Not that I had a bad month really but that it follows Frightening February and March (March Madness is right!) is just a hard month all around � that cursed strange succession between Winter and Spring; dark and light. March is the month my dad passed away in. This month has flown by (sometimes wishes do come true!) and I am waiving it away � scooting it out the door � already making its bed. Yet, the beast never ever sleeps.

Who�s to say though that April will be better or worse? I have an inkling that every single month on the calander this year will deliver me something more awkward than the next � the discomfort is settling in already. They say that you go through a giant change every 7 years of your life. Here I am at 21 experiencing my third spirit growth � it is stimulating if not uncomfortable. I want it to be a great year, a sparkling grandiose affair of pursuing life, love and career. Kitty cuddles, nice clothes and sveltness (I am working on the silly ol weight thing) and I am so determined to take the right path to a better me. I am sick of being held back, brought down, underestimated ... and I want to make this year � or at least the last 9 months of it � the year that I set myself FREE. A conscious effort on my part. I am excited to figuratively grow a new skin and fall in love with life all over again. My brother Matt always encourages me to �spread your wings�. Now, I just have to figure out HOW, I�d be as light as a feather, free as a bird. Pun fully intended.

Here�s to hoping that April treats me with plenty of showers (the pink raincoat at The Gap was on sale and I FINALLY bought it!!!), lots of purring, cute boys aplenty and resolution to all that unsettles me. I�d like to enjoy the month of April but should it treat me to the contrary... we both know I�ve had my practice counting to 10.