Sunday, 18th June, 2000

I can't say I've had such a good week. I've been totally crusty all the time and I don't want to be. I put it down to working and the travel to & fro which is a right pain in the bum. But this morning I realised that I miss home. I miss knowing where I am what I'm doing and feeling like I exist.
Don't get me wrong, I totally do not regret coming here. I love Jay with all I am and want to spend the rest of my life with him. So I can not regret the move. And it's not that I hate it and want to go home. I spose just the whole isolation thing has gotten to me.
I had a really bad language day on Friday, where I had so many problems trying to get people to understand me. You have no idea how fustrating that is. I speak English too for gawds sake. Also on Friday I woke with some kind of problem to my foot and had trouble walking, which I still am today. So I have been completely immobile aswell.
The other thing that has been in the back of my mind is my dad. I can't just drive up to the crematorium whenever I feel like it and sit and 'talk' to him. That may sound crazy to some of you but it brings me unbelievable peace. It is father's day here (they have it in June for some weird reason) which has never been a good day for me. Also it would be dad's birthday in 3 days. It may have been almost 5 years, but that pain is still there.
And I miss my cats. I have this guilt following me all the time for Susie. I know..."she's just a cat" But she was like my only companion and my child for years. Now she has run away I feel so responsible. I can't tell you how much that hurts.
Last week I called two friends and then I spoke to mum last night, so that has probably compunded things too. But I really don't feel too far away from my friends & family as we can e-mail eachother all the time.
I think I'm just terribly fustrated. I can't open a bank account as to them I don't exist as I have no social insurance history. I couldn't get paid as I have no social insurance number. I can't get a social insurance number for atleast 2 more weeks. And then there is the whole language thing.

I feel like I'm not a person here.

But don't worry. The feeling will pass, with time I'm sure I will somewhat conquer the talking part and not have to write things down anymore. And I will get my SIN and all the associated privacy breaches that go with that ridiculous concept. (not that I am bitter you understand)

What does worry me is that I am feeling this way, but I know I will be home in January. What will it be like for Jay? I can't see him having any language difficulties as Australia has so much North American tv, that we know their silly words and accent. As long as he has a passport and a license the bank won't mind giving him a bank account. And there is no ridiculous SIN required to get paid. He will need a tax file number, but that is no big deal and doesn't give anyone and everyone access to all your personal details and history.
Plus we will both be sort of in the same situation. Both looking for work and housing etc. So I don't think it should be too bad for him. I really hope not.

Yes I'm afraid this has become a bit of a whinge fest on here. But I had to let it out, and that is ofcourse the whole reason I created this page, so I don't feel even the slightest bit guilty for it.

So I am going to go and make more "cookies" and waste my day. I hate waiting for day's to end, but I have no choice. It's raining (again) and I can't walk.

Hasta Luego

Monday, 5th June, 2000

Well I started my new job today. Must say it was a terribly boring day as most first day's are. But seems like a good bunch of people to work with and is a pretty cool company & pay rate so I'm pretty happy.

Saw my first chipmunk on Sunday at the zoo. It was just walking around the grass and I got reeeallly close to it  (I know Canucks won't care about this) but damn they are so cute! And little! I never realised how tiny those guys are.
I have seen alot of squirrels and I still will not be swayed from my opinion that they are cute and shouldn't be shot at. I just can't see those furry lil guys as "rats with tails". I like racoon's too (I can really see all the North American's shuddering now...) they have cute little faces and these big fluffy tails!
The only wildlife I didn't care to encounter was a scruffy looking fox just walking down the street in the middle of the day with "something" hanging out of it's mouth. Don't really wanna run into one of them again.

So we have moved to this new place away from the pyscho lesbian (if you don't know the story already, don't ask) and less than a week later the car got broken into and alot of expensive stero equipment stolen. Mind you this is in the parking tower of the building, so obviously some lil bastard that lives here.
Which brings me to my rant. It really really really peeves me that these "people" can just break into your car or home etc and take what the hell they feel like and not care less. The total invasion of privacy is enough to drive most people insane with rage. How do these "people" luve their lives doing this kind of thing? It's disgusting. Stick them in a detention centre in the middle of a desert (oops wrong country now) ...make that Alaska and see how the lil bastards cope.
Ok I could make that a really long winded thing, but I won't.

I feel better.

So I have forgotten about the fact I have an accent here, which is a bit of a worry. I have to start slowing down again now that I am working. Not everyone understands or appreciates Aussie talk.
It's June and it is still cold, and I do miss home. But I do like this place. I couldn't live here because of the winters, but as far as making money and living relatively cheaply and getting around it beats the crap out of Sydney. Carl Scully could really take a few pointers from the Canucks. Ok, so now I am getting political...time to wrap it up.

I'm kind of steering away from the weekly quote thing as the only ones I can think of are references to "Rolf Harris" or "Sub-humans"

(Hint:  Don't Ask)

Friday, 19th May, 2000

On Sunday I would have been in Canada two weeks. It has gone so quickly, and I really havent done anything!  The first week was spent trying to get my body into Canadian time. A 14 hour difference throws you out somewhat.

I've been to the CN Tower, saw the super dome and did the sky walk, went to the Eaton Centre and have basically had some jaunts downtown. The transit system is SOOO different to what I'm used to, and I must say, alot better.

Temps have been from 30c to 6c and the last few days have been quite cold and rainy. Seems every day that I decide to do something or go somewhere its all icky outside.

This weekend is a long weekend here so I shall be off to the zoo and stuff. I'm organising a trip to Vancouver in August and also to Niagra Falls and Prince Edward Island sometime this "summer". (I use the term loosely...lol)

This is Spring and I feel like I'm in the dead of winter. I'm sure summer here will be like my spring. I have no idea what I'm going to do in the winter. Hibernation seems like a very good prospect at this point.

Anyhow, I'll write some more and put some pics and stuff up soon...