Disclaimer: I don’t own Yu-Gi-Oh! If I did, I’d be a Japanese guy. And I don’t own Magic the Gathering either.

Warnings: This story is under no circumstances serious. If you came here looking for a deep profound plot, please turn around. It also contains various strange ideas of the authoress and her brother and them poking fun of things they find silly in Yu-Gi-Oh series and fanfiction. Anyway the current pairings are: Mai/Jounouchi (Joey) and Honda (Tristan)/Shizuka (Serenity)/Otogi (Duke Devlin). There is going to be some Seto/Isis and Yami/Yugi/Anzu(Téa) later. Oh, and I’ll be using the Japanese names. This is a parody – it might be insulting sometimes and perverted, so please don’t take it seriously! Thank you.

Feel warned.

Yu-Gi-Oh Gone Loony

The very important and meaningful starting quote:

“Greacum est, non legĭtur.”

Chapter Eight: The Curse is Arising! Will Ryou and Malik Save the Spirit of the Millennium Ring?

Seto had been forced to play Magic the Gathering against Tomato. He couldn’t allow some whacko to call him a chicken in front of Mokuba and Isis. To tell the truth, he had no idea where the Isis part came from; or rather he didn’t want to go into it. Besides, I’m pretty sure most of you are nodding knowingly by now.

Anyway, he did have a deck with himself, after all – nobody knew why. He was the first one to play a card. Unlike in Duel Monsters the players stayed silent most of the time – and half of the cards played were lands. The other commonly played cards were magic ones and “effects”.

Obviously, Tomato had more experience, but Seto seemed to be very capable. Well, most of you know by now who would win. Yes, Seto may have not usually played Magic the Gathering, but he was a genius after all.

Tomato was looking more and more desperate – his every move had been countered precisely and pushed him nearer to ultimate demise.

Parsley seemed uninterested – she probably had a too short an attention span to concentrate on a complicated card game.

Isis looked fairly interested – maybe because it was an interesting duel, or maybe because it was Seto playing… Well, probably because of Seto, since looking at somebody lose inevitably isn’t exactly that entertaining, unless you’re a sadist.

Mokuba seemed to be fascinated… but then it was his “Onii-sama” playing, so why be surprised. The boy had real chances of beating Anzu in cheerleading.

The feeling of horror Jounouchi had experienced during the last half an hour was not something, he wanted to feel ever again. The mere thought that Anzu could have been molesting his “baby sis” made his stomach rumble – although some of you might believe he was simply hungry, but not him.

He knew that all the uneasiness came from another source – his worry for his sister, who wasn’t doing anything to appease him.

“Shizuka, tell me what you and Anzu had been doing?” he asked for the probably thousandth time, and received the same answer:

“Nothing.”

It was frustrating to say the least: his brotherly intuition was telling him that his little sister wasn’t being too truthful. After all, saying flatly “no” wasn’t very convincing, if somebody was already convinced something bad has happened; and Jounouchi was. He knew Aznu did some naughty things with Shizuka and couldn’t possibly let it lie.

Still he wasn’t the person, who was worst off: Honda and Otogi were having a much worse time. Their little sugar-muffin wasn’t interested in them – heck! It wasn’t even a guy she liked. Of course they knew it was all Aznu’s fault; after all, their angel couldn’t have such atrocious ideas!

“Please tell me it isn’t true!” cried Honda with despair.

“You’re joking, right?!” joined the black-haired Dice Master.

The ginger-haired girl sighed and rubbed her temples.

“I didn’t do anything with Anzu-sempai,” she stated for about the thousand first time. It had to end, she decided. “Sempai likes Yugi-kun and Yami-san.”

The three young males stared in shock, ever so slowly grasping what they just heard.

Kajika Ryouta just joined the “I Had the Worst Shock of my Life” Club. Really, discovering that Yami actually hooked up with both Anzu and Yugi – not to mention the two agreed. That Yugi used to walk in drag, was also something he had preferred not to know.

Nevertheless, he shook Yami’s hand at the end of the duel and walked towards the sunset, seemingly in perfect shape. However, as soon as the three lovers couldn’t see him, he broke into a mad dash towards the nearest ice-cream parlour. How he needed comfort! And everybody knows the most comforting thing in the world was food, don’t they?

Ah… but I hadn’t said who won and you absolutely must know that. Yes, of course, you do. How silly of me.

I don’t think you will be very surprised to hear that it was Yami, who won? After all, the Pharaoh never lost – although there was this most disturbing rumour concerning him and strip-poker, but no serious person ever believed it.

“Oh my!” Anzu started laughing as soon as they couldn’t see the Sea Duellist any more.

“Are you sure we should have done that?” muttered Yugi unsurely.

“Don’t worry, aibou,” Yami said. “When he thinks a bit he will know it’s all not true…”

“…for now,” added Anzu and grinned. The two youths did that the same, although Yugi was blushing. “I never knew you could look so adorable in a leather mini,” she told the smaller boy, who got even redder.

And than they decided to frolic towards the sunset as well, holding hands like good little kiddies.

Mary-Sue stood on a hill in the local park, her raven-black hair fluttering dramatically in the wind, her eyes sparkling with ancient sadness. The authoress kept wondering where the wind came from, until she realized she hadn’t written anything about the weather so far, so the wind could as well be blowing.

Since it was a grave mistake, the authoress also decided to describe the weather. You can’t have a good story without the weather!

The wind was blowing, but it wasn’t strong enough to make someone lose their cards. No, it was only a breeze. However, the sky was covered by greyish clouds and it appeared that it could start raining any moment. Of course, it didn’t - that was the funny thing with the sky: it liked to play with the people and trick them it was going to rain, making them carry heavy umbrellas or uncomfortable rain-coats.

But let’s get back to Mary-Sue and her attempts on being dramatic and tragic. She had been standing like this considering how to warn the “Yu-Gi-Oh bishies” from the upcoming Terryfing Horryfing Completely Evil Event of Doom and to make them forget about those bitches (Anzu, Shizuka, Isis and Mai) and make them love her. She wasn’t very successesfull; to tell the truth, she couldn’t think of anything.

Finally, in one dramatic movement, she turned around and started walking towards the nearest MacDonalds.

Malik invited “Bobby” and Ryou to ice cream. After all they were probably very upset about the whole thing. Turning into a girl must have been very upsetting for a manly man like the Spirit of the Millennium Ring.

Indeed, “Bobby” was in a fowl mood and the thought of eating ice cream didn’t improve it; mainly because she never ate ice cream before. “She” never felt like doing it. After all, if such a whimp as Ryou liked it, it wouldn’t suit “her”. But now, she had no other choice. After all, Malik was going to buy food for her and one should never miss free food.

So they were walking hand in hand or being carried in Ryou’s case. Soon enough they reached the parlour.

“I want vanilla ice-cream!” squeaked Ryou. “Bobby” chose mint and chocolate flavoured ones and Malik went for cinnamon.

They settled down on a bench, for the parlour was near the park. The sun was shining on them and the wind died down, so the ice-cream was very welcome. The weather improved a lot oddly enough. However, the moment of peace was spoilt as the two males looked at their companion. The Spirit of the Millennium Ring was enjoying this simple treat far too much. It was clear he was becoming a woman in other aspects. If they didn’t want to face the horror called “PMS” they had to find a cure fast, before it would be too late!

“Malik, could you buy me some more?”

The question only made the Egyptian become more anxious.

Seto Kaiba’s Brilliant Words for Today:

“The genius always wins.”

A/N

The quote means “It’s in Greek, don’t read” and should be understood as
”Do what you know”.

Sorry for taking so long, but University is time-consuming.