May

I overslept yesterday. The stupid alarm clock is not set up very well. In fact, I'm surprised I haven't had this problem yet. I should use my other clock again. This stupid one has the alarm off button going the wrong way from the alarm set button. I thought I had turned the alarm off when in fact, I had put it on alarm set. So the clock constantly said 8:00 (or whatever time it's set for). I went back to sleep on and off for what felt like a few minutes and it was always the same time. Since I wasn't fully awake, I thought it was the correct time. Nope. I finally woke up one time and realised something was wrong. I figured out what I did and when I checked the real time, it was 11:00. So I rushed around trying to get ready and do everything I needed to do before I left and actually made it out by noon.

I talked to a woman in the theatre department about the Theatre Production class and it sounds like it'll be a lot of hours. The class is a standard class and then they put you on a crew. Then you have to show up whenever your crew leader needs you, but they do try to work around your schedule. The hours you have to put in is 40 but she said that the hours needed is always much more than 40. So I'm thinking about either taking 2 classes and taking even longer to graduate or to not work as much (if at all) and take 3 classes. I don't know what not working will be like. I can't remember what that's like. In a way, I don't even want to remember- I want to continue with my current lifestyle. I have a few weeks to think about it.

Thinking about a change in lifestyle in my current state of constantly thinking about life and choices is scary.

On a good note, our B&B teacher decided that our final paper deadline would be extended until the day of the final! That's fantastic! I will start working on it ahead of time, but I have one more full weekend plus the week of finals to do the majority of it. This is good news.

Greek & Roman times seem to be on a little trend here in the theatre world. I know of 3 productions that are currently running ("Antigone AD", "The Oddyssey", and "Persephone").

I have the opportunity to go hear Robert Reich speak tonight for free, but I'm not going to go (wish Paula was here so she could go- she likes his views). I don't agree with most of his opinions and I need to continue simplifying my life (going to a lecture given by someone I'm not thrilled with, even though it would be an interesting evening, still is not something I need to do).

I like that Charles Mingus was a bass player who had his own band. Usually it was the pianist or someone in the front line who was the bandleader. Are there many other bass players with their own band?

Last night I had a rather irritating song in my head- "I'm Henry the Eighth". How did I get back on this kick of always writing about the songs in my head? It's really annoying to do when I'm on a trip and writing in a paper journal since it adds to the amount of typing I need to do when I get home.

This jazz class is giving me lots of music to download. I love trying out artists by downloading a few of their songs (I'll download the ones with interesting titles). Last night I downloaded stuff by Coltrane, Charles Mingus, and Sun Ra.

Last night I had a sense of the dream I had the night before. I didn't remember coherent details, but I had the feeling of the dream. It was a comforting and strange feeling.

Kinda wanna go see "Pajama Game" this weekend too (tickets are cheap), but I won't. Simplify simplify simplify.

Random comment: What's strange about George is that sometimes I just can't figure him out. Sometimes he'll act in the exact opposite way as I thought he would have acted. What's going on in his head? I don't know why I started thinking about this now.

In B&B last night we discussed strokes and brain tumors. In my current existential state, this just added to it. I've been spending way too much time thinking about the meaning of our existence, death, fate, choice, religion, faith...

Wrote Kendra an email this morning and that brought more thoughts about my life and my future and how scary it is to make choices.

I've also been thinking a bit about the legalisation of drugs. I'll definitely try to go to the Marijuana March this weekend.

Maybe I'll try to go see "Spider-Man" on Friday after class.

So, all travel is booked (except for trains- I'll just buy tickets at the stations on the day of travel). I'm getting excited about this trip.
May 24- travel to London
May 25- hang out in London, fly to Edinburgh
May 26- Edinburgh
May 27- travel to Stirling, stay in castle in Fintry
May 28- hang out at Loch Lomond, travel to Glasgow
May 29- Glasgow
May 30- Glasgow
May 31- travel to Charleroi
June 1- hang out in Chaleroi, travel to Amsterdam
June 2- Amsterdam
June 3- Amsterdam
June 4- Amsterdam
June 5- travel to London, fly home
Eleven days, 7 cities/towns. Looking forward to it.

Think I'll watch last week's SFU again tonight.

I'm really loving the fact that the deadline for the B&B paper got extended a week. I feel MUCH more relaxed.

I had a thought last night. I never checked with the Math department about the credits from the class I took at Scottsdale. Since they make you take the placement exam and take whatever class the exam puts you in, I never bothered. But now that I only need basic Math for my degree, it can't hurt to check. Right now on my transcript, I don't even have the credits transfer as elective like all the other classes where they made me see the department in order to either get an elective credit or credit for a specific class. Next to Math, it just says "pending". So I think I'll go print out a description of the class I took and take it to the Math department to see what they say. I doubt they'll count it for my Math requirement, but it can't hurt to check. If I didn't have to take Math, I certainly would be a happy camper, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

Another gloomy day- we're definitely making up for our drought. Today I'm going to head up to school early to talk to someone in the Math department. I know the woman in charge there is extremely stubborn, but I should at least be able to get 3 credits from the class I took. If she tells me I can't use that class for my basic Math requirement and I can't get an elective credit out of it, I'll ask her why- the only reason I shouldn't be able to get general credit for it is if the class is too similar to their basic Math class, if that's the case, then the class I took should be able to count for my basic Math requirement. It can't work both ways for them, I should be able to get something out of that stupid class.

At some point I have to find the time to check out guide books and websites of the cities I'll be going to at the end of the month. I want to have some idea of what I'll want to do in these places besides walk around. I already have some ideas- the Historic Museum in Amsterdam, the Willow Tea Room in Glasgow, the Glass Museum in Charleroi...

I got another good night of sleep last night. I've been having a lot of deep sleep recently- I can't remember my dreams since I'm having more of stage 3 & 4 sleep rather than emergent stage 1.

This Tull album reminds me of Blacksburg (more than their other ones- I guess because I listened to this one there the most). I'm seriously thinking of a little road trip in August down to Virginia. The main reason it didn't seem like a perfect idea before was because I didn't have a comfortable place to stay. Kendra informed me that she has room in her apartment and will indeed be there in August. So I can drive through West Virginia for fun, then go through central Virginia to see family, and then go to Blacksburg for a couple of days. Oh here's an idea. I could drive down to Baltimore and stay with Kim and Marty (she told me I was welcome to stay any time), then drive down to Hood the next day (taking time to check out parts of West Virginia- I'll figure that part out later) and stay with Allan and Dot that night (hope they're around- they travel a lot for Megan's swim meets), and then get to Blacksburg on a Friday night so I can be there for a weekend (when more people will have free time). August 14-19 looks good. I'll just have to check with everyone else to see if it works for them. Now I'm excited about that too- road trip, get out of the hot city for a bit, see friends and family...

Time seems to be moving so quicky the past few years. I know that when you get older, time seems to move faster, but I'm not that old. What will time seem like in 10 or 20 years? I don't want to think about that.

This weekend I need to find a cute little cafe or something and go write the majority of Act II of my play. Writing Act I came so easily in College Park. Actually, when I used to live there, writing always came easily. I used to fill notebooks at 4:00 AM in the hallway of Jon's apartment building. Those were fun nights- I miss writing like that.

I got a ticket for "Star Wars - Episode II, Attack of the Clones" for May 16! And today I'm going to try to see "Spider-Man" (I'm not getting a ticket in advance. I'll just get there after class, a half an hour before it starts, and see if there are tickets available). Then I'll get the big movies out of the way and I won't have to try to make time for them later.

So yesterday I went to the Math department and the nasty woman in the office told me I had to talk to an advisor. The advisor will be there on Tuesday from 4-5. At least I am available to talk to them then. I hope there's not a long line like there was for waiting for an English advisor. Just in case, I'll go right after theatre class so I can get there a little early (around 3:30).

Verizon workers are causing interesting traffic patterns on 58th St. The traffic was coming from the west until Lex (like it's supposed to do), but after Lex, the traffic was coming from the east. It was a bit confusing- felt like I was in Rome or Amsterdam or something, with the traffic coming from all directions.

Had a little flashback last night of the scene in "Invention of Love" when the old Houseman (Richard Easton) is talking to the young Houseman (Robert Sean Leonard). Speaking of Mr. Leonard, I think I get to see him at the reading of "The Glass Menagerie". It was rather vague in the email I got, but I think it was vague in the last email about a reading with Alan Cumming and he was indeed at the reading, so maybe it's the same situation this time. That would be great, to see him in it. I really don't like "The Glass Menagerie", so having him in it would make it so much better for me. He's so talented and adorable.

Strange- the Queen's College Psychology page has that annoying trailing cursor thing with the trail being "Psychology". Why would a university have that on their website?

Eric's playing a show in Baltimore on the 23rd. Everyone in the Baltimore area, go see him play- he's awesome!

Had "Let's Go Fly a Kite" in my head last night. These random songs keep getting stranger and stranger.

Chris Pan will be playing an accoustic set at Battery Park Saturday at 4:00. So I'll go to that and then head back uptown for "Red Hot Mama" (the substitution for "The Lady in Penthouse B"- which I was looking forward to, oh well) at the York Theatre.

And Sunday I'll start research for my B&B paper.

Theatre class was okay today. I always seem to know how to answer his questions and he's always impressed. Love knowing the answers.

Since I didn't watch SFU the other night, I'll watch it tonight. And maybe I'll watch a movie after that if there's something good on.

Just feel really strange tonight. It might also have to do with my horrible concept of time, how on Fridays I really have a bad concept of time, how having a class on Friday afternoon REALLY messes up my concept of time, and going to a movie after class today COMPLETELY confused my sense of time.

Thanks to Time Out, I know that the fictional address of Peter Parker (20 Ingram St. Forest Hills) is the real life address of a couple with the last name of Parker. How strange and what a bizarre coincidence! And doing a little research online, I found this article which tells of even more coincidences (like across the street from the Parkers, at 19 Ingram St, lives a family with the name of Osborn).

Poor Josh. He's having house problems (floods- causing the place to look like marshland, Dot's kid being the new owner and he's not nice...), so he and Chandra are moving to Fairlawn- moving in with their old roommate, Nathan.

Watching SFU (including the little "Sunday" HBO montage) on a Friday night seriously takes away any last little bit of understanding time that I had.

The writers do a great job of writing dialogue for someone who has a mental illness and is on medication and Jeremy Sisto does a wonderful job of playing his character in this state.

Aysia Polk (the little girl who plays Taylor) is a terrific actress. It's so nice to see a child play a character so naturally.

I REALLY need to get a new mouse- this one is completely shot!

So today is the Marijuana March. I won't be doing the march, but I'll go down to Battery Park to hang out, see what's going on, and hear Chris play. Then, depending on how long I stay down there, I'll either come home for a bit and then head back out to see "Red Hot Mama" or not go home first and head straight up to the theatre.

I ordered a new mouse today!

Really don't have much to say today.

I just had a nice little conversation with Paula. I briefly told her about the thoughts I've been having about the future and how even though I'm really happy with my current situation, the future looks bleak and depressing and I'm scared of making the wrong choices. She told me that if something feels right and you're currently happy with the way you're living, then it must be right and you won't regret it. A little simplistic but it did make me feel better (for now).

Anyway, I'm not getting very far on my research paper. I did some research for a few hours today and found nothing that will help me. I finally found some stuff that started to look useful but I was tired of reading all that information. My eyes aren't happy with me today anyway and that's causing problems with reading anymore information. I'll work on it more tomorrow.

I woke up with an occular migraine, it went away briefly, and then it came back for a little while. Second one in less than a week. Not fun. And I'm just having trouble seeing well today in general.

So yesterday was fair. I went down to Battery Park and couldn't find out when Chris was playing (I didn't try very hard). I just walked around for a bit. Saw someone get busted- poor guy.

Then I took the bus back uptown. On the bus there were 5 tourists (they looked like they were from the midwest but didn't have any accent so I'm assuming that maybe they're from Iowa- the people I've met from Iowa have no accent). As the bus passed Ground Zero, they stood up and tried to see as much as possible while one woman made sure her son was able to see. It was absolutely obnoxious. If you're that interested in seeing the area, get off the bus and do your own thing- don't get on a public bus and loudly comment about what you're seeing. Very rude. The other comments that were made were: "Look, they have McDonalds here", "Look at that slanted building", and when we were passing Bryant Park, "Is that Central Park?". And on the bus on the way down, there were some REALLY loud women. As we were going through Soho, they commented on all the shopping they could do at Old Navy, Victoria's Secret, and other chain stores. One woman finally said, "I have Old Navy at home, I don't need to go to the one here,"- good for her! I don't understand why people feel the need to go to another city and shop and eat at the same places they have at home.

So the show last night wasn't my thing. I didn't think it would be. Oh well, at least it was only an hour and a half. There were a ton of obnoxious people at the theatre as usual. The woman in front of me talked to her friends about all the songs. The woman behind me talked to her friends about EVERYTHING (the songs, the jokes...). Both men on either side of me sang along BEFORE we were asked to sing along. I just find things like that rather obnoxious.

A thought I had last night: Wouldn't it be great if you could decide which time zone you were using and when? That way you could plan your life accordingly and not get too stressed. Linear time still just doesn't make sense to me.

Rebecca just called me. She wanted to tell me about her date this afternoon. She seems to meet so many interesting people- that actually call or email her back. I hardly ever meet someone who I actually am interested in seeing again, and when I do, they never call (or email) me back. Oh well, I don't feel like going into all this again right now.

Paula had a dream last night that I was marrying Jeff. She took me to a store to try on my dress (and someone else was there but she doesn't remember who it was) and I got stressed out and said I didn't want to get married. She knew it was because the dress wasn't working for me and she told me I could just wear something else that was comfortable. I felt much better with that and decided the wedding could go on.

Too bad I'm not interested in Jeff. On the surface he seems perfect- emotionally stable, good job, his mom and mom's boyfriend like me, fun, pretty cute, caring... but we just don't click. Believe me, I've tried.

I've had the Spiderman theme song in my head for the past couple days (even though it wasn't really used in the movie).

Today (like every Sunday) is going by too quickly.

Wish I could rest my eyes a bit before watching SFU tonight. Hopefully I'll be able to see the TV well enough. I shouldn't have a problem- I have trouble seeing little things close up, a 27" TV should be fine. Just won't do anymore reading today- no Sunday Times or going through the mail for me.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll make a list of all the things I need to get done before I leave in less than 3 weeks (pick up a bag at Macys for Judith, read some guidebooks, get a raincoat...). I'll do that after I do my research and go through the mail- then I'll have a shorter list. But I'll put those things on the list just so I'll have stuff I can cross off right away. That always feels good- to cross things off a to-do list.

I did some singing last night. That felt great!

Ah, I see people from Epinions are checking out my site again. Hello Epinions people! Still don't understand why on certain days, a whole bunch of them come here from there. I've checked around that site and I don't see anything like "featured member of the day" or anything that might cause a lot of people clicking on the link to my site. Can anyone tell me why on certain days bunches of Epinions people come visit my site?

And there's my jumbled Sunday journal entry.

Happy Cinco de Mayo.

I'm going to try to just watch SFU tonight and not do a running commentary. I told Harvey that I did that and he told me that it sounded like a job- I should just sit back and enjoy it. So I'll try to do that tonight. I'll still tape it though so I can watch it again. I really think there's too much going on to catch it all the first time.

And a lovely scene in the bedroom between David and Keith.

I love that David's standing up for himself.

I like the relationship between Melissa and Brenda again. There's something odd about Melissa, but I liked her today.

I need to stop writing now.

But... everyone's really edgy tonight.

Also love the "conversations" between Ruth and Brenda.

Did not like the ending of this week's show.

Something disturbed my usually quiet Sunday night. I'm not sure what it was. Maybe it was the Verizon workers, except it sounded too loud for that. It sounded like a building was being torn down or something was falling apart. After I looked out my window and saw that nothing unusual was going on and no one else was in a panic, I relaxed and just hoped the noise would stop eventually.

Well, I finally remembered a bit of my dream last night. Part of it involved my teeth falling out, one by one. The front teeth stayed in place, so I didn't look toothless when I smiled. Another part of the dream involved being in some show or game or something like that. There were other parts that I remembered briefly when I woke up but then quickly faded away. At least I remembered something though. I've been missing my dreams.

I got mildly stressed when I made my to-do list this afternoon. It's a little too much, but there's nothing I can eliminate (except relax and sleep time). Besides regular things like work and school, I need to get a bag for Judith (since they only sell it in the States), read guide books and web sites for ideas for my trip, buy a raincoat (hopefully that won't be a big ordeal), write the second act of my play and type the entire thing (I'll start typing it tonight), write my B&B paper (I'm still not getting very far on this and I'm starting to get nervous), get my network card fixed (or get a new one), go to Boston this weekend, talk to someone in the Math department, register for Summer and Fall classes, and make sure I have everything for my trip. I'll feel so good when I board my flight for London. All important deadlines will be over and I can relax (but will still make time on the trip to check my email for any job possibilities)!

My thoughts recently have still been on life and future and choices. And it's still scary. Fortunately, I'll be so busy these next few weeks that I won't have too much time to think.

Tonight is "The Glass Menagerie"! Paula won't be coming up, so if anyone reading this can make it to the American Airlines Theatre this evening around 7:00, I'll have an extra ticket, or email me by 6:00 and let me know if you want it.

I can't believe the cast they had for "The Glass Menagerie"! Patti Duke, Robert Sean Leonard, Samantha Mathis, and Sam Trammell (didn't know who he was)! Anyway, I can appreciate "The Glass Menagerie" Oh, while I was sitting in the theatre waiting for it to start, I saw Mr. Leonard walked around the back of the house. I thought that maybe he enters from the back, but then I remembered it was a reading and he should just be up on stage with the others. Then I saw him meeting his father. It was neat to see him with his father- reminded me that he's just a regular guy. I wanted to ask him if he's currently working on anything, but I didn't want to bother him before the performance.

I felt very relaxed tonight. Usually I get irritated with all the tourists causing me to walk slower than I would like, or I get irritated with the unwanted attention I get from construction workers or other random men standing around on the streets. Plus, for most of the show, I had a seat in the last row on the aisle with no one next to me (a man sat next to me for half of Act I and all of Act II, but he was quiet and didn't take up any of my seat). There were two women in front of me during Act I, but I guess they went somewhere else for Act II. And my eyes were doing much better than the were on Sunday! I could see fairly well, even from the last row (at least I wasn't in the mezzanine, which has a steep rake and I had trouble seeing from up there at the last reading). And the audience was polite! I was sitting in the orchestra with all of the people who donate money to Roundabout rather than in the mezzanine with most of the other Hiptix members (I guess because I only got one ticket instead of taking 2 and finding someone who wanted it- that option seemed easier). Anyway, I guess people who donate money to theatres are more polite and refined than all the people I've encountered recently who have absolutely no respect for the performers or the audience around them. What a pleasure. Anyway, all of these things contributed to my relaxed state.

And another thing, I think this was a good show for me to see right now. Watching Laura and listening to her mother's comments and Jim's comments as well made me feel better about my own life and situation in which I currently find myself. I could go on about this, but my time needs to be spent with more urgent matters.

I had a restless night though. It took me forever to fall asleep- did a lot of tossing and turning. And I woke up several times throughout the night (well, it was really morning). Fortunately, I had no trouble getting up this morning though. And now I feel surprisingly energetic.

One thing is worrying me though. Every once in a while, I get a mini-period in between periods and now is one of those times. It seems worse this time though which is why I'm a little nervous. The mini-period only lasts a day or two, but it still is unusual. Maybe it's really just my stomach problems- stomach lining tearing or something. I really should go to a doctor. Yeah, one of these days I will. Maybe I'll make an appointment in July and go in August. I'll just have to somehow find a good one to go to. Anyone have any suggestions?

Glad I wrote in my journal the hours for the Math department advising- that was convenient. I couldn't remember, it wasn't on their website, and getting through to someone on the phone at this place is next to impossible. And I have to talk to them and get an answer (hopefully you actually get an answer right away since you actually have to wait to talk to an advisor rather than just submit your transcript info) today so I can register for Summer classes on the 9th.

AND... it looks like I'll need to go to Toronto for work. That will be in mid June and if I need to do that plus work the next week at the Four Seasons, then it would be nice if I only needed to take one class (Psych) instead of two (Psych and Math). But if I do need to take Math (which I'm 95% sure I will), then I'll just have to get my work done ahead of time and take work with my on the plane (although flying to Toronto is not a long flight).

I'm still feeling fairly happy today. I think that show last night really did some good! Thank you Roundabout!

Speaking of Roundabout, I decided to get more information on their volunteer program. I figured that if I want to get a position as a casting intern next year, why not there? And if I want to intern there, I thought it would be helpful if I get myself known by volunteering- that way maybe I'll have an advantage over other people wanting the intern position.

I started typing my play last night. I wish I had more time to work on it. I keep thinking about all these things I want to do. You can write something really good in a few months (not that I've actually been working on it consistently for those months). I guess I'll just have to turn in something that needs a lot of work (I'm too much of a perfectionist, but I'll have to try not to care) and hopefully continue working on it later on. Maybe if I have to take a playwrighting class, I can use it as a project for that. Or I'll just continue tweaking it and maybe try to get it published one day in the future.

Right now I have Dave Matthews' "Drive In Drive Out" in my head.

Woke up singing "Two's Company" from "The Magic Show".

Yesterday in theatre Michael asked for volunteers to stand up and talk about something we knew a lot about. After thinking for a few minutes, and after Michael said to think about what we like to do when we get home (and someone said they liked to sleep), I decided that I would talk about sleep- the stuff I learned in my B&B class. I did have to look at my notes for a second to look up one thing, but in general, I was able to remember enough from memory (thanks to my hippocampus) to talk about it. I was impressed with myself. And everyone was interested in my topic- they kept asking questions. It was fun.

Before class, Michael talked to me about going to talk to the Chair of the Theatre department in the Fall so he can point me in the right direction. I guess I should do that, but I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously when I tell him I don't want to do any performing or tech work- if I'm going to be in the theatre industry, I really just want to be a casting director. Maybe I'll wait until January, after I've taken the theatre production course, so I can see what I really need to talk to him about.

Then I went to the Math department and had to talk to that nasty woman who works there (although I don't know what she actually does- every time I'm there, she's having social conversations). She made me stand there for 5 minutes while she finished gabbing and then when I asked to talk to an advisor, she told me the hours were on the door. It was 3:40 and I had to come back at 4:00 (I thought being early would be a good thing- obviously not). So I came back at 4:00 and she made me wait for a while again while she caught up on the latest gossip. She told me I was in the wrong place and told me I had to go to another room. I found the other room and it was locked. Finally a man strolled up to the door and unlocked it. I finally got to give him my transcripts and he told me my class was incorrectly titled and would be of no use at Hunter. He told me that they don't teach anything like that and he couldn't give me credit. I asked if I could just use it as general elective credits like I did for the other classes that don't transfer and he said no. That makes no sense. The Math department makes no sense! So I guess I'll be taking Math 100 in the Summer. Now I'm just praying that by the time I'm allowed to register, there's still space available in the one time they offer it. So I left the Math department in a pissy and angry mood.

I just went to the 4th floor of the North building (where I have my jazz class) early. I thought I could sit in the hallway and work on my play a little bit. Michael was walking down the hallway so I waved hello. He came over to talk for a minute. He was very laid back and friendly which was a pleasure after dealing with the obnoxious Math department. At least most of the people I've dealt with in the theatre department seem okay. That is where I'll be spending most of my time for the next few years- not the Math department.

My B&B teacher can't make it to our last class so we only have one more class left. I will appreciate getting home early that last day, but I'll miss that class. I really enjoyed it.

I went through my mail today!

I was thinking about going to get a new network card today, but I think working on my play is more important. The network is still functional, so it's not urgent. I'll deal with it next week.

Paula and Harvey are in town for the day, so I'm meeting them for a quick dinner at Kiiroi-Hana tonight. The service might be inconsistent, but their food is excellent.

Tomorrow I will try to write most of Act II of my play before classes and I also need to pack. Friday morning I leave for Boston!

There is a most obnoxious noise going on in my building. Or maybe it's right outside, I don't know. There's drilling and pounding and it's been going on all day.

Last night I went to Kiiroi-Hana with Paula and Harvey. I decided to get shrimp since even though I don't like it, it has iodine which is one of the things I'm supposed to be getting more of. Well, I hardly ate any of it since I didn't really like it, but I must have had enough of it to make me sick. A few hours after I got home, I got really sick. Not fun. I feel mostly better today. I'm not sure why it made me sick. Maybe I'm allergic to it since Harvey ate a few of them and was fine. I also just read that shrimp has iron in it, so maybe since I've been cutting iron out of my diet, my body wasn't used to it and rejected it (although I really did not eat that much- maybe 4 pieces). I don't know. All I know is that I won't be eating shrimp again (at least not for a long time). what I will be trying to eat is: carrots, eggs, milk, cheese, berries, grapes, soy sauce, rice, and frozen yoghurt.

After I got home and before I got sick, I watched last week's episode of SFU again. It's never as good the second time, but at least I can catch a few things I didn't catch the first time. For instance, the first time I watched it, I didn't notice Claire's friend take the phone number for more information on making money doing phone sex after pointing out the flier to Claire.

So I didn't get to work on my play last night. I was going to try to stay up late and wake up late so I can stay up all night tonight and take the early bus to Boston (and sleep on the bus since I can't do much else on a bus). That didn't happen since I got sick. Maybe I'll get some coffee (I know I shouldn't drink caffeine, but once in a while can't hurt) tonight after class. I have plenty of stuff to occupy myself with after I get home (writing my play, working, packing, I could watch a movie...), so maybe I can stay up all night and take the early bus. But knowing myself, I'll probably get tired around 4:00 or 5:00 and fall asleep and have trouble waking up at 8:00 to take the 11:00 bus. We'll see...

In 30 minutes, I can register for Summer classes. Wish me luck!

I managed to register for both of the classes I needed- Math and Psychology! So I'll be taking Math 100 and Human Sexuality (sounds more interesting than it probably is- maybe I'll get a good teacher?). Doesn't matter- it's only for 6 weeks, and at the end of 6 weeks, I'll have 6 credits! Summer classes may be hell (especially if you work as well), but it's worth it (I just need to remember to tell myself that midway through when I'm stressing about all the work).

We finally got our jazz papers back. I got an A, but damn is he picky. He made corrections that weren't correct; I was right. Again, it doesn't matter; I got the A.

I'm gonna miss my B&B class. It really was enjoyable to sit in a room of mostly intelligent people, learning about a fascinating subject from a man who made it understandable and interesting. We finished up talking about drug addiction and briefly touched upon depression. I think part of the reason ecstasy and other energy drugs seem so amazing is because part of the time you're on it is during hours when you're not normally awake. Being awake at 4:00 AM when you're not used to it can be strange in itself. Add the drug, and you're in for a heightened experience!!!

So I picked up some caffeine on the way home and prepared myself for a long night. The long night went very quickly! I worked for a few hours. It was nice working without that added pressure of I-have-to-go-to-bed soon. Then I tried to watch last year's "Broadway on Broadway", but the fact that I taped it September 10 made it impossible for me to watch. Looking back, I almost feel worse about September 10 than September 11. It feels weird looking at events from that day, knowing in hindsight that it was the last "normal" day we would have for an undetermined amount of time. I don't like to think about what I was doing that day and I don't like to hear what other people were doing that day either. Anyway, after I turned off the tape, I found Josh online. That was just what I needed. I chatted with him for at least an hour while doing a little research for my play. Then I tried to see if anything was on TV. There wasn't. So I goofed off online for a few minutes, and then I started working on my play. I was mainly worried about starting Act II (which I shouldn't call Act II, since it's only a one act play, but it's the second part, after a musical interlude). Anyway, I finally figured out where I wanted to start that part and wrote the first scene while waiting for my jazz class to start. Knowing the rest of the story and finally finding a starting place for the second part made me feel much better. Seeing all this theatre this weekend will inspire me to write the rest of it in Boston. So last night/this morning was spent seriously tweaking part one. I fixed all the problems, made the dialogue sound better, and added 2 more scenes. I'm really beginning to like it. It still needs more elements to it which just won't be added in this draft, but that's okay. It's just a project for school right now; I'll turn it into something better hopefully one day in the near future. I can't wait to finish it this weekend! After I finished that up, it was 5:30. I wasn't tired, but I couldn't bring myself to pack yet. Packing with the variety of weather just sounded too difficult on no sleep. So I had some more caffeine and tried again at 6:30. In order to catch the 9:00 bus, I would have to leave around 7:45. That wasn't happening with still needing to organise, pack, and get ready to go. So I decided not to rush and to take the 11:00 bus. Sure, that gets me to Boston two hours later, but I really don't need extra time in Boston. The main point of taking the earlier bus was to sleep on it. I think I should be tired enough to sleep on the 11:00 one.

So now I will finish writing this, order flowers for Mother's Day (on Neil's wonderful suggestion- thanks Neil!), and then get ready to go!

Random comment: At some point this morning, I had "Grizabella: The Glamour Cat" from "Cats" in my head. Yuck- I really don't like that song. Fortunately, it didn't stick around too long.

Another random comment: RCN replaced the Sundance Channel with some Tech channel. Lovely. Just what we need- less good movies and more stupid tech shows talking about old tech news geared toward beginners.

Okay, gotta run! Hopefully I'll be able to write a long entry when I get home Monday afternoon before the MRP meeting and after that, Chris Pan's show- dedicated to his father, John Launois, who passed away this weekend (peacefully in his sleep) at the age of 73. But I can only do those things if I finish the entire play (including editing and proofreading) Sunday night at Rebecca's (shouldn't be a problem... famous last words...)

The longer I wait to update this thing, the longer it will take. So I'll just take the time now. I made some notes on my trip, so that will make it a little easier.

I guess Fung Wah added a 10:00 bus since I got down there at a few minutes before 10:00 and was on the bus and heading toward Boston a few minutes later. I dozed on and off for the ride, trying to ignore the guy behind me talking in Russian on his mobile phone for almost the entire ride. There were only 5 people on the bus and he had to choose the seat behind me. It was too dangerous to change seats- those drivers seriously tailgate- makes me nervous.

So I got to Chinatown around 2:30 (there was a lot of traffic heading out of the city) and took the T to the COOP. That places has gotten worse- they took away the couches, the food is worse, and their book choies seem more limiting (I think there is more fiction and less of everything else). I read the few guidebooks they had for an hour. I can't believe they didn't have any books on Belgium. And they only had 2 crappy ones on Scotland and a few on Amsterdam (with almost no information on the rest of The Netherlands). At least I was able to help out Rebecca by picking up a book for her cousin in England that they ordered for her, so she had one less thing to do before her trip.

After I left, I met Rebecca at Davis Square and we headed down to Chinatown to meet Kristin and Seth for dinner. I wasn't that hungry so I just had a couple of pork dumplings and a few bites of rice.

"Copenhagen" was wonderful to see again! The actors were almost identical to the Broadway cast- especially Hank Stratton, who played Heisenberg- his voice was exactly like Michael Cumpsty. The main problem I had was sitting in the mezzanine. There was absolutely no leg room (and I have short legs). Plus the guy in front of me somehow managed to lean his chair back (no one else could do this) and that kept pushing my knee out of place. By the end of the show, my knee was a mess (and still was a mess until Monday). And I don't remember there being so much dialogue about skiiing. Maybe Frayn added to that, or maybe I just don't remember it. After the show, they had a discussion with the actors and Heisenberg's son. I was excited about it until 15 minutes into it, they kicked everyone out of the theatre. So we didn't learn much, unfortunately. The main thing I learned is that Hank Stratton is such a stereotypical actor- very dramatic and monopolised most of the short discussion.

Rebecca went home after the show and I tried to hang out in Davis Square. I tried one bar but didn't like it. I tried a cafe but they were closing. I wound up at Diesel Cafe and stayed there for a few minutes before taking a cab back to Rebecca's. Somerville (and Boston in general) closes too early.

I finally met Rebecca's roommate, Kate. We didn't talk much, but she seems okay. She's into a lot of interesting things but tries too hard to seem interesting.

Saturday afternoon, I went to Tea Tray in the Sky. It was okay at first, but then it got crowded and the already slow waitress became practically non-existent, so I left earlier than I had planned. The entire time I was there though, I had "Always True to You" from "Kiss Me Kate" in my head. I guess because I had to take the T to the Back Bay stop: "I enjoy a tender pass, By the boss of Boston, Mass., Though his pass is middle-class and not Back Bay...". There were a lot of guys walking around Arlington with babies. I almost never see men with babies- it's always mothers and nannies pushing strollers.

After Tea Tray, I took the bus to Harvard Square and then the T to Back Bay. I walked in the direction of the theatre and found this cute little French Cafe- Le Gamin. The menu listed their other locations and it turns out that was the only location in Boston but they have several locations in New York. I wonder if they have the same atmosphere as the one in Boston. I'm sure they're more crowded- I was there on a Saturday afternoon and there was only one couple, one single guy, and me. And the waitress is awesome! She seemed concerned that my mimosa wasn't okay- I assured her it was. And the crepe I had was good. And they had comfortable benches to sit on with a row of magazines behind it. And the waitress was cute too. The guy next to me had steak that smelled delicious.

Saturday was a better day that Friday. Friday had too many little things that were irritating.

And while New York has its share of beautiful people, Boston has cute and handsome people that are actually real- unlike all the plastic and pretentious people in New York.

And Saturday was a gorgeous day! I hadn't seen that much sun since I was in Spain or something.

I'm glad I got to see "Passion". It certainly wasn't my favourite story and it wasn't my favourite music of Sondheim's, but parts of it were lovely. And I liked the way they worked with the space they had (it was a black box theatre with a pole in the middle of the stage). I got to sit in the front row in a seat all by itself. I felt a little singled out (it really wasn't that noticeable), but then appreciated the room after the uncomfortable experience at the Colonial Theatre the night before.

And I have to go back to SpeakEasy in January. They're doing "The Shape of Things"!!! I would love to see that again!!!

After the show, I went to Summer Shack on Paula's recommendation. It was a Saturday night so it was extremely crowded, but I was able to get a seat at the end of the bar. It was freezing in there, but the food was okay and I had some friendly conversation with the people next to me (a father and daughter).

That night, rather than work on my play, I hung out with Rebecca. I helped her organise her clothes for her trip- that was the blind leading the blind- both of us are pretty horrible in the clothes department.

Sunday it rained all day.

We drove to Wellsley to see the car interior exhibit. Wellsley is a nice town- a little too many chain stores, but there were some fun looking shops and restaurants and the architecture is gorgeous! Their town hall is the most imposing town hall I've ever seen- took a picture of it. The car exhibit was small and not too exciting, but I'm glad we got to look around for a few minutes.

Then we went to see "The Real Thing". It wasn't the most amazing production I've seen, but it's still Stoppard and they did a fairly good job with it. It put me in a writing mood, which was good. As we were waiting for the show to start, we saw a man walk in. I thought it looked like Bob (from the guy I've seen in a few shows in Boston now) and Rebecca agreed with me. Since Rebecca agreed, I decided that it really might be him- unlike most of the time when I think I recognise someone. So I went over to see if it was him, and it was indeed. It was great to finally meet him. He seems like a sweet guy.

After the show, Rebecca dropped me off in Davis Square and I went to PJ Ryan's to write. I didn't a tiny bit of writing and spent the rest of the time talking to some guy at the bar. He was a bit annoying, but for some reason I decided talking to him would be more fun than writing my play.

I got to Rebecca's and after talking to her for a bit, I wrote the rest of my play. I think I wrote from about 10-2. It felt so good to write the last scene!

Monday morning it was raining again so I decided to take the train, rather than the bus (those drivers are scary enough when it's not raining). The train left on time but got in 50 minutes late. Part of the ride the train was moving so slowly I think I could have run faster. I had the Moody Blues' "The Actor" in my head while sitting on the train editing my play.

And I decided that when they're general seating, women who are sitting alone are more likely to have someone sit down next to them than men. I guess women like to sit next to women since they feel it's more safe and men take seats next to women because they're generally smaller so they won't have someone taking up part of their seat. On the train home, there were 5 men sitting near me enjoying the empty seat next to them. My empty seat got filled immediately.

So I got home Monday night and decided I shouldn't go out to the MRP meeting or to hear Chris' band- too tired, too rainy, too much to do. Oh well, maybe next time. I got my new mouse! Very exciting!

I didn't want to make the changes on my play Monday night- but I finally got started about 9:00 and by 10:30 I was all finished. I like it. It's not a masterpiece (yet), but it's rather good (still wish I could write like Stoppard though). Maybe one day in the not-so-distant future, I can rework it and make it amazing. The world needs more plays without the latest contemporary social issues!

I got an interesting email from a guy who is trying to find his lost brother. From the way I described this guy Zach, that I met in Phoenix one night through Brie, he thought it might be his brother. It wasn't. Too bad- it would be interesting if my site could reconnect two brothers.

I think more and more people are learning to search for themselves (or someone they know) on the Internet. I've been keeping my journal for 2 years, and until recently, I've only had a handful of people find my page by searching for their name. Now I keep getting more and more people either finding their own names or their friends' names. I guess it does take some time for most trends to reach the masses. Who is the latest person to find my site? Troy from Liberty Showcase. When I wrote about him the one time in my journal, I mentioned that he probably wouldn't remember me, but he signed my guestbook and told me he did indeed remember me. See, I always think people won't remember me but more often than not, they do remember. Anyway, I guess this really is the year (my years start sometime in the Fall) of reconnecting with people from my past (Troy, Meital, Noha, Alix, Rebeka, Kim, Dana, Mark, Joan, Allyson...).

I watched this past week's SFU last night. Here are the random comments I wrote while watching:
- No matter how out of control I've felt in my life (including 1997- my year from hell), it was never as bad as what Nate is dealing with right now- brain tumour, relationship problems, getting sued... I'm glad it's just TV.
- The rabbi (Ari) is growing on me.
- Scenes were too short in this episode.
- That was a haunting image- Ruth, Nate, and David standing in the empty room.
- It's nice to see someone (Parker) supportive of Claire's thoughts and ideas- even though she's not really a great person.
- Wow! Claire and Parker are terrific acting like they've just taken shrooms.
- What a nice touching real Mother's Day moment with Ruth and Claire.
- I think Nate is Ruth's favourite- she never seems to find fault with him.
- I'm trying to care about Nate and Brenda's relationship, but I just can't.
- What was the point of having the Fisher's get sued if they conveniently wrapped it up in less than one episode?

I had a flashback last night of driving around Lake Havasu with Leo at 4:00 in the morning. What a fun, random night that was.

There was an article in this week's New York Magazine that talked about how single women in Manhattan are ready to have children. New Yorkers do love their trends, and with such a large population, there could be a baby boom in this city very soon.

Tomorrow is "Attack of the Clones"!!! But before that I will go read guidebooks and after that I will go get the bag for Judith.

And I don't need to look for a raincoat since Paula is a wonderful person and lending me hers!

Random comment: What's with all the Commedia Dell'Arte shows in the city right now?

I watched SFU again last night. It was just as good again (some episodes aren't as good the second time). I really think it's the best television show EVER and will miss it when this season ends.

Wow- not only did Tampa Bay finally win a game, they beat the Yankees.

Finally- Weather Underground added Celcius to their temperature listnings.

I finally remembered a lot of my dream this morning. I don't remember much now, but I remember having a conversation with Harvey about my old Orioles towel that I think Paula threw away. I loved that towel. I used to use it when dying my hair, so it had black, purple, and other various colours all over it. I know that part of the dream came from talking to Rebecca about it when I was up there last weekend.

So today is "Attack of the Clones"! But first I will go to Borders (since Barnes and Noble is out of the way) and buy a book on Scotland. Then I need to go do some research on a few buildings all in the same area (between Madison & 5th, 53th & 56th). Then I'll head over to the Zigfeld Theatre and wait in line while reading my guidebook. Then after the movie, I'll go to Macys to get that bag for Judith- I really hope they have it. Then I'll stop by Borders to return the guidebook (is it wrong to borrow a book from a bookstore for a few hours if you take good care of it?) before heading home.

Oh how did it get so late? Gotta run...

Oh, and it was a fun group of people at the theatre. Everyone applauded when Yoda first appeared and cheered when Samuel L. Jackson got out his purple lightsaber... And when they showed the preview for the new "Matrix" movie (which keeps getting postponed and that's getting annoying), everyone was ecstatic!

So I got to the theatre at 1:15 (pretty good, considering I left here around 12:40, went to Borders, and went to check out three buildings before getting to the theatre) and the line was just turning onto 6th Ave from 54th St. By 3:15, the line grew to all the way around 55th St., I think. By the time I got into the theatre, it was still half empty, so I was able to get a good seat in the balcony- one with no one in front of me, so I had no obstructions. Lucky me! See, you didn't need to get in line at 8:00 like the people in the front did. There was a guy next to me in line reading a book on Heisenberg- very cool! I asked him how it was but he said he just started it. Would have liked to talk to him longer, but he was with friends and looked like he didn't want to be bothered.

Went to Macys after the movie which was a waste. They did not have the bag Judith is looking for. So I went through all that traffic (vehicle traffic and pedestrian, moron traffic) for nothing. Oh well, not a big deal. Then I went to return the books before coming home.

Now I'm home and it feels like a Friday night for some reason. And all day I thought it was Wednesday. I really have problems with the days of the week. Wednesday, Sunday, Tuesday, Friday, Thursday- what's the difference?

When I first got home, I was still hyped up about the movie, so I thought it would be fun to watch the Trilogy tonight. But now that I've calmed down a bit, I realise that it would be way too time consuming and I should do more important things (like work). Maybe I'll take a day in August to watch all 3 (and maybe rent "Phantom Menace" too and do all 4). But the way I'm filling up my August, I probably won't take the time to do that (I probably won't remember anyway).

But even though I'm not going to watch 3 movies tonight, I thought it could be fun to watch one, since it does feel like a Friday (a good night for movie watching). Maybe there will be something on TV.

Oh, and a random comment: When I was in Boston, two people told me to smile- once at a convenience store and once at a bar. I forgot that in most parts of the world, people expect people to smile 24 hours a day. I love New York- no one ever tells me to smile here!

Rather than watch a movie last night, I looked up Census data for my tract. That was fun, but would have been more fun if it was done last year. I think this neighbourhood has changed quite a bit since 2000. I also checked out my tract in Phoenix since that's where I filled out my form (and worked for the Census for a litle while- that was fun).

"Always True to You" from "Kiss Me Kate" is a song that really gets stuck in your head for a while. I'm getting rather sick of it right now.

Just got in the mood to go to a Rex Sox game (especially if they're playing the Yankees). It would be great if Jon could come up here for a game in July. I still can't believe he's never been to Yankee Stadium (or any stadium besides Camden Yards for that matter). For someone who's a huge baseball fan and does his fair share of travelling, it's very surprising.

I thought of a neat idea (if I remember) for my trip. When I take pictures of people/places/things, I'll turn around to take a picture of what's behind it. I did that once (took a picture from in front of the New York Public Library's main branch), and I liked it. For some reason I find it interesting to know what's behind the interesting thing of which you're taking a picture.

Thou Shalt Not Has a Recording, But Only for Tony Voters- So Far: I can't believe Conick wants to continue composing for Broadway. Hopefully it won't be a three-strikes-and-your-out thing; we don't need more flops (not that the failure of "Thou Shalt Not" was entirely his fault). And about the cast recoring given to TONY voters- I wonder if us regular people can come by a copy.

I was reading my entry from a year ago and read that I had a song from "Talented Mr. Ripley" in my head. So I decided to try to find an mp3 of it. I learned it's called "Tu Vuo' Fa l'Americano" and downloaded it last night. It's really a rather catchy, fun tune.

I also read that I was mixing up Wednesdays and Fridays on this day a year ago (see, I knew I was in the same place I was in a year ago). So maybe that's why for part of yesterday it felt like Wednesday and part of it felt like Friday. But it was Thursday. And I don't know what it feels like today. I guess it kind of feels like Friday, although when I woke up, I thought it was Tuesday.

Sometimes I wish I could not have to be on any sort of schedule for 6-8 weeks and see what my circadian rhythm turns into. But I can't imagine ever having that amount of time to not have any committments. I mean, not one scheduled event for 6-8 weeks. I don't think it would be worth doing for a shorter amount of time since it takes about a month for your rhythm to be a day off. But maybe since my rhythm is so screwed up, I don't need a full month. Maybe I could take a week in August. No, I think I've completely filled up my August (shame, since some of that month I was supposed to schedule some down time). Nevermind, it's only the middle of May- I don't need to be thining about this now.

And I love the dream I had a year ago. I miss having (or remembering, anyway) bizarre dreams like that.

I thinking last night about how I try to hold onto thoughts and memories so I can make sure I have a clear picture of everything before I move on to the next thought (talking to myself, writing things down...). I realised (although, I've sort of thought about it before) how exhausting it is. So last night I tried to not have to hold onto each thought. I know writing all this down is part of what's exhausting, so I'm going to stop now. My right eye is really green today. No idea why- usually it only gets brighter or lighter or changes to blue or something when I'm somewhere where the sun is strong.

Last night's dream involved smoking Thai sticks with Troy at Sylvia's apartment. Wish I could remember about it as much as I remembered this morning.

I woke up at 7:15 and after going to bed around 4:00, I made myself go back to sleep. I shouldn't have done that- I should have just gotten out of bed the first time. The second time I woke up I was exhausted and didn't want to get out of bed.

And I woke up singing "Molasses to Rum" from "1776".

I'm getting so frustrated with this stupid B&B paper. I finally got the abstracts to a few articles that I can somehow fit together to make a paper (after about 8 hours of research), and now I can't get to the full text of the articles (some you have to have sent to you at a research library and first you have to get a library number and pay a fee, some you have to register at certain websites to get and it costs $40...). Since I found them through the NIH website, I'm going to call Mark Schiffman and see if he has easy access to the articles and can email them to me. I probably won't even use the articles to write the paper since I can basically write it from the abstracts, but we have to turn in copies of the articles we use with the paper. If he can't, I'm back to square one.

Since I didn't watch a movie last night, I think I'll watch one tonight.

And I'm pissed off about frequent flier programs. American Airlines hadn't credited my last trip to London so I sent them the flight information. I got a postcard saying that you can't get miles for British Airways transatlantic. How stupid! So now I'm flying them again in a few weeks, and I won't get miles for that either. And the British Airways site is being stupid and not letting me get info on their frequent flier program. Guess I'll have to remember to try again later. I can probably sign up and then get credit for my previous flight and this coming flight (most of them let you get miles for past flights up until some amount of time). Then I'm assuming you can combine miles from partners to book an awards flight.

I'm not watching a movie tonight. I couldn't find anything that sounded like something I wanted to watch. I think the main problem was that I didn't want to watch anything by myself. So instead, what have I been doing? Catching up on email, working, and playing Trivia games.

I should probably get in touch with Meital sometime soon. We still haven't gone swing dancing. But I'm leaving in a week. Guess I should wait until I get back. In fact, I should probably wait until I get back from Toronto since I'll be going there a week after I get back from Scotland/Belgium/Holland.

And now I'm smelling Drakar cologne )because I just emailed Troy and remembered that he used to wear it).

Last night I randomly decided to light candles and get stoned. It was quite enjoyable. And it was pouring again, which made the atmosphere in my living room even more wonderful.

And last night I realised how I was right about it being easy to live in the Eastern Time Zone. I was just trying to figure out what time it was in Phoenix and couldn't remember if Daylight Savings Time meant Phoenix was two hours behind us or three. It's so nice not to worry about those things anymore.

Last night's dream- I was at Paula and Harvey's house and there were a lot of people over. The house looked a lot different and I liked it. In the upstairs hallway were double doors leading outside. Somehow the platform outside the doors slanted down enough to be able to get to ground level easily. I asked Paula why she didn't have it loke that when I was living there- it would have made it easy to sneak in and out; not that I had to sneak in and out- was always able to come and go through the front door (with a few exceptions). During the entire time at their house, I was trying to find a place to smoke a bowl. I tried the bathroom and someone kept trying to come in. I tried Paula and Harvey's closet in their bedroom, but Maxine was asleep on the floor right next to the closet. I tried outside, but there were people everywhere. Then several of us were going to the state fair. I think Rebecca was the one driving and it had just stopped raining so there was plenty of parking available. Rebecca was trying to show us her knowledge of music or something like that. I went to the bar and ordered some fruity Hawaian drink and thought about whether or not I could find a place to smoke at the fair. Then I woke up.

Then I had a not very pleasant conversation with Paula about my B&B paper and that put me in a not-so-great mood. And this grey weather is not improving my mood. Guess this will just be a gloomy/sour mood day.

I did get to talk to today Kristin though. Rebecca called me last night and I couldn't answer because my phone battery died and I can't call overseas on my mobile so I had to wait until today to call. Kristin answered the phone just as they were driving by the Uffington White Horse- how cool. Oh, the reason Rebecca called was because she wanted to know about how I felt about staying in a hotel with shared bathrooms. I told them I prefered an en-suite bathroom but would do a shared bathroom if it was necessary. They felt the same way, and I'm hoping they can find an inexpensive room with en-suite bathrooms.

My phone has been acting up, so I bought another battery for it last night. Hopefully that will help.

Geocities is doing maintenance this weekend, so I can't upload this until sometime on Sunday (hopefully it won't take longer than they say it will).

I was just lying on the couch, looking at the picture on the wall of Stonehenge at night, and thinking about how Kristin, Christina, and Rebecca are enjoying themselves in merry ol' England. I wonder if they went to Stonehenge. I think about how I will be in the UK in 7 days. Really looking forward to Scotland! Especially going out to Stirling and staying in a pseudo-castle in Fintry. Most foreign destinations I've been to have been large cities (except for some small towns in Spain, Morocco, Israel and Macau), so I'm looking forward to exploring the countryside in Scotland. Maybe I'll be able to take a nice evening walk around our loding in Fintry. And I'm looking forward to visiting a small city in the Netherlands (just need to figure out where I should go for my day trip).

Ah! Mystery solved. This morning I had a song in my head, but I couldn't remember who did it. I knew it contained the words tangerine and vaseline and came out in the early 90's, but that's it. Then just now I was looking at a website and it said the words flaming lips. I'm pretty sure that's who did the song about tangerines- The Flaming Lips. Can anyone confirm this?

I have "I'll Do Anything" from "Oliver" in my head.

And I'm finding myself talking like Yoda today.

I found a website that has kelp extract but you have to call to order and they're only open Monday-Friday. So by the time I get back from Europe, I'll be able to start taking it. Hope it's not too nasty and hope it works.

I have to remember to register for the Fall semester tomorrow at 5:00.

I'm starting to get organised for my trip. Today I bought socks (I can't believe it's still socks weather- when is it going to warm up and stay warm for more than 10 hours a week? Tomorrow I need to drop off some things at the dry cleaners.

SFU tonight! So sad there are only 2 episodes left of this season. I'll definitely miss it- it's the icing on the cake of the best day of the week.

I'm still trying to find articles for my B&B paper. Well, I'm finally finding articles, but I'm still not sure how to link them together and form a paper.

Then I was just going through my mail and got my bank statement. I learned that the IRS deposited all of my estimated deposits for the upcoming year even though each check was specifically marked with the date it should be deposited. That was not a small amount of money! It was just a coincidence that I even had that amount of money in my checking account. At least I don't have to worry about insufficient funds again. Guess I'll be dealing with that tomorrow on top of work and studying and running errands and working on my paper.

This week will be a very busy week.

On a positive note, I love the CUNY program on Public Access TV with the American Theatre Wing panel discussions. I watched 5 minutes yesterday and saw John Guare, Peter Parnell, and others and today I watched for 5 minutes and saw Mercedes Ruehl, John Lithgow, and others. Wonderful.

Oh yeah, and I updated my show list to add the things I've seen this year, and also added my reading list from this year.

I miss eating cereal.

Who were all those people at Brenda's parents' vow renewal thing?

Love the scene with Keith, David, and the social worker!

Again I didn't recognise Billy until there was a reference to who he was.

When I saw Nate and Brenda in the elevator, I thought they were gonna have sex.

I'm so glad someone finally told Claire how beautiful she is.

I thought Keith was going to get back on track. Guess we can't all the characters doing well at once.

I like the new side of Rico.

I finally am liking Nate again.

Wow! Intense scene with Nate and Brenda.

What a beautiful final scene with Ruth, Lisa, and baby Maya.

And nice that they kept the music from the last scene rather than using the theme music for the credits.

And they're making this season finale seem like the finale finale. I was assuming there would be a season 3. Will there not be?

Now I need to finish up some stuff and then hopefully get to bed before 4:00 (haven't been doing a good job of that lately).

Well, today started out nicely.

Woke up singing "Stars and the Moon" from "Songs for a New World", but I think I gave it different lyrics in my dream or something since when I woke up, it took a minute before I realised what song it was. And then all morning I had songs from "Chess" in my head. And I still don't know why I always write about this stuff.

So I got a lot done between 8:00 & 1:00. I did some work, dropped off a roll of film, went to the dry cleaners, did some studying at Norma's (YUM!!!), went to get a little souvenir/trinket thing for Judith (it's a little decorative plate of Times Square- extremely tacky but a lot of people seem to like those things- hope Judith does), picked up some things at Duane Reade (like hair colour for when I dye my hair on Wednesday), picked up my pictures (they're not great as usual- I wonder if it's Fromex developing that makes them turn out so lousy- I'm going to try a new place next time to see), and then came home and called Mark about my tax situation. I love free advise from a knowledgable accountant- thanks Mark! And he told me I could call any time! For some reason, he seems to really like me- he hardly knows me though ;)

Okay, so until about 1:00, it was a great day. Then the trouble started...

They're drilling in my building again. It's extremely obnoxious. It gave me a headache and made me a little sick to my stomach. I took a shower, but I think that just made it worse.

A side note: more weird smells in my apartment- today my shower smelled like maple syrup.

So even though the drilling was making me sick, I had no choice but to stay home- I needed to work on my research paper. No luck. I have spent way too many hours on this thing and it's driving me crazy that I have nothing to show for it. I decided to work on it tomorrow at school in between the theatre final and jazz final (I'll just do all my studying for jazz tonight instead of saving some time for that tomorrow). I'll use the school computer which can get me access to journal articles I don't have a membership for. Hopefully I can get something accomplished, but if I don't, then I don't. The main reason I want to do a decent paper is so my GPA isn't hopelessly lowered. But then I started thinking, "So what if I don't have a super GPA? If I do indeed go into casting, then my GPA won't matter. If I do one day need to go to grad school (God knows what for), my GPA won't be the only thing they're looking at- plus it will be several years between graduating college and possibly going to grad school. Then I started thinking about how old that will make me and that's when I REALLY started getting depressed. Then I started thinking about getting a job in casting and what they'll be looking for (someone older or someone younger). That made me feel a little better. Since they can't ask your age, I can tell them whatever they want to hear. If they want someone younger, I look extremely young (in fact, in one of the pictures I got back today, I swear I look 15- 17 at the oldest- crazy) and since I'll have just graduated college, they'll assume I'm somewhere around 22. If they want someone older, I'll somehow bring up in my interview that I am indeed older than I look. So, yes, that made me feel better. I'm so lucky that I look young. I just have to continue to dye my hair (I was looking in the mirror earlier today and realised how much grey I have on the top of my head where the roots are growing out).

Somewhere in the stress and chaos, I managed to remember that I could register for Fall classes at 5:00. I don't remember what triggered it, but at 5:11 I looked at the clock and jumped to the Hunter website (thank goodness they implemented the register online thing- calling the system is SO FRUSTRATING! Anyway, I was rushing to get the class codes I needed and then started to relax a bit. There are not a thousand people trying to register for the same classes as I am at the exact same time. Either the classes I wanted/needed are already full or they're not. So I slowed down a bit so I didn't make any mistakes and managed to get all three classes I was hoping to take! That's when the day started to get better. I registered for Theatre Production (the class that will own me all semester- countless hours!), Urban Structures (a hell of a lot of work, but it should be interesting), and Children's Literature (hopefully an easy class).

Then I started stressing (briefly) about the jazz final. Could I learn all the music in time? I played snippets of the pieces and realised only two of them sound similar- not bad. The hard bob stuff was much more similar and difficult to differenciate. So I relaxed a bit. Then I thought about how well I did on the last tests and this one won't be any different. Even if I screw up the two pieces that sound similar, that's only at the most, 10 points off- that's still a 90%. That's fine! Even if I do a little worse than that, I should still get an A for the semester (unless he's an asshole about the 2 absences- which I'm assuming/hoping he won't be). So I stopped stressing about that.

So now I just need to study my notes for jazz tonight and I also want to look over the B&B notes just to see what's in store for me on Wednesday.

And I briefly starting thinking about money this evening. If next semester takes up as many hours as it's supposed to, I'll probably have to either stop working completely or only do one or two short-term jobs. First I was okay with this, but the more I think about it, the less happy I become. Sure, I can survive, but I will have to make some cut backs (not travelling would certainly help- that's gonna be hard to give up). But who isn't cutting back these days? So I stopped thinking about it. I'll do what I have to do when I have to do it. Now is not the time I need to be thinking about it.

Okay, time to study.

My moods can change so quickly and completely. I know I was stressed today, but I only remember it as a fact (not a feeling/emotion). This is great when it goes from negative to positive, but not the other way around. I can be in a fantastic mood and have something that makes me angry and not be able to remember the great mood I was in prior to the negative thing. Are other people like this?

Anyway, since I feel so relaxed about things in general right now, I'm going to relax for the rest of the night and then try to get to sleep before 2:00 (but I'll actually be happy if I get in bed by 2:00 and fall asleep by 3:00).

I have Chick Corea's, "Captain Marvel" in my head.

Okay, so it will be more than 2 sentences: I was just thinking about Norbert Leo Butz and how diverse his characters have been (his roles in "Rent", "Thou Shalt Not", and "Last Five Years" have been very different).

And I was getting ready for bed but had to come back and write one more thing (I'd forget to write about it in the morning). I usually can never see similar genes in people. Whenever someone says, "Oh, she has your cheekbones," or something like that, I never can see what they're seeing. Well, today I finally saw something. I was looking in the mirror and realised Dana and I have the same mouth. There, and I thought I didn't look like any of my relatives.

Woke up this morning singing "30/90" from "Tick, Tick... Boom!".

Yesterday morning I was wondering which hemisphere we were living in. It was 40�F when I woke up and did not feel much warmer as the day went on.

Eytan called yesterday morning about something work related and we talked for 2 minutes about non-work stuff (he saw Daniel and Naomi somewhere and they told him about their engagement). So I started thinking: in less than 2 weeks, he'll be in Europe; in less than 2 months he'll be living in DC and doing the computer-programming-school thing. How often am I going to talk to him then? He'll probably just call on important days (birthdays, huge news...), which means we'll be even less close than we already are. And then I thought about how it's easier to accept now than it was a few months ago- maybe because I'm getting used to the idea. I'd probably feel even better about it if I had more close friends like that. I have several people in my life that I'm friendly with and see once in a while, but I really don't have many close friends. And that's not something you can just change. It's hard enough to meet people that you're interested in calling a "friend", it's almost impossible to meet someone who, in a year or two, you'll be interested in calling a "close friend".

Yesterday I was thinking about my memory and how I do things in the order I think of them for proficiency rather than just do things as I think of them. If I did things as I thought of them (even if I'd have a few minutes of wasted time), I'd have less work for my memory (it's hard to keep track of what I need to do and the order in which I should do those things all day long). Maybe that's why I have such a good memory- I'm always giving it a workout!

Had Weather Report's, "Birdland" in my head for hours last night. And I downloaded a few of their songs- they really did some good stuff (and some not-so-good stuff).

And another random song I had in my head last night? "Tug Boat from "Thou Shalt Not".

Last night I saw some headline about Mussina not letting the Jays win, (or something like that) and I was confused. It said the Orioles game was in the bottom of the 1st. Huh? Oh right, I temporarily forgot that Mussina was now here with the Yankees. Oops.

I miss Arrowhead water. Why do they only sell it out west?

So yesterday morning I went to the theatre final to watch 2 performances (a monologue from something by Christopher Durang and a two person scene from "The Women"). That didn't take long at all, fortunately. But unfortunately, he did not have my final project. Guess I can try to remember to pick it up in the Fall.

Then I was exhausted, so rather than go right to the computer lab to work on my paper, I went home. I thought that might be a stupid idea, but I was too tired to care. I got some coffee on the way home, but that didn't help. I rested for an hour or two and then I went back to school. I was still exhausted when I got there, but I managed to spend a little over an hour in the hot & stuffy computer lab looking at articles and finally coming up with a way to write my paper. It may not be exactly what I said I would do in my proposal, but I don't care. It's probably even better than my proposal. So today I'll force myself to write a paper on how melatonin can help various people (blind people, elderly people, and people with jet lag problems) with insomnia.

The jazz final was okay, although many of the questions were poorly worded, so unless I guessed right on all of those (extremely doubtful), I got somewhere between 87-90%. I should get an A in that class. We had some woman give us the final- our instructor was at the hospital with his wife, who was in labour.

So I was tired almost the entire day yesterday and finally started waking up around 11:00 last night. Not good. I made myself get in bed around 1:00, but it took hours to fall asleep and I didn't wake up until 10:00 this morning. So I don't have as long a day today as I would have liked, but nothing I can do about that now. I'm not worried yet though- it's still early. I got some work done this morning and have a little more to finish up. Then maybe around 2:00, I can start working on my paper and as a break, I can study for the final (and maybe I'll take a real break at some point- it'll have to be short though). Oh, and I need to dye my hair at some point today (unless I wait until Friday to do that). Actually, it might be a better idea to do it on Friday since I'll not only have more time, but the colour may take better since I won't be able to wash it again until Sunday morning (UK time). Okay, I'll do that, and I'll just go take a quick shower now.

The only problem is I got an occular migraine about an hour ago. Fortunately it only lasted for about 30 minutes. I think I've figured out that caffeine is somehow related to them. I can think of 4 times that I've gotten one after I had some caffeine. Tonight I only had half a glass of iced tea though, so I don't see why that amount would cause it. And also I've had caffeine countless times and did not get on occular migraine. Okay, I guess there isn't a pattern. But I hate when there's no pattern. But speaking of occular migraines, it reminds me that I should call Dr. Billig and ask him if he can write me a general note about my condition so in case I get one during some important event where I have to prove that I have this condition (like taking a final), I won't have to argue my case. I just have to remember to do that either tomorrow or when I get back from my trip and then I'll have to remember to carry it in my wallet so I'll always have it with me. Now I just have to hope I don't get it tomorrow night (doubtful, but you never know). I'm very fortunate that until now, I've only gotten one at one inconvenient time (although there have been a few times where it was irritating, but they weren't extremely inconvenient). The only time it was very inconvenient (and I still got very lucky) was when I got one right before I had to drive to the Philadelphia airport from Baltimore to fly to Phoenix that night. But fortunately I had booked that flight with miles so it was easy to change my flight to the next day. Lucky!

So now I need to study a little for my final and then finish cleaning the apartment. And I hope to get to sleep earlier than I did last night. The caffeine I had earlier fortunately won't hurt my chance of sleep- I'm still pretty tired.

Then tomorrow I need to study, call about my dry cleaning (it was supposed to be ready today), call Dr. Billig, pay bills, organise the stuff for my trip to make sure I have everything, take down a few more notes for my trip (things to see in Glasgow, where to eat in Edinburgh, how to get to various places, jot down some phone numbers...), make sure I have people's addresses with me so I can send postcards (something I've never been good at), and take my final. And I was hoping to have an hour tomorrow night to watch last week's SFU (it would be a nice, relaxing thing to do after the stress of this week). Then Friday I'll dye my hair, pack, and leave! The Super Shuttle insists on getting here at 3:45 even though my flight doesn't leave until 9:00. Even if it takes 2 hours to pick up everyone and get out of the city during rush hour, I'll still get to the airport 3 hours early. Even with the ridiculously long security lines, I still should have plenty of free time at the airport (well, I'll be bringing a book...). Sure hope my flight is ontime.

I'm getting nervous about all the details I need to do before I leave.

I wrote this last night/this morning around 3:00 AM:
I guess that maybe caffeine did work (or I just got my second wind)- I spent a lot of time tonight goofing off (bad me)- IM-ing Josh, reading my old May journal entries, reading NY TIMES...
Is the government now trying to show us how ridiculous it is to investigate every little suspicious thing that they hear about? Yes, lets have hundreds of alerts coded many different colours causing tons of people to disrupt their day and alter their plans and then move on to the next alert... And tell the people to be alert but to go about their daily business- an easy task. I wonder how things will be in Europe (specifically Scotland, Belgium, and the Netherlands) during the next few weeks? I'm getting nervous.

Okay, onto why I woke up at 7:00 after falling asleep around 5:00.
I had a nightmare with all elements of the dream stemming from something in my waking life. First I was going to see a show (I see a lot of theatre, of course something like this would be in my dream), but I got there late. By the time I got there, it was almost time for the curtain call. There were only 3 people in the audience. I went to get a seat, and all the seats were empty. The 3 people who were there were coming out on stage with the actors for the curtain call. Then there were a few people standing around the back of the house, applauding with me. The show ended and I was talking with some actors in the show. We decided to go out for breakfast and started walking toward the area with restaurants. At the end of the street was a hazy orange glow (from reading last night about orange alerts) and low fighter planes (looked like something in "Attack of the Clones") coming from that direction. We decided to walk in the direction in which they were flying. I called Paula on my cell phone as I was walking to see if she knew what was going on. I wound up talking to Harvey and told me that I should walk West since the planes were flying East and I should go in the opposite direction. I told him that the planes I saw were flying East and I could go in the opposite direction because that area was destroyed. So I figured out that the planes were blanketing the area, to cover all ground. I talked to Paula for a minute and then I got out into a field and I was losing the connection, so I told her I loved her and hung up. We (the actors and I) decided to walk along next to the planes. The planes no longer looked like planes. They were construction-cone-orange and were plastic birds (low flying birds- like the Hitchock film). Each plastic bird was attatched to a chain and the last bird to take off had a huge bomb (the other birds had smaller bombs). We still didn't know what was going on exactly but thought that maybe they were searching for terrorists (from reading about terror alerts last night). Then I got separated from the actors when we saw another group of birds taking off. They went back the way we came and I thought it was safer to keep going in the same direction. I hid behind a mattress and was scared the bird with the large bomb would see me, assume I was hiding because I was a criminal, and kill me. I got away though and made it to College Park. I was at Maxine's mother's house with Maxine's mother, Maxine, Paula, Harvey, and I'm assuming Neil and Abby were there, but I didn't see them in the dream. Maxine's mother told me she was glad I made it there to be with them- it was safer. Once I had a minute to sit down, I realised that no one was at the theatre earlier because people had been warned something would happen so everyone stayed home. I think I was either determined to not stop my life for an alert which may have been a hoax or I didn't hear about the warning- I don't know. Then I woke up in a panic.

I thank our government and the media for bringing my nightmares back. I stopped reading most news stories because I was having too many nightmares. Last night I was reading and last night I had a nightmare. I shouldn't have been reading all of this 2 days before I fly to London. Now I'm scared of flying, of what the situation could turn into while I'm in Europe...

Oh, while I was in bed last night trying to fall asleep, I caught myself not breathing for a few seconds. I was scared that I had to remind myself to continue breathing and was scared that if I fell asleep, I couldn't remind myself again if I happened to stop breathing again. So it took a long time before I calmed down enough to get tired enough to fall asleep.

So now I'm up early and feeling a tad bit better. I guess it's good that I have an early start to my day, but not good that I only slept about 2 hours. I did send an email to President Bush about what's going on right now and how this part of his American public is handling it. I know he doesn't read his emails, but I thought that if whoever does read them reads enough of them like mine, they'll realise that the how-is-the-Bush-administration-doing polls are continuing to slip and that they'd better do something about it (possibly). I don't have a positive attitude for most of what the government does (or doesn't do), but sending the email made me feel about 1% better.

Okay, I'm going to try to relax for a few minutes and then start my day. It's getting late now and I have a lot to do.

Great. Just got an email that the production of "The Real Thing", which I was going to see in Glasgow, is cancelled. I'm trying to find out if it's just that one show (and I could possibly go the night before) or if the entire production is cancelled.

Okay, I called the theatre and the entire production is cancelled. How frustrating.

The only other shows running while I'm there is "Wild Raspberries" (a political play) and "Uncle Vanya" (no thank you). Guess I won't be seeing any theatre while I'm away. I guess I could see a matinee for the few hours I'll be in London, but I'll be tired and anxious that I won't make my flight after the show or something. No, I'm better off skipping the theatre. Maybe I'll see that Boom Chicago thing in Amsterdam that Neil and I read about last year. I don't really want to be in a loud place and see improv comedy, but maybe I'll do it if I'm in need of something to do one night (but I doubt I'll do that). I did just check to see if anything theatre was going on while I'm in Amsterdam, but I can't find anything.

And what else is frustrating today? The "3" button on my phone isn't really working. It took me 10 tries to get it to work. Maybe instead of a battery, I should have just bought a new phone.

And one more frustrating thing of the day? Someone seems to have moved into the apartment above me. Right now there is a lot of banging going on. Last night things were being rolled across the floor (my ceiling). Hope they're not home 24 hours a day and hope they're not like my upstairs neighbours in Phoenix. The walls in this building are super-thin (as are the windows- that's why the traffic is so loud, even on the 24th floor).

I picked up some coffee so hopefully I won't be dragging as much as I was this morning. I seem to be drinking a lot of caffeine in the past few days. And now I'll be in different countries for a week and a half and will be eating and drinking various things I'm not used to eating and drinking. Hope I don't get sick. I know I'll have a lot to do to try to get my life back in order when I get back and before Summer classes start 4 days later, but hopefully I can get a little rest time in there.

Okay, I think the noise I heard coming from the apartment above me was someone moving a piano. I hear them playing now. From the little I heard, I don't think they're very good. Maybe they'll get better or otherwise just not play very often. At least it's a piano and not a drum set or electric guitar or something.

Okay, time to go pay bills with the small amount of money I now have in my checking account. Damn IRS.

Quick entry- I still have things I need to do before I leave.

Final wasn't too bad. Our instructor thought he was a comeidan- the second to last question was: "Who will win the 2002 NBA Championship game?
A. Lakers
Last question...

I topped myself last night in the strange-songs-to-get-stuck-in-your-head category. Last night I got stuck with "Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie..." Where the hell did that one come from?

I don't think I've ever felt less ready for a trip. I've had my days so completely filled recently, and I still never managed to get everything done exactly. Each day would have things I didn't accomplish spill over into the next day, and so it went until now it's time to leave for my trip and I feel so unprepared. I know it'll be fine once I get there, but right now I wish I had another day to get things organised and maybe have time for a little relaxation, knowing that I got everything done. Hopefully I can spend some of the time on the plane relaxing (trying to sleep, watching a movie, reading a book...). Now I just have to hope that I don't have a huge person next to me. I seem to have really bad luck with people sitting next to me in small seats (on planes, trains, buses, at the theatre...).

So what do I have to do before I leave?
- dye hair
- finish packing
- clean up apartment
- make sure I have addresses, phone numbers, and directions to things
- call to activate my new credit card (they certainly don't want until the last minute to send the new one- it expires in 6 days- I actually called yesterday to see what was going on and the woman said she would overnight it- so now I'll be getting another card today- oh well)

On that note- time to finish up the details, and then it's off to Europe!

It took 2 hours to get from the GW Bridge to Newark, but once I got in the airport, I breezed through check in and security and had over an hour before boarding.

The flight was dine. Someone wanted to trade seats with me so she could sit next to her friend (this is becoming a trend- airlines not sitting people together), but this time it was a good thing since it was in the 1st coach row next to the emergency exit. Tons of leg room, plus I could put my feet up on the thing where the evacuation slide is kept. I watched "The Majestic", slept for 2 hours, and then had another 2 hours before we landed. I love the map they have with the amount of time left before landing. It's a great thing to not pay attention to it for a while and the next time you look, you have 2 hours before landing.

Immigration in the UK has a habit of asking strange questions: Are you staying with friends or family in Scotland (I put Judith's address since I don't have the names of places I'm staying until then)? Are they British or American? How did you meet them? Are you going anywhere after Scotland? Yes, you have a record of going other places after landing in London and then coming back here before returning to the US, according to all these stamps (in my passport). My goodness- I had no idea that doing a round trip to and from London plus going somewhere else twice counted as a pattern and I had no idea it mattered where I went and how and when. At least this woman wasn't as nasrt as the woman I got in March.

After some issues on the Tube (District line running here, but not here, Circle line not running at all...), I got to Victoria. I put my suitcase in a locker and went to EasyEverything. Somehow when I was checking my mail, they all got deleted before I could read them. This has never happened before. Fortunately, I remembered almost all of the senders, so I can just send them an email asking them to send again. If I forgot anyone and it's important, hopefully they will contact me again.

Now I'm at the Stage Door pub enjoying some chips and a coke (tired- need caffeine). My plan is to go to the Museum of the City of London and Leadenhall Market and maybe walk around somewhere before heading back to Victoria- where I will catch the Gatwick Express to Gatwick (where else?)- where I will fly Easy Jet to Edinburgh- where I will meet Rebecca, Christina, and Kristin. Then I'll probably fall asleep fairly quickly (I hope).

I really don't like pigeons. Jon used to love pigeons (I'm sure he still does since he hasn't changed a bit since I met him). That used to drive me crazy- watching him get all excited about seeing pigeons. Anyway...

Oh, there's a Coffee Republic across the street. Think I'll go in there, get some coffee (since I'm still pretty tired- can't wait to sleep tonight), use their toilet, and then go to Lab Bar.

So now I'm at another random pub. I can call this my London pub crawl trip. It's a good thing I love walking around London, seeing the beautiful architecture, and sitting in the relaxed-atmosphere pubs or this brief little trip to London would have been a waste. But I don't fee like it's been a waste. I may be tired and pissed off at Lab Bar, but I'm really just happy to be here.

I got to Gatwick fairly early, but that's not a bad airport in which to have free time (at least once). I had a ham & cheese sandwich, bought a cheap hat that actually fits me, and played a few games of basketball-themed pinball (I got to be on the Celtics playing the Spurs- fun!).

Then the problems began. We were told the boarding gate 30 minutes before the scheduled departure time. And then gates at Gatwick are all about a 20 minute walk away from the lounge area. We got to the gate and there wasn't a plane. Finally, at 9:30 (scheduled departure time), we were told there was no crew and they were working on it. At 10:00, they had a crew but no dispatcher. At 10:30, we had a dispatcher and the 50+ people on the flight all boarded in 10 minutes. At 11:00, we looked outside and saw some bags were still sitting next to the plane (it was pouring). We were told that Gatwick didn't have the ground crew to put the last few bags on the plane. Finally, they found some volunteers. I wish Rebecca and Christina didn't have to wait so long for me, but if they didn't, it would have been difficult for me to get anywhere as the buses stopped at midnight and I doubt there were enough cabs for everyone on the flight. The flight left around 11:45 and got in at 12:20. I almost wished I didn't have anyone picking me up. A cute flight attendent said to me, "If we miss the last bus, you and me can share a cab,"- fine with me! But Rebecca and Christina did pick me up (Kristin stayed at the hotel to do laundry) and we got to where we're staying (Menzies Guest House) around 1:00.

I actually got a second wind in the car and had some trouble falling asleep. I don't think I fell asleep before 3:00 but managed to wake up at 8:00 so I could wash my hair this morning (times like this- I'm ready to shave it off).

Not enough time (or patience) to write sentences
- Edinburgh Castle- awesome!
- lunch at pub- good haggis and good music
- Arthur's Seat- a fun climb but cold and rainy and REALLY windy at the top so we went back down quickly
- Indian dinner last night- nice out of the way place for locals, yum
- went to some bars with Kristin after dinner- one had a really bad band playing

Next day:
We do so much in one day that by evening, I can't remember morning activities.

Went to John Knox house in the morning. There was one room that had an audio bit that began, "Is that you, John Knox?" I kept coming up to K,C, or R and saying that to them (you had to be there).

Went to a cafe called Chocolate Soup for lunch. Rebecca wanted to go- she LOVES chocolate. Not a bad little place.

Then we drove to Stirling. The castle there is incredible! Too bad so much of it was closed off. For dinner, we went to a crappy Chinese restaurant. There were some stupid kids at the table behind us, but we couldn't see them since the booths were so high. Kristin had her stuffed otter (I think it's an otter), Oliver, with her, so she put him up to the top of the booth and had him look over at the table behind us. The kids laughed and were still obnoxious the rest of the evening.

Nice scenic, country drive to Culcreuch Castle in Fintry.

The castle isn't really a castle. It's a large, really old house. We stayed in the stables since there was a wedding going on. The music coming from the reception was polka and American country music.

We took a walk after we checked in. They took a longer walk, but I just took a quick walk around the lake, sang a little bit, and then came to the bar since it closes at midnight.

The music at this bar is great! Robbie Williams CD- "It Was a Very Good Year", "Mr. Bojangles", "Beyond the Sea", "Have You Met Miss Jones", "Mack the Knife"... The bar is practically empty- just 3 people together and me.

I'm sad and happy going out on my own tomorrow. Sad because the company has been great. Happy because I like my alone time.

I've felt very relaxed so far though. We're never in a rush but still manage to do everything we're interested in doing.

There are 2 guys at the bar talking music theory- cool!

K,R, and C are having trouble understanding Scottish accents- not me (although I do have to listen carefully to understand).

I love having the opportunity to see the country by car- definitely glad they decided to rent a car!

So glad I could do this trip!

Like travelling with friends- hope I have the opportunity to travel with friends like this again soon!

Kristin is really, REALLY awesome! The more time I spend with her, the more I like her. We are very similar. Same difficulties with relationships, both love swanky restaurants, both love history and science and fantasy and similar music tastes, and we often say the same thing at the same time. Definitely glad we have the chance to travel together. Hope she feels the same way.

I've been too camera happy on this trip. I know I'll have a ton of crappy pictures- need to cut back on clicking the shutter button! I just keep seeing shapes and images that I want to capture on film- my creative side coming out- wish I had more artistic talent.

Oh, hotel room in Edinburgh was an odd shape. You walked in and to the right was a protruding bathroom. You could walk around it on three sides and it was thrust in the middle of the room. From where I was sleeping, I couldn't see Kristin since she was on the other side of the room. I wonder how it originally worked- did they add the bathroom or did they knock out a wall to add on the piece of the room Kristin was in?

"It Was a Very Good Year" is making me feel nostalgic (not something that's difficult to do). One cider and I'm feeling wonderful! Love when I don't need a ton of alcohol to capture this mellow/happy/bittersweet/romantic mood.

We left Culcreuch Castle in the morning and travelled to Loch Lomond. Took an hour boat ride when we got there, which was beautiful! Then we had a quick lunch and dropped Kristin off at the bus stop. We couldn't find the stop in Bolloch, so we tried to outrun the bus to Luss. We found it just in time, but we were stopped where the bus pulls off to stop. He got a little upset with us, but we were just happy to get Kristin on the bus. She got on, we started to leave, and then realised we still had the mobile phone, which she was supposed to take with her. We drove as quickly as we could in the rain in the direction the bus went and then started to give up. We kept going just in case we could catch up with the bus if it needed to make a stop at some point. We came to a light and Rebecca said, "Look, there's the bus!", so we almost got in an accident (Christina was a great driver but still hadn't mastered the right turn on quick notice) but made the turn towards the bus. Fortunately, the bus was still stopped when we got there, and we were able to give her the phone. It was funny, though that's probably another you-had-to-be-there story.

Christina, Rebecca, and I drove to Glasgow and found a guest house for them to stay in. I called Jidith and she picked me up there- how nice!

I had a quick talk with her at her house, saw her husband (Kenneth), and her 2 year old boy (Ewan), and now I'm at the Grannery- a pub not too far from their house.

One problem: she gave me keys and keys are not my specialty. I have difficulty with many of them- especially when there's some trick to it, like pushing the door in really hard while turning. I can't seem to lock the outer door. I tried for 5 minutes and then gave up, hoping that would be okay. I hope I can unclock it when I get back tonight. I'm very nervous!

Tomorrow I plan on doing an historic walking tour (if the timing works) and probably going to see a show at night. It's nothing I'm thrilled with, but it might be good and at least I can see some theatre (I've been deprived- haven't seen a show since May 12 in Boston). Don't know what else I'll do tomorrow.

This stay in Glasgow will be the relaxing part of the trip. There's not a lot I want to do and I have 2 1/2 days here. I'll probably do some reading, maybe go to a movie, and hang out at some pubs.

This trip truly has a bit of everything:
- lodging: hotels, guest house, castle, friends' house
- travel: planes, cabs, car, trains, buses
- activities: hiking, relaxing, music, boat ride, drinking, smoking pot, sight seeing...
- company: friends, alone time
This trip has the best of all possibilities!

I don't get to write much when I'm with friends, which is probably a good thing. I'll probably write a ton now that I'm on my own and have a ton to type when I get home.

I should stop writing now, but I don't want to stop. I don't know what else to write, but I don't want to read and there isn't anyone I can talk to, and I just want to keep writing. But what to write about?

I can write more about how wonderful it was to travel with 3 intelligent, independent, single, successful women. That was really lovely. I can write about how much I love Scottish accents. It's so nice to listen to people's conversations here. I can write about how mellow and relaxed I feel right now. And how when I sit in British pubs by myself, I don't get hit on as much as I do in the States. And how pubs here have many more interesting choices of beverages. And how I've seen many women with bright red hair (including Judith)- gorgeous! And how if I didn't know Judith drove a yellow Mini, I would not have recognised her when she came to pick me up. Big surprise- I can barely recognise my own friends when I'm walking down the street. But Kenneth did look familiar when I saw him in his house. Judith doesn't look familiar at all. And I can mention that the music at this pub isn't bad- Cold Play, The Police, Red Hot Chili Peppers... I'm the only one by myself here. I'm fine with that, but I wouldn't mind having some conversation.

I made it an early night and got back to Judith's around 11:00. I got up at 7:30 but decided to go back to sleep and slept on and off for another hour. After all, this is supposed to be the relaxing part of my trip.

This morning I took the bus to the City Centre and walked around a bit until the rain started coming down in buckets (as opposed to the mugs and pints it was coming down in earlier). I went to Waterstones and read Pinter's "The Birthday Party" until the rain slowed down. Oh, I also had some coffee and a croissant at Pret a Manger and the woman asked me if I wanted Canadian coins for change. Guess I look Canadian today. I'd much rather be assumed as a Canadian here than an American. I told her I didn't need Canadian money and then realised it could have been useful, as I go to Toronto a week after I get home. But it's probably better that I didn't get it since then I'd have 4 currencies floating around my wallet- American Dollars, Canadian Dollars, British Pounds, and Euros. It would be even more if I still needed Belgian Francs and Dutch Guilders- see the Euro is good for country hopping.

I went to the Tron Theatre and got a ticket for "Love Freaks" for tonight. I don't expect to like it- a play about liberal activists- but it's something to do, and as I mentioned yesterday, I feel theatre deprived. Then I took the bus to the area around Glasgow University and am now at a pub enjoying chips with vinegar and a pint of cloudy cider.

There were several market research people around the City Centre who kept stopping me to ask me some questions. Sorry guys- not a resident. I would have done their survey otherwise. For some reason, marketing doesn't bother me in other countries as much as it does at home.

I've found that people in Scotland are not particularly friendly- something I like at home but for some reason, it's bothering me here. Maybe because I like to talk to local people on my travels and no one here seems to want to talk. Oh well, at least no one will ask me what's wrong or tell me to smile. Maybe I'll meet a friendly person at the theatre.

Thought Black Russians were vodka and kahlua. Here, it's vanilla vodka, Tia Maria, and coke. The Tia Maria makes it taste a little too bitter for my taste, but it's okay.

Another interesting concept: people seem to want to take my plate away before I'm finished (and my plate is at least half full). In the States, they never want to take my plate away until I've finished every last bite and if I leave some, sometimes they aske me if I didn't like it.

Interesting- there is a table of Americans in this little out of the way restaurant. Nice to see other Americans going to places off the beaten path.

I'm glad there aren't any museums in Glasgow that I'm dying to see. There are a few I would go to if I happened to find myself in front of it, but there aren't any I'm seeking out. I was getting a little tired of reading so many plaques with tons of information. I've taken in a lot by reading in the past few days and I really am a better auditory learner. This way my reading skills will be refreshed for the two museums I'm really looking forward to on this trip: Le Musee du Verre (Glass Museum) in Charleroi and the Historical Museum in Amsterdam.

Speaking of the Historic Museum, I'm afraid I'll get a little melancholy there. Last year when I was there, I had just checked my email and found an email from Joel, which had given me hope of further contact. Now I'll go there and miss him. Maybe I'd feel better if I knew there was 100% chance that there was no shot of seeing him again, but I still have this lingering hope that I'll run into him somwhere in the city of millions. It's a ridiculous hope, I know. I'd probably have a better chance if I happened to be near his office downtown, but I never seem to need to be in that area (unless I get jury duty again down there, which is depressing and scary to think about since my last date of jury duty was September 12). Okay, enough writing. Time to pay the bill and find my way back to the theatre.

The Americans at the Russian restaurant were from California. The daughter was here studying Shakespeare and the mother and sister were visiting. That explains how Americans found an out of the way restaurant.

"Love Freaks" was funny and the cast very talented. It was hard to understand much of it though. All the people who warned me about the thick accents were right. There was one guy whose character had a stutter unless he spoke with an American accent, so I understood him fine. His accent was perfect, unlike many actors I've seen in the States trying to do different accents. Anyway, I enjoyed myself. Oh, and the aisles between seats at the Tron Theatre were very wide. You didn't even need to get up to let people through.

But it got me thinking about the term "globalisation". Everyone seems to be against globalisation but they're using the wrong term, I think. They aren't against globalisation, they're against capitalism. Globalisation is a good thing. How else could we walk down the street looking for a restaurant and be able to choose Thai, Portugese, or Moroccan cuisine? Many people against "globalisation" drive Hondas or BMWs which have parts made in several different countries. If you want to boycott Starbucks and The Gap, fine, go ahead. Just don't tell people you're anti-globalisation. Tell them your're anti-capitalism.

This morning I was walking to the bus stop and I remembered a dream I had a while ago. I couldn't tell if it was deja vu or an actual dream I had, but I was almost positive it was a dream. I'll have to check to see if I wrote about any dream like this in my journal when I get home (June 6- I did a quick check and can't find any dream that sounds like this). It involved staying at Judith's house and walking on a road that looked like the road they live on (or something like that).

So I went to a crappy coffee shop this morning. I asked if they had breakfast and they told me to sit down. I did and a few minutes later, they gave me a full Scottish breakfast, most of which I don't eat. I had the baked beans, the egg white part of the fried egg, and the potato scone (a cross between hash browns and a potato pancake). I left the buttered toast, tomato, blood pudding (I think that's what it was), the bacon, and the fried bread. Coffee or tea came with the breakfast so I asked for iced coffee. That would be extra, she said. It didn't even have ice- it was just a cold cup of coffee with milk in a mug that cost an extra pound or something.

The Borders here has Starbucks in their cafe. I guess they can do that since they don't have Barnes and Noble here. And across the street from Borders was another Starbucks. I felt like I was at home.

Now I'm sitting outside since it's actually not raining. A woman came up to me trying to raise money for I don't know what- something about India. She made me say "Gouranga", which I think means happy. She wouldn't go away, so I gave her a few pence (all I had).

In a little bit, I'm going to see "About a Boy". It's either that or "Spider-Man", "Attack of the Clones", "Not Another Teen Movie", or "Bend it Like Beckham". I did kind of want to see "About a Boy" since I like Nick Hornby, but I hate Hugh Grant. At least I can see it in the UK- that might make me enjoy it more. Then tonight I'm going to some Italian restaurant with Judith and family for dinner.

"About a Boy" was quite nice. It even made Hugh Grant seem somewhat attractive to me- something that the other movies he's been in has failed to do (except perhaps "Four Weddings and a Funeral").

Now I'm hanging out at Drum & Monkey (LOVE that name). I guess I should really call this part of my trip "The Pub Trip". I like this place- it has a laid back/swanky/stately feel to it- big leather chairs and couches, high decorative ceiling, British pop music from the 50's/60's, mix of casual and dressed up people, young down to earth (but still not friendly) bartenders...

That movie made me wish I had an oddball group of friends like that. It also made me a little lonely. I'm glad I have Judith and family to go out with tonight, even though I don't know them that well. At least I can share a dinner with people before I head off on my own. Maybe I'll even get hungry in the next few hours and eat something besides soup.

The climate here is nice to my skin and hair. I should bottle up some of this air and carry it with me everywhere! I bought some shampoo and conditioner at Lush today and the woman helping me was surprised when I told her I had super dry hair. It would be nice if the stuff I bought actually works.

Okay, I'm just writing boring stuff now. Time to put the notebook away.

World Cup starts today!

Last night I went to an Italian restaurant (Sarti's) with Judith and her friend, Robert (Kenneth stayed home with Ewan). They have great pizza. Then we went to the Corinthian- a gorgeous bar in a former bank. It had a high ceiling with a skylight, red lampshades at the tables, and comfy couches. And the place was mostly empty. People really only go out here on the weekends. They also had a piano bar that if I didn't need a ride back with Judith, I would have checked out. But I decided it wasn't worth the taxi fare to stay.

Alix Dale was in my dream last night. Wish I could remember it.

Today I checked my email- very useful. I fould some quick jobs which is always a good thing. I also checked my grades and was pleasantly surprised- the B&B instructor gave me an A- for some reason. Maybe he decided my crappy paper was better than other people's crappy papers or maybe he gave a big curve on the final. Whatever- I got an A-. And I got A's in my other two classes.

Now I'm at Borders and planning on reading Noel Coward's "Star Quality". Then I'll head back to Judith's, pack, and go to the airport. And Judith, being the wonderful person that she is, is going to give me a ride to the airport.

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