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| Astrology |
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| ARIES - You should avoid confrontation with members of the Royal family. Try to be as stern as possible at work, people will think you are cool. Lucky stationery - paper clip |
| TAURUS - Travel plans are best put off until you sort out your kitchen cupboards . Make an extra effort to eat broccoli, it will make your friends jealous. Lucky animal - gnu |
| GEMINI - Make the most of any cheese you eat. People look at you as if you are mad, give them the benefit of the doubt. Lucky vegetable - marrow |
| CANCER - Make plans to skydive with caution, you might find your pets resent you for it. Enjoy popping bubble wrap while you have the chance. Lucky car - Citroen 2CV |
| LEO - Throw caution to the wind and invest in a new tea strainer - you won't regret it. Take no notice of what people say about your shoes. Lucky tool - chisel |
| VIRGO - Make plans to visit a nuclear plant this weekend. Listen to checkout operators at the supermarket - you might be surprised by what they say. Lucky pasta - penne |
| CAPRICORN - If you only eat beef, you will receive a surprise in the post. Don't believe everything you hear about weasels - someone is just trying to put you off. Lucky channel - BBC2 |
| LIBRA - Steer clear of anyone trying to sell you a shuttlecock, it will be second-rate. Make extra effort to wear sandals in church on thursdays. Lucky drink - vimto |
| SCORPIO - You have an urge to eat coal - resist. Buy a new biro on saturday. In an imminent monopoly game, be the scottie dog if you can. Lucky magazine - Bella |
| SAGITTARIUS - Friends try to interfere with your spring cleaning - don't let them put you off, there's nothing to fear from using Harpic. Throw away old screwdrivers. Lucky road - A1 (M) |
| AQUARIUS - Family matters dominate at the moment - if you resist the urge to poison your siblings people will respect you. Don't visit too many National Trust properties. Lucky paint - vinyl silk |
| PISCES - Make the most of a trip to a sewage plant this week. Use your skills of tact and diplomacy at work to make others look stupid. Lucky video - E240 |
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