Disclaimer: I don’t own Yu-Gi-Oh! If I did, I’d be a
Japanese guy.
Warnings: This story is under no
circumstances serious. If you came here looking for a deep profound plot,
please turn around. It also contains various strange ideas of the authoress and
her brother and them poking fun of things they find silly in Yu-Gi-Oh series
and fanfiction. Anyway the current pairings are: Mai/Jounouchi (Joey) and Honda
(Tristan)/Shizuka (Serenity)/Otogi (Duke Devlin). There is going to be some
Seto/Isis and Yami/Yugi/Anzu(Téa) later. Oh, and I’ll be using the Japanese
names. This is a parody – it might be
insulting sometimes and perverted, so please don’t take it seriously! Thank
you.
Feel warned.
***
Yu-Gi-Oh Gone Loony
***
The very
important and meaningful starting quote:
“A zupa by³a za s³ona.”
Chapter
Six: The Darkness Is Rising! Will Ryuzuki Survive?!
“Dinosaur” Ryuzuki was feeling sick. He
wouldn’t after seven helpings of vanilla flavoured ice-cream, three strawberry
flavoured ones, ten chocolate, one after eight and four straccatella ones. The
alien, who abducted him, kept stuffing more and more – right now she was
cheerfully buying some advocate flavoured ice. Sure it was tasty, but not in
that amount.
Why didn’t the duellist say no? It was rather
simple – he was afraid. The alien, who claimed her name was Sakura and was
related to some Honda Hiroto, didn’t seem like a normal person. Besides
everybody knows that extraterrestrials do horrifying experiments on unexpecting
people and Ryuzuki didn’t want that. Instead, he decided to do what the alien
wanted, even if it meant getting sick. He’d rather have that then being cut
open and turned into a zombie-like cyborg or going crazy and forming a cult of
said extraterrestrials.
“There,” the “alien” said while handing
Ryuzuki another helping of ice-cream. The boy gulped and heroically tried to
eat it. However, after a moment he turned green and after another few seconds
he threw up exactly at his tormentor. The violet-green-haired girl blinked
confusedly, as if trying to understand what just happened. She stood still for
a while and finally fainted.
The duellist jumped up, suddenly cured and
started running away. He was saved!
Seto Kaiba smirked. He had won and he was
going to rub it in. Now, I wouldn’t say it’s the most amusing thing in the
world, but he obviously had different ideas. The authoress says, she’d also
make Kaiba do other things, so we may hope, he won’t bug Haga that long.
“I’m surprised, you even took part in my
tournament with those pathetic duelling skills,” he snorted disdainfully.
“Excuse me, but I am one of the best
duellists!” growled the insect-lover.
“Oh, really? I didn’t notice that,” the CEO
answered with a triumphant smirk. Mokuba sighed – his older brother was very
cool and everything, but sometimes…
“Seto… Didn’t you notice how lame this
conversation is?” the boy inquired. His older brother paused to look at him
thoughtfully and then sigh.
“And I was starting to enjoy myself.”
“Honestly, Seto,”
“Like what?” Mokuba asked curiously.
“Playing chess!” exclaimed both the Egyptian
and the brown-haired Japanese. They weren’t going to soil the boy’s innocent
mind yet.
“Only that?”
“Ask Yugi about it.” Seto answered, feeling
that he handled the problem perfectly, especially that Mokuba nodded happily.
He wondered how would the poor innocent creature that was Yugi react.
Shizuka cheered for her brother. She did that during
his whole duel, but the authoress forgot to mention that earlier. But don’t be
mad at her, she has sieve-like memory. Anyway, as I said, Shizuka was cheering
for her brother. And since she was cheering for Jounouchi, so did Honda (who’d
have done it anyway, as he was the blonde’s friend) and Otogi. Not that the
last person really want it. He would have preferred a nice date with Shizuka.
So the dice-master was unhappy. A pity his ginger-haired angel didn’t notice –
she might have tried to cheer him up, since she was such a cute and nice girl.
But since you, dear readers are probably more
interested in a certain blonde than his little sister and her love life, the
authoress decided to get back to him. So, our brave hero had won. It wasn’t
that strange since his opponent had pathetic duelling skills and was obviously
hyperactive. And hyperactive people don’t win duels. People, who win duels,
think strategically – like Seto Kaiba or Yami – or they have good luck – like
Jounouchi.
“Ha! I won!” the blonde cried, his eyes
sparkling.
“You won!” cheered Izumi.
“Hey, shouldn’t ya be disappointed?”
“Huh?” the girl furrowed her eyebrows thinking
very hard. “Yeah, I think, I should.” And in cue, she fell to her knees and
started crying.
“Dat was not what I meant…” mumbled the
brown-eyed teen.
Mary-Sue stood motionlessly, while her hair
fluttered in the wind dramatically… Where the wind came from nobody knew, for
it was not a windy day. Her arms hung loosely at her sides and five Duel
Monsters cards lay at her feet. She was staring blankly into space, her mouth
hanging wide open, begging flies and other insects to fly in and sting or be
swallowed.
Meanwhile, Musashi was prancing around,
throwing confetti in various directions. Yes, dear readers, you are right –
Mary-Sue had lost. Ultimately, beaten by a generic character, who should have
never gotten his duel in the series. A mere passer-by, who may have appeared
for a short glimpse looking with wide eyes at Yami or Kaiba win.
“It’s… It’s impossible!” the black-haired girl
cried. “I was supposed to be the
best duellist, the most beautiful woman here!” she rambled. “I was supposed to
be perfect!”
Musashi stopped dancing his merry little dance
and looked at her with pity mixed with amusement. Now, she was taking it hard. So she flew out of the
tournament? Big deal. There would be a lot of people, who were going to loose
anyway. And besides – who plays only
with monster cards? She must have been a total newbie!
Malik Ishtar was in deep conversation with the
Spirit of the Millenium Ring, shortly Bobby – for now. They were debating about
“Bobby’s” and Ryou’s new forms, as well as Nanashi’s uncharacteristic
behaviour. The evil half was snuggling his blow-up doll to his chest and
singing a lullababy,
sounding very much grave – more like somebody singing something on a funeral.
Ryou was peacefully playing on the pavement – he was skipping on one leg back
and fro. It made “Bobby”
feel quite nervous – in “her” mind it was a girly behaviour and Ryou was still
a boy.
“No wonder he’s such a wuss…” “she” muttered.
“You shouldn’t worry about that now,” stated
Malik seriously. “We have to get you back to normal.”
“I guess so…” the spirit nodded. “Ryou, stop
jumping like that or you’ll sweat and catch a cold!”
The blonde Egyptian froze, as did Ryou. They
both looked at the ancient spirit, shock written all over their faces. “Bobby”
was holding “her” hand over “her” mouth, “her” eyes bulging. “She” swallowed
nervously.
“I didn’t really say that?”
“I’m afraid you did,” chimed in Nanashi.
“Oh no… I’m turning into a woman!” the spirit
screeched, attracting curious looks from the passer-byes. To them it seemed
more than strange that a young woman should be yelling that she was turning
into a woman. Some more observant people, thought she was dressed slightly odd
for a young female. Her clothes looked more like male ones.
Suddenly, “Bobby” stopped yelling, as a
thoughtful look crossed “her” face.
“Wit, wait, wait!” “she” growled. “He’s a part
of me in a way, isn’t he?”
The three males nodded.
“And I wouldn’t want myself sick. So it’s
perfectly natural that I don’t want him to catch a cold.” The spirit crossed
“her” arms over her chest and nodded to herself. Nanashi and Malik exchanged
disbelieving looks. “Oh, and I know why Nanashi is acting like he’s acting. He
didn’t have enough sex,” the Tomb Robber continued.
“You volunteer to change that?” Malik’s evil
half snorted.
“PERVERT!” shrieked “Bobby” and started
hitting Nanashi on the head.
Mai was humming a merry tune and looking at
her two precious cards gleefully. She didn’t notice two figures in black
clothes and she would have walked past them, if the youth hadn’t addressed her.
“Kujaku Mai! We have come to fight with you!”
he announced. The blonde woman stopped and looked at the teen with amusement.
“You will face Parsley here in the ancient game of kuku!”
“Why not Duel Monsters?” the young woman
sighed.
“Because it’s to complicated!” Parsley
exclaimed. “I can’t remember my own phone number! How could I play something as
complicated as that?!”
“And that’s why I should play a game I don’t
know?” Mai snorted. “Be serious. I have better things to do. Winning the
tournament, dating my boyfriend, etc.”
“But we won’t get paid, if we don’t fight
you!” Tomato cried. “C’mon! We don’t have to win! Just one little game?
Please?” he looked at her with pleading eyes, as if he was going to start
crying any moment.
“Oh, all right.” Mai sighed. “I can’t stand
crying guys.”
“Yay! Parsley, we’re getting our money!” the
teen squeezed his companion, who squeeled in delight.”
“Money!” she cheered. Mai rolled her eyes – if
people thought she liked money too much, they should look at those two. How
could you stoop to doing that for
money?
Seto
Kaiba’s brilliant words for today:
Remember, whenever you get asked something
you’d rather not answer, tell them to ask Yugi.
A/N
Sorry, I
always end up with delays during vacation. Trips and all… Sowy!
The
starting quote is from the Polish dub of Shrek 2. The last thing Shrek says
when he disagrees to go to meet Fiona’s parents.
Reviews:
Mezurashii: Poor you… That sure is a brain-damaging sight.
Yeah…
Sakura is freaky – ‘s why I invented her. :P
Sore wa
himtsu desu! He’d rather I wouldn’t tell you that…
Violent Eyes: Heh… Actually, Seto found out earlier, he
shouldn’t call her that.
::hugs::
Aww… I won’t leave you like that. It might take me long to update, but I will
no matter what.
Kaiba: Well, I am a genius after all…
Jewel of
And continue I shall.
mai valentine: I’m happy, you do. :)