| My mistress put her icy hand on my shoulder and led me to Mother's chamber. "Queen Adela is extremely ill so don't be alarmed when you see her." Mistress Jenen told me as we walked slowly to the doorway. This was the only time I'd ever seen her sympathetic toward me. We approached the door and I stepped inside. "Princess Arinna," the nurse greeted me and curtsied; her eyes unhappy, "remember that your mother is very sick." Why did they have to keep saying that Mother was very sick? I knew that. In fact, I knew she was dying. They were trying to hide death from a nine-year-old. My mother's life was expiring and all they could do was try to make my mother's end sound like it was just a simple illness and would soon be over. I slowly walked up to the bedside of my weakening mother. I curtsied. "Mother," I whispered. I didn't know what to say. "Are you feeling any better?" Of course she wasn't. Ket had said she only had a day or so to live. Queen Adela, Mother, looked up to me. Her face was as white as the snow falling outside the castle window. Her face brightened slightly at the sight of me; her smile was weak. "Arinna," she whispered. "Arinna, my daughter." Father rushed into the room. "Adela." He said. His loud voice interrupted the dreadful quiet. "Oh Adela," tears rushed down his cheeks. He hurried into her arms. I knew that he had wished to sit by my mother's side every second, but his duties called him. I watched my loving parents embrace. They loved each other, they loved me, they loved the kingdom. Tears slowly fell down my cheeks. I'd known that Mother was dying for weeks, and this was the first time I cried, but all tears I'd been confining for weeks were let out that day. I left soon afterwards. I couldn't stay with Mother. It was too painful. Mistress Jenen let me go off alone for once, taking into account my grieving state. I walked down the many corridors where memories would flood my mind. I walked to the castle's towers and reminisced. I went to my nursery, the library, and the kitchen where more memories than I could count were relived. Memories, memories of times with Mother and me. And I cried. I remembered the times when we'd cook pastries, tarts, cookies, and breads in the kitchens, when we'd play tag in the corridors, when we played games and pretended we were knights in the towers, when we'd read for hours by the fire in the library, when we'd act like children in the nursery. I remembered all the times we'd had together and realized that there would be no more. My last adventure with my mother was now, but this one didn't cause laughter and flour fights. This one didn't have stories or games in it. This adventure was a painful adventure, not one that I could end with. I needed to hear one more laugh from my mother's heart. That night after supper, I went to my mother's chamber and found Father there, along with the doctor and nurses. "Mother," I curtsied. Mother shook her head. "No. Don't curtsy. I'm just Mother, not Queen Adela. I'm just Mother." She coughed after her statement. It was too long and her heart couldn't take it. Would the laugh that she gave me be her doom? "Mother," I made my way to her bed. "Can we be alone for a little while?" "Of course," Father said and told everyone to wait outside until we finished. When we were alone, I forced a smile. "Mother, remember our last flour fight?" I asked, hoping she would smile. She did. "Remember that big bag of flour we started out with and finished with it empty?" She nodded. I went on. "Remember when we read the book called �The Laugher' in the library?" "Yes," her voice was weaker than before. "What about it?" I paused and the tears erupted again. "I'm going to miss you terribly." I sobbed on her bed and Mother's hand found its familiar spot on my head and began to stroke my hair. She murmured something I didn't understand and then begun to hum a song. Then she coughed and the doctor came rushing in through the closed door. "Your mother needs rest." he told me. "You do too. Run along to bed now please, Princess. It's for your mother's health." I did as I was told, but I didn't sleep. I just lay there and wept. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of Ket pouring water into my washbasin. "Ket!" I immediately jumped up and frantically looked to her. "How is Mother?" Ket turned to me, her soft blue eyes filled with so much sorrow, I was afraid that Mother had died. "She's resting, Your Highness." Ket replied, her short blonde hair was pulled back in a handkerchief. Her tattered, sooty dress was just below her knees and her bare feet were filthy, but her face was clean. Ket was one year older than I was, but she was shorter than my five-foot frame. "Ket," I climbed out of bed into the frosty, morning air. She held my robe open as I pushed my arms into its warm, welcoming sleeves. I turned to my friend. "Is Mother doing better?" "I don't know, Princess." Ket answered. I watched her place a log on the dying embers in the hearth. "I wasn't allowed to see Queen Adela this morning. The doctor wouldn't allow it." I nodded a thanks and said farewell. After she'd left, I pulled on a dress. It was a dark, forest green, made of a velvety material, with a yellow sash wrapped around the waist and tied into a simple bow in the back. I tied my long brown hair in a matching bow. I stood and inspected myself in front of a tall mirror near the door. The dress looked too happy. I left my quarters. Mother's dying state still weighed heavily on my heart and mind. I passed the banquet hall straight to Mother's chamber. I couldn't eat breakfast this morning. I approached Mother's room and heard Father crying. I quickened my step."Mother?" I cried. "Not now, Princess," the nurse tried to push me out of the room and block my view, but I saw too much. Father was holding Mother's hand, sobbing so loudly and rocking back and forth. "Mother!" I shrieked and tore from the nurse's grasp. I knew what was happening. Mother was dying. "Mother!" I raced to her other hand. "Arinna," Mother turned to me. "Ruffert," She whispered to my father. "I love you both." Her voice was hoarse. "No Mother!" I wailed. "Don't leave now!" It was useless. Then Mother's grasp on my hand weakened and her eyes slowly closed. She died. Queen Adela, my mother, my friend, my companion was dead. |
| Death of a Friend |
| An Excerpt from "Princess of Avinon" |