(WARNING!! COMPLETE IDIOCY AHEAD!)--Who is Son Goten? If you know anything about Dragonball you know Son Goten is the second son of Gokou and Chichi, conceived during the Cell Games and the youngest ever to go SSJ. But I question this fact. Not really, but for fun I do. We all know Goten has to be Gokou's kid because he can go SSJ. But what if he just wasn't Son Gokou's?Think about it. Chichi and Son Gokou couldn't have sex during the Cell Games. He was recovering from a heart virus, and Chichi's so protective of him that it would be impossible that she'd allow him to have sex! So who's the only ever guy to be close enough to her to have fathered Son Goten while they were both grieving the death of her dearly departed? Why, Yamucha of course!
Let's look at the evidence. Firstly, the two spent a lot of time together caring for Gokou while all others besides Muten Roshi, Oolong and Puaru were out fighting. Oolong and Muten Roshi clung together due to thier mutual love for porno, and Puaru seems to latch onto Oolong (I think those two have something going on too.) So anywho, Yamucha and Chichi make a slight friendship as they watch over Gokou. Then when Gokou dies, they're both so grieved they lose themselves together (ick). See, Buruma just left Yamucha and Gokou just (inadvertantly) left Chichi, so they knew each other's pain, so to speak.
Need more proof? Well how about the fact Yamucha appeared at the 25th(?) Tenkaichi Budokai? Gohan didn't tell him about it. We saw him fly to tell Vejita and his family, Piccolo and his 'family' (Popo and Dende), and we saw him tell Kuririn and his family. He never told Yamucha. So who did? It couldn't be Buruma, because Yamucha seems uncomfterable around her and she's not exactly apologetic about having cheated on him. Only two people would have spent any time bothering to tell him, Kuririn and Chichi. Kuririn already didn't want Piccolo to know, so why would he tell anyone else, eh? It must've been Chichi, out of the idea that Yamucha may want to see his son fight in the junior matches (that is, if he knew Goten was his. She may have kept it a secret from everyone.)
Even more proof, you say? What makes you like Gokou so much anyways? Oh, well, here's the best proof I can give. Goten looks more like Yamucha than Gokou. Now, I know you're saying "What?!", but please, read on. Goten looks more like Gokou only when Chichi cuts and styles his hair that way (trying to avoid suspicion, I bet), but when he lets it grow out properly in his teenage years, it automatically takes on the whispy look of the Desert Wolf Bandit, Yamucha-sama. Plus, the cut in GT looks a lot like Yamucha's Cell Games cut (Hey, Gohan too. Maybe they're both Yamucha's!!). Hey, look at Tenshinhan. Myabe he's Vegeta's real dad. Just give him electric shock hair, and there you have it. Or are third eyes hereditary?
Anyways, there's personality. Gohan, Gokou's definite son(Well, actually, his hair looks like Yamucha's too...curse that tail!), is a total pansy as a kid. You'd think Goten would be even more at risk since he hangs out with a butch sporting lavender hair, who's most definitely been traumitized by his parent's unloving marriage. But unlike Gohan the pansy or Gokou the total sexually unadvanced idiot, Goten is sweet, confident and cute. Also, when Goten gets older, he basically quits fighting and becomes a ladies man (ah, following his father's footsteps). But improving on his father, he never dated Buruma.
The opinions expressed above are not the opinions of the webmistress, so don't flame me. I merely find this funny (and don't flame me about my lame-ass sense of humor, either, I hear about that a lot).
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