..death is another one of those controversial topics . We all have been born to die. Our bodies are ever decaying, even after death. From the beginning of time, from the first man unto the last, this will always happen, yet it seems we have never quite learned how to deal with death. Is it because of our own selfish reasons? Our self-attachment to the person how has died? Our faithlessness? I've tried to read up on it a bit, and still come to the same conclusion as, 'I'm just not sure what's going to happen.' Now that may seem quite hopeless, since I spent a good 10 years getting close to God and studying the scriptures. The fact remains, do we really know? We all certainly will find out one day.

1. We're all going to die, but I think it's the way I'm going to die bothers me. Of course we all want to go fast and in our sleep, but, it hardly happens that way. Why am I so afraid to die? Is it because I'm getting older, and the end seems nearer? Is it because the last 4 people that died in my immediate family died a horrible death?? I always wonder what the 'crossover' is going to be like. Will we know? Will we feel any pain? Will we really see the light? Will we be bludgeoned to the bowels of hell? Will God meet us at the gate? Will we, will we, will we???

2. I think there are 3 parts to death. First the acknowledgment that it will happen eventually. One must get his 'house' in order. Wills, bills, etc. :) I've told my family, when I die, remember that I'm happy, I got to do the things I wanted and seen, know that I lived. Have fun with my money. (haha)

Second, the actual death. It's so so so so so hard to deal with it, but one goes through it numbly. We somehow get the strength to get through it, and even after it, we somehow still don't believe it. I still can't believe my sister died back in 2000, and since then my dad has died and my best friend. It's too much, it hardly seems real, yet I really miss them.

Thirdly, after all is said and done, the memories. No one can take the memories from us. I suggest writing everything down that you remember about a loved one. Whether it be in story, poem, or diary.

3. There's only so many things that can happen......really.

One goes gloriously to heaven. Or horribly to hell. There is nothing after death, or our spirits just float about. I think it would be torture to know when one is dead and still be able to see the living, but not communicate. To see the living's hurt, the pain, the suffering.

4. To top that all off, what if there really is reincarnation???? Whoa!

True story: I had a vision once, during the day that I was up on this hill in Burgettstown (haha don't laugh, theres a joke in there somewhere) and i saw this bubble come towards me, and it got really big. It was filled with light. I was drawn inside the bubble feet first and was floating inside. There was a feeling like I never felt before, words just cannot describe, but I knew, it wasn't earthly, but heavenly. And knowing that, gives me faith.

Sometimes knowing the family that has gone before me, some quickly, some not so....but I know they got through it....somehow, and I too, at the end of my days, will get through it, and I shall know, just like the ones before me, and I shall hope that God meets me at the gate, and I once again, see my family and friends, and theres no more pain, and no more tears....