inlove

Dear In Love,

First, I want to point out something. You signed the letter "ln Love." I like to stress these days, "Are you TRULY in love?" Read 1 Corinthians, Chapter 13. The whole chapter. Its often called the Chapter of Love because in here, Paul addresses to the Corinthians about what love TRULY is. Do you truly love this boy or do you just like him? I want to stress to you and many other girls out there that we shouldn't throw around "I love you" like it's meaning is equivalent to "I like you." There is a difference and God makes that clear in chapter 13. So do you truly love him? Please, let all of us girls try to not throw around the word "love" easily.

Okay, on to your original question. Your question is if you should go out with him or not, is that correct? From your letter, I am getting the feeling that you want to go out with him but you aren't sure if its ok. Well, let me quote you and show you a few things that you've said. I've highlighted the important parts. Maybe you can notice some of the things I'm noticing.

a)"I mean, he lives in a different city, but we talk on the phone every day, starting a few days ago, and we talk online."
b)"I've never face-to-face met the guy..."
c)"what if he comes to hang out at my house, and my friend sees? I really don't want to give him up!"

a) You've been talking to him on the phone for just a few days. Your only other means of communication has been the phone, which, I am guessing, hasn't been very long either. We shouldn't choose our boyfriends, aka the guys we got out with, lightly. With each boy we got out with, we are giving a piece of our heart away. By the time we finally get married to the husband we are going to be with for the rest of our lives, our heart is already torn up with pieces taken out! I'm not discouraging dating, but dating with the wrong person is NOT good. We need to become friends first before we become boyfriend and girlfriend.

b) This one correlates to the first one. You've never met the boy face to face?! That means that you probably don't know him that well. I hate to tell you, but people can sound a LOT nicer on the internet and on the phone than in real life. Whatever he says to you may be a joke! It may not be true, but it IS a possibility. Maybe that isn't the case with him, but it could be with another boy you consider later in the future. MEET the guy first. Get to know him by spending time together with other friends, not alone and secluded. Do this for ANY guy before even considering going out with him.

c) You are worried about your friend noticing. Why don't you talk to her instead of talking to me? I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but its the truth. Why don't you try to work things out with her first, see if she would mind, before thinking of ways to go behind her back and go out with him. Communication is the key in ANY relationship. And do you want to put a friendship with this girl on the line for a relationship with a guy you don't even know will last? I don't think its worth it.

You said in your last sentence that me and God are amongst the few who can help. GOD...i'm glad you mentioned Him. Why not talk to him about this? He knows a LOT more than I do. Depend on His will for your life to make all your decisions, especially ones this important. And, besides that, God and I aren't the only ones, as you said. Try talking to your parents, your pastor, a youth leader, or someone else close to you. Get an adult's guidance and God's to make your decision. I hope you will make the right one. Hope this helps you.

Miss Weird,

I have a confession to make. I think I like my best friend's ex-boyfriend. I see the problem about how she is my friend, and she no longer wishes to speak to the guy, but I can't help it. I mean, they were together for less than 2 weeks, so is it o.k. for me to tell him that I like him? or more so, date him? I mean, he lives in a different city, but we talk on the phone every day, starting a few days ago, and we talk online. I've never face-to-face met the guy, but, I must be smitten. I know it is more than infatuation, because I've liked him for over 2 months, but then my friend was dating him, and I knew he was off limits. I want to say friends with my friend, but I really like her ex. He has friends close to where my friend lives, and I live close to my friend, and what if he comes to hang out at my house, and my friend sees? I really don't want to give him up! What should I do, Miss Weird? You and God are amongst the few who can help.

Love,
In Love