By Laura H.
Pan sighed, her onyx eyes gazing wordlessly out the window of her bedroom. It was almost midnight and for some reason, Pan could not sleep. Something was keeping her up at night. She figured that it was because there was two more days till Christmas, and that her excitement kept her jumpy, thus unable to rest her mind for the energy needed for the next day.
Her shoulder length hair fell loose over her shoulders as she rested her head in her palm. Random thoughts flew in and out of her head as she stared out into the endless night. The open window let the cool breeze fly into her dark room, making the hairs on her arms stand. It just stopped snowing, and there was a new white sheet of snow over the roads and sidewalks. She sighed a second time... 'I need to shovel....again.'
'I can't believe it's Christmas already....it felt like just yesterday that it was summer, hanging with Bura and Goten by the pool.....all the barbeques....all the get togethers...Kami, I miss those days...' She thought and she continued to stare out into the dark sky of the night. Even though, she had friends who cared for her, and had a family that loved her, she felt that there was something missing in her life, and she couldn't quite put her finger on it.
It was until recently, she knew was it was...
It was Love...
It wasn't the kind that you get from friends...it wasn't the kind that you get from family...it was the kind that you get from a man...and one man alone...
She came to realize this when she always looked at 'him'. She didn't know why, but everything about him intrigued her...when it was the voice of his mouth or the look in his eyes, she couldn't tell. But there was one thing she would wonder about...
....Did he feel the same way about her...?
She shook her head. Of course not. Why would he? She wasn't beautiful, or funny, or nice or anything like that. She was just a 17 year old girl who still loved to train and pick on Got. There where no signs of maturing for her. Everyone still thought of her as 'Panny'....
And she hated it..
A lot....
She sighed at that last thought and decided that it was time to finally close the window and go to sleep. Walking over to her bed, she slipped in under the covers and found herself just staring up at the ceiling. She groaned and turned over to her side. The thought of him was a plague, a disease to her mind, and to cure herself, she needed to rid of all thoughts of him...'Impossible...' she thought bitterly, 'To rid myself of Trunks is to like trying to squeeze water out of a rock...'
But also, he was a need. She needed to be close to him, to talk to him, to touch him...she knew that she couldn't start her day without his smile or laugh...it always brought her spirits high. "This is all your fault Trunks! If you hadn't been so nice to me and so damn sexy, I would have hated you and avoided all these unwanted feelings I have for you!" She yelled into the pillow, her eyes closed.
Breathing deeply, she calmed her nerves and forced herself to keep her eyes closed. But it was then, as she imagined Trunks and herself. "Argh!" she groaned, hating herself for feeling this way, "I'm such a fool...only making myself hope that he feels the same way, I'm leading to a mistake..." she trailed off and aimlessly glanced at the clock, located beside her bed stand...
"Holy shit! 2:46 AM!?" she scowled and lifted her head up, "I got to get up early to go last minute Christmas shopping with mom..." she reminded herself, falling back down on her back, "Oh Dende...spare me this one day...that�s all I ask of you." her voice was almost a whisper...
It was until then...had she finally gone to sleep.
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"Panny! Panny!" a voice called out to her, "Pan! Get up and get dressed! We dont have much time!" her mother yelled from downstairs. Even Videl's high pitched voice pierced through the thick walls of her room. Pan groaned and sat up in her bed. 'She must be taken lessons from Bulma...' she thought with a frown. Her eyes darted to the clock beside her, '7:17 AM...' she sighed and got out of bed with much effort.
She stopped in her tracks as she came across her bedroom mirror. Raven hair dissary, dark bags under her eyes, she stared at herself in the mirror. Just the sight of her made her depressed. 'Wow...you sure are a looker, Son Pan. Others wouldn't hold a candle to you.' she sarcastically thought to herself. Then, she suddenly didn't feel like going anywhere, she didn't want to go anywhere. Not today. Not now. Not ever. She wished that she could stay in her little room, the four walls protecting her from anything she didn't want.
"Pan! Come on! We got to beat the last minute shoppers!" her mother's voice was close and Pan could tell that she was comming to her room. "Pan....." the door opened and her mother walked in, dressed and ready to go. "Pan, honey, whats wrong?" she asked, voicing her concern for her daughter. "Are you okay?" Faking it, Pan nodded and bowed her head as she held her stomach. "I don't feel so well.." Pan answered, Videl gave her a valuating look, then finally, she spoke, "You don't look to good, either."
'Jeeze, thanks Mom.' Pan thought as her mother raised a hand to her forehead, "Well, you don't have a fever..." she thought outloud, "Maybe it's best if you stay home today and get some rest." she concluded with a smile. 'That sounds nice...' Pan added mentally. "Is there anything you want while I'm gone?" her mother asked and Pan shook her head 'no' and turned toward her bed, ready to go back to sleep.
Pan closed her eyes as she heard the door shut close and her mother's footsteps fading away. 'I wonder what he is doing now...' she thought as she stared at the snow falling out of the window from her bed. 'I don't feel like shoveling today...' was her thought as she covered herself with the blankets and drifted into a deep slumber only to dream of her love...
Or atleast she tried if it hadn't been the ringing of the phone right next to her bedtable.
Pan groaned angrly and whoever had the nerve to call her on a Saturday morning was gonna get an ear full and a dead line. She pulled the phone roughly to her ear, "Who is this!?" she demanded to the person who was on the other end of the line.
"Pan?" a familar male voice was heard over the phone.
