Please read this! The story is written for fun – I do not intend to offend anyone. If it happens, I’m really sorry, I never meant that to happen.

 I’m still using the Japanese-version names.

Disclaimer: Ich besitze Beyblade und Magic Knight Reyearth nicht. (Got bored with saying in English that I don’t own Beyblade or anything else that might pop up here)

 

The Grumbling Room: Chapter 12

 

-         I wish there were more lemons. – sighed Kiki dreamily.

-         Pervert. – muttered Rei, who was brightly red. – I don’t want people to read things about my sexual life.

-         Yeah, most of them include you. – smirked Boris. – And are unrealistic too.

-         Who cares? – Ivan shrugged. – There’s sex.

-         Right, outside. – snorted Yuri.

-         I remember one. – chimed Kai in. – Snow, and Red-head here is shagging like a rabbit.

-         Brr... – the Russian captain shuddered. – What do you think, how much would a paparazzi get for such photo?

-         Much. – said Takao. – But anyway, I heard, that the ‘first time’ rarely goes good.

-         Who would like to read about the two love-birds, who forgot about something or fell down from the bed? – shrugged Ivan

-         Hey, do you know why do people make Mao and Rai rape-devils in some stories? – asked Kiki.

-         And who do they rape? – huffed Rei. – Poor, little, helpless me. Do I look like a victim or what?

-         And why do I have to be the prince in shinning armor? – sighed Kai.

-         Besides Mao and Rai are good people. – the small White Tiger frowned. – They wouldn’t do something like that.

-         And why do I end up as prostitute/street rat so often? Or why am raped so many times? – continued the black-haired Chinese.

-         You have ‘Hurt me’ written on your forehead and ‘Rape me’ on your ass, like me. – grumbled Yuri. – And of course only our dear fans can see it.

-         Besides I’m sure any of us would help you. – said Takao.

-         Yeah, the White Tigers too. – piped Kiki up. – Mao would even cheer you up! – and received a punch in the head.

-         Pervert.

-         Gee, you sure are over-reacting. – muttered the smaller Chinese.

-         You know people, I hope that nobody will write a Pocket Bishounen fic with us. – said Boris.

-         Imagine those lovely, cramped balls. – snorted Yuri.

-         And drooling perverted fangirls. – shuddered Kiki.

-         I wonder why people think that I should behave completely different in an off-set story? – mused Kai.

-         They think it’s funny to see you singing and picking flowers. – answered Rei.

-         Rather scary. – chimed Takao in.

-         But a good caricature would be lot funnier. – protested the captain of the Bladebreakers.

-         That’s the point. It’d have to be good. – said Boris impassively.

-         And I wonder, - Ivan broke in. – why are we ‘teleported’ or ‘magically summoned’ in all crossovers? Wouldn’t it be easier, if the worlds were already one?

-         More convenient – sure. – nodded Yuri. – But not flashy enough.

-         And where’s the classic: summoned by the holy princess/priestess/empress/any-other-female-magical-person? – sighed Takao. – That’s something, I’d like to see.

-         ‘Magic Knight Beyblade’ and you becoming the savior of the world? – smirked Kai. – I sympathize with the inhabitants of such place.

-         Ah-h... But you’d help me, wouldn’t you? – asked the smaller Japanese.

-         I wonder what you would do, if there wasn’t anybody to help you. – sighed the tattooed teenager.

-         Er... I’d be in biiiig trouble? – the other beyblader smiled sheepishly.

-         You know, it’s a wonder we didn’t get in trouble, - Kai said. – when you threatened Ralf, that you won’t leave until we get a match.

-         Oh? – Takao blinked.

-         He could have had us arrested for trespassing. – answered his captain.

-         He had a deep, secret urge to have this match too? – suggested the blue-haired Japanese. – And he needed an excuse?

-         Or he’s less intelligent than I thought. – added the older Bladebreaker impassively.

-         Well, how about ‘pointless humor’? – asked Rei.

-         Lovely. – snorted Boris. – Falling anvils, dancing TV-sets and such.

-         Reminds me of Loony Tunes and Bugs Bunny. – piped Ivan up. – Is funny once or twice, but when read for God knows which time, gets dead boring.

-         A humorous story should have at least hints of a plot. – nodded Yuri.

-         A real plot would be even better. – the lavender-haired Russian added.

-         Well, I always thought a good joke must have a punch line? – Kiki opened his eyes widely.

-         Me too. – agreed Rei. – But it seems we were mistaken.

-         But you know, back to the crossover part. – said Takao. – Why is it almost always Yugioh?

-         The TV’s were broadcasting it at the same time as Beyblade? – suggested Kai.

-         Say, I just invented a Mary-Sue. – Boris grinned very evilly.

-         You’re joking?! – Kiki almost fell from his chair.

-         That’s the easiest thing in the world. – shrugged the pale boy. – Her name is Mary-Anne Imsogreat. Has blond her with blue and pink highlights and blue eyes, which turn to green, amethyst and several other colours. She wears skimpy, ‘hip’ clothes. Everybody loves her, although she has no character whatsoever.

-         Hey! – Ivan sniggered. – This is a bit boring – lemme help you. Her boobs are so big, that whenever she tries to climb somewhere she breaks the steps.

-         I don’t think so. – the taller Demolition Boy shook his head. – Her elven powers would prevent it.

-         Elven powers? – Kiki asked.

-         Lord of the Rings, kid. – Boris answered.

-         You’re nuts. – said Takao.

-         Sure. – nodded Ivan, smiling happily. – That’s why I still have fun.

-         Oh Yuri? – the blue-haired Bladebreaker shook his head. – Somebody paired you up with Max.

-         Who? – the red-head blinked in confusion.

-         The blond kid in orange pants. – filled Kai in.

-         Oh, seems I’m attracted by flashy colours. – shrugged the Demolition Boy.

-         And there was some you/Michael too. – added Kiki.

-         Er... The American baseball guy? – Yuri frowned. – Isn’t he a bimbo?

-         Yep. – nodded Kai.

-         Hey listen! – the small White Tiger was smirking in an evil way. – What do you get when you cross Michael with chocolate?

-         We have no idea... – sighed Rei.

-         Airhead Surprise!

-         Poor Mike. – Takao shook his head. – You’re only jealous he’s taller than you.

-         Height means really much. – said the Chinese. – If I were taller, I’d have more fans.

-         He’s right! – Ivan nodded. – And people wouldn’t mistake me with a six-year-old or call me pipsqueak!

 

-         Balkov? – Voltaire’s voice sounded annoyed. – Would you please explain why our brilliant plan failed?

-         We relayed too much on four kids instead of heavy artillery. – the scienist growled.

-         Ah-h... But those who tried take over the world before us, caused great wars and used heavy artillery, failed too. – the Japanese pointed out.

-         They conquered at least a part of the world. – snorted the younger man.

-         But they failed. – Kai’s grandfather glared at the Russian. – Besides, bit-beasts have more power than artillery.

-         And it was only the first stage. – sighed Balkov. – If the Demolition Boys would become very popular, less people would oppose.

-         And I would rule the world! – yelled Voltaire and proceeded to laugh in the typical Evil Overlord way.

-         I wonder, if those Evil Overlords have meetings where they practice that kind of laughter. – muttered the purple-haired man, rubbing his ears. – But I do wonder, why almost every angst story contains child abuse?

-         Maybe because it’s more... vivid? – said the older man. – But I do believe, that angst story with that boy... Kyouju wouldn’t have to contain that. It’s enough, that his surrounded by people, who are much more noticeable. Not as shy, or look ‘flashier’.

-         Anyway, it makes you wonder about the stamina of the ‘poor, abused baby’. – snorted the Russian scientist. – Shouldn’t he be dead, after, say, two weeks of beatings and starving?

-         Realism doesn’t matter these days. – sighed Kais grandfather.

 

Magic Knight Beyblade = Magic Knight Reyearth, with Beyblade characters.

 

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