I sit at my desk trying not to burst into tears as he talks about another girl. I get up and walk away for a moment to collect myself while he continues typing. I take a deep breath and return to being the supportive friend I swore I'd always be. Still I can't help but wonder if he might feel the same way. If there might be a hint of feeling. Maybe a minute out of a day when all he can think about is me.
I proceed on, reading about how he cares for this girl and never knew he could feel this way about her. But wait, I must have missed something. I reread what he typed and my heart stops. My face grows hot. And I know it has to be red. Tears begin to form in the corner of my eyes. Did I read that right? I read it again. And again. And again. Was he really talking about me? He was.
My mind becomes hazy with a thousand thoughts running through it. And for the first time since I've known him, I didnt know what to do. Everything I wanted to hear him say, he was saying. And I'm sitting here like a scared kitten inches from the neighbors dog, unable to move. What is wrong with me. I cant think of anything to say. After what seemed like eternity, I finally typed my response. Of all the words in the English language, "wow" was the only one I used. And still, after my pitiful excuse for a reply, he wanted to meet me. I hesitated. And a hundred thoughts consume my head again. What if I get there and he changes his mind? What if I'm not what he expexted? I know we had talked about meeting before, but this time was different. I know how he feels. And I don't want to be a disappointment. But I can't resist. Later that will become my weakness.