The Power to Resist

by Nur Abdur Rashid






Its a new day... (or is it?)

At our school, recently, at the lunch table, some of the teachers were gathered, talking among ourselves, when I mentioned that some of our students have been honest enough to admit that they were suffering from internet addiction. One teacher thereupon announced that even he, himself, is addicted to internet pornography.

Not to discount his own problem, I speculated that the effect on the young minds (at younger and younger ages) must pose a much greater problem, a problem which augurs very poorly for a new generation under such a constant and relentless assault.

Comparatively speaking, when most of us teachers were coming along -- even being 'pickled' in the licentiousness of the hippie-era 60's and 70's (at least, in America); even though we were seeping in the sex-plosion of of 'the sexual revolution'... and going through the hedonism of the "me" generation during the 80's -- we were relatively sheltered. We would have found it quite difficult to get our hands on the kind of hard-copy anywhere near as explicit and prevalent as what elementary school kids today wade through, regularly, on the internet.

Later that afternoon, I went to the internet, in search of some titles that I might order for the library, titles that might help address this problem, head-on (See bibliography, below). I had in mind the teacher who openly announced at the table that he, himself, suffered some degree of porno addiction. And I had in mind the several students who have expressed such a frustration to me, in private--not to mention those students who have been 'ribbed' about it, only; those who are the butt of snickers and jokes in class, on occasion (say, when an "internet-addiction"-related topic comes up).

In the process of my search, I had to question myself, too--considering those occasions when I did let curiosity get the best of me: did I not enjoy the thrill, even as I sought words of disgust and some indwelling urgings of approbation.

So, "what can wash us white as snow?"

An old gospel hymn assures: nothing but the blood of Jesus. And one of the articles I found that afternoon promised the same. But one of the most professedly Christian nations in the world (America) is one of the sources of so much of the smut flooding the internet. America sports statistics that suggest some of the highest per-capita family breakdown in the world. And how many of my good Christian-cousins counted on that weekly 'washing in the blood' to make up for their weekly 'indulgences.'

I have 'been there.' And since that Christian paradigm is fundamental to who I am, I must touch on it. When seeking a moral solution I can hardly avoid some of the language and themes in this tradition. Yet, although I still very much cherish my deeply-ingrained Christian heritage and am fondly indebted to that heritage, I must admit that I have sometimes been taken back by some of the logic, there. Some of the logic has done more to weaken our resolve than empower us to overcome temptations.

For example, I have on occasion heard such perplexing exclamations of how great is the love of God: for He made Jesus bear the cross because God knew that I am such a sinner. "God knows I can't help myself. So Jesus 'paid it all' for me" -- suggesting that my debt is paid 'in full' already, far into the future, in advance of all the sin to come; the sins that God already knows I am going to commit (predestined that it all is)...(?)

Well...

No. That logic leaves me "up the creek without a paddle."

The cleansing 'power of the blood' is only as effective as a clear understanding of just what makes that blood any different from my own. But to know that difference we would first have to know God's 'viewpoint' on that difference. We would have to see and feel from God's viewpoint just how disturbing, how unsettling, how displeasing, how nauseating is the very 'give-and-take' that makes us goggle...

Delivering some exam prep materials to another class, in between periods, I asked one of the purest-looking, most humble students, there: What's your greatest difficulties, these days?

"Internet Addiction," he says. "Any solutions?"

"Solutions? Yeah," I said, off the top of my head, "look at your life, your very living, itself, through Heaven's eyes... (been listening to The Prince of Egypt too much, while driving in my car).

In a rush to get back to my own class before the bell, I threw a sincere glance and a heartfelt smile at him, on my way out; hoping to shore-up a remark that could so easily come across as a silly platitude.

"Through Heaven's eyes..."

Even so, once we are conditioned and sensitized to see one another as sex objects, and to see in a sex object the chance to pleasure myself, how difficult is the transition back to seeing from God's own objective, parental view point?

Thinking on this dilemma, I went to sleep that evening, pondering Biblical David's own plea, after the fact of having taken Bath-sheba down, "Create in me a clean heart, oh Lord."

Pondering: what can I give this student, or that colleague of mine
(even to that nagging part in me that want's to see that which "I" don't want to see)... ?

I do not remember much of all the dreams sloshing around in my head when I woke up the next morning. But a portion of one dream stayed vividly in my mind's eye all the following day:

There was a child, about a year or a year-and-a-half old. A beautiful child... Was it me? Was it my child? Was it someone else's child? I don't know. Or it could have been a composit of all of the above. But that beautiful child was suffering--from the most horrible blotches of desiccated skin... on its neck, on the forehead, down the side of one cheek. And cankerous sores were breaking out all over its head; so that I could hardly tell the difference from curly tufts of black hair and numerous leaking cysts of black tumerous tissue.

Though the babe was silent and acquiescent in its wearied condition, my heart literally bled for this child, as I wondered why... Why? How long... what's the cure? Waking thus, with my heart twisted in this pleading, anxious state, I thought back to the night before... and to my longing for something to give, something to help liberate that one good student of mine, that one colleague.

The anxiety--that the unclean heart within me was, in part, connected to the grotesgue condition of that babe--gave way to a pitying; a deepening pity, as I recognized more and more, to the core of my being, that this diseased condition is just what God sees when he observes the very germs and putrescent sores of our own infected desires... the infected desires of our hearts.

The power of Empathy

Our children are being assaulted, bombarded, de-sensitized, and re-conditioned (or should we say 'pre-conditioned') to burn with an addictive lust for dehumanized objects, all for the sake of satisfying some seeded premature and excessive desire. They are being violated, then; infected with a leprosy of the spiritual body; a parasitic film is forming a crust over the surface of their hearts.

Actually, it sounds like, melodramatic overkill, here. But I'm grabbing for straws; the dream, in fact, was the strongest impetus for me to even put this whole issue into words, here. For only through explicit knowledge and heartfelt awareness of how such pre-mature and excessive desire deforms our spirit and disfigures our presence--as seen through the eyes of Heaven--can we begin to desire a healing, a cleansing. Without strong desire, a desire stronger than our urge to indulge, how can we overcome?

Only when that desire for truth, beauty, and goodness overpowers us--only when we know the pain of the Parent looking upon the diseased deformity, and feverish infection, of a beloved child so taken--can we ever truly long to relieve that pain, and long to liberate that parent, and that child. We ARE that child, and we must allow ourselves to become that parent, identifying with the Heart of Heaven; even as God is that parent.

What of the blood, then? The cleansing, healing blood, so cherished by the Christian, is none other than: the blood we should have had in the first estate--a blood uninfected.

Instead, by some great disease, by some unnatural predilection, we are heirs of an infected lineage--and our condition is aggravated by an element in our collective culture which is fomenting, increasingly, a festering hotbed for incubating the germs and viruses that ravage our system (ravaging our thinking, our sense of morality, and sense of concern).

Those of us who decry a "metaphyical" component to our organic reality, may see in this dream and this paradigm: only the brow-beating moralism of the Religious Right--out to manipulate our guilt. Perhaps this guilt-ridden, empathy-driven tripe is little more than a deceptive, psychological tactic of "mind control" of some sort. If God does NOT exist, then: maybe. If there is no way to determine God's own sensitivity on these matters, then: maybe. And, too, then; just maybe the 'morality' and the ethics of the "Brave New World" (introduced at the top) are to be lauded, after all.

But, if we stop to consider: that this porn-star "Deep Throat" is someone's daughter; and that every mother's-son is meant for higher ground; then... we are not far-off from understanding the Heart of the Original love that purposed us--and purposed our emotional and sexual health--for truest joy and for the most sublime happiness. That Greatest love can be nothing less than Parental. And that Parental heart bleeds within each of us, for each of us; and bleeds for the other, whom we are tempted to use merely for our lust, only.

Irrepressible emotional impulses -- pure, rarified

My good colleague, compared to our students, has a different burden to bear--no less infectious; but, being married, he has a legitimate partner to help him work off the steam from the dehumanizing lure of his own addiction. Likewise, nonetheless, his "way-out" also depends on a 'metaphysical' paradigm, and on the true love relationship potentially engendered in that paradigm of Parental Empathy.

As resultant beings of an irrepressible Emotional Impulse--a prescient Big Bang--we too reflect the Original intellect, emotion, and will (of goodness) that is evident in the Cause; and we are heirs to all that goodness which harmonized and purposed our very sentient existence, itself.

The need to love and be loved... is as much a part of the First Cause--and as much a part of the Universal Father's engagement with our Mother Earth, the material plane--as it is a part of our own wiring. And only in pursuing and perfecting that "giving-and-receiving" (on a physical AND metaphysical level) can we find the joy that will liberate us from lesser, debilitating desires. And only in this divine pursuit shall we duly note the crippling pain of the violated Parent--the very pain that would prevent us from demeaning ourselves and defiling another mother's-child.

Perhaps this heart of concern is easier to comprehend for those in the East. For through The Analects of Confucius we learn: For a while, still: what we will not do, we do. But we try again, today, to 'nourish the roots' and 'see through Heaven's eyes.' Today, more than yesterday, we let God be there... with us. Can God be there? Through continued effort to maintain a reciprocal, giving-and-receiving relationship with/through Heaven's eyes: a nourishing Power is generated--a sublime, sustaining power; the Power to resist, to grow, and to thrive.







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A Few Statistics courtesy of: The Center for Decency

Internet Pornography and Kids

According to NetValue, children spent 64.9 percent more time on pornography sites than they did on game sites in September 2000. Over one quarter (27.5%) of children age 17 and under visited an adult web site, which represents 3 million unique underage visitors. Of these minors, 21.2 percent were 14 or younger and 40.2 percent were female.

"Nearly a third (31%) of kids age 10-17 from households with computers (24% of all kids 10-17) say they have seen a pornographic web site.

The Pornography Industry

"The pornography industry took in more than $8 billion dollars in 1999. More than all revenues generated by Rock-n-Roll and Country music, more than America spent on Broadway productions, theater, ballet, jazz and classical music combined."

Teens and Sex

"According to the most recent data, 61% of all high school seniors have had sexual intercourse, about half are currently sexually active, and 21% have had 4 or more partners Although other developed countries have similar rates of early sexual intercourse, the United States has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the world. In addition to pregnancy, early sexual intercourse carries the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD), including human immunodeficiency virus (HIV). Adolescents have the highest STD rates. Approximately one fourth of sexually active adolescents become infected with an STD each year, accounting for 3 million cases, and people under the age of 25 account for two thirds of all STDs in the United States."

The birth rate for unmarried teenage girls in 1940 was 14 percent, in 2000 that number rose to 79 percent.

In 1985 through 1990, the cost for teenage childbearing totaled $120 billion.

In the next 24 hours 2739 American teenage girls will find themselves facing a pregnancy.


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Bibliography

Confucius, The Analects (http://www.confucius.org/english/ed0102.htm)

Huxley, Aldous, Brave New World, (London,New York: HarperCollins Publishers Inc., 1932, 1946)

King James Version, The Holy Bible; online, search and reference

Moon, Sun-Myung; Eu, Hyo-Won, Exposition of the Divine Principle (Seoul, Korea: SungHwa Publishing, HSA-UWC; ISBN: 0910621802, May 1996)

Schwartz, Stephen; Zimmer Hans, The Prince of Egypt: Music From The Original Motion Picture Soundtrack (Uni/Dream Works Records; ASIN: B00000DFTM)

Internet sites:

The Failure of Sex Education -- by Barbara Dafoe Whitehead
http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/family/failure.htm

Pornography General
http://www.family.org/topics/a0018139.cfm

Virtual Unfaithfulness: Pornography use in a marriage
http://www.pureintimacy.org/online2/essays/a0000033.html

The Pull of Porn (focus on the family, link)
http://www.family.org/lote/lotelive/articles/a0011900.html

Teen Straight Talk
http://members.aol.com/sexualabstinence/

Stats on Internet Porno
http://www.centerfordecency.org/pornprob_stats.htm

The Analects of Confucius
http://www.confucius.org/english/ed0102.htm

2nd Samuel 11, (David and Bath-sheba)
http://www.hti.umich.edu/cgi/k/kjv/kjv-idx?type=DIV2&byte=1315338

Psalm 51, The Holy Bible (King James Version)
http://www.hti.umich.edu/cgi/k/kjv/kjv-idx?type=DIV2&byte=2275266

Exposition of the Divine Principle; Power through the action of Giving-and-Receiving
http://www.unification.net/dp96/dp96-1-1.html#Sec2_1

True Romantic Love
http://www.geocities.com/46-sheng/TrueLove/PerfectLove.html


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Recommended Reading:

Real Solutions for Overcoming Internet Addictions -- by Stephen O. Watters
Publisher: Vine Books; ISBN: 1569552681 (July 2001)

False Intimacy : Understanding the Struggle of Sexual Addiction
by Harry W. Schaumburg, Harry W. Shaumburg
Publisher: Navpress; ISBN: 1576830284; Revised edition (September 1997)

An Affair of the Mind : One Woman's Courageous Battle to Salvage Her Family from the Devastation of Pornography
-- by Laurie Sharlene Hall
Publisher: Focus on the Family Pub; ISBN: 1561794643 (April 1, 1998)







... to be continued...

Links to additional, related, personal sites on the Web

A house on a hill
Social Anthro at KMLA
Virtuous Patriot Integrity Award

© 2002 [email protected]

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