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| Dear In Love with A, If you've read any of my other letters, you'll find that I often am wary of girls who say they are "in love." especially at this age. We are TEENAGERS! I don't even think we understand what love is! I encourage you to read 1 Corinthians Chapter 13. Read the words carefully. Is that how you feel for this boy, A? is it TRUE love or just a silly infatuation? Sorry to burst your bubble, but I think its just a teenager infatuation. If FEELS like love, but it isn't really. God tells us what love is in 1 Corinthians. I encourage you to read that chapter and be cautious on how you use the word love. Okay, on to your question. I have a question for you. Why is it so important that you have to get A to like you? Will your life end if you guys don't end up together? No...I know that you want to be together with him now. I understand that urge to want to have him like you. But it really isn't that important! You are putting yourself through all of this stress for nothing. You seem to be in 8th grade/9th grade...somewhere around there, right? Personally, I don't think its time to date yet in your life. You have your whole life ahead of you! Relationships are complicated, stressful, and most of the time painful at one point. I'm not condemning relationships or anything. I just think that you are looking at them the wrong way and placing a relationship with this guy too high on your priority list. I encourage you to read "I Kiss Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris. It is an excellent book on dating and I think it'll give you a new look at what dating is. Overall, if you have to MAKE this guy like you or GET him to like you, why do you like him in the first place? If he should ever like you, he should like you for who you are and not be "forced" into it by our devious plans. You said that A thinks of you as a friend. That's good! Keep being his friend and don't put your feelings for him in the way of keeping your relationship. I personally think that you and all of your alphabetical friends need to rethink your priorities, talk to God about your relationships, understand what love is, and realize that this feeling that you feel is just our body doing weird things and we don't necesarily have to give in and get together with someone. You mentioned that you aren't very attractive. While I'm pretty sure that your self-image is probably a little off (all girls think of themselves as unattractive), why does that matter? If a guy truly, TRULY likes you for who you are, then he shouldn't care about your looks. And if your looks do matter and he doesn't like you because you aren't pretty enough, then he isn't a guy that is nice enough to date or even like. Also, on that statement, it doesn't matter if you think you are pretty, ugly, average, or unattractive. What you look like on the outside doesn't matter as much as what's on the inside. Remember, the thing that is important is what God thinks of you. While I am even guilty of looking in the mirror and getting depressed over my looks, all of us girls need to remember that it doesn't matter what is on the outside. I encourage you to talk to someone older that you trust, a youth leader, pastor, or any adult, and ask them for their advice as well. They've been through this game before. They'll have good advice for you too. |
| Miss Weird: I like someone. We'll call him A. Adn so I like A. A once dated my friend, whom we can call B. Then B broke up with A in a rather abrupt manner. Then A started hanging out with this other girl, who i'll name C. And so A and C are going out, but they're not boyfriend and girlfriend. They are waiting for C to get to High School. A is a freshman this year, and C is in 8th grade. And I am friends with A, and he says he loves me just as a friend, but, we have so much in common, and I don't know how to tell him that I like him with out him flipping out, or making that face, you know when you get dissapointed or frusterated, and you run your hand down your face and massage your brain... well, i don't want that to happen. there was another girl, who i'll call D, that told him she liked him. A thinks of D as a sister-type person. I think A thinks of me as a friend, not a sister-type friend. So, basically, how do i get him to like me?!!? p.s. i am also not very attractive. signed, in love with A. I call myself E, since i haven't used that letter. |