Things that I have learnt....
and just so you all know...no they're not all mine, but it just wouldn't sound the same if i said "Things I and other people have learnt" now would it?
** Dogs are always the friendliest when they are wet and smelly
** Always put the plug in before fixing earrings over the basin
** Only plant zucchini if you have heaps of friends
** If you want the best seat in the house, move the cat
** Never shake a bottle without first checking that the lid is on properly
** Men have a unique brain program that just wont allow them to put the toilet seat down
** You should always put on a new bathing suit and get it wet before wearing it in public
** If you put 10 socks in the laundry, only 9 will come out
** You know you're having a bad day when your twin sister forgets your birthday
** When someone says "I Love You" they are really asking "Do You Love Me?"
** The only escalators that break DOWN are those that are supposed to go UP
** Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes
** Curiosity kills more mice than cats
**Life is like an ashtray, full of little doubts
** When all else fails, read the instructions
** People who lie FOR you will also lie TO you
** You shouldn't marry someone that visits their therapist more often than you
** You're never too old to learn new things, it's just much harder
** Never marry for money, It's cheaper to borrow it
** Don't tell your South American friends you are learning Spanish, you'll just get a headache trying to translate what they are saying
** Never leave the cat locked inside the house when the kitty litter box is outside
** As you get older you realise how really gorgeous you used to be
** Never hold hate inside your heart, it will only make you more bitter then the person you loathe
** Give advise to friends when they ask for it, even if it turns out to be wrong
** I actually like one of Ricky Martin's songs (Oh god, how embarrassing...I even bought the single! shhhhh dont tell any one)
** The amount of sleep needed is always ten minutes more
