Do You Know
By: Jessica Austin

Another Day Today The Beginning
This is the beginning. The beginning of a story. Not many people will believe it, but that's what a story is for I guess. To not be believed.

Day 1: I saw him again, that strange man who looks sort of like Han Solo or maybe even that guy from that one movie. Dark hair. The darkest black eyes. He follows me sometimes. But everything is so strange here, so different. The people fly. And I don't mean float, they fly. With wings. Full blown wings. I don't think I'll ever get used to it.

Day 3: A Starting Point
I took a step into the town today. I was so scared I almost peed my pants. A woman spoke to me. She was gesturing to my hair and smiling, but hell if I knew what she meant. The language is so incomprehensible, so fluid and mushed together. I can't pick out words. I can barely pick out sounds. Getting back to the scary part.
I somehow got caught in the current of people and was pulled into the center of the town on market day. The winged people stared and they pointed. My heart must have exploded and I haven't noticed yet, but, somehow I found my way out. Now that I think about it. The place was amazing. It was beautiful. There were so many colors and smells and sounds. Laughter and berries and a dozen shades of indigo. I just can't put it into words. The world was spinning, twirling out of control. Booths three stories tall and higher. Bells and music and singing enfolding the place within an energy so powerful . . . I'm rambling now. And I must save pages.
One more thing before I go steal some food; he was there. I know he followed me.

Day: 5
I can't believe I've been here for a week. Seven days ago I found this book, empty on the ground. I knew there was a reason I always kept a pen in my pocket. It is my writer's soul after all.
Weird Thing #1:
When I found this book, it had three words in it. Words that I know, but I can't understand. Tierenma Maenma Kaien. I feel them, echoing in my mind. In my dreams.
Weird Thing #2:
I say I steal food, but really, it's always there. The same spot everyday. It's like I'm some wild animal who is slowly being tamed. If he only knew how scared I was.
Weird Thing #3:
I know it's him. That man. He feeds me. He follows me. He must have written the words. Maybe he even . . . okay, no, that's another level of weirdness I'm not ready to deal with.
Weird Thing #4:
On describing how I got here: I HAVE NO IDEA. Really, you'd think I would. I should have some hint as to how it happened. But, I don't remember. One day I woke up and I was here. Well, seven days ago. A week. But, I just can't remember anymore. I can't remember things. Like my old house, or my old friends, all those little things have started to fade. And that is the scariest thing of all.

Day 7 Today . . . I thought I was dead. I should have . . . but something happened.

I was walking around, trying to make sense of something, trying to remember. I didn't notice the sound at first, because it was so quiet. Then, the thing pounced. It was a monster. Blood red eyes, fangs, and dark green fur. I swear it was some kind of werewolf-lizard. Scales covered its hands, but fur on its head. The thing was huge, as big as . . . a gorilla. My arm is broken, and one of my ribs. It was so powerful on top of me, I couldn't breathe. I can't sleep. Every noise brings back the nightmare.

He saved me, an obvious end to my "adventure" in the forest. But not before something happened. Another thing to add to the "weird" list. I did it, but I don't know how. I . . . I . . . made it explode.

Day 9
Today was uneventful, but yesterday. Wow.

After he saved me (from the monster I exploded [that's still unexplained]), he took me to a cottage/house/tower thing. I've begun to wonder now, because I've lived here for a whole day, if it isn't something supernatural. I open one door and it leads to a room I've never seen before. I close it and open it again and there is a different room. I asked him about it, but, he won't tell.

That's right. He speaks English. It surprised me so much I didn't say anything to him yesterday. It was amazing. He just stood there and said "Do not be worried, I am here." As if that was supposed to be comforting. He has an accent. Sort of like Russian/French. Strange. I must have blacked out from the pain, because I don't remember just how I got here. But, he did something to me, some kind of chant or something like magic and right now I don't much care about anything. I feel very nice. And calm. I can't think to clearly.

Anyway, he won't tell me his name.
I thought that was strange. Oh well.

Day 11 I feel better today, less "out-of-it." I can certainly think more clearly.

#1: Kri Opien
The Shelter, that's what this house/tower thing is called. I asked and he actually said the name, so I memorized it and wrote it down. I've been trying to figure it out, but. . . I still can't seem to work the doors. I opened the door that leads from my room, and there was a sort of bathroom, which was too coincidental to be coincidence. So, I opened it later when I was hungry and there was food. It has something to do with what I want, or need. I'll figure it out eventually.

Other than thinking, I did nothing. I looked out the window and thought about this situation. I'm scared because this place makes so much sense, when it shouldn't. And I keep trying to put myself back home, in my memories and such. But . . . I just can't do it. I feel like I'm losing myself.

Who am I?
I asked him that.
He told me.
And that was . . . well, it wasn't what I expected to hear.

Day 14
Two weeks. It's been two weeks to the day. And it really doesn't feel like it.

I've been busy thinking. My name. My memory-dreams. Malqomb's damn annoying personality. His name isn't exactly M-A-L-Q-O-M-B, but that's as close as I can come of the pronunciation.
My name, on the other hand is . . . even more confusing. It has three parts. Cassi Oan Kaiey. So, it's like Cassioankaiey. Yes, it's long. But, it fits. Don't ask me how, but, after he called me it I had a dream.

! The Dream
I'm sitting on a wooden swing, and the wind blows me back and forth. I see red everywhere, not fire, but like the entire world is covered in a red film. I feel younger, although I can't see myself. I must be little, I think. Then this tall man comes to me, calling me Cassioankaiey. He's my father. Somehow I know that, and I love him, but I'm taken away from him. That's when the world goes back to normal and I wake up.

I don't want to tell Malqomb, because he'll just shrug or furrow his eyebrows. He won't explain it. But, I'll make him, soon enough.

Day 16
My plan sort of worked. Well, I got outside, but . . . then it backfired.

Alright, backing up. Yesterday I tried to escape because this place was driving me insane! And that man is not helping. So I tried to kill him. I didn't really try that hard, I just threatened him.

I woke up early, actually I didn't even sleep. Then I made the door open to an armory of sorts. I didn't know if it would work, because I'd never really tried to will it to open on any specific thing, but it did. And I got a knife. Then I went back to my room to wait, except that HE was there. I wanted to kill him, but I held back and just threatened. So he let me leave, he even opened the door for me to the outside.

I ran so fast I couldn't even hear my own breath. But then I tripped over some damn tree and . . . it's hard to write. I recognized it, the landscape. I felt something I've never felt before. Home.

But this isn't my home, this is some other world that I don't belong in! I want to leave. I want to run away. But wherever I go, wherever I try to run to, it's all the same. It's all familiar.

After he came and found me, I apologized. He let me sit in the dark all day, but he watched me. I HATE him, but I need to know what has happened to me.

I think he'll tell me now.

Day 18
Ah confusion. The word that best describes my life. Malqomb explained some things to me. Of course, none of them should be true, and of course, all of them are.

#1 How I got here.
"You have always existed," he told me.
And of course I asked what the hell that was supposed to mean. Answer: "You belong here, and you always have." Not really an answer if you ask me. What I got out of THAT conversation: I actually DO know this place, this world. Somehow I have always lived here but haven't known it (impossible?). It does explain why I recognize everything.
Apparently he summoned me here. Those words (Tierenma Maenma Kaien) are dangerous, because Malqomb won't speak them. He had to write them down to get me here (in this very book that I own now). I knew I didn't like them.

#2 My name that isn't my name.
Cassioankaiey is obviously NOT my name, but Malqomb says that I should know it because it is my true name. A name someone gave me.

Here's the thing. He won't tell me WHO gave me that name and he won't tell me WHY he summoned me.
My hand is tired, more later.
(I haven't told him about my recognition. And, unless he beats it out of me. I don't plan to tell.)

Day 20
Continuing with some explanations.

#3 The World
This world is called Trea (pronounced tree-ah according to Malqomb). And this world and . . . well, Earth, I guess, live on parallel dimensions, or universes or something. The people that live here are fairies. Yes, that sounds EXTREMELY strange, that's because it is. But they all have wings like you would think a fairy would. Except these fairies are human sized. Malqomb said that we aren't on the continent where most of the fairies live, though. That's across the ocean. He showed me a map, and I sort of . . . it sort of makes sense.

#4 Malqomb
Ok, in general, I've found out these things about him. He's closer to 35 or maybe even 40 years old. He designed Kri Opien (the Shelter [tower I live in]) and he is extremely powerful with the magic stuff. I call it magic he calls it "power." Not a big difference.
He is incredibly handsome for an older guy. I could live with some ancient grandpa or something. I guess it's my luck I was summoned by a hottie.

Day 22 Today I went exploring and found such wonderfully confusing things. Basically I blanked out my mind before I opened the door leading out. I think what happened was my subconscious took over and pointed me in the right direction.
I found his study, like a giant library with different rooms. In one of the rooms there were these papers all over a desk, and maps and stuff. I stayed there for like 4 hours just going through all of the stuff. Alright . . . things I found:

#1 A drawing of this man that's in red ink.
#2 A letter IN ENGLISH (at least it had to be because I could read it.) It said something about the "time is to come" and asked why Malqomb hasn't approved of the notion from the "council."
#3 A map with a lot of lines in different colors, which, after VERY much time, I deciphered to be different countries boundaries and special lines for reasons as yet unknown.
#4 A picture of me as a baby. I know. I couldn't believe it either. It's an honest to GOD picture of me with the same man who was drawn in red ink. And . . . this is weird, the picture is reddish too. Just like that dream.

Uhg. This is too freaky.

Day 24
The comic relief arrived today.
His name is York, and he has pointy ears. That surprised me more than I'd likely admit. But it has now been explained to me during a conversation that went something like this.
"Like my ears, don't ya'?" He said.
-I stared- "Sure?"
"Women folk just go for the whole pointy eared devil trick, don't they, love?"
"I'm not sure." I was clearly uncomfortable.
"You are a woman. . . I'm sure of that!" And he stared at me. "It's no big jimmy, I'm just a Changeling 's all."
I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. To which he replied that Changelings are people who have a certain animal-instinct and sort of become that animal when angry (he used the word "aroused")
Then Malqomb came over and told him to leave me alone. He didn't heed the advice.

So, all day long I've had to deal with this guy hitting on me right and left. He seems to mean well, but. . . he's weird.
He just came in, oh . . .

Day 26
So, yeah . . . busy busy busy. I've been learning for a while now, and so yesterday they took me into town (comic relief and stoic guy that is). Not much happened, except for a few inexplicable stares and such from the townsfolk. And there was this one girl that Malqomb wouldn't talk to or even look at. York had to barter with her for our food. I think,(and I'm probably right) that M was in love with her.
Anyway, just normal stuff. You know, this adventuring life is pretty dull. I mean, everyday I eat and learn some boring thing and then I go somewhere and talk to someone and nothing really happens. Yet, everyday Malqomb seems more tense, nervous and stuff.

One strange thing, York let slip a little hint as to my importance here. "We can't let the other team steal you away, that would be bad tact." He said, chuckling. Then he looked at me in that way that says "oh, shit, shouldn't of said that."
So, apparently there is another team. This one is so boring. I wonder what the other guys are like?

Day 28
Hmm. Trying to put all this together in my brain is getting tougher. We were out in the world yesterday, Malqomb and York acting all secretive. So, of course, I followed them when they tried to leave me alone. They didn't walk far, but just to an alcove in an alley wall. I couldn't pick out Every word, but mostly. Here, I'll just write it.
"Why haven't you told her yet?!" The first thing I caught, because York isn't as good at whispering.
"She is showing the signs, and I cannot chance to make her leave us."
"You keep pushing her away and she WILL leave. Then they'll find her and she'll be gone for good."
"I do not have all these options!" First time I've heard Malqomb scared and angry.

I lost it there and picked the conversation back up at "That is a false statement." Malqomb this time, interestingly defensive.
"How false?"
"Well, it is completely,"
"The truth!" I wish I knew what they were talking about. "Has she shown any power yet?" York, very serious, which is weird.
"She made a krodnir explode." Yeah, I actually knew what Malqomb was talking about this time.
"My Great Sweet Goddess!" A strange exclamation from York. "She . . . she . . . we have to tell her."
Then they started whispering REALLY quietly, and then they walked back towards me, so I had to hide.
I don't know what is going on, but it has something to do with the "other team", the "red-man", and lil'ol'powerful me.

Day 30
A month. I've spent a month here.

Sometimes I write as if this is easy, as if being here has affected me only slightly. Well, that's all crap. I've lost myself. But, who is this person. Have you ever felt this? This disembodiment? It's like being air. Everyone who looks at you looks through you. Because, I'm not a person. I'm a power. I'm a pawn. I'm a glass wall. Or maybe . . . maybe I am nothing after all. I have so few real memories. So few real feelings.
What words can define a thing like me? Am I even the girl, the person I ever was? If that person didn't exist, or doesn't exist? Existentialism is heavy stuff.

Oh, sigh. Malqomb spoke with me today. Really, he talked to me. Still, it seemed forced. And he, so uncomfortable with words. I've tried so hard not to like him. He is a good man, a frightened guy just trying to save the world (metaphorically . . . . . . I think.)

Day 31
I feel better today. Yes, some things just go on and on. Time doesn't stop for me. No, or anyone for that matter.
I've been cooped up these past two days.
Y & M have been out.
Oh, but they . . . I mean Malqomb, HE told me. About me I mean. He said that I'm a child of this man. So, yeah, my "father's" name is Toresti Tunash. He IS the "red" guy. And I found out why. He is a demon. Or, sort of from the bad side of the world or something. Um, I can't really understand. OR, maybe I just don't want to.
I'm a bad guy?
I mean, you always read these fantasy books. Good versus evil and all that. Well, of course you always imagine yourself as the good, right? Well, I always did. So . . . why is it that when you somehow get caught up, inexplicably, in the epic battle . . . you find out that you really are evil. I am evil.
I mean, I'm supposed to be? I . . . I should be a bad guy?
Oh, tell me I can change my destiny. Right now, I feel like a prisoner of fate.

Day 36
Oh goodness. Time for an update, right? I know it has been a while, but . . . you can sympathize, can you not? Learning that you are the spawn of evil isn't exactly news that you take lightly.
But, I have to keep going. There is no other option.

*Deep Breath* Let's recap.
I found myself on this planet called Trea. People with wings inhabit the town that I now know to be called Oschion.
A man named Malqomb took me into the place I'm currently residing, called Kri Opien(The Shelter). After a while I got cabin fever and kind of threatened to kill him. Well, I stayed around, explored and found some weird stuff. That, yes, has been explained and I'll talk about most of it in the next coming weeks.
Next, York came. He's a changling and I've found out this interesting detail about him, he changes into a sort of chimpanzee-like-thing when he's mad. Yeah, weird. York and Malqomb have taught me the language and have shown me the city. I know my way around now.

Here's the part about me.
I used to live on Earth, but not really, I only thought I did. All the time my soul has stayed on Trea, because that's where I was born.
My father is the nastiest demon this side of Hell, supposedly. His name is Toresti Tunash, in the old language meaning Horrible Fire Starter.
My name is Cassioankaiey, in the old language it means One Who Will Change. I don't know exactly what that entails, but I'm sure it won't be boring.

Day 41
Why I haven't written: I've been busy. I know, of course. But, I've been learning so fast and so much . . . stuff.
Malqomb has been teaching me about The Power, my lovely little ability to make things(exceptionally monsters) explode? Yes, well, apparently I can do more than that.
Yes, much more.

York has been away on errands. The war is brewing in the East, so, soon, I think very soon we have to leave. Oh yes, the war. It's between good and evil, naturally. Between my . . . Tunash the Fire Starter and . . . Malqomb. I know, it surprised me too. Malqomb is the opposition. I can't explain WHAT the war is about at this moment (I'm still trying to understand).

ANYWAY! I can make things move, like telekinesis. And I can . . . make things catch on fire (genetic?). I can make something fall apart (part of the exploding thing). And, I can . . . hah, I can make people forget what they're doing. That one, to me is the scariest of all. The power I could control is . . . no, power isn't everything. I must remember.

Day 43
York is still away. To tell you the truth, I miss him. He treats me like a child, but it isn't bad. He protects me. I feel safe with him, kind of like a big brother.
Malqomb, on the other hand, is totally different. He acts like I'm some kind of annoyance. He is always so uncomfortable just talking to me. And he looks at me like . . . like . . . well, like I'm going to ruin his plans or something. Like I really am evil. Or . . . I don't know. Maybe he is just confused by me. I'm confused by me. I like him and all, as a person, but he is so frustrating. Just because he is like 35 or whatever doesn't mean he's so much better than me. I don't know. I find it hard to be nice to him.

I made him forget what he was doing today. It was funny, but scary. We were walking in town, going to visit some people. I think, people who have information about the war. And, we were standing in a shop. Malqomb looked down at me and said, "You can go mingle. I'm sure you would not be concerned with these dealings." COME ON?! Hello! I'm like the key to the whole freaking war! No, I simply don't care about it? Ahhhh. So, I looked right at him and became angry. I used that to stop his thought process. He stood there like an idiot, dazed and confused. Then, he noticed me and realized what had happened (he's pretty damn smart you know?). He stalked off.
I suppose I should say I'm sorry. But. . . it's really his fault after all. Isn't it?

Day 45
Why do these days feel so dead!? Why do they scream at me from beyond the grave! Pull me down to their level of depression!

Sorry, I've been crying. I feel like crap. Malqomb yelled at me. Well, no, he didn't yell. He just . . . he said some things. Things no other person has ever said to me. I'll try to write down the gist of it.

"I am appalled by your lack of respect. Not respect for me, I don't expect you to have any. But, respect for yourself. Do you understand the means of your life? Of course not, I wouldn't either. And, I don't, not even now. You are here for a reason. I know you think I brought you here to manipulate you. Yes, I did. But I brought you to my home, this place, to manipulate your mind, to make you see your potential, to make you love what I love. This world. I don't care who you are, who your father was, where you come from . I care about you. I care about your heart. I've seen too many people lost to the evils of an imperfect world, and yes, it is imperfect. So, I have to show you the beauty, the perfection within the imperfection. Please, do not give up on the goodness of your own soul for petty vengeance on a man who is only trying. I ask of you only one thing, that you live a good life. Whether this war lasts for 100 years or one day. Whether my . . . my home is lost, my people enslaved, brainwashed! Whether I live or I die! Please, choose to live a good life. Choose to see the perfection, and you can be happy. "

He had started to cry at "my home is lost." Now I understand what he is fighting for. What I must fight for, even if it means fighting myself. I can't write anymore, . . .

Day 47
Writing like this, religiously every other day helps me keep track of time.

York came back. We talked for a long time, about the importance of beauty in the world, and about Malqomb in general. York has known him for twenty years. Malqomb is like the big brother York never had, I guess. There are a lot of things I didn't know about Malqomb.
#1 He is an orphan. No family. He was raised by a group of men who were determined to learn the ways of the Power.
#2 He kidnapped me from my "father", Tunash, so as to save me from being a pawn. (ironic eh?)
That story is a long one, and it is not for me to tell. I'll just say this: that Malqomb was barely twenty when I was born, and he had to trek across the country far north to get me. York said it changed Malqomb.
#3 He was in love with this girl, the one in town, but he wouldn't stop work on the Shelter to marry her, so she left him.
#4 Apparently I, me, am Malqomb's mission in life. To teach me to make the right decisions.
And, York said something else, something a little strange. He said, "And if that man thinks he can deny his feelings for much longer, he's wrong." When I asked what he was talking about, York just looked at me. That, "you should get it." kind of look.
But. . . . what should I get? Does it have something to do with me?
I'm getting weird vibes here.

Day 49
We are leaving tomorrow morning. The adventure begins, I suppose. But, I'm starting to feel like this really isn't as glorious as one might imagine. It's more like, strenuous, arduous, tenuous, lots-of-other-words-that-describe-life-and-end-in-ous'es.

Malqomb Malqomb Malqomb. What an enigma. Now that I know more about him I can't stop thinking, wondering, looking at him. We are traveling on trains (strange? YES), for the first part of the journey. We are going north, if I haven't already said, because we have to catch a boat and go to the Eastern continent. Now, THAT part scares me. A LOT. I hate the ocean.
*sigh* I must sleep. Sleep, but hopefully not dream.

The Journey: Day 3
We haven't reached the train station yet, that should be tomorrow. But, besides that, I'll brief you on the past couple of days.

We traveled. That's right, nothing but traveling traveling and more traveling. We ride these animals that they call iken. The iken look sort of like giant deer/elk/moose/horses. Basically, four legs which are VERY long, short curly horns, jump very smoothly. I ride next to York, behind Malqomb, or sometimes in front. I haven't had the chance to write because we've been trying to make good time.

The reason we're going to the Eastern Continent is a little fuzzy, maybe that's because I don't want it to be true. Malqomb says that the "bad guys" are still unaware of my presence on Trea, so I have to run and hide basically, because if they find me, they'll kidnap me and use my power as like a battery to fuel my . . . Tunash (the evil guy) so that he can take control of the government, ie. the country.
See . . . confusing.
I wondered though, about that dream I had a while back. Weird thing is, I've had it twice in a row over the past couple of days. And each one is a little different. Like, he says different things, my father . . . I mean, Tunash. He tells me he's coming. He says he knows my destiny.
I don't like thinking about it.
The light is fading, I better stop writing.

The Journey: Day 6
Train Train Train Train Train.
Yes, I'm on the train. And let me tell you, so strange so strange.
These things are NOT trains, they are more like cars that float about thirty feet off of the ground using some kind of magical magnetic source. Malqomb had to fly both me and York up to get on. And they are tiny little boxes, not TINY tiny, but they're like individual, almost. They sit two people. Yes, TWO. And guess who I sat with . . . just guess.

Did you guess Malqomb? Because you would be right.
It happened like this: Malqomb flew York up first, and the rascal boarded a car, slammed the door closed, and zinged off into the distance. Yeah, they are pretty much isolated control too. So, Malqomb and I ended up HAVING to share one because the "train-man" came and said there had to be two to a seat.
Man oh man. We haven't even said a word to each other. He's sleeping right now, but I'm sure he'll wake up, if only to look at me and look at me and look at me.
Oh boy, this is going to be a LONG L O N G trip.

The Journey: Day 8
Still on the Train. I know. God this is boring. Well, it's not soo boring, Malqomb and I have talked about so many things. I told him about my parents, the ones who adopted me, and the little ones, the miracle babies they had last year.
He told me about his family, the "monks" who first taught him how to use his power. He really loves them.
We also talked about food, friends, religion. The religions this place has are either REALLY confusing or totally comprehensible. He is so eloquent and he seems really peaceful once he forgets that there is evil in the world that is coming after us. When he laughs it's so . . . adorable. Anyway, I'll stop now, you're probably bored.

The Journey: Day 10
So, I'm finally off of the train. Actually, it wasn't quite as bad as I would have thought to begin with. I feel so much closer to Malqomb. He's just so . . . so . . . OHHHH! I can't put these stupid feelings down in here, because if I did it would make them absolutely real and true. And I don't want to admit that I'm falling in love with him.

Did I just write that? I DID! I did just write that! Aye me! What am I going to do?! I don't want to fall in love. . . . but, maybe I do.
Hehee. I don't know. He's just so . . . okay, really this time I'll just stop.

We're staying the night in the forest for the next couple of days. Right now it's barely twilight, and the sun is losing its tentative grip on the earth. Night falls. But not before the two worlds collide within the shadows. I love this time. This Night-Daytime. The twilight.

The Journey: Day 12
Tonight is the second night in a row where I've been watched continuously like I'm some kind of wild animal who's about to bolt into the forest.
This is the second time in my life I've felt like this . . . and I HATE it.
Malqomb, for once, isn't the one responsible for this over zealous protection. There's another man here, they call him Captain . . but he doesn't seem to actually be IN the millitary, but Malqomb just calls him Peler-Ban. He's from the Eastern continent and talks with a very funny accent.
He and Malqomb argued all day today because no one was aloud to talk to me. Of course, I had no say in the matter.

That Peler-Ban is suspicious of me, I can feel it. He thinks I'm evil. And to him, I probably would be.
Right now I've got four guards and a tent surrounding me. He says it's for my own protection. I . . . I don't want to believe him, but deep down inside, I know He is close by. That thing, demon I'm supposed to call father. I can feel him almost on top of me when I sleep. When I dream . . . he's right there. He's right here . . . oh my . . . something's happening outside. Behind me. I can hear . . . no ....no

Journey - ill fated: Day 14
I have to be so quiet. My writing screams at me with its sound.

.....................

I'm . . . I'm so afraid to move. To breathe would seem like treachery.

Quickly, I must tell.
They took me. That night that seems like thousands of moons away, they came in so quietyly no one knew. No one suspected. But they came. And now . . . I don't know where I am, but it gets so much colder.
God they look . . .

I can hardly describe. I just can't. I'm shaking so badly, day and night. I see death in their eyes. His minions. Scales, sometimes. Or very black skin, almost slimy. Tall hulking things, or just slinky, sneaky black shadows. And they watch me. They watch me . . . as if they would eat me, or . . . worse.

I can not eat. I can not sleep. Every moment I just . . . I wish so hard that it wasn't real. That this isn't happening.

They whisper his name . . . The Fire Starter will come. They whisper . . . they whisper . . . he will come for me. And . . . he is almost here . . . they whisper . . . whisper

The Journey - ill-fated: Day 17
Today Another Day Another Day in the Cold Another Day In The Dark Another Day today a day I always feel as if someone is listening to me. Watching over my shoulder. I know no one is there, but I can feel it. I can feel the atmosphere of nothing that you could call good. I don't want to go insane. I want to . . . I just want to be saved.

I'm taking deep breaths. I'm keeping afloat. I'm trying to stay in the daylight. I'm trying to remember.
Yesterday I met the second in command. His name is Peok'Kreol. He at least looks vaugely human, but his skin shimmers a slight green when he turns in the sunlight.
He looks at me with dark slits for eyes. And I want to kill him. I want to kill them all. There will be death to those who try to use me. DEATH.

I apologize. I seem unable to control myself these days. I've already exploded three of my guards, and maybe, if I were stronger i could have escaped. But . . . I just don't know.

Where is he? Where is Malqomb? When will he save me again?

The Journey - ill fated: Day 19
Neotetrasfin. The cold landscape, the snow, the high mountains looming just over the horizon. This place is called Neotetrasfin. It feels dead, as if life used to run through the ground, an electric current pulsing all day long, but it has now been sucked away. The current is gone, the life is wasted. That's what it is, a wasteland.

I've been allowed to sit on my own this day, and I tried nothing to escape. So, here's to my hope that I will no longer be imprisoned, just guarded. I think that they tire of losing men to my nightmare explosions. Oh well, I will do it on purpose from now on.

I wished to the stars. I . . . I prayed for saving, for a savior. There are times that I believe in balance, for every good day there will be a not-so-good day, for every tear, a smile. But . . . then I think, I didn't have that many great days before this. Why do I deserve the nightmarish life I'm living? I can't understand.

I've never been a very hopeful person. I just lived from day to day because that was life. Life was normal. Now, everything is changed, and it isn't anything like a storybook. It isn't anything like I could imagine, or would want to.
Now I know, more than ever in my life, the meaning of the word Hope.

The Journey - ill fated: Day 21
This strange feeling . . . I just can't. I should hate him. I should, I know I should but . . .
Okay, taking a deep breath. And I'll tell you.

So, two days ago they stopped at a village. This village that I'm in right now, I mean we're still here. Peok'Kreol told me that he was waiting. Waiting for Him. I had nightmares last night, after a day of total insanity. First, Peok'Kreol told me I was to be washed. And of course, I said "Not by any of you!" He told me I was to be chained, stripped, and splashed with dirty water from a bucket. Pretty much his exact words, and . . . like any self-respecting teenage girl, I punched him in the face. Well, not really, I "threw" a pole into it, with my mind. This telekinesis thing is quite useful. Then he used his power. He made me go numb. I fell on the floor like a rag doll, but I could still see and breathe and think. Then he strode over to me, the cocky bastard, and he tore my shirt. Tore it off of me.

Obviously, that was not something I was going to stand for. So . . . well, I didn't kill him. Just, well . . . I just made him think that he was on fire, and when he fell to the floor screaming in agony, losing his control over me . . . I . . . well, I kicked him until they came and chained me up. Then I made three of them do the same thing and exploded one creature I was particularly disgusted by.
I have a feeling that they won't try anything like that again.
But . . . that isn't . . . that was strange. Until He arrived.

Just today I met my father. I met Toresti Tunash, The Fire Bringer, The Demon. He is my father. I can't help it.
And out of all those things which he is supposed to be, he doesn't seem evil. He doesn't seem any different than . . . than Malqomb, just fighting for a cause. However, what that cause is, is what frightens me.

He held me. I . . . I never knew what a father's touch was like. Until this day. Until I met mine.

The Journey - ill fated: Day 23
Yeah, this "father" issue is quite strange.
I can actually sort of see how I resemble him, which is weird. And he does this little half-smile thing, which I do. He is different looking though, dark red skin, black hair, and very tall. But . . . I just don't understand why everyone believes that he is so bad.
We left the little village, and then we rode farther up north. We are headed . . . somewhere. But when My father says the name, I don't understand it. But then, sometimes he and these other men/creatures will speak in a language . . . uhhh, a language that just grates on me.
You know what though? I don't feel awkward anymore, or even really scared. And his coming, my father's, really just made everything sort of make sense. It's like I was meant to meet him. I know I was. He has such interesting eyes, so deep. I don't usually look at him straight on, because, well, they say that he has lived for hundreds of years, and I can see all of them. He is so strong, so powerful. But he only makes me feel safe.

Still, I can't keep Malqomb's words out of my head. "I ask of you only one thing, to live a good life."
Or his tears.
Perfection behind the flaws.
What about flaws behind the perfection? My father though he is, I will never let him take my mind from me.

The Journey - ill fated: Day 25
And another day goes by.

My father and I rode next to each other yesterday and talked about things. He tried to explain himself to me with as little information as possible. He said that the governments of the world were heading down dreadful paths, leading their people into an age of greed, murder, and general BAD feeling.
Then he told me how he had plans for people, and he had dreams of a perfect world of love and good faith.
All I could think of as he spoke was Malqomb, and how that man would give anything to just live and let live. Perfection through imperfection. My father does not understand that concept.

I really didn't believe him when he said what good he would do the world when he had mine and his "powers" combined. It means he knows what I can do, but maybe not to what extent.
I finally responded, after his lovely lecture that lasted for at least two hours. I told him that he has no right to control the minds of others, and if he would only let the people alone maybe they would turn out all right in the end. Or, if they wouldn't . . . at least it would be by their own will.
He just smiled, as if what I said was only the wind in his ears. But, as he turned away I saw a glimmer of something behind those eyes. I'm not disappointing him, I think.

The Journey - History: Day 1
Today he began to tell me the story of The Fire Bringer, and what he really is. Since this journey seems to not be ending any time soon, and it only gets more and more tiresome, I've decided to tell my father's story from now on. It begins thus:

On the day of the Turning his parents died. In those days the life expectancy was so short no one was surprised when a man got sick, infected his family and they all turned up dead the next week. Surprise was when someone survived, and he was a surprise.
He grew up on the street, some say the son of thieves, the child of murderers. However, he was just an urchin. A poor boy out on his own, and he learned to survive that way.
Living as he did, he saw things. Not merely the everyday toil and trouble, but the reasoning and even the game of power became a tapestry to him. He hid himself beneath grime and rags just to learn the ways of the wealthy merchants. Somehow he rose from the dust to sit on the head of the city government in his two and twentieth year, and from there he began to twist the minds of all beneath him.

The Journey - History: Day 3
Revered men somehow fell beneath him, bending to his will. At first, he listened to the people. People he had watched every day of his life. They needed schools, roads, and jobs, and somehow he hardened himself to the task, accomplishing it all.
After the first few improvements all types of men and women adored him. They presented him with gifts and money. He finally had the power to buy what his heart wished.
He commissioned a grand castle to be built on the outskirts of town, and here he ran into some problems. He wanted stone when there was none. The city members tried to show him what was common sense to all the people, they lived at least four days from the mountains at the bottom of a Wooded valley. They could only build with wood, but he would not compromise.
He twisted his most loyal followers, made them murders. Soon, those who would not go to gather stone would find their bed deep within the earth, dead. He was convinced that he deserved only the best, and he convinced others.
The few that stood up to him, when the town began to crumble beneath the weight of such a tyrant, disappeared one after another. Families moved away if they could, and the rich fell to poor. Soon there was only one man left to rule, and no one to challenge his authority.

The Journey - History: Day 5

New roads and new ships brought in new people and new companies. Soon, questions arose of the nature of the village folk. Why they cowered in their doorways and never spoke his name. That man who acted more like a god, who lived in the castle like mansion five minutes outside of the city.
Of course, he loved the publicity, the chance to visit new cities and meet new people. He began to take more people underneath him, gaining more and more power. The cycle continued for three more years, and then he met her.
Tristiana, the daughter of the richest merchant in all the country. He knew he loved her before he met her. He loved just the taste of the power he had when he spoke her name.
However, she was already engaged to a minstrel's son. A man who had also climbed the social ladder, but without all the murder and mind control. Regular men were no challenge, though, and Tristiana spurned her supposed "true love" to be with the charming small towner who bought her anything she desired.
The wedding was set, and he was happier than he could have thought possible. He had even lost interest in controlling people, because he realized that after he had her there would be no man who could stand in his way.

The Journey - History: Day 7
The bells rang out over the city that fateful day. All the guests sat infront of the stone altar on the hilltop, waiting for the blushing bride to appear. The wind whipped up the green and white ribbons, and the sun shone down with a fierce glory.
He stood next to the priest. He smiled through his nervous feeling. He even gave his servants the day off. In all his life he could not remember a time when he had felt so ready to be so happy.
A man ran up the hill, stopped at the back of the gathering, and fell to his knees from fatigue. The priest looked at the bride-groom, a quick glance of question. Then the tired man stumbled to the altar and gasped out three words, "She is gone."
The groom stood in utter disbelief. She had loved him, she had said. They had shared many a passionate embrace. His life would be perfect with her by his side. And now she was gone . . . but it couldn't be true!
Then the messenger handed him a slip of paper. He read it, mumbled the words, even spoke aloud, and yet he could not believe.

How could I possibly love you? Don't you see it was a lie all along? I would never be your puppet, and you will never see me again. I have reclaimed the man I love, and you will not ruin my life.

The priest stared into his eyes and saw the fire before any other person. He felt the rage within his bones, and this quiet, godly man screamed. He screamed as the fire spread around his feet, engulfed the altar and all the people. The hilltop was ablaze when he ran into the forest. The agonizing screams were floating on the air as he tied the rope around the tree. The blackened shapes were barely visible when he looped it about his neck. The fire was his creation, and he had no choice but to end the life that could bring about such destruction.
The fall was not so far to break his neck, and so he hung there, gasping for breath. A shadow spread itself around his body, and he was then removed. From barely a foot off, he stared into his own dead eyes. Then from behind him the shadow whispered in his ear. "I will save you," it whispered. "I will give you eternal power. I will bring you to the world, and the world will submit to your rule."
He looked into this shadow and asked of its name.
"You know. I am you."
And still he did not understand.
"I am the agony. I am the death. I am the opposition to the light."
And a name rang through his memory. Amlerka. He agreed. He could only agree. And so the Shadow named him. The Fire Starter. Toresti Tunash.

The Journey - History: Day 9
The Dark God Amlerka endowed Toresti Tunash with all the power of destruction that might fit within a limited space. So this newly sanctified demon did his masters bidding. He destroyed. Grassy plains, forests, touwns, villages, all were the playground of The Fire Starter.
In his mind, he was no longer a man. He had been destroyed and brought back from the dead. He could not think of anything but what hate he felt for the cruel race of men. A people who would scorn lovers and a people who would kill. He was no longer one of them.
The years passed.
Toresti gained what can only be called a dreaded fame for his deeds. In some areas he even had followers, but all eventually died out. Suffering was his only comfort.
There came a day when Toresti no longer felt the need to "serve" his "master." He wanted to be an independent demon, one who follows NO rules, not even the skewed chaos of Amlerka. So, he traveled across the world, but destruction did not follow in his wake. He lost the taste of death and so left it behind. There really is no need to say that Amlerka was angry. The God was livid, but Toresti deserved a test of loyalty at least, to prove that he did not deserve punishment.
So, Toresti found himself faced with a small country village. The people awoke at dawn, worked away the days in their fields, and went to sleep after it was dark. He watched them for some time, trying to puzzle out what happiness these simple men could gain from such a mundane life. Yet, they were happy. He had forgotten what that was.
Then The God of Dark came to his demon and told him to abolish the loathsome town from the face of the earth, and Toresti refused. Not merely because he did not see a reason, but because he no longer wanted to be a puppet. He no longer wanted to be controlled.
Amlerka exacted his punishment then, and Toresti was placed inside the tallest mountain in the most remote place on all the globe, and Amlerka had no intention of letting him out.

The Journey - History: Day11
An entire generation came and went while Toresti sat in his mountain prison. He sat contemplating the price of his punishment. For a year, in its entirety, he pondered the nature of a man, and what good can come from the creature. Of course, he no longer felt human, so he was attracted to the conflict that could arise in such a thing. The infinity of contradiction, the battle between good and evil within a single soul. During his imprisionment he came to no conclusion.
However, in the outside world, The Dark God Amlerka had come to a conclusion. The God realized that not a single human soul cowered at the thought of a "Dark Shadow." All humans knew of The Fire Starter, though, and that was where Amlerka had gained fame, through a demon.
And so Amlerka came creeping back to his favorite destroyer, but not without a deal. Toresti could gain his freedom, but he had to follow Amlerka's wishes. What was Amlerka's one and only desire? A child. Not a sacrifice or another demon, but a powerful human child, and the only way to get one was for Toresti to couple with the most powerful female alive.
Toresti only had to think for a moment before he agreed, for he knew that the only way to answer his eternal question was to become again a part of that people.

Although so many years had gone by after that fateful wedding day, the wound burned as fresh as any midnight fire, and finding a wife proved to be a terribly difficult task. Toresti could only watch as powerful woman after powerful woman was born and then died. All were the same to his scornful eyes. He watched as the fairies fought one another, and as one fairy woman fought for her place among her people. He watched that girl, Ameral Reena, become the first queen of Reena. He watched her raise her five children, and watched as those children had children. Then one day he found her. The sky seemed brighter that day and the grass more green, on the day Liiruhyi was born.

The Journey - History: Day 13
The little girl named Liiruhyi was an absolute joy to her parents. In her first three years she showed signs of a greater power than any royal child before her, but also a greater calm of spirit.
Toresti watched the child grow into a young woman, and he noted all of the nuances of her personality. She loved the palace garden, where all the flowers barely matched her beauty, and the green matched her eyes. Toresti twisted his way into the palace to become a gardener, so he could watch Liiruhyi everyday. To him, she was the most beautiful flower in all the world.
On the day he started his work, he met her. She came out into the sunlight, her golden hair glittering and a serene smile playing on her lips. At first, she didn't notice the strange young man working a small patch of soil in her favorite corner of the garden, but it wasn't long before she became to interested to stay away. And when he looked into her eyes and she into his, something within him cracked and fell away. She had to blink away the strange image of black eyes fading away, replaced by brown and green. She looked back at him, and smiled.
He couldn't say a word or take a breath, for, within her eyes was a light he never thought to feel again, love. Somehow she had broken through the shadow and found the sliver of something that had been hidden for at least a thousand years. She had found his soul.
From that day on they became better and better friends. He found her to be intelligent and willful, even sometimes playful with words, and she found him to be strong and warm, open to ideas she had once only shared with her own mind. She felt safe in his presence, but he was also quite mysterious which intrigued her all the more. He felt alive when he looked into her eyes, and he forgot what sadness was when she smiled.
They sat in the garden on her eighteenth birthday, and he handed her a little present wrapped in a cloth. "For you," he smiled through his nervousness. She took it and opened it carefully. It was a liir flower, her namesake, beautifully and masterfully crafted from bits of colored cloth and carved wood. She was overcome with emotion, she couldn't even manage a thank you, but she had one thing to give in return, a kiss. That day, they promised to wed.

The Journey - History: Day 15
The wedding was small but beautiful. The bride and groom could not get through the ceremony without each shedding a tear of joy.
The couple then hid themselves away in a cabin in the forest for their first night together. Of course, the passion thereof was sweet between the lovers, and they lay together late into the night before slowly falling into a tender slumber.
Then the past rose up to claim its favor. Amlerka came to Toresti within the dreamscape, as horrible an apparition as ever. The Dark God called for his child, and was so obsessed with his desire that he did not notice the change in his demon. The black was gone from Toresti's eyes, but Amlerka went on with his nightmare.
Toresti awoke next to his love, and swept her face deep into his memory to never be forgotten. How could he love such a woman so much and never give her a child? How could he keep that joy from her when all he wanted was to see her smile? Yet, what choice did he have? To bring a child, her child and his, into the world only to be raised by the God of Death, the evil shadow, no, that was not a choice.
So, for many years of their marriage Toresti slipped his wife the right drugs to keep her from conceiving, and she never knew. In all truth she never thought of having a child until she was older, and the happiness she felt just being married was enough, for a while. Then her mother died, and her sister died, and her nephew died, and her niece died, all in ways that could not be helped. Liiruhyi had a hard time of being happy then, and she begged and begged the heaven's to send her a child, because she felt if she were barren she could not live and be a good wife.
Toresti heard those pleas when he lay in bed at night, and he cried for her. He knew how to stop her pain, but he also knew the consequences. But in the end, he knew that it had to happen. So he put away the medicines and in just a few short, sweet months, Liiruhyi brought the child into the world. That child was a girl, a little baby girl, and Toresti looked into the baby's green-brown eyes and lost his soul. This little thing, he knew would change everything, and so he named her. Cassioankaiey.

The Journey - History End- Day: 17
The baby grew and the parents were full of joy for those few short months. Toresti slept fitfully every night waiting for Amlerka to make his next nightmare a reality, but nothing came, for a while at least.
The baby girl's first birthday was only six months off when the Dark God came once again. The warning was simple: Take the baby and go to the Temple in the northern continent or lose everything dear to you. Toresti awoke, looked into his wife's sleeping face, heard the baby snore lightly and refused.
A month later it happened again, but this time there was no warning. It was a command: Take the child and go to the temple. Toresti held his little girl in his arms and refused once more.
Month after month the same thing, but each time the command was more forceful. Toresti began to have nightmares of the Hell he had once abided in. Yet, every time he awoke, he saw his love and the little child that held his soul. He could do nothing but refuse.

The night before the baby's first birthday Toresti asked his wife if she was happy. She looked deeply into his eyes and said, "There is no life for me but this, my love, and there are no words to describe how happy I am. Joy is limitless when I have you and our child by my side."
So that night he slept peacefully, and dreamt. There in that dream Liiruhyi walked in a field of white roses, calling to him in a voice no more real than the wind. She spoke of endless love and sorrowful goodbyes. She blew kisses and smiled, radiantly glowing with happiness. She cried a single tear for her child, and then disappeared into the cloud like beyond.
Toresti woke up with tears in his eyes. Such a sad dream, but it had not been a nightmare. He opened his eyes only to find an empty bed beside him, and with a strange suspicion taking over, he got up to look for her.
He checked their rooms very quickly, then the hall next. He noticed and open window and went to shut it against the cold of the night. At that instance a glimmer of white caught his eye and he looked up towards the towering parapet of the palace. There she hung. A white flower against the black of the sky. He watched in horror as she choked and gasped, grasping at the thick rope around her neck. As her last breath gave out, she locked her eyes on her husband, her true love, and whispered, "I love you."
Her feet went limp while Toresti could only stare in total shock. Then, a thick shadow swept over the woman's body. Toresti cried out as the Dark God began to envelop her, but that would not be so. A white light brighter than the sun burst forth from Liiruhyi's frame and shattered the darkness to all ends of the night.

When the light was gone Toresti was dead inside. He could not feel his heart for it had been strangled along with his love, his life. She could no longer smile and therefore his world was nothing but darkness and hate, except for one thing, one flame of hope, his daughter.
His mind completely raw and bereft of thought, he took up the baby and ran. For such great distances he did not know, because he could not think of anything but life without the woman that was his sun and his humanity. He ran and ran and ran, but he could not escape that scene as it replied in his mind.
He held his child close and looked into her eyes. What life would she have with he who could not live? What chance for her happiness was left in the world? He had no choice but to take himself away, throw the little one out of his reach. So he wrapped her in his shirt and laid her on the ground. He knew someone was following, but who it was didn't matter. As long as she lived and could find some measure of happiness that was all that was important.

So the dreaded Fire-Starter vowed that from that day forth his daughter should seek happiness and he would seek revenge.

The Journey's End - Day 21
So, I know I haven't written. These past few days I've been trying to get a clearer picture in my head, a better perspective on the whole Thing. The story or the history. I almost can't decide which one it is.
Has my father lied to me? Was this all just a ploy for my sympathy? Can I be the end of all this sadness?
I was always watching him while he told me, looking into his eyes when I knew he wanted me to look away. He was telling the truth. I know he was. There were emotions there that can not be fabricated, and the color . . . well, it wasn't black.
So I now know about my mother. He even told me more about her when I asked, but I couldn't write it all. No, there is too much to tell about the way they felt for each other. Supposedly there is a letter she wrote that night before she hung herself, but it is held in the Palace as a relic. My father has never been back there.
That's another thing, another strange thing. He told me that it has been over 500 years since my mother was queen. (That's right . . . I'm a princess.) How this time lapse is possible is quite amazing. Supposedly my father knew who was following him, and I know also . . . now. It was Malqomb. Which, yes, would make Malqomb about 530 years old, but this is the strange part. I was sent to Earth to get away from my father (for obvious reasons), and instead of sending me in the same time line, I was sent a lot of years in the future. So, they all knew this, and knew that one day Toresti would want to get me back (they don't know his story), and somehow they must have kept Malqomb alive for that many years. I don't really know because my father is very sketchy about the whole thing.

I'm in love with a 530 year old. My father is a legendary demon-guy. And my mother killed herself while possessed by the Dark God Amlerka. That's one thing I can't deny, I want revenge as much as my father.
And as I sit in the camp, just outside Amlerka's oldest, most sacred temple, I can't help but think that this is the end. One way or another this story will end here. I will find my fate, tomorrow.

Days
I lost track of the days. That hasn't happened until now, but it mattered before. Not anymore.

My tears have been dried by the cold wind. And my heart has been set to a better path. I said it was the end, and . . . it is over.
I will narrate the best that I can. For, you deserve to know.

My father woke me up very early on that morning. He shook me gently and brought me some food with a smile, but there was something in his eyes.
I had no choice when he asked me to go with him into the temple. I knew what was supposed to happen, and yet, I walked in on my own. The other men did not follow past the dark threshold. My father took my hand.

We walked through dark corridors that felt even more oppresive due to the dirt and dust. And then we came to the altar.
The room was bare except for that one red stone block. My father eyed it cautiously and let go of me. He took a few long strides and stood in front of the altar. Then he looked back at me as if he wished he could say something. "I'm sorry," his eyes spoke to me across the space, as he pulled forth a dagger.

Off to my right a voice cut through what should have been a dream. And it was all too familiar. Then he stepped out of the shadow. Malqomb.
"You, demon, will not touch her!" He shouted at my father, and from behind him I saw the silhouette of a huge man or beast, I couldn't tell. Then Malqomb shouted my name. He called me Maarii.

I looked between my father and the man I loved, then saw the glint of the knife and a cascade of deep red blood fall from my father's hand to the altar.

A roaring as I never heard filled the temple and the walls wailed and quaked. Then a mist spread over my eyes and I heard Malqomb scream. The world was red but black at the same time, like a living shadow had come to destroy all traces of light.
Amlerka.
A voice inside my head and all around at the same time. The Dark God had come.

My vision cleared somewhat and my father called to me. "Little one, my daughter, come to me." His voice was like acid, not his own.

"Maarii!" Malqomb shouted to me. Then he was next to me, holding me up, and behind him was a familiar yet strange looking York. "I am here now, and nothing will harm you."

"I will take her now, Demon of mine." Amlerka's raspy voice filled my head. I looked to my father and found his eyes, his human eyes, but he was different. I finally saw the evil there. An evil that so many had feared and I never wanted to believe. "Cassioankaiey!" He sounded hollow, but sorrowful? "I shall fulfill this fate. I shall end what must have an end." Then he spread his arms out and screamed,"Envelop me, My Dark Master. Take me and find your end!"

The Shadow pulled itself from the walls, the ceiling, the floor and formed itself around my father. Then he threw his head back, the Darkness swept into his body, and became one with him, with the demon.
The Fire Starter brought his eyes to mine, and there was black. My father was gone.
The demon advanced upon me, and I couldn't help but cry out when Malqomb fell. Then York fell, both from the power of this evil that I was a part of. I stared into that face. I would not back down. I remembered Malqomb's words, his tears, and my Father's words, his eyes. I took to my heart the only memories I had left of my life. And I called to him, as he pulled a monstrous sword from his side. I called to my father . . . my daddy.

One instant. The black was gone. I saw his eyes. I watched a single tear slide down his cheek. He lifted the sword, turned it on himself, and plunged it into his own heart.
The Dark God's scream was the most terrifying thing I have ever heard. The last hollow wail before death, and then he was shattered.

A blinding light erupted from the body of my father as he fell to the floor. The entire room was an inferno of white, and there was no sound.
When I could open my eyes, I saw him, and I barely noticed the thunder that enveloped the temple. He lay there, in a pool of blood, hardly breathing. I crawled to him and cradled his head in my arms. He looked so different, so human. The red had dissappeared from his skin, and he seemed smaller somehow. But his eyes were his own, and he held my gaze as he whispered, "My dove, now I have fulfilled my promise. Love this of me. Love my memory. You have only to live now. Only live for the world. Live for . . . " And he died.

So I was carried from the temple, and I stood outside and watched it collapse.

Is this an ending you envisioned? Is this possible you ask?
For me, it is the only possiblity. The only ending. Now I've lived this story, and it is no longer just a story. It is my story. This fate was my fate, but it is not finished.

Malqomb, York, and I have been traveling non-stop to get to the Fairy Palace. There is something that I must claim in that palace. I must find it. Maybe then . . . maybe . . . I can accept a future.

The Letter
I have very little left to write, considering that all the loose ends are being tied up by The Meredian Monks (Malqomb's Organization). However, I found the letter. Actually, I looked at it, through a glass case, and then, with York's help, I stole it from the Fairy Palace. It had never been opened, so I can't see that they would be missing it much.
All I can really do is copy it here, so I can look at it all the time.

Dear Daughter,
I love you. Yes, I will start there.
I had an awful dream tonight, no, not awful, but sorrowful. This dream leaves me with a sense of ending and beginning all at once. So, I decided to write, because my mind will not be calm.
What shall I tell you? I am happy. Your father is happy. I have known him for so many years now, and each day I only have to see him holding you to love him more. You are our miracle, my dove. That is my pet name for you, because your father named you and I am not attached to it. Cassioankaiey. One Who Will Change .
What will you change and why? I do not want to think that you will face hardship, and yet, as I write, I feel the change already taking place. Something in the moonlight. Something in the quiet air.
There might yet be something called Fate. That which pushes us to choose or to act, an intangible force that is as easy to blame for mistakes as the sky for rain. Yet, this untested entity should not be heeded to.
Regret is only for those who do not take chances, those who do not try. And this Fate, this Destiny, is only for the weak of spirit. Those who can not find their own paths, or who can not walk them. So, you must be strong, because no path is clear of obstacles, and those that are have no value, only illusion. And I know you will find your way, even if you tremble at first or fall. You will walk a path of which no one has come before, and each step will be a mark of your journey, whether of greatness or frailty. For, without one, the other is no more. Without fear you can not know courage.
And be courageous, my daughter, because this is a world full of terrible things that only the strong of heart can overcome.
One last word before I lay to dream once more. I hope you fall in love, and I hope you save the world.
And all I can do is hope for you, my dove. I will love you across all boundaries. Forever past all time. I love you.
Your Mother,
Liiruhyi

Now . . . I know my mother.

I have so many things to do, places to go, men to marry. Alright, only one. Yes, that's right, he proposed. I might seem young, but I only want to spend the rest of my life with one man, and that's Malqomb.
And through it all, all of my life, her words will go with me, and my father will watch over.

This is the ending. The ending of a story. Not many people will believe it, but that's what a story is for, I guess. To not be believed. Only felt and maybe understood.

EnD This Story Is Copyrighted By Jessica Austin. All characters are strictly property of Jessica Austin. Any use of these characters without strict permission would be plagarism. Please, respect this work and do not copy, reproduce or sell for any profit without my permission. Thank You.