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Things are suppose to be easier when you love someone this much. But with this love has come many other things like fear and doubt and plenty of emotions I can't even begin to explain. It's not that I doubt this love, it's more a fear of the unknown. In my heart I know everything is going to be ok, but i'm not one to follow my heart. I think to much. I second-guess every action that crosses my hopeless mind. Being logical is a dreadful disease I inherited from my mother. I need a reason for everything and I listen closely to what others say, trying to figure out what they "really" mean. I learned from her that there's usually a meaning behind everything and I long to know the truth. But still, while my mind races in circles, my heart is gradually getting louder. Insisting that I listen, I can hear what it's saying now, and I want to believe it. So I fight back the fear of letting go. The fear of the "unkown" and giving in to my love. This isn't easy for me to do, but I want it. I want to open up to you. I want it all. I swallow the lump in my throat and at this very moment, with my eyes closed, I take a deep breath and for the first time in my life, I did it. I gave into all that my heart desired. As I breathe out slowly, all my fears, all my doubts faded like a childhood memory. I open my eyes and suddenly the world looks different. It looks new. The sky is a brighter blue and the sun a little warmer on my face. And for once I know that what I feel is real. It's not some fascination or what others might call "puppy love". It's pure and true. I let out a sigh of relief and sat down waiting for you to take me away. Away to the "unknown". I am no longer afraid. As long as I have you by my side, I know I can do anything. So here I am. Waiting for you. |
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