I’m still using the Japanese-version names (Na-na-na!)

Disclaimer: Ich besitze Beyblade, Digimon, Pokemon und Monster Rancher nicht. Und ich würde niemals träumen das ich „Alice in Wunderland“ oder „American MacGeese Alice“ habe. (Got bored with saying in English that I don’t own Beyblade)

 

The Grumbling Room: Chapter 11

 

-         Oh, Takao? – Rei turned looked at his teammate. – How come you can eat so much?

-         He’s the Not-So-Serious-Anime-Hero. – answered Kai, before the other Japanese could say a thing. – It’s one of their main features.

-         OK. – nodded the said beyblader. – But I’m not Son Goku from DB to eat five tables and some authors clearly think it is possible for me.

-         And very funny too... – muttered Boris.

-         With his table manners? – Kai sounded surprised.

-         Which still aren’t half as bad as some people make them be. – added Rei.

-         Yeah, I’m poor and abused. – nodded Takao, whipping a fake tear from his cheek.

-         Not as much as I am. – snorted Yuri. – I have been turned into a girl.

-         Me too! – Takao yelled.

-         And me. – growled Kai.

-         Count me in. – sighed Rei.

-         Those are so predictable. – the captain of the Bladebreakers shook his head. – If I change into a girl either Rei or Yuri will suddenly start thinking with there crotches, if it’s Rei or Yuri, I’ll ‘fall in love’. If it’s Takao than Max will be the ‘happy one’.

-         Wonder why they don’t change Rai in a girl? – mused Kiki.

-         It’d be harder to change him into a sex-bomb. – answered Ivan.

-         Anyway, why does the ‘victim’ accept his fate so easily? – huffed Takao. – I mean, I’d be in denial for months!

-         You’re not the only one. – grumbled Kai.

-         But nobody cares about that! - growled Yuri. – Instead, we have to go through yet another crappy romance. Blah!

-         Or how about when we change into little kids? – grumbled Boris.

-         It’s mainly Kai or Yuri. – added Ivan

-         And suddenly they’re all cute and lovely kiddies. – sighed Takao. – I don’t get it!

-         And of course we all know how to take care of a child. – snorted Kiki.

-         And we don’t even look for a way to change them back. – piped Rei up.

-         How about when we land as pokemon, digimon trainers or other monster ranchers? – Kai sounded annoyed.

-         What the Hell for?! – his Japanese teammate rolled his eyes. – Isn’t it enough that we have bitbeasts? (Oh, and Kai it was Digidestinated or some weirder name.)

-         Whatever... – the red-eyed teenager didn’t seem really interested.

-         But why? – Yuri leaned over to the two Japanese. – Couldn’t they make a plain crossover?

-         Would be too simple. – Boris said sounding very bored.

-         But those are simple, anyway! – protested the captain of the Demolition Boys. – I mean, look: POP! we’re in another world, mysteriously transported by the authors alter-ego and meet up the moster-wackos. They give as the animal-thingies and ask for help. – he yawned. – It’s always the same... Wonder if anyone tried to change Wolborg in one of those?

-         Even if someone did, it wouldn’t make it better. – the lavender-haired boy answered disdainfully.

-         A plot would. – added Kai.

-         Ah... But they do have a plot. – yawned Ivan. – Just a very simple one.

-         And are sooo predictable. – snorted Kiki. – The ‘happy chosen’ will fall in love with various male or female characters. That’s the whole point.

-         And so we come to the new, only female team. – the blue-haired Russian didn’t look too pleased.

-         You forgot that they have a ‘kewl’ name like ‘BladeChicz’ or ‘WeaREsoKEwl’n’UrLOseRZ’. – Boris wrinkled his nose. – And guess what will happen?

-         We’ll fall in love... – Takao sighed. – It’s obvious.

-         And we can’t forget how perfect they are: long, beautiful hair, shiny, pearly-white teeth (not that I mind this part), – Rei looked slightly annoyed. -  long legs, ‘kewl’, ‘hot’ clothes – so they look like Britney Spears’ clones ...

-         And breasts bigger than Mao’s, – chimed Kai in with a smirk. Rei blushed. – not to mention they’re all smart and hate the character the author hates.

-         Who is mainly me or Mao. – grumbled the other Japanese.

-         In other words, the ‘new, female team’ is pack of Mary-Sues... usually. – the tattooed Bladebreaker said.

-         And those are always a disaster. – Yuri muttered.

-         Say, I wonder, why people make me live with my grandfather, even though he beats me, rapes me and forces to watch Teletubbies. – the captain of the Bladebreakers said annoyedly. – Do they think, I couldn’t run away? I could stay in that warehouse.

-         Well, many abused kids do run away and you would fit in that group better, than the poor, little victim, who does nothing but cries. – said Rei, while playing with his long hair. -  But you don’t act like an abused child, anyway. A neglected one – yes, but not abused.

 

 

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Comercial break

 

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 Voltaire Hiwatari was sipping tea and looking with an amused smirk at Balkov, who was glaring furiously at his superior.

-         No, you can’t have any vodka. – the old Japanese said with a grin, which could match that of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland (or more precisely from ‘American McGeese Alice’). – I don’t want you drunk. Drunk people either get too sentimental or deem themselves funny, when they’re pathetic.

-         Yes sir. – the scientist muttered unhappily. To his dismay the accursed prostitute started to giggle, in that annoying, high pitched way. He shortly wondered why Voltaire found this attractive.

-         I wonder, why almost all fanfiction is yaoi? – sighed Kai’s grandfather. – I tell you, when I was young, - Balkov immediately felt his eyelids going heavy. The ‘when-I-was-young’ talk always worked like sedative on him. – no aspiring writer would write something like that. BALKOV! Why are you snoring!?

-         I’m not snoring, sir! – the purple-haired man jumped up and fell of the chair. – I was... er... adjusting my breath! Yeah. Adjusting my breath. – he nervously muttered, while standing up and rubbing his... part where the back looses its noble name. – You are absolutely right, sir! There are too much yaoi stories.(What’s a yaoi?)

-         Ah-h... Why won’t anybody write something about my wife for change? – the elder Hiwatari sighed. – I believe, I haven’t seen any such story. And I assure you that Kai didn’t pop out of nowhere.

-         I wonder, what a family I would get, considering I’m even less popular than you. – mused Balkov. – An over-protective mother, who tells me to wear warm underwear?

-         You say, your mother isn’t like that? – said the owner of Biovolt, faking surprise.

 

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