My favourite quotes

"I'm nostalgic for conversations that I had yesterday. I've begun reminiscing events before they even occur. I'm reminiscing this right now. I can't go to the bar because I've already looked back at it in my memory and I didn't have a good time."
- from the movie "Kicking and Screaming".

"Every exit is an entry somewhere."
- Tom Stoppard

"I believe everyody in the world should have guns. Citizens should have bazookas and rocket launchers too. I believe that all citizens should have their weapons of choice. However, I also believe that only I should have the ammunition. Because frankly, I wouldn't trust the rest of the goobers with anything more dangerous than string."
- Scott Adams

"Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them."
- Walter Kerr

"Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs."
- Lily Tomlin

"Television - a medium. So called because it is neither rare nor well-done."
- Ernie Kovacs

"Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables us to recognise a mistake when we make it again."
- back of a sugar packet

"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. "
- Douglas Adams

"Maybe this world is another planet's Hell."
- Aldous Huxley

"640K ought to be enough for anybody."
- Bill Gates, 1981

"Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end."
- Igor Stravinsky

"What's another word for thesaurus?"
- Stephen Wright

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
- Terry Pratchett

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
- George Carlin

"I went to a fight the other night and a hockey game broke out."
- Rodney Dangerfield

"Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them."
- Denis Leary

"The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it."
- George Bernard Shaw

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory."
- Ingrid Bergman

"I installed a skylight in my apartment...The people who live above me are furious."
- Stephen Wright

"The cynics are right nine times out of ten."
- H.L. Mencken

"I'd rather die of thirst than drink from the cup of mediocrity."
- Stella Artois advertisement

"A good catchword can obscure analysis for fifty years."
~Wendell L. Willkie

"News organizations have to stop using the phrase: 'We go beyond the headlines.' That's your job, dummy! You don't see American Airlines saying, 'We land our jets on the runway!'"
- Bill Maher

"Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws."
- Plato

"The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true."
- James Branch Cabell

"I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."
- Sir Stephen Henry Roberts

To be continued...

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