I cant remember ever feeling like this,
Even with my everyday unhappiness.
It�s a worse kind of emptiness....
Something isn't right inside of me.
Now dreams of her leave me restless;
Where, why - does she still exist?
Nightmares of pains untold, sadness -
What if these things came to be . . .
Thoughts, feelings, making me listless.
Why didn't I hold on tighter to her;
Now that I haven't, oh, how much I miss
and have missed.
Can't I know, just to end this distress:
Is she here, heart still beating.
Please let her feel no loneliness
Or this emptiness.
Her hair, face, there behind my closed eyes.
Wretched fears block my visions:
Pangs of hollowness. . .
Do my dreams deceive me this;
Or are these truths that be.
Perhaps it's only bitterness,
Things lost to me like she was;
Is.
This emptiness.
Her eyes stare at me in the darkness,
Spectral image, seared into my unconscious.
Dark, haunted, hollow eyes on me focus:
Remembered from dreamt distress
Every lack of tenderness
She haunts me still, from here or eternal rest.
What has become of my friend?
Feelings of foreboding I can't suppress
Her eyes watching, even as I undress
Prepare for sleep, more or less . . .
Hovering in my nightmares, she's there.
But these dreams, I don�t dare to repress
Nor bare to unwondering states regress.
Sleep steals over me, lapping against consciousness:
Those haunted, haunting eyes seeing this,
Thoughts of her betide me, maybe for the best.
No rest can come, but she's here with me
In my mind, until I awake to the same old emptiness.
