Started December 18th 2002, released January 5th 2007 We Have Each Other By Missbevcrusher I started writing this story right after I came home from watching Nemesis at the movies. Needless to say, I took way too long to post it. I guess I was never satisfied with it and was always coming up with new ways to go about the plot. In the end, I decided to leave it as is and keep my other ideas for my other works in progress. Hope you enjoy! Series: TNG Code: P/C Rating: [PG-13] Length: 14 pages Standard Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, but I own this story. I�m not making any money off of it, so don�t sue me. He sat in his darkened quarters by himself. The silence that surrounded him was almost overwhelming. The tragic events of that day played over and over in his mind. The guilt, sorrow and anger that filled him seemed to intensify with each passing moment. If only he could turn back the clock and somehow find a way to change things. He leaned over in his chair and put his face in his hands. Why did he do it? If only he could wake up to find that it had all been a nasty nightmare. He was tired. One would think that after so many years in command, things would get easier to deal with. But that was far from the truth. In fact, as he tried to recall all who had died while under his command, the burden of the big chair seemed a little too heavy to carry. He should have saved himself� Data had come a long way since his arrival on the Enterprise so many years before. He had grown as a person and had become more human with each passing day. Whenever they were in trouble, he would almost always be the one to come up with a solution. He remembered the shock he felt when Data put that transport device on him. At that very moment, he knew. There was no miracle solution this time around. Data had sacrificed himself so that others could live. As the torment in his soul almost engulfed him, he was brought back to reality by the sound of the chime. He didn�t want to see anyone. A captain shouldn�t be seen like this, he thought. After a few seconds passed without him saying anything, the chime sounded again. It�s her� As he leaned back in his chair, he tried to regain composure, �Come.� The doors slid open and she walked in. As darkness surrounded her, she tried to see where he was, �Computer, increase lighting by ten percent.� When the dim lights came on, she saw what she expected to see. He no longer looked like the strong captain she knew, but a broken man. Her heart ached as she saw him like this, �Jean-Luc�� �Hello Beverly.� His voice was barely above a whisper. She sighed and slowly walked toward his desk. Once there, she sat at the edge of it as she so often did, �How are you feeling?� �I�m feeling as can be expected.� Then, for the first time since she came in, he gazed into her eyes. The sorrow that shone through them tore at his heart, �How about you?� Beverly shook her head, �I just can�t believe that he�s truly gone�� At that point, the barriers that she had put up crumbled. She covered her face in her hands and quietly started sobbing. He got up from his chair and encircled his arms around her. As he held her tight, a single tear fell on his cheek. At that moment, he was truly grateful to have this wonderful woman in his life. She was the only person with which he was able to open his heart to. She knew his vulnerabilities and in turn, he knew hers. In the line of work they shared, it was not something they could allow themselves to show. When they were alone however, each could lower the walls that hid most of their fears and sorrows. When her sobs finally subsided, he felt her go slightly limp as she relaxed in his embrace. He pulled back a bit and looked into her eyes as he wiped the tears from her face. �I�m so sorry Jean-Luc.� Beverly shook her head in embarrassment, �I came over to see if you needed a shoulder to cry on, but managed to wind up crying on yours instead.� �Don�t be sorry Beverly. I�m glad you came. Initially, I thought I wanted to be alone, but the truth is your being here means a lot to me.� �Thanks.� She said as she brought her hand up to cover his. For the next few moments, the pair simply looked at one another. Each trying to gather strength from the other. Beverly then slowly exhaled, �I know how difficult this must be for you Jean-Luc� Just as it is for me I guess.� She then put a comforting hand on his shoulder, �I just want you to know that I�m always there when you need me.� He lowered his gaze, �I�m very grateful for that Beverly.� Then, he slowly pulled himself away from her and headed for the large window. As he gazed at the stars, he felt her come up behind him. She took his hand in hers, �You want to talk about it?� He put his other hand against the cool surface of the glass and bowed his head, �During those last few seconds, we just looked at each other knowing that time was up. I had resigned myself to the fact that it was the end. But then, he took out the transport device and put in on me. I barely had time to look at him before he activated it� He should have left me there�� Beverly pulled on his hand so he could face her, �Jean-Luc listen to me.� her voice was tender yet firm, �Data would not have wanted you to talk this way. He wanted you to live and chose to do what he did. In order to honor his memory, we have to accept the situation and be grateful that so many lives were saved.� �I know that Beverly. But he shouldn�t have done it. Dammit, it was not his time!� He clenched his fists and retreated from the window. She fought the urge to cry again, �Jean-Luc� You need to accept it.� �I don�t want to accept it Beverly. I should have been the one to die, not him.� �Oh and you think that would have been better?� She spat back. As he turned to look at her once more, the hurt he saw in her eyes almost overwhelmed him. He knew he shouldn�t have said what he did, but he just hadn�t been able to help it. The pain of losing yet another of his good friends was just too much to bear. Beverly tried to swallow the lump she now felt in her throat, �Data was my friend too and I�m completely heart broken that he�s gone. But losing you wouldn�t have been any easier.� Tears once again filled her deep blue eyes, �Aside from Wesley, you�re all I have left Jean-Luc� I couldn�t bear to lose you.� �I� I�m sorry Beverly.� He closed his eyes, �I never should have said that. Please forgive me�� Beverly closed the small gap between them and leaned her forehead against his, �I know that you are carrying a significant amount of guilt right now. However, I believe that everything happens for a reason. You have so much to live for Jean-Luc�� Do I? Jean-Luc exhaled slowly and spoke once more, �During those few moments when I thought I was going to die, I saw my whole life flash before my eyes Beverly. And when I think back, it gave me much perspective on what�s really important.� A few seconds of silence passed between them as he carefully pondered his next words. As she realized his hesitation, Beverly asked in a voice as low as a whisper, �And what would that be Jean-Luc?� He slightly pulled back and took both of her hands in his, �Beverly� I have so many things that�� Suddenly, a voice sounded over the intercom, �Bridge to captain Picard.� Annoyance and disappointment filled his eyes as he pulled back and tapped his communicator, �Picard here.� �Captain, admiral Peterson is requesting to speak with you on a private channel.� �I�ll take it in here. Picard out.� Jean-Luc gave Beverly an apologetic look, �I�m so sorry�� Beverly shook her head slightly and put her hand up, �It�s alright Jean-Luc. I�ll see you tomorrow.� �Good night Beverly.� She looked back over her shoulder and gave him a meaningful look, �Good night Jean-Luc.� As she left his quarters, he couldn�t help but feel sad. Well duty calls again I guess� When the doors hissed shut behind her, only the silence and emptiness of the corridor greeted her. She couldn�t help but worry about her best friend. Things would never be the same again. Data was gone, Will and Deanna would be leaving for the Titan as soon the Enterprise arrived at the repair dock orbiting Earth and now she herself was supposed to leave to go take the position as head of Starfleet medical. Everything was changing so fast. Aside from Wesley, the crew here had been her family. Well at least I �have� Wesley� Who did Jean-Luc have? He had lost his brother and nephew, and his Starfleet family was drifting further and further apart. As she leaned against the wall next to his door, she silently prayed that he would find peace within himself. She then turned and headed toward her quarters knowing fully well that the sleep she desperately needed would elude her once more. * * * * There were a lot of odds and ends to tie in sickbay before her scheduled departure. She was so focused on the many reports that needed to be filled that she didn�t notice that she had a visitor. Jean-Luc had been about to knock on the side of the door�s threshold when he realized it was probably the last time he would get to see her in this office. Whenever he wandered about his ship, he would almost always end up here. Sometimes, he would wait a few moments before announcing his presence to her. How he loved the way she looked when she was working. Her chair swiveled to one side, she would sometimes play with her hair as she went over the reports. It was exactly what she was doing at that very moment too. He sighed and looked down momentarily before gently knocking, �Hello.� Surprised, she swiveled her chair back so it would face the door. Upon seeing him, her face lit up immediately, �Hello Jean-Luc.� she gestured to the chair in front of her desk, �Please come in. Have a seat.� He smiled warmly at her, �Thank you.� he took a few steps and sat down. She was glad to see that he looked a lot better than he did the other night, �So what brings you all the way down here?� �I was just taking a stroll and I thought I�d drop by to see how things were coming along.� She chuckled softly, �I�d forgotten how much work was involved in changing assignments.� He tried to hide the sadness he felt as she mentioned her departure. She had been the closest person to him for many years now. He couldn�t imagine what it would be like not having her around. It was something that he had perhaps come to take for granted. When Beverly saw the faraway look in his eyes, she couldn�t help but wonder what was going through his mind. He was saddened that was sure, but somehow she sensed something stirring deep within him. That night when each of them had broken down, he had seemed on the verge of revealing something very important to her. He was not a man who expressed his most personal thoughts easily and she wondered if now she would ever know what he had been about to say. She only had a few days left onboard and the decision to leave seemed more and more difficult. Not that it had ever been easy. Jean-Luc cleared his throat, �Actually, the real reason I came by was to let you know that I just spoke to admiral Nacheyev. All the preparations for Data�s memorial service have been finalized. The ceremony will be held in two days.� Beverly nodded with sadness, �I see. I�m glad you came by in person to let me know.� Jean-Luc smiled sadly at her, �I didn�t feel that letting you know via ships correspondence would have been appropriate.� �Thank you Jean-Luc.� They let the moment hang between them for a few seconds. Each finding support in the others gaze. It seemed as though they had seen so many tragedies during their careers. The shock of losing Data, however, was proving to be something quite difficult to process. They�d always assumed that he would still be there long after they�d both gone from this life. It was quite unnerving. Jean-Luc cleared his throat, �So what time do you go off duty?� �At sixteen hundred hours. What about you?� �I finish at eighteen hundred hours.� he leaned forward in his chair, �Would you like to have dinner with me tonight?� She smiled warmly at him, �I�d love to. Well since I go off duty before you do, why don�t we meet in my quarters?� �That sounds like a plan. How does eighteen thirty sound?� he got up from his chair. �Sounds great.� He gestured toward the many reports still on her desk, �Well, I guess I�ll leave you to your work.� �See you tonight.� �See you tonight.� he echoed as he left. * * * * �Computer, play musical program Crusher 4.� Beverly smiled as one of her favorite songs started playing. It was a very romantic tune, with its slow jazzy rhythm. With some matches in hand, she leaned over the table and lit the candles. Satisfied with the dinner setting, she crossed her quarters to her bedroom. She looked at herself in the mirror once more, �What�s going on with you Beverly?� She and the captain had had dinner dates many times before. Though for some reason, it didn�t feel the same tonight. She couldn�t put her finger on it, but she was definitely jittery. She shook her head, �Come on now, it�s not as if anything�s going to happen, right?� Feeling slightly foolish for talking to herself, she retreated from the mirror and headed toward the living room again. * * * * The turbolift doors opened and he stepped out carrying a bottle of wine from his family�s vineyard. He knew full well that this would be one of the last quiet evenings spent with Beverly before she left. He neared her door and pressed the chime. A few seconds passed and the doors hissed open. Beverly was standing there looking as beautiful as ever with the most loving smile on her face, �Hello Jean-Luc.� she gestured inside, �Please come in.� He walked in the dimly lit room and saw the wonderful dinner setting Beverly had arranged. The music and candlelight made the room look so inviting. �Chateau Picard.� Impressed, she raised her eyebrows, took the bottle from him and went to put it in the ice bucket. �I have a few stashed away for special occasions.� She smiled at him and gestured toward the table, �Would you like to sit down?� �Yes, I would thank you.� he crossed the room and took his place at the dinner table. As Beverly went about bringing their food, he couldn�t keep his eyes off of her. She wore a black off the shoulder sweater, a three-quarter length skirt and delicate sandals. He really loved the way her reddish hair cascaded down her shoulders and shone in the candlelight. She sat down as well and they started their dinner in amiable silence. Just being there together, even when they had nothing to say was something they enjoyed. �This is absolutely delicious Beverly.� �Thank you. However, that is thanks to the replicator.� she smiled impishly at him. Jean-Luc couldn�t help but laugh softly for he knew that her cooking skills weren�t all that impressive. Jean-Luc then took the bottle from the ice bucket and opened it. He slowly poured the wine and lifted his glass, �To your new life at Starfleet medical.� She lifted her glass but the look in her eyes seemed distant. �Beverly?� he leaned forward, �Is something wrong?� She smiled sadly, �It�s just� I�m having such mixed feelings about the whole thing. The past few days have been pretty traumatic for me.� �I know what you mean� I feel as thought I�m on an emotional roller coaster as well.� he seemed to hesitate for a moment, seeming unsure of how to proceed, �I�ve even found myself rethinking a lot of things.� �Such as?� Beverly gazed deeply into his eyes. �Oh, I don�t know� all of my life choices perhaps.� She could see the look of regret in his eyes. At that moment, she was sure it mirrored her own. Life was passing them by and they had yet to figure what they were supposed to do with the rest of it. After a brief silence, the captain was the first to speak, �I�m really going to miss you Beverly.� She lowered her gaze, �I�m going to miss you too Jean-Luc.� More than you could ever imagine� Jean-Luc eyed her with guarded intensity for a moment then spoke, �Would you care to dance.� Somewhat taken aback, Beverly looked up from her glass and said, �You� want to dance?� Surprise and disbelief filled her voice. Jean-Luc smiled at her, �Very much so.� Before she had a chance to say any more, he got up and took her hand in his. Beverly�s heart started beating faster as he led her to the center of the room. He gently encircled her waist and brought up her hand to his chest. She leaned close and pressed her cheek against his. She loved being this close to him. It made her feel so secure. She then wondered if he still had any romantic feelings for her. She knew that there had always been a strong attraction between them right from the start. It had so often been brushed aside however that the extent of their feelings toward one another was blurred beyond recognition. The little dance of should we or shouldn�t we had always landed on the latter and she was now convinced that things would never change between them. Jean-Luc took in the scent of her. He had always loved her perfume. While slowly losing himself in it, he started wondering. What had become of his life? Sure he could not ask for more when it came to his career. But aside from his professional life, his personal one was truly lacking. A few years ago, he would never have questioned his life choices. Since the death of his brother and nephew however, things had slowly started to change within him. And now with the loss of Data and seeing how his closest comrades were moving on to other things, it seemed that his regrets were growing. The bulk of the regrets in his life revolved around the woman he was now holding in his arms. How could he love a woman so much for so long and not be with her? Fate had always been cruel to them and he often found himself wondering why. Of course there was no answer to that question. The obstacles of the past may have been too much for them conquer at that time, but what about the present? The slow music played and they gently swayed to the rhythm. A few minutes had passed when Jean-Luc spoke, �Why do we keep doing this to ourselves?� It was truly the last thing she expected Jean-Luc to say. So taken aback was she that she held her breath for a moment. She slightly pulled back and gazed in his eyes. The sadness and love that shone through them tore at her heart. Tears started to fill her blue eyes and she brought up her arms to encircle his neck, �I don�t know.� she answered in a voice chocked with emotion. They both closed their eyes and leaned their foreheads against the others. Not yet able to look at him, Beverly slowly exhaled and added, �Perhaps we�re just fools.� Jean-Luc couldn�t help but to chuckle softly at her comment, �Too afraid to get hurt, and too afraid to try a hand at being happy.� Beverly smiled sadly, �That doesn�t make much sense does it?� �No it doesn�t.� he paused, carefully pondering his next words, �But then again, nothing makes much sense when it comes to being in love.� Beverly finally lifted her gaze to his, �You�re still in love with me?� the tears that filled her eyes fell on her cheeks. He gently wiped the tears from her face, �I am� very much so actually. I never stopped loving you Beverly. No matter what happened in our relationship, my feelings for you have always grown stronger.� With the simplest words, he was able to take her breath away. He was opening his soul to her and in turn was showing her a vulnerability that she had seldom seen in him before, �So why didn�t you come after me that night after Kespryt?� For some reason, Jean-Luc found he was unprepared for that question. He wasn�t sure why though, it was however a pivotal moment in their relationship. One that could have changed the course of their lives forever. He had gone over that moment over and over in his mind on many lonely nights, �I guess� I didn�t want to push you away.� he took in a deep breath, �I figured I�d rather have you in my life as a friend than not have you in my life at all. Why did you decide to leave that night?� Beverly shook her head, �I guess to explain that, I have to go back to a long time ago.� she gently pulled away from him and headed toward the viewport. She wiped another tear from her face and crossed her arms as if trying to warm herself, �Did you know that I fell in love with you the first day we met?� �No� I didn�t.� Jean-Luc had always known that there had been an attraction between them, but never before had he imagined that her feelings ran as deep as they did so early on. �You were so handsome and charming, the perfect gentlemen. Even though we had just met, the way you spoke to me made me feel as though I had known you my whole life. And as you know, it usually takes me quite a while to become comfortable with someone I�ve just met. At first, I dismissed my feelings as just harmless infatuation as you would say. However, it wasn�t long before I realized that my feelings were much deeper than what I had led myself to believe. Do you remember that night in San Francisco when we invited you to dinner and Jack had been suddenly called away to Starfleet headquarters?� �Uh-huh.� How could he forget that night? It was one of the rare moments spent alone with her during that time. After dinner, they had retired to the couch. She sat at the other end of it looking ever so relaxed with her feet curled up under her. All night he had tried as hard as he could not to show his feelings toward her. It had not been an easy task. The conversations they had with one another were so enthralling and the way she smiled and laughed amidst their many glasses of wine made her irresistible to him. When he finally left on that warm night in May, the guilt he felt for wanting his best friend�s wife so desperately ate him up inside. She wasn�t his to love and yet� he could not help himself. When he got back to his temporary apartment, he sat by the window and looked out� wondering. What was she doing, what was she thinking at that very moment? In those lonely early morning hours he made a vow to himself. He would never again allow himself to spend so much time with her alone for fear of losing control. He could never live with himself if he did. Jack was his best friend and he could not betray him like that. Jean-Luc was suddenly pulled from his memories of the past as Beverly spoke again. �I was having such a good time with you that night. You captivated me with your charm and your stories. And as I listened to your every word, I realized I was losing myself in you. There was just something in your eyes that made me think that you were perhaps attracted to me as well. I even found myself wondering what being in your arms would be like �� her back still turned to him, she lowered her head and went on, �And then, a thought quickly swept over in my mind. What if I had met you before I had met Jack?� she turned to face him once more. The guilt in her eyes was overwhelming, �After you left that night, I felt so guilty. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried for hours� I thought to myself, what kind of a wife am I?� His heart broke as he gazed in her eyes. He couldn�t help but feel responsible for the pain she went through, �Beverly, listen to me. You were a wonderful wife. I know that you would never have done anything to hurt Jack. In fact� he often said that he thought he was the luckiest man in the world to have such a wonderful woman by his side. And he was.� �I remember that you and Jack left for what would be his last tour just a few days after. I did a lot of soul searching during the following months. I tried so hard to push away the feelings I had for you.� she paused, unsure of what to reveal next, �The next time I saw you, was when you brought his body home after the accident. I wasn�t prepared to see you looking so� broken. Everything about you seemed like an echo of the man I knew. The guilt in your eyes was very hard to bare.� she took the few steps necessary to close the gap between them and took both of his hands in hers, �For some reason, when you left after the funeral, I knew that I wouldn�t see you again for a very long time� Jean-Luc, I never blamed you for his death. I need you to believe that.� The lump he now felt in his throat made it hard for him to speak, �I do� now anyway. But for a very long time, I couldn�t find the strength to face you for fear of the pain that I would see. If you hadn�t asked to be posted to the Enterprise, I don�t even know if I would ever have been able to summon the strength to do so.� �After so many years apart, I was really glad to see you again Jean-Luc. As we started spending more and more time together, I realized that my feelings hadn�t gone away at all and that kind of scared me. There was so much emotional baggage between the two of us that I felt taking the next step would only ruin our friendship. I somewhat lost you before and I didn�t want to lose you again� I guess that�s why I left that night�� her voice faltered. Jean-Luc took a few steps forward and gently made her face him. He gazed at her intently and said, �You would never lose me Beverly. Our friendship is too strong for that.� He then pulled her to him and held her tightly. �As I stood outside your door that night, I secretly hoped that you would come after me. I�m not sure what would have happened if you had but...anyhow I was really disappointed in myself for being so afraid.� she felt his hand under her chin as he slowly lifted her face so their eyes would meet once more. �What about now? Are you still� afraid of us?� �Not as much, no.� she was so surprised by the courage she suddenly felt, �Oh Jean-Luc... I love you so much.� The words just spilled out. She couldn�t hide it anymore. �I love you too Beverly. I always will.� They held each other tightly for what seemed like an eternity. The emotions of the moment overwhelmed them as they each shed some tears. It was as if a huge weight which had been there for decades suddenly lifted. It was something that they were both unaccustomed to. For the first time in their lives, they felt free to love each other openly. Jean-Luc brushed a strand of hair from her face aside and leaned ever so close. Before their lips met, they paused momentarily and gazed at one another with an intensity that took them both by surprise. When finally their lips did meet, each closed their eyes and reveled in the moment. Kissing her this intimately was so amazing that Jean-Luc almost felt as though he should pinch himself to make sure he wasn�t dreaming. He gently stroked her hair with one hand as the other pulled her closer still. �Jean-Luc�� she broke the kiss abruptly and looked at him, her eyes pleading, �If you ask me to, I will.� He wasn�t sure why, but for some reason he knew she was referring to her upcoming departure, he looked down and frowned sadly, �Don�t go Beverly. Please� stay here with me.� The tears that fell freely on her cheeks were ones of utmost happiness, �I�m not going to leave you Jean-Luc� Not now, not ever.� she kissed him deeply once more. The fears and doubts that had filled them were gone. In their place were relief, contentment and hope for the future. The intensity and electricity between them grew rapidly. Neither had felt passion and desire quite like that before. Beverly pulled away just enough to look in his beautiful hazel eyes. Seeming out of breath, she said, �Make love to me.� She barely had the chance to finish her sentence as Jean-Luc pulled her into another passionate kiss. She responded by undoing the buttons of his shirt which promptly fell to the floor. It was then his turn to pull away slightly. She gasped as he lifted her off the ground with ease and carried her to the bedroom. As he gently laid her down, he looked lovingly in her eyes. The longing in them was intense to say the least, �I can�t believe this is really happening.� He tenderly kissed the side of her neck as she tilted her head slightly. �Oh Jean-Luc�� * * * * The hours of the night flew by as each explored the feelings they had for the other. Neither had been prepared for the desire they felt toward the other. It was only when he awoke in the early hours of the morning with her snuggled up against him that he fully realized that there would be no more barriers between them. He deeply loved this woman and promised himself that he would spend the rest of his life making her happy. When he leaned over and gently kissed her bare shoulder, he felt her stir. She inhaled deeply and stretched. The first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was his smiling face, �Good morning Jean-Luc.� �Good morning.� he said while gently stroking her hair. �Last night was� amazing.� �I thought so too.� making love to her had surpassed the most intense fantasies he had ever had about her, �Why did we wait for so long?� She shook her head, �I don�t know.� �So you�re certain you want to stay?� he took her hand in his and kissed it tenderly. She propped herself up with her elbow and looked directly in his eyes, �I�ve never been so sure of anything in my life.� With that, he pulled her to him and kissed her fully. The future seemed promising. They would continue to serve together on their beloved Enterprise. What adventures lay ahead? In that moment, Picard felt very lucky for he knew he would get to share those adventures with the woman he loved. The End I love feedback! BACK TO LIBRARY |