QUESTION: What relationship does the Surgeon have with the boy?
The Golfing Preacher
There was this Preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course, swinging away. It was an obsession.
One Sunday after a dreadful winter, dawned a picture of perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right -- that ideal, rare, incredible proto-spring day which pleads with us to come away and dally.
The urge to play golf overcame him, so he called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and arranged for the assistant to take his morning and evening services.
He then got into his car and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognise him and began to play a round.
His guardian was watching the Preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at this preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing." God agreed.
The preacher teed up on the first hole, a murderous par four. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup, five hundred yards away -- a perfect hole-in-one!
The preacher was staggered, amazed, and terrifically excited, but the angel was shocked!
He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon Lord, but I thought you were going to punish him!"
The Lord smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"
The Novice Golfer
A retiree was given his first set of golf clubs and decided to try them out to see what all the
excitement was about the game of golf. "I have no idea what this game is all about" he told the golf pro. "What do I do?"
"You hit that ball near the flag on that green out there" the pro replied.
So the novice tees up and smacks the ball straight down the fairway and onto the green where it stops an inch from the hole.
"What now?" the novice golfer asks the stunned pro.
"You're supposed to hit the ball into that little cup" the pro replies.
"Oh great!" the retiree exclaims. "Now you tell me that!"
Double Bogey Golf
Tired of never seeing her husband who was always on the golf course, a woman took up the game and wound up playing with her husband on a country course one day.
He hit his drive way off into the rough, behind a barn. She came over to take a look, surveyed the situation, and suggested that if he opened both barn doors he could hit his ball straight through the barn to the green.
He saw this as an excellent idea, complimented her for her suggestion.
Then opened the doors and stepped up to the ball.
He made a swing and got great contact on the ball.
Unfortunately it was off line, bounced off the door frame, and hit his wife in the head and killed her.
Years went by and the man remarried. This time his wife was a golfer.
One day he finds himself in the same situation as with his original wife, on the same course in the rough behind the same barn.
His new wife took a look at his ball and suggested that he could make the green if he
opened both barn doors and hit it through the barn.
"No way," says the husband. "I can't do that."
"Why not?" the wife asks.
"The last time I did that something terrible happened."
"What?" the wife asks.
"I got a double bogey."
Yogi Bear
Two men were walking through the woods when a large bear walked out into the clearing no
more than 50 feet in front of them.
The first man dropped his backpack and dug out a pair of running shoes, then began to furiously attempt to lace them up as the bear slowly approached them.
The second man looked at him, confused, and said, "What are you doing? Running shoes
aren't going to help. You can't outrun that bear."
"I don't need to," said the first man, "I just need to outrun you."
The First Plane Ride
A farmer and his wife went to a fair.
The farmer, who had never been on an airplane, was fascinated by a stunt plane and asked the pilot how much a ride would cost.
"$50 for 10 minutes" the pilot replied.
"That's too much" said the farmer.
The pilot thought for a while and then said "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 10 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free.
But if you make any sound at all, you'll have to pay me the $50."
The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a thrilling ride.
After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "Congratulations!! You did not make any sound. You are a brave man."
"Maybe so" said the farmer, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out."
The Children of Israel
At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson.
It was now time for the usual question and answer period.
"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "There's something I can't figure out."
"What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
"Well according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right."
"And the Children of Israel beat up the Phillistines, right?"
"Er--right."
"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
"What I want to know is this," demanded Joey. "What were all the grown-ups doing all that time?"
Who is the Surgeon??
One day a Pastor was walking along a busy street, and saw a speeding car knocked a boy down.
Upon reaching the scene of the accident to help, the Pastor saw the boy lying unconscious on the road, and cried out, "My Son !!"
Both the Pastor and the driver of the car rushed the boy to the hospital. The nurses summoned for the Surgeon as the boy had a badly damaged rib.
The Surgeon arrived to perform the dreadful operation of cutting and sewing the ribs back.
Upon seeing the unconscious boy, the Surgeon cried out, "My Son !!"
Who is the Pastor who helped the boy?
Try to solve this riddle before you click below for the answer and I'll give you 10 Points !!
Funny How...!!!
Funny how a $10.00 bill looks so big when you take it to church,
But so small when you take it to the market.
Funny how long are a couple of hours spent in church,
But how short they are when you are watching a movie.
Funny how we get thrilled when a football game goes into extra-time,
But we complain when a sermon is longer than the regular time.
Funny how hard it is to read a chapter in the Bible,
But how easy it is to read a 100 page novel.
Funny how people scramble to get a front seat at any game,
But scramble to get a back seat at church services.
Funny how we cannot fit a gospel meeting into our schedule even with a yearly planner,
But we can schedule for other events at a moment's notice.
Funny how much difficulty we have learning a simple gospel well enough to tell others,
But how simple it is for us to understand and explain gossip about someone.
Funny how everyone wants to go to heaven, provided they don't have to believe, or to think, or to say, or to do anything.
But they want the most competitive bank in quality, services, interest rates and sustained profitability
