| UNTITLED DEPRESSION 2 SILK SHEETS OF GREEN AND YELLOW MELLOW SOFTNESS OF THE COOL BREEZE GENTLY TICKLING THE BACK OF MY NECK THE OPULENCE OF HEAVEN SO SWEET I FLOAT HIGH ABOVE, YET STILL AWARE OF THIS SUDDEN DOSE OF HEAVEN WAS BEFORE A DREAM, OR IS THAT NOW? WHICHEVER WAY, MY BODY IS REBORN INTO PLEASURE VELVET PILLOWS OF MOTHERLY TENDERNESS RIVERS AND STREAMS OF FLOWING GORGEOSITY THERE IS A HEAVEN TORN FROM THE WOMB MY BODY IS STILL DEAD TO MY REALITY LIVING ALL THAT GLOWS, BUT STILL I AM PLUNGED IN THAT DARK PIT ONCE MORE IS THIS A CRUEL REBIRTH? MY DEBT IS PAID MY LORD! YOU VILE, TWISTED FA�ADE OF FACIST SADISM! I WANT TO DIE! I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! I WANT TO PLUNGE THIS KNIFE INTO MY HEART RIPPING ALL KNOWN TO ME AND STAMP IT INTO MY GRAVE SO I MIGHT EXPERIENCE A FAIR FATE I WISH TO GOUGE MY EYES OUT SO AS NOT TO SEE THE HORROR THIS IS MY DISJOINTED LIFE OF DISGUST FOREVER VOMMITTING FEAR AND LOATHING MY FLESH DISOLVES IN TERROR AS THE WOMB-LIKE COMFORT IS BURNT TRODDEN AND SOILED BY HELL�S ANTS CHEWED AND SPAT DO I FEEL CRUSHED, BLEEDING AND HEMORAGING I FOLD UNWANTED YET GREETED YOU CONTROL ME PERHAPS BUT MY WILL, SPATTERED WITH TURMOIL IS STILL JUST AS STRONG AS THE DAY I WAS MURDERED A THOUSAND TIMES IN THIS PLACE OF FOREVER LIMBO THE PITTER PATTER OF BLOOD RAIN DRAINS LIKE A TORRENT FROM MY WRISTS SUICIDE IN DEATH DOES THAT MEAN LIFE? IF NOT, I PASS MY TIME EFFECTIVELY FOREVER SEEKING THE END THE CLIMAX IS NEARING, BUT IS IT? MY BODY NUMBS ITSELF I REGRESS TO THE SUBTLE FLESH OF THE WOMB MY BLATANT TORTURE IS SUCKED FROM ME I SIGH IN RELIEF OF THIS COMING BUT I AM STILL UNSURE FOREVER DOUBTFUL TO THIS AND THAT WORLD CAN�T I JUST TURN BLIND TO ALL? AND NEVER SEEK SPEECH OR THOUGHT? A BOULDER-LIKE FORCE SWEARS BY ME BUT I DISREGARD ITS ACTIONS WHAT AM I DOING? HAVE I REALLY LOST ALL THAT I ONCE CONTROLLED? SHOULD I HAVE WISHED THIS UPON MYSELF? THIS IS HOW IT BEGAN BUT SHALL THIS END IT? ONCE AND FOR ALL NEVER AGAIN WILL I SPEAK THESE WORDS OF SORROW BUT IF THIS IS TRUE HOW AM I TO HAVE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH? DID THIS PERSONAL HELL NEVER EXIST? DID I DREAM IT? WISH IT? WANT IT? MY MIND IS A BLUR I LOSE ALL SENSE OF CARE I CURL MY BODY INTO FOETAL TO FORGET THE SICK PLEASURES AND FOCUS ON THE NEVERMIND HALLUCINATION FOLLOWS WANTED THIS IS THE END A FLOOD OF COLOUR � WONDROUS � ENJOYED AND THEN TAKEN BY FINAL, ABSOLUTE DARKNESS. |