February

I'm in the taking-hours-to-fall-asleep phase. I lay there thinking of all kinds of things, having conversations about nothing of importatance with myself and others (out loud and in my head), yelling at myself for not being asleep yet, getting up to do one more thing before sleep (like play trivia games), getting back in bed, thinking about more things, yelling at myself... I think I got 3 hours of sleep last night.

Well, the Black Play: American Space class is not at all what I expected. I'm not exactly sure what the class is supposed to be about, but two of the books we need are books about Venus Williams and Tiger Woods. He didn't have a syllabus but said he would bring one next time. The teacher is a mild-mannered gay writer who is a bit flaky. He wants us to turn in an autobiography. Today he made us get into pairs, find out about how the other person got their name, and we had to tell the class about the other person's name. A bit odd. I don't know how much work is involved for this class, but I know several papers are involved. I really don't want to take it. I don't need another English class (although how this is even an English class, I'm not sure), I just need some elective credits. I spent the rest of the afternoon checking to see if any other classes had an open slot. I tried for 2 hours- kept putting in the same 4 course codes, desparate to find another class to take. No such luck. I'll keep trying over the weekend, but if I don't find anything, I guess I'm stuck with Mr. Flake.

The weather report this morning said it would warm up to 60 today. Um, do these people ever go outside? It was FREEZING! I was going home around 3:30- the sky was black, the wind was strong, the rain was coming down hard, and it was FREEZING!

I just watched The Egg. The show had stories about August Wilson, "Urinetown", Kenneth Lonergan ("Lobby Hero"), and Anne Nelson's "The Guys" (play about September 11 done at the Flea Theatre). I wish the show was either an hour or they had fewer stories and went more in depth. I was thinking about watching Theatre Talk, Authur Laurents is on, but I think I'll watch "Circle of Friends" instead. I saw it a while ago, but I hardly remember anything about it. It didn't make a big impression on me. I think I just wasn't in the mood for it when I saw it. So I'll try it again.

Tomorrow I'm going to stick to my February resolution and find somewhere fun to do the reading for my Jazz and Theatre classes. Maybe I'll find somewhere fun to read in Chelsea- then I can go to the Chelsea Market and pick up some cheap wine glasses and stuff. I also need to clean up the mess my apartment has turned into. Every time I try to take out the trash, the shute is locked. Plus, my art arrived. I have 3 huge boxes in the living room. I really should get to work on doing something with them. Although, I don't know how I'm supposed to hang large, heavy frames by myself. Maybe I should wait until the next time Harvey is up here. I also should probably write my autobiograpy too, but I have this unrealistic feeling that I'll be able to get into another class. I don't want to admit to myself that I'll have to take this Black Play: American Space class. Writing papers about plays is one thing- I'm a theatre major now, at least it's related to my major. But writing papers about Tiger Woods for no reason other than to get 3 credits... I really don't think is necessary. Can I afford to only take 6 credits this semester? I'd like to graduate some time this century. Why can't people drop classes rather than just stop showing up to them? It would sure help out people like me. I guess I'll keep trying through the weekend to see if I can register for either Brain and Behaviour, Math, Shakespeare Survey, or US History. Those are classes I can't see anyone dropping, but you never know. If I can't get in another class by Monday afternoon, I'll have to decide whether it's smart to only take 6 credits this semester. I wish there was a way to find out about the courses before registering. Why can't they put the syllabus online? Then we'd know what we're getting into before signing up and wouldn't have to go through all this switching around. And why can't there be more sections available for some of the more popular classes? Psychology is the most popular major at this school. Each semester, there is only 1 (or occasionally 2) section of 3-4 Psychology classes (out of the 10-15 that they supposedly offer). How is everyone supposed to graduate when they can't get into the classes they need? And why do people have an obsession with honking in this city?

The WEF convention is definitely taking over my neighbourhood. There are more cops than people. This afternoon, the people protesting were marching down Lexington. They had music and floats- just like an ordinary parade. But they had nasty messages- like the dragon float that said, "WEF is dragon us down". There are cops on the streets, TONS of cops driving around, cops in every store in the area (like the Gap and the delis). I went to Barnes and Noble this afternoon to read some travel books and there was a sign that said the atrium enterance was closed because of the WEF.

I managed to register for Brain and Behaviour this afternoon!! I bet I got in because the class is an insane amount of work so everyone dropped it, but I don't care. I won't mind doing an insane amount of work in a subject I like (I hope). Plus Psychology is my minor so I'll only need one more class after this one to complete my minor (I'm hoping to take either Human Sexuality or Psychology of Women so I can not only complete my minor but finish up with the Pluralism and Diversity classes). I was hoping to take Personality as well- I can still take it as an elective. I'm just so happy I got out of whatever that other class was. That teacher said sometimes he takes whole classes discussing one paragraph or one sentence. Uh, no thank you.

I got some cool research work- researching transportation of the 1800's and stuff. I'll find out more later. I hope it's as fun as it sounds.

Tonight I need to finish cleaning the apartment, read my books for classes, and then I'll probably watch a movie. I didn't enjoy "Circle of Friends" last night. I remembered 1 or 2 scenes from the last time I saw it- both scenes were with Alan Cumming. He really is a great actor! I need to rent some more movies with him.

Can't wait for tomorrow! Go Patriots!

Yesterday was an interesting date- 02-02-02.

I didn't do anything I said I was going to do last night. Instead I wound up working for 5-6 hours. The research project I was working on was quite fun. Lots of cool stuff. Besides the railroad info, I got to look for info on Masonic symbols (a society EXTREMELY difficult to find out about but one I'm very intrigued with), and other random bits of information all from the middle of the 19th century.

So I left myself a lot to do today before the game. I'm taking a break right now though. I read for theatre and started cleaning up the apartment this afternoon; now I need to read for jazz and finish up the apartment. I have about 2 hours- plenty of time.

I'm irritated that the Guiliani ad is being paid for by Monster.com. It's a commercial for a non-commercial thing and should be paid for by FOX. They can afford to not get paid for 30 seconds of air time. But I shouldn't be too upset with FOX- their sports channel has Maryland games on all the time. I find that strange. Why would a New York sports station have on ACC games? I really don't understand that much about the politics of television. Although today, I wish the game wasn't on. I want to watch it. I just turned it on for a minute to see NC State leading 14-9. Come on Maryland- this is a home game against an unranked team. Pull together!

I hope the Patriots play a respectable game. I'll be happy if the score is anything other than 41-7 (that's embarrassing) or 34-31 (too depressing if they only lose by a field goal). In a perfect world (or at least in my perfect world), the Patriots would win the game. But we don't live in a perfect world. My prediction for the game? 34-24, Rams.

Jay called me this afternoon. Wow! That was a surprise. We had a nice 45 minute conversation about his new family, sports, New York, and a bit of politics. He wanted to make sure I wasn't mad at him and I think wants to have me back in his life again. He may want that but gets caught up in Sherry's life and forgets about other people. I'm to blame too though, I never call him either. I'll have to do better. Of course, I really thought he didn't want much to do with me anymore. A phone relationship would be nice. That way I get to have Jay in my life but not have to put up with Sherry too much. Sherry wants to come up to New York for a day at some point to go stand on the platforms to see the destruction. I told him to let me know if they do come up- we could get together for a drink or something. Why she wants to only come for the day and not stay overnight, I don't understand.

And now that I brought up the platforms- I'm a bit surprised that the ticket sales to stand on the platform is higher than ticket sales ever were for the observation deck of the WTC. I know tourists feel a need to go down there and pay their respects or whatever they want to do, but I can't believe it's a bigger tourist attraction than the observation deck was. This is amazing to me.

Okay, time to go clean and read.

I have a few finishing touches to do on the apartment- perhaps I'll do that tomorrow evening. I wound up watching the end of the Maryland game instead. And I decided not to do the reading for jazz. I'll read it during my break on Tuesday- a perfect time for reading. Now if only there was a cute little coffee shop in the area...

What an awesome game! I was getting a bit worried there with all those penalties that cost them a little too much. But it didn't matter. The third biggest underdogs in Super Bowl history won the game!!! (I just feel bad for Drew Bledsoe.)

Traffic woke me up this morning. There were a lot of sick-sounding sirens all morning. I've never heard a siren like that before. I wonder if that's the new sound of emergency vehicles. I hope not- it was a really awful sound. There were some regular-sounding sirens too. There was so much traffic, that it took a while for the emergency vehicles to get through. The first sick-sounding siren took about 3 minutes to get through the traffic. There was no way for me to get back to sleep after that, even though I had only fallen asleep a few hours before that. I guess all the chaos out there has to do with the WEF. For the sake of our local economy, I'm glad they're here, but for the sake of my sanity, I'm glad they're leaving tomorrow.

It was good to get up early though. I debated whether or not to dye my hair this morning. I didn't have that much time but finally decided I had more time this morning than any other time this week and I was getting tired of looking at all the grey. If I have to have grey hair, I wish I had more of it rather than just the top of my head having little squiggly grey things all over the place. Anyway, the Clairol Hydrience "Scarlet Shimmer" seemed to work pretty well.

After the hair dying, I went over to the PF to do some research. It didn't take as long as I thought it would, so I had plenty of time to run to the Food Emporium before early evening, when the buses start to get too crowded (I don't like standing on a bus with heavy shopping bags- not comfortable). I had so much time, I decided to get a little dessert at the Little Pie Company and ate it there while I gave the information to my client over the phone. That was a nice break. I hadn't eaten all day and was beginning to get hungry. The Food Emporium had more options than the other ones I've been to recently. Too bad 43rd St & 10th Ave is not a convenient place for me to do my food shopping all the time.

It's funny to see bunches of cops in and around the chain stores and no where near the independent stores. Taking the bus down 5th Ave., it's something like: chain, chain, independent, chain, independent, independent, independent, chain chain. So it was: cops, cops, no cops, cops, no cops, no cops, no cops, cops, cops.

Now I'm home and pretty tired. Fortunately, I don't have much to do tonight. I think I'll finish reading "There's No Toilet Paper on the Road Less Traveled: The Best of Travel Humor and Misadventure".

I just had an odd feeling. I'm really looking forward to History of Jazz tomorrow. This is what school should be- to find a subject you don't know much about and enjoy learn about it in a relaxing atmosphere without all the busy work.

Marcell had her second surgery last week, so I called her tonight to see if she got the results yet. She did and she's fine- so nice to hear good news. She might be having a little celebration the weekend of the 16th, so maybe I'll get to meet some of her friends.

I've found myself spending a large amount of time thinking about my future "career". I can't stop thinking that getting a degree in theatre is a waste of time. What's the point of a theatre degree? So I've started thinking seriously about a "career" in casting. My goal for the year is to find out as much as I can about casting directors. How competative is the field? How much does an average casting director make? I know big time casting directors make at least $100,000. I always check the job and intern listings at Playbill and I see interships available in casting quite often. This summer I want to take classes, but maybe the summer of 2003 I could get an internship. I'm virtually positive that a casting director is the only job in theatre I'd be good at and still make a living. Now I'm getting excited just thinking about the possibility. I think I'll start researching the possibilities tonight. No sense getting my hopes up about a field that is impossible to break into.

Last night I was in my I-can't-sleep-so-I'll-play-trivia-games-for-a-while mode and the first question I got in the ecclectic category was about something I learned a few hours before in Brain and Behaviour- it was something like: What disease is caused by a lack of dopamine in the substantia nigra? Parkinson's. What a coinquidink!!!

So Brain and Behaviour is going to be a lot of work, but that's okay. The guy teaching goes slow enough (so far) so I can comprehend some of it. It's going to be a lot of memorisation. Fine with me- I've never really had a class that involves memorising so much jargon- it'll be a challenge. And some of it is pretty interesting. For instance, did you know that when you make a typo it's the cerebellum that notices it first and works to correct the mistakes? Practice makes perfect and the cerebellum plays a significant part in that. So we will have 4 exams and one research paper- a lot of work, but it should be worth it. I really got lucky with my classes this semester. I think male professors are more laid back than female professors. I think I learn better with male professors- they make things more clear or something.

Today was fun and productive! First I went to Mailboxes Etc so I could return some clothes that didn't fit. Then I went to The Gap (yuck) to buy one of those trendy carrying bags everyone seems to be using these days. I don't know what they're called- I call them soft briefcases that you can carry. I see why they're popular- they're so convenient! Now I can carry my books to school without killing myself. I walked by Ricky's so I picked up some shampoo that's supposed to keep red hair bright- hope it works. Then I walked along the park for a few blocks (beautiful day, although a tad too windy) on my way to the movie theatre to see "Storytelling". It was definitely an interesting movie- just wish the "fiction" and "non-fiction" parts were more balanced. There was too much of the non-fiction and not enough of the fiction. I did love the "American Beauty" reference- with the narration about the piece of paper swirling around near a brick wall, caught up by the wind- very funny. After the movie, I went to Circle in the Square and the John Golden Theatre to get tickets for "Metamorphoses" and "The Goat or Who is Sylvia?"- both for early March (speaking of early March, I said I'd do this again and I like to keep my promises- so if anyone reading this wants to get me a birthday present, here are some ideas). Then I got a few things at Duane Reade before going home.

I had a few minutes to kill before the movie, so I got some soup and tea and called Paula. I had tried to get an iced latte at the little stand by the park, but they didn't have ice. The place where I got my soup and tea didn't have ice either, but at least the tea was cold. This was my conversation with Paula about that:
Paula: I guess New York has an ice shortage.
Me: Yeah, maybe I should write a musical about a town with an ice shortage and the town where people go if they are found using ice illegally.
Paula: You could call it "The Iceman Not Commeth.
Sometimes she can be really funny!

While waiting for the movie to start, the music playing in the theatre was "Anything Goes". I love New York! Not only do I not have to listen to crappy pop or R&B while waiting for a movie, I get to listen to Cole Porter! It brought back so many memories of that fun production I was in with Heritage Players- with Paul, Sue, Rick, the Cippolini's...

I thought I was going to have to leave early tomorrow to do some research before class, but it won't be ready yet, so I don't have to trapse all over the city again tomorrow. It's also good so I can get up to school early to get the book for Brain and Behaviour and read some of it before class plus read the chapter for Jazz.

Rebecca's friend, Sean, took some pictures of snow tubing day. I thought some of them came out nicely. One of them, I swear I look like I'm 15.

Speaking of pictures, another goal for this month is to put up some recent photos on this site.

I've been having cable modem problems the past couple of days. I called them tonight to see if anyone there knows when my building will be upgraded. The guy I spoke to didn't even know my building was being upgraded. He talked to his supervisor and he didn't have much to say on the matter. I asked for a refund and the best they could do was give me a $15 credit. I really wish I had an option of providers in this stupid building. I do not like Gumley-Haft. They make things very difficult for their tenants.

I noticed something about myself yesterday. Whenever I see something I don't know much about, I first think about how it works. Examples- how movies get produced, how products are created, how the publishing industry works... I think the business world is fascinating.

So last night when I wasn't getting to sleep, I at least was productive. I took everything from my old bag and put it in my new one, I polished my boots, and put away my clean clothes.

It looks like I'll definitely be going to Boston soon. I'll probably leave the morning of the 23rd. It'll be a quick but useful trip. I think I'm going to call Fung Wah and see if I can buy a bus ticket in advance so I don't have to make an extra trip to Chinatown.

I'm going to get to school even earlier today than originally planned so I can get a current sticker for my student ID and print out those emails which I couldn't do the other day since I accidentally deleted them.

My current research project is driving me crazy. Not the actual work, but when my client needs it to be done. First I was going to have to go today, then he said it could wait until Monday, then he called today and said it needed to be finished before Monday, then he said he had some more stuff to give me before I could do what I needed to do, he said he would Fed-Ex it today and then I could do the work Friday after class (I'd have to work really fast since I don't get out of class until 3:30), then he changed his mind and said it could wait until Monday, so we went through all that scheduling stuff for nothing. See, it's driving me crazy. But after Monday, I won't have to worry about it anymore.

Then Monday night I'm going to go see a dialogue with Robert Wilson and Fred Newman. I don't really know anything about these two men, but I'm looking forward to learning about them.

I'm getting really sick of my poor Internet connection. Think I'll call RCN tonight to see if resetting my modem helps.

When the topic is interesting, my theatre professor is wonderful. He knows so much. But he's the most long-winded person I know, and when the topic isn't interesting, the time goes by way too slowly. And he answers questions with questions. Today at the beginning of class, someone asked what aesthetics meant. He spent the entire class "answering" her question (basically asking us a bunch of questions- some hypothetical and some not- like: What is art? Do you know D.W. Griffith? What if you saw two paintings of the same content, one done by someone with no talent and one done by Picasso, would they both be art?...). It was interesting for 5 minutes but got old quickly. To me, it was a waste of a class. Hopefully people will learn not to ask questions like that again.

I decided to go to Serendipity after class. I don't think I'm going to go there again unless someone really wants me to go with them. It's crowded, poor service, and expensive not-so-great food. I like the idea of it so I keep trying to go, but it's just not worth it.

I'm going to use tomorrow as a day to get ahead with school stuff (reading and researching a topic for my Brain and Behaviour paper). February is a busy month for me and March probably won't be much more quiet (mostly theatre related- I'm going to a lot of shows in the next month). I need to make the most of the free time I do have. This is new for me. Usually I put everything off until the last minute. If I do what I say I need to do tomorrow, that will be a first (getting stuff done ahead of time). If that's the case, I'll be doing extremely well with my February resolution.

Tuesday we don't have school (Lincoln's birthday). It's so convenient that it's on a Tuesday (the day I have all 3 classes). If I use tomorrow for school stuff and I get all my work done on Sunday and Monday, I'm going to take Tuesday off and do something fun.

I'm worn out. Don't really know why. Maybe getting back into classes is more tiring then I remember. I had very little energy last night and I slept for around 8 hours last night. And I still don't have much energy today.

I was thinking about watching "Cast Away" this afternoon. I don't know if I want a whole afternoon of Tom Hanks, but I thought I'd give it a try. If I can't deal with it, I'll go back to reading for school.

Speaking of school, I got a letter that I'm on the Dean's List. I don't know why I wasn't on it from the Spring 2001 semester. Maybe you can't get on it your first semester there. Or maybe I was on it and just don't remember getting the letter. I know this is a good thing, but I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it. What does the Dean's List get me?

I'm really not looking forward to my birthday. Getting older usually doesn't bother me that much, but this year it is. I don't know why this year is more of a problem for me. I just think about where I am in life and I'm not thrilled with it. I feel ridiculous that I'm in school getting an undergraduate degree. I know I wasn't ready to deal with school until recently, but now it bothers me that I didn't do the traditional college thing. I was looking at grad schools in New York that have some sort of Psychology program, and I don't think I'd fit in at any of them. The only 2 I've found so far that look like possibilities are in the Boston area. And is that really what I want to do? Spend several years getting a Masters in Psychology? What can I really do with that? A school Psychologist is not really what I'd like to be doing and I don't want to work in drug addiction centres or in a mental hospital. I just want to work in a private or group practice in individual or family counseling. And it's really better to have a PhD for that. I can't imagine going through all that research and writing disertations to get a PhD. And how old will I be if I did decide to do that? 40? And how could I just concentrate on adademics for that long? I really don't think that's the way I want to go. Which brings me back to the Casting Director idea. I'm still serious about that. I don't even need a degree for that. But I'm determined to get one anyway just in case I need to go to grad school one day. Anyway, the point of all this rambling is that I wish I didn't have to get any older while I'm still in school. I want to be more settled by now. The only one putting pressure on me to be more settled is myself. I try to be rational and know that I've done a lot with my life and I enjoy my life the way it is currently, but that doesn't seem to help when I'm lying in bed late at night thinking about the future. I'm thinking about trying to find a Psychologist to go do to talk to them about this. I doubt they'll be able to tell me anything I don't already know, but maybe they can help me find a way to think about things differently and really mean it (I do this already but I don't really believe it). And at the same time, maybe I can ask them how they got through grad school (killing two birds with one stone). I don't know how to find someone though. Do I go to a career counselor? Will they be able to do more than just help me find the right job for me? Plus, it's not just the career issues that is bothering me. It's where I am in this stage of my life, and the problem I have with not being more settled or on the road to being more settled at my age. So I guess I should go to a general Psychologist. How do I pick one? I've never had a Psychologist be able to help me before. What makes me think I'll find one now? I guess I could just keep trying different ones. The problem isn't going away, so it's not like there's a rush on this. Okay, I'm going to research this online today.

I didn't watch "Cast Away" yesterday. Eytan called me right before it started. No loss- I didn't really want to watch it anyway.

I had another good night of sleep last night (mostly this morning, really). I haven't been remembering my dreams, but when I first wake up, I'm aware that they were quiet detailed with lots of intellectual matters and adventure. I'm pretty sure George was in part of one this morning since I woke up with him in my thoughts.

I did an odd thing last night. I watched old videos of shows I was in. I watched parts of "Oliver", "The Bald Soprano", and "Not Now Darling". The quality wasn't great (especially for "Oliver"), but it was still fun watching them. I wish I had videos of other shows I was in (like "Music Man", "House of Frankenstein", and "The Banished Bride").

I talked to Eytan yesterday, and he wants to go with me to see "A Little Night Music" at The Kennedy Center in August. Now I just have to see if I can stay at Neil and Maxine's that weekend. Not that College Park is the ideal place to stay (I'm not thrilled about walking from the Metro stop to their house at midnight), but I can handle it for a few nights. I also want to see "Passion" that same weekend. Then on a weekend in late June, I hope to see "Sunday in the Park with George" and "Company". If it all works out, I'll be getting to know the DC Metro very well.

I did some reading for school- enough that I feel comfortable with material without getting too far ahead. I told myself that if I did enough reading and enough work this weekend, I was going to take Tuesday off and do something fun. Well, I looked through Time Out and didn't see much going on. I don't think there are any movies I'm dying to see. I have enough theatre coming up in the next several weeks. What should I do with my day off? I could go read guide books for London (to find all kinds of things) and Cardiff (mainly to find a cool pub or something), but that won't take very long. I'm going to try to get "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" at the midtown library branch (supposedly they're one of the few who have it checked in) tomorrow after I go to the PF. So maybe I'll read a large chunk of it on Tuesday. That would be a great day off! And hey, I just realised that this Tuesday is Mardi Gras, so that's an even better reason to stay home and read a book.

I remember bits from my dream last night. I was with Meital trying to go see a show. We went to a new TKTS booth on Broadway around 72nd St. Then we were at the Dale's house eating grape lolipops. Then much later in the dream, I was trying to leave a large parking lot somewhere in Baltimore (I think). I was supposed to meet a few people somewhere- we all drove separately to whatever event it was that we were in the parking lot for (I think it might have been some sort of fair), so we just drove separately to the next destination. The other two pulled out of the parking lot before I did. I was having trouble driving. The parking lot was full of pot holes and I was trying to drive around them or something. Also, I think I was trying to leave without people seeing me for some reason. I finally got out and tried to catch up to the others. There was a lot in between the two parts, but I can't remember them now. I really wish I could remember my dreams like I used to. I guess I always go through periods of time when I can't remember much of them, if anything at all.

Today I need to go return a book at the library and hopefully pick up "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". And speaking of libraries, one day soon I will hopefully get to the Performing Arts Library. Then I will go do some research, find somewhere to get a bite to eat, and then go see the dialogue of Robert Wilson and Fred Newman.

I was thinking about going to see "Much Ado About Something" at the Film Forum Wednesday night. The writer will be giving a talk after the movie Wednesday night, so I thought that would be a good night to go. I should probably get a ticket beforehand. I'll make my decision tonight and hope there are still tickets left. I don't like the theory of Christopher Marlowe being the one to write all of Shakespeare's plays, but it should still be an interesting movie. I don't like when things aren't definite. I like facts. I like clear facts without doubts. I don't want there to be strong evidence that anyone other than Shakespeare wrote his plays. But if there is strong evidence, I want it to be absolute. Sure, it would cause an uproar, but if it's a fact than it's a fact. I don't care of the outcome, I just like things to be clear and definite.

Oh, I got a ticket for "My One and Only" for my first night in London. I was thinking of going to see "Faustus" (which if I do see "Much Ado About Something" would be quite fitting to see), but I figured I might be tired from the flight and should see something lighter (like Gershwin).

I was trying to get tickets for some shows at the Kennedy Center, but the site wasn't letting me. Guess I'll do it when I get home tonight or tomorrow.

It was COLD yesterday!

I had a long afternoon at the PF and then I went up to John Jay College for the Robert Wilson/Fred Newman dialogue. They talked about how they approach theatre, why they do theatre, and what theatre means to them. A lot of what they said was interesting, but I often found myself asking myself similar questions and getting lost in my own thoughts. I also took some of their points and saw if I could use it for my theatre project for the semester. What could I do? How could I write a play? Does it have to include social issues? Could I add a line in the script about not wanting to dwell on social issues? How could I make it compelling to watch? Could I write a one-man-show about the thoughts I have as I lie in bed at night? Anyway, my brain was busy at the "performance". It was a fascinating crowd- theatre students, people associated with the Castillo Theatre (where Fred Newman is director), good looking straight men...

Why can I sing sappy, depressing songs better than songs I actually like (upbeat, humourous, strong...)? Oh well, I had fun singing last night. I sang all kinds of sappy, depressing songs. I really love the lyrics on Sarah McLachlan's, "Fumbling Toward Ecstasy". It's a great winter album. It reminds me of Daniel (how he used to listen to it over and over and over) and Ellicott City (walking around with Sarah St. John one year around Christmas).

I think part of the reason I'm not remembering my dreams, is because I've been hitting the snooze button 4-5 times these days. I remember my dreams when I first wake up, and then I have a few mini dreams in between the snoozes, and then the final time I wake up, I barely remember anything. From last night, I remember living in my apartment in Phoenix with Rebecca Gelfand (I believe this is the first time I have dreamed about her- if I have, it was probably close to 20 years ago). She was acting like her old self- blaming me for things, trying to start fights... She insisted I was using her shampoo from her bathroom. I insisted I wasn't (and what was the big deal if I was?). I told her to smell my hair, and she said it smelled like her shampoo. I went to get my bottle and her bottle and asked her to compare. I think it cut to the next scene after that. I had just come back from a long road trip so almost everything I owned was in my car. I went in my room to use the computer, and it wasn't there. I was looking for my old desktop since I was in Phoenix, and then realised that I had a laptop (since I guess it was present day)- and it was in the car from my trip. I went out to my car and discovered it was stolen. I called the cops. Meanwhile Harvey, George, and Bill were there. Then my car came back. I thought that was rather quick. Everyone helped me get some of the stuff from the car. George found my guitar and thought that it was cool that I had one (I miss my guitars). Then things got choppy. I found my car two more times- both times at parking meters (I guess each time I fell back to sleep, I re-found my car- but I remember thinking it was strange that it kept getting stolen and found). George and I played a duet- me on guitar, he on piano. Then I was talking to Bill about cheap flights on United- if you got the tickets at the airport counter, you could fly one way from Chicago to San Francisco for $17 (I even know airline hubs in my dream). Then there was a jazz musician in town that George was dealing with. He decided he was too safe and needed to spice things up a bit and tried to tell him so. He tried to play salsa-jazz, but it wasn't spicy enough. I found him rather attractive. I went over to George, put my arms around his neck, and whispered in his ear that I wanted to try to make the musician unsafe and spicy. Then I woke up for the final time of the morning.

I was having real problems waking up this morning. I guess since I didn't get to sleep until around 5:00. I hate this.

So what's going on with the Canadian skaters vs. Russian skaters? Will the Russian skaters get the gold taken away from them? It seems like the Olympics are taken with the idea of WWIII. Between that and the "Axis of Evil" (and the "Axis of Mostly Evil" and all those other crazy ideas), conflict between contries seems to be the theme of 2002.

Since I didn't finish at the PF yesterday, I had to go back today. Fun fun fun. I don't mind the work, but the people...

And today was just a day of little irritations all over the place. Not waking up as early as I wanted to, traffic, Jekyll & Hyde not having meade again (I doubt they ever will), more traffic, the day going quicker than it was supposed to...

I did decide to get a ticket for "Much Ado About Something" for tomorrow night, so I'll have to find somewhere interesting to go to dinner down there since I so rarely spend time in the West Village/Soho area.

And Brian's definitely coming up this weekend. Rebecca will be staying with her dad, so it'll just be him staying here. I don't know what their plans are exactly, but hopefully we'll all be able to spend a little time together (besides Brian and I watching the Maryland/Duke game on Sunday).

Okay, I just quickly checked- you can not renew new books. Fine. I'm tired now which means I shouldn't be tired later tonight. I'll finish dealing with work stuff (hopefully that won't take later than 11:00) and then I'll read until I feel like it. If I don't get to sleep until 5:00 AM (like yesterday), so be it. I will finish this book before February 19.

I read my entry from last year on February 13th, and read about a dream I had involving lolipops. Strange that lolipops were in my dream the other night. I wonder if they would be in a dream dictionary? I don't believe I've had more than 2 dreams with them in it.

Speaking of dreams, I just got a job working with a company developing dream software. So maybe I can see if lolipops are in their dictionary (I'm sure it won't be). This is definitely a job I'm looking forward to. I've had some cool jobs already this year. Hopefully my professional 2002 will continue this way.

And on this day last year, I saw "Music Man" for the first time! I miss it!

Even though I haven't even seen the first "Harry Potter" movie, I'm already looking forward to the third one. While reading "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban", I became attracted to Professor Lupis. I can't remember the last time I was attracted to a character in a book (possibly I never have). I'm sure by the time the movie is out, I won't remember that I was attracted to Lupis. I probably won't even remember anything about the story. Who knows? It's a long way off.

I read about 100 pages last night. Then I had a nice long sleep. Now I have too much to do this afternoon so I probably won't have time to do dinner before the movie tonight. Oh well. Maybe if I go see that Ram Dass movie there in a couple of weeks, I'll do dinner down there then.

I was thinking about going to hang out with Michael Rubbo (the filmaker) and others at Brothers (a nearby bar) after the Q&A session but decided against it. Instead, I'm going to do a little work, clean up the apartment a bit, and perhaps read a bit more of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" (even though that means I probably won't get to bed until after 3:00 AM). I don't enjoy reading a bit here, a bit there, I'd rather read it all at once (or at least finish it in two or three sittings), but it's better than not reading it at all. I can hopefully read a nice amount while waiting for Brian on Friday night, and then I can finish it up Sunday night after Marcell's get together.

It's Valentine's Day. Oh boy.

I hope having Brian here for a couple days will make my sleeping habits a little better. Last night I read for a while, then got up and did some stuff online, and then read some more. I don't think I fell asleep before 6:00 AM. Then I had to force myself to wake up at 10:00 AM. Bad.

This should be a fun weekend. Hang out with Brian Friday night and Saturday daytime. Then "Crucible" with Liam Neeson Saturday night! Then the Maryland/Duke game Sunday afternoon and Marcell's party late afternoon/evening.

And Monday I might go hear Chris Pan's (member of the MRP) band at Arlene's on the Lower East Side. Anyone in New York reading this- it's a free show at 9:00- come on down.

Not much else to say today.

So I thought I'd take the free time and write about the irritation. Speaking of irritation, I had to watch all the couple-happy people walk around with flowers, balloons, etc. on my way up to school. Ugh. I hope when I next am in a relationship, the person knows me well enough to know I do not like flowers, balloons, etc. If someone loved me and wanted to get me a little gift- music would be nice, theatre tickets, tickets to a ball game...

I hope the woman printing the 48 pages thing isn't printing anything after that (or she didn't hit print twice or something). Then this will have wasted my time and I'll have to come back tomorrow morning.

I hope I can fall asleep before 5:00 AM. Ideally I would fall asleep before 2:00 AM. That would be nice.

Like I said earlier, I really don't have much to say today.

I was bad last night. I cleaned up the apartment a little, did some work, and then read for way too long. I wasn't tired at all and just couldn't stop. Around 5:00 I was thinking about just not bothering to sleep at all. Then I wouldn't have to worry about being really tired and not wanting to go to class or oversleeping or something. Well, I did fall asleep, I think, around 6:00. I think I remember my alarm going off around 10:00, but I guess I went back to sleep. I woke up when the phone rang at 1:00 PM. I'm SO GLAD the phone rang!! I would have missed class because of oversleeping. Bad. I threw on some clothes and made it to school in time. I'm glad I didn't miss class. This man really knows a lot! I thought I've at least heard of major historic people and know a lot about some of them. Today he mentioned several I've never heard of. And I just love his voice- his voice and tone sounds like Denis Leary! Love it!

And I remember a tiny bit from my dream. I woke up at some point thinking that the dream software program I'm working on has effected my dreams. All I remember from it now was that it involved being in a show with current Broadway actors. When working on the dream software yesterday, I had entered an old dream I had about being involved in some kind of improv show with Adam Pascal. I wish I remembered more so I could see what the program had to say about a dream stemming from working on the program.

So after fifty different decisions, Brian and Rebecca are now both coming up tonight (around 7:00 or 8:00) and are both staying here. They are also both going up to Westchester tomorrow. So I will only see them for a bit tonight, maybe for a bit tomorrow night, and then Brian and I (not sure if Rebecca will be joining us) will watch the game Sunday afternoon. Between hanging out a little with them, seeing "The Crucible", and going to Marcell's party, it should be a fun weekend.

I won't be able to go to Chris' show at Arlene's Grocery Monday night since I have to do a focus group at the same time they're playing :(
Oh well, at least I'm working. In fact, work has been really good this year. Not complaining.

So Brian and Rebecca got here around 8:00. They passed by Rue 57 on the way here and asked me about it. I told them they supposedly had excellent hamburgers (as I've been told by several people), so they wanted to go there. Me, I wasn't so hungry, so I just had a bowl of fish soup. I never seem to eat much when I have a night of drinking. Bad. I had a martini (well it was more like two since the waiter kept refilling it) and a glass of port after dinner. That seemed to be enough to give me a slight buzz and make me wake up dehydrated. Maybe it was because the only thing I had to eat yesterday was soup and some pretzels. Oh, and I had a bite of Rebecca's burger and... yum! Wish I could eat more than a bite of red meat without getting sick. After dinner, we went to move their car since they couldn't park there after 7:00 AM (and no one was getting up early to move it). I found them a spot up on 67th- not bad.

Rebecca was tired, so we came back at midnight. This gave me plenty of time to finish reading "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire". But with 100 pages left, I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, so I woke up this morning with 100 more pages to read. I read 50 when I first woke up (at 9:00 AM- see, I knew having people here would help me have better sleeping patterns) and as soon as I finish going through some email, I will finish the book!

Today Brian and Rebecca got up early to catch the train to White Plains. I might be meeting up with them before the show (if they get back to the city early enough), but more probably we'll meet up after the show.

Okay, this weekend was a bit crazy.

Saturday, I had a quick dinner at Cafe Cielo (at least I had once nice part to the weekend- I really love that place) and then went to "The Crucible". In general, I did not like it. It wasn't anything special. Part of the problem was the audience. So many people got there late (maybe because it started at 7:30 and most people were used to 8:00?), so they all got seated after the first scene. And the seats at the Virginia Theatre are small and close together, so the two people on either side of me were sitting on top of me. And the guy next to me (who didn't clap) was playing with his ticket stub through the whole thing. How irritating. As for the performance, I couldn't understand many of them since they mumbled and they didn't do a great job with the accents (was it supposed to be Irish?). The most surprising thing was that I didn't care for Liam Neeson. He should have done a great job. Maybe he'll get better? It was the first preview. Laura Linney was wonderful. Several of the others were great as well. I thought the music didn't fit and was distracting when it was playing during the scenes (it wasn't as bad in between scenes). The lighting was dark and it seemed like there was a fog machine at times. And I couldn't see very well from row M. I couldn't see their faces at all and the woman in front of me blocked all of stage right. And the audiece was laughing during many parts. I didn't know it was a comedy. There was one man who did deliver a few of his lines comically, but in general, IT WAS NOT FUNNY! The script isn't funny nor did the actors play it with humour. I don't know what the audience's problem was. Clueless? And there were people talking during the performance. Occasionally people told those people to be quiet which was almost as irritating. So I was pissed off at the audience, struggling to see and hear, and didn't care for Liam Neeson. By the end of the performance, I just wanted to get the hell out of there.

Brian had left a message on my cell, so I called him back outside the theatre. He said he was at the Crown Hotel on 42nd St. I don't know all the hotels in Times Square and exactly what street they are on (why should I?), so I started walking towards 42 St. Brian had a weak signal so we kept getting disconnected. He called me back and told me to meet him at the hotel on 49th St. 49th?!?!?! Ugh, I was already at 46th. Walking through Times Square on a Saturday night is not my idea of fun. Plus I was still irritated from the show. Anyway, I met them and Rebecca was tired, so we walked back toward my apartment. When we were a block away, she said she would join us for a little bit and then go back to my apartment. I wish she had told me that earlier, I didn't really want to go anywhere around my apartment. Oh well. I tried to go to the Townhouse Restaurant, but they were closing when we got there. We wound up at the Pig N' Whistle. Whatever. It was fine.

Oh, the other irritation of that day was that I lost my Metro Card and I still had $20 left on it. So I went to get another one. I put $30 on it, used it once, and then realised later that evening that it was gone. What the hell? I've never lost a Metro Card in my life and then I lose 2 in one day?

And one other irritation was that on Friday when I went to my bank to deposit some checks, both ATMs weren't working. I wasn't going to wait in line for a teller. I tried again on Saturday, but they still weren't working. I decided they wouldn't be working Sunday because the bank was closed and they wouldn't be working on Monday since it was a holiday. And I forgot to go to another branch when I was out Saturday evening. I had no money. I could have at least gone to another bank to get some cash, but I didn't really want to since I would still have to get to my bank for the deposit. I didn't want to waste my time and money getting money out at another bank. Not a big deal, but still irritating. I decided I would have to get money and a Metro Card before I went up to Marcell's on Sunday, plus I wanted to return my library book. The order I would have prefered things was: find a branch of my bank with working ATMs, get money, get a Metro Card, return the book, watch the basketball game, and go to Marcell's. The order in which things happened was: ask Brian for his last subway token, watch the game, take the bus to 74th and Columbus, make a deposit and get money, walk to Marcell's, and forget about returning the library book. I didn't want to take the time since the game wasn't over until 3:15 and things would wind down at Marcell's around 5:00.

The game was absolutely awesome!!! Maryland led the ENTIRE game!!!! Unheard of!!! Go Terps!!!! And watching it with an ecstatic Terps fan was the best! I had wanted to watch it somewhere on the Upper West Side, so I'd be closer to Marcell's after the game and wasn't so late for the get together, but Brian wanted to watch it at my apartment so we could watch it with sound. I was the last one to get to Marcell's, but it didn't matter that much.

Marcell's party was okay. I got introduced as a Hunter College student (thanks Marcell), so everyone asked me if I was in my freshman year of college. Um... no. I wish I could have lied and told everyone I was 18, but Marcell knew the truth. It was so irritating to try to set everyone straight when they really weren't listening anyway and weren't interested. Then they proceeded to ignore me until part of each conversation they were having had a mention of age. Then they remembered I was there and said things like, "When you're older, you'll understand," or "You're too young to understand," or "See what happens when you get old," or "Be happy you're so young,". That got SO IRRITATING!!! Once in a while it's okay. A few times from a few people (but not everyone in my life) is okay. Constantly from every almost every single person I know (and most people I don't know as well) is NOT okay. It especially bothered me since these people were only speaking to me when an age reference was necessary. Otherwise, I just sat there listening to people speak dramatically about religion, Edward Albee, architects, people from Connecticut, and a few other topics.

Okay, I have a lot more to say, but I have to get ready for the focus group. And I have a bad feeling about it. My brain is still slow and I'm not really prepared. I just stood up a second ago, and I feel shaky. Not good. I don't feel confident about making it go smoothly. Hopefully it'll be better than I'm anticipating...

So... back to my weekend...

I got home after Marcell's party and Brian and Rebecca got back shortly after. Brian wasn't feeling well, so he went to take a nap. He didn't last long before he started throwing up. He said he would be fine and just needed to rest for a while. So Rebecca and I went to see a movie. We were going to see SOMEHOW using MY MOUSE on my bed and then moving it back- non-ease to ease!!!!! We were going to see "Lord of the Rings" in Chelsea, but by the time we got there, it was sold out. So we saw "Count of Monte Cristo" instead. It started out to be a good movie, but they ruined it. I can understand if they want to make it in English and leave it as a period piece. But don't throw modern English into the script then. Listening to informal English mixed in with formal English really bothered me. And having some of the characters act the way someone in 19th Century Europe would act and some of the characters act the way someone in 21st Century America would act was ridiculous. And that goofy Italian, while the actor portraying him did a good job, did not belong in this movie. All I could think of was this is contributing to the dumbing down of America. Not even the sword fights made it worth watching. They were short and not very focused.

Rebecca and I got back after moving their car (we moved it a lot over the weekend- because of parking restrictions and because they thought they were going to leave at one point so they moved the car closer to my apartment which of course had to be moved again because of the parking restrictions), and I made up the sofa bed for her so she didn't have to sleep with Brian in case he was contageous. As soon as I got her set up and got my computer set up in my bedroom, Brian threw up for the 6th time and Rebecca decided he needed to go to the hospital. Her sister just had a stomach virus and had to go to the hospital where they gave her 2 bags of saline from an IV, so I guess she thought that's what Brian should do. I didn't want them trying to figure out where the hospital was, so I went with them.

We got to Lennox Hill around 1:30, and he wasn't even checked out until 2:00. What if it was a really serious emergency? Would they have taken him right away? The place was extremely quiet. There were only 2 other people there the entire time we were there. Rebecca went to check on him at 3:00 and they told her they would have the results of the bloodwork in an hour. We watched the Olympics for a while, but I couldn't really pay attention. The words weren't penatrating. I just kept wondering why all the ice dancing was performed to Spanish music. At 4:00, they told her to go home and come back at 6:00. They gave her 2 phone numbers to call so she could check to make sure nothing serious went wrong. We got back here and I let her sleep and told her I'd wake her up at 6:00. I was having trouble staying awake since my cable modem wasn't working (I HATE RCN) so I couldn't get online, my eyes couldn't focus enough to read, and since Rebecca was sleeping in the living room- I couldn't watch TV. I wound up reading old, unfinished stories and stuff I had written until 6:00. I woke up Rebecca and asked her if I wanted to call the hospital to check on things. If he wasn't ready to leave, there was no reason for us to go up there and she could go back to sleep. I called the first number and let it ring 20 times- no answer. Then I called the second number and got an answering service. The guy told me they don't answer their phones until 8:00. WHY WOULD A HOSPITAL EMERGENCY ROOM NOT ANSWER THEIR PHONES?!?!?!?!?!??!? And why would this woman give Rebecca a phone number if she couldn't get through anyway? Lennox Hill is a strange place. I'm glad I know this. If I ever have to go to the emergency room and I'm conscious enough to make a choice, I will go to NYU Hopsital or something.

Anyway, since we couldn't get through to the hospital, we took a cab back up there. The doctor told Rebecca he either had food poisoning or a stomach virus and would probably continue to be sick for 24-48 hours. She asked the doctor if he should stay, and she told her that he'd probably be more comfortable in his own bed. But his own bed was over 300 miles away! Still, the doctor said she couldn't do anything else and sent him home after he went through 3 bags of saline and was unable to keep any of it down. He was ready to leave a little after 7:00. I brought them back here and they both went to sleep.

I was fairly awake, but didn't know what to do with myself. I still couldn't get online (big surprise), still couldn't focus enough to read, and still couldn't watch TV. I eventually decided to lie down for a minute around 9:00 and fell asleep. I was asleep until almost 1:30! Whoops! Since I was already awake for some of the morning, my brain thought this was a nap. I can't do naps. I was disoriented for most of the day.

Brian and Rebecca woke up around 2:00 and got ready to leave. I helped Rebecca get the car (that she had to move again this morning at 10:00 to a parking lot just in case the parking meters were in effect on holidays), helped them get their stuff together and out to the car, and said goodbye.

I really was disoriented most of the day. I looked outside at 5:45 PM, it was dim, I thought it was 5:45 AM and I had the whole day ahead of me. Wish I really did. I can't believe this whole day was wasted.

When my sleep is screwed up (I mean really screwed up- even more than it normally is), I remember things like they are facts, but don't remember the feelings of them actually happening. For instance, I know I went to a movie last night but I only remember that as a fact, not the actual going.

Oh, at some point on Sunday, I big conversations with Paula about Harvey. If he ever has more than a few minutes, I'd love to talk to him about it as well.

I know I'm tired when I can only do one thing at a time. I know this is how a lot of people are every day (many people can't do two things at once), but this is so rare for me. When it happens, I feel like it's a handicap.

I also know I'm tired when I write things like that. When I'm tired, the mudane seems profound and self examining.

Showers usually put me to sleep. Tonight, it seemed to be refreshing and I felt more normal for a short amount of time. Unfortunately, the abnormal feeling came back again. Although, maybe that's a good thing. It means I might be able to fall asleep before 3:00 AM.

So tomorrow is my long day. I wish I had a few extra hours tomorrow to clean up the apartment. It's not too bad, but places always are a little messy after one has guests.

And hopefully on Wednesday, the stuff will be ready for me to research at the PF. I'd rather not go on Thursday, but it looks like I might have to. If it's not ready by Thursday, if it won't take longer than an hour, I could run over there after class on Friday (but I really would rather not do that). So I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Wednesday. I guess if it's not too late, I could go the following Wednesday, but I'd still rather go this Wednesday since I already know I won't be busy with anything else.

And I HAVE to remember to get out "Oedipus Rex" from the library so I can read it on my way up to Boston. Boston. That's soon! I feel like I'm not ready for that. I'm just tired and everything seems like a big deal when you're tired. I just need a good night of sleep and normal sleeping hours.

Tonight I'm also worried about not having enough time for all my school assignments. I'm hoping that too seems worse because I'm tired.

I told Brian and Rebecca to call me when they got back. They didn't. I'm hoping nothing's wrong and they just forgot. I'm sure that's the case. I didn't want to call in case I woke him up. I don't want to call tomorrow for the same reason (but hopefully he'll be fine and able to go to work tomorrow). I think I'll just send him an email now and he can let me know later how the trip home was and how he's doing.

Okay, time to wrap up a few things and get to bed.

I was tired when I got into bed last night, but I still had trouble falling asleep. I got more and more awake the more I tried to get to sleep. Frustrating. I did eventually fall asleep and woke up feeling well rested. What a great feeling.

I think the next two months are going to be REALLY busy! Between work, school, theatre, and travel- I won't have time for much else. Oh well- maybe I'll have a couple catch-up days in April (although I'll probably need all of April to write my research paper for Brain and Behaviour- speaking of, I still need to ask him how we're supposed to write a research paper without citing the sources and putting the entire thing in our own words without paraphrasing).

I need to call the theatre in Cardiff so I can get a ticket- think I'll do that after I finish this entry.

I don't remember if I wrote this already or not, but I'm thinking of spending a couple days in College Park before I leave for London. I don't know if it's a great idea to take the time to do that, but it sounds like a good idea right now. I don't have to decide today. I'll think about it more as it gets closer.

And Neil wanted me to put another link to my wish list (guess he didn't feel like going back to find the other ones). I'm still not happy about having a new age in a few weeks, but new books, movies, and music might take my mind off of those thoughts temporarily.

Yesterday was not a good day. I woke up feeling fine, but by the time I had to get to school, I was exhausted. I went to the library on the way to return a book, and it was too big for the book drop. I tried to just drop it off inside, but I was told I had to stand in this line to return books. There were around 20 people waiting to return books!! I've never seen this before. If you can drop off books in the book drop outside, why can't there be a similar book drop inside? Why do we have to wait for the books to get checked in? Well, I didn't have time to wait, so I just left my book on a desk and hoped a library clerk would look inside to see that it wasn't checked in yet before returning it to the shelf. If not, I'll get late fines. That's okay, my time is worth the few bucks of late charges.

I was still tired through my theatre class, so I went to this tiny coffee shop near school to get some coffee and soup during my break (after I printed some stuff in the computer lab). After my little lunch, I still had an hour before Jazz, so I went to sit in the hallway near the classroom and started writing my play for my theatre project. I have the basic idea, the main theme, some little ideas, and I wrote the first few scenes (they're really short). I feel really good about it. At 5:00, a half an hour before class, I started feeling lousy. I was sweating, nauseated, was weak when trying to stand, and was having trouble breathing. I went to the bathroom to splash some water on my face, but I still didn't feel any better. I went to find the Jazz teacher to see if I could get the review sheet for the test and then I would go home. He gave it to me and then told me to get a doctor's note. I told him I didn't have a doctor, and he said that this would just be an unexcused absense. I was too sick to argue with him. I was pissed though! I think I'm going to see if I can talk to him before class tomorrow. An unexcused absense? He saw me. I looked terrible. If I was going to just cut class (which should be allowed in college anyway, but that's a completely different issue), why would I show up at all? He knew who I was- when I told him I was in his History of Jazz class, he said, "I know,"- so it wasn't like I was some student who sits in the back and barely pays attention. I'm still supposed to go to a doctor if I have a little virus? The doctor won't be able to do anything. I want to ask this guy if he goes to the doctor for every little cold or virus. This is really ridiculous! I don't want to use up my one absense for this. I want to take a day off later in the semester. Now I can't do that. I have to figure out how to politely tell him all this tomorrow before the test. I don't want to get him mad at me and then have him grade my test unfairly. I can't believe there are so many teachers like this- anal about absenses, classwork, and other class related things. It's especially strange to me when half of the people in the class are older than the person teaching. Anyway, I'll have to figure out what to say to this guy.

I started to feel a little better when I got home, but I still felt weak and tired and had trouble breathing off and on.

Some guy called from a survey company doing a survey on RCN!! Once I heard what for what company he was doing a survey, I didn't hang up. I spent 15 minutes answering all his questions. I loved it when he asked questions about the high speed cable modem. I wish he let me go into more detail about the problems I've had. Oh well, it was fun even if RCN won't take my comments very seriously.

I called Paula to ask her about my symptoms to see if she had a theory and Harvey answered the phone. So I told him about it. When I got to the part about feeling weak and like I was going to pass out, he told me that wasn't surprising. He said I used to go to parties in high school, drink a lot and be wild, and pass out. He said that happened several times. That NEVER happened! Ever!! While it's frustrating, I have gotten used to the fact that he often doesn't remember things. But I'm not used to him coming up with things that happened to me that don't even remotely resemble the truth. I have never even told him about going to a party and seeing SOMEONE ELSE pass out. I have only passed out once in my life, and it was at a doctor's office while waiting to see the doctor (a convenient place to pass out, I guess- obviously it was good that I made myself go). I asked him what made him say that and he said he remembered that happening several times. I told him it absoltely never happened and he said that he still remembers it. I don't understand. I was already upset with him (mainly about how he is as a person, not really how it relates to me), but this is the last straw. I can't deal with this right now. If he ever decides to not be so much of a work-a-holic and has more than 5 minutes to talk to me (once a month for 30 minutes would be great), maybe we can talk about some of this. But until then, I think I won't make an effort to talk to him. I'm sure he won't even notice. It's not like we talk all the time now and then suddenly we won't. And I don't have to worry about him calling me and trying to decide whether to talk or not- I think in the past 10 years, he's called me twice (and I'm NOT exaggerating)- and at least one of those times was to apologise about something.

Right, so yesterday was a bad day. In fact, it's been a bad 5-6 days. Maybe the planets and houses are misaligned for me (not that I believe in that crap- but it sounds like a good excuse right now). I hope they get lined up correctly soon- I'm tired of things not working well.

Since I didn't really get to talk to Paula, I searched for my symptoms online. The only illnesses I could find related to my symptoms (dizziness, nausea, shortness of breath, and sweating) were heart attacks and panic attacks. I really don't think I had either one. I've had panic attacks before, and they were always related to something going on. Before I had my symptoms, I was just sitting around waiting for class to start. I wasn't worried about anything. I think that maybe the shortness of breath was from trying to get rid of the nausea- perhaps I was clentching my stomach muscles and after a while, that made breathing difficult.

Last night, my cordless phone, which sits on the charger at all hours except for maybe 30 minutes a day, died when I was talking to Rebecca. Why? There was no reason for the battery to be low. The phone is only a year old so (and it's a good phone), so there's no reason for this to happen. I'll just chalk it up to the poorly aligned planets.

Now I'm nervous to go to Boston. If things continue to go wrong, what will happen to me on the trip? Will space on all the Fung Wah buses be taken? Will I get on the bus but it will have an accident on the way? If things continue to go the way they are going by Friday evening, I think I will take the train up there (I can do Fung Wah on the way back if things start to get better). At least train travel is safer than those old mini-buses that go 90 miles an hour. I think I'll be more comfortable doing that even though it's way more expensive.

I told Rebecca the theory about people who don't sleep a lot live longer. She told me her dad sent her the article about that. Notice who keeps telling others about this- people who don't sleep a lot. They are trying to prove to the people who worry about them not sleeping enough that it's actually a good thing.

Today I went out for a bit to start studying for my jazz test. I'm not too worried about this one. The ones after this one will get more difficult. We don't even have to know any pieces for this one- we just have to know terminology, what jazz is and is not, instruments (the names of their parts and their jobs), history and the evolution of jazz, and a few names.

Around 5:00 this evening, I started feeling like I did last night at this time. It wasn't as bad, but it's still strange that it would happen at the same time. I still feel tired and sluggish and am having a little trouble breathing. Earlier today I felt dizzy for a few minutes and was having more problems with depth perception than I normally have. Anyway, I hope whatever is wrong with me goes away by tomorrow. I don't want to have to take a test when I'm feeling like this.

But no matter how tired I was last night, I still didn't get to sleep until around 4:00 AM. Somehow I managed to get up this morning.

School stuff is really going to take up a lot of my time this semester. Tonight I'm going to study a bit more for my test. Tomorrow I'm going to read over my notes for Brain and Behaviour and hopefully find someone in the class who will let me borrow their notes from last night and the first week of class that I missed. Friday after class, I will go to the library to get out "Oedipus Rex" so I can read that on my way up to Boston (I also need to pick up a half a dozen bagels to bring up to Rebecca). Sunday I will start studying for the Brain and Behaviour test, study a lot for it on Monday before seeing "Oklahoma", and I'll finish cramming during my break from classes Tuesday afternoon. I'm going to be exhausted for that test- I'm always tired for that 7:00 class (especially on Tuesday when I've been there since 2:00). Then it will be time to start writing my theatre review and studying for the 3 midterms and writing the concert report for jazz and continuing to work on my theatre project and take more tests... Okay, one thing at a time- you'll really give yourself a panic attack if you keep thinking like this.

I'm going to leave early tomorrow so I can go study at The Barking Dog before the test. I've been wanting to try that place for a while- tomorrow seems like the perfect opportunity.

Tonight I'm thinking that going to College Park right before leaving for London might not be a swell idea. I should use those 2 days to rest at home- not spend 10+ hours traveling. Maybe I can go down for a weekend in late April or something. Or maybe by the end of March, I'll feel better than I do tonight and I'll decide the trip down is worth it...

Again I didn't get to sleep at a reasonable hour last night but woke up feeling fine. I hope the "virus" went away. It would be really nice to not feel sick during the test tonight.

The other thing I'm crossing my fingers for is that someone in my Brain and Behaviour class will be able to let me borrow their notes (or at least come with me to the library after class so I can Xerox them) and that they took good notes- and if their handwriting isn't indeciferable, that's an added bonus.

Two nights ago, I had a dream that I was in a dance performance at Sudbrook. I was slightly better than I normally am in my dreams but still was having problems with the performance. I don't remember my dream at all from last night :(

My mouse has gone haywire. It's clicking twice as fast as it should, and I can't seem to change the settings for it. It's really rather annoying. It's done this before but then eventually went back to normal. It's going on longer this time though. But it is only a problem 95% of the time- there are a few moments of normality. I hope the problem goes away itself. I guess I could use the touch pad, but that's annoying too. Oh well, just one more little thing not working as it should.

And right now my cable modem isn't working for a change. I really hate my building owners right now- not letting any companies in the building other than RCN.

Oh hey- in the last two minutes, my mouse went back to normal and my cable modem started working again. What changed? Does this mean the planets are re-aligning properly? ;)

And people are starting to combine two of my favourite things- theatre and football. Currently in New York, there are two shows about football players ("Runt of the Litter" and "Leaded") and one show starring hall of famer John Riggins ("Gillette"). Unfortunately, I don't have time to see any of them. Fortunately, I don't think I really want to see any of them. But I like the fact that they are available for others.

Okay, time to do a little more work and then head out to study.

I've been feeling better (yesterday and today), so I'll definitely take Fung Wah to Boston tomorrow.

The jazz test took the least amount of time than any other test I have ever taken. It was fine. I only had one problem with it- the multiple choice section. I hate multiple choice tests like this:
a. answer one
b. answer two
c. answer three
d. a and c
e. b and c
f. all of the above
g. none of the above
That's just obnoxious. This is how most of the jazz multiple choice questions were and it's how the Brain and Behaviour teacher said last night that his tests would be. Oh, I also made a stupid mistake on the test- for one of the influences of jazz I put "big band" instead of "brass band". I remembered a few minutes after I walked out and wanted so badly to run back in, tell him I made a stupid mistake, swear I hadn't looked at my notes, and ask if I could change it. But I didn't dare. I also didn't manage to talk to him about my absense. Oh well.

I'm still tweaking ideas for my play- I'm liking it more and more.

I got an email last night about being on a talk show. This is slightly different from the last one I got offered (which was a reality show not a talk show). This one is a New York-based national talk show looking for single women in the New York area who want to be set up with a NYC Hero. The show is booking single firefighters, policemen and EMS workers and they're looking for women between the ages of 18-34 in New York or New Jersey interested in going on a date. Even if I did want to do this (which I don't), they certainly didn't give enough time to make the decision. I guess the first wave of people they asked all said no, which they didn't expect so they had to round up some others quickly. The taping was today.

I remember part of my dream from last night. It was late at night, and I was taking the subway somewhere from the Lower East Side. There was a rule in effect that anyone under 18 had to wear orange construction cones after midnight. They had government employees stand around at all the stations checking IDs and making people under 18 wear the cones. I kept picking up the cones, trying to figure out what they were- finally I figured it out on my last trip uptown. Then later I was at Harvey and Paula's. Lots of stuff was going on. Paula and Harvey were rushing through breakfast so they could get to dinner (they were going out to meet some friends). There were other people living there- they all had some strange kind of job that I think I had something to do with. They each had a deadline and my deadlines were all of their's combined. Then I saw Neil- he was showing me the 5th Harry Potter book. I asked him how he got it, but before he could say anything, I think I was back at a subway station. Then there was something about looking through my fridge for iced tea, but the only thing I had had been sitting in there for over a year (that part of the dream made sense- I DO need to clean out the fridge). I remembered more of the dream when I woke up, but it was a hit-the-snooze-button-50-times kind of morning, so by the final time I woke up, I didn't remember much of the dream.

Each day this week, I've had a more and more difficult time waking up. I hope tomorrow breaks the pattern. I think it took me almost an hour this morning to finally get out of bed. I can't do that tomorrow. Have to get up early, get bagels, and make it down to Fung Wah by 9:30 so I can hopefully make the 10:00 AM bus.

I was really hoping Michelle Kwan would win the gold. Not that I know anything about skating, but Paula really likes her and I usually trust her opinions. Poor girl. And we got to have another skating controversy (although the Russians were really just being babies and seeing if they could get away with what Canada got away with). This proves even more that figure skating should not be an Olympic event. It's an art not a sport. Would the people in charge like to read my research paper I wrote a few years ago on this subject? It was sports vs. dance, but it's the same concept. But no, they don't want to listen to this. They would rather have computers pick the judges and make the judging more based on technical aspects rather than artistic aspects. This doesn't really makes sense to me. The main reason people watch figure skating isn't to see how many triple toe loops someone can do, it's to see the in between, artistic stuff.

I came across some horse racing thing online (something I know nothing about), and I saw that one of the horses had the name "Be the Bunny". So then, of course, I got "Don't Be the Bunny" from "Urinetown" in my head. It's a funny song but not a great one to have in your head for hours. There's not much of a tune, which can get really irritating after a while.

I'm not happy with the project we're currently doing in theatre. He put us into groups of 5 and we all have to write a play together. Plays are not meant to be written by more than one person. And there is one woman in my group from Long Island who is a real problem. I don't think I've ever met a woman from Long Island that I liked. Anyway, every good idea I came up with she shot down. She's not very bright but is insisting on being in charge for some reason. I tired letting her do what she wanted, but I don't want to be a part of a bad project. We spent most of class trying to write something that was going nowhere and finally with about 15 minutes left, we got a better idea and started on that. Long Island woman was still causing problems though. We have to be finished this 10 page play by the end of class Tuesday. And of course no one wants to work on it before then. And one person in our group won't be there Tuesday. This is such a mess. I hate working in groups in situations like this (when not everyone really wants to be there and 99% of the people want to do as little as possible). I wish I could write the whole thing myself on my way up to Boston or something. Maybe I will try to do that and I'll bring it in on Tuesday and they can decide if they want to use it or try to write something all together in an hour. I don't want to take more than an hour doing this myself, but it's easier for one person to write something in an hour than 5 people. Hopefully it'll come easily and I can use the rest of the time on the bus studying for Brain and Behaviour, reading some stuff about Oedipus, and getting sick (I don't do well reading in moving vehicles).

And why am I reading stuff about Oedipus rather than reading Sophocles' "Oedipus Rex"? Because the stupid library on 67th St. lied when they said that they had it checked in. I looked through the entire section (in case it was out of place), but only found other Greek tragedies and critiques. So at least I can read something. I already know the plot. When I need to have it in class, I'll just say I left it on my nightstand and share someone else's copy.

So I went through my mail and cleaned up the apartment (I did a little extra since Paula and Harvey are coming up tomorrow. They may not be staying overnight, but I made the apartment look nice just in case). Now I just need to pack for Boston and then try to get to bed early since I have to wake up at 6:30 (so I can get bagels for Rebecca and then get down to try to get a ticket for the 11:00 bus). I wish they had a 10:00 bus. And I hope it's not crowded. Although, I'll be happy just to get a seat. I can't wait for the 1:00 bus. So I figured if I get there by 9:45, that should be good enough. I wouldn't mind getting there even earlier (I can kill time walking around Chinatown), but I really don't want to force myself to get up any earlier. Maybe I can get ready in record time, walk super fast to Ess-a-Bagel, run to the bus stop, and the bus will be pulling up as soon as I get there. The bus shouldn't take long to get to Canal St. on a Saturday morning.

Sunday Rebecca's friend, Andy, is having brunch. That'll be fun! Then I can catch an afternoon bus home and get back early evening. Then Sunday night I can catch up on some work. Monday will be an all day study day. I'm really nervous about this test. I looked over the notes before my theatre class today and realised just how much we have to memorise. Monday night is "Oklahoma", Tuesday is stupid theatre class, cram some more for test, jazz class, and Brain and Behaviour test. Wednesday is "Sweet Smell of Success". Thursday is jazz and no Brain and Behaviour. Friday is "The Prodigal" at the York Theatre. Saturday is "The Goat or Who is Sylvia". Sunday is "De La Guarda". Yes, there are other things in between those events (like work), but nothing else is set yet.

I got an email from Jon today. He and Michelle want to come up for a weekend. (probably the first weekend in April). That works for me. It'll be fun to have a baby around for a weekend.

Okay, time to pack and maybe read or watch a movie or something. Then I'm going to force myself to get in bed by 11:00 PM with the hopes of falling asleep before 2:00.

Nice weekend!

First of all, I had trouble getting to sleep Friday night. I did get in bed by 11:00, but by 2:00, I gave up trying to fall asleep, got out of bed, and caught up on some email and stuff. I was thinking about just not going to sleep and leaving earlier. I think I eventually fell asleep around 4:30. So 6:30 came quickly, but I did manage to get up and head out earlier. I found out that Ess-a-Bagel didn't open until 8:00 on Saturdays, so I couldn't get Rebecca bagels. I got to the bus stop just as the bus I needed was pulling up (lucky me). I watched out the window to see if any nice-looking bagel place was open since I still had plenty of time before the 9:00 bus, but I didn't see anything. I got down to get my bus ticket at 7:55 and there was plenty of room on the 8:00 bus so I took that. I had 2 seats to myself and slept off and on the whole time. There was no traffic, and with a 10 minute break, we got there in 3 and a half hours!

I met Rebecca at Davis Square and went to brunch at some Johnny-something (can't remember the name). She had just had brunch with Kristin, so she just kept me company while I had so-so blueberry pancakes while we listened to some guy playing horrible music on the xylophone.

Then we walked around for a while since it was a beautiful day. We walked by a video store and decided to rent a movie. After a little while of looking (she's very picky about what she likes), we decided on "1776" (I never did manage to get that one rented from my video store). It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. A little long though. We were a little late for dinner at the Acton Jazz Cafe.

It turned out, that we wouldn't have minded if we were super late for dinner and had to go somewhere else. The food was pretty bad and the "jazz" band wasn't too good either.

But then we got to the theatre and had a great time! "Side Man" was wonderful. The acting was fabulous (something I haven't been able to say too often recently). The only problem I had was that I wasn't really drawn into the show- I just felt like I was watching a performance. I can't put my finger on why. It might have been the script or it might have been the pacing or it might have been something else. I don't know. But it was still a great show. Everyone was completely believable as their characters. And Bob De Vivo (whom I saw in "1776" last year and the reason I knew about this production) was excellent! He really did a great job of being a 10 year old in those scenes. So thank you, Bob, for letting me know about this. It was great to see something enjoyable for a change.

Sunday morning was brunch at Rebecca's friend, Andy's. He had just remodelled his kitchen and wanted to try it out. The kitchen looked fantastic! He designed it all himself and did a great job. There were 6 of us, and I really liked his other friends. Everyone I meet up in the Boston area is so intelligent and down to earth! We all made fun of curling for a while (I'm so glad I finally got to see a few minutes of that silly-looking "sport"). And the food (quiche, scones, and fruit salad) was delicious.

I took the 2:00 bus home. The traffic started to build up around New Haven and got worse and worse the closer we got to Chinatown. I guess there was too much traffic to take the Manhattan Bridge to Chinatown, and I guess there was too much traffic to take FDR Drive, so we headed down 2nd Ave from 125th St. to Chinatown. One guy who was sitting near the front managed to get off at 68th St. I wanted to do the same, but the driver was yelling at the guy whom he let do that so I didn't want to cause more trouble (he was already pissed off). Plus, I was sitting all the way in the back, so it would have been difficult to get passed all the luggage in the aisle before the light turned green and the bus started moving again. So I passed my street and got more upset with the traffic after that. It took us an hour to get from Harlem to Chinatown. I was a little hungry (didn't want McDonalds at the rest stop and the little store that sold chips and stuff was closed- WHY?) and had to pee. About 4 blocks from Canal (where they usually let us off), the bus driver opened the door and yelled, "Everybody get off!!!"- so we all got off and went our separate ways. The city bus was at the stop just as I got there (lucky again), and there was less traffic heading uptown, which was nice. I finally got home a little after 7:00, which is still amazing considering that even with all that traffic, the trip only took 4 and a half hours.

There were two people sitting behind me on the bus who talked the entire time. Some of their conversation was interesting, but mostly it was rather dull. They were theatre students but without attitudes. The guy looked a bit like Nicolas Cage. They were also on the 8:00 AM bus on the way up to Boston Saturday morning, interesting (but not really that unusual) coincidence.

I got home and studied for a bit, caught up on email, and called Jay.

I'm feeling better about the Brain and Behaviour test. I felt guilty a few times over the weekend that I wasn't at home studying. I barely knew any of the material and every time I opened my notebook, nothing was sinking in. Last night, things started to make sense. I still have a ways to go though!

There were lots of sirens on my street last night. That was very unusual for a Sunday- usually Sunday nights are quiet.

I had another late night last night (I think I fell asleep around 3:30), but that's okay since I had about 6 hours at Rebecca's on Saturday.

After I woke up briefly around 7:30 this morning, I went back to sleep and had a strange dream. First I was in the stairwell of Sylvia's apartment watching a video of "Aida" while sitting on a blanket on the floor. Heather Headley and two other women were standing and singing "The Gods Love Nubia" (I guess it was a concert version or something). Tears came to my eyes, and then I knew they could see me. I wasn't sure if it was live or they could just see me through the video. Then there was another part to the dream. I walked into a theatre, and someone asked me if I would run sound for them. I knew the music and somehow I guess I knew the cues, so it went fine. Then Tom Laveen was there and he put on an Emmet Swimming album. "You're So Pretty" came on and we sat on the floor singing the song together. As I was sitting there, I was looking at his collection of live tapes. I saw one that said "Baltiomore 9/8/98", and some of the song titles looked familiar. I realised it was a Once Hush show. I was trying to figure out if I knew him them to see if I could figure out how he got to that show. Then I realised he could have traded it with someone. Then I wondered how he even heard of them. Then the dream got more strange and I can't remember everything exactly. We were in a large room, and Tom asked me if I knew where something of his was (it might have been an action figure or something). He was running around looking for whatever it was. There was a woman buying medicine and stuff for a group of people. We were all staying somewhere sort of like a hostel. I don't know who any of these people were in real life, but I seemed to know them in the dream. Then I was at Sylvia's apartment, trying to sleep. It was noisy outside the window. I looked up to see what was going on and discovered the window was street level- everyone could see into the bedroom (I guess that part came from talking to Sherry briefly last night about being able to see into people's apartments across the street, and the fact Sylvia's apartment was in my dream was because I sent her a long email last night- although I send her email all the time and don't have a dream about her that night). I tried to get back to sleep, but then Matt, Sylvia, and their houseguest started making a lot of noise. I stayed in bed and asked them to be more quiet, but either they didn't understand what I said or they just thought it was a good idea, they came in the room where I was staying. I was in my underwear but they didn't seem to care. Then I went out into the living room to yell at them for not giving me any privacy. I said, "Isn't there any way to lock the door?" (it was the same broken door they have to that room in the apartment- the same door that was broken in their previous apartment in that complex). I went back to the room and tried to force the door closed. I managed to push the door through the archway and back the other way, but that didn't seem to do anything. Then I woke up and managed to get out of bed this time (around 8:30).

Close call Maryland. Better not let something like that happen again. Play well for the rest of the season, and you'll have a great spot on the tounament.

I've getting "NYC" from "Annie" stuck in my head for the past week or so. I guess it's when I type those letters, but sometimes it comes from nowhere. I don't even know why I know so many of the lyrics to that song. I guess from when we did the show at Camp Debut MANY years ago. It really is a timeless song (minus a few points- like having a mayor five-foot-two).

I bought a ticket for "Godspell" in Cardiff! I'm so excited! The customer service guy I talked to was so nice!! He got me a great seat and made sure I knew that there was a student price. And they're so polite in the UK. The message for waiting to talk to someone in customer service said something like, "We will try to answer your call as quickly as possible. If you feel like you are waiting too long in the queue, please call back again at a later time. Thank you very much." My call was answered in less than 1 minute. Love it!

Time to go study some more. Then I will go have a bite to eat at Cafe Edison while studying some more before going to see "Oklahoma". I hope the show gives me lots of energy. When I get home I need to do a little work (unless I can sneak that in later this afternoon), deal with my mail (which I've in a forgotten pile for probably around 2 weeks- I almost never do that), and maybe look over my notes a little more.

Random comment: I love the Diet Dr. Pepper commercial- the new CHiPs show with monkeys.

I got to sleep before 3:00! Then I woke up at 7:00 and slept on and off from about 7:00 to 9:00 this morning. Each time I woke up, I was thinking about different regions of the brain.

So... "Oklahoma"... In general, it wasn't bad, but I think they need to tighten it up a bit before it opens. Here are some random comments:
- like "Music Man", the male dancers were stronger than the female dancers
- the choreography was typical Stroman- some of it worked, some of it was too modern for this show
- Patrick Wilson got better as the show went on, but "Oh What a Beautful Mornin'" sounded like something you would hear on the local pop radio station
- Josefina Gabrielle was a great Laurey! She was an incredibly strong actress, her dancing (she performed her own Dream Laurey) was fine, but her singing was a little weak- this girl needs to do a drama and show off her acting skills
- the set was great, I liked that when they had the scene in the smokehouse, they showed a small version of Aunt Eller's house in the background to show the perspective
- I didn't think they needed a little model train set though to show that they were at the train station- thought that was a little silly
- they had low energy last night, but I'm assuming they were tired from rehearsals and it was a Monday night during previews
- Gabrielle and Wilson had great chemistry
- Jessica Boevers was terrific as Ado Annie- she was definitely my favourite- she made "Can't Say No" interesting to watch and she had a wonderful variety of facial expressions
- the new music during the dream ballet was fine, but the choreography didn't work- it looked like it was something out of "Thou Shalt Not", which is fine for a post WWII New Orleans but not the innocent not-yet-a-state Oklahoma
- the curtain call was very Stroman- long with a lot of dancing
- and also very Stroman was taking numbers that should have been a big dance number and barely doing anything with it (like "Shipoopi" in "Music Man")- "Many a New Day" was dull
- I liked the dark lighting to show the sinister stuff, but there wasn't enough difference in the lighting between that and the lighter stuff, maybe they were trying to make the entire show seem darker than it normally is done- if that was their intention, I don't think it worked - I'm glad I went, and I hope for their sake, they make some important changes

I just got a free ticket for "One Mo' Time"- new to Broadway- a show about the 1920's New Orleans jazz scene. I guess I'm having a jazz themed few months. So I'll be doing that matinee tomorrow and then in the evening seeing "The Sweet Smell of Success". What will I do in between? Maybe head up to the Performing Arts Library and have some dinner at Alice's Teacup (that new place on the Upper West Side) while working on my play.

Okay, time to get ready to head up to school. I have to print something out for work before Theatre. Ugh, theatre. We have to finish (start) our play today. I'm not too hopeful about that.

I've run into Tara (the girl in my English class two semesters ago) a few times. She has a class on the same floor at the same time as my theatre class. Supposedly, she's moving to Denver. What's with moving to Denver? Supposedly Josh and Chandra are moving to Denver too. I say supposedly in both cases, because I'm not positive any of these people have the ambition or the means to actually make the move.

My stupid jazz teacher likes to run his class over by a few minutes. I especially didn't appreciate this last night when I had a test to get to in the other building (which involves going down the stairs of the North building, across to the West building, and then up the escalator with A TON of other students up to my class- I'm really scared there will be an accident with all those people trying to get on the escalators and not many people seem to know the proper way to do that). He had our tests and said he would give them back at the end of class and this would be how he would take attendence- the tests that were left at the end were the tests of the people who were absent. So with 5 minutes to get to my class, he started giving back the tests. I was tempted to tell him I wasn't absent but needed to get to the other building and I would get my test on Thursday, but fortunately my test was the third one for him to give back. Oh, and I got a 93. Not bad, but I could have gotten 100 if I didn't make one stupid mistake and somehow knew the BEST answer for another one (some of them were written with the sole purpose of tricking us).

The Brain and Behaviour test didn't go so well. It would have been better if I had been to all the classes. If there were only questions from material on which I had taken notes, I would have done much better. But unfortunately, there were several questions about stuff I had never seen before. Worst case senerio, I got a 70 (but there's a chance I got a 79). I can live with that if I can get A's on the rest of the tests and an A or a B+ on the paper. I'll be happy with a B for the semester, but if I get a C, I guess it's not the end of the world (but I'd rather not have a C in my minor). Oh, and the teacher turned into a nazi before the test. Are teachers at Hunter College instructed to act like this during test time? Or is this the latest thing all teachers do? I haven't had any teachers like this until starting at this school though. He wrote the instructions for entering your name on the test on the board and then said in a nasty tone, "If you don't follow these directions, you will fail." Then he told us to use a No.2 pencil and said if we didn't have one, "to borrow one from someone else or go downstairs and buy one." He handed out the tests and screamed, "If I catch you cheating, you will be thrown out and will fail." Geez. I'm glad I happened to have a pencil with me- I don't remember him telling us to bring one.

Wonder of wonder, miracles or miracles, our group finished writing our play. I still can't stand Long Island girl and the parts she wrote will have to be reworked. We took turns writing bits of it and managed to get to some sort of end. Nothing much happens in the play, but slice-of-life plays are fine too (especially for this stupid assignment). I intelligently volunteered to type it up so I can edit it (especially Long Island girl's parts, but also waif girl's parts as well- I'm glad the 5th girl wasn't there today, or I'd probably have more to edit). The cool chick in our group wrote the first two pages at home and brought them in. That REALLY helped. It made sure we didn't waste any more time talking about what to write about. I like cool chick. I won't have to edit any of her parts- she's good!

I did a stupid thing yesterday though. I thought the thing I had to print out was ready to be printed. Unfortunately, this was not the case. So I got to school early for nothing. So I had to work on the thing for two hours last night (not fun after my long day, but I was very proud of myself for doing it then and not putting it off until today) and this afternoon I'll go to Kinkos to print it out and then mail it. Also between shows, I want to get tickets for a couple upcoming shows (so I have to remember not only the envelope for the thing that needs to be mailed, but the discount fliers for shows as well). With all the errands, guess I won't have time to go to the Performing Arts Library. That's okay. It's not going away. I'll probably still have an hour of free time in the Times Square area. Oh fun- wonder what I'll do to pass the time? I should probably find something to eat.

I just realised it's raining. If it's still raining when I get out of the matinee, I'm not going to run all over Times Square. I'll have to go to Kinkos and find a mailbox, but I'll skip going to the box offices until Saturday (when I'm in the area to see "The Goat"). Instead I'll head up to Alice's Teacup (better bring some reading material).

For some reason, I turned on the TV last night and it was on NBC. The Tonight Show was on. So I waited to see who the guest would be and it was none other than Jon Stewart! Well, of course I had to watch some more and wait to see him. It wasn't worth watching though- all he did was talk about the Olympics. I was listening to Leno's monologue though and realised how out of touch I am with the world. I used to read the news almost every day. These days I barely read once a week. Not good. I'll have to make more time for that (maybe another late night activity?).

Also, while I was watching The Tonight Show, I saw a commercial for the new Six Feet Under which reminded me I need to tape that. Of course, I see ads for it on the buses every few days and that hasn't helped me remember to tape it very well. I'm terrible at remembering to watch TV shows. That's not a bad thing, but I've been looking forward to new Six Feet Under! Can't wait!

And I loved the headline on the Tonight Show that made fun of a woman from Baltimore, writing a complaint in a newspaper about the Wheel of Fortune show being rigged. Stupid Baltimoron.

So while Jon Stewart was being interviewed, the phone rang. I figured it was Rebecca since that's the only person who calls me at that hour (and basically the only person who calls me, period). But it wasn't Rebecca. It was Andy. I don't think we've talked on the phone since I was living in Virginia in '96. It turns out that he wants to get away for a little while (or something like that) and wanted to come stay here. I told him most of March was no good since I'll either be extremely busy or out of the country, so he asked about April. He was very vague about the whole thing (details of which I'm sure I'll get by the bucketful at a later date), but will be figuring out the arrangements soon. Interesting...

Last night, my computer decided to restart by itself at some random point. Glad I save things regularly.

Since I still haven't gone through my mail yet (bad girl), I'll have to do that on Thursday, either before or after I edit and type the play. The good thing about Thursday is that there is no Brain and Behaviour class since he has to go to a conference, so I will get home earlier than usual, which will give me more time for work that night.

Hey, it's the end of February. Did I do my monthly resolutions? Well, I have been keeping up with school stuff. I wish I at least had a topic and the start of some research for Brain and Behaviour though. I don't know when I'm going to do all that. I'm not too worried about the concert report for jazz. The theatre project I feel good about. Many people haven't even picked a topic yet and I'm already in the planning and writing stage. And the readings for all classes I'm still ahead. I should read some more for theatre this weekend. Actually, I can bring my theatre book to Alice's Teacup today. And my 2 January resolutions (excercise and keeping the apartment tidy)? Doing fine on both (although recently, most days my idea of excercising is walking around the city running errands- there is just not enough time in the day to do everything I'd like).

We should have a National Slacker Day like London!

So yesterday was okay. "One Mo' Time" was not my favourite. I like shows with a plot- this was just a vaudville act with some lines thrown in with bad acting. I did enjoy some of the music though- especially the instrumentals which is unusual for me- I usually prefer singing. The woman sitting next to me was irritating as was the woman in front of me. The woman next to me was clapping through most of the songs (had no sense of rhythm which made it even worse). The woman in front of me had a huge head and couldn't sit still. Oh well, it was free.

Then I went to Kinkos and got a major attitude to the person who was leaving a computer. I asked him if it was free and he just gave me attitude. He left soon enough though. I quickly did my printing, found a mailbox to mail the finished project, and went to Alice's Teacup. They have an amazing selection of tea (4 or 5 pages of tea listings- I had lavendar Earl Grey) and tasty desserts (I had warm chocolate cake with raspberry sorbet- only because I didn't like any of their non-dessert items), but this is not a place I would rush to go back to. It was SO NOISY- I couldn't read my book. The service was basically non-existent after I ordered. I had to practically trip her to get her attention. Oh well, now I know.

Then I went to see "The Sweet Smell of Success". I got there early and hung out in the cold outside the theatre. There was a small film crew filming some guy walking up and down the street. He might have been famous, but of course I would have no idea. People walking around were looking at him, but that could have just been because of the film crew following him. They must have done 5 or 6 takes before disappearing. I wish I could tell what people are filming. I often see stuff being filmed and it would be nice to know what it is so I can look for it in the future.

So the show... There was a guy walking out of "The Sweet Smell of Success" who said it was the worst musical he's ever seen. What? It wasn't the most amazing thing I've ever seen, but it was quite good- entertaining, good music, good cast, interesting plot, great choreography and the dancers make it look good... but it did have some cheesy lyrics. Sidney's girlfriend is at his apartment waiting for him to get home. She's singing about waiting in Sidney's apartment waiting for him to get home- getting things ready... So what rhymes with bust? Dust! That was pretty bad, Mr. Carnelia. Yeah, some of those lyrics were downright embarrassing. For once I agreed with the casting choices though. It was wonderful to see a leading role played by someone who is a big name AND talented! I really didn't expect to like John Lithgow and he turned out to be excellent. He had such stage presence. And he did a great job all around. And the woman who played the female lead (I don't feel like looking up her name) had an exquisite voice. I wish I had the chance to applaud her, but all of her songs went right into the next scene so the audience couldn't applaud. It felt like most of the songs did this. I guess we were only supposed to applaud between acts and at the curtain call. I tried to clap really loudly for this woman, but it didn't do any good- me clapping loudly alone- the rest of the audience gave a fairly weak applause for her- for everyone actually. Maybe most people really didn't like this show. Huh- I wonder why I did. I think I did, anyway. Now I'm beginning to have doubts because I can't remember it well enough today. Did I like it? I seem to remember sitting in my seat enjoying myself. But I guess it really wasn't very memorable. However, I do think it be a great cast recording even if the musical turns out to be a bit of a flop (which I'm pretty sure it shouldn't). Does any of this make any sense?

One week from today is my birthday- not happy. But I'd be slightly happier with any of these items.

I meant to write this a long time ago. When "The Fantasticks" was closing, I told Harvey. He said, "So next year they'll have the revival?" Funny guy. I miss him. I really would like to talk to him but not just small talk yet. I want to get some things straight first and he just doesn't have the time for that. He probably won't until some time in April. Sad.

Oh, but speaking of Harvey, Fox News wants to interview him. I hope he does it! That would be fun to do!

So today was productive! I worked out (didn't really want to take the time, but I forced myself), went through the large pile of mail, did some work, and then went to class. One of the things in the mail was my credit card. I had two British Airways charges. I thought one might be the flight and one the hotel, but the second one said, "Orlando departure". Huh? It took a while, but several customer service people later, I finally figured out the strange charge. It was the hotel- they do all their "holiday packages" from Orlando. Okay...

Then I went to Jazz. I really like the information I learn in this class, but this guy is way too anal (what's with the nazi-type teacher?). Then I got to go home since the Brain and Behavour teacher wasn't there.

So I went home and worked on the play for theatre. I added some cute things and it's really not that bad. It's nothing I would want to go see, but it's really for the 13-20 demographic.

Another thing I meant to write before... Eytan is making major changes in his life. He's moving to DC in July and going to do some school program where you spend 3 months learning computer programming and 3 months interning. I think that'll be good for him. I can definitely seeing him doing that for 4-5 years (that's a LONG time for Eytan). I'm just upset that the only way I found out was because I called him when I was sick two weeks ago. I was nervous about feeling faint and sick and stuff and I called for reassurence that I was fine and didn't need to go to the hospital. So in the course of our conversation, I found out his big news. When was he going to tell me otherwise? He used to call all the time and tell me everything. I guess our friendship is fading away. And, when they're all coming up here in March, he asked to stay at the hotel. That sort of bothers me too. I probably will only see him during a 5 minute break if I do wind up being needed. And maybe not even then since he'll probably use his 5 minutes to run to the bathroom and then someone will need him for something. I don't have many friends so it hurts a lot when I lose another one.

And speaking of friends, Andy is not coming up here after all. He can't leave the radio station in April and March is just too busy for me. I hope he does find somewhere fun to go in March to get away from his problems for a while.

Okay, I'm wired and this Smirnoff Ice is not helping me get relaxed. I'm in manic stage right now!!! I guess because I'm finally feeling non-stressed about my life. I had a few minutes to kill while waiting for my jazz class, so I wrote down the dates in March and wrote down what needed to be done each day. I tried to plug in school stuff (research Brain and Behaviour topic, work on play, read jazz book, read plays, read theatre book, go to jazz club, write concert report, study for midterms...) and it looks possible! Wow! That feels so good! I can work, watch the ACC and NCAA tournaments, go to theatre, get my school stuff done, sleep, and eat all in the same month! I'm so happy right now, I'm not even dreading my birthday (although this doesn't mean I don't want any items in my wish list). And this mellow music is not making me mellow. Why not? This isn't New Order or Erasure or ABBA or even Paul Simon. What do I need to listen to? Enya? Ray Lynch? Pink Floyd?

Well, it's only midnight, I don't need to get to sleep yet. Maybe I'll do something fun but relaxing for a little while. Like play trivia games... I should also reply to Brie's email, but that can wait until tomorrow or Saturday. My little fingers have typed enough for one day.

Oh, but before I finish this entry, I should figure out what my March resolution will be... Um... How about March-is-so-busy-I'll-be-happy-if-I-can-just-finish-everything-without-having-a-nervous-breakdown? No, that's not good enough. Oh, the rules I make for myself... Okay then, how about a small resolution? Like developing a regular eating schedule? THAT'S NOT SMALL! Oh, I know! I'm going to do one nice thing for someone every day. Little things that I'll come across in my daily activities so I don't have to use up any more of my microscopic amount of free time. Little things like having a conversation with that annoying older lady in my theatre class instead of ignoring her like I normally do or helping someone in one of my classes or letting someone else have the last free seat on the bus even though my feet are killing me or helping someone carry their heavy bags up a flight of stairs or letting the tourist walk slowly in front of me rather than push my way past them... wait a minute, I'm not a saint. Scratch that last one.

Oh, and one more thing... "Menopause the Musical"? WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!

Oh, make that two more things- I told myself I could sleep in on Saturday- that felt so far away when I told myself that. Now it's soon!!! Can't wait! I can't remember the last time I didn't have to wake up at a certain time.

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