November

So yesterday was the first Halloween on a night with a full moon!

And I was thinking about the World Series- at least the D-Backs are giving the Yankees a hard time! Hopefully I'll be seeing "Proof" tonight and after the show, I can pop in some bar to catch the end of the game (and hopefully find that the D-Backs are on top).

I can't believe it's November. Time to think seriously about the holidays (Neil already emailed me to see if I had any ideas for presents). Once again I've failed to find a perfect holiday togetherness situation. One of these years I'm going to either have a significant other or a group of single friends without much family and have a comfortable holiday season. This time of year is always so difficult for me. If I spend Christmas with Neil and Maxine (which seems like a fine idea- thanks Neil), hopefully there will be a pleasant church in College Park I can go to for Christmas Eve. And if I'm there for Christmas, should I stick around for New Years? Jeff mentioned he'll be in Baltimore and asked if I could be there too. Who knows what they will wind up doing. Jon and Michelle will have just had a baby (or will be almost having a baby), so I doubt he'll be doing anything with them on New Years Eve. What are his plans? Maybe he'll do something with Brian and Rebecca or with some other people I don't know. I suppose it sounds like a possibility- to go wherever he goes. The problem is that we like different kinds of places. He likes dancing and crowded clubs. I'd rather spend the night at someone's home doing something that requires low energy. And I DON'T like driving or being in a car on New Years Eve. Unless I find something else (there's a 1% chance of that happening), I suppose it's a New Years in Baltimore for me (ugh). But here's a thought- what if Jeff (and Brian and Rebecca and anyone else they want to bring along) wants to come up here for the night? That would be great! I'll have to ask if he would do that.

Random comment: United should be accomodating and let anyone use their website without being a registered member. Sure, you can log on as a guest, but a lot of people won't even get to that point since they'll see enter your mileage number and password and just give up.

So, I did a lot of walking around yesterday- my toe that I broke a few times started hurting by the end of the day. I got a ticket for "Cabaret" for the 15th (so I can see how Raul Esparza;s doing and to see a better Sally Bowles- Gina Gershon). Then I tried to get to the Walter Kerr Theatre to get a ticket for "Proof", but I thought it was 49th and got a little confused when it wasn't there. Fortunately, I walked by Colony and remembered that I wanted to see if they had the "Reefer Madness" LA recording. They were out of stock (good, I didn't want to pay their ridiculous prices anyway), so now I'm going to have to go down to Footlights to get it (that's my last chance to get it before I leave for Maryland a week from today). Anyway, I went to get some coffee since it was my tired time (around 4:00). I guess it was the coffee, but my mood completely changed a few minutes later. I was practically bouncing around Times Square (an odd feeling). Anyway, I was close to the Richard Rodgers Theatre, so I went to pick up a ticket for "45 Seconds from Broadway" for tomorrow night. Then I walked up to 48th (where the Walter Kerr Theatre was actually located) to get a ticket for "Proof". I had some time before dinner and the show and my feet were tired, so I decided to ride the bus uptown for a bit and then rode it back downtown. Then I went to Cafe Cielo for some of their delicious gnocchi before "Proof". Of course I didn't remember to use the bathroom there, so I walked back down to the Marriott Marquis to use their bathroom (it's really one of the nicest bathrooms in Times Square) and then walked back up to the theatre.

So "Proof" was wonderful again! It's just such an amazing script!! And Jennifer Jason Leigh played the role similarly to Mary Louise Parker (what's with people using their full names?) so she was enjoyable to watch. That character REALLY reminds me of myself (except the being a math genius part)- it's scary. I actually forgot the way the play ended (I saw it in March- not long enough to forget) and got upset with Katherine's sister all over again. I thought to myself, "If this ends on a bad note, I have no hope for my life." Fortunately, David Auburn gave it a nice ending and I left the theatre feeling positive. I heard someone on the street after the show say that the Diamondbacks were leading 2-0 and decided I could take a few minutes to wait by the stage door. I don't know why I've been waiting these days. I just feel like if I'm really moved by a performance, I want to see the actors after. There was only one other girl waiting besides me (an NYU student). Josh Hamilton came out and she got his autograph. After he walked away, she looked in his direction and said, "Oh my god, that's Christian Davis,"- or at least that's what I thought she said. I thought she was talking about Josh Hamilton and that was a name of a character he played in something. She said, "From Sex and the City,"- I knew he was on an episode, so I thought this was the name of his character. Anyway, she asked if I would take a picture of her and Jennifer Jason Leigh when she came out, so I of course said I would. We waited a while. Josh Hamilton was talking with 2 other women- they were making plans to go somewhere. Anyway, Jennifer Jason Leigh finally came out and I took a picture for the girl. Then I used Paula's line and told her that I really admired her work and that the show was excellent tonight. She looked really happy- I guess she was glad that a fan was not asking for her autograph.

Then I ran across the street to Hurley's to watch the end of the game (the D-Backs were still up 2-0). It was hard watching the World Series in public (at least in New York). I had to pretend I was a Yankees fan while still secretly cheering for the Diamondbacks. As it got later and I got more tired, it was hard remembering what I was supposed to do publicly and what I was supposed to do privately:
TV: "Strike 3 and that ends the inning." Me: starts clapping and then realises I'm supposed to be boo-ing, quickly looks around to make sure no one noticed
I sat next to some firefighters from Chicago for part of the game (they left early)- they were nice but boring. In fact, all the firefighters I've met are boring. Is the case with the majority, or is it just the ones I meet? Anyway, so lightning CAN strike twice- damn Yankees! I felt sorry for Kim- he looked miserable. By the 11th inning, I just wanted the Yankees to win already so I could go home- I was getting really tired. I could have kept drinking so I wouldn't be as tired, but I didn't want to kill my stomach.

When I got home, I decided to see about Josh Hamilton and the Sex and the City character. How could this girl remember a character's first AND last name who was only on one show? Well, it wasn't Josh Hamilton she was talking about. She was talking about one of the women with him- KRISTIN Davis (AKA Charlotte). See, if I was good at recognising people, I would have known before I got home and did an Internet search.

After I found out that information, I happened to check my guestbook to see if anyone signed it recently, and sure enough someone did- someone from Croatia! Now there's a country I don't think about every day. What an amazing comment they left too. I have no idea if this person is a man or a woman, but whoever they are certainly had some interesting things to say. It made me start looking at information for visitors to Croatia! I didn't get to sleep until around 4:00 AM.

So I should have gotten out of bed at 9:30 when I first woke up and wasn't too tired, but of course I went back to sleep and then had trouble getting out of bed after that. When will I learn?

Last night's dream- I was staying in a HUGE house in the country. Eytan and Jeff (his boyfriend, not Jeff Bernfeld) and I were staying in one room (there were enough rooms for around 10 people to sleep separately, I don't know why we shared a room). I couldn't sleep so I thought about going to a movie (something with Blood or Shock in the title). Jeff told me that he and Eytan saw it already and said it was terrible. Then I looked outside and there was a foot of snow on the ground. We took a walk outside (I think it was 2:00 AM at this point. Daniel was there too. We were discussing a plan to do something adventurous. I was acting like I was excited, but really I was scared and didn't want to do it (because there was a possibility of running into snakes, plus it was dangerous). Then I was trying to find George to see if he could still give me a ride home. I ran upstairs to his room and the door was wide open and he was getting dressed. Paula and Harvey were across the hall in their room with the door wide open. I wanted to talk to him privately and didn't want Paula and Harvey to see me (no idea why), so I dragged George upstairs to another room. It was a huge open room with nothing in it (it sort of looked like a dance studio but without mirrors and an unfinished floor- why this reminded me of a dance studio, I have no idea). We started to swing dance (guess this is why the room reminded me of a dance studio). Then we looked outside to see if it was still snowing. I told him it looked like a lot more snow was on the ground (I knew there wasn't but I wanted there to be a lot more for some reason) but he showed me footprints (they were from when Jeff, Eytan, and I took a walk at 2:00 AM- now it was 6:00 AM). I didn't tell him I knew when the footprints were from since then he would know that the snow had stopped if we could see footprints from 4 hours earlier. Then there was a pause (if it was a movie, it would have been a blackout and a scene change). Then instead of George in the room with me, it was Andy. We were talking about Brenna or something. Then it was George again. Then I woke up thinking about catching the "waking edge" (guess I didn't quite catch it).

So I didn't do much today. I spent most of the day telling myself what I should be doing rather than actually doing anything. I really wanted to get started on my Anthropology midterm, but I did not (I was going to take the book to Serendipity and have a frozen hot chocolate while finding information to help me answer the questions). Oh well, I at least thought a little bit about it. I'll get it done tomorrow. Starting it is the difficult part.

I got really tired this afternoon again. I've always been tired during afternoons, but I've either not noticed how tired I am each afternoon or I'm becoming more consistent with the hours and the amount of energy I lose. Maybe I should have some caffeine around 3:00, but I don't want that to keep me up late every night. I guess I'll just get used to being tired and hope that I can manage to not do much during those hours (of course, those are the hours for the Math workshop...).

I just turned on PBS for Theatre Talk and caught the end of Charlie Rose- Kevin Kline was on. Rose is not a bad interviewer (better than most, I think). It was nice hearing Kevin Kline talk about "The Seagull" from this summer's Shakespeare in the Park- wish he would have said more about it.

So Theatre Talk is having Judy Craymer (the producers of "Mamma Mia") and Judy Kaye, Karen Mason, and Louise Pitre (the "Mamma Mia" ladies) on. Michael Riedel mentioned that there's no "Fernando" in the show- thank you sir!! I'm not the only one who noticed!

So now I seem to be waking up a bit. Not good. I want to get to bed at a decent hour and get an early start tomorrow. That's the goal anyway. What will happen? I'll find out soon enough.

I'm being bad about my midterm. I tried to go to Serendipity today, like I wanted to do yesterday, to read my Anthropology book and try to find information to help me answer the questions. I went and it had too long a wait (about 45 minutes), so I went to a "diner" (it was just a crappy coffee shop) instead and had a bagel. I didn't find too much information in the book to answer the questions, but I did see a few relevant sentences. I'll search for a little information tonight when I get home from the show and watching the end of Game 6, and I'll write up the answers tomorrow while watching football.

Tonight is "45 Seconds to Broadway" but first dinner at Cafe Edison- AKA The Tea Room (where the show takes place). Then I'll find some random bar where I can watch the end of the game. Maybe I'll get better at publicly cheering for the Yankees and secretly cheering for the Diamondbacks.

"Holy Cow!" This was my first reaction to seeing the final score of the Virginia Tech/Pittsburgh game (38-7). I had a hunch Syracuse would upset them last week, but I certainly did not predict this. I don't know anything about Pittsburgh's team, but that's because they are an unranked team- meaning they should not have won, and they certainly should not have won by that much. I really didn't think Tech had a good team this year when I was looking at their situation at the beginning of the season, but then they kept winning their games- big wins- and I figured they had a better team than I originally thought.

When I was walking by the Winter Garden, I saw one of the women from "Mamma Mia". I'm sure I only recognised her since I saw her on Theatre Talk the previous night, but still- maybe I'm getting better at recognising people. That would be nice.

So "45 Seconds" was funny. It's another Neil Simon show that I'm glad I saw but don't really want to see again. The set was fabulous! It was the inside of Cafe Edison with the front door on the upstage wall. You could see outside the glass door onto the street with construction walls and the theatre posters on them and at the beginning of each scene, there was a taxi driving by (what a neat touch). I loved all the theatre references- I think that was my favourite part about the show.

Once again, I got stuck next to an obnoxious man- I'm serious about implementing those tests- all the obnoxious theatregoers can sit together at the back of the mezzanine. This guy was a know-it-all who knew nothing. First, he complained loudly about the uncomfortable seats. He recognised one woman's picture in the playbill (someone from the TV show, Wings). When the stars came onstage, everyone applauded. When this woman came onstage, everyone remained quiet except this guy who clapped and cheered and yelled, "Yea Fay!" (I guess her character's name from Wings). When he was reading the playbill before the show, he asked the woman next to him where the page was that talked about what the show was about. Then he looked at the pictures of the cast some more and said several looked familiar. He said one guy looked familiar and then looked at his bio and decided he recognised him from Law & Order. Obviously this guy doesn't realise that almost every single actor in New York can claim to have been on Law & Order. This guy didn't remember the actor from the one episode he was on. Then he thought that Marion Seldes looked familiar, so he looked at her bio and when he saw that she didn't have any film or TV credits listed shut up since he obviously didn't recognise her from another play. Moron. He also talked several times during the show. He had a little pathetic laugh that he used when he saw that everyone else was laughing. Then he had a big laugh that he used when no one else was laughing. He also saw the article in the playbill on "Noises Off" and told the woman next to him that it was the show that he was taking his office to see. I wanted to ask him when that was, and if it was on the 17th, I would have to go back to the box office to see if I could exchange my ticket for another night. But I didn't ask- I didn't want to get in a conversation with him.

After the show, I stopped by Hurley's to watch the end of the game. I walked in and it was empty and quiet. I knew something was wrong. I looked at the score and figured my contacts were not letting me see correctly and the score was really 5-0, not 15-0. I told the guy sitting near the door that I had just gotten out of a show and asked him how that happened. He took it VERY seriously- when I asked what happened told me in a calm/angry/upset tone that, "it's 15 to nothing, they kicked Pettite out of the game early, they scored a few runs early on and just kept scoring and didn't let the Yankees do anything." So I went home. I wasn't going to stay at a bar in New York and sit with depressed people, when I myself was excited. I do feel bad for New Yorkrers. Even Mets fans are rooting for the Yankees. They do need something positive to get excited about in all this turmoil. But I'm still rooting for the D-Backs tonight!

Another random World Series comment: When Yankees win it's always at the last minute and they only win by 1 run (2-1, 4-3, 3-2). When the Diamondbacks win, they win by a lot (9--1, 4-0, 15-2).

So I managed to wake up semi-early this morning and work on my midterm. As usual, once I got started, it didn't take that long and was not as torturous as I always anticipate it being. The real torture is getting started. I'm basically finished. I just need to write the last one and I know what I'm going to write and it will be short. We have to come up with a hypotheis, show how it can be tested and potentially falsified, and then show how it relates to a theory. I'm going to have my hypothesis be that left-handed pitchers win more games than right-handed pitchers. I can test it by looking at stats from past games which will either prove or disprove the hypothesis. My theory will be that batters don't hit as well against left-handed pitchers because there are fewer of them and therefore have less practice hitting their pitches.

Before I write it, I will take a shower, order some dinner, and check football scores. I'll probably write up my hypothesis during commercials of Game 7.

I'm excited for this game! I finished my midterm, had a good dinner (Udon and sushi rice), and am ready to watch Game 7.

I have plans for New Years. Well, not plans exactly, but at least I know where I'll be. Since I have to be in Maryland on Jan. 2 for Abby's first birthday party, I'll hang out in Baltimore for New Years with Jeff. He said it would probably be something low-key- maybe go to Jon and Michelle's and see their new baby or something. Low-key sounds good to me!

I have a bad feeling Schilling is going to get tired here in the 5th inning and the Yankees might score. So far so good though- two outs and counting... (of course now that I said that, the Yankees will get a 2 run home run or something).

Yea! 3 outs! Go D-Backs!

Bob Brenly looks like an auto mechanic.

Uh-oh, it's tied 1-1 now and only one out. I think they should bring Johnson in- he can make sure the Yankees won't score anymore.

Go Finley! Kept it tied 1-1! He's really been great this series!

An interesting little fact found at CBS Sportsline: The starters in the last World Series Game 7, Jaret Wright and Al Leiter, didn't have 20 wins combined in 1997. Both Curt Schilling and Roger Clemens were 20-game winners this season.

Marcell never called me back again this week, and I was going to call her today. I forgot. Well, I'm not going to call her now. I seem to only remember to call her at night when she's probably sleeping.

Damn Yankees!! 2-1, top of the 8th. And it looks like it's pouring there. Why haven't they said anything and why does it look like no one notices? And did I see Giuliani in the stands? I couldn't have, could I? Shouldn't he be at home dealing with the firefighters' protests?

Uh-oh, it's 2-1 with Rivera pitching now. I have a bad feeling about this... It's damn hard to get past Rivera! He truly is amazing to watch!

At least I won't have to see these United commercials all the time anymore.

Okay- hit by pitch. Now it's up to Gonzalez. Hey Gonzalez, remember all those home runs you hit this season? Well, you don't even have to do that. Just hit it far enough to send Miller (or whoever is on third) home.

WOW!!!!!!! The Diamondbacks are World Series Champions!!!!!!! I can't believe it!!!!! Sorry Yankees- it was time for you to lose.

Now I do feel bad for New Yorkers right now, who have all become Yankees fans in the past few weeks. It would have been something to cheer about in all the mess. I also don't know how the Diamondbacks even made it to the World Series, let alone won it. But right now I DON'T CARE! My little Diamondbacks beat the big gad Yankees!!!

And it was Giuliani I saw in the stands.

And yea Diamondbacks!!

Co-MVPs (Schilling & Johnson)- how fitting! That's perfect!

And now I must calm down enough so I'll be tired enough to go to sleep soon and then get back to the daily grind tomorrow morning.

I got to take another National poll today on current events. I love being included. I wish I could be included in more of these.

I was thinking about DC/Baltimore/Virginia traffic today and would love to get on a radio station and give this report:
There's an accident causing a delay at the Wilson Parking Lot, Capital Construction backed up to the Traffic Spur, backups at both the Ft. McHenry and the Harbor Parking Lots...

So tomorrow I have to vote. I'm 99% sure I'll vote for Bloomburg. I'd rather have Bloomburg than Green, so even though I'd love to vote Libertarian, I think that would be pointless right now. I just think Bloomburg is better for business, and our economy needs that right now. I need to read up on the candidates for other offices and the proposals too. Guess I'll do that tomorrow morning when my brain will be more functional than it is now (I'm pretty tired tonight- although this song- "Every You, Every Me"- is waking me up a little- it's always such a great song to listen to while driving).

I also am going to go food shopping tomorrow.

Not much else to say today.

I let my CD player pick a CD this morning, and it picked REM's- "Out of Time". It must be in tune (pun intended) with last night's dream- Steffani and I used to listen to this one often.

Amazon likes redesigning their site (or at least the main page).

While I really don't want to spend Christmas with anyone besides Neil, Maxine, and Abby, I also want to stay in New York for the holidays. I have a feeling I'll be upset if I'm anywhere else. Unfortunately, this is not really an option unless I want to spend the holiday season alone. I did that one year ('95) and was very lonely (although I did wind up getting together with Jeff and Eytan at night on the 25th). I guess if I did stay here, I could pick a church to go to on Christmas Eve and then walk around the city, looking for things to do on Christmas day and stay home and watch movies or something. It doesn't sound absolutely horrible, but if I did get lonely, there's nothing I could do about that besides call people on the phone. I'm 95% sure I'll go down to College Park, but there's a small part of me that really would like to stay home and figure something out.

In a little bit, I will go vote and then head down to Footlights to pick up "Reefer Madness", and then stop by the grocery store on the way home. I was thinking about going to see "An Adult Evening of Shel Silverstein" tonight, but I think staying home and relaxing sounds like a better idea. I'll be running around enough the rest of the week and the weekend.

Read this! It's a beautiful letter to New York.

I voted. There was a guy behind me who lives in my building (I heard him give the woman his address)- should have introduced myself, but I didn't. Then I went to Barnes and Noble and had a pretzel and iced tea while reading one of two guide books for Maryland/DC/Deleware (I can't believe there aren't more books on this area- they had 2 guide books for Baltimore and two for Maryland/Deleware and that was it). I went down to Footlights and although they didn't have "Reefer Madness" in stock (popular item, I guess), I did manage to find a used copy of "Chess"- the London concept album (I've owned this twice so far, but both times the tapes broke- or maybe it broke one time and the other time I just lost it- either way, I'm happy to have it again and just in time for my drive). Then I went down to Rivington St. to visit Economy Candy since I read that they have those fruit slices that I like (they didn't have a good selection though, so I'll have to stop by The Candy Box in Catonsville this weekend since they have a variety of flavours). Then I went food shopping and came home.

Now I'm nervously waiting for the election results.

I meant to mention this before, but I keep forgetting. When I submitted my last transfer credit evaluation to Hunter, I actually got my updated transcript in the mail about a week later. Well, that one was the only updated transfer credit, the rest of them are still marked "see department". UGH! Now I have to take the copies of all the other ones (I'm SO lucky I kept them!!!!!) back to the admissions office and ask why they didn't add those onto my transcript. Hopefully they can get it done within a week like they did with the last one I just gave them. Then I can take my correctly updated transcript to an advisor and see what they suggest I take in upcoming semesters besides Math and Science. I know I need at least 1 more (I think it might be 2 more) pluralism and diversity requirements, and I want to see if there's a way to tie those with psych courses. It sure would be nice to take a class in my major (haven't done that since... um, I think it was the Spring semester of '99.

So I'm 99% positive I'll drive to Maryland on Friday. It doesn't look like it will be raining (or if it does, it'll just be a few showers), and I trust my driving and even everyone else's driving over a possible crazy person derailing the train or something. Between all the Greyhound incidents and the United security incident at O'Hare, I don't trust taking a train. What if an Amtrak incident is next? I know that's being paranoid, but as long as I have another option for transportation, I'm going to take it.

Now I'm going to read some of my music book since she mentioned that there will be a lot of reading this part of the semester and there are only 11 classes left. I'm in an acedemic mood right now. Every time I look at my transcript and see how far I've come, it gets me in the mood to continue with my 4.0 (even at this poor systematic, bureaucratic, red-taped school). The school experience is always torturous every semester, but looking at the credits accumulated and the grades (although my grades from my other schools don't count at Hunter- only their grades count for some reason) makes me feel good. And even if my stupid school doesn't want to count my grades from previous schools, at least I know for myself that I had a 2.75 at NYU and a 4.0 at Scottsdale- which, including my 4.0 from Hunter, makes my average GPA a 3.6.

I'm sure my Math test isn't graded yet, so I'm not going to school until later this evening. I do want to get there a little bit before my first class so I can go to the admissions office and re-give them my transfer credit evaluations and I also want to print out the Man's Life Not Raising Hogs thing for my Anthropology teacher. Once again, I find myself in a class discussing government subsidising farmers. Anyway, I think he'll appreciate it. I wonder if Joel liked it (I gave it to him last semester when we were discussing the same thing in the Urban Affairs class). Oh, how I would love to ask him. But that would require getting in touch with him- something I just can't do. I emailed him twice and he never responded. That means it's time for me to give up and move on. And I have. I only think about him once in a while and I don't dwell on it. I'm really an out-of-sight-out-of-mind type person.

I cancelled my train reservation. I will be driving down to Maryland on Friday and returning on Sunday. I'd like to leave early on Sunday so I don't have to drive into the city at night. I really wish I had my night vision again- it's very limiting not to have it. I really think I'm way too young to not be able to see at night.

I heard from an old friend last night- Jim. He found my website and signed the guestbook. How cool- I like hearing from old friends and it's always nice to hear that they're doing well. Jim's still living in San Francisco- what a great city.

Tomorrow I'm going to see "Music Man". I might see if there are any movies I want to see in the area beforehand. If not, I will go to Barnes and Noble and read before the show. But before I leave the apartment, I will pack for the weekend so I won't have to do it late Thursday night and the less to do Friday morning, the better. And if Robert Sean Leonard doesn't look like he's in too much of a rush to get home after the show, I will ask him what he enjoys about riding a bike on the streets of Manhattan. And I will try to get in bed as soon as I get home so I fall asleep before 4:00 and can wake up early Friday morning and get over Avis.

Neil reminded me it's time for college basketball. I hadn't read about it anywhere and completely forgot that it's that time of year. So Maryland game tonight at the Garden- wish I could go. They're ranked #2 which means they'll be down to #22 in no time. They just don't do well when they're ranked so high. I don't know anything about their team this year. Should read up on that soon.

I'm getting tired of Amazon redesigning their main page.

So last night the chair of the Anthropology department came to our class. He told us that he got an email from someone in our class telling him about the chaotic situation of this semester. Then he said that our instructor resigned the day before and someone else will be teaching the rest of the semester starting Monday. Supposedly when the guy arranged for substitutes, he did it on his own rather than through the department. Supposedly the department didn't know anything about what was going on until he got the email from someone in our class. Our midterms will problably be given to the new guy to grade. Our previous grades will be transfered to the new guy. Lovely. This guy better be a reasonable person. He's going to have a lot to deal with from our VERY verbal class. I'm sure the entire class on Monday will involve people complaining about our last instructor, complaining about what our grades will now be like, and asking him a trillion questions about his teaching methods and his grading methods. The people in the class spent all of the class yesterday yelling about all kinds of things, including asking who sent the email so they can yell at her. So what will happen for the rest of the semester? We shall see...

Today I'm making it a Robert Sean Leonard day. This afternoon I'm going to see "Tape" and then at night is "Music Man". But first I need to finish up a few things. I'm in the middle of 3 things right now- packing, working, and writing this entry. Soon I will be in the middle of 2 things- working and packing.

So, Thursday I went to see "Tape". Wow! The script should have been edited as the beginning was a little slow and repetative, but what an interesting film. And I loved Robert Sean Leonard's character. Then "Music Man" was great as usual. No matter how many times I see it, it never loses the magic. I don't care too much for the new Winthrop and the new dancers are certainly not as good as the originals, but it's still a great production. I did wait around after the show to ask RSL about his preference for bike riding. He told me that he doesn't ride much anymore but prefers it to taking a cab. He rides up the Hudson path so it's not like he rides through midtown and until recently, you could ride all the way to 52nd so he didn't ride through midtown at all. Well, that certainly makes more sense. I'm glad I asked. When he talks to you, he gets really close- kind of in-your-face. If I didn't trust him (although, why do I trust him? I don't know him), it would make me uncomfortable.

For the past few weeks, I've had Nutcracker songs in my head. I actually thought seriously about seeing it this year... then the voice of reason came back and said, "Are you crazy?!?"- I've just really been in the Christmas spirit this year and it sort of sounds like a good idea.

So Friday I drove down to Maryland. I made good time! It took a little too much time to get from 54th & 6th to 55th & 8th, but after that there was no traffic. Although, even though there were more cars on the turnpike than on 95 in Delaware and Maryland, the traffic was worse in Delaware and Maryland (those people CAN'T DRIVE!!!) Depsite the idiot drivers, I made such good time, I decided to stop in Towson for an hour since I had time before rush hour (although there is just a lot of traffic in the Baltimore/Washington area at all hours). Eytan had a cold so he couldn't come out with me that night :(

Anyway, I enjoyed the ride in general. I was hyper for most of it. The trip was a musical delight. On the way down I listened to "Music Man", "By Jeeves", and Tull's "Minstrel in the Gallery", and on the way back, I listened to "Free to Be You and Me", "Tick, Tick... Boom!", Matchbox 20's "Mad Season" (the only example of an album where I like the songs they play on the radio better than the rest of the album) and "Urinetown" (which I picked up at a store in College Park of all places).

So I got down to College Park, hung out with Neil and Abby for a bit while waiting for Maxine to get back from the dentist. Abby can now say "Ba-bye"! Who knows? Maybe by the time she's up here for Thanksgiving, she can tell me a bedtime story.

Then went back to Baltimore for Eric's show. The parking lot in Fells Point is back so I paid my $7.00 (definitely worth it). Then I did a smart thing. I got there early and wanted to find somewhere to have a few drinks before I had to go to the Horse You Came in On (I hate that dive). Well, I walked by the Admiral Fell Inn and stopped in to see if they had a bar. They did! A nice quiet bar with good music and good drinks! There were 3 women (in their 60's) talking about authors when I walked in. They were trying to sound like they were above the average idiot- but it wasn't working. They were complaining about John Grisham and Danielle Steele but said that there weren't any good new authors out there. That's simply not true- you just don't know where to find them. They had just taken the ghost tour (they were locals which I thought was impressive- locals doing a tourist activity in Baltimore- I guess it was because most US cities are trying to get locals to do tourist things to make up for the lack of tourists) and were talking about personal stories involving ghosts. The woman next to me and I started talking and wound up talking a great deal. I don't even remember what we were talking about besides where we were on September 11.

So I got to the Horse You Came in On around 11:00 and Eric was just about to take a break. I said hello to him and then started talking to an older woman at the bar- Bersy. She used to go hear Once Hush a lot since she was friends with a former member's mother. I couldn't really hear her over the music, but we talked for a while. I honestly have no idea what happened to the time. Like I said, I got there at 11:00. I talked to Betsy for a little while (maybe 30-40 minutes). Then we went closer to the band and listened to one song. Then I talked to Alan (the former Once Hush keyboardist) for a few minutes (I was surprised he remembered me). Then it was last call and they played 2 more songs. So what was 3 hours felt like an hour. I was also pretty drunk even though I only had 2 glasses of wine at the Admiral Fell Inn and a few Bailey's at the Horse. The effects of alcohol are completely random for me. There is no pattern at all which is frustrating at times.

Anyway, a bunch of people were standing outside the bar and I started talking to one of the women. She was up from Virginia with her husband and staying with her sister who lived in Baltimore. Somehow I wound up going to get some pizza with them. I appreciated having the company for a while since I wasn't able to drive back right away. We hung out for an hour and then they took a cab and dropped me off at my car on their way home. I got back to College Park around 4:00 and was able to get to sleep right away!

Saturday I had to wake up early since they were having people come look at the room I was staying in (they're looking into expanding the house). I DEFINITELY felt the effects of alcohol in the morning. I wasn't sick, I didn't have a headache, but I was dehydrated and dizzy for the first few minutes of being awake. I didn't do much Saturday during the day. I hung out at the house, went to check out the new English Tea House (cute but no atmosphere- but I'm happy that there is now a little variety in College Park), and then went to Pizza Hut to get a personal pizza for Neil and I to split (and stopped by the CD store while I was waiting). It was a beautiful day. I wanted to take a walk but it wasn't the right atmopshere. I love college towns, but not College Park, MD. I don't like the population. And I didn't want to walk around by myself.

That evening I went to Catonsville. I tried to get gas at the Aamoco in College Park, but all 6 pumps were out of regular gas- how irritating. Fortunately, I could wait until I got to Catonsville. So I got to Catonsville, got gas, went to the Candy Box to get fruit slices (yum), and then went to Jennings for a few drinks and watched the end of the exciting Florida State game where they actually lost at home for the first time since joining the ACC in 1992!!!!!

Then I went to see "Noises Off". Maria (from "Hair", School for the Arts, Maryland Ballet...) was there- what a surprise! She still looks great! She's now divorced (we all knew, including herself, that the marriage wouldn't last long) and Abby (her daugter) is now 4. The show was fair. I mentioned before that I didn't think it mattered who was in the cast because the script is so fantastic. Not true. It was definitely weak because of the cast members. For several of them, it was their first show. Joe (from "Hair") directed it and played Lloyd, the director, as well. A few things they did came out funny- some line delivery and much of the physical comedy. The set was great (for community theatre)! I'm glad I went. I wish other familiar faces were there (Paul, Sue, Robin...), but ya can't have it all. Maybe if I'm in town next time they're doing a show, I should show up on their opening night- maybe there will be more familiar faces then. Maria and I exchanged email addresses. It would be nice to keep in touch with her. I didn't feel like going out with all of them after the show, so I told them I had a long ride the next day (which was true) and headed back to College Park.

I paged Jon since he went to the Maryland football game that night and I thought if he was still down there, we could grab a drink or something. Well, he didn't have his pager with him and didn't get my page until he got home- oh well. It turned out that I wouldn't have wanted to go out in College Park anyway. My goodness!!!! I knew I wasn't fond of College Park- especially on a weekend night, but I'm REALLY not fond of it during football season (now that they're good)!!! There were people EVERYWHERE! Streets were blocked off, cops were everywhere but not to help with traffic, kids were running across the streets all over the place... what a mess! There were camera news crews and cops blocking off a section for them. I was getting yelled at by students and cops. The bars had lines a block long. There aren't enough bars in College Park. Students are going to go out and drink no matter what. The only thing a shortage of bars does is cause more chaos at the few bars available. They are too crowded and the students spill out onto the sidewalks and streets when they can't get in the bars. What an obnoxious scene! I would hate living there. I wouldn't go out in that mess, so I guess I would be renting a lot of movies.

I didn't have as much energy for the drive home as I did for the ride down. There was a little more traffic so it was more exhausting- constantly checking to make sure no one was going to change lanes and run into you. There was a slight backup at the tunnel, but it wasn't too bad. The irritating situation came after I got into Manhattan. I drove up 10th to 54th to return the car but 54th was blocked off. I thought it was maybe for the UN thing (since the woman at Avis told me they would be blocking off the streets at 6:00), but it was only 2:00, so I couldn't believe they would have started that early. I got stubborn. I drove down 9th to 52nd, went back up 8th to 54th and saw what the problem was. A fire. I don't know exactly what was going on- I just wanted to get out of there. Fortunately it wasn't causing traffic problems. I went over on 53rd and pulled over to call Avis to see if I could drop off the car at another location. I was told a close location was on 76th @ Broadway. I drove up 10th and when I got to 72nd, I realised that after I turned onto 77th, I would have to turn down Broadway and hope that the location was after Broadway going east and not before (that would have been obnoxious to have to go around more blocks- I'd already been driving around too much). Fortunately, I turned down Broadway and there was the Avis. I returned the car and proceeded to look for a cab. There were very few and every time I saw an available cab (there was 1 every 5 minutes), someone else got it before me since I was moving too slowly with all my baggage. Then I saw that I was near the theatre where "The Shape of Things" is playing, so I ran across the street to get a ticket for the week after next. Then I tried again to wait for a cab and I saw one. The light was about to change and he was on a cell phone so he wasn't paying attention to me. I ran and knocked on his window as the light turned green and cars were flying by me. He managed to pull over and I got in. At Park and 59th, traffic started crawling. He told me that the traffic was stopped and I should get out. I said okay. Then he said, "Oh, we're only at 59th, I have to go down to 57th." I said okay. We got to 57th and they weren't letting cars turn left. So he pulled over to let me out. I was so out of it and tired and stupid about the 59th Street mix-up thing and he obviously thought I was a visitor since he told me which direction to walk in. 57th Street had cones in several lanes, but as soon as I got out of the cab, cars were allowed to turn left again- figures. By the time I walked into my building, I was exhausted. It took 2 hours to get from 42nd & 10th to my apartment. I didn't mind the driving up and down on city streets, I minded the cab ordeal. That was tiring.

So now I'm home and relaxing with a little Oakland/Seattle football. I don't watch football every week. I watch a few minutes of a few games every season. But for some reason, every time I sit down to watch more than a few minutes of a game, it's Oakland/Seattle. It would be nice if one of these times when I want to watch more than a few minutes of a game it would be a game where New England is playing.

Marcell called this evening. She's sounding much better- that's good to hear!

Oh, before I stop this entry, I must write about Neil's dream that he had last night. But first, a little background. On Friday, Neil and I were talking about "Music Man" and I told him that I was talking to RSL after the show. We were talking about Paula's little crush. Anyway, he had a dream that there was an auction going on, but he wasn't there. He called Paula to see how it went and she was crying. He asked what was wrong and she told him that she didn't want to explain over the phone and wanted him to come see her. He did and she told him that both she and Harvey had affairs- Paula with Robert Sean Leonard and Harvey with a client. Harvey's client had a lot in an auction that wasn't doing well, so she offered him $40,000 if he would sleep with her. So Paula slept with RSL. Then Harvey wanted to get the money out of the hotel before the press showed up, so he put the money in a bunch of small bags and had people take it out of the hotel. Neil got a bag and couldn't find his way out of the hotel. I forget if something else happened before he woke up, but if something did, it wasn't much- that was basically the end of the dream. How funny.

I'm just glad I didn't wait until today to come home. They've closed the bridges and tunnels, and I'd be stuck in Jersey or something.

So 57th Street is quiet. There are cones up in the middle of the street like there were last night. I was assuming those were for UN vehicles to drive down the middle of the street. I guess it's still for that, but maybe it's for emergency vehicles as well. Is UN stuff still going on? Was there a Veterans Day parade yesterday or is it today? I don't know what's going on in the city.

I'm going to reserve a car and book a train for Christmas now. I should have done this before- everyone's going to be taking the train or renting cars this holiday season. I'm hoping that since I don't have to leave the day before Christmas Eve or the day after New Years Day, there will be available cars and trains.

Wish I didn't have to go to school today. I'm sure some people won't be going (a lot of people live in the neighbourhoods around the crash site), but it's an important day for me to go. I need to find out if I passed the Math test (if not, I need to re-take it and if I did, I need to move on with the workshop) and today is the first day with the new Anthropology instructor (I need to see what to expect for the rest of the semester). Although... I could try to do the Math workshop tomorrow and I can find out about the Anthropology instructor on Wednesday from other people in the class... I'll think about it a little more and make my decision in an hour or so.

And I'll have to do something about Christmas travel later when I have more time. I looked into two car rental companies and it's WAY too expensive. And Amtrak's reservation system isn't working right now.

And speaking of websites being down, Hunter's website is giving me problems. I was checking the calendar to see if we're off today (I'm pretty sure the school is open, but I thought maybe because it's government's day of celebrating Veterans Day that the city school would be closed). The page with the calendar is down. Then I decided to see if the spring schedule is online yet. The page with the schedule is down. They really have a crappy site.

Then in anthropology we had our new instructor. I don't know if it was because of the morning's events (with the plane crash), but the class wasn't as obnoxious as I expected them to be. The new guy seems okay, I guess. He told us some bullshit story about how our old instructor had to resign since he needed to stay home in the evenings with a sick relative. He also said the old instructor would be grading our midterms. I don't understand why he would do that since he's no longer employed by the college, but we'll see. I have no idea how he grades or what kind of final to expect from the new guy. He seems nice, but how reasonable will he be? Guess I'll find out after it's too late to do anything about it. I really don't care anymore at this point. All I can do is pay attention in class (always do), read the book (always do), and that's about it.

So last night when I got home, I was looking at the college catalogue to see what exactly I had left to take. I need a year of science, 3 math classes (including statistics), and 2 pluralism and diversity classes. Well, if I pass the workshop (big if), I can take Math 101 in the spring. If I don't pass, I can't take Math 101 in the spring. For science, the only options are geology, chemistry, or physics. Well, the last two I can't do since I don't have the math prerequisites (not that I'd want to anyway), so that leaves geology. Of course the first semester of that is only offered in the fall. So what can I take in the spring? Not much. Not much that counts anyway. They'll just be credits. There aren't any courses offered from group 2 of the pluralism and diversity, but there is 1 from group 3- Psychology of Human Sexuality. So I could take that in the spring- hey a class that counts as a requirement that's in my major that I'm allowed to take without math prerequisites! Then I need to find a minor. I need to talk to someone in the Psychology department for that since they tell you what you're allowed to pick. So Wednesday I'll get to school early and see if someone is available to talk to in the department besides that sour woman or the other one who refuses to talk to you (just hands you paper and tells you to leave). Or better yet, I'll go to the advisement office and refuse to leave until I talk to someone (and they can help me with my minor questions and my math questions). I'll have to get there around 1:00 so I'll have 2 hours to try to get someone to answer my questions. Then I'll be nice and upset and frustrated by 3:00 in time to take the math test for the 3rd time. Oh well. Maybe by the time I graduate I'll be used to the chaotic, nasty, unhelpful situation at this school.

S0... I really don't think this crash was an accident. Although, even if it was, that still should not make the public feel comfortable about flying. They're saying over and over about how faulty those engines are. Great! How many other planes are like that? I really am not comfortable flying right now. Fortunately, I don't have to. I do need to stop thinking about plane crashes though. It's upsetting and exhausting.

I woke up this morning singing "Look to the Sky" from "Urinetown". This is what was in my head after a dream about trying to smoke a joint the size of a cigar. I don't remember anything else about the dream except that I was at a Depeche Mode concert in New York. I got there by climbing over the roofs of buildings and watched the concert from a roof. Matt and Brie were there. After the show, I was one of a few people left. Everyone thought it was over and I was sure there would be an encore. That's when I wound up trying to smoke a HUGE joint that someone gave me. I eventually left. I got down off the roof and tried to figure out how to get home. I asked someone where we were and he just asked how I got there. I told him I climbed on roofs so I didn't know which streets were around. It turned out we were somewhere near Little Italy. I got on a bus with Paula and I think at that point we were in Vegas or trying to get to Vegas. That's all I remember.

I'm leaning more in the direction of spending Christmas in Maryland- I'll be with family (which is an important part of a holiday), I can walk around Ellicott City, spend some time with friends...

Every day I have such a strong winter/Christmas feeling. I can't explain or describe it. I just feel bittersweet, melancholy, warm, and nostalgic (sometimes nostalgic for things that never happened). It's a good feeling. Now if only I had someone to share it with.

I'm exhausted from trying to figure things out today. I tried to think about what to do about Thanksgiving dinner. I'm still not sure what to do. Paula suggested going to a restaurant, so I called Neil and Maxine and Maxine wants to bring stuff here. That's fine with me- as long as it can get organised in my closet-sized kitchen. I've gotten to the point where I just can't think about it anymore. I'm not coming up with any ideas and it's just exhausting. I don't have any serving utensils or bowls or trays, I don't have enough chairs so some people will have to sit on the couch (I don't mind doing that), there is no counter space in the kitchen to use, I'm a lousy cook anyway... Whatever everyone wants to do is fine with me. And I thought about asking Marcell if she wants to join us. I don't know what she does for Thanksgiving, but I thought it would be a good idea to ask if she'd like to come here. Then I was trying to check about rental cars from Newark since it was too expensive from Manhattan. It was just as bad in Newark. Now I'm thinking about looking into Rent-A-Wreck. I know that when I rented from them in Maryland, I couldn't take the car out of the state, but maybe it will be different at the location up here. There are 4 locations in Brooklyn, so I'll have to call one and ask which location is the most convenient to the tunnel (Lincoln Tunnel, Holland Tunnel still closed). I guess I'll call them on Thursday.

Also on Thursday I was thinking about going down to The New School. I know it's expensive, I know it's filled with psuedo-intellectual hippy students, but I thought it can't hurt to check into their programme and ask them some questions about the psychology degree. I'm just worried that grad schools won't accept a degree from The New School, but I don't know how to find that out. I can ask the people at The New School (if I can even find someone to talk to who knows what they're doing), but they will tell me that it will be no problem. But like I said, it can't hurt to just go down there and check things out. I'd rather not have to transfer again, but if I run into more problems tomorrow, I'm going to think transfering sounds better than dealing with chaos for the next 3+ years.

I don't know what I'm talking about really. I'm tired and have 50 thoughts swimming around in my head. I should make a to-do list, but I shouldn't do it now. I should do it when I'm refreshed (which will be on Friday). So I'll just make a mini to-do list for things from now until Friday.
Tonight: mail and clean up apartment
Tomorrow: talk to advisor, take Math test, classes
Thursday: go to New School, call Rent-A-Wreck, "Cabaret"
Friday: make to-do list, work, go out with Seth and Charles

Now that I wrote that last thing for Friday, it made me realise that I haven't written anything about that. Rebecca has a friend, Seth, who lives in Boston. He has a friend, Charles, who lives here. Rebecca thought it would be a good idea for me to meet Charles (she doesn't understand why I don't have more friends). So Charles and I have been emailing for a week or two. I don't know much, but from what I can tell, he's wacky, intelligent, and has likes independent films. So Seth is in New York this week for work and I thought it would be a good idea for us all to get together. The more the merrier (and I don't have to be stuck with one person trying to make conversation- sounds too much like a date). So we're probably going to do dinner and a movie on Friday.

And now it's time for me to clean up this messy place.

I'm still a bit rattled from the dream. So I will not listen to the last song on this album ("Crossing Over"- a song about dying that makes me cry almost every time I listen to it- I try not to listen to it too often).

So today I'm going to try once again to talk to an advisor. I really hope I make a little progress. Even a little progress will be better than the same run-around I've been getting the entire time I've been attending this school.

Last night I randomly found a website by someone with a familiar name- Judy Grunburger. There was a girl in my class when I was around 5 with this name. I decided to email her to see if she was the same girl (how many people have this name?) and indeed it was. I barely knew this girl- the only thing I knew was that she was very smart (always at the highest level of reading and stuff), but it's still interesting to see what she's up to now.

I called and got a ticket for "Swimming to Cambodia" on Saturday night. Sure, I've seen it on video many, many times- but to see him in person is so incredible. I know I'll look forward to it on Saturday, but right now, after the dream I had, I can't really get excited about anything. I hope my mood shifts before I get to school.

So yesterday was another day of finding old friends online. I found a website- Dance Theatre Workshop- a company that supports independent artists. Well, I was looking at the staff page and came across an old friend from the Sudbrook Arts Centre- Meital. I finally had a small world incident! We emailed a few times yesterday, and I'm hoping to stay in touch- maybe meet for coffee or something soon. I don't think I've seen her in at least 10 years. It will be fun to catch up.

Yesterday I managed to see an advisor at school. I had to wait for over an hour since they only had 1 real advisor and 1 woman who was in her first day of training. Of course I got to see the woman in training, and she had to run and ask the other woman what to do at every question I asked. But I did find out that I need two more pluralism and diversity requirements, not one. As for my minor, she said I can pick anything, but I think I'd better check with the psych department since that's not what they made it sound like the last time I checked. And she told me that I should go to the Math department to get them to put a release on my record so I can register for Math 101 before finishing the workshop. Well, I went to the Math department and the woman told me she absolutely could not do that. If it was a class, she could, but since it was the workshop, she couldn't. So, if I don't finish and pass the workshop by December 10 (registration date), I won't be taking Math in the spring. So instead, I can take the two pluralism and diversity requirements and possibly Theatre 101 if I make Theatre my minor. I don't have any subjects that I've taken a lot of classes in that I could make my minor so I might as well (if it's okay with the Psychology department) make theatre my minor since I should enjoy those classes more than any others. I'll check with the Psychology department next week about that. I have a feeling they'll tell me not to make theatre my minor, but if they don't say it's forbidden, I'm going to do it. I could decide that drama therapy is the career path I want to take...

As for the Math workshop, I took the test for the 3rd time. I could have gotten a 70% or an 80%, but it's also possible that I got a 50% or a 60%. I've done the unit, I've gone over tests with a tutor, I've done practice problems, but every time I take the test, the problems are a little different and I have trouble with them. So maybe I'll get lucky but I probably won't. It doesn't seem to matter now though. It's almost impossible for me to finish the workshop by December 10 and it's basically completely impossible for me to pass the final by then, so I might as well take my time with it. I'll finish the workshop by the end of the semester and then take the final a few times (since I know I won't pass it the first 2-3 times) over the spring semester (if you're allowed to do that).

So tonight is "Cabaret" and tomorrow night is "Swimming to Cambodia"! I want to go down to Soho early tomorrow afternoon and work on my concert reports for the music class. I feel that being in a creative coffee shop in a creative neighbourhood will make me feel more creative and do a better job on the report. Then Sunday afternoon, I'm seeing "Noises Off". I'm looking forward to seeing how polished it's become and I'm looking forward to seeing a better production than I did last weekend in Maryland (even though I've seen it already and know what to expect). Of all the productions I've seen, the best I saw was in London this past summer. That production was PERFECT!

As I was walking to the theatre, I passed by Robert Sean Leonard talking to a woman on the street. I thought I should warn Paula that her boyfriend is cheating on her ;)

"Cabaret" was fantastic! What a great production! And I didn't have any obnoxious people around me. Well... the guy next to me seemed to have a comment for every "racey" part of the show (when Cliff kisses Bobby, when the Emcee moons the audience...)- but I didn't mind it so much. Whenever an actor goes through the audience and interacts with them, I'm never one of the audience members who gets interacted with. Well, tonight I was. When Raul went through the audience during one of the numbers, he commented on my drink. Not a big deal, in fact the people next to me were more excited than I was. Still, it was fun to be a part of the show if only for a brief moment.

I guess yesterday was moment day. I felt like the entire evening was made up of moments- the bus moment, the seeing RSL moment, the feeling like a part of the show moment...

So I got an email last night from The ScreeniFng Room about their Thanksgiving dinner and a movie ("It's a Wonderful Life"). It's nice to know that if I didn't have my family coming up here, I wouldn't be alone. I could join a bunch of people for dinner and a movie. I might be the only person who was there alone, but the tables are set up for groups and I go to movies alone all the time. I wouldn't feel uncomfortable. Maybe they do the same thing for Christmas? Well, I've already made my decision- I'm definitely going down to Maryland for Christmas this year. Maybe next year I'll stay home. Maybe next year I can even stay home and not be alone...

Today I need to call Rent-A-Wreck and colour my hair and then meet Seth and Charles somewhere for evening festivities.

We did a bit of walking before we found a restaurant (we were in no rush since the movie didn't start until 10:00)- it was a beautiful night for walking around the city. We walked from Seth's hotel at 42nd between 2nd & 3rd to to 46th between 8th & 9th to look at the menus on Restaurant Row. Then we walked up 9th to 52nd and back over to 8th to try to go to Caffee Cielo. From there, we walked to 7th & 56th to go to Trattoria de Arte. After dinner, we walked on 57th over to 3rd so I could visit my friendly neighbourhood ATM and then walked over to the movie theatre at 58th & 5th. They walked with me back to my apartment after the movie.

Charles and Seth were both interesting people. Seth reminded me of Daniel a little bit- mainly his confidence (arogance?). Charles was quiet- didn't say much and when he did, it was sometimes hard to hear him. Seth brought up an interesting question that I will try to find the answer to when I have time- why isn't there a colon in military time but there is in non-military time?

So "Amelie" was wonderful! It was quirky, cute, had a good pace, was filmed in a fascinating manner, and made me leave the theatre feeling good and noticing the little things. Although I think our country is going to think that all young, French actresses have pale skin and black hair (between Audrey Tautou and Juliette Binoche). Now I want to see "Happenstance"- it's conveniently playing across the street from me.

In a little bit, I'm going to head up to the Vinegar Factory to get a few things for the next few days and see what I can do about ordering a turkey and getting drinks and dessert for Thursday. Then I'll either eat something I pick up there for dinner or go somewhere in Soho before going to see "Swimming to Cambodia". I'm leaning towards just having a quick bite here. I don't want to go to some swanky, trendy, artsy, etc. place in Soho on a Saturday night by myself.

As for working on my concert report, I decided that instead of working on it in Soho today, I'll go over to Serendipity on Tuesday and work on it there. That seems like a good place to work on a creative report.

Okay, I can't really concentrate on what I'm writing (this entry is probably a jumbled mess), so I'll just get going now.

Oh yes, and congratulations to Randy Johnson and Roger Clemens for being the 2001 Cy Young winners!

In the early evening I went down to Soho. I found a quiet, un-trendy, un-artsy cafe that was a perfect place to get a cup of coffee and apple tart before the show. I got to the Performing Garage early and it's a good thing I did. Not one minute after I got there did a huge crowd show up. So I got a good seat. But if was a difficult performance to watch. First of all, Spalding was still hurting from the car accident (he was in a horrible car accident in Ireland this summer and had to get a steel plate in his hip and an operation on his skull). He's able to walk, but he looks worn out. He began the performance by talking about the accident and then briefly told about his move (from Sag Harbor to some other Hamptons location that he hates) and how he was unable to get down to Ground Zero until much after the 11th and that bothered him. Then he went into the "Swimming to Cambodia" monologue. He stuggled through it- stuttering, forgetting things that he had to go back to, and had trouble with the sarcasm and much of the delivery of the funny/amusing stories. It was difficult to watch him struggle. At the end, he tied it back into September 11th by saying, "What goes around, comes around,"- and then it was over. He asked for comments and questions. Many people wanted to know more about how he felt about September 11th. He said he was upset about his move- tearing apart his house instead of going down to Ground Zero. It really bothered him. He said he couldn't even talk about it. He said he was having trouble reviving "Swimming to Cambodia" and wanted to cancel the performances in San Francisco. Several people in the audience said he shouldn't cancel. Personally, I think he should cancel if he doesn't feel up to it or doesn't feel like he'll do a good job. Right now he's not happy in his life and really was struggling through the monologue. I didn't say anything at the Q&A session though. I wish I could have taken him out for a drink and talked to him about it. I just wanted to give him a hug. He looked so unhappy. So it was a difficult performance, and I left feeling sullen and walked at a slower pace than my normal back to the subway.

Today was "Noises Off". They really tightened it up since the first preview! Faith Prince (Belinda) did a few minor things that were really funny, Edward Hibbert (Freddy) was much better with the physical comedy, Thomas McCarthy (Gary) gave his character a little more depth, and Katie Finneran (Brooke) completely added to her character- giving her more of a stereotype and it really worked. I still really don't care for Peter Gallagher though- too bland and he didn't do anything differently than what I saw at the first preview.

So I've been thinking about how to put this in words recently, and I'm going to give it a shot now. I'm sure it won't come out how I'm really feeling though- maybe I'll be able to get a better grasp on it as time goes on. But I really want to try to say something about this incredible feeling I've been having recently... So, here it goes:
I've been feeling really alive recently. A few days ago I mentioned listening to those conversations on the bus and that I felt that I was a part of those people's lives and the life of New York in general. Well, I've been feeling that way a lot recently (especially on buses for some reason). As I was riding the bus uptown to the Vinegar Factory, I felt so good- so happy to be seeing trees with coloured leaves in the little park-like areas, happy to be sitting with the other people (mostly older women) on the bus, happy to not be rushed in my trip to the grocery store... Sitting at the Soho cafe, I looked out the window watching all the different types of people walking by. Watching them made me feel alive. It's such a strange feeling. I really can't seem to put it into words. I think this feeling started some time in October- when I stopped being depressed about current events and I started getting songs from "The Nutcracker" in my head. I know those two things have nothing to do with each other, but that's how I can recall the change in me. Everything seems more exaggerated. An example- I noticed the texture of the froth from my latte that I got at the cafe last night. This feeling makes me want to smoke pot. I would love to get high and take a walk through Central Park or ride a bus to an area I don't know well or go see a movie or go see "Music Man" (or some other show) or go to a restaurant I've been wanting to go to or people watch somewhere. I feel so alive. I love this city. I love wandering around alone. I notice these feelings only when I'm alone. And I only feel this way when I'm out in the world (although, I'm feeling it right now in my apartment for the first time- perhaps because I'm writing about it). And I feel like these feelings are only 80% of the way there- like there's something more I haven't felt yet. I'm practically there, but can't quite reach. Jethro Tull's "The Waking Edge" is a good way to describe it (or at least it makes more sense than anything I can come up with myself). It's a good feeling, but I feel like it could somehow be even better. Although, sometimes I feel like it feels too good- sort of like that line from "American Beauty"- "Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." So I go back and forth between not enough and too much. But not enough and too much of what? Not beauty exactly, although maybe that is what I'm feeling. Maybe I need forget about football (even though my Patriots are playing) and watch "American Beauty" tonight and see if I can relate any more to Ricky Fitts than I already do. Of course, that movie will want to make me smoke pot than I do now.

Anyway, so that's sort of what I've been feeling recently. It's pretty neat.

Tomorrow I'm going to meet Marcell for a quick lunch before I head up to school. Then I get to go to the Math workshop and see if I failed the test again or not. I have a feeling I did. If that's the case, I'm going to ask if there's a way to get a regular tutor since obviously I need major help. Then I'm going to stop by the Psychology department and talk to those lovely people about picking a minor. If they tell me that theatre is okay (if I can get them to talk to me at all), I'll swing by the theatre department and see what classes I should be taking. Then I can figure out what to take in the Spring.

Okay, I think watching "American Beauty" sounds like a good idea for tonight.

I don't even think I can write about it all now. I don't even remember all the bad things. I think somewhere around 8:00, I had reached my limit of negative things happening in one day and when the bad things continued after that- I blocked most of everything out. I don't know what's wrong with me right now. I feel violent, pissed off, and miserable and I don't remember all the things that put me in this mood. I just feel lousy and wish I could do something about it but in a way I don't want to do anything at all. I wish I could just go to sleep (but I know I won't be able to fall asleep for several hours). I wish I could get stoned (although for different reasons than yesterday). I just don't know what to do with myself. I feel so horrible and there's nothing I can do. I hate when I get like this. I have no control over my anger/violence. I'm actually calmer than I normally am when I get like this though. I'm able to type this. I think that's because I don't even know what's wrong with me.

I remember writing in July about not feeling alive. I felt that in everything, I was just going through the motions rather than experiencing everything. I was upset that I didn't feel alive. Well, now I do. And I'm glad. Sure, today was a hard day and was made super hard because of the intenseness (is that a word?), but it's worth it. Because tomorrow will be a good day (hopefully) and it will be a good day with intenseness.

So without recalling the events of today and bringing up sorrow and anger, I will stop this entry now on a good note. It's amazing how my mood changed so drastically in an hour. I went from feeling like I was having a breakdown to almost feeling joy in an hour. Yes, I'm surpressing the bad feelings and not dealing with the problems, but I don't care. The problems will still be there when I have time to deal with them on Wednesday. I'm not going to ruin the rest of tonight.

I went to see how I did on the Math test and had trouble getting it. The woman getting for me told me that since I didn't return the previous test, she couldn't let me see this one. I told her that I didn't have it and she got really nasty, told me she didn't want to deal with this, and made me talk to Ms. Karapides on the phone. I told her I didn't have it and she said it was okay for this woman to give me the test. The woman glared at me and went to ask Ms. Karapides herself. Then she came back out (this all took about 30 minutes) and gave it to me and went to find a tutor. This one also had a thick accent and was acting like I was wasting his time. He handed me the test and told me to do the ones I got wrong. Then he put his feet up on the table and opened the newspaper. I told him I didn't know where to start. He looked irritated and proceed to do the problems at warp speed with horrible handwriting so I couldn't understand his accent nor could I read his writing. I told him I didn't understand and he said, "What don't you understand?" I told him I couldn't follow what he was doing. He then said, "Well, I can't explain it to you since I do it the way you do it in Math 150, you need to ask your teacher." I told him I was in the workshop and didn't have a teacher and he said that I needed to ask a tutor for Math 100. I said, "Never mind," and just watched what he was doing even though I didn't understand any of it. The last problem he made me do on my own. I did it in two seconds and got it right- go figure. Then I gave him back the test and watched him give it back to the receptionist so I wouldn't have a problem of a lost test again, and then I left in tears. I was more confused than ever since every time I talk to a new person, they show me how to do the problems in a different way and I get confused about what to do when. More on the Math situation later...

The rest of that day was bad as well. I don't remember all that happened (I didn't even remember everything later that night). I just remember feeling guilty that I was feeling bad when I had my health and everyone I care about is healthy as well. So many people act like I shouldn't care about my problems when there are larger problems in the world. I can't help it though. I can't ignore my problems just because there are others suffering more than I am- I just can't do it. I don't know how these people telling me to do that do it themselves. Maybe I should ask them.

On November 20, I had a cross between feeling violent & helpless and wanting to feel those "part of the city" feelings but couldn't quite get there- it was too forced and didn't work.

I read this in a city planning digest to which I subscribe- it was about why we shouldn't use the former WTC space as a memorial (at least not yet). I agree with it completely:
A memorial is not an antidote to grief; the survivors grieve privately, as they always have. The purpose of a memorial is to remember; we cannot remember until we begin to forget. We will not begin to forget for many years. The Lincoln Memorial was not dedicated until 1922, the Jefferson Memorial until 1943.

Tuesday night I went to see "The Shape of Things". I got there a little early, so I went to Xando (this one seems to only be Xando as opposed to Xando/Cosi, which I thought they all became sometime last year) for a nice coffee drink (which I actually didn't enjoy as much as I usually do) and watched a few minutes of the beginning of the Duke basketball game (it is nice to see college basketball again and it was nice to see South Carolina meeting Duke point for point- at least that's what happened in the beginning of the game).

"The Shape of Things" was great! I don't feel like writing all my thoughts again, so here's what I wrote in an email to Seth about it (do not read this if you're planning on seeing it- it give too much away and you will be disappointed):
First let me say, WOW! I had a few problems with the production, but in general, it was wonderful.
I loved the characters, especially Rachel Weiss' character (I could really relate to her). I got a little confused when she got possessive toward the end- telling him that she couldn't trust him, asking him to give up his friends, etc., but I figured she was just a little manic-depressive or something. I knew the playwright did "In the Company of Men", but I didn't know anything about "The Shape of Things" besides the actors in this current production, so I didn't completely connect the two and fully realise his love of manipulating people. So when it got to the end, of course I understood all her actions and definitely appreciated what she was doing by acting possessive. And what an awesome art project! If I were grading the project, I would definitely give her an A.
I completely loved the writing and the way the actors delivered the lines (Although I don't know why all young stage actresses have to have the same tone of voice- that dramatic way of S-P-E-A-K-I-N-G E-V-E-R-Y W-O-R-D D-I-S-T-I-N-C-T-L-Y. I guess they haven't yet learned that you can speak clearly and naturally at the same time). I agreed with all the direction and characterisation, and I liked the between scene song choices.
There were a few things that I thought made the show less than perfect. I did not like the scene changes. I understand that it was written as a bunch of little scenes, but I found the curtain coming down and the music rather jarring. I had the same problem when the music stopped abruptly at the beginning of each scene. I know they needed time to set the next scene, but I thought they should have done it without taking the audience out of the play and back into their seats in the theatre (if you know what I mean). It was difficult to get back into each scene. Each time the curtain and lights came up and the music stopped, it took a few minutes to get out of the theatre and into the play. I haven't thought too much on how I would do it differently, but there must be some way to make it more smooth. I did like the music though, so maybe they could have somehow kept the music (but faded it out rather than just shut it off), but showed us the scene changes rather than bring down that bright, big, blue curtain... or something like that.
I also thought the last scene was not necessary. We didn't learn anything new and I don't think it needed a clean ending with Rachel Weiss' character offering Paul Rudd's character a few words of comfort. Plus, while the audience knows what she said was comforting (that she meant what she whispered in his ear that one night), since we didn't know what she did say to him that night, we can't appreciate how he was comforted to know that she meant it. I think if it ended with her conclusion of the presentation, it would have had more effect.
The final thing I would have done differently is have a scene between Rachel Weiss and Frederick Weller. I liked their chemistry in the scene with the 4 of them and would have enjoyed seeing them in a scene alone. It could have easily been done. Rather than have the scene where Rachel Weiss talks about her kiss, they could have shown it. Now I don't completely believe that the kiss actually happened, but the playwright could have decided that it did happen and let the audience see it. I really thought there was a connection between the two of them and waited through the rest of the play to see them hook up in some way. She only said that she hated him because he was assertive and didn't want her little project to start getting assertive ideas as well. I think she really liked this guy because he had strong opinions and gave her a nice partnership- an equal with whom she could have heated arguments. They would also balance each other. He would make her step off her high horse once in a while and she would make him realise he doesn't have to hide behind a "normal" personality and can allow himself to stay true to his nature (to be a passionate, quirky man with taste that deviates from the norm). A scene between these two would have given the play a refreshing dimension.

Monday night, we learned that Anthropology would be cancelled because most people wouldn't be coming anyway because of Thanksgiving. Music, on the other hand, could not be cancelled. She told us the music department is VERY strict and wouldn't allow her to cancel. Whatever. So there would be more travel time than class time on Wednesday. I was going to spend Wednesday afternoon looking for a private math tutor rather than go to the workshop, but I didn't do either. I spent Wednesday waking up early (after not getting to sleep until 5:30 AM) since they delivered the turkey at 8:00 AM), trying to fit the turkey in the fridge (it barely fit), cleaning the apartment, and researching psychology departments (both undergrad and grad).

I discovered that all graduate programmes involve mostly research- that's why where you get in is based more on your research interests than on your grades. You can do a concentration in counseling, but most of what you will be doing is testing, research, and coming up with theories (for a thesis and/or disertation). This is not what I want to be doing. I do not want to spend a large portion of my life researching new disorders or ways of testing or different psychological approaches. I want to study what's out there and learn better ways of counseling by doing actual counseling. I do not want to be the person responsible for a breakthrough in the field. I do not want to write articles in scholarly journals or write best sellers. I want to help people sort through their problems, suggest ways of coping, and heal from disorders. However, what I want to do is not possible without all the years of research, disertations, articles, and theories. While I haven't ruled it out 100% (I'm stubborn), I do not think Psychology is the career path for me. I do not have such a passion for Psychology to allow several years of my life to be taken up with activities that do not interest me and will ultimately not be of much use to me. So I'm back to square one: What do I want to be when I grow up? ;) (more of that in a few minutes)

Random comment: I'm thinking of going late to school (going only for music) on the 12th so I can go to the Broadway Christmas tree lighting

So I didn't get much sleep on Tuesday night, and I didn't get much sleep on Wednesday night either. Neil and Maxine decided to be crazy and leave at 4:00 AM to beat the traffic. Well, they certainly didn't run into too much traffic- they got here at 7:15 AM! I didn't get much sleep any night that they were here. And I won't get much sleep this coming week. I hope I can sleep in on December 4.

I knew the week from hell was coming up, but I didn't fully realise how soon it was until I got an email from Jim. He mentioned that he would be in New York next week and wanted to see if we could get together. I then realised that he would be here during the week from hell. So now my week from hell will be even busier. I'll be getting together with Jim (and John V, whom I barely remember but remember him being a nice guy, from NRV Net) sometime this coming week and then I'll be seeing "Les Mis" Saturday night with Kristin (who will be here that weekend) and her friend Vanessa. And as for the rest of the week from hell- I'm going to try to see as little of George and John as possible and I'm going to try to have little to do with the running of things. I will do some entry if Eytan can't handle it all on his own and I will do phone bidding and relieve Eytan from result entry, but that's it. I will not hang around after each session since I'm usually thought of as useless. Why should I be around people who think I'm useless? If I'm so useless, I don't need to be there at all. I certainly have other things I need to be doing.

Another random comment: I had 6-7 eyelashes fall out of my right eye the other night- is that an unusually high amount?

And now for something completely different- another random comment: How come, when you first hurt yourself (stub your toe, bang your arm...), it doesn't hurt. It only hurts once you realise what you did? Does it really take the brain that long (usually a second or two) to figure out that you did something that causes pain?

Other activities of Tuesday: I went to see "Happenstance" (it was okay, but I didn't enjoy it too much- either because I wasn't in a great mood or it just didn't have enough going for it) and then went to Serendipity to work on my concert report. I didn't stay long. My mood was not condusive to working on a report or sitting around a cutesy place with overly energetic, gay (happy and homosexual) waiters. I did manage to jot down some notes that I want to include in my report. I need to figure out some other musical terms to add to it so she'll not only like my observations but know that I can use the terminology and then figure out a creative format that she'll like.

About Thanksgiving weekend:
After Neil & Maxine arrived, they went to see the parade. They didn't stay too long- too crowded and couldn't see much. I was too tired to go with them, but I did watch it on TV for a few minutes (I think this was the second time I saw the parade- the first time I was a child). I saw the M&M float- they had a singer on their float- someone named Usher- thought it would have been appropriate to have Eminem (I think that's how he spells it)- but he's probably too controversial for the Macy's Parade. And then I saw a commercial for Will and Grace and learned that Blythe Danner is going to be on! Whoever was filming the parade is obviously a straight man- he ignored all the male performers and zoomed in on the females.

Then we hung out and waited for Paula and Harvey to arrive. They got here and I really don't remember how dinner got served. Harvey was in the kitchen for a while and then Maxine was in the kitchen for a while. I don't think anyone else was involved. So I guess everyone enjoyed dinner. I ate a few sweet potatoes and a few green beans. I tried the turkey but didn't really want it. I think I'm the only person who is hungry after a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. In between dinner and dessert, I got in a REALLY lousy mood. I was thinking about how Harvey could take better care of himself and how I hate that he talks about how his mother overfed him when he was a baby. Talk of overeating really bothers me. It scares me and disgusts me and makes me angry. I think I have many thoughts that someone with anorexia would have- fortunately, I do not have the actions of someone with anorexia. I then thought about death- how I was scared to die and scared of the people I care about dying. Then I started thinking about my lack of goals- Psychology was my one goal, and now it's gone. I think I had some other negative thoughts but can't remember them now. So then I got my violent anger tendencies, which was bad timing since Abby had just gone to sleep. I went in my room and asked Harvey to stop eating dessert and come in to talk to me. I told him briefly about all the things that were currently bothering me and he didn't have much to say, other than that maybe I should talk to someone about my fear of death if I think that my fear is stronger than normal. Then Paula said that she wanted to leave, so that was the end of our conversation. He wanted to continue the conversation the next day, but when the next day came, I was in a better mood and didn't want to go back to the anger and violence.

Thursday night, I went down to Pig n' Whistle to try to relax. I had a few glasses of port and then started talking to the guy next to me- Sean from Ireland. He bought Grasshopper shots for both of us and then I had another glass of port. By the end of the evening, I was pretty drunk. I had to have been drunk to make out with this guy at the bar. I hate watching other people do this and make a point of not doing it. I guess I was too drunk to care. I wasn't particularly attracted to this guy- physically or mentally. I guess I wanted this situation to take me out of my negative mood. This was the second time I got drunk recently (the last time being at the Horse You Came in On in Fells Point a few weeks ago) and both times I had no sense of time. I was only out for a few hours on Thursday night and maybe it felt like a few hours, I don't quite remember. But I barely noticed myself or my surroundings or the way the events happened (I guess that's why I let myself do what I did with Sean). I got home and felt less upset than I was before I went out.

Friday morning- Neil, Maxine, Abby, and I said goodbye to Paula and Harvey and then went to the Brooklyn Diner for breakfast. As we were saying goodbye, Maxine was asking Harvey to explain the layout of the city. I didn't understand why she was taking up his time when she could have asked me on the way to or during breakfast. Maybe she didn't trust me? Like Neil didn't trust the directions I gave them to my apartment and called Harvey to verify what I told him? I have enough problems with people I don't care about not respecting or trusting me. Now people I do care about are treating me the same way? I hope I'm wrong about the reason for them acting this way. I hope it's another reason that doesn't involve not trusting me to know what I'm talking about. At least I know that Eytan, Rebecca, and Paula still trust and respect me. It's better than no one. Anyway, after breakfast, we walked to Times Sqaure so Maxine could go to the new Toys R Us (no way would you get me in a new toy store in Times Square the day after Thanksgiving- but I did look inside and saw they had a ferris wheel- cool!) and I went to pick up "Les Mis" tickets for Kristin, Vanessa, and I (great seats- 11th row centre).

Then Neil and I took the bus down to see "Tick, Tick... Boom!". I thought he'd like it and I was sort of curious to see how Joey McIntire handled the role- plus I could get free tickets, so why not? Well, the first song was great so it gave me hope- unfortunately, it went downhill from there. Jerry Dixon's understudy was in, and I didn't care for him (he was bland). Joey McIntire didn't have enough emotion, plus I was used to Raul Esparza who WAS Jonathan Larson. Natascia Diaz had an incredible voice and did a great job with all the parts, but was only so-so with the role of Susan. Still, she was my favourite Susan overall. 99% of the people there were there for Joey McIntire. Fortunately, they weren't too obnoxious (I thought they would be worse). Victoria Leecock (the producer of the show that I met at the Bryant Park concert) sat next to me. I got to ask her a few things I'd been wondering about (like was it really Stephen Sondheim on the answering machine tape). Neil said he enjoyed every minute of the show, so it was definitely worth going. I'm so glad he liked it! Even though I didn't like the show as much with the new cast, the songs still got stuck in my head. I woke up singing "Come to Your Senses" Saturday morning and "Why" Sunday morning.

On the way home, my mood turned slightly negative. Neil told me he went to the doctor last week because he thought he was having a heart attack. Fortunately, it was not a heart attack, but just the thought of it makes me scared and upset.

Random comment #42: I found the most "convenient" Rent-A-Wreck (Long Island City- is that really convenient?) and they told me they wouldn't have Christmas rates until after Thanksgiving weekend. So I'll call back next week (hopefully I'll remember in between all the chaos of next week).

Saturday Neil, Maxine, and Abby went to FAO Schwartz and I waited for them outside. Then we came back here, ordered lunch from Shun Lee, and then Maxine took Abby back to Times Square. I was exhausted during the afternoon and just watched a little of the Oklahoma/OSU football game with Neil. The commentators were discussing the BCS rules and decided to explain them as a football play with the white lines on the screen. He drew a box and said that there are a lot of numbers inside the box. Then he drew an arrow pointing from outside the box to inside the box and following the arrow he said that someone reaches in the box and pulls out the number for each team... Thought that was funny! Once in a while, those commentators are really funny.

Rebecca's friend, Sean, took some pictures of the Leonid meteor shower from last week. Wish I could have seen it for myself.

So FAO Schwartz was bought out by Zany Brainy. I have mixed feelings about this. FAO Schwartz was always wonderful and unique, but in recent years, toys have lost their charm so FAO Schwartz lost its charm as well. I'm sure Zany Brainy (if they're smart) will keep the name as FAO Scwartz. I have mixed feeling about that too.

Saturday evening, we tried to go to Serendipity, but there was a 2 and a half hour wait. My goodness, my neighbourhood was certainly packed on Saturday night. Between the area around Bloomies and Times Square, it doesn't look like tourists are staying away from New York and it doesn't look like the weak economy is stopping people from spending money on Christmas shopping.

Saturday night, I got an email about a Marijuana Reform Party party. I wanted to go, but I have such trouble going to parties- especially one where I won't know anyone.

Well, I took the bus up to this guy's apartment, walked to the apartment, turned around and walked back to the bus stop. Fortunately, the bus did not come right away so I had time to change my mind. I told myself that an opportunity like this doesn't come around very often (a invitation to a party with fun, laid-back people) and I would be pissed at myself for not giving it a try. So I went back to the apartment. I told the doorman which apartment and the guy's first name (I couldn't remember his last name) and he let me up. The owner of the apartment, Chris, opened the door and introduced himself. I introduced myself and then he introduced me to the 4 people sitting at the table. What a perfect time to get there- late enough so I wasn't the first one but early enough that I was able to talk with a small group and get a seat at the table. I smoked a bowl with those people, made a little small talk, and spend the rest of the time people watching and once in a while feeling uncomfortable that all I was doing was people watching. I found out that Vince, one of the important members of the MRP who had died in the WTC- his body was found on Thanksgiving. As it got later, more people showed up- including one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. I watched her for a while. She was not only beautiful, but interesting and intelligent as well. She was one of those people that you would never actually go and talk to- they are in another league. Well, for some reason, these types of women seek me out. She came over to talk to me. Her name was Misha and she has her own computer consulting business. Well, we certainly had a lot to talk about! I wanted to get her number, but when I was leaving I couldn't find her. Oh well, perhaps I'll see her again. Or perhaps not. Either way is fine with me. Anyway, I'm so glad I forced myself to go. While I did spend a lot of time there feeling uncomfortable- I did something I don't like doing and came out okay. Tom was there and told me that there might or might not be a meeting next week and another guy, Peace, told me about another group of people who have meetings on Sunday that I'm welcome to come check out. I got the address but not the time so I don't know how useful that is. Maybe some Sunday I'll swing by in the afternoon and see if I can figure anything out by walking by the building.

After I got home I was still a little stoned and wished I had the apartment to myself so I could play music and sing. But that was not meant to be. So I just sang in my head. One of those lovely songs was "Cereal for the Little Baby"- thanks Neil. I don't know if this is a song he heard somewhere or if he made it up but it sure does get stuck easily in your head.

So even after realising that this coming week is the week from hell, I still haven't fully realised that this coming week means this coming Tuesday and that is only 2 days away. Actually, tonight I am finally realising it, but I wish I took care of a few things this weekend rather than save everything for tomorrow and Tuesday morning. Eytan is coming in Tuesday afternoon.

He decided on seeing "Music Man" Tueday night! Definitely fine with me. I'll just have to make time tomorrow to print out the discount code and take it over to the box office.

This morning Neil, Maxine, and Abby woke me up at 5:15 to say goodbye. Too early!!!!! I had just gone to sleep an hour or two before that. I was half asleep until they both went downstairs and told me to watch Abby. Then I had to wake up and be alert. So I was still alert when they left and was torn between trying to go back to sleep and getting a jump start on my day. I wound up going back to sleep, on and off (more off than on), until noon. I should have stayed awake since I had a lot to do, but I knew I wouldn't be getting much sleep this coming week and decided rest was good.

It was nice having them up here for the weekend. It was fun watching Abby being intruiged by various things around my apartment (mainly CDs and my computer). Although, somehow she managed to change the settings for a few things on the computer- I got almost everything back to normal except for 3 keys- I'll figure it out later when I have more time- it's not a big deal. Now I have to put the apartment back together by Tuesday afternoon in time for Eytan's arrival.

I went to the matinee of "Roadside" (the new Jones & Scmidt musical) today. I didn't care for it (too corny). Steve Barcus (who played Black Ike) looked familiar. I did a search for his name when I got home but couldn't find out anything besides that he's performed in Texas. I should have stuck around to see if I could have asked him why he looked familiar to me. Maybe I'll swing by some night before the end of the run. It's quite convenient- it's at the York Theatre in the Citicorp building (only 3 blocks from me).

So tonight I decided to quit the Math workshop. If I'm not going to major in Psychology, I don't need to take Math 101- which is what the workshop is preparing me for. I'll talk to an advisor about it soon, but for now, it's a relief to feel like I don't have to continue it for the near future.

I've thought about job possibilities for the long term, and decided that a government job (preferably Federal Government) sounds like a good idea. I'm looking into job possiblilties that do not require math. In a perfect world, I would be able to be a counseling psychologist in a private or group practice. But it is not a perfect world, so I must compromise. While I do not love the idea of working under supervisors and being among all that red tape and not making as much money as I could as a Psychologist, I do like the idea of always having a job available and making a decent living. So I'm looking into it tonight and will continue to look into it over the next month or two.

And now it is late and must try to get to sleep before 4:00 AM so I can get up early and get tickets for Tuesday night and then come home and pay my bills (since I didn't do it over the weekend like I should have) before heading up to school.

Two nights ago, I had a dream that I was in a small room and watching either a live improv comedy show or watching a taping of one. Seth, Rebecca's friend, was one of the performers.

Yesterday I went to get tickets for "Music Man". On my way there, someone from a hair salon stopped me and asked if I wanted to get my hair coloured and be a hair model. Me? A hair model? My hair looked really bad yesterday too- REALLY frizzy! I was in a rush so I didn't look into it further. As I continued walking, I thought that maybe she wanted me as a before model- as in those before and after shots when they take the really ugly person and make them pretty, either by actual beauty work or by touching up the picture. That's the only reason I could come up with for why she asked me instead of the blonde woman walking in front of me or other women in the near vicinity who I'm sure had better hair than I did.

There still aren't enough hours in the day to get everything accomplished. I wanted to get other stuff done before Eytan got here, but that didn't happen. Oh well, at least I finally paid my bills.

Soon, it will be time to leave and go to dinner and "Music Man"!!

So "Music Man" was great! At the beginning of the show, everyone was really into it- it seemed more fresh. Then I noticed through the rest of the show that it seemed cleaner- like they just had a brush-up rehearsal. Well, maybe they did have one on Monday night- they did have a few new cast members so maybe they whole cast got to clean up a little bit. It was nice to hear the lines as if they were giving them for one of the first times. Even Malika Samuel (Amarylis) spoke as her character rather than just reciting her lines. So even though all the good dancers left (except Manuel Herrera), it was a great performance- one I don't believe I'll ever get tired of watching. Eytan said he liked it, but I could tell he wasn't that into it. He was tired for one thing, so maybe he couldn't get into it for that reason. Oh well, it was his idea to see it- I didn't force him. And Ruth Gottschall was the one collecting for Broadway Cares, so I got to tell her how much I enjoyed seeing "One Touch of Venus".

So today was mostly uneventful. In fact I don't think I have anything to say about it. I thought I did but can't remember anything right now.

I've been riding with some really obnoxious bus riders recently. Yesterday, I was standing at the bus stop for about 10 minutes as a crowd started to gather. Then a woman showed up just as the bus was pulling up. She wandered in front of everyone and got on first. She didn't push her way or acknowledge that there were a bunch of us already waiting. It was like she was oblivious to us and just got on the bus as if the rest of us were not there. The bus was packed. I just managed to get on. The bus driver did not make people move to the back. The woman right behind me could have moved back a little, but she did not. I asked her too and she was either deaf or pretended not to hear me. Today I was on the bus and sat next to an obnoxious woman. The window next to her was cracked open a little bit. The woman in front of us decided to close it. It wasn't closed for more than a second, when the woman next to me yelled at the other woman, "How dare you close this window? I want it open! Ask before you do sometihng like that!" Well, even if she felt this way, her tone was still really nasty. The woman in front turned around and told her that she didn't need to be so harsh. To which she replied, "Well, I would never do that without asking. Go find another seat!" And I'm also really irritated with people walking around here. They are oblivious to the people around them. People stoll across the street as the light is about to change and won't get out of everyone else's way. Then they stop dead on the sidewalk for no reason. And people should not walk 3 across, holding hands. There just isn't room for that. ---End Rant---

So tomorrow I'm hanging out with Jim and John V (from NRV Net). Jim wants to visit Ground Zero (like all the other tourists- I know his intentions are noble, he doesn't want to gawk and take pictures- but I still don't really understand why everyone wants to do this) and so I told him I'd go with him while we're waiting for John. Then we'll meet up with John and go to Caffe Cielo (I have to remember to make a reservation tomorrow).

This month seems to be reunite-with-my-past month. I found Meital, through Meital I'll be also seeing Rebeka Dolid and possibly Meital's sister and Alix Dale (there's only a small chance I'll see Alix- Meital said she didn't sound very interested in getting together), and a friend from nursery school- Allyson- just emailed me to say she would be in New York this Saturday and asked if I had time to get together. Well, I don't have a minute (unless she was going to be here around 7:00 and wanted to get a quick coffee and a muffin or something- but I'm sure she won't be here that early). Oh well, maybe she'll be back sometime soon (but I doubt it- she's in med school in California and is only on the East Coast for a short time at a conference in Phili). I love connecting with my past- it's fun to see what people have become. Meital and Rebeka will be especially interesting to see since I knew them both pretty well and haven't seen them for at least 10 years. I wonder who else from my past I could see now? I think most people I have managed to see for some reason or another. Off the top of my head, I can't think of anyone from my past that I haven't seen recently and would really like to see... Actually I have thought of one, Steffanie Podolny. That shouldn't be too hard, althoughI tried finding Steffanie once and didn't have any luck. I really should call her parents who hopefully still live in New Mexico and will be easy to find. There are certainly other people from my past that I would like to see, but no one so much that I would actively seek them out.

So Maryland beat Illinois- that's awesome. They needed something like this so people won't forget that they're still a team worthy of attention. Hopefully they'll win the first few of their conference games, get confidence, get a rhythm, gel as a team, and beat the pants off of Duke!

Ah yes, I remembered something out of the ordinary that happened today. I got an email from a lawyer who said that he read my Epinion on Dollar Rent-a-Car (speaking of rental cars, I need to call Rent-A-Wreck soon) and told me that his firm is currently investigating the company and would like to know more about my problems with the company. Interesting. I will have to look into this further before I do anything about it. But I'm seriously happy that something I wrote might actually be useful in terms of getting something done about problem companies!

I might have time for an entry tomorrow morning, but after that, I doubt I'll have time to write anything before Monday morning. I probably won't have much to say about anything that happens in the next few days anyway, except to talk about my evening with Jim & John, seeing "Les Mis" with Kristin & Vanessa, and ranting about George, John (Destefanis), and all those other wonderful people who have no respect for me.

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