13 de junio del 2001

Momma's home and daughter's already stressing.

Okay, it's not that bad yet but she has started in with her little 'mothering' ways. "You're driving too fast. Your car is filthy. You're too stressed! You shouldn't eat that. You should eat this. I'll clean your room. You need to clean your room." etc etc. Dude, I'm twenty-nine years old!

She's trying to be good though. She saw a picture I have in my living room in which I'm smoking. I saw her pick it up but I was on the phone so I turned around pretending I was busy with my conversation. She held it up for several minutes, I guess trying to let me know she saw it, but I paid no mind. Then she put it back down and hasn't mentioned it since. Phew.

Isn't it strange though that I'm acting like a teenager around her? I'm trying to be myself... mature, wise, intelligent. But as soon as she arrived I caved. I felt my shoulders slump. I felt my self-esteem plummet. I feel like a guest in my own home. I'm walking on eggshells constantly and she hasn't even been here a full 24 hours. Yikes!

Is it all in my head? Am I pushing myself back to my younger years when I lived at home and felt like this? Should I go talk to a counselor? Should I work it out myself? Find my inner strength and just be myself? I should, huh?

Plan of action. Hmmm. Let's see. I will do things slowly so as not to slam her into shock. She's already met a couple of my friends over beer yesterday and she was okay with that. But, we didn't smoke. My girlfriends kept looking at me with "PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST WE NEED TO SMOKE!!!!!" eyes. I never told them they couldn't smoke... I just told them that I wasn't going to. Hee. They're sweet for refraining though. Love them!

Next guerrilla movement will be our upcoming show on Friday. I'm taking her with me. Eek! I've told one of my friends to take her mom too. At least she'll have someone to chat with if she gets bored. Right?

A poem for my bestest friend.

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