and made it to the cheesecake factory, where i put in my name for a table.  i waited a ridiculously long time (as expected) but didn't at all mind just sitting and people-watching on a beautiful hawaiian night.  and eventually i got a table.  i was directly behind the band, so i got to enjoy that.  also, i was in the bar, so i could see the oscars on the tv (but couldn't hear them, so i'm still looking forward to watching my tape when i get home).  dinner was delicious, and i brought a piece of cheesecake back to my room to enjoy while watching the post-oscars barbara walters special. :)  a fun night, all around!

tomorrow... not sure, but i know it'll be fun! :)

saturday 26 february 2005 10:39pm

aloha!  more hawaii!  i love it!

so when i woke up this morning, there were clouds looming outside and i was a bit worried about how my day was going to turn out because the big plans were to lie on the beach all day.  of course, being a california native, i should have known that by the time i would be ready to actually go outside the sky would be cleared up.  anyway, so i ordered a spoon from room service, and i enjoyed a bowl of cereat that i got at the abc store yesterday.  and i may have also snuck and cookie or two.  :)  you get to do things like that when you're by yourself!

i put on the new bathing suit, and i headed to the beach.  i strolled down the beach, toes in the water, a little ways and then found a place to put my towel down.  basically, i spent all day lying in the hawaiian sunshine! :)  no, life does not get better than that.  i read my book a bit and took in the sun and pretty much did nothing but turn over every now and then and take sips of my lemonade.  i also went and got myself a jamba juice for lunch and brought that back to the beach to enjoy.  of course. :)  it was perfect.  i'm a little bit more red than i had realized earlier, but i'll be ok.

eventually, i headed back to the hotel and got myself cleaned up.  i also found the last quarter of the stanford men's basketball game on tv, so i watched that.  go card! :)  beating oregon!  and i talked to the family for a few minutes, as well.

this evening, i took the bus to the ala moana shopping center, which is this huge outdoor mall.  i walked all around and browsed through the shops and everything.  there's a longs drugs store there, so i was able to procure a few pairs of locals, only one of which is for myself and i only bought them because they perfectly matched what i was wearing so i just couldn't pass them up.  oh, and they're $3, so it wasn't exactly a huge purchase. :)  while i was just walking through the shopping center, chris rang, so i sat and chatted with him for a bit.  it's nice to catch up with him!  i got dinner at the cpk.  i sat at the counter, which was perfect because i could watch all the people in the kitchen cooking and all.  it was fun!  and i love the fact that the couple on my right was a pair of old (like late 60s) japanese people who shared a pepperoni pizza and a scoop of vanilla ice cream.  it was just so adorable!  i am glad to know that at that age, i might still share a pepperoni pizza with the one i love.

then i took the bus back to waikiki.  i missed my stop.  well, actually, i knew we were there but we just never stopped, so i got off at the next stop, which was fine and i ended up spending some time walking around waikiki.  it's very happening at night, especially with all the street performers.  it was fun!  and i found myself my 1 hawaii souvenir, which is ironically a sweatshirt, but i love it! :)  and just walking around was fun and entertaining.  i also discovered that they have live music at night at the cheesecake factory, and i just might try to get myself a table there one of these nights.

so now i'm tired.  i know that seems impossible with the amount of lying around i did today, but it's true.  :)  plus, i really did do a lot of walking!

friday 25 february 2005 10:33pm (hawaiian time!)

aloha!  :)  i have made it to waikiki.  i love this place so much!

so after a short night, the alarm clock went off at 3:50am, i hopped in the shower, got dressed and was just finishing up packing when josh arrived a few minutes before 4:30.  what a trooper that boy is, driving me to the airport way before the crack of dawn when all the roads out of malibu are closed and it's terribly inconvenient driving to lax.  but we made it, and i got all checked in and through security (wow, that was a long line!) and to my gate.  well, actually, i stopped at starbucks for a white mocha (decaf so i could sleep on the plane) and a pastry for breakfast.  and then i sat at my gate and read (an actual book!) until my plane was ready to board.  as i was in line to board, mom called.  she's so nervous about this whole trip.  i love her for it. :)

anyway, i found my way to my beloved aisle seat and made myself comfortable.  as soon as we were in the air, i had my tray table down so i could sleep on it.  that worked for a bit until they started clearing away breakfast trays (i wanted nothing to do with the "hot sandwich" they were serving for breakfast) and i just had to give up on the sleeping.  the ipod went on, i read a magazine, i wrote some, and i'm not sure what else.  the flight was alright.  it had its bumpy moments, especially in the last hour, which always kills me.  six hours after leaving los angeles, though, i was in honolulu and happy as can be. 

i could feel that island air when i got off the place and the smile spread across my face immediately.  i've needed to feel 80-degree air for awhile now.  and i made my way to baggage claim to wait for my bags.  whoever thought it was a good idea to use 2 carousels for the same flight's luggage was totally wrong, though!  a person is only capable of watching one at a time!  good thing i got lucky and was watching the right one and both of mine came out in the same place!  so i got my stuff, hopped in a taxi, and was on my way to waikiki.  you know life's good when you're cruising down a hawaiian highway with the windows down. :)  yeah, baby!

it didn't take too too long to get to the waikiki parc hotel, where i'm staying.  it's the sister hotel to my favorite, the halekulani, which is way out of my price range.  but i'm just across the street from it. :)  basically, i'm like 100 feet from the beach anyway, so life is good.  and probably my second favorite hotel in waikiki, the outrigger reef, which is next door to the halekulani, has opened a starbucks and jamba juice(!!!) in the front of the hotel, so you know i'll be there every day!  i think that from now on i'll have to just find a way to scrape up the money to stay at the reef.  anyway, this is actually a nice hotel, so i'm happy.

after getting settled in my room, i was starving.  it was around 2, and it had been many, many hours since that starbucks pastry.  i set out walking around and found myself a slice of pizza and an icee.  as i was walking around after that, though, it was raining a little bit, so i decided to duck into the closest abc store and pick up some breakfast groceries and then bring them back to my room.  yay for refrigerators in hotel rooms!  and then i gave myself about a half hour to wait for the sprinkles of rain to pass.  as i checked outside my window (my room has a lanai), there was a rainbow, so i took pictures.  oh, and it wasn't raining anymore.

i changed clothes and headed out to walk around the town a bit and then find myself some dinner.  i know the area, but i didn't have any specific destination in mind, so i just sort of started walking.  i ended up walking west up towards the hilton and the local motion store.  i wandered in and out of shops here and there.  i scoped out potential restaurant ideas.  i slipped off my sandals and strolled along the water's edge on the beach.  and i stopped to listen to various performers singing hawaiian music or dancing.  it was really nice.  around sunset, i headed back to the beach to catch a glimpse before finding a place for dinner.  i ate at this little italian place that was really good.  i was greeted with alohas all around and my lemonade came with a big flower in it!  the biggest problem with dining alone was that it went really quickly, so that left me with more night to fill than i had anticipated.  so i wandered around some more shops and found myself a scoop of ice cream, which i then ate while standing on the beach looking at the stars and all the waikiki lights.  so beautiful!  and i eventually headed back to my hotel.

it's been an awesome first day to this trip.  tomorrow will involve sun bathing and maybe a trip to the ala moana, if i can figure out where to catch the appropriate shuttle. :)  i <3 hawaii.  i really do.

thursday 24 february 2005 11:42pm

"and i don't see how you could ever be anything but mine" -- kenny chesney "anything but mine"

ok, kids!  i'm leaving this apartment in less than 5 hours, which means that i need to crawl into bed, pretend that i'm tired, and get a couple hours of sleep.  this is going to be brief.

i got up, did a bit of studying and got myself cleaned up.  then it was off to school.  i had to check my mail because it had been forever and every now and then there's something interesting in my mailbox.  catalogues!  yay!  i <3 catalogues!  and then i headed up to the ccb for some last minute studying.  my creative midterm went well, if also involved too much writing and was oddly organized with students moving all around the classroom.  but i did fine, so that's good!  and then it was officially spring break!

i spent the afternoon doing a bit of cleaning and watching tv and getting music from cd onto my ipod.  :)  gotta have some music on the ipod so i can listen to it on the beach!  and i talked to sarah because i won't see her until after spring break, and i talked to kath because i hadn't talked to her in quite a while.  liz and i watched "the o.c." together!  oh, man, i love that show!  all it took was one episode last week to get me sucked right back into it! :)  so fun!!!  and we had a little apartment-cleaning party so that it'll be nice when we return.  and then i packed.  2 bags.  don't judge me.  hehe! ;)  and now i need to get to bed!  i'm hawaii-bound tomorrow morning, and i cannot wait!

wednesday 23 february 2005 10:48pm

"my hopes are high
my guard is down
i'm in a place i never dreamed
i've heard it happens every day
well it's my turn
dare i say
oh look at me
i have never been so taken in
this is a fight i cannot win
i'm yours
take me as i am
and i never thought i'd get caught up in a feeling
my heart can't ignore
this is what i've been waiting for
baby i'm yours
i laid my heart out on the line
now i know it was worth the risk
'cause when i see you smile i just fall
oh i surrender all
i just can't resist" -- carolyn dawn johnson "i'm yours"

amazing!  absolutely amazing!  i saw sunshine today! :)  oh, man, i missed that!

the plumbed knocked on my door this morning at the exact moment i was reaching over to switch off my alarm clock.  good timing!  he came, fixed my running toilet in about 2 minutes, and was gone.  perfect! :)  this was a good way to start a wednesday morning.  and then i hopped into the shower, got dressed, and called public safety's traffic hotline to verify that i did have to actually go to school this morning.  yep.

you know that no one is at school (because for so many it was virtually impossible because every single road around here is closed due to rock slides, mud slides, and gigantic boulders that are going to require serious amounts of dynamite) when i arrive at convo at a normal time and can park in the third space.  and the fourth space was also empty.  convo was alright.  a student with a new zealand accent talked about how he moved to the states.  whatever.  it was cool.

after convo, i headed up to the comm building, where i hung out for an hour before class and did some studying for tomorrow's creative midterm.  there was basically no one else around except for other people in my comm ethics class, so it was quiet.

today's comm ethics class was originally supposed to be a guest speaker from e! who i heard last semester but was fun. :)  however, because it is nearly impossible to get into malibu, especially if you're coming from la, he had to cancel but we had to go to class anyway.  debbie promised an hour-long class (instead of allotted 3 hours), and she had each of us share a little about the religions we wrote about in the papers due today.  that was interesting, even if it frustrates me when people don't have complete information and therefore cannot answer my questions, but i suppose that's how it goes when the assignment limits the paper on an entire religion to approximately 3 pages.  i'll forgive them.  i won't, however, forgive the girl who pretended to answer my question by giving me random other information because she clearly did not possess the information i was requesting.  just tell me you don't know.  anyway, we did that.  then i thought we'd get to leave, but no no no.  we got to watch a special video on 9/11 and where God was.  it chronicled several very upsetting stories and these people's struggle with their faiths after 9/11.  it was extremely heavy for a wednesday afternoon before spring break.

i spent my afternoon finding something to eat and then reading "us weekly."  yes, i should have been doing other things, but i wasn't.  oh, and i did laundry, as well, so i'll have some clean clothes to bring to hawaii with me! :)  so i guess i accomplished some stuff during the afternoon.

i eventually had to head back to school for my campaigns class.  i hadn't been to this class in so long!  i knew i could have skipped because he gave us permission, but i felt like i needed to go since i hadn't been there in forever!  (not because i skipped but just because we rarely meet.)  so at 6 it was me and 4 other people. :)  haha!  i met with stu and we went over my survey and things are good!  now i have to round up 100 people and make them take it!  fun.  fun.  so class was a waste of time since i was only there for 30 minutes and only met with stu for about 5, but it's alright because i got to see a beautiful malibu sunset, something that hasn't happened in so so so so long!  :)  so it's cool.  and then i got to head back home.

getting home at like 6:45 meant i had plenty of time to wrap up my creative studying before 9pm "american idol," and that's exactly what i did. :)  study study study.  then tv!  and there may have been popcorn and a few chocolates worked into that whole plan! ;)  and now i'm just here watching the news and trying not to fall asleep quite yet.  it's been a good wednesday, i'd say, mostly just because the sun finally came out!

wednesday 23 february 2005 12:38am

"who poured this rain
who made these clouds
i stare through this windshield
thinking out loud
time keeps on crawling
love keep son calling me home
i'd jump all these mountains
and take to the skies
sail through the heavens
with stars in my eyes
if my heart had wings
i would fly to you
and lie beside you as you dream
if my heart had wings" -- faith hill "if my heart had wings"

i didn't leave the house today.  you know that's how all your favorite entries start.  no, no it's not.

it was raining cats and dogs again today.  yes, again.  and since i didn't have school to attend because it's tuesday and i had lots of work to get done, i just never left the apartment. 

i slept in a little bit but was up in time to watch 'the view.'  joy's commentary on the amount of bikini waxing required for each of the bathing suits featured was hilarious!  and i watched some local news so i could hear all about how much water was falling from the sky and how many homes were sliding down hills.  and i wrote a reflection paper on comm connection.  the years and years and years of religion classes prepared me well for just such an assignment. ;)  and i watched 'ed' also because it's the best show rerun on daytime tv.

i spent the afternoon working on a paper for my comm ethics class about shinto, the japanese religion.  it turned out to be much longer than 3 pages and far more interesting than what i could cram into only 3 pages. :)  debbie should find it interesting, so she'll forgive my extra pages, right?  right?  right. :)

i also made final arrangements for my trip to waikiki! :)  i have an itinerary, a hotel reservation, and i'm all set!  i'm counting down the seconds until i can leave!

this evening, sarah came over to hang out for a bit and postpone her trip through kanan.  all the other ways across the mountains are closed due to major mudslides and the delays through kanan were said to be 2-3 hours.  it's 12 miles.  yeah.  so she came over and we had dinner and watched 'american idol' before she decided to head home.  she made it, but that was after some serious detours through kanan, included areas that weren't even paved.  basically, malibu is cut off from all other civilization besides heading north all the way to oxnard (about 40 miles).  how will they have school tomorrow?  i think it'll be impossible and they'll have to cancel, but we'll see.

and tonight i watched some more tv and painted my toenails.  they're now totally beach-ready!  haha! :)  i'm off to bed now, i suppose.  i still have to be up tomorrow morning to discover they've cancelled school since they won't just do it tonight even though we all know there's not enough access to school.  whatever.  good night! :)

monday 21 february 2005 11:19pm

"want a towel on a chair in the sand by the sea
want to look through my shades and see you there with me
want to soak up life for a while
in laid back mode
no boss, no clock, no stress, no dress code
no shoes, no shirt, no problems
blues, what blues?  hey i forgot them
the sun and the sand and a drink in my hand with no bottom
and no shoes, no shirt, and no problems
babe let's get packed, tank tops and flip flops if you got them
no shoes, no shirt, no problems" -- kenny chesney "no shoes, no shirt, no problems"

from stormy to sunshine all in one monday!  i love my life! :)

so i woke up to more rain and to a plumbing system that was still nonfunctional.  at least i got an extra half hour of sleep knowing that i'd be cutting out a whole lot of the normal getting ready process.  i actually got almost no sleep last night anyway because i couldn't sleep.  i even found myself watching the local news at like 3am.  during the sports report, my beloved chris hernandez of the stanford men's basketball team was called chad hernandez.  that was sad for me.  but anyway, back to this morning, i got up and just didn't want to deal with trying to get breakfast when all my dishes are dirty and i couldn't clean them, so i headed out to school a few minutes early and stopped at starbucks on my way.  if there was ever a morning when i could totally use a real (meaning full caff) white mocha it was today!  and then i made it to campus.

graphic arts was actually pretty decent today.  we had a prospective student and her father sitting in class today, so dana was all about being super teacher (which we for sure know she is not) so we got to learn stuff!  and i'm getting the hang of illustrator, which is really exciting for me, even if that makes me a nerd.  and i stayed after class for an hour to finish up our homework.

then i went to just relax in the lounge for awhile before my next class and ran into jason triolo, so we sat and chatted for an hour.  i never ever ever run into him, and now i've seen him 2 days in a row because he was at the londoner bbq yesterday and then today.  crazy but so much fun! :)  i have no idea how we talked for an hour and then suddenly realized we had to get to class, but that's how it went.  good times!

creative was alright today.  we reviewed radio.  having worked in radio and watched djs read those scripts or fact sheets and all that i have some opinions on what works and what doesn't.  but whatever.  and we got some group time to work on our much love radio spots.  i really like our idea, and hopefully at some point i'll get the campaign online so you can all see the creative we've done.  i am really liking how our campaign is turning out. :)

after class, i stopped at mcdonalds for some food (don't judge me) before heading home.  it was during a rare dry moment, which i'm thankful for.  that hike up to my car in the law school lot is a lot longer when it's raining.  and when i got home mrs. nickerson was outside and ready to inform me that our septic tank had been pumped out but our toilet is indeed still broken.  but it flushes.  (was that too much information?)  so the plumbing works!!! :)  this is excellent!

i spent a good portion of my afternoon on the phone with my mom.  we have now planned my upcoming spring break (starts thursday at 4pm, not that i'm counting down or anything.)  are you ready for this?  you sure?  friday morning, i will be on a plane bound for oahu.  yes, i'm going to hawaii on spring break!  i'm spending 5 days lying on waikiki beach in the sunshine, and i could not be more excited!  you have no idea!  i'm going by myself.  it's going to be quite an adventure, i do believe.  and then i'll fly back to sfo and visit with the family for a few days before heading back to malibu.  now i just have 2 papers, 4 classes, and 3 days to survive before i get to go!  need a hawaiian souvenir?  you have that long to let me know. ;)

tonight was a tv/research on shinto night.  no, those things do not go together.  yes, i did them at the same time anyway. :)  i learned a lot about shinto and am now prepared to write a paper about it tomorrow.  i also enjoyed "american idol" and of course my favorite "the bachelorette," which was a special where all the dumped men got together.  next week is the finale and i'll get to see my boyfriend jerry! :)  i'm way excited about it!  like way too excited. ;)

and now i'm watching the hilarious chris rock on leno, and i'll head off to bed soon.  sunshine in 4 days!  i'm stoked!

monday 21 february 2005 12:31am

"we could sit around and talk about the ins and outs
of why we shouldn't take a chance
be so afraid it's gonna rain we sit and miss a sunny day
to avoid the circumstance
there's a million and one reasons we could run
but it's too late for that
time's wastin', it ain't waiting for us
i know that we can make it
we can make it with a little luck
call me crazy, that might be, go ahead
and a laugh at me
but i still believe that dreams come true
so let's forget the past, the times we could
but didn't dance
it's all come down to me and you
we're right here and right now, baby
there's no doubt
we have that it takes to do it" -- phil vassar "time's wastin'"

it was another rainy day in malibu.  and when i say rain i mean more water falling from the sky than is ever supposed to happen ever.  really.

i got up early this morning and met josh and co. at mass at 10:30.  i wish i were better about going.  maybe now that i know josh will be there i'll be better.  but probably not.  i'm giving it a try, though.  mass was good.  by the middle, it was standing room only in that little church.  i actually really like the our lady of malibu church, but it's so different (the building) from st. charles. anyway, church was good.  :)

i had to stop by ralph's afterwards to pick up sodas for the londoner bbq this afternoon, so i did that.  while there, i also picked up a magazine (or two) and the guy who was ringing up my items said jokingly, "every time i break up with a girl she ends up on the cover of a magazine!"  haha!  so i responded with, "oh, that's alright!  you don't want the ones on the cover.  you want the ones on the inside." he then said that was the best response he'd heard. :)  and then i said, "it's the ones on the inside who have something to say," and he loved this response!  haha!  i impressed the possibly gay man at ralphs with my wit/strong women comment.  :)  i'm so cool!  only not really.

this afternoon, liz, sarah, and i headed over to bella mar apartments for a londoner reunion bbq.  it was a little adventure trying to get into the highly secure apartment complex, but we did it by stealthy following a car into the gate.  the party was fun, despite the rain.  it was great to see so many people that i truly don't see often enough.  i got to deal with the awkward question of what i'm going to do after graduation.  i am getting better with facing that one, though.  practice makes perfect???  anyway, i had a good time. :)

and this afternoon, i napped and did a bit of homework.  pretty exciting stuff, right?  yeah.  and i talked to some friends online and tried to catch up with some people.  i also watched my favorite "desperate housewives" with liz.  there was ice cream and whining about the rain and sewage.  it was fun! :)

the toilet broke yesterday.  and today, the septic tank reached its limits.  this apartment is in desperate need of a plumber.  desperate.  maybe tomorrow, but who knows considering the roads are probably a mess and it's a holiday.  we actually have classes tomorrow, so i guess that's where i'll be.  at least there's functional plumbing there!  and there's no end in sight to the rain.  if you want to help with the construction of the ark in exchange for a guaranteed place on it, stop on by!

saturday 19 february 2005 10:58pm

"i woke up early this morning around 4am
with the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
i pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
but thoughts of us kept keeping me awake" -- keith urban "you'll think of me"

it's still raining, and i'm still complaining about it.  deal with it! ;)  and sorry this is so short but i'm tired and am not thinking particularly hard at this moment.

3:30am and the thunder was so loud it seriously woke me up.  it was rattling my windows and i could feel it like you can feel the bass in music when it's turned up too loud.  i don't ever recall experiencing thunder like this before.  and then i looked up and saw the sky become lit by lightening.  insane.  and of course the rain was coming down like nobody's business.  it's hard to sleep after this.  but i tried for the next 8 hours.  i was partially successful.

after lounging around planning to not ever leave the apartment today, sarah and i started talking on aim and decided that we should actually make plans together.  so i headed out through the canyon.  i had a little errand to run at the gap, and then i picked up sarah.  we went to see "the wedding date," which was cute.  it's not exactly like the oscar-worthy movies i've been seeing lately, but i never expected it to be, so that's alright.  it was just a fun, mindless romantic comedy.  and then we went to wal-mart.  sarah had digital pictures to be printed, so that's where we went.  brought back some really good memories, oddly. :)  and then we went to jerry's deli for some dinner, or in my case, breakfast.  they serve breakfast there all the time, so i figured that i ought to take advantage! :)  pancakes, eggs, bacon.  it really doesn't get much better than that, does it?  and after a delicious dinner, it was back to wal-mart to pick up the photos.  no one should leave things there any longer than necessary.  and then we stopped at blockbuster because sarah needed to rent a movie for school.  and i dropped her off and headed back home.

keith urban and john fogerty were on a cmt "crossroads" special.  i love keith urban to a ridiculous extent.  :)  he's the best.  seriously.  and i talked to kath for a bit on the phone, which was fun.  that's about it.  more rain and more fun tomorrow...

saturday 19 february 2005 1:02am

"last think i was looking for
when i first saw you that night
was someone with that something i couldn't walk away from
in the early morning light
yeah, we stayed up all night just talking
and i didn't miss that itch to leave
i ended up wrapped around your finger, baby
but that was just fine with me
i never had a chance
i was swept away like sand
you had me in the palm of your hand
baby, my heart was on the run
i wasn't gonna fall in love
but here i am
i never had a chance" -- andy griggs "i never had a chance"

it is raining so hard outside right now.  so hard.  and the forecast isn't looking great.  rain forever.  again.  super.

so mrs. nickerson's piano resides directly above my bed.  this morning at 10am, she was using it to give a piano lesson.  super.  so needless to say, that was when i woke up and had to actually decide to stay awake.  it was a bit earlier than i had really anticipated, but i spent the morning reading "vanity fair" and lounging around, so it wasn't bad at all, really.  and eventually, i decided i would just go crazy if i sat around the apartment all day, so i decided i would go out.  i got cleaned up and dressed and headed out.

about 10 minutes into my drive to woodland hills, it became quite apparent that deciding to go out on this rainy friday was not at all a good idea.  waiting to turn left onto kanan, i noticed i was behind a pickup truck with 3 ladders strapped to the top.  i've never liked driving behind trucks with ladders (or other similar things) strapped to the top for fear of them flying off and directly through my windshield.  but there's not a lot you can do on a two-lane road, so i just drove behind it through the canyon.  about a mile into the canyon, a ladder flew off the truck.  of course.  it landed on the street, slid around a bit, and the truck pulled over.  i managed to steer myself around the ladder without simultaneously getting rear-ended by the truck behind me.  stupid trucks.  so i survived that big scare!  and now my fear will never go away because it has now been justified.  and then a few miles down the road, i found myself in dense fog.  really dense.  ok.  this is when i considered just turning around and going back home, but i didn't.  and a few miles after that, i was in driving rain with my windshield wipers going as fast as possible.  uh-oh.  but i just kept going, and through lots and lots and lots of water, i made it to woodland hills.  i basically just went shopping at nordstrom rack and the mall.  i now own my first kate spade purse.  since sarah doesn't read this, i'm pretty sure none of you care, but that's alright.  anyway, after some shopping, i headed back home, through more rain.

this afternoon, i did a bit of nothing and took a nap.  oh, man, i totally loved that nap! :)  it was fantastic!  just what i needed! :)

tonight, i met liz and josh at school for the lovey dovey pit show.  pit is so great.  that's what i think! :)  they're for sure the best on-campus entertainment.  it was so funny and so fantastic and a great way to spend a friday night!

after the show, we headed home.  i watched "how to lose a guy in 10 days," which is so cute! :)  i was in the mood for a girly movie, and it did the trick!  and now i'm pretty much ready to go to bed.  it's late.  it's raining.  i'm sleepy.

friday 18 february 2005 1:22am

"i had all but given up
on finding the one that i could fall into
on the day before you
i was ready to settle for
less than love and not much more
there was no such think as a dream come true
oh but that was on the day before you
now you're here and everything's changing
suddenly life means so much
i can't wait to wake up tomorrow
and find out this promise is true
i will never have to go back to
the day before you" -- rascal flatts "the day before you"

it still sort of trips me out how much some places will remind me of certain people, no matter how many times i go there without them.  how weird is that?

that alarm startled me this morning, but it was quickly into the shower, dressed, and heading out.  school on thursday morning is never too killer knowing that the weekend is only a few hours away.  plus, my afternoon class was cancelled, though i did have to go to a bunch of presentations during that time anyway.  so i headed to school, found a parking spot (though barely), and went into graphic arts.  our book covers were due today, so we each put them on our screens and then go to walk around and look at all of them.  some were more impressive than others, but they were interesting because they were all quite different.  and then we all gathered in the back of the room so we could see all of them and discuss them as a class.  mine was heavily complimented by people.  apparently my use of space was brilliant.  i still think it's a bit too cluttered, but i had to get in that many photos, so that's how it goes.  anyway, people also made comments like, "it looks like it could be a real book cover."  um.  wasn't that the assignment?  yes, yes it was.  why did people design book covers without titles or authors?  i don't understand.  anyway, then we started in on illustrator, which is super exciting because i need to learn it and you really have to have someone teach it to you because it's not at all intuitive.  so, i've already taken a photo of a rubber ducky (the one in the photoshop samples) and colored it so it now looks like an illustration.  i'm so cool.  but not really. ;)

ok, so after class, i had an hour before the first of the comm connection presentations i was planning on attending, so i went down to main campus to check my mail.  catalogs!  :)  and then i was waiting for the shuttle and sarah drove by, so i got a ride from her back up to the ccb, which is a far better option than actually waiting for the shuttle! :)

then it was the afternoon of comm connection.  i went to one that was student documentaries about tv legends.  it was good! :)  i'm impressed with the level of work, really.  and then i went to one for convo credit(!) that was about politics and religion (particularly christianity) and what it is like to pursue a career in politics while still trying to be a christian and how those things mix.  it was very good!  and that's not something i say about convo pretty much ever.  it provided some important insight about what it means to be christian, what some major christian issues are that are often overlooked, and all sorts of perspective that pepperdine often fails to bring to the table.  i appreciated a new point of view!  plus, i love when students challenge the speakers, even when i think the students might be wrong, somewhat closed-minded, or giving the pepp student body a bad reputation.  it still makes for an interesting convo.  and then i attended one about online media because ginger has been hyping it forever.  it was pretty boring, but whatever.  i know it made ginger happy to see me there, so that is a good little benefit!  and then i dropped by sarah's office for a minute to say hello before dashing up to my car (all the way in the law school lot) in the rain.  um, why is it raining?!?

once i got home, i rang katie (because she left me a message earlier today).  we hadn't talked in forever and i was pretty much convinced that she was dead, so it was so fantastic to catch up! :)  and while still talking to katie, liz, sarah, and i arranged to have dinner tonight at spumoni's.  it had been forever since i'd been there, so i was stoked!  so after i got off the phone, liz and i met sarah for a delicious dinner.  and of course, we got free tiramisu, which was delicious.  i only love it at spumoni.  otherwise, i want nothing to do with tiramisu.  mmm... so good!  and then liz and i came home and watched "the o.c." which for me, was the first episode i've seen all season so liz had to explain a lot of things to me.  it was fun!  i do love that show, even if i haven't dedicated time to watching lately.  i'll get back on the bandwagon soon!

and then liz and i headed up to woodland hills to pick up sarah (she needed to watch "the apprentice" before we could go out).  then we went bowling!!!  yay!!!  it was dollar bowling night, and you know it doesn't get better than that!  $6 for an entire night of fun!  oh.  man.  we had such a blast (check out liz's blog for a fun description)!  i bowled a 121 and 115, which is decent.  for whatever reason, i was feeling ambitious so i started out bowling with a 14-pound ball.  you know it didn't take that long for me to get tired of that, and i bowled the second game (not such a good round for me) with the magical 9-pound purple ball.  and liz and i resurrected the middle finger 9-pin tradition (started by josh, who bowled a record number of 9s).  see, you flip everyone off and everyone flips you off when you bowl a 9.  just like that last standing pin is flipping you off.  i must admit, it's not the most ladylike tradition we have, but i'm cool with that! :)  and liz and i felt the need to channel our favorite rapper,  xzibit, in order to bowl better.  you know x is an amazing bowler, right? ;)  so we started by making the traditional "x" gesture when getting strikes.  and then liz added the other hand gestures that x always uses.  it was hilarious!  i promise! :)  so we had a ton of fun bowling! :)  this needs to happen more often!

and now i'm sleepy!  it's late!

wednesday 16 february 2005 11:46pm

"if i could have one wish it would be just this
that i could take you to my soul
and show you all the love there is
this never ending sea deep inside of me
there's no stopping it baby even if
i could kiss you in the rain forever
turn all of your pain to pleasure
fill up all your days with sunlight
make the passion last every night
give you my every possession
make you my only obsession
climb up to the sky and pull down all the stars above
but i could never love you enough
no matter what i do
it's never as much as i want to" -- chely wright "never love you enough"

i'm tired.  i'm not sure what to write about today.  i have to think really hard to actually remember what actually happened.  or maybe that's just because i sat at the computer too much, yet again.  not sure.

i was up and off to convo bright and early this morning, just like all wednesday mornings.  convo.  oh man.  at least it wasn't particularly long today and no one told me i was going to hell.  i stopped paying much attention, though, when they showed a slideshow on screens that had lights shining on them so i couldn't actually see anything on them.

after convo, it was directly up the mountain to the ccb, where i met back up with sarah and we attended the first comm connection event, a talk by wynn allen and debbie about putting your best face forward in regards to getting and keeping a job.  it was all very interesting, and i think i'm going to try to meet with debbie again soon and just go over all the stuff they didn't have time for in their hour-long session today.  gotta be ready to get a job, you know!  and then sarah and i tried to go to the next comm connection event, which was for convo credit.  the room it was in was already full but they had a live audio feed going to the room next door, so we got to go in there.  well, when the speaker can no longer hear or see you, you aren't so polite when you're only there to get convo credit.  so we chatted a bit and read magazines and whatever.  i heard a little of the speech from this crazy man who's a minister and has dreamed of being a minister since he was 5 and would gather his friends and preach to them and tell them they were going to hell.  oh man.  yeah.  and he wouldn't stop talking!  but people had to leave after an hour to get to classes.  not me, though.  so i hung around until quarter after, when he told everyone to take a 2-minute break.  yeah.  right.  peace out, buddy!  and they weren't scanning people out of convo, so i totally get credit!  :)

after convo #2 of the day, i went up to the mac lab and scanned a whole bunch of stuff for my graphic arts project, which is a book cover.  then i came home and spent hour after hour after hour photoshopping until it was finally complete!  (it's now in the other section of the website, in case you desperately need to see it.)  i like it much more than i like my first project, but that's probably because the "self-portrait" was a bit too new-agey, even for me.  this was something much more reasonable.  anyway, it's done now, which is good because it's due in the morning.

kath called.  we talked for awhile because it had been forever and she's not doing aim anymore because something's wrong with her computer.  she's doing fine. :)  it was fun just to talk to her.  i really needed that!

dinner was pizza while watching "american idol."  they are finally down to the final 24.  i can now know who some of these people are!  and i choose boys (because i pretty much always choose boys to root for) to root for! :)  and then i watched "sex and the city" while also sort of drifting off to sleep.  oh, what fun!  getting my work done earlier in the day totally paid off.  oh, and i totally got campaign class cancelled today when i called stu to make sure he was still holding class.  it didn't take much for him to decide that he was going to cancel it.  rawk!

ok, i'm spent!  i need to go to bed!  good night!  tomorrow, bowling!

tuesday 15 february 2005 11:36pm

"how many times must we go through this
you've always been mine, woman i thought you knew this
how many times must we go through this
you'll always be mine, cupid only misses sometimes
but we could end up broken-hearted
if we don't remember why this all started
and if they try to tell you love fades with time
tell them there's no such thing as time
it's our time" -- jack johnson "cupid"

there is not a lot for me to write about today because i've mostly just been here, but i'll go ahead and write anyway so as not to disappoint my faithful reader(s?).

when i eventually woke up this morning, it was pretty much straight to the computer to begin working on all the homework i didn't do last night or over the weekend.  and there was a lot of it.  i took a little break for some breakfast/lunch/meal #1 and to watch "ed," which was cool. :)

basically, i spent the entire day either at the computer working on homework or switching the laundry.  it was for sure laundry day since it had been like 3 weeks.  it was supposed to rain today, which was going to make laundry day a bit more of a hassle, but it didn't rain today, which i'm really grateful for!  so homework and laundry.  these little art project assignments for creative are getting to be quite time-consuming.  i was photoshopping (i just made that a word) ads and changing fonts and cutting and pasting and taping and all sorts of things until i had 5 ads that have little flippy things so you can see the headlines in different fonts.  oh, what fun!  haha!  and of course, there was other, less exciting homework, as always.  no wonder i waited until today to do all of this stuff!

one of the exciting highlights of the day was that i got to watch/listen to meg's first radio show.  it is broadcast live over the internet, including video, so that was fun!  i even got a shoutout (after i practically had to beg)! :)  and the show was actually quite enjoyable, which is saying a lot because meg and i don't exactly listen to the same music.  it was also really fun to hear bands that i remember from high school, anti-45 and ndb's own under 21.  :)  how cool is that?  so big congratulations to megs for a good job on her first show!

what else was fun about today?  i watched "american idol" with liz and we successfully predicted which rooms were going home and which ones were continuing on.  :)  because we're just that cool!  haha!  and i had ice cream, so it was a happy "american idol" experience. :)

i spoke to my family tonight for a few minutes and then had to get in the shower.  i hadn't done that yet today, and i just would not have been able to crawl into my clean sheets without having showered once today, even if all i did was sit here at the computer.

and it's been more work tonight.  more homework.  updating the resume (finally!).  other little bits of work here and there.  but i think i'm finally done and ready for bed!

tuesday 15 february 2005 1:01am

"my funny valentine
sweet comic valentine
you make me smile with my heart
your looks are laughable
unphotographable
yet you're my favorite work of art
is your figure less than greek
is your mouth a little when
when you open it to speak
are you smart
but don't change a hair for me
not if you care for me
stay, little valentine, stay
each day is valentine's day" -- frank sinatra "my funny valentine"

it was a good valentine's day.  my 21st consecutive as a single person, appreciating other kinds of love in my life.  it was good. :)

i have determined that 7 hours is not a good amount of sleep for me to get.  i either have to get less or more, but when it's about 7, it really hurts when that alarm goes off because i'm in a deeper state of sleep.  yeah, i got about 7 last night.  at 8:15, i was in the shower trying to make myself wake up. ;)  i put on a pink sweater and headed out to school.

graphic arts this morning was a "working day," meaning "dana doesn't feel like teaching instead of just grading homework during class so you're going to do what i'll technically consider work even though none of you have the appropriate materials to do actual work."  whatever.  we have our next big assignment due on thursday.  we have about 5% of the time we did for the first one, but i just want to have the photoshop portion of the class over so that we can move on to illustrator, which is what i actually need to learn, so i'm not going to complain to her.  today, i started coming up with my ideas for the book cover i'm going to design.  the book is called "the history of modern fashion."  basically, i'm going to rip off a "vogue" magazine cover and it'll be super.  it'll be done by thursday and maybe i'll let you see it. ;)

i spent a bit more time in the lab scanning some print ads for my creative class and then doing a bit more work on the fashion book cover.  i just don't like to spend too much more than 2.5 hours in the dark lab, though.  eventually, i headed down to main campus to check my mail.  valentine's cards were waiting for me from  my aunt and my grandma, which is sweet of them. :)  and then not quite ready to go back up to the ccb, i sat in the window in the sandbar and hung out and whatever.  eventually, i made it back up to the ccb, though.

today in creative, each group (there are 5 groups of 5 people) met with our client, much love animal rescue, to present our first drafts of our campaigns.  somehow, our group didn't get to go until last, which meant we had to just sit and wait for all the other groups to be done.  well, the class is 1 hour and 50 minutes and that's how long we were waiting.  yeah, we didn't get our meeting until class was technically over.  2 people had to be in class elsewhere in 10 minutes.  it went really well, though, and heidi (of much love) was quite pleased with what he have created!  this is particularly meaningful feedback because her actual profession is a designer (for magazine) so she really knows what she's looking for as far as design goes! :)  so i'm happy with where this campaign is headed, and we have some great ideas for more stuff!

after class, i headed to ralph's/sav-on in search of magazines for this fashion book cover.  the thing is that we have to scan at least 3 images from print, so fashion magazines seemed like the best place to find the appropriate images to scan.  the funniest thing about valentine's day at ralph's is all the men!  hahaha!  i love it! :)  i actually ended up buying magazines from sav-on, though, because they had more of what i wanted.

anyway, then it was back home, where i have spent the rest of my evening.  i turned on some basketball and i'm pretty sure that i was asleep for at least a few minutes because there are parts i can't remember.  and i talked to my family for the first time in several days.  they're doing well!  it was good to get caught up!  and today is my parents' 23rd wedding anniversary, so that's exciting!

tonight, i watched "the bachelorette," as that has become the best part of a monday night!  and i im-ed sarah to tell her it was starting and it turned out that she was actually just down the road at school, so she came over to watch the rest of the show with me.  for the second week in a row, i was able to accurately predict the men she'd give roses to and in what order.  yeah, i'm just that obsessed.  sarah, however, told me that i'm not allowed to be the next bachelorette.  sad for me! ;)  and i've just been working on homework while the tv has been on all night.  it's been productive if not the most exciting night of my life. :)  now, it is time for sleep.

monday 14 february 2005 12:34am

"some people search for a fountain
that promises forever young
some people need three dozen roses
and that's the only way to prove you love him
hand me the world on a silver platter
and what good would it be
with no one to share
with no one who truly cares for me
some people want it all
but i don't want nothing at all
if it ain't you baby
if i ain't got you baby
some people want diamond rings
some just want everything
but everything means nothing
if i ain't got you, you, you" -- alicia keys "if i ain't got you"

it was sunday grammy day!

i got up this morning and watched a bit of basketball before getting myself cleaned up and dressed.  after leftover pizza from last night as lunch, i headed out.  i had a bunch of errands to run in woodland hills, so that's what i took care of.  target, trader joe's, the bank, albertsons.  pretty exciting stuff, let me tell you! ;)  my rascal flatts cd kept me company through the journey.  oh man, i absolutely love that album.  it's incredible!  i think i could listen to those boys sing forever!  sad for me that it wasn't such a nice day out, though.  too cloudy.  not enough sunshine.

this afternoon, i had some homework to take care of for tomorrow.  looking for ads and writing about them isn't particularly hard but it takes time to find all the right ones, especially when you're looking for about 15 of them.  but i got that done, as well.  see, it was a totally productive day!

at 5, i turned on e!'s red (green actually) carpet coverage of the grammys.  the grammys are always a big deal for me, even if i don't agree with the winners ever.  no matter what i think, they're still the most prestigious awards for musicians.  plus, the red carpet stuff is fun!  i love all the fashion (especially with all the crazy rock/rap/country/etc. stars) and interviews. :)  so i had that on while i did other things, like homework and filing my nails and talking to friends online.

eventually, it was time for the actual awards show.  i settled in with my bottle of pink nail polish.  3.5 hours, 24 performances, and 10 pink nails later, the show was over, i was satisfied, and i still disagreed with all the choices of winners.  (that last part stems from the fact that i pretty much also disagree with all the nominees.)  but the show was spectacular because of all the collaborations that people will only agree to because it's a chance to perform at the grammys.  keith urban is so hott!  (i just had to throw that in there for you, in case you were unaware! ;))

and of course, post-grammys i had to watch my tape of "desperate housewives," because we know i cannot miss a week of that!  thanks to liz for taping that for me.  that show is so great! :)

and now i'm just getting ready for bed and watching "the wedding planner" because it's on tv right now.  i love this movie!  it's now technically valentine's day, so happy day to you!

sunday 13 february 2005 1:54am

"my mind wanders where it will
when it settles right on you
i forget what i should say
i forget what i should do
i try to think about shakespeare
leap year
the beatles or the rolling stones
i try to think about hair-dos
tattoos
sushi bars and saxophones
i try to think about the talk shows
new clothes
but i guess i should have known
i just can't concentrate
you're all i think about these days
you're all i think about these days" -- patty loveless "i try to think about elvis"

what started out as a pretty average saturday turned out as way better than average.  there are several people to thank for this. :)

thanks to partying hardy with sarah last night, i slept in. :)  super!  but i eventually got up and watched some quality basketball on tv, including the stanford game.  i'm sad to hear that my beloved dan grunfeld tore his acl in the game today, however, and that his season is over.  what will i do without him? :(

thanks to meg for some fun on the phone.  i was only mid-conversation talking to meg online this morning, but i needed to get to the post office before it closed at 1:30 so we continued our conversation on the phone as i headed down there.  i successfully mailed a few things, and i also procured fantastic new stamps!  it's exciting when there's no one in line behind me and i can flip through the book of stamps at my leisure to pick some out! :)  you know you're now hoping for mail from me just so you can see the stamp. ;)

thanks to the men's volleyball team, best sports team at pepperdine, for an incredible match!  incredible.  they're so amazing that they basically just wiped the floor with defending national champions #6 byu!  john mayer was a stud, and the team hit .500 on the match, which is absolutely unheard of, in case you know nothing about volleyball stats. :)  the game was so much fun, and liz and i sat with the hecklers so that was entertaining in and of itself.

thanks to a brilliant idea from sarah, dinner was at cheesecake factory.  i'm still so full several hours later, but it's cool.  and there's half a piece of cheesecake in my refrigerator just waiting for me.

and thanks to liz for choosing the absolute perfect movie for tonight, the 10:30pm showing of "hitch" at the calabasas theatre.  oh.  my.  goodness.  this story is huge!  haha! ;)  so we had to queue up before they'd let us into the theatre.  we were early because we wanted to watch the twenty (the commercials they show for the 20 minutes before the movie starts), so we got into line.  then time kept passing and it was getting really close to 10:30 and we still weren't allowed in.  so liz, who might have been freaking out just a little, went to use the restroom.  i spent this time eavesdropping on the family of people behind me in line.  they claimed that bruce willis was going to see the movie, but i was wary of this information.  however, always one to love a good celebrity-spotting opportunity, i filled liz in on my little rumor when she returned.  finally, with about 10 minutes before the movie was to start, we were let into the theatre.  liz and i walked around to the other side of the theatre and found seats right in the middle of the theatre in the front row of the stadium seats.  she left, like a normal person would in a crowded theatre, just a seat between her and the girl sitting next to her.  we sat down, i looked over at the people she sat next to, and it was in fact bruce willis and his children.  he's a real celebrity!  and we just happened to be sitting next to him at the movies totally on accident because we didn't realize we were sitting next to him until we were already sitting!  anyway, this is the best celebrity-sighting i've had since martin sheen at mass. :)  oh, and i thought the movie was really cute and very funny!  i mean, it wasn't good in an oscar sort of way but in a romantic comedy sort of way! :)   so fun!

so that was my saturday.  it's now after 2am and i still am not really even close to being ready to go to bed.  i need to move on to the next step in the getting-ready-for-bed process. ;)

saturday 12 february 2005 2:12am

"someone said love is all you need
so take my hand, i'll show you what it means
just run away with me
i can make you believe it's worth it" -- bbmak "run away"

today was excellent.  really excellent!  and even through all the rain.  (we don't do rain in la, in case you weren't aware.)  now i'm just working on making it be springtime, instead of admitting that it's obviously wintertime.

when you're up late, it really can take an alarm clock to make sure that you're up by 11.  or maybe that's just me... ;)  but at 11 i was in the shower and getting cleaned up.  by noon, i was already on the road.  there were things to be done today, people!  :)

i picked up sarah at her apartment and we made the somewhat treacherous journey to the grove.  the freeway was a mess (duh.  this is la and it was raining.), and then we had to go through laurel cayon.  mud and water were everywhere, the speed limit was reduced to 10, and we drove past the house the collapsed last month during that dose of seemingly-never-ending rain.  it was kind of cool, though!  i mean, more than just the normal freeway driving.

anyway, eventually arrived the grove, and outdoor shopping center.  yeah, in the rain. :) but we had an excellent woodranch lunch and then did a bit of shopping.  i may have gotten myself into a bit of trouble at anthropologie, but i love my new skirt and promise to wear it every single day to make sure the price tag was worth it! :)

and then we went to see "million dollar baby."  it was the last of the oscar best picture nominees for me to see.  now, i think it might be my favorite.  it was so incredible!  i loved it!!!  i'm not sure what else to say.  it was a fantastic story and the acting was fantastic and i found it all very moving.  see it.  really.  you need to see it.  seriously.  go.  now.

and then sarah and i navigated our way to pepperdine and arrived only a few minutes late for the pit show.  it's homecoming weekend, so this was the alumni show.  that meant 3 of the 8 performers were pepp pit alums, including the brilliant brian jones! :)  the show was fantastic and hilarious and exactly what i needed.  and how brian jones, aaron, sean, and skylar all ended up on one team for the second half is beyond me, but i could not have asked for more! :)  so good!

and then i brought sarah back home, stopping to pick up a wendy's dinner for us on the way.  we ate and watched the episode of "joey" that makes fun of pepperdine (mostly the law school).  it was pretty funny!  and then we watched some letterman and leno and hung out before i decided that i did actually need to head home at some point, so here i am, back at home for the night.

more fun stuff for tomorrow!...

friday 11 february 2005 12:29am

"in everything that moves
in everything i do
i can still feel you just as close as skin
every now and then
all by myself, in a crowded room, or my empty bed
there's a place you've touched with your love no one gets close to
i can still feel you" -- collin raye "i can still feel you"

i must say, it has been a good thrursday! :)

i was up way too early so that i could be at graphic arts a few minutes early to make sure i had everything in order for my revised self-portrait.  lately, i'm never quite ready for that alarm to go off.  that probably has something to do with my messed up sleeping habits that include me just settling in for bed when "three's company" comes on at 2am.  that's what happens when i only have 3 days of class a week.  but anyway, i got up and showered and headed out to school.

oh, it was chilly this morning!  i wasn't happy about that.  but i made it to class and turned in the revised edition of my self-portrait.  super.  i'm just glad to be done with that and ready to move on to something new.  class was boring but i survived.  i read bbc news online.  :)  at least it was educational!  and then i hung around the lab for a bit after class to work on the next assignment, which is really just busywork but i still have to get it done.

after that, i headed down to main campus to mail some things (actually, a lot of things), check my own campus mailbox, and grab some lunch in the caf, where the volleyball team was dining.  haha!  don't make fun of me just because i love the volleyball team. ;)

and then i headed back up to the comm building, aided by the shuttle, and hung out there for awhile and read the new newspaper.

creative was a bit disappointing this afternoon because our scheduled client meetings were postponed until monday.  at least we got to watch more superbowl commercials, including the fantastic brad pitt heineken one. :)  and we learned all about layout and design principles like that.  it's all interesting stuff, even if i've learned a lot of it in the last class i took with ginger.

after class, i came home for a bit.  i talked to chris online, which was fun because i hadn't heard form him in quite some time.  and i watched a bit of basketball on tv.  it's rivalry week, people.  it's just what i do now. ;)

then i met sarah and liz for dinner at coogie's, where loads of gonzaga fans were dining.  i mock-scowled at them as i noticed their gonzagawear.

and then i went to the biggest basketball game of the season, the waves took on gonzaga.  oh.  goodness.  i love this stuff!  i got my (giant orange) free t-shirt and headed inside for the game.  the bleachers were already packed, but i found a nice seat in the first row of the upper section.  by the time the game started, the fieldhouse was packed.  :)  the game was great!  so great! :)  it was close and exciting and a whole lot of fun!  no, we couldn't quite pull out the win, but it was still a good game. :)

and tonight, i've talked to some other friends.  i talked to troy and sarah online.  they're both doing fine. :)  troy claimed my newly-acquired t-shirt, and sarah and i made plans for tomorrow. :)  fun stuff!  and i'm off to bed now...

wednesday 9 february 2005 11:06pm

"there's a ship out on the ocean
at the mercy of the sea
it's been tossed about
lost and broken
wandering aimlessly
and God somehow you know
that ship is me...
and again i see
my yesterdays in front of me
unfolding like a mystery
you're changing all that isn't used to be
on a prayer
in a song
i hear your voice
and it keeps me hanging on
oh, raining down against the wind
i'm reaching out
'til we reach the circle's end
when you come back to me again" -- garth brooks "when you come back to me again"

it's ash wednesday.  i like everything about what this day means, at least in the catholic faith.  it was important for me.  i had no idea it was going to be, but that's how it turned out.

i was totally not ready for that alarm to go off less than 6 hours after i had fallen asleep, but i managed to make it all the way to the shower and get myself cleaned up.  i got ready for school, and even managed to put on something cute and nice shoes.  amazing!

convo this morning was good.  i realize that a lot of people probably thought it was boring and got nothing from the speech because they tuned out because i must admit that dr. gough is not the most dynamic speaker ever.  however, he wrote one of my favorite books ever.  it's on ethics.  anyway, knowing that i would probably want to hear what he had to say, i paid careful attention to his message today and appreciated it very much.  it was great to hear him speak again (i had him as a professor my first semester of college.). :)

after convo, sarah and i went down to starbucks in search of delicious drinks and keeping our eyes open for any celebrities that might be hanging around malibu.  while we didn't have any celebrity sightings, the coffee was good. :)  and then it was back to campus to the ccb.

comm ethics.  this class is always entertaining for me.  today, i got an important message about being present and listening.  it offered a lot to consider, especially with my crazy habits of multi-tasking.

this afternoon, i ate dinner at a crazy early hour because i was starving.  and i also watched some basketball because that was important!  and i started working on my revision of my self-portrait for graphic arts.  i'm not sure i made it better, but it now meets the guidelines given to us on monday.

tonight, i didn't go to campaigns because i was excused by stu because my project is coming along great and we weren't doing anything new in class.  super!  so josh and i went to mass at our lady of malibu for ash wednesday.  gotta get some dirt for my forehead! ;)  josh and i went last year on ash wednesday, as well.  we saw martin sheen.  this year, it was fewer celebrities, but i took a lot away from mass.  i now know what i'm going to do for lent.  and i learned about how sequoias germinate.  i'm feeling really good about the next 40 days.  it's surprising to be feeling like this, but i like it and i'm hopeful.

tonight, i watched some "american idol" and "sex in the city" with liz.  i am tired, though, and i plan to get to bed early... as soon as i start in on my lenten promise. :)  happy lent, all!

tuesday 8 february 2005 11:13pm

"tell me when you will be mine
tell me quando quando quando
we can share a love divine
please don't make me wait again
when will you say yes to me
tell me quando quando quando
you mean happiness to me
oh my lover tell me when
every moment's a day
every day seems a lifetime
let me show you the way
to a joy beyond compare
i can't wait a moment more
tell me quando quando quando
say it's me that you adore
and then darling tell me when" -- michael buble "quando, quando, quando"

yes, i know that it's an engelbert humperdinck song, but i was listening to the michael buble version today.

anyway, it was good day, even if not too exciting and i don't have that much to write.  it's all about enjoying the day, right?  and i really just write this for me anyway.  so whatever.  here it goes...

so i really slept in this morning.  yes, i was up really late last night, but still.  i guess i just slept better than usual because all of a sudden it was 11.  oops!  no big deal, though, since there wasn't too much to be accomplished today.

after watching "ed" and eating meal #1, i got cleaned up and headed out.  i decided to go to old navy (i was looking for something specific) and target.  the old navy in thousand oaks was so big!  i'd never been there before, but i looked all around.  found some interesting stuff.  it was good fun!  and then i went to target in thousand oaks, since i was up that way anyway.  i was mostly just in search of a pizza cutter (how could i have lived this long without one?) and the new michael buble album.  i took my sweet time there, as well, since i really didn't have much of an agenda for my day.

i eventually made my way back home and spent the next two hours trying to watch two basketball games simultaneously.  illinois and boston college (the nation's only remaining undefeated) were both finding themselves in a lot of hot water! :)  oh, rivalry week on espn, i love you so! ;)  my adopted team of the season, the illini, fought back to win, but boston college couldn't quite pull themselves out and suffered their first lost of the season.  overall, it was a good night of college basketball.  oh, and after talking to my brother tonight, i feel like i should also inform all of you that b.j. elder is now back and healthy for georgia tech so they'll be working their way back up into the top 25.  or something like that.

i had gnocchi from trader joe's for dinner and it was so good!!!  mmm!  i'm already excited about eating the rest of it in the coming days.  and i made those crazy fat free brownies that we devoured last week.  so tasty!  it was for sure a good food day!

then i headed out to the men's volleyball game.  the #2 waves were facing #7 ucsb, so i knew it was going to be a good match.  i just didn't know how good!  the waves won 3-2, and it was so much fun and i sat with this crazy group of guys who love yelling in their little megaphones the whole game.  they were funny, so it didn't get annoying. :)  and the game was just so good!!!

and now i'm home just hanging out.  i'm going to attempt to be in bed at a decent hour so that i can be nice and awake for convo tomorrow.  one of my favorite pepp professors is slated to speak, though i don't know about what.  he wrote an ethics book that i read my freshman year when i was in his class and it made such an impact on me.  so he has to be better than last week's speaker who told me that i'm going to hell or something like that.  oh, and it's ash wednesday tomorrow!  and what's with the ash wednesday service in the chapel tomorrow?  i don't understand.  and am i going to have to see zillions of students with ashes on their foreheads even though they're not catholic?  and should i be bothered by this?  not sure.

tuesday 8 february 2005 1:08am

"i wanna wake up in your arms so far from here
i wanna get lost in the dark and know you're near, know you're near
maybe it's an old love song playing up loud on the radio
bringing these thoughts of
getting me thinking that there might be a little more than
what i'm working for
or maybe it's just me
everybody's got a weakness, some kind of kryptonite
wearing 'em down
everybody's got dreams that they can't let go of, don't they baby
everybody has a little secret they keep inside and mine's
living happily, ever afterly
with you, with you" -- leann rimes "with you"

monday already, huh?  ok.  i'm sure i must have done something in the past 17 hours since my alarm clock went off.  now it's just a matter of trying to remember.

so that alarm clock went off way too early, and i stumbled my way into the shower.  and an hour later, i was out the door and on my way to school.

graphic arts this morning was... well... interesting.  (because "interesting" is the nice way of saying "not good but also eventful.")  we are to revise our self-portraits according to new guidelines.  super.  don't ask me why she didn't just give us these in the first place.  also, don't ask me why she's a teacher who doesn't particularly care for teaching or her students.  (ouch!)

i stayed in the lab for a bit after class to continue working on these revisions.  this got boring quickly, so i left and walked down to main campus.  it had been a week since i'd checked my mailbox, so i needed to do that.  i sat in the sandbar and "read" my new j.crew catalog for a bit before heading back up the hill to the ccb.  up there, i grabbed a cookie, listened to my ipod, and read a magazine.  marie stopped to say hello for a few minutes, and it was great to see her!  i never get to see her!

eventually, it was time for creative.  we had an extensive discussion about the superbowl commercials, and even watched several.  it was interesting, but in the good way. :)  and the campaign for much love animal rescue is coming together nicely.  our first meeting with the client is thursday, and we're definitely ready!

after class, i headed to sav-on because i forgot something yesterday.  and i spent all afternoon working on this little project, which is now complete. :)  pizza for dinner was followed by "the bachelorette," which i loved every second of! :)  and i spent some time on the phone with sarah catching up on life.  and i read the rest of the magazine i started earlier.  and i signed up for catalogs online.  that was quite fun! :)

now, i must actually go to bed.  i've been sitting here since 4.  it's definitely time for me to change positions and locations. :)

sunday 6 february 2005 11:48pm

"'cause i wanna hear you
i wanna be near you...
just let me love you
don't turn me away
don't tell me to go
don't, don't give up on trust
don't give up on me, on us
if we could just hold on long enough
we can do it
we'll get through it...
just let me love you" -- shania twain "don't!"

so last night i was lying in bed watching cmt because there's not a whole lot on at 2am and guess what video came on!  go on, guess.  if you guessed nelly and tim mcgraw singing "over and over" you're correct!  otherwise, you're so totally wrong because any other video you possibly could have guessed as being on cmt is so different from this video.  i mean, r&b on cmt!  i love it!  and i love that song!  i'm stoked! :)

so i slept in because that's what happens when i am up late.  i mean, i still didn't get all that much sleep.  :)  give me a break!  ok, so then i got into the shower and got cleaned up.

the big outing of the day was pretty spectacular, let me tell you!  haha!  it was just to sav-on because i needed a few supplies for a little project i'm working on.  you know, sav-on is pretty happening on a sunday.  and i stopped by blockbuster to see if they had any more movies for me, but the few that i was actually interested in were checked out, so i left empty-handed.

as soon as i got home, sarah called because she needed me to run a little errand for her.  not wanting to miss any super bowl action, i left immediately.  it only took me 8 minutes to run the errand, though, so i was good. :)

and then, the main event of the day: the super bowl.  i like football.  i like all big media events.  i like good commercials.  this was totally the event for me. :)  oh, and i like that i made a ton of garlic fries and liz and i ate all of them.  we win!  the game was a good one, and i'm so happy that tom brady and co. won!  and the commercials were pretty good, as well.  so it was fun!

then liz and i watched "a cinderella story" together while i gave myself a pedicure and manicure.  yes, i watched this movie last night.  but it was just so cute that i wanted to see it again! :)

and i downloaded napster today after seeing ads.  $15 a month gets me zillions of songs.  plus, there's a 30-day free trial.  yeah.  i've already downloaded a ton of music.  a ton.  (and don't worry, i read all the fine print first.)

so now i'm just watching horrible reality shows on mtv as i get ready to go to bed.  it's been an excellent television-filled day.

sunday 6 february 2005 1:17am

"so come to bed, it's getting late
there's no more time for us to waste
remember how my body tastes
you feel your heart begin to race
there may not
be another way to your heart
so i guess i'd better find a new way in
i shiver when i hear your name
think about you but it's not the same
i won't be satisfied 'til i'm under you skin" -- maroon 5 "shiver"

today was thoroughly me.  with the exception of one thing, i could not have asked for more from my saturday.  i love it when that happens! :)

i woke up this morning right at 10 and immediately flipped on the tv.  my stanford boys were on against arizona.  the game wasn't so great, but you know.  gotta stick by my boys, anyway.  and i had breakfast while watching the game.  i decided that buying fresh squeezed orange juice from trader joe's yesterday was one of my best decisions ever!  there's no substitute! :)

after the game, i showered and got dressed and ready to leave.  i had to be ready to go by 1.  at 1, maroon 5 tickets went on sale, and i was ready with my mouse and credit card to by a couple!  liz and i will be in the building!!!  i'm so excited!  i need some good live music, so i'm really looking forward to the show next month!  it's going to be awesome!

after procuring tickets, i left and headed out to pasadena, with a couple little stops at blockbuster (to return dvds) and the gas station.  pasadena.  i'd never been there before, but i drove right through the heart of the city and it seemed quite nice, actually!  but the reason i went all the way to pasadena is to go to the norton simon museum there.  on a little side note, the amazing thing about los angeles and the insane traffic here is that it takes about an hour for me to get anywhere.  i mean, it often takes me an hour to just get to woodland hills, and i could also make it to pasadena in barely over an hour.  weird, right?  anyway, the norton simon was truly an art lovers' museum.  there were lots of husbands and boyfriends there who just looked unsure of what to do with themselves.  it was just a whole lot of art.  good art, though!  am i going to drag an unappreciative man to museums at some point in my life?  not sure.  i'd like to think that i could explain the art to him enough that he'd at least be able to spend a few hours with me in a museum.  we'll see... some day.  ;)  anyway, i did the galleries in chronological order, with the exception of the asian stuff, which i did last because it was on a different floor and less than interesting to me.  anyway, i was impressed by the collection right from the start (1300s or so).  and when i got to the 19th century stuff, oh goodness!  haha!  (get ready for the art nerd in me...)  the collection was fabulous!  i mean, i knew it was good because that's what sparked my interesting in going there in the first place, but wow!  degas everywhere!  tons of sculptures, mostly studies.  and i don't even know how many paintings.  15?  18?  not sure, but a lot!  oh, i was so happy!  and i also really liked the 20th century stuff because it was all early, like pop and earlier.  mostly cubist, including significant picassos and braques.  oh, i could go on and on.  i'll stop here, though, and if you want to know more you can just ask. :)

so after the museum, i headed back west to century city.  i went to the shopping center there to wander around for a few minutes and then see a movie.  i saw "swimming upsteam," which is an australian film that has just been released in the u.s.  it's a true story about a swimmer in the 50s in australia.  i didn't know too much about it, but i thought i'd try it out since i heard lots of good things (meaning i read good reviews online) about it and there weren't any other options.  i loved every second of this film.  seriously.  it was fantastic!  oh, and the lead was way hott, so you know. ;)  haha!  anyway, it was excellent!

then i headed home by way of santa monica boulevard, instead of the freeway.  it just seems like a more interesting drive on a saturday night, and it was.  i like to drive through santa monica at night when there are lots of people about.  anyway, i was rocking out to my maroon 5 album, so it was good! :)

and tonight, since i've basically devoted my entire weekend to watching movies, i watched "a cinderella story," which i also enjoyed, if only because it was so romantic!  :)  i love cheezy high school movies like that, even if i should have outgrown that by now.  i probably never will because i never had that "normal" high school experience.  (not that i would change anything, but just that my life has been a little different.)  it was a sweet movie, if not oscar-worthy! :)

so basketball, concert tickets, art, and movies.  yeah, i'd say that i definitely planned my own day. :)  and i enjoyed it.  tomorrow's the big day of commercials!  good thing i have garlic fries from trader joe's in the freezer!

saturday 5 february 2005 1:54am

"a song of you comes as sweet and clear
as moonlight through the pines
other arms reach out to me
other eyes smile tenderly
still in peaceful dreams i see
the road leads back to you" -- ray charles "georgia on my mind"

yeah, how good was that guy?!?

this morning, i got up, showered and dressed, and watched "ed."  there was no particular hurry, so i took my sweet time. :)

eventually, i headed up to woodland hills to spend my afternoon and my money. :)  on the way there, some guys in their work truck were like driving flirting with me.  no, i'm not just that self-centered, i swear.  it was an open freeway, yet this truck was driving next to me, so i shifted over a lane and so did they and they kept driving next to me.  so i looked over and they were totally looking at me.  and over the few miles down the freeway, as i changed lanes and passed and did whatever, they tried their hardest to keep driving next to me.  i glanced over for brief seconds (so as not to take my eyes off the road!) through my sunglasses and they were just like looking and smiling and whatever.  i thought it was pretty funny!  maybe they thought i was hot!  or maybe they just thought it was funny that i was singing along to my sugarland cd!  not sure, but i found the whole thing entertaining, if also somewhat dangerous. ;)

anyway, i went to see "being julia."  it was great!  fantastic!  i really enjoyed it!  i was the youngest person in the theatre by at least 20 years, and even my seat in the back half of the theatre was the closest anyone sat to the screen.  what's with all the old people loving the back 4 rows?  i don't get it.  anyway, good film!

then i went to old navy for no particularly good reason.  they already have st. patrick's day stuff out.  is that weird to anyone else?  i mean, they also still have valentine's day stuff out.  and then i did my grocery shopping at trader joe's, which i think will become habit.  there are only a handful of items that i really would like to get at the traditional supermarket.  i found all sorts of delicious things, so it should be a good food week!  and then i headed back home.

i made myself a quesadilla (from the handmade tortillas from trader joe's) for dinner. :)  and i watched the double-dose of "8 simple rules" that was on tonight.  i do love that show!  it's a shame that it's on on friday nights, when i try my hardest not to be home.  but anyway, i was home tonight, and i loved watching it.

and then i watched "ray."  another incredible film.  seriously.  it was so good!  and in case you didn't believe the golden globes or the academy awards, jamie foxx really is truly fantastic in that movie!  i actually forgot that i wasn't watching the real ray charles.  and the music was incredible (duh).  i really liked the movie.  see it.

and then late tonight, i chatted with friends online.  megs talked to patrick.  i thought he had disappeared forever.  seriously.  and i talked to sarah, who is at home for the weekend.  it was all good stuff.  i <3 my friends!

and now it is quite late and time for me to go to bed.  good night, all.  there will be more tomorrow, as always.

thursday 3 february 2005 11:48pm

"now this mountain i must climb
feels like a world upon my shoulders
i through the clouds i see love shine
it keeps me warm as life grows colder
in my life there's been heartache and pain
i don't know if i can face it again
can't stop now, i've traveled so far
to change this lonely life
i wanna know what love is
i want you to show me
i wanna feel what love is
i know you can show me
i'm gonna take a little time
a little time to look around me
i've got nowhere left to hide
it looks like love has finally found me" -- foreigner "i want to know what love is"

welcome to my weekend! :)  haha!  i love it!  and let me just say that i really feel like i kicked it off properly this morning by sleeping in.  that's what happens when my 10am gets cancelled (for reasons i still don't know) and so i don't have to be on campus until 2.  so i slept in a little bit.

i'm really not sure how i spent the rest of my morning.  i mean, i passed through a few hours.  i know that i was going through a magazine looking for things to keep for my 2 notebooks that i am keeping with interesting stuff, like ads or layouts or whatever i might use in the future for inspiration.  and going through these magazines always takes longer than i realize.  like i'm watching "the view" and just sort of going through it and all of a sudden i'm 1/3 of the way through the magazine and it's an hour and a half later.  yikes!  so i guess that's what i did this morning.

i eventually got cleaned up and dressed.  i put on a skirt because i've been wanting to wear and i was willing it to be even warmer than it actually was.  stubborn.  hehe! ;)  and i made myself some lunch, which i ate while watching "ed." :)

then i actually had to go to my creative class.  ginger was so excited to see everyone because she missed our last two classes because she was ill.  after spending nearly an hour talking about the super bowl and advertising, she met with all the groups individually to see how our campaigns for much love animal rescue are coming.  we went first since we had our drafts done because we're ahead of pretty much the rest of the class.  she liked what we had and brought up some good points.  after meeting with ginger, we met as a group and discussed changes and how to move forward.  pacific coast advertising is well on their way to a really good campaign, and i'm excited!  plus, we solidified our agency logo (designed by yours truly), and i'm happy about the choice!

then i headed back home, watching some less-than-interesting basketball, and just sort of lounged around.  there's not a big rush to accomplish anything today since i have all weekend with very few plans and very little work. :)

liz, dj, and i went to islands for dinner.  i'd never been there before, and they introduced me to the deliciousness that was cheese fries.  yeah, that was excellent!  and i don't get to hang out with either of them enough, really (i know that might sound ridiculous), so it was really fun!

and i watched "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" tonight.  it was interesting and made me think about my own life and my own memories.  i'm not sure i'd watch it over and over, but i'm glad i saw it.  and now i'm sleepy, so i think i'll head to bed.  not sure what any of the next three days hold...

thursday 3 february 2005 12:59am

"my head is spinning
but my heart is in the right place
sometimes it has to have its self a little earthquake
here i am
as perfect as i'm ever gonna be
you'll see
love me for me
stick around
i'm not the kind of girl you wanna leave
you'll see
love me for me
i've been waiting all my life
to finally find you" -- ashlee simpson "love me for me"

today was good.  i mean, when i wake up and it's just a sunny, clear day, i'm pretty much sure that things are going to be alright.  but it really was a good day, though nothing huge made it that way.  it's the little stuff. :)

ok, so i got up and felt pretty good considering i only got 6 hours of sleep.  that's not enough for a normal person.  and why i can't get myself to bed at a decent hour three nights a week i'm not sure.  but apparently, i'm 100% incapable.  so anyway, i got cleaned up and dressed this morning, and i was headed off to convo, just like all wednesday mornings.

convo was not good.  ok, i hope i'm not about to offend anyone, but at the same time this is my journal and it's about me and what i think, so that's what i'm going to share.  i really liked last week's message that we all have different concepts of some sort of higher being and that one is not necessarily more right than the others.  i've always sort of thought that.  anyway, i found this week's speaker's message to be in stark contrast to the message of last week.  he said, among other things that i don't particularly find helpful or true, that there is only one way to understand God, the christian way.  i found it intolerant and closed-minded.  anyway, don't ask me why, 4 years later, i'm still trying to pay attention during convo.  it might be a waste of energy.  not sure.

anyway, after convo i went up to the ccb to doddle around in the mac lab messing around with photoshop and working on some stuff for my creative class.  sarah joined me, as well. :)

then i headed off to comm ethics, where i turned in my first report of the semester.  carl rogers.  and because debbie had read it a couple days ago and thought it was good, she asked me to present my report first. :)  so i did.  and then i listened to everyone else's ethicist reports, most of which i actually found interesting.  i wish i had some of these people's knowledge of philosophy, though.  i'm jealous.

and then it was a quick trip to ralph's for some necessities (milk and lemonade) before heading home.  i spent the afternoon working on logos for pacific coast advertising for creative.  i made several that i really like.  hopefully, my group will also like them when i show them to them tomorrow!  and i also had dinner, watched the cincinnati-louisville game, was informed by troy that i needed to see the latest episode of "super sweet 16," and watched the state of the union address.

and then it was back to campus for my meeting with professor hardman for campaigns.  he liked what i had!  all that work yesterday totally paid off!  i'm well on my way to a cool campaign, i think! :)