This interview is taken from: Strenght through War

1) Introduce us to the realm of NARGAROTH... By the way, what are your musical and ideological inspirations ?

Nargaroth started 1989 without a name. It was in the very first beginning nothing more than a leisure-time activity of an teenager. I tried to play an old distorted bass guitar and I screamed my lyrics to express myself in this confusingly times of a young man. I never was looking for other musicians because my preference was to stand-alone. This preference lasts ´till today! NARGAROTH is still a solo project!!
I recorded the instrumental demo “ORKE” (lim. to 150 copies). Unfortunately I had no equipment to record vocals. 
Later I found during a confused time in my confused head the name NARGAROTH. From this day forward I found my identity in that form. I recorded in November ´93 in my kitchen (that’s why the name K. -rehearsal in the booklet of the Herbstleyd CD) the demo “Herbstleyd”. It was lim to 200 copies and I still have some of the copies, cause I won’t give it to stupid people. And there are not much strong people in scene so I couldn’t give a lot of copies into the world. I hope I will not get to many letters now, cause since years I told to every one that no copies left, that all sold out. Cause I never found in scene guys again, who seems to be worthy for me to own that tape!! That’s sounds stupid, but that’s my attitude!!! On the other side, it is not very good. It was not like in my imaginations, so I felt shame to give it to someone.
Later the only friend in my life killed himself by a rope. This and the condition of the BM scene was a kind of a shock for me and so I fell into isolation. Later the guy of NO COLOURS got in contact with me and he liked the Nargaroth-style. And after long begging from his side I decided 1998 to re-record “Herbstleyd”. 
2000 The “Amarok” CD was released with unreleased and old stuff. It was not really necessary to release it. 
Then I made a new demo tape called “Fuck off to nowadays Black Metal” lim. to 333 copies on tape and to 100 copies on vinyl. It was released in august 2000 and is sold out. The reason for making tapes besides my CD contract on No Colours is, that I don’t like CD and stuff too much. To express myself more, I need the sound of reh.-tapes. The LP version contains a bonus Outro and in every single copy is a part of the original master tape from the song “A BM song, just for BM maniacs”, which were on every demo tape with an uneven number (1, 3, 5...299, 301, 333). I like this Release very, very much. The best song I made is the “Shall we begin” version on that Release. It sounds like the stuff I private listen to!!!!!! 
In November/ December 2000 I recorded my new album “ Black Metal ist Krieg - A Dedication monument ”. In my eyes a fucking great album of the fucking century.
At the moment I prepare my part of the split LP with the German horde MOONBLOOD on SOMBRE REC... It is called “ Rasluka - Part I ”. It is the first of 3 parts. 
The second Part will be now available on a four track MCD on NO COLOURS REC.
So, soon will be a DLP-Box released, which is limited to 99 units as vinyl and 666 units on Tape only. I decide who will get it!! This for sure nothing special. in the past a lot of bands decided to give their releases to only few people the knew. But that all was Demos without high costs, made bye almost unpopular bands. But that release dues cost a lot of studio costs and its an official release of NARGAROTH. In that box is an shirt, lim. to 99 units too, numbered, and some private stuff . The private stuff is different in every box. It depended on the person who will get the box. I must do all this to satisfy the demons in my head. every person who want that box must do some special act I will tell him. I want that the people must!!! do something for that release. Not only buying it! Some of that person I called to split the contact with me forever or so... I must do that, because I am unique....

My musical inspirations? At most my feelings in some situations, I think. It can be caused by rain, sorrow, love or some present-day themes in my world, where I related to. My songs are very different in the meaning or what they contain. All levels of live are included. I do not avoid some themes, because of the fact that they might be not “evil” enough or not to BM-style. Whatever in my mind belongs can be expressed by me trough BM. That’s why I would say I am more a song-maker than an Black Matallion guy.
So I can not say what especially makes me writing such art, like you described. I think its a cumulating of many factors. I am in BM since 10 years and the experiences I think are sure a big influence. But also my psychical disorder. I am a mad man or so. There are some statements like, that real touching art can only made by real, mad or psychotic mind. Well I know from a psychologist that I’ve a disorder. I have a shizo-affective psychosis. Caused of this disorder I have very own imaginations and thoughts. And this imaginations and thoughts I want and must work through with my art and music. If I do not this kind of karthasis I cannot live efficient. The main problem with my disorder is, that I do what I want, also if it dues destroy my life. I cannot see the consequences before I do something. What ever I desire I get it, what ever I want to do, I do it. That dues also mean that in my mind are no other thoughts or imaginations that could infiltrate the pure and clean wishes or thoughts of the moment. I have no moral border inside of me or so.
That makes my expressions and music to a very clean and pure thing, without dirt of a weak mind. I experience every single emotion with total passion. Hate love, desire, sex, depression..., all I feel with passion. Free from other emotions or rational views I fall into that emotions. They grasps me totally. I am a slave of them. And this I put into music. Emotions in the purest form. Could there be something better like that in a music or art style like Black Metal? NO ! 

2) Black Metal is obviously lot more than music for you so what is its importance in your life ? What is the role of Black Metal for you (counter-culture, propaganda...) ?

BM and my possibility to express myself into this art, it gives me the chance the keep myself alive. Why?
Well, I am an sociopath, better know as psychopath. Every interaction with people needs a lot of power of myself. Every smile, friendly word or act of empathy I do is very often a lie. But I hate this behaviour. That’s why its better to avoid the situations where I could lie. So I avoid humans. Misanthropy is , so I think , the basic dimension which leads all my interactions, goals and work. I can’t do something against it. Its a personal trait, I was maybe born with or I learnt over my development as human in interaction with my surrounding World. I do not wish this kind of personality to someone, because it makes the life poor. Happiness and joy is almost not existent in a life like this. A lot of people want to be “big Misanthropics” to be more true or evil. But I hate this shitty idiots. They knew nothing. The word -misanthropic- is violated by many asswholes. The speak it but act like friendly people. They are in contact with a lot of people. That’s why, I think, the present day scene do not know any more what real misanthropics are. 
It is of course a way of consider the world, the actions of humans. But, like I told you, this makes it hard to live. I am always alone, I never feel real happiness, I never can have a nice evening at a party. I’m always in a corner in the room, alone, starring to the ground. That makes life boring. So a real misanthrope, and I think I am one, has not a easy and satisfying life. He is seeing almost always the bad side of life and human behaviour. And the knowledge, that he is also a human, makes him sometimes fell like hating himself. And if you hate yourself, you can’t be lucky.
All that feelings makes it almost impossible to live, but through BM I can live. BM rules my life, it is a kind of a maxim that rules my life. This great art is possible to describe all emotions a man can feel. If I am unable to live a life, I can use BM for my personal development. BM is my bride, BM is my destiny and I am sure BM will be my downfall or decline. 

3) NARGAROTH is presented as a cult band in the underground. Is it something that surprise you or is it something you are proud of ? According to you, what are the reasons of this respect for your band ?

I am not proud and I am not surprised. I know I make pure art and as artist I should be convinced of my music. If not, why I should release my music?
Many individuals found themselves again in my songs, and the allowed their emotions to rule for a short moment their lives. I know it because of many letters I got.Therefore I want to be respected, for my songs, for my art. That I am able to create something. Many bands are there and many songs were and will be released. But the most of them are empty phrases without soul. This songs just exist that they are there. 
But maybe BM doesn’t mean to create songs with deeper emotions or so? Maybe BM means songs which exists for their own satisfaction? I don’t know. BM was in earlier time satanic. The lyrics weren’t very deep in meaning of being and soul. It could be, that this is the purest form of BM songs. And my songs are just a kind of development into an other direction into the art BM.
If I get respect for the fact that I am as man able to create songs with higher spirit it is Ok. I don’t want to be respected of the fact that I burned in the past some rehearsal rooms of unworthy bands that tried to make BM, of that I set up tear gas into the audience trough a concert of mine. All this I had done for the glory of the BM and not to glorify myself or make me looking evil ! Things like that should not be used to glorify a man. If a man do this only to become a respected man, than he make this actions not for the higher goal (in that case BM). Then he make it for himself. This egoistic behaviour I do not practise. 
I mentioned in some interviews that I had done things like that, to show, that I know what it means to live the BM!! In some mags was the slogan : “stop spelling words, now show actions”. The guys who wrote this in their mags, never did something for the BM! These persons write that slogans, but the real BM persons who make actions will go to prison. Thats the fact !!! Than the magazine writer hail the imprisoned person and use the actions of the imprisoned persons to glorify themselves. THIS IS A BIG FUCKING PROBLEM. And I give a shit of the writers of this slogans!
I lived the BM! I know what it means if BM rules you! And now?? He? Now I stand before the ruins of my life. Because of all I’ve done I got a lot of troubles with the police. Now I never can make some jobs or professions, because in my police file are information that due not allow to practise some jobs. I stand before the ruins of my private live. Because BM was more important to me than every person in my life. That includes all relationships. Now I am alone, only living for BM. But for me the BM is dead. All my action were ineffective, I could not change his destiny to become a fucking trend full of weak persons. I lost my life to serve BM ! And now, some fucking 19 or 21 years old newcomer want to tell me what I have to do. They say, I am probably not evil enough to be in BM. Ha !! Fuck you, Jews! 
I sacrificed my life, my future to BM !! And for what ??? Now I must recognise that I failed. BM has not survived! I lived BM, I know what it means. And now these persons who killed BM by infiltrate him, want to tell me who I am. Shit Shit lo3rfdöpDQJKLAXC 
(I must stop for a moment that interview to go out to get a little bit down with my anger.....) 


4) Do you stand for the laws of Nature (develop on this point, please) ? How do you compare and interpret them relating to present justice ?

The nature is the only that I allow to judge myself. I would never have respect to a human law. The nature is the only thing I have respect for. It makes me feel small, unworthy. It’s the loving, gift giving and also punishing mother. All law or rules that made by man, can be made meaningless by nature. It’s lawless. But the main power I bent my body for is the cosmos. The powers out there are the only one you can destroy the nature of our world be determinate the earth. The laws out there are at most physically or metaphysical nature. I am interested in some free hours to learn such thing about the space beyond the sphere that protect us. These law, these power I respect. Its the only real thing that makes me fear.
The present day justice might be good to control the masses, but I think although its sometimes necessary, it takes away the freedom. I don’t mean the freedom to kill someone. In justice are many aspect from normal life, being free. The more people see the violated aspects of laws, the more laws were made to keep’em down. We are too weak or only view in number, so we can’t do something against that. We can only try to do what we want in the hope, no one catch us to execute the laws on us.

5) Do you consider yourself as Satanist ? What is your interpretation of this ideology ? 
By the way, for some satanists in the scene to be "evil" seems to support rape, children molestation, tortures on animals...because these are things seen as "negative". What do you think of this kind of behaviour ?

No, I am not a Satanist. I do not believe in a transcendental spirit or being.I do not believe in devil nor god anymore. As I was a young teenager, I believed into all this. I was summon Satan that some of my wishes come true. But nothing seriously.
I think that Satan & god are great metaphorics to describe the duality of human behaviour, because without long explaining every one understand what Satan or God stand for. The meaning is clear. But I do not believe, that there are some persons or so. If God exists, than I will recognise this after my dead. And I hope that I will be strong enough to stand for all what I have done, if I will stand before the grand curt. “I am what I am. I’m just a man!” do I sing in my song “Amarok III”. And that’s the way it is. 
Well these Satanist should torture themselves and not animals nor children. Animals are more worthy that humans and children are not able to defend themselves.
But we all know that there are person doing things like that. If they torture children or kill them, it helps to decimate the human population. But this kind of Holocaust I don’t prefer or agree! Best is to kill the person by let them eat their balls until they asphyxiate by their own balls or dick! This kind of Holocaust might be much better.

6) Please, express yourself on these following topics : a) Spirituality b) Nihilism c) Honour

a) Spirituality
Well everyone got his own spirituality. some believe in gods, some in themselves. Other ones definite spirituality in the nature or their thinking are named as spirituality. I feel many different aspects of that, sometimes it is an aura of a place that makes me feel being a part of some sacral. Sometimes the pure nature or earth makes me feel this way. But I had to tell many things about that, so I should end here. 

b) Nihilism
I don’t care. I read some pages of books that contained that topic. As psychologist nothing impressed me much. Persons who think to find their living path in phrases in that books are weak persons in my eyes.The Weltanschauung nihilism might be for persons that are interested in. I don’t care about that.

c) Honour
Mhhh, I tried to fulfil this, but ill never was able to it. I was never or too seldom able to be a man of honour. But almost NO ONE can say that he is a man of pure , clean honour. We are all sinners in the case of that. So there is no need to write more about that.

7) You used to play live in the past so, can we expect more NARGAROTH gigs in the future ? Do you think live shows are necessary for a Black Metal band ? 

Some maybe. But I will not tell something about it. Nargaroth is a solo project. I need session musicians and because of my way to life I do not meet someone who could be one. I also see sometime so need to perform in front of an audience I wish more to kill, than to entertain.
Necessary, mhh. I don’ know. Maybe for bands which do exist only for making gigs and having parties. Very often the gigs are disappointed because the band may be good at studio with allot of effects and tricks, but on stage they are some small pissers with weak voice and atmosphere. I like also no life concerts in Black Metal. In all my life in BM since 1990/91 I visited all in all maybe 15 concert. Not more. And I was almost there with friends that took me to this. Sometimes I meet some buddies on concerts. They tell me all the time, that they can see in my face that I get bored and angry of being there...Ha. On concerts are humans. I can’t deal with that. Also if I visit an concert now, I am not incognito anymore. A lot fans recognise me and they dare to ask me things. I almost never answer....bla bla bla 

8) Thanks for your time and for your answers. The last words are yours...

What I have to say is since years the same and so also here.
For me, the real deep Black Metal is dead!! I hope, that the old warriors will keep their remembrances and feelings inside, that they never will betray this style and that the corpse of Black Metal won’t be violated and raped anymore. Black Metal was there as we needed it and now these art needs us. The old days will never return, but we can show our respect to old days...
To those who carry the spirit of Black Metal in themselves: don't forget the old days and do not soil their memory. Black metal was there for you when you needed it. Now Black Metal needs you to honour it. Act with dignity or kill yourself !
KvN


Contact : [email protected] 

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