July

July 1 9:30 AM
Listening to: "Side Show"
Site of the Day: Drug Testing Fails Our Youth
Interesting News Story of the Day: Botswana's Gains Against AIDS Put U.S. Claims to Test
Deep Throat, the Source of Countless Guesses
Urban History to Go: Black, No Sugar
Advocates Cite Safety of Marijuana Vaporizer
Medical Marijuana? Rhode Island Says Yes
Nickel and Dimed Will Make NYC Debut in 2005-06
Bank of America to buy MBNA for $35 bln
House may vote in July on Social Security plan
Boil Water Advisory Issued For NYC After Heavy Rains
Advance to Boardwalk! (depressing)
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Went to the doctor on Wednesday. He reconfirmed my understanding that my anxiety is purely bio-chemical and not psychological, so only medication will work for treatment. I was hoping some kind of cognitive therapy would help, since I don't like the idea of being on medication long term, but no such luck. I will look into more natural options at some point, but for the time being, I will take Lorazepam. He said as long as I don't take it too much (every other day and sometimes once a day is okay), it should be fine. So I'll do that for a few months and then go talk to him again. He said it can take up to a few years for the brain to get back to normal but maybe sooner, if I'm lucky. And as for my other issues (colds, headaches, etc), he said I could have some kind of virus that will go away on its own at some point but to talk to him about it if it doesn't go away soon.

I was exhausted for my errands on Wednesday. It was extremely humid (and pouring some of the time), which didn't help. Nor did having to go to 4 pharmacies to try to get my prescription filled since the first 3 didn't have it. I got more and more tired as the afternoon went on, and at 17:00, I called David to see if he would mind me cancelling on our evening plans. He was kind and let me off the hook, so I got to stay home and rest. And rest I did. I fell asleep around 20:30 and slept for about 12 hours. Did the same thing last night. I'm hoping that won't happen again tonight. I still feel tired now though (with major congestion) and was tired for most of yesterday. This is really getting old.

Traffic's still been quiet for the most part- sooooo appreciated.

Kristin's coming down for the weekend after I get back from Maine. And then Andy comes up the following weekend. July's going to be a busy month.

They were doing some kind of painting (or something with heavy fumes) in the apartment next to me the day before yesterday. The smell wafted through to my apartment- definitely didn't help with my congestion. The smell is still noticeable near the entrance of my apartment and not sure if that's contributing to my congestion or not. I'm still really congested.

Finally cut my hair the day before yesterday. Much better.

Picked up "Mostly Harmless" and "Salmon of Doubt" on my way home the day before yesterday. Haven't read either. Looking forward to both (maybe I'll finish both in Maine, if I have time).

I saw a strange thing this morning. The sun. Haven't seen that since Phnom Penh. It's a nice day so far- not too humid, not too hot, bluish skies...

I'm still sleeping too much. I did only sleep about 6 hours the night before last, but last night I slept 10 hours. Started feeling faint, tired, and got a headache around 17:00, got in bed at 18:00, fell asleep by 19:00 and woke up at 5:00. I felt okay for a few hours this morning, but now I'm having trouble breathing and I'm pretty congested. I took a Lorazepam at 18:00 yesterday, so I really don't want to take another one now. If this feeling doesn't go away in an hour, I'll take one.

Yesterday was a good day until 17:00. Got a lot done and caught up with Eytan (caught up with Josh the night before last, caught up with Andy this morning). Today I hope to do some work, pack for Maine, finish dealing with the mail, and do some cleaning/organising of the apartment.

I'm not getting a lot done because of my breathing problem. I packed a small amount and did some work. I will deal with the mail in a few minutes, but as for cleaning and finishing packing, I'll do that tomorrow morning.

July 4 12:30
Listening to: Jethro Tull- "Nightcap"
Site of the Day: Heart of the Beholder
Interesting News Story of the Day: Filibuster Deal Puts Democrats In a Bind
Devoted to God, but Not the Pledge
Dulles Passengers Delayed by Luggage
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They're doing work in the apartment next to me again. It smells like strong turpentine or something- not helping my breathing/congestion issues. Until they started doing that though (about 11:00), I felt fine. And I only got 7.5 hours of sleep last night (midnight-7:00).

I'm all packed (other than the last minute things)- finished up last night. I also cleaned the apartment last night. And the mail's taken care of (did that this morning). I feel all caught up from my month away. And now I have a week away. Guess I'll get caught-caught up at the end of July. And August is my organising and do unique New York things month. I need to get rid of things I don't want to move and before I move, I want to do things I've wanted to do around the city but never found the time. Can't believe it's time to start thinking about moving. Not the big things yet (housing, car [yuck], etc.), but the pre-move stuff like minimising my stuff.

Anyway, I leave tomorrow morning. Not sure if I'm update from Maine or not. Be back the 13th.

July 14 10:30
Listening to: The Bats- "Couchmaster"
Site of the Day: Manhattan User's Guide
Interesting News Story of the Day: The Avant-Garde, Rarely Love at First Sight
Packed Planes Give Passengers Fewer Choices
A Higher View of What's Italian
Fire Causes Subway Delays at Lexington Avenue Station
Why Are New York City Teachers Flunking?
Better Hope the Seats Are Comfortable
We're Not in Watergate Anymore
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I'm home and I have more to catch up on from a week away than from my month away in June. Why is that? Add that to the fact that I have visitors the next 2 weekends, and I feel very crunched right now. Then I think about August, when I want to organise my things (to prepare for moving), do some things around the city, read the new Harry Potter book, switch my website, organise and put up a ton of pictures, and watch the whole season of Six Feet Under. I doubt the last thing will happen- perhaps I'll watch it once a week in the fall. But let's just take one day at a time- way too overwhelemed otherwise. Yesterday I got a lot of work done before I got completely exhausted around 19:00. Today I need to finish up a lot of work, finish dealing with some email, clean the apartment, call about the AC not working in my bedroom, and call RCN to find out why I don't have home phone service. Tomorrow I'll work, organise a lot of personal stuff, deal with my mail and health insurance/bill issues before Kristin gets here.

My trip was pretty good, for the most part. After some anxiety issues at the beginning of the ride up (stopped to rest, then had to pee, couldn't find anywhere to do that- spend 30 minutes looking for a place- spend 30 minutes trying to find something to eat- eventually got back on the highway), I finally got to Maine after 6.5 hours; fortunately traffic wasn't too bad.

Neil, Maxine, and Abby were there for the first few days I was there, so I spent some time with them in between working. I was able to spend more time with them than I had planned since I couldn't do a lot of the work because the Internet connection had major issues the whole week (they finally got it all straightened out the day before I left). No Internet connection not only meant no Internet, but no connection to the terminal server. Hence, work was not as productive as it was supposed to be. But I did a lot of technical work and strategic planning and general ideas/consulting as well, so it was definitely good that I was there.

I had anxiety/congestion issues the first 3 days. Went to sleep early, woke up early, felt fine until sometime in the afternoon, was a mess the rest of the day until I went to sleep early... But amazingly, the last 4 days, I was anxiety-free. I haven't had 4 healthy days in a row since... I don't know when. Maybe sometime in February or March. That improved my energy and mood.

The fun activities I planned didn't turn out to be so fun but weren't too bad. The concert at the Hamilton House was below average. I spent the time trying to pay attention to the music, but most of the time really was spent people watching and thinking about various useless things like making a list of all the airlines I've flown or seeing if I could identify some of the flowers in the garden where the concert was held. The music was folk/bluegrass, with a solo performer on the guitar or auto harp- he really wasn't very good- couldn't sing, had simplistic songs, except for one at the beginning and one at the end where he did some impressive finger picking.

The hike in the White Mountains didn't turn out to be in the White Mountains. I had posted a question at VT to see if anyone could tell me about a good hike in the White Mountains where I could avoid the masses. Two people replied with information about the same mountain- Mt. Monadnock. So I just went on their advice rather than look into it further. Turns out, it was in the Green Mountains. The hike was completely in the woods until the summit, which I couldn't even make (my knee was getting tired, and I had the 1.5 miles back downhill to do [downhill is usually more painful than uphill for me], so I thought I should stop and head back). First I spent an hour trying to hike Gap Mountain (nearby), but I wasn't enjoying it, so I turned around and went over to Mt. Monadnock. I walked up the muddy/rocky trails, waiting to see if there would be a clearing at some point. If I had known ahead of time what the hike would be like, I might have enjoyed it more. But I was expecting hiking up a grassy, tree-free (or at least not a wooded area) mountain, and that's not what this was. It was interesting to see the other hikers: a solo man, a solo woman, a father and his 6-8 year old son, a mother and her 6-8 year old son, a father and his 9-11 year old daughter, and a 20-23 year old guy and his mother (guessing on those ages). So nice to see that some people still take their kids on not-specifically-for-kids-related activities. So many people think family activities are supposed to be strictly child-focused: a family day in town may include a children's museum, kiddie rides, a Disney movie, and a hot dog lunch. How do those things benefit the whole family? I remember during my youth enjoying a day of blackberry picking, yoghurt making, dancing around the living room to Schubert, and cooking veggies for dinner. Some kids activities can be a good thing, but why don't most people think that kids can handle participating in adult activities anymore? Anyway, so I had about a 4 mile hike in the wooded mountains. Next time (hopefully I can find a next time sometime in the near future, although looking ahead, I don't see when I'll be able to get up there) I'll find a White Mountain hike.

Question for people who think this way about the recent bombing in London: Why does that concern you more than the various bombings in other regions of the world like Indonesia or Thailand? The bombings in Thailand kill people, so if you're bothered by the act of terrorism, why not be concerned about all acts of terrorism? Is it because it happened in a Western country or because the media focuses on it waaaay more than acts of terrorism in other countries? If the bombing in London bothered you because you're concerned about safety in general, you should be more concerned with poor drivers than acts of terrorism since car accidents are way more common. Can anyone answer my question?

I was listening to some of the tapes I made on my 2003 road trip on the way up to Maine. First of all, it was confusing listening to detailed information about routes through Wyoming while driving through Connecticut. I sometimes forgot where I was. Of course, what was more strange was when Neil said something about coming to visit me, I forgot where that would be. I had to remind myself where I lived. That's never happened to me before. Anyway, listening to the tapes reminded me what I learned about this country:
- People play games on 2-laned roads. They go slowly when you're following them, then you have the opportunity to pass them, and they speed up, you give up, get back behind them, and they slow down. That happened to me in every state.
- Almost no one seems to drive in states other than their own. As soon as I crossed a state line, all the license plates would change to that state. All the cars in front of me in the previous state wouldn't cross the line- they would turn off somewhere in their state.
- All towns, no matter how small, have the same 2 businesses. No, not McDonalds and Wal-Mart (although most towns did have those). No, every town had a body shop and a place to buy signs for businesses or to paint on the side of your truck for advertising. Every single town had this. And they were often right next to each other (and often the only business in sight). So maybe this is how those towns work: the truck driver would have an accident, need body shop repair, and then need the sign shop to put the advertising back on the truck. Not sure what they were advertising, since I never saw the trucks and never saw any other businesses (not even small shingles in front of people's houses advertising a service). Oh, and I'm sure the sign store also sells a lot of body shop business signs and signs for other sign stores.
- And of course I already wrote about the homogeneousness of the country, so I won't go into that again here.

Yesterday's ride home had more traffic than the way up. Plus there was that same construction in Norwalk that was a problem in March, but this time was even more of a problem. We only moved a few feet in 30 minutes. Then traffic in the city was atrocious! And 5 cars/cabs/trucks came REALLY close to hitting me on Lex. It took forever to get back to Avis. The trip took close to 7 hours, and I only stopped once to get gas.

Traffic's back in full force here. That and the construction woke me up this morning. South Berwick was so nice and quiet (other than the birds, which I drowned out with the fan).

I have (or almost have) new neighbours. I saw delivery people loading stuff in the apartment next to me when I got home yesterday.

July 15 17:00
Listening to: Lowen & Navarro- "All the Time in the World"
Site of the Day: RadioLovers.com (Old Time Radio Shows)
Interesting News Story of the Day: Rove Confirmed Plame Indirectly, Lawyer Says
Senators Fight Hidden Sex in 'Grand Theft Auto'
Kenya Seeks Bandits After Massacre in Rural North
Md. Schools Appeal 'No Child' Scores
Marijuana groups sues political practices commissioner
War on marijuana
One Mo' Time
Subway service disrupted by smoke
Big Projects Are Slowed by Disputes With Labor
Ten Injured In Manhattan Building Collapse
Let The Price Wars Begin! Jet Blue To Face off With Continental In Newark
City Pays The High Price of Staying Alert ($1 million/day?!?)
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The humidity was absolutely disgusting yesterday (not much better today). I walked outside, and within 30 seconds, I had trouble breathing and felt awful. Fortunately, I wasn't out long.

But then I got home and those horrible fumes were back. I thought they were coming from the apartment next to me, but no, it's the apartment down the hall. Not sure what's really going on over there, but when I was taking the trash to the shute around 22:00 last night, the door to the apartment was open and I heard some workers. The apartment looks empty, so I'm not sure what kind of workers they are- workers aren't allowed in the building after 16:00 and workers working for the building don't work after 16:30. Whoever they are and whatever they're doing, I really hope they stop soon so I can breathe again. They are back working today, but so far, no new fumes yet (just the lingering ones from yesterday).

Speaking of working on things in this building, I now not only need a working AC unit in my bedroom but the living room unit really needs help. The filter is falling out of the bottom and before I noticed that and turned off the unit, water leaked all over the floor- made quite a mess. Supposedly they're coming up to fix it tomorrow morning.

RCN amazingly showed up today around 16:00 and actually fixed my home phone. A small piece of luck.

Kristin comes in tonight. Not sure how much time I'll be able to spend with her other than dinner tomorrow night (going to Balthazar).

And Paula and Harvey are coming in Monday (leaving Wednesday, then Andy comes up Thursday). Busy times.

July 18 21:30
Listening to: Emmet Swimmimg- "Earplugs 50 Cents"
Site of the Day: Global Architecture Encyclopedia
Interesting News Story of the Day: Follow the Uranium
Care Providers Need a Union, 3 Groups Say
Bloomberg to Extend Tougher Promotion Rules to 7th Graders
A Reminder That the Sky Really Can Fall Now and Then
It's Slurpee Time on 23rd Street. Are Camaros Next?
Prosecutor expresses concern about proposed city ordinance
Shelf stocker
Science fusion
Dancing For Health Insurance?
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The weekend was both good and bad:
Good:
- Friday night, Kristin and I had an interesting conversation about religion (made me want to read parts of the Qur'an, Bible, Dhammapada, and some other religious texts again as well as Richard Dawkins' work).
- Saturday afternoon, we went to the Cloisters.
- Got enough work done before and after the Cloisters to make me decide to join Kristin and her friends for a bit after dinner.
- Saturday night, we went to Balthazar.
- Had a very productive Sunday morning.
- Sunday afternoon, we had Dim Sum at HSF and then took a walk over the Brooklyn Bridge.
Bad:
- After dinner, we went to Peculier Pub to meet up with some people she met recently at a Con. I wasn't planning on staying long, since I wanted to get home and do some work, but I left soon after I got there because I got really tired (was also feeling crummy on and off during dinner, but that was anxiety-related, I took a Lorazepam but it didn't really help). I felt worse and worse on the way home. Fortunately, I waited until I got home to vomit.
- So I didn't get anything done Saturday night.
- Sunday after our walk, we came back here (in the pouring rain) and soon after, I felt sick again. No vomiting this time, but I was exhausted and felt crummy all night.
- So once again, I was unproductive.

I wasn't dehydrated (had a ton of water both days), so I wonder if humidity causes nausea without dehydration being an issue (something to check into when I have time). Just another thing to add to the list of health problems I get to deal with.

Oh, and a random, curious thing: Friday night, Kristin and I both had dreams about fishing. We did not discuss fishing before bed, or any other recent time. I have not gone fishing since I was 5 (but I did see some people fishing in Maine last week). She'd been more recently than that, but not any time in the past few years. Her dream involved being on a boat with a bowl of fish on the bottom of the boat- they put them there after they caught them. One of the fish was a child disguised as a fish. In my dream, I was fishing on a beach near the ocean. While I was catching a fish, I saw huge, plastic fish swallow up the person next to me. I think it was some kind of government spy mission.

I had lots of other dreams this weekend but can't remember anything now.

Paula and Harvey didn't come down today because Paula's sick, for a change (food allergies). So Harvey changed his travel plans to a day trip. And now my plans for tomorrow are changed.

I called again this morning about the AC since they still haven't come to fix it. The floor that got wet is now really warped and bubbling. I told them that so they'd might get here to fix it sooner rather than later (and fix the floor as well), but no such luck. Hopefully they'll come tomorrow.

Had lots of interesting work today- mostly business consulting- strangely, one of my strong points.

I'm exhausted. Time for bed. Have I mentioned recently how much I dislike my new lifestyle of being sick and/or tired so much of the time?

Definitely a 3-H day yesterday: hot, hazy, HUMID. And I walked all over the place in it running errands. But I didn't get sick this time and I had less water than I had over the weekend. I give up trying to figure myself out.

Traffic was particularly obnoxious last night. I did manage to fall asleep rather quickly though. A plus in my various health issues is that I can fall asleep much faster than I ever have before. But maybe I can't stay asleep as well as I used to. Construction woke me up early this morning.

The handyman left a message yesterday saying he was going to come up and look into the AC units. I have AC in my bedroom (I think that unit just needed to be reset, for a change), but my living room is still a problem. No idea when he's coming back to fix that or the warped floor. Maybe I'll call later.

Just learned that this Sunday is Parent Day. Parent Day? How many more ridiculous holidays can we come up with where consumers feel obligated to buy things they can't/shouldn't afford?

After consistently nasty weather for almost the entire year, this weekend is supposed to be beautiful- sunny, not too humid, no rain... That's probably because Andy's coming up and he brings good luck.

Launch seems to want me to listen to showtunes today. Don't like most of what they've played me.

Today's been a day of police vehicles flying (or trying to fly) down my street (maybe going to investigate something at the 59th Street Bridge). There's been 3 caravans of around 10-20 so far.

Time to get back to my scattered day of trying to take care of as many things as possible so I'll have less to do while Andy's here.

The weekend was mostly good (would have been great, minus my health issues). The future... doesn't look so great. Can't go into why, but these weekends are like, "Here, isn't this wonderful? Don't get too used to it 'cause you can't have the situation long term." So, like almost everything else in my life, this is one more thing for which I have no control over the outcome (not that I didn't know this before; it just reminded me). And I'm not hopeful about the outcome. I need to find something over which I can have some control. Maybe I should become a proofreader. That seems like a low stress/low responsibility-type job where the same thing is expected for each assignment. I'd know where I stand, won't have to listen to stories about how I can't possibly understand what I'm doing because I'm too young (the English language has certain rules, you learn them, and you apply them to everything you read, right?). Proofreaders probably are at a low risk of being sued for something. 90% of the work hours I wouldn't have to be with other people. The only problem, I think, would be getting enough work. I wonder if it's possible to earn a livable wage?

Jeff called last night. I think the last time he called me was on my birthday in 2003, so I have no clue what possessed him to call last night, but I'm really glad he did. It was so great to catch up with him and a perfect night to do it, since I was in the Andy-just-left-I-don't-want-to-be-alone-tonight phase (which I'm over now, but the first day is always difficult).

Traffic got really nasty last night for some reason (so much for a quiet Sunday night). Plus there was some kind of construction/road work going on (clanging and such). I wound up sleeping from 4:00-8:00. Definitely wanted more sleep. Maybe I can get more tonight.

The humidity's back, and that combined with not having AC in my living room makes my breathing difficulties worse. I'll call tomorrow morning to see when they plan on getting around to fixing it.

Paula and Harvey came in today- staying until Thursday.

Got a lot done today. If I get a lot done tomorrow too, maybe I'll start on "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" tomorrow night. And Paula bought the new Bill Maher book, so if she's finished with that before she leaves, maybe I can read that sometime soon too.

And if anyone has the first 4 episodes of this season's Six Feet Under on tape, let me know if I could borrow it for a few days (if you're not local, I'll gladly pay for shipping).

Heard from Daniel yesterday. He and Naomi are settled in Yuma now (he seems to have the same opinion about Arizona as I did). Wish I had time to go visit them. If I were independently wealthy, I'd take 6 months and travel: 2 months to visit people and 4 months to visit interesting places. And then do the same thing 12 months later.

Yep, life's back to normal. Got stuck in the elevator in my building this morning (they said someone was coming to fix it today- I just got unlucky to get in it before they came to fix it), saw a man get hit by a car this afternoon, and got a message from the handyman saying he fixed the AC in my living room and yet there are parts still hanging out the bottom of it.

Paula's sick again. Marcell loves her doctor and wants Paula to see him while she's here, so she made her an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. Plans have been changed around because of her illness and because of some client changes, so I'm not sure how much longer they'll be here. I just know Harvey's staying in the city tomorrow rather than flying elsewhere like originally planned.

Why are people fighting stem cell research rather than fighting freezing fertilised eggs? Stem cell research uses unused fertilised eggs from fertility clinics. Eggs which would just be thrown away otherwise since there are often more eggs than necessary. So shouldn't they fight the underlying "problem" rather than fighting something useful? Or as Bill Maher suggested, women who are against unused eggs should "Put your cervix where your mouth is. Now, right now in America, there are thousands of stem cells sitting in fertility clinics that are not allowed to be used for research, will be destroyed after a year or two, and could be right now implanted in a lady�s hoo-hoo to make a screaming, mewling infant that would, ironically, make you sorry you were ever born." Let's really overpopulate the country.

July 27 12:30
Listening to: Genesis- "Abacab"
Site of the Day: Citizens for Legitimate Government
Interesting News Story of the Day: Massachusetts governor vetoes emergency contraception bill
Solar electricity is gaining ground in U.S., worldwide
Temperatures Rising, Power Declining, Thunderstorms Coming
TLC Approves Hybrid Taxis
Denver voters could have chance to legalize marijuana
It�s high time that marijuana laws be liberalized
House Republicans Predict CAFTA's Passage Tonight
Abu Ghraib Dog Tactics Came From Guantanamo
Iran says will resume key atomic work despite EU
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I felt like a part of the city today. It's an interesting feeling that I can't explain very well. I just am more aware of how everything's working (or not working) and how various people/places/things fit into all of it and where I fit in as well: the traffic lights, the bike messengers, the people crossing the street while reading a book, the doormen, lunch breaks, homeless, construction, water towers... I'm aware of all this on a daily basis, but some days I feel more connected to it rather than most days when I don't feel anything, and it has nothing to do with things going well or not going well- it's just a different feeling. Like I said, it's not very explainable.

I chose to read "New Rules" yesterday since it was all I had time for (I read all the ones I didn't catch from the shows)- I'm pretty sure I'll start "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" tonight. Here are 4 of my favourite shorter new rules (don't feel like typing out the longer ones):
- I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter", verifying the amount, deciding, "No, I don't want cash back," and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who's supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy. Paper? Plastic? I don't have time for that! I've just been called to do cleanup on aisle nine.
- No paying kids to tattle. A high school in Georgia says it will pay kids up to $100 to rat out friends who steal, cheat, or drink. Just like the Bible says. Because it's never too early to look into your own heart and ask yourself: What would Judas do?
- I don't need my cell phone to take pictures or access the Internet. I just need it to make a phone call. From everywhere! Not just the places it likes!
- News organizations have to stop using the phrase: "We go beyond the headlines." That's your job, dummy! You don't see American Airlines saying, "We land our jets on the runway!

And here's one of my favourite lines from "Rhinoceros" (which I reread the other day):
"...there was nothing precise or objective about the way Botard argued... [his] attitude was too passionate, as usual, and therefore over-simplified... What's more he talks in cliches, and commonplace arguments leave me cold."

I decided not to do a yearly roundup of what-searches-bring-people-to-my-site this year. But I will mention some interesting places in the world from which people are reading my site:
- Croatia
- Malaysia
- UAE
- Cocos (Keeling) Islands
- Guadeloupe
- Indonesia
- Bangladesh
- Pakistan
- Morocco
- Iran
- Kuwait
- Turks and Caicos Islands
- Uruguay
- Slovenia
- Guyana
- Belize
- Mongolia
- Mozambique
- Saudi Arabia
- Zambia
- Bulgaria
- Jordan
- Sudan
- Tanzania
- Fiji
- Slovakia
- Zimbabwe
- Trinidad and Tobago
- Papua New Guinea
- Botswana
- Samoa
- Nigeria
- Brunei

I think I'm over the sleeping 10-12 hours phase. The last 2 nights, I've slept 6 hours. And the past several nights before that, for various reasons, I got even less than that. And other than the usual breathing problems from time to time (especially in the increasing humidity), I've felt fine. Maybe I did have some kind of virus from May-July that was causing the extreme sleeping and other problems. Hopefully I'll continue with my former sleeping habits now. Then I'll just need to wait around for the anxiety stuff to go away. I don't remember if I wrote this yet or not, so I'll just mention it now. The doctor said in these cases, the anxiety goes away within a couple of years. He told me that at the end of May, and I was thinking I'll have a couple years from then. No, stupid. The problem doesn't start when you're diagnosed; the problem starts when the problem starts. Which, in this case, was already a year ago. So hopefully I'm close to halfway through this misery.

Paula went to Marcell's doctor. He didn't tell her anything she didn't already know, but he did order some herbs for her to take when the colitis acts up. Hopefully that will help.

I did start "Harry Potter" last night but didn't read as much as I planned since I spent a couple hours chatting with Josh about physics and cameras/film. That was too interesting to stop short. Then I spent a little time emailing back and forth with Andy. So I didn't get started reading until 2:00 and I read until 3:00. Got about 70 pages into it. Will hopefully have time to read a lot tonight. And don't worry, I won't write any details about it here.

I miss being able to smoke pot. For many reasons. Creativity, relaxing, enhancing a movie or album...

I asked about the AC in the living room, and they told me it's a new unit and should be working. I turned it on yesterday and it's still leaking water out the bottom, soaking the filter and getting water all over the floor. So I called them again. Hopefully they'll come up and actually fix it sometime before I move.

Crazy stuff going on with work. I hate games people play- both personal and business games really bother me, but business is harder to deal with since you can't ignore them whereas personal games sometimes you can ignore. When I have to deal with business games, it just adds to my growing hatred of all things business. Really makes me want to go live in a cabin somewhere and never see anyone. Sometimes I really wish I was the type of person who could do something like that.

Wow, as I was typing this, the handyman came up to look into the AC unit. He doesn't understand why it's leaking since "they checked it before". So he's working on it now. I wonder how many times they'll need to check it before it's really fixed.

My schedule looks kind of full tonight. I think I might take most of tomorrow off and do a lot of reading.

Traffic was absolutely horrific last night. It made reading "Harry Potter" less enjoyable. How was I supposed to be sucked into the world of Hogwarts with the "Philip Glass on Crack" symphony going on outside?

More business games going on. I HATE IT!!!

I don't remember the name of them, but I think I have one of the beasts J.K. Rowling wrote about in "Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them"- the ones that live in Muggle's electronics and cause them not to work. I haven't had a cordless phone work properly in years. Then there's the computer, TV, DVD... I wish the reason they didn't work was because of a pest rather than just that they make things too cheaply. Are there any companies left that make well-made products? I don't mind paying more for something if it will last a reasonable amount of time.

My future looks more positive now. Nice to know something's going in the right direction.

But thinking about the future reminds me of the prospect of moving. To eliminate some of the agony, I'm going to spend 15-30 minutes a day from now until I finish, getting rid of stuff. It's something I really want to do anyway, since I hate stuff and really don't want most of it (it's all stuff from 5-15 years ago, when I liked stuff and bought stuff on a semi-regular basis, unlike now- hardly anything is from the last 5 years), but it always seems like such a daunting task (especially the donating it part- lugging heavy bags in a taxi to a thrift shop sounds irritating). But if I do it in small stages, it shouldn't be as bad (just more time consuming- all the separate trips). On that note, time to head into the closet to see what can go.

July 31 19:30
Listening to: Kate & Anna McGarrigle- "Dancer with Bruised Knees"
Site of the Day: Wi-Fi Thank You
Interesting News Story of the Day: The Ultimate F.O.C. (Friend of Craig)
British, Saudi Investigators Examine al Qaeda Link to London Bombings
New Flood Alerts in Bombay, Toll Nears 1,000
GOP Says It Will 'Bury' Name-Calling Candidate
Iran Threatens to Restart Nuke Activities
Retail Gangs: A New Breed of Thieves
Israel Warns Militants on Gaza Withdrawal
New planet is found on edge of solar system
CHANNELING THEATRE: Chats with Jeffrey Tambor and Frederick Weller
More Token Booths Closed
Breath Being Used To Determine State Of Health
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Yesterday was not a good day physically- lightheaded and faint on and off all day. Went to bed early, got a lot of sleep, feel much better today.

Today's been productive. I went through a huge pile of paperwork, did some work, cleaned, took care of laundry, and started dealing with the last 4 months of pictures (hope to put them up on the site as well as transfer everything to my new site by the end of August).

Things about moving I'm going to have major trouble with:
- job market
- moving expenses
- actual moving process
- needing a car
Things that will make those things easier:
- Aside from coming across a large sum of money for the car and moving expenses, I have no idea. If I had some ideas, they wouldn't be major trouble. Anyone have any advice?

Oh, I finished the "Half-Blood Prince". Too short. When will book 7 be available? And I wish she'd write "Hogwarts, A History" before she goes onto something completely different. I think that would be a neat book to read.

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