| DBZ: THE OTHER DIMENSION CHAPTER 4 Disclaimer: Of course I DO NOT own DBZ... Yeesh! *** Man was I bored! �Hey, all!� I called to the Dragonball Z characters that were littered across my living room. I found now that they very much enjoy TV in my dimension. Vegeta has also taken a fondness to a LazyBoy recliner. However, now he stood leaning against a wall. On this particular day the fighters and their wives/ significant others/ relatives from other timelines were cranky, sleepy, or both. �What�d ya do all day?� I asked. Goku looked at me while throwing back his head and devouring a bag of chips all at once. �Well,� he said, mouth full. �I fau Ve-eta.� �You fought Vegeta. Cool. So did you kick some ass?� Goku simply nodded, sure enough, he had. Vegeta scowled. Vegeta was silent a few more moments when he took a seat at my kitchen table, leaning back in a chair and propping his feet on the tabletop. That action won him a glare of the century from me and every Z-girl in the room besides 18, who didn�t care, and Videl, who wasn�t there. Sighing, he put his feet down and in a rough voice demanded, �I want a Dr. Pepper� NOW!� Bulma, still glaring, spoke up. �Vegeta, show a little courtesy. Chris here is being nice enough to let us live out of her own pocket!� Vegeta grunted. I laughed. �Him? Show /courtesy/? Does that /ever/ happen?� �Not yet,� Bulma replied. �But I�ve been hoping that someday he might develop at least the smallest level of social skills.� �I don�t think that anything less then completely brainwashing him would work,� I suggested. �I, Vegeta, am still in the room, you know,� he said, trying to get our attention. Without looking at him we both mumbled, �We know.� A few minutes later, Videl entered, carrying plaid boxers. �Gohan, these were in my room, I believe that they are yours,� she stated, throwing them at him. Krillin, Yamcha, Goku, Vegeta, Mirai, Trunks, Goten, etc, all turned around with suggestive grins on their faces. Chi-Chi, however, looked less than amused. �Gohan! WHY were YOUR boxers in VIDEL�S room?� Gohan quickly turned red. Videl laughed. �They were just in my laundry pile, though how /they/ got messed up with my laundry is a mystery.� Krillin, Vegeta, and Yamcha sniggered. �That is so wrong,� Gohan stated to them. �Where�re your consciences?� �I don�t have one,� Krillin said simply. �I don�t have one of those, dumbass,� Vegeta replied. Yamcha, still laughing, merely agreed. �I don�t own one either.� The room was silent a few more minutes as the TV blared whatever soap opera was on. Mirai stood up. �Please, tell me why we are here again? It slips my mind in my state of COMPLETE BOREDOM AND INSANITY!� (Don�t ask, quote from one of my friends fics, spaceship Pilaf all the way!) I shrunk back. For such a silent looking guy he sure had a loud voice. (lol) Goku sighed. �I agree, boredom is not good for a Siayan, but as far as insanity goes, Vegeta says I�m already half there.� Vegeta smirked. �Let�s go out to eat!� I said, not thinking. �I think it�d be a great idea!� �Are you sure that you want to expose Kakarott to �eating out.� He would have to learn to eat food with /manners/.� The guys and Videl piled in my car (yeah, that�s right, I got my license, second try�) As Vegeta put it �the rest of the females� wanted to �do �girl� stuff.� It was laughable seeing Vegeta say �girl stuff.� �And the fun begins�� Yamcha remarked from the back. *** Upon entering the Dominos, Vegeta eyed a coke machine. A woman and her child were standing next to it, buying a beverage. Vegeta walked over. �Does this damn thing sell those shitty Dr. Peppers?� The woman said something to Vegeta and left abruptly, holding her child by the hand and yanking her out. Vegeta walked back to the group. Goku looked at Vegeta. �What did she say?� He asked nonchalantly, motioning to the woman and her child, now in the parking lot. �Her exact words: You! Get away from us!� Vegeta replied. �Ah, so your bad attitude precedes you then,� Yamcha observed. Vegeta glared at him, but before he could kill him, I spoke up. �Vegeta,� I yelled. �You behave yourself or�or� or you won�t be able to eat with us and I have that power because I have U.S. currency. I have American dollars. You have Zenni. You have nothing. Zenni will not pay for food in this dimension.� Vegeta almost looked as if he were going to cower. �You are positively evil. Almost as evil as I am, yet� not quite.� The waiter came and took our drink orders� Vegeta ordering a Dr. Pepper, of course. The whole group decided to get the bar thing where you can make your own pizza. After three minutes of ridiculous conversation and not receiving our drinks, Vegeta stood up. �I believe my IQ has just dropped two points from sitting here with you,� he stated. �And I am tired of waiting for my Dr. Pepper, I am going to by one out of that machine. I will find the change to buy it ON MY OWN!� Vegeta, Prince of the Saiyans, proceeded to get down on his hands and knees and scoop 75 cents off the ground. He inserted the coins into the machine and pressed the button labeled �Dr. Pepper.� A few seconds later the digital display read �SOLD OUT.� Vegeta cursed and pressed the coin release. Nothing came out. Vegeta screamed. �AH! I EVEN TOOK THE TIME TO PUT THIS HUMAN CRAP MONEY IN THE DAMN THING AND IT STILL REFUSED TO GIVE ME WHAT I WANT!� Gohan stood up. �I�m going to go� um� try and calm him down.� Gohan left. Videl took a sip of water. �I�m going to see what magazines they�re selling,� she remarked, leaving as well. Vegeta�s rant continued. "WHAT DOES A SAIYAN HAVE TO DO TO GET A DECENT CUP OF DR. PEPPER AROUND HERE? HA! MAYBE I�LL GALIC GUN THE *&@#^*& MACHINE!!" Gohan politely tried to calm down the Saiyan prince, who started screaming again, eye twitching. �THIS IS BULLSHIT! I AM PRINCE OF THE SAIYANS! THE STRONGEST BEING IN THE UNIVERSE! SO STRONG, I COULD BEAT KAKAROTT IN A FLASH!� Goku stopped watching Vegeta and turned to the table. �I don�t know him,� he stated innocently. �SHUT UP!� Vegeta yelled at him. �I DON�T LIKE YOU KAKAROTT!� �Way to bring down my self-esteem,� Goku muttered. �I AM VEGETA! AND I NEED DR. PEPPER!� Everyone in the restaurant was silent. Then, a teenager and his girlfriend, both with dyed hair and chains around their neck stood up, clapping. �Beautiful!� he called. Meanwhile� Goten and Trunks had taken their straws and water and proceeded to blow hard enough in the straws as to cause the water to fountain everywhere. Goku shouted up, �Hey, that looks like fun!� �Define fun,� I said, watching the two young demi-Saiyans now suck the clear liquid up their nose enough to blow it back out without getting it in their lungs. �Can I have a straw?� Goku asked me. �Sure.� I handed him one. Goku peeled off the paper, stuck the straw in his water, and blew. And me, sitting across from him, was the one to get doused. �You ungrateful piece of crap!� I yelled. Goku laughed. �Yeah, yeah,� I said. �I hope it�s funny when you�re in hell. I am shocked and appalled.� A pause. �But it does look like fun� hours of fun.� �Is anybody else scared?� Krillin asked, looking mainly toward Yamcha and Mirai, his only allies. Whatever happened to Gohan and Videl? Let�s check on them� Videl flipped a page in a beauty magazine as Gohan stood nearby, leaning against the magazine stand. �Uh!� Videl exclaimed. �Here it says that kissing makes you lose 45 calories. Is that true?! I�ll never lose weight!� Gohan laughed. �Son Gohan! My seductiveness is not something to be trifled with!� She went to the candy stand and grabbed a Twizzler, using it as a sword and aiming it toward Gohan�s butt. (A fine one at that!) �Go ahead and hit my butt with that Twizzler, Videl. You obviously would like to die a slow and painful death, and have lots of people laugh at your misery.� �Fine,� Videl said, whacking him in the butt, with the least impressive of sword handling skills, mind you. Gohan screamed, �WAR!� as Mirai stood up and spoke toward Videl. �No, no, no, that�s all wrong, you don�t even hold swords that way!� As Gohan and Videl sword fenced toward Vegeta, the Prince of the Saiyans was mumbling to himself. �I /am/ the strongest! Yadda, yadda, yadda, you get the picture, I want a Dr. Pepper!� At the table� �You may now go to the make-it-yourself bar,� the waiter-dude stated. In 1/484,234,774 of a second Goku had gotten up, eaten everything, and sat back down. The waiter gaped. �We�ll just� umm� restock�� He turned and left. The chefs and waiters all brought out more food and restocked the bar. �Okay, you may now-� Once again in 1/484,234,774 of a second, the food was gone. Once again, they restocked. Once again, Goku ate it all. Once again they restocked. Yamcha turned to Krillin. �You know, it�s no fun when Goku keeps getting the food before we do. Damn bastard.� Krillin nodded. Ahem�at the sword, I mean, Twizzler fight. �It�s in the wrist and shoulder, swing wide, and focus your energy on the target and connecting with it. Visualize yourself hitting the target and WHAM!� Mirai was coaching Videl in her sword skills. Videl paused. �Alright, you just asked me to visualize Gohan�s ass,� Videl said. There was a brief silence as both she and Mirai looked at Gohan�s butt. �And damn, he has an ass to die for!� I shout. �Hey!� Gohan yelled. Videl whacked him a second time. �Hey!� Gohan yelled, again. Goten and Trunks climbed off their chairs and ran passed the Twizzler fight and disappeared into the men�s bathroom. Vegeta watched them pass, giggling evilly. �Hanging out with that mini-Kakarott can�t be good for my son, might kill off a few brain cells if he�s anything like his father,� he remarked looking over at Goku. Krillin, Yamcha, Goku and I had all ordered Dr. Peppers and were having a grand time. �BUUUUUUUUUUURP! That was a good one!� Yamcha said. �BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP! Whoa, my lips were going all over the place with that one!� Krillin exclaimed. �You are a burping god,� I told him. �BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP! That was SO dedicated to you!� �You think you�re so special,� Goku said to Krillin. �When along comes ME! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MAN!� �That was beautiful!� Yamcha said in awe. �Nothing will ever compare to THAT burp,� I stated. Krillin just sulked. �I feel one comin� on!� Yamcha exclaimed. He turned around and �BUUUUUUUUURP!�ed at some people at the next table. He turned back to us laughing. �I just burped at those people and I don�t even know who they are!� �And you�re saying /I/ have no manners!� Vegeta remarked from the Coke machine. Goku laughed and gave Vegeta the typical Son grin, leaning back in his chair. The leg of the chair slipped in the crack of the tile and the Saiyan hit the ground hard, drawing the attention of the whole restaurant. �Oops,� was all he said, outwardly amused and starting to laugh. Krillin didn�t want to attract anymore attention but burst out laughing anyways. Yamcha and I did too. Gohan, Mirai and Videl had stopped their Twizzler fight. �What happened?� Videl yelled. Krillin caught his breath. �Goku just fell backwards in his chair and busted his ass hard on the floor!� He summarized loudly, pointing to Goku. �Just great, dad!� Gohan called. �Dammit, Kakarott,� Vegeta yelled. Gohan shrugged. �Or, you know, you could say that but I was going for the non-cursing approach. Videl shrugged as well, and, to the unsuspecting Gohan, whacked him in the butt for a third time. �GEEZ! THAT�S THE THIRD TIME I�VE BEEN WHACKED IN THE ASS! WHAT THE HELL!?� �Non-cursing approach, Gohan. Please, non-cursing,� Videl cooed. Back at the table� �You,� I said to Goku. �Have lost all burping privileges!� Goku couldn�t respond, he was laughing so hard. �He�s really lost it now,� Yamcha observed. �So has the author,� added Krillin. Me (As author): �SHOVE THAT COMMENT UP YOUR ASS KRILLIN!� Anyways�.let�s check in on Goku again shall we? �5644, 5645, 5646... Oh crap, I lost count! Someone give me another Tootsie Roll Pop!� Vegeta was still ranting. �STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE! YOU NAME �EM, I COULD BEAT �EM UP!� Krillin mimed the �talk a lot� thing with his hands. (Where ya put all your fingers together except your thumb and then open and close your hand.) �HOTTEST SAIYAN ON THIS PLANET!� He continued. �I dunno, there�s always Gohan!� �Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!� Everyone said. �Is it confirmed?� Yamcha asked. �Yes! We HAVE a dis!� All the sudden, a man ran screaming out of the bathroom, zipping up his fly as he did so and mumbling. �Those kids� are crazy!� I stood up. �Goten and Trunks are missing, men are screaming form the bathroom, all the evidence points to one thing.� Everyone's eyes turned to the door of the men�s room. We mustered up our courage and opened the door. This is what we saw: Trunks had his pants pulled down and was mooning whomever walked in (I.e. the movie, remember?) Toilets were running, sinks were flushing, the pictures were off the wall, Goten was climbing over stall doors, the bathroom was� alive. Isn�t that a lovely image that springs to your mind? �You�re beyond disgusting,� I called, and everyone nodded. They had even TPed the toilet paper (if that�s even possible!) Needless to say, the night ended like this: Goten and Trunks were getting scolded by Vegeta. Yamcha and Krillin had managed to grab a few scraps of food and were carrying it to the car in take-out doggie bags. Goku was asking, �Could I get some painkillers over here, please?� Videl and Mirai were grinning in victory over what would be later called the �Twizzler Wars�. Gohan was mumbling how when �I close my eyes, all I see are Twizzlers.� Why did we leave? You ask. Well, that�s simple. We were kicked out. (�Bout time!) *** I�m SO smoking something! |