Please read this! The story is written for fun – I do not intend to offend anyone. If it happens, I’m really sorry, I never meant that to happen.

 I’m still using the Japanese-version names.

Disclaimer: Beyblade nie jest moją własnością. (Now I’ve gotten bored with saying in German that I don’t own Beyblade, so I’m sayimg it in Polish instead.)

 

The Grumbling Room: Chapter 18

 

-         Do I look suicidal? – wondered Yuri, examining his face carefully in a mirror.

-         Now? – Kai smirked. – Now you look as if you fell in love with your own reflection.

-         I’m serious! – growled the redhead.

-         I commit suicide (or at least try to) more often than you do. – snapped the Japanese.

-         Do I look suicidal or not?! – growled the Russian.

-         No. – sighed Rei. – It’s just another plot trick. Will they get in time to save him?.. – he paused dramatically. – Will the ambulance come in time?.. Will the beloved stay at his side waiting to proclaim his/her undying love?.. Stuff like that.

-         Jerry Springer came here. – muttered Boris.

-         Oh no! – the other beybladers cried in dismay.

-         Now we’ll learn that Rei betrayed Mao with Kai, who went out also with Takao, who was making out also with Max, who is the boyfriend of Emily, who’s the girlfriend of all All Stars, who have also sex with each other and with Olivier, who goes out with Giancarlo, who has a dozen of girlfriends and secretly admires Johnny, who betrays him with Ralf, who also fucked Yuri, who sleeps with Boris, Sergey and Ivan, and they all got raped by Balkov, who is Souichiro Hiwatri’s whore, who also fucked Kyouju, who is a fetishist and can’t have sex without his computer... – rambled Kiki.

-         That’s enough. – growled Kai. – We get the picture.

-         My head is spinning. – muttered Takao.

-         You know, I wonder where all the animal people come from? – wondered Ivan.

-         The only ones in the show are the neko-jins in that Tiger Valley in China. – said Kai.

-         And with all those others in fan fiction it starts to look like the Breath of Fire series! – exclaimed Takao.

-         Or Esceflowne. – added his captain.

-         Anyway, I don’t think he - chimed up Yuri, while pointing at Takao - will ever look better than I do.

-         So? – snorted Boris. – He’s not ugly, but I don’t expect him to beat you... He’ll never get taken for a girl by mistake.

-         Shut up. – growled the redhead. – At least I don’t look like I’ve taken a bath in bleach.

-         Oh Kiki! – Rei said sounding dangerously sweet. – You know, you were paired up with Max?

-         Er... – the green-haired trickster gulped. – Wouldn’t he tell me not to be mean and not to trick people?

-         Exactly. – his former teammate said with a smirk.

-         That’d be boring! – the small Chinese whined. – Why doesn’t anyone appreciate my fine sense of humor?

-         I’m sure Iv... – started Yuri and yelped. – What do you think you’re doing, you dimwitted pipsqueak?!

-         Kicking you in your ankle. – came the answer. The long nosed Demolition Boy glared at his captain. – Leave my sexual preferences alone. Anyway I have proof Boris is suicidal.

-         And what is it? – snorted the pale Russian.

-         Somebody paired you up with the Mao-girl!

-         Rei and Rai are coming for me, I can feel it. – muttered the lavender-haired teen.

-         And than she wouldn’t like you anyway. – growled Rei. – Not after you tried to kill me.

-         Whatever. – muttered Boris.

-         Anyway, our dear author should’ve created more girls. – said Kiki.

-         What for? – asked Takao.

-         Well, so that we wouldn’t all get paired up either with Mao or Emily. – filled the green-haired boy in. – And they wouldn’t look like… er… you know?

-         You have serious problems. – snorted Kai. – Pray it’ll stay that way.

-         Why everybody forgets our launchers are guns? – grumbled Ivan.

-         And why should they remember it? – said Boris. – It’s not as if we ever had a chance to use them as weapons… I’m not sure, if they were real weapons.

-         I want a Kalashnikov! – whined Yuri.

-         And I want a Dragunov! – added Ivan, sounding very similar to his captain.

-         And I want a chainsaw. – muttered the pale Russian sarcastically.

-         Get away from me, you freaks! – yelled Takao.

-         Speaking of freaks, somebody wrote cyborgs have stronger instincts than people. – sniggered the redhead.

-         Eh? – the blue-haired Japanese tilted his head. – What do cyborgs have to do with instincts?

-         Precisely my point. – the Russian captain shook his head. – As far as I can remember a cyborg is part machine, part human. And this definitely doesn’t enhance any instincts.

-         Unless somebody implants you something that’d do it. – pointed out Boris.

-         That’d be stupid. – snorted Kai. – Who would want their cyber to go nuts whenever he sees a… a… pair of nice legs or something like that?

-         That reminds me of Giancarlo. – chuckled Takao.

-         He wasn’t that bad. – muttered Rei. – A flirt? Sure. A pervert? No.

-         Well, he didn’t ask any girl to let him squeeze her breasts, or something like that. – commented the captain of the Bladebreakers. – And that’s common for perverted guys in anime – look at Mutenroshi or steal underwear like Happosai.

-         The whole team gets too snobby. – chimed in Takao. – They were snobs, but not that big!

-         They think it’ll be funnier that way. – the black-haired Chinese shrugged.

-         Aww… - Ivan sniggered. – Poor Sergey, somebody paired him up with Steve.

-         Isn’t that another case of ‘hey-they-didn’t-even-say-a-word-to-eachother-during-the-series’? – Boris asked.

-         Yeah… - the tiny Russian was laughing so hard thhat he didn’t manage to say anything else.

-         Is this some kind of a race? – huffed Yuri. – Who’ll think of the weirdest pairing or what?

-         Seems so. – nodded Kai.

-         I wonder what’s up with Kyouju’s glasses? – mused Takao. – Why does he wear them so high? He can’t have eyes up there?!

-         No, you moron. – growled the older Japanese. – It’s just the nerd stereotype – a nerd has to have glasses. And since we can’t see his eyes, he wears them like this.

 

 Meanwhile Souichiro Hiwatari decided it was teatime. Balkov had no choice, but to follow his employer – you never know, what may pop up in a head of an Evil Overlord. Now the Russian was quite sure he knew, why the Japanese drunk sake during those tea ceremonies of theirs – wasn’t kneeling like this uncomfortable!

-         I don’t understand, why so many young people think I would ‘kick out’ my grandson? – said the old man. – He may have betrayed me, but you don’t get rid of a good tool.

-         Yessir. – the scientist muttered, wondering how long, he would have to stay in that uncomfortable position.

-         Anyway, it’s your fault he betrayed us. – continued Kai’s grandfather.

-         What?! – snapped the violet-haired man. – I’m not the one, who can’t teach a child to listen to orders!

-         You weren’t evil enough. – replied Souichiro Hiwatari stoically.

-         I wasn’t evil enough? – gasped Balkiov. – I wasn’t evil enough? Who lets his grandson run around with face paint… or tattoos?

-         Who lets some upstart talk back to him? – snorted the Japanese.

-         Well, I wear very evil goggles.

-         Humph… I wear a cape. – huffed the old man. – Everybody knows Evil Overlords wear capes. And Evil Overlords are worst than Mad Scientists.

 

  A red-haired woman was nervously chewing her nails. She jerked up her head and blinked several times. Then she cleared her throat.

-         Err… Hi. – she said. – It’s my first big performance… I’m the prostitute, who sat on Souichiro Hiwatari’s lap. So, now I have my own corner and… Where should I start?.. – she bit the nail of her thumb. – Oh! You don’t know my name, right? I’m Frauke. Born in Stuttgart, Germany. Pleased to meet you. Well… I don’t really know, what I should do now, but maybe you want me to tell something or make a speech on some topic? Maybe something more on villains? Bye for now! – she sat down on a chair and took out the gameboy.

 

 

Mutenroshi = Master Roshi (DBZ) (The Brother (BuuMarq) mumble mumble* shitty American translations *mumble mumble)

Happosai is a character from Ranma. Both are Perverted Old Man.

 

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