DearChrsitine4

Dear Christine,

It seems to me that kids do will with some sort of routine or knowing what the schedule is--or at least what the day will bring. Did you work around some kind of routine or schedule or structure? What do you suggest? I lean toward trying to schedule stuff so that I know something will get done by the end of the day, but if I'm too rigid about it, no one is happy, including me. Any thoughts?

(I have a 4 and 6-year old.) Thank you!
Camilla

Camilla and all,

That has been my experience over the years, hence my reliance on our day planner, because I�m not a terribly organized person by nature. I believe, though, that young children derive a great sense of security when they know what to expect.
When my children were much younger I would tell them each evening what the next day would most likely bring. I found it helped them to have a little �all about today/what about tomorrow� debriefing time at the end of the day. I have kids who really like schedules and if we plan something that doesn�t happen they get very frustrated. We laugh because we have a saying in our house that if we do something once, and we like it, it becomes a tradition. Consequently, we�re careful about what we plan <g>.
Something important to think about, too. Whether or not you need structure or organization in your life, your children may. And the amount of structure or organization you have doesn�t have to impact your �homeschooling style.� You can be an organized unschooler or a seat-of-the-pants curriculum user.
Take care,

Christine

Dear Christine,

We're so used to nurturing everyone else. What have you learned about how we can take care of ourselves?

Thank you,
Deborah

This is a topic so close to my heart -- one I spoke on at the OHEN
conference this past year. As parents of homeschoolers it is so easy
to live our whole life with and through our kids that we sometimes
lose our sense of self along the way. Here are some ideas for caring
for yourselves:

1. Stand up, turn off the computer, and go for a walk, or work in your garden, or arrange to have lunch with a friend.

2. Keep a journal.

3. Develop a passion that has nothing to do with your children or spouse. I garden, write and tend my two cows.

4. Get physical. Your mental and emotional health is dependent on getting some exercise. You're never too old or too out of shape or too tied down. Even 20 minutes a day of walking will work wonders. I started Taekwon Do at age 43 and am now in the final few months of preparing to test for my black belt. Who'd have ever thought it?

5. The hardest times to homeschool are when you aren't getting along too well with your significant other -- the stress really trickles down. I've been married for 24 years. That's a long time to live with another person. Homeschooling can put a strain on marriages if the homeschooling spouse spends all their time with the kids. If that relationship is stressful you will be more stressed. If it is going fairly smoothly, support from your spouse will come more readily.

Make a date with your spouse, regularly. If you can't afford a sitter trade with another couple for a night out. Go out for coffee or dessert, take a walk in a beautiful place, go to dinner. Make it something where you are actually talking to each other (not a movie or music event.) It doesn't have to be fancy, just alone time
together.

6. Have time alone regularly. Schedule it in. Make sure it happens.

7. Work at being happy and feeling successful. It's really true that you can talk youself into a better mood. Sometimes it's a matter positive self-talk, noting what is going well and feeling good about
it.

Good topic, Deborah! Thanks for bringing it up!

Christine