June

First of all, they're getting the apartment next to me ready for the next tenant- I sure hope the new people aren't too loud.

Secondly, I got an A in World Theatre I. I know I didn't deserve an A according to the grades I got throughout the semester (I think I deserved an A for the amount of time I put into it, but she doesn't know how much time I spent on all that nonsense), but I guess she felt like being nice. And this is the point where everyone tells me how they don't understand why I complain so much about school if I usually get good grades. I don't care about the grade. I don't even care about the degree or even the subject matter. I just know how much torture I go through to get those grades. It's not worth it. It was worth it when you could actually get a job with a BA, but these days almost all of those jobs now require a Masters. I have a feeling that after all this torture (and it really is torture), I'll wind up having to take a job that you could get with a high school diploma, and I probably won't even be able to get one of those since I won't have the specific experience that the job requires. And I'm probably overqualified for many of those jobs, and accepting a pathetic salary just because I don't have a Masters degree makes me want to scream, but the idea of getting a Masters makes me want to scream even more, and the fact that freelance work is still on the rise makes me want to hide under a rock and not come out until the employment situation in this country changes. I'll admit, when I first started doing freelance jobs, I thought it was the best thing ever- not having to be with a company full time or having to deal with all the stuff that goes along with being in an office full time but still getting paid a nice amount- but the bigger picture isn't pretty for anyone (the full time employees, the freelance workers, or the companies involved). And as much as I'd like to brainwash myself into thinking I could handle sales/marketing jobs full time, I know I'm not serious about that even if it were possible. The other problem is that since I don't have any career dreams/goals (never have- I never even said, "I want to be a _________ when I grow up" when I was a kid), there aren't any Masters degrees for which I'd want to take the time to get. Are there any jobs out there that require a BA and pay a little better than jobs which only require a high school diploma? I've been doing a ton of research on that and haven't found anything positive. Does anyone know of anything? Can someone tell me what I can "be" when I "grow up" other than have a "career" in freelance work, sales/marketing, or office work for $10/hr? Paula sent me a cartoon which was supposed to be funny. And I probably would laugh if it wasn't so true.

And there's a lot more I could say on this subject, but this is enough for now.

Thirdly, the homeless woman who screams at pedestrians is back at the corner of 59th & Lex. I haven't seen her for a couple of years. And on a somewhat related note, I forgot to mention a little incident Eytan had while he was here. We were walking in the Village in the early evening (it was still light out), and he walked by a scruffy looking man sitting at the edge of a park asking for change. I walked right by, but I guess Eytan looked at him and caught his eye, and the guy got up and chased him. He was screaming obscenities at Eytan and insisting on money. Then he pulled out something that looked like a pocket knife (I was too far away to tell what it was and Eytan didn't know either), so Eytan found the little bit of change he had and gave it to him (good thing he had some change). I was looking around for a cop but of course couldn't find any (there are usually TONS- usually stopping people from sitting or eating in public places [can I get fined for saying such things here or do we still have some freedom of speech left in this country?]). It wasn't until later that I thought about reporting it, and by that time the guy was probably long gone.

Fourthly, I was so exhausted yesterday (I guess from the brewing cold). I had some coffee in the early evening and had planned on staying up late taking care of things. But the coffee had no effect, and I wound up getting into bed early and dozed on and off. In the early morning, I woke up every 10-20 minutes before finally getting out of bed. Today I still felt like the cold wouldn't go away, but I got some Cold-Eeze this evening (on Josh's recommendation- thanks Josh) and for the past few hours, I've felt cold-free. And I guess the coffee this evening worked since I feel like I have some energy now.

Fifthly, Dr. Goodman finally called back today after I had to call her again this morning. She wants to put me on a stronger anti-inflammatory. I talked to Eytan about it and he seems to think if it was an inflammation, the Vioxx would have helped and I should look into getting some kind of scan that picks up more than an x-ray. He said his mother had one, and it picked up something that the x-ray didn't. I guess I'll try the anti-inflammatory, even though I'm really not thrilled with the idea of stronger medication, and if that doesn't help, I'll definitely ask her about some kind of scan (maybe Eytan can find out the name of it so I sort of sound like I know what I'm talking about when I talk to her).

Sixthly, this weather and climate class is brutal. We have to read a chapter a day (and they're not small), have lectures on other material which is not in the book (and she doesn't slow down for us to keep up with what she's saying since there's so much material and not enough time- I'm thinking about buying a tape recorder which will hopefully pick up her voice clearly enough to be helpful), have labs where she seems to give us another lecture on the stuff we'll need to know for the lab and then we complete the labs at home (and the woman doing the lab part of the class is not great- English is not her fist language which sometimes makes it difficult to understand her, she's extremely quiet which makes it even more difficult to understand her, and she's scattered in her lectures and doesn't finish answering questions), and then there are 3 tests per week (2 on Mondays and 1 on Wednesdays) and 1 of the tests is on stuff not covered in the book, lecture, or lab (for that one, we'll have blank maps on which to label things like mountains, rivers, and deserts- too bad that's my weakest area of Geography- if we had to label countries or cities, I'd be in great shape).

On that note, I'm off to do tonight's lab.

Harvey's going to give me back the digital camera he got a few years ago (so nice), so that's one less thing on my list. I knew the camera would come before the psychologist (I probably won't bother with a psychologist until after this class is over since I barely have any time and having weekly appointments is not something I should add to my schedule). And I'm supposed to make an appointment with Dr. Paley, but I can't seem to make myself do that yet for some reason (I guess because I feel like it's a waste of time). Really my to-do list has quickly become more overwhelming than usual- all my days are almost completely filled morning noon and night (hopefully I won't have anything major pop up out of the blue that I'll have to take care of in the next month or so [knock on keyboard]).

I was exhausted last night but I stayed up to do a little work (including an interesting car accident/lawsuit case study). I also took a look at the website for the book we're using in w & c (weather & climate), and it's by far, the worst textbook website I've seen. Unfortunately, I ordered the book and it won't get here until after the first test. The book is on reserve at the library, but since the stupid library isn't open on the weekends, I'll have to wait until Monday to read the first 2 chapters on which we're being tested on Monday evening. And since the book is on reserve, we can only read it at the library for 2 hours (hopefully we can renew for another 2 hours after the first 2). I just hope I can pass these stupid tests so I don't have to take the class again next summer.

I'm trying to find the time to reread "Prisoner of Azkaban", but I'm not sure I'll finish it by the time I see the movie (which will probably be Tuesday). If I didn't have 500 tests to study for it would be a lot easier to make the time to read. I miss reading something by choice.

In other movie news: for some reason, "Life of Brian" is playing across the street from me.

I'm still pretty miserable.

I'm upset with Harvey, for a change. He means well but just doesn't have enough time for anyone in his life except Paula, and I need to stop getting my hopes up when he decides he wants to make time for me since he always either forgets that he said he would make time for me or he's too tired or too busy or out of town... But I keep hoping. Why? From now on when he says he wants to take time to talk to me, I should just say, "You may want to take the time but you won't, so stop telling me you will," and maybe one day I'll get over the fact that in reality, I don't fit into his priorities.

I've been thinking that maybe going back to completely thinking with the one-day-at-a-time mentality (or maybe two days at a time) is a good idea. Maybe that will slightly improve my mood. I don't like living in denial, but maybe for the time being, this is best. Maybe that will at least help me get myself to class everyday without dragging myself kicking and screaming, which is what I had to do this past week. It's soooo hard to get myself out the door every day, especially for something that may be pointless in the long run (but that's what I'm not thinking about now).

Little things:
I don't think there are any annoying parades or street fairs in my neighbourhood this weekend.
I'm wondering if they'll ever open my trash shute again. For the past week, it's been locked every time I check (so I've just been leaving my bags on the floor next to it- and don't get me started on the whole recycling thing).
I really wish there were different eating establishments in my neighbourhood.

And in other good news, I read/skimmed the rest of "Azkaban" last night, so now I'm all ready for the movie (just need to check when and where it's playing).

Harvey apologised once again, and once again I forgave him and we wound up talking for a bit last night. Maybe this time he'll make more of an effort, but then again, I don't want to start to seem like a chore to him, so maybe he should just go back to his I-don't-have-too-much-time-for-you ways. We'll see.

Today's been pretty productive so far. I cleaned the apartment some more, did some organising for the week, got caught up on email, and did some studying for my test (I'll finish that up tomorrow and maybe do a little more tonight).

I have been getting so much more spam than normal recently. I hardly ever get any on the weekends, and now every time I sit down, I have 4 more. Has something happened that I don't know about?

Yesterday actually went slowly, so not only was I able to get a lot done, I was able to relax for a bit before bed. Books arriving early, time going slowly... still can't believe it (maybe Andy sent some memos to UPS and Father Time).

Somehow my mood changed last night as I was trying to fall asleep (maybe it was from the 2 positive things). I literally felt lighter, since all the heavy issues went out of my mind and I spent the time before I fell asleep thinking about random things like Harry Potter. And this morning I woke up before the alarm went off, and I was wide awake. Sometimes I really can be manic depressive, but as is the case with almost everything else in my life, it's not consistent.

That's all for now. Gotta go study. Yesterday I figured out that this class will take up about 45 hours a week. I've never calculated other classes before, but 45 hours seems a bit extreme.

Happy belated birthday, Andy!

My foot is still bothering me. My doctor mailed me a prescription for Sulindec (or whatever it's called- don't feel like going to check right now), but after talking to Paula and Rebecca, we decided that I should first try 50mg of Vioxx (I was taking 25mg before) since that's easier on the stomach and doesn't make you drowsy. So that's what I'm doing now. If it still is feeling the same on Sunday, I think I'll just deal with it, and if it's still feeling the same after this class is over, I'll take the Sulindec... I guess... I don't know. I'd actually like to see another doctor to get their opinion, but that's probably more effort than it's worth.

Traffic news: It's been pretty awful. The trucks that fly down the street are sometimes so loud, they sound like they are flipping over or something. Then the past 3 mornings I've been woken up by emergency vehicles. They last for as long as it takes to make sure I'm awake, and then they stop for a while. It's really exactly like an alarm clock. So I've only gotten a few hours of sleep the past few mornings. That really pisses me off! Even though I need less sleep than the average person, at some point I need catch-up nights, and I'm not getting those. Every day I get more and more irritable. Maybe one day I can fixing the soundproofing thing to see if it will work better. I'll need to take it down and put it back up after figuring out the best way for it to stay put, and every time I think about doing that, it seems overwhelming. Also to help my sleep, I could use one of those Time-Turners that Hermione uses in "Prisoner of Azkaban". I could get so much more done that way and still have time for rest/sleep. Those 2 things would solve a lot of my problems (too bad the latter one is impossible).

And speaking of "Prisoner of Azkaban", I was not thrilled with the movie. I would rather have them leave out the entire first 400 pages of the book and just make the movie about the end than put up with 45-second snippet scenes that they created. There was no storytelling for the 1st hour of the movie (other than the first scene at the Dursley's) and the editing was pretty bad. They just took the essence of each little thing the audience would need to know for the end and threw it all together. If I'm not making sense, how about this: how about making the movie of "The Wizard of Oz" by summing up the black and white part by having Dorothy standing outside her house saying, "I really want an adventure with Toto over the rainbow," and then the tornado drops them in Munchkinland. That's the first 2 minutes of the movie. Then they follow the yellow-brick-road and meet the Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Lion- that scene is about a minute and a half. Then they get to the Emerald City, and the rest of the movie is the familiar end we're used to. It loses the whole story this way and just makes it about the climactic end. Now I'm not looking forward to the next movie. I'll just enjoy the books.

I got an 88% on the first lecture/book test, which is good since I'll need that to average into my possible failing grades in the lab part of the class. The lab is beyond ridiculous. First, I really thought labs would be done in class, but so far, she just lectures at a mile a minute without making sure we're understanding it, and then we're supposed to do the actual work at home. Then there's the fact that I don't understand anything she tells us (I don't think anyone does), and I can understand some of the lab book, but not the most recent stuff. It involves trigonometry, which I've never seen in my life. I don't even know how to use the buttons on my calculator. I'm going to talk to Eytan about it this weekend and possibly get in touch with Rebecca's friend, Rose, to see if she can help me. It'll probably be tough over the phone, but I'll be no worse off than I am now. This woman who teaches our lab section should not be teaching. Every other sentence is, "And... how you say?" If you don't know "how you say" what you're supposed to be teaching us, you should not be teaching. Plus she's so quiet, you can barely hear her.

My other problem with this class is the heat (or do I mean temerature- I now know the definitions for each but still not sure which one to use in this case). The lecture room is so stifling. One night the professor asked if we minded if she took off her shoes because it was so hot, especially with the overhead projector light in her face (all those infrared rays). A room on the 5th floor with no A/C and no windows is ridiculous. The lab room on the 10th floor has a room air conditioner in the back, so that cools things off but contributes to reason we can't hear the already-too-quiet instructor.

And this is the quietest class I've ever seen at Hunter. No one talks to each other before, during, or after class. Maybe everyone's too hot to talk.

My new favourite word: Hemidemisemiquaver- it's a 64th note (1/64 of a whole note in music).

My deli has made sure I wont be tempted to buy cereal. I was going to get a box on the way home the other night, but the box of 12 oz. of cereal was $9.00. Um, no thank you. People say NYC is expensive, but except for groceries, there are cheaper ways to get everything, including dining out. As a single person, it really is cheaper to eat out more often than buying groceries.

Tuesday I heard someone mention the idea of having the wedding they used to dream of when they were a little girl. Am I the only female to never have dreamed of getting married? I've never dreamed of anything. What made me always be so realistic and practical?

I don't know when I'll make the time to watch SFU each week. Maybe I'll try to do that on Fridays. As much as I'd love to watch it when it first comes on, I'm not sure Sunday at 9:00 is a good time for me- not with 2 tests the next day. Then again, maybe if I make Sunday night relaxing night, I could have the energy to push myself on Mondays (and hopefully have enough momentum to get myself through the week).

Brian and Rebecca finally found a weekend to come up to New York. Before I knew how time consuming this w & c class would be, I told them the weekend of the 24th would be fine. So now I don't know how much time I'll be able to spend with them. They want to see a show- a show to me sounds like a chore. Maybe I'll let them do that by themselves. Maybe I'll just join them for dinner for a night or two and spend the rest of the time at home while they have fun. It'll be frustrating to hear about all the things they'll be doing, but I don't think I have a choice. I just hope they're not too bothered with how little time I'll have for them.

I think I figured out what I don't like about summer. Last night I was listening to Ian Anderson's "Rupi's Dance", and I realised it's a winter album. I like winter music more than summer music. Summer music needs to be light, and I like most of my music to be complex. Same thing with movies. I've rarely liked a summer movie because of the lack of substance. I do like escapism, but not if it completely lacks substance (I at least need some good puns or something). So I prefer fall and winter things.

Why are we making such a big deal about Reagan's death? I'm sure if Carter died, it wouldn't be nearly as prominent in our media. This is getting on my nerves. It's not like he was some great president. When Nixon died, there wasn't this much coverage. Nixon was remembered as a crook. Why is Reagan now remembered so fondly? Why are people forgetting rising unemployment, his overlooking of AIDS...?

Just read that Peter Krause is in "After the Fall" at Roundabout this summer. Maybe I really did see him on Lex yesterday (I saw someone who looked just like him when I walking up to the 6 train). Maybe I actually recognised someone out of context. Probably not, but now that I know he's in the city, I can at least pretend that I really recognised someone.

A miracle happened this evening. I ordered groceries from Gristedes and not only did they arrive well within the time-window, all the frozen food was actually frozen and they were only out of 4 of the things I ordered. Glad I didn't give up on them entirely.

But in slightly bad news this evening, I got an ocular migraine. I wonder if it's the Vioxx that caused it.

Lots of noise last night- the usual traffic and then I think people were playing basketball in the apartment above me. And I recorded about 30 seconds worth of traffic to prove to anyone who doesn't believe me (like Harvey), how obnoxious it can be (especially on Friday nights- right Neil?).

I got a burst of energy at about 1:00 AM, so I worked out (really worked out) for the first time since my foot started hurting. It felt great, and my foot didn't even hurt that much (I stayed off of it as much as possible). I forgot to take the Vioxx last night, so maybe I'll stop taking it and just leave it as one more thing that bothers me throughout my life (like my knee).

I haven't watched a minute of baseball this year (other than catching a few highlights at a bar when Eytan was here). I don't miss it at all. Guess I'm completely losing my interest in sports. No sports, no theatre, do I have any interests left? Not that I have time for interests anyway. Or maybe my brain is convincing me that I'm not interested in things because I don't have time for it (maybe it thinks it's better to not be interested than to always feel like I'm missing something). Whichever it is, the fact remains that I'm not doing much these days for fun.

I saw my new neighbours last night. I looked out the peep hole to see what all the commotion was in the hall, and I saw 2 young guys with a 6-pack of beer. Could it get much worse?

I wasted a few minutes last night and read a few comments on "Azkaban", and it turns out many people felt the way I did about the way they rushed through the story.

I tried to talk to Eytan this afternoon about my w & c lab, but it was impossible for him to help me over the phone since it's so visual. But he did help me figure out how to use the "sin" button on my calculator and which mode to have it in (my calculator was set in the wrong mode). I emailed Rose last night, but I haven't heard back from her yet. If I don't hear back from her in time, I'll just fail that part of the test (which will probably be most of the test). I don't know what else to do. The stuff for the lecture test I think I can get through my head by test-time on Monday, but it's much more complex than the stuff on the first test.

My home phone has been doing something new recently. It cuts off the conversation after 20 seconds if I'm not talking- so if I put the phone down for 20 seconds to go do something, it hangs up on the caller and then I have to put it back on the charger to get it working again (and then it says the battery is low). Is this normal?

I did manage to be productive around the apartment after the studying attempt. That felt good. But the trash shute being constantly locked is getting annoying. Once one person puts a bag on the floor, there's no more room for the rest of us, so the trash stays in my apartment until they get around to taking away the bag.

I decided to listen to the Tull albums I haven't listened to in ages. I'll listen to one a day (there are only a few). They really are an amazing band.

And I decided to watch SFU tonight. I'll just spend the next few hours intensively studying, and hopefully there won't be too much anxiety involved in watching the show. I skimmed the last episode of season 3 last night to refresh my memory, and I was reminded of just how good the show really is. They do such an incredible job with the entire production. Hope it stays at that quality for this season. But after my experience with "Azkaban", I'm trying to not get my hopes up (which is hard to do).

SFU:
Claire echoed my exact sentiments in the first 10 minutes! Such great writing. Such great acting. Such great directing. Such great everything. Thank you, everyone involved on SFU for keeping this a bright spot in my life. It was amazing to not think about anything else for an entire hour- it kept me completely invovled.

And thank you, HBO for putting Bill Maher back on later this summer.

But in bad news, the Puerto Rican Day traffic was absolutely awful. I couldn't listen to my music loud enough to drown out the noise.

And back to the good news, last night Launch played me a Pixies song that was on a greatest hits album, but I remember it from an album I used to listen to in high school. I had been trying to remember the name of that album since I wanted to hear other songs that were on it, but could never remember which one it was. Thanks to Launch playing it (and giving me the title), I was able to look up which album it was on that I used to have. I'm sure I won't like most of it now, but it would nice to hear for nostalgic value.

And back to the bad news (at least it's an even mix right now), it turns out Virgin Atlantic never transfered my points to Hilton, so I need to call about that. And then I need to call RCN- seems like I always have issues with this company. The latest is that they don't send me bills anymore (they canceled my service last month, and I called and made sure this wouldn't happen again, but I did not get this past month's bill so I need to call again). Do most people have to call their phone/cable/Internet company once a month about issues? I get so tired of spending so many hours calling customer service for problems that shouldn't be problems to begin with. And then I have to call the doctor about the bill they sent me (my insurance should have covered it, right?) since I didn't get around to that the other day. When will I make all these calls? Hopefully tomorrow. Maybe I'll call to make a regular doctor appointment too. Maybe.

Another great album, "Crest of a Knave". I think it's helping me stay in a decent mood too.

They've blocked my street west of Lex tonight, so of course traffic is worse that normal. Hopefully it's just a one-night thing.

Two interesting songs on Launch earlier tonight: Tori's "I Can't See New York" and The Pixies' "I've Been Tired". The former, I haven't listened to since I was forced to hear it at her concert last year (a lot of people chose that moment to leave the auditorium, but I stayed put and sort of half-listened). Tonight, I was able to listen and remember without involving emotions or being indifferent. It made me decide to read my entry from September 11th- something I haven't yet been able to do until now. And reading it was okay. Finally. As for the latter song, well, it was fun remembering when I was in high school and used to drive around listening to it. It put me in a strange mood for a moment. It was strange listening to it right after "I Can't See New York". Can't really explain it- I just felt odd.

Think I'll make tonight a work-out-at-1:30AM-night.

I almost never get headaches- maybe one a year, if that. I got one this evening and I still have it now (once again, Advil did nothing). So it's pretty much been a wasted night. I couldn't concentrate on anything, so I wound up watching "Boys Don't Cry"- not a great choice for a headache but it was the only thing on that I thought I could tolerate and I got caught up in it (it's an extremely well done movie, I think, even though a lot of it is difficult to watch- glad I got to see it again). Anyway, hopefully I can get a huge amount done tomorrow so I don't feel too far behind.

I went to talk to the instructor about the lab before class, but she couldn't really help me, so she told me to wait and talk to the other instructor. I waited for her, but she didn't have time to help me. So the first instructor said she would email me the explanation of how to use the formula tonight, and she did, and it's somewhat helpful. Probably won't have time to really look at it again until the weekend though, since right now I need to re-study for tomorrow night's lab test and study for Thursday's map test (on the Americas- haven't even looked at Central or South America yet). Have I mentioned recently how overwhelming this class is? In fact, I think that's my word of the year- overwhelming.

But right now I'm going to try to go to sleep since my head's still killing me.

Last night's lab test was ridiculous! We didn't need to learn how to do any of the problems. The other day, she made it sound like we would need to be familiar with the lab problems and she would use different numbers on the tests. Well, this was one of the questions (paraphrasing): "In lab #2, how high did we make the graph?" What kind of question is that? We were just supposed to memorise information of a particular problem rather than learn how to do it? That's ridiculous. I actually understood most of what we did in last night's lab, but I guess that doesn't matter for the test, since I'll only need to memorise it. This is definitely one of the worst classes I've ever taken (Cultural Anthropology, Intro to Film and The Music Industry are 3 others that stand out in my mind, and then there was French and Abnormal Psych at Scottsdale...).

I got home last night and had a wonderful online chat with Andy. My map test tonight may suffer a little bit because of it, but that's okay.

We're definitely almost upon the June solstice. It's light out for a while before I go to bed in the morning.

Paula and Harvey are coming up this weekend. I'm going to push myself tonight and tomorrow so I can afford the time for brunch with them on Saturday.

And Brian and Rebecca called me yesterday to see if I wanted to see "Fahrenheit 9/11" with them while they're here. I don't have any interest in seeing it, so it'll be easy to stay home and be productive while they go off and do that. But they're also going to see the Mingus Band on Thursday night, so I'll probably join them for that.

We got our 2nd lecture/book test back last night, and they said that too many people got As (including myself) so they would have to make the tests more difficult. Hey, there were still plenty of people who got Cs, Ds, and Fs, maybe the rest of us just studied really well. And I did well on last night's map test, but I did get some serious eye strain from it (they squeezed tiny numbers all over the maps- very hard to read- they should enlarge the maps).

Quite a storm tonight! The dip on 59th St. turned into a huge lake- impossible to walk across (and the aggressive drivers did not make it easier for us). Today's weather is a little nicer- a little less humid. There are some nimbostratus clouds, but not as many as yesterday- there are also some stratocumulus clouds mixed in [yes, I had to look those up- I'll know them all by Monday though]).

I had a productive night after I got home. Did some work, dealt with the mail, and started looking over the w & c stuff for Monday's test.

I'm so tired of hearing depressing stories about our current job market. Can anyone tell me something positive that doesn't involve freelance work?

Today's conveniently going slowly for me (but the week went quickly- I can't believe it's a weekend again). I have plenty of time left for things, so I can definitely do brunch with Paula and Harvey tomorrow. I appreciate time being kind to me today- it's putting me in a better mood.

I decided to watch Jeopardy tonight- they changed the rules and now there's no limit on the number of days you can win. The current winner is on day twelve and has over $400,000. I wish it could be easier to get on the show- I can't even get called to go to the audition.

It was jackhammering time again on my street this morning. Always something.

With the awful noise, I was happy to go meet Paula (Harvey was too busy to join us) at Norma's (great as usual). Then she accompanied me to Bed, Bath, and Beyond so I could finally buy some things (I'm not sure if I would have gone if she wasn't with me- I have such trouble getting myself to go shopping). So I got some pillows (mine were shot),a storage container for under my bed, some bed lifts (since the shortest container was too short for my bed), and a bath rug (since mine disappeared a few months ago- how does something like that disappear? I assume in the laundry room). The most amazing part of the shopping experience was that the employees were actually helpful. They knew where things were when I asked them (I can't remember the last time I didn't have to go looking for everything because no one could tell me where things were located). That definitely helped.

It was a gorgeous morning/early afternoon. I even saw some Cirrus clouds- haven't seen them in a LONG time. And it's warm with only 56% relative humidity with a nice breeze. And it's still only partly cloudy (an amazing thing in NYC), so there's a tiny chance I could see a star or two tonight.

Since I've been home, I've been productive. I did some apartment organising and some studying and it's only 7:15.

Kristin got back from Brazil recently. Can't wait to hear how her trip was.

I was woken up at 8:00 this morning, which would have been fine if I went to sleep before 5:00. Oh well, at least I have plenty of hours to be productive, and productive I have been, so far. I went to Coffee Times to do some studying, I cut my hair an inch or two, and did some cleaning (even got my trash bag out by the shute before anyone else did). I'll definitely watch SFU tonight in peace.

My new pillows are okay, but why am I so domestically challenged? It takes me forever to get pillow cases on (and I do a lousy job of folding blankets, and making the bed, and my ironing is a complete waste of time [clothes are more wrinkled after I iron]...).

One of these days I'm going to go through the stuff in the guest room and bathroom and figure out what all that stuff is (stuff to give back to the owner, stuff to throw away, stuff that regular guests want to keep here...). I wonder how many people have stayed here over the years? Let's see... I think it's about 20. And how many times have those people stayed here? I don't even want to think about that; although it's probably an average of 2 sets of guests per month.

It's pretty damn chilly today. That's what happens when it's 60� with only 45% relative humidity.

This w & c class is getting to me. Now I noticed that the pattern on the inside of my sandals are isolines.

I've been smelling someone's breakfast since I woke up. It's even stronger now (smells like a greasy griddle).

I'm so tired of RCN issues. Currently I can't get online through them (at least there's still the wireless connection) and something's wrong with the cable TV box as well. It's been a problem since Friday, but I haven't felt like calling them (I'm really tired of having to do this and wish I had a choice in telecommunications companies). I should call them today though, since who knows when I'll get around to it if I don't.

Thanks to Neil, Paula and Harvey are not on their way home- they're on their way to Maine. Wish I could join them.

Other than the obnoxious people playing their stereo louder than the traffic, I enjoyed SFU. I loved the scene between Arthur, George, and Ruth. When I saw the promo of Claire getting inspired by performance art, I was kind of disappointed since I wanted to be inspired with her and I could never be inspired by that. Well... not true. I was completely inspired... until Nate gave me back my existential thoughts... until the performance-art-chick came back... until the scene with Nate and David... until George's comment about career changes... And Claire definitely inspired me to try out my digital camera (just wish I had time to do that before the middle of July). This episode wasn't my particular favourite though- next week looks like it'll be better.

It was a serious mess in the traffic world last night. They blocked off 3rd, and there was a honking parking lot of cars the entire night. I taped some of it (don't know why I keep taping the traffic- maybe so when I move and have a day when I really miss the city, I'll play the tape to remind myself of the bad parts- not there aren't quieter parts of the city, but maybe it'll help a little- plus I still want to play it for Harvey). And of course an emergency vehicle was my alarm clock this morning. If it didn't piss me off so much, I would laugh. What are the odds that someone would be having an emergency every morning when I'm asleep and then once I'm awake, no more emergencies for at least another hour? The odds shouldn't be as high as they seem to be.

Okay, time to get back to studying.

Today (yesterday, technically) went from irritating to obnoxious to why-do-so-many-things-have-to-go-wrong:
Irritating: I'm not too picky about bathroom cleanliness, but Hunter has the most disgusting bathrooms I've ever seen in this country (and the only places I've seen worse were in a gas station in the middle of nowhere in Morocco and a hotel lobby in Halong City, Vietnam).

Obnoxious: I studied more for this week's test more than I had for the other 2 since they said it would be harder, and they were true to their word. It was an obnoxiously difficult test. Not sure what I got since they changed the point values for this one, but I think I'll be lucky if I get a C (which of course bothers me more than if I hadn't studied enough and deserved a C).

Obnoxious: I must have stepped on the sore part of my foot wrong or something, because pain shot up my leg and hurt for a while this evening. And I don't have time to deal with it (finding another doctor, finding a time for an appointment...), so I'll just continue to be in denial and try to walk more carefully (whatever that means).

Why-do-so-many-things-have-to-go-wrong: I just got a letter from the IRS that says I owe more money from 2001 (which seems strange since I do estimated taxes and I made less in 2001 than in 2000). Just what I needed- more money leaving my account. I'm going to send it to Mark first though, to make sure it makes sense. And 2001? Are they always this slow in getting out notices?

From a certain angle (like the view from my bathroom), my bed looks like it's floating. In addition to the 4 outer legs, it has 4 inner legs. Since I got the leg lifts (which I put on the outer legs), the inner legs are 6 inches off the ground. So when you can't see the entire bed (just the middle section), you see the inner legs off the ground and the bed looks like it's floating. Maybe if I get really sleep deprived, I can convince myself that the bed is really floating, and when I go to sleep, I can pretend I'm on a boat. Or something.

I am now mostly back online through the cable modem, but RCN is still messing with my cable box- turning it off and on at random, changing the channels...

And I'm taking a poll: How often do you make some sort of customer service call in an average week (or month, if you're one of the lucky people that don't have to call as often as every week)?

Cable box seems to be fixed... for now...

Yesterday I felt like I was getting the flu, which was particularly exhausting during class, but today I seem to be fine. Maybe it was the weather.

Chatted with Josh online last night while attempting to be productive. The job market really isn't kind to him- I feel terrible about what he's been going through. But it was nice to rant with him about our country and its "values" for a little while.

I should start looking at the map of Europe now. Haven't looked at it at all yet, and I have no idea where all the geographic features are other than the few obvious ones (Alps, Mediterranean, North Sea...). And I'm thinking of skipping the Mingus Band tomorrow night and using that time to go over some of the lab stuff. I'm completely lost and the next test is right around the corner (either Monday or Wednesday- hopefully Wednesday). I think Friday night would be a good time to do something with Brian and Rebecca, since Friday daytime will be tedious (work, studying, mail, finances, calls to customer service...) and doing something fun at night would be nice. Hope that's not the night they got tickets for "Fahrenheit 9/11".

Sometimes I really can't believe how quickly time seems to go by.

I got a 78% on the last book/lecture test- still pissed about how hard they made that one, but a miracle happened and I got a 96% on the lab test. She marked things wrong but didn't take off points (she did on other people's though, so I don't know what happened). so I guess I got lucky, for once. Wish I could get that lucky on the rest of the tests. But even if I don't, as long as I pass them I'll be okay. If you fail the lab part of the class, you fail the whole class. I should be okay though, now that I have a 96% to average into whatever I get on the rest.

I'm having AT&T billing issues for a change. So now I have to add them to my list of companies to call tomorrow.

Brian and Rebecca are going to dinner tonight instead of Mingus Band, so I decided to pass on the dinner and use that time for school stuff. They have several other things reserved that I'm also skipping (other meals and possibly a show, although I might do the show, not sure yet). But I will join them for Norma's on Sunday and will go out with them on Friday night (and maybe do something after brunch on Sunday as well, if I think I can afford the time).

Did I mention I'm overwhelemed? Today's been particularly overwhelming. On that note, time to get back to the chaos.

What's this year's street vendor craze? Bubbles. Every other corner, you get blasted by the spray of the bubble gun.

My foot was really bothering me yesterday, so I decided to take the train. As I was going down the stairs to the uptown train, I saw the uptown train approaching across the tracks. I thought to myself, "never to be seen again," and sure enough, 3 downtown trains came by before I finally got on the completely-packed uptown train. And something else I've been having to wait too long for recently? The elevator in my building. The elevator commute took 15 minutes yesterday. It should take 2, at the most. What's going on? So my 12 block commute turned into an hour-long event. I had left early to talk to the instructor about one of the labs but wound up getting there too late.

Launch has been playing me a lot of crap the past 2 days.

On another negative note, I did not get as much sleep as I had wanted. I was planning on sleeping in this morning, but between not being able to fall asleep until around 6:00 AM and waking up for some reason at 8:30 AM and it being fairly noisy at that hour, I didn't even get 3 hours of sleep. I could sleep in tomorrow, but I also want to join them at Norma's (and feel badly that I'm barely spending any time with them), so I probably won't get much sleep again tonight. I think I'll try to sleep in again on Tuesday morning (and remember to turn off the ringer on my phone this time).

Brian and Rebecca left this morning without telling me where they were going, so I think I'll call them now to see what their plans are and then get back to being productive.

The rest of yesterday:
I met Brian and Rebecca for lunch at Patsy's- that wasn't great. First of all, they were almost finished by the time I got there (they called to ask me to meet them after they had ordered), so I just ordered some pasta and ate by myself. Literally. They were with another couple (friends of Brian) at a table for 4. I sat next to the open area that looks onto the street, and the traffic was so loud, I couldn't hear anything they were talking about. I just sat there eating my lunch and staring at other tables around me and ocasionally attempting to join in the conversation (I didn't feel like a 5th wheel- more like the spare tire in the trunk). Then we went up to The Met, which was more of a hassle than it should have been. The uptown 6 train wasn't running for a change (on the weekends, it's probably smarter to stick to buses except the ones that go on or near parade routes). We waited for the 4 train with the 950 other people and squeezed our way onto the unairconditioned car- yuck. Brian and Rebecca couldn't believe how obnoxious it was to get there- yes the DC Metro has some nice features, but it has its issues too. But we did get there eventually, and I tried to find my favourite room (the whole reason I went- I thought it was a good idea to have a few moments of peace before getting back to my nonsense of a life), but the room wasn't where I thought it was. Brian and Rebecca had gone to look at another exhibit, and I told them to meet me where I thought my room was when they were finished, so I sat in that area waiting for them and watched all the people who walked by this one piece, set off the alarm- the guards who work that room must get so irritated dealing with that every day. I talked to Rebecca (Feldman, not Brian's wife) this afternoon and she told me she thought the room was in Islamic Art, not Japanese- so I'll have to remember that for the next time. After we met up, I wound up going home to do some work and studying while they spent more time at the museum and then went to see "Fahrenheit 9/11". I met up with them later at Mod- that place has gone downhill. I hate to see places that don't live up to its potential- if you're gonna do something, do it right (starting with the music- don't play rap at a kitchy 60s bar). Oh well- we didn't stay long. And taking the bus up there was a bit nuts. First, the bus stopped for a woman with a walker who insisted on using the wheelchair lift to get on. The driver told her it wouldn't work with that bus' system and to wait for the next bus. She said she didn't want to wait for the next bus, she wanted to take that bus. Then the screaming match started and lasted for about 20 minutes- it ended with the bus driver going back to his seat and driving away. I've never sympathised equally with 2 opposite sides before. I completely sympathised with the woman for expecting all city buses to be available to all people and not wanting to wait another 20+ minutes for another bus that may or may not have had the system she wanted, and I completely sympathised with the actually-knowledgable-for-once bus driver who just wanted to keep his bus somewhat on schedule and tried to explain the problem in a calm tone and got nowhere. Then there was the creepy guy behind me, who kept trying to talk to me. I waited until the last minute to get off the bus for fear of him following me if he saw in advance where I was getting off, but he still managed to follow me (and of course that's the darkest and most quiet part of the city). I practically ran to the bar and was happy to see the big bouncer standing outside.

After 5 solid hours of sleep (!) this morning, I went with Brian and Rebecca to Norma's (great as usual). Then they went up to the Jewish Museum, and I went to pick up a card and some cupcakes for Brian's birthday. Finding a card was almost impossible; the selection was one of the worst I've ever seen. I spent way too much time trying to find a card that wasn't completely stupid, and it was tough. I finally wound up with a card with these odd/scary looking alien dolls floating in the sky on the front- I was like, "what the hell is this?"- so I opened it up to find "I don't get it either, happy birthday". That was the best I could do- at least it was funny to me, considering that message was how I felt about the other 50 cards I looked at.

It was a gorgeous day today. I wanted to find somewhere outside where I could study but had no luck (tried Central Park and the East River). When there are so few nice days, every single person in the city wants to take advantage when one finally comes along. Everywhere I went was so packed, there was absolutely no room for me and my books. So I just went home :(

Now I'm trying to study. I called Rose to see if she could help me over the phone, but I left a message and she hasn't called back yet. Hopefully she'll call back tonight. In a way, I wish I could join Brian and Rebecca tonight for "Toxic Audio" just so I could sit through something mindless, but it's probably something I really wouldn't enjoy and I'll be better off staying home and studying. My general to-do list hasn't been looked at since Thursday night (why can't I get things done when people are staying here? I think it has something to do with losing the rhythm of my life, but why can't things get done in the new rhythm?). I wonder what I'm not taking care of? Hopefully this small period of denial won't cause all hell to break loose like it usually does when I don't keep on top of things. But I sort of feel like all hell is breaking loose already anyway, and knowing about other things that are about to collapse that I don't have time for isn't worth thinking about right now (I'll solve those problems this coming week in between studying for 6 million tests).

Gay Pride Parade today. Could say more, but I want to save this entry before my Internet connection drops again (it's been doing the on for 2 minutes, off for 10 thing non-stop recently, with some I'm-going-to-be-down-for-at-least-an-hour-so-go-do-something-else things thrown in from time to time).

The traffic wasn't bad at all for most of the weekend. That seems to happen more often when guests are here. How does that work? How do I trick the traffic into thinking people are staying here more often?

In other good news, I've had a consistent Internet connection this morning and I got stubborn and tried my cell phone again and it appears to be fine (guess it just needed some time to dry out). So maybe things are cycling back and I won't have 5 things go wrong every day. That would be nice since this period of time is busy enough without the added messes. It was really getting absurd.

But I'm not sure if my life is cycling back to easier days. Today there were subway closures because another guy got shot on the train, a cab came very close to hitting me as I was crossing the street tonight, both of my feet were killing me today, I've been listening to some non-stop honking since I got home (and it started way before the pouring rain started)... And the caffeine doing absolutely nothing to help me feel awake this afternoon was frustrating (seem to be getting a second wind now though- maybe instead of going to sleep early, I'll stay up and get a start on the map of Africa).

The test tonight wasn't awful though (since the "nicer" instructor wrote it this week); I think I got some kind of B.

I watched a woman "clean" one of the bathrooms at Hunter tonight. She made sure each stall had toilet paper, sweeped a few pieces of toilet paper off the ground, and that was it. The soaking wet floor and disgusting toilets stayed the same, I got hit in the head by the metal trash can when it fell off the wall, no soap was added to the empty soap dispensers, and the sinks were in various states of decay. Wish I could bribe one of the instructors to make me a copy of the key for the staff restroom.

Tonight I saw that the "this subway entrace is closed" sign at my stop changed the date of reopening to September 2004. March, September, what's the difference? And is the building still going to open before then? I know I've seen several different opening dates, but I thought the latest was August.

And when did things go from tamper resistant to tamper impossible?

Amazingly, I'm sort of in a good mood right now. I think it's the burst of energy I just got.

Sleeping in did not happen. They seem to be doing some kind of work that involves loud drilling in the vacant apartment next to me- they were drilling on the wall next to my bedroom early this morning, and it was impossible to get back to sleep. So I was exhausted when I came out into the living room, and listening to them dig up my street & sidewalk for a change (thought they saved that for weekends) was particularly obnoxious. Then at noon, cops blocked Lex, a steam-cone thing was blocking 3rd, and the workers still are working on my street & sidewalk. Now I'm really looking forward to the Republican Convention.

Oh, Brian brought a package of ear plugs with him that I hadn't tried before. I tried some, but it didn't work at all- I couldn't even get them in my ears securely. I'll just give up on that idea entirely.

Okay, time to start memorising formulas.

Last night at Duane Reade, the cashier refused to give me a bigger bag even though my stuff barely fit in the smaller bag. I didn't have time to argue, so I just left. A few blocks later, the bag broke and most of the stuff spilled out into the street with lots of traffic- never to be seen again. Again, I didn't have time to go back and explain what happened, so I just kept going and tried to forget about it. Now tell me I don't have a cumulonimbus cloud following me around almost all the time.

And a few blocks after that, I almost got hit by a car- I felt the hot metal against me. And a few blocks after that, I saw a woman actually get hit by a car. She clearly had the right-of-way when walking across, and the guy turning just couldn't wait an extra second and clipped her from behind and then took off. She was basically okay, but still... I really don't ever remember a time when this happened so often. And there have been more and more bikers speeding down the sidewalks (it is still illegal to ride on the sidewalks, right?).

I'm getting tired of writing about so much crap all the time, but I want to document it so I can remember.

I heard someone go in the "vacant" apartment next to me last night. I have no idea what's going on over there but hopefully it won't be too loud.

The AT&T billing department is driving me nuts (don't have time to go into detail- just wanted to get it out there).

And one more piece of negative news: I'm starting to hear lots of complaints from other freelance workers (changing assignments without telling the worker and then yelling at them for it, late or less-than-agreed payments...). It's getting rather ridiculous, this trend.

Can I end this entry on a good note? Um... the deli got Inko Tea back in stock yesterday.

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