RP TITLE:

A LEG-SPREADING WHORE OF A PROMO!

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::Disclaimer:: Please, do not steal this layout. This Roleplay is in use for the 2XWF E-Fed. This Roleplay is not to be used anywhere else. This Roleplay is brought to you by me. Do not take this roleplay seriously, this is under the character of Miami Missile. If you have a problem with this roleplay, please e-mail me, David Bailey Enjoy this roleplay. Enjoy ::Disclaimer::

People Used:

People Mentioned:

Place of Role Play:

Current Record:

OOC Note:

Miami Missile, Mikey,Justin,2XWF Reporter

Dragon and Impact.

Justin Matthew's house

2-0-3

Feedback is appreciated!
The Man
The Myth The Legend


(.::. We see a smoky room, the classic card school scene, there is a wooden table. One of the legs seems to be wobbly because it is propped up by old editions of 'Hustler' and 'Playboy' that are ancient, dating back from that week when Sable's name drew money. There are two people at opposite ends of the table. To the camera's right was Mikey Crockett , he had a vanilla ice haircut that was dyed green and wore typically punkish clothes whereas at the other end was Justin Matthews, a preppy who had his hair perfectly parted centrally and has a polo shirt under a cashmere tank top. Between these two nearest the camera is Miami Missile wearing a 'I'm an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared!' t-shirt , a ball-bearing necklace and has metallic blue nail varnish on. The camera zooms in on some newspapers that are by Miami's chair they each have varying headlines like 'Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents' ,'Iraqi Head Seeks Arms' , 'Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?','It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats!', 'Prostitutes Appeal to Pope' and 'Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training'. They each have a hand of cards , the clock behind the table reads '11.06AM'. They only have three cards so Blackjack seems the game and each has an equal pile of money. .::.)

Miami: Yo Justin, I can't believe you're gonna get married to that piece of crap Lori!!!

((He throws in his hand '20'))

Justin: Why? I mean just cos you're still too busy laying sorority girls at the age of 23 doesn't mean I want that to happen to me all my life!

((He throws his hand in '19))

Mikey: Well at least you're both getting sex! Apparently the longer me and Michelle wait the better it will be! I mean I got balls the size of bowling balls!

((He throws in his hand '21'. Mikey gathers the money..Miami starts dealing again.. He throws Justin two cards..))

Justin: Hit me.....

((Miami deals him another card.))

Justin: Miami, listen I got a few things to say about sorority girls...What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?

Mikey:Beats me....

Justin: You can only put three fingers in a bowling ball,you could eat a bowling ball if you had to and you can't fit a sorority girl inside a bowling ball! Another question about seating arrangements..How do you fit four sorority girls on one barstool?

Miami: Man don't even crack this one! Imagine if Lori found out that you knew this from personal experience!

Justin: Turn it upside down! I mean the only difference between sorority girls and the Titanic is that only 1500 people went down on the Titanic! If you want proof why I moved on from sorority girls just remember Dianne Fisher!!

((Miami and Mikey both start to drool..))

Justin: I'm serious guys! The only way you knew if she had an orgasm was when she dropped her f-cking nail file!

((Miami then deals Mikey some cards.))

Mikey: Hit me..

((Miami throws another card to Mikey.))

Mikey: Stick! Hey Miami ! Remember what you said about getting married earlier this week?

((Miami starts to look alarmed as if he knows his dumb friend is about to land him in sh-t!))

Mikey: You said that the only difference between a teenager's first job and a wife is that five years later the job still sucks!

((Justin looks like Mt. Vesuvius has just eruptedin his head.))

Miami: Chill dude!

((Miami peels off two cards from the top of the deck and then another from the bottom.))

Miami: Talking bout Lori hows her diet going? I mean why???

Justin: Check the fridge....

((We cut to the fridge. It has this list...

  • If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
  • If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
  • When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
  • Food use for medicinal purposes never count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
  • If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
  • Movie related foods, such as Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls, do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.


  • Cooky pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie leakage.


  • Things licked off of knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Example: peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich, and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.


  • Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, and mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.))

    Miami:DUDE! That's some seriously loopholed sh-t!

    ((The three guys throw their cards in...Miami= Five Card twist , Mikey=8 , Justin=21.))

    Miami: Ha! I win !

    ((The phone rings.Miami answers it even though they are at Justin's house.))

    Miami: Yo! A party in the park?2XWF cameramen?Great! Heavy metal? Cool! Skirts? Woah! See ya in about five minutes!!!

    ((Miami hangs up.))

    Miami:DUDES! There is a party on the otherside of town that needs us!

    ((Justin looks up from a paper.))

    Justin: (Apathetically) Uh-huh...whatever Batman!

    Miami: Damn your pathetic townie ass!

    Justin: Townie?

    Miami: Dance and pop loving , Eminem worshipping, Metal bashing b-stard! Come on man! This is your last chance to nail something that doesn't care!

    Justin: Not true...

    Miami: You're getting married in like two weeks!

    Justin: I meant I could nail your mom!

    Miami:Watch it!

    Justin: I'd split her like an atom !

    Miami: Dude! Thats more out of order than an english phonebox!

    Mikey: I'll go! But we have to stop off at a 7/11 first!

    Miami: Deal! Justin you coming?

    Justin: I suppose, if I don't then I'll just end up having to pay bail for you two like last time!

    ((Miami and Mikey look at each other as if they were posed with multiple quadratic equations whilst trying to figure out what women want.))

    Justin: That time that you took it upon yourself to post various pictures around selected exclusive Hollywood restaurants that a certain Ally McBeal star frequented with the poster 'MISSING: IF YOU HAVE SEEN THIS PERSON'S BREASTS, IF SO CALL THIS NUMBER ' and then had a pic of Calista Flockhart!

    ((Miami bursts out laughing))

    Miami: Oh yeah! I remember that! Man her lawyers were harsh! By the way its just crossed my mind, why were we just informed of this party?

    Justin: We weren't ...

    ((pulls out a flier 'PARTY IN THE PARK: METAL, MOSH PITS AND MAMMORIES; GUYS BRING YOUR MUGS:GALS BRING YOUR JUGS!!!'))

    Justin: ...I just didn't fancy it!

    Miami: To close this damn matter on sorority girls...I hate virgins, they are annoying, 'Ooh slow down!' , c'mon Justin your agree and don't deny it! What do you call a virgin on a waterbed? A cherry float!

    Justin: Why do I agree?

    Miami: Look at the damn sticker on your fridge under the list. Remember you cracked that cherry floats joke at your 21st?

    ((The camera shows a sticker that reads 'VIRGINS: THANKS FOR NOTHING!'))

    Justin: That was yours!

    Miami: You brought it of your own free will!

    Justin: I'd hardly call a night of bong hits free will!

    Miami: I would!

    ((The three exit the house to the car bickering about the sticker on the fridge.))

    **2 MINUTES LATER**

    ((In the car Justin is driving, Miami is shotgun and Mikey in the back.))

    Justin: Did you see Dragon's promo the other day?

    Miami/Mikey: Yeah...

    Miami: He's a disgrace to the World Title, using it to meet women and impress them, I never did that!

    Mikey/Justin: Yeah you did...

    Justin: Actually Miami that was all you did!

    Miami: Name ONE girl I influenced with that at any time!

    Mikey: It was never one ! Always two and you'd leave with both or the best! We never got the names , sorority girls always say the same thing in the morning 'My name is x!'!

    Miami: Turn the radio on!

    ((They turn the radio on, its commercials.))

    **Illiterate? Write For Help. Remember kids,If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People!! Immodium! Because Constipated People Don't Give A Crap! New Nike condoms! Just Do It **

    Miami: Turn it off!!

    ((They start the car and we cut to a shot of the back of the car which shows the car with the bumper sticker 'I Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant!'))

    Mikey: Hey , if it's tourist season here in Miami does that mean we can shoot them?

    Justin/Miami:SHUT THE HELL UP MAN!!!

    ((They throws dashboard ornaments at Mikey, Nodding dogbert, Swaying hula girl etc.))

    Mikey: I need some cigarettes , tell you what, forget 7/11 , just pull into this gas station here!

    Miami:Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

    Justin: I dunno, spose it's in the same boat as 'If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?' or 'If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?'

    Mikey: Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical questions?

    ((Miami and Justin glare at Mikey , they pull into the gas station and enter. There is a cross-eyed guy reading a newspaper.))

    Mikey: Hey I have the ultimate hypothetical question!!

    Miami: ((As if he has heard this statement a million times)) Go on then!

    Mikey:If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

    ((They all crease up laughing, everyone stares. Mikey gets back up and buys some cigarettes and they return to the car.))

    Mikey: Are we there yet?

    Miami: Nearly , just down the road..

    ((They turn down the road and we hear the heavy metal fill the air, they pull into a parking spot and as they get out Miami is mobbed by a 2XWF reporter.))

    Miami: I'll see you guys there!

    ((Justin and Mikey go their seperate ways.))

    2XWF Reporter: What do you think of your opponent Impact?

    Miami: I think he does the work of three men!

    2XWF Reporter: Really? Who may they be?

    Miami: Larry,Curly and Moe!

    2XWF Reporter: Right, what is your opinion on him then?

    Miami: Well the locker room has some nasty rumours, I heard his motto for sex was 'Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One!' ...

    2XWF Reporter: Which you reportedly started...

    Miami: I just pass along the message as I hear it.

    2XWF Reporter: Reports have been going round that you are no longer main event material, how, at the age of 23, does it feel to be accused of being washed up? With no title and no major vendetta anymore what can you offer the 2XWF?

    Miami: Washed up? I turn in promos that are of a higher quality than anyone else! I can still turn in the performances that steal the show and just remember that everything Dragon does I taught him. I didn't even teach him half of my skill. I could have made him invincible but I decided to keep that for myself. Certain people have to realise that I was the first 2XWF World champion for a reason, I didn't win that title through luck but by using skill, tactics and back-up plans. These strategies I use for any match be it a World Title defence at a Pay-Per-View or a curtain jerker at a small time independangt card. I don't offer the 2WXF anything but my skills, the fans I personally don't care for nor particularly want their support. They are fair-weather 'fans' and I don't and probably never will, need them. I fight for me and do wha I want..

    2XWF Reporter: Would it be fair to say that you don't know any rules?

    Miami: NO! I know the rules , it is important to learn the rules, that way you will know how to break them!

    2XWF Reporter: What about Impact's claims of you being too unconscious to cut a promo?

    Miami : Sure I had a substance problem back then but it never got that bad, I would get bad enough to hit on girls badly but I was always coherent. Wherever he found that footage he should get another source. Besides this is no longer the PWF, this is the 2XWF, I am the veteran here and I know the , pardon the pun, ropes. Impact had better watch his back and his mouth because his mouth will not only have his foot in it this saturday but also my boot , and when I hit the Missile Launch he will be put into the 'Whore' position, shoulders pinned firmly to the mat from pain as watches me escape.

    2XWF Reporter: Your opponent thinks this match could go either way...

    Miami: Well he is about realise that like the rest of us that anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. That is what applies when fighting me, you have to give 110% and be able to have both luck and fortune to catch me on a bad day.

    2XWF Reporter: What about the steel cage you two will fight in, will this cause you any problems despatching Impact?

    Miami: Everytime beforehand that I have fought with Impact it has never been a straight fight, there is always some kind of stipulation or title on the line and this is no different. I will see to it that he will be writhing on his back in agony staring at the ceiling tiles and hearing the boos of the crowd as I escape the cage and prove to him and the world that I still have it!

    ((Justin runs up to Miami))

    Justin: Yo Miami!

    Miami: Uh?

    Justin: Come quick, Mikey's hitting on a chick, he's about to get flamed!!

    ((The two run off as the camera cuts to Mikey chatting up a chick.))

    Mikey: C'mon babe, how about you and I go back and do the nasty? If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:

    Woman: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing!

    ((The woman then slaps the snot out of Mikey and runs off.))

    Miami: Later 2XWF , Impact I still have loads to say about you!

    ((Miami runs off with Justin and Mikey to listen to some metal as the camera fades out.))

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