Now that the hot and heavy is finished, a little check up on our favourite blond scientist is in order�.
003 is currently pecking the back of my neck for blowing up the lab. She had hid in the little nest she�s made under my office desk out of lint from my pockets, shreds of paper that I let her tear up, and hair from my head. It looks rather comfortable, actually. Lucky bird.
�We make quite a pair, don�t we?� I ask, and get a hoot in reply. She�s mocking me, again. I seem to be making it easier of her to do so.
�Shows what you know.� I mutter. Shows me that I�m desperate�I mean, 003�s nice and all, she�s my best friend�but I�m really not into bestiality and I think I�ve been cursed with something worse than Bon�s marks. Eternal loneliness. Sucks royally if you want my opinion.
Gushoshin the Younger dropped something off about ten minutes ago, I�m not sure if I want to look at it right now. I�d asked the Elder to do some research for me on any new information the human world has on hormone replacement therapies. I will find a way to change the sexes�unfortunately, up until this point all I�ve managed are some very powerful aphrodisiacs. Not exactly what I was looking for�but useful none the less. Unfortunately, not for me. Even after that blatant offer to Tatsumi� I�m beginning to think no one really wants me here. I�ve got no partner, haven�t for a long time, no stable job since it�s always exploding, and I believe I could be a little, just a smidgen, shall we say, eccentric.
Who in their right mind would want to tie themselves to a nut case for all eternity? I wonder if Bon and Tsuzuki have�I hope Bon understood what I was telling him and didn�t make any rash decisions. His eyes looked a little glazed over when I explained that penetration bonds the souls of the participants to one another forever. Tsuzuki knows, but I�m not sure if Hisoka does. That�s why I�m so good with my tongue. No one�s ever wanted to do the nasty and get stuck with me.
I�m so depressed I don�t even need to think about being depressed to know I�m depressed. Irrationally so. I�ve been dead and in this department of the afterlife for nearly thirty years, a guy needs to get laid! Everyone needs companionship�
I�ve only survived this long because of 003. She�s been there for me when I thought I was about to take a long walk off a short pier to the long dead loony bin. But she�s a bird. An owl. A very small, very adorable, constant friend to me, but still just an owl.
�You love me, don�t you 003?� I ask, holding my finger out as a perch. She takes it, cocks her head to the side, and hoots, then proceeds back to my shoulder where she rubs her head against my neck.
�Love you too.� In a flurry of wings, she�s gone. It�s not the first time she�s just disappeared, and it won�t be the last. Such a small thing has a small stomach, and I realize I haven�t fed her at all today. Fast metabolism too. 003 eats twice her body weight daily, which still isn�t much compared to the mass of what most people eat, with her weighing maybe a half pound total, but still... I wonder how much she actually does weigh. I�ll need to find out�she�s getting bigger, or her talons are getting sharper.
Someone knocks at my door.
�Come in!� I don�t shout, just speak louder than normal. The door opens to show Tatsumi�without his glasses.
Damn he�s hot. You wouldn�t think it at first, what with his glasses and stick up the butt fashion statement, but when the glasses come off and the tie�s not done up so tight as to inhibit blood flow, to put it simply, yum�
�What can I do for you Tatsumi-san?� Please say I can do you�
�I need a screw.� He says, utterly calm and collected. Nonchalant even. Just walks in and asks for sex. I think I swallowed my heart, either that or 003 didn�t disappear, she teleported and is flapping inside of my gut.
�I beg your pardon?� I squeak.
�Like the one I lost on the floor of my office. Just a small screw.� So he _did_ think about the offer I made. Intriguing.
�Do you want it fast or slow?� I can�t help but tease him. It�s a natural reaction whenever I�m startled.
�As fast as possible, if it�s not too much of a bother.� Too much of a bother? A bother?!
�I�m happy to oblige.� I smirk. Things are definitely looking up. I stand and start to move towards him, fast and furious he wants, fast and furious he�ll get.
�Thank you. You have no idea what this has done to me.� He mutters, looking displeased. It�s like a dash of cold water. Maybe a slow down and talk first is in order�but now I want him�mou�
�Done to you?� I ask, raising an eyebrow.
�I can�t see straight anymore�It�s driving me insane.�
�It�s that bad?� Wow�maybe he likes me more than he�s letting on� he does have the whole anal retentive image to maintain though�
�It�s horrible. I can�t go anywhere or do anything without getting this screw��
�Well then you came to the right place.� I leer. Oh, I�m going to enjoy this!
�Thank you Watari. I have a set of tools in my office, if you can get there within the hour it would be appreciated.� Uh�tools? Why does that make me a little nervous? Okay�.really, really, _really_ nervous.
�No problem. Want me to bring anything?� Lube�condoms�ball gags� handcuffs�
�Actually, I�ll just leave my glasses with you instead. I can�t use them anyways when they�re broken like this. Bring them over when you�re done.� He turns and leaves my office, closing the door quietly behind him.
GLASSES! ARGH! I think I�m going to die, again�.and banging my head on my desk does nothing�stupid healing abilities.
Glasses�a screw for his glasses. The flap of tiny wings tells me 003�s back and she coughs up a little metal pin.
She�s so helpful I could scream.
I�m such an idiot.
--
I may be blind�but I�m not _blind_�Enma-sama why do you torture me so? He practically jumped me right then and there, and all I did was ask for help with my glasses. Glasses, the least alluring article of clothing or accessories that I own. He really is a kink�
