I'm a random, chaotic, ever-changing, misfit. Eytan and I just watched "Next Year in Jerusalem", a movie about a gay, Jewish man coming out to his narrow-minded family in Brooklyn. After the movie, Eytan went online to go to gay chat-rooms. I started wishing I was a part of something like that. Not like that specifically, but something that I believed in 100%. Eytan has gay culture, Jewish culture, liberal "do-good"' stuff... What do I have? I have half-hearted phases. Something will spark my interest briefly, but that's it. I've never been a part of something, 100%, for any length of time. I've tried various religions, theatres, sports, business industries, schools, states- and I've never fit in anywhere. I either get shunned or ignored by other people in the "group". I don't know what to do about any of this, and after tonight, I'll go back to my everyday life and probably won't think about this for a while. So I got a little depressed but feel better now.
Last night the dinner party was cancelled (I guess I'll have to wait a little longer to fullfill the dinner party dream), but we all went out to dinner instead. We went to the Rams Head in Annapolis (I DO love Annapolis). I liked his friends, we had, fun, and we called it an early night (had to get up early).
I'm looking forward to my 12 hour work day tomorrow. It should definitely keep my overly busy mind occupied.