| Morning had now broken and the bright green light of filtered fart atmosphere crammed its way through the dirty window. Sleeping and drooling over the box, the Captain and Earwax were awoken by the sound of bad eighties pop music rushing past the window. A group of over zealous, over mated space beavers had moved into the house on top of the hill, beside the cemetery, on top of the Indian burial ground, which used to be a mental asylum and a fish shop. Oh yeah, and it belonged to the town butcher. Quickly, Captain incapable and Earwax Boy threw on their clothes and rushed out into the street to see the batch of buggered out beavers exiting their space car. Dragging all the crap of the universe behind them, they quickly rushed over to the old lake where several spiteful space beavers met a demise, which could only have been thought up on Sunset Beach. Wearing nothing but their matted fur, they jumped in and quickly the group seemed to become distinguished as the whole town were looking at them. There was jock, slut, geek, shy guy and gal and jerk beaver, all splashing each other and building dams in spite of the ugly townsfolk. �Fresh meat, or should I say Siluvian Soya Based Meat for the grinder,� said Incapable. �What ya talkin� aboot ya Jessy!� shouted the local Scottish stereotype. And with this, he walked off in his kilt as he munched away at his Haggis. �Yeah Incapable, what are you talking about?� asked Earwax. �Oh yeah, well if you�ve been asleep for the past few years, you will not know that a mad, spiteful scientist manufactured a troop of spiteful space beavers which soon over-ran his home planet. Now, these beavers were made from that awful product of the 20th Century, Soya, and so, it is only anyone who is not from Earth who finds them actually tasty, but of course....� �Oh for god�s sake just shut up!� shouted Earwax. �I�ve got the jist!� �Fine then!� said Incapable. �Fine,� replied Earwax. �Fine.� �Just fine.� �Fine.� After this pathetic display of an argument, a beaver scream was heard, it was the cross between a deer and a rock, but of course, who�s ever heard a rock scream!? Our two familiar by now people ran up the hill to HILL HOUSE. Sounds spooky don�t it, well actually it�s just overhyped, like most remakes and prequels. Anyway, a long period of crap took place and a bunch of non-believers ran around like headless chickens. Which in fact they were, because as you know, most headless chickens don�t believe in much nowadays. This crap lasted the whole nine yards and two inches. As Crazy Alf ran starkers through his bathroom, our two heroes set about finding the beaver napper. But after one failure, they gave up. �Ah screw this! What�s on telly,� said the Captain. And with this lazy act the remaining spiteful beaver set about hatching a plan to get some attention. A whole number of ideas were thrown into the air, often hitting hard on their re-entry. Finally, after some minutes, they had rounded it down to flashing, tearing down the main television transmitter and more flashing. Eventually they thought the telly thing might work better, after all, the sales in space beaver porn was down this year, and they thought it would be just an un-necessary embarrassment if nobody was going to take any pictures. So, these meddling kids, er space beavers padded their way slowly to the T.V. station at the other end of town, so that was just down the street. Crap Towns often aren�t very big, they�re not tourist material. They creeped up to the main door. A big sign saying �BUGGER OFF SPACE BEAVERS� was mounted on the wooden door. In spite, one of the gang whipped it off, no not it�s kit, the sign and farted on it. Sliding into the door, past the security guard, Willy, hee hee, shut it! Age: too old who lay sleeping in front of Neighbours and down the corridor. Eventually coming to the big studio, they just bust in and ripped out the main supply cable, thus bringing all 24 hour crap to a standstill. The town went berserk, families were impulsed to have conversations and play Monopoly, certain death was imminent as nobody really knew when Monopoly was over. People were now sitting down at the dinner table together, munching through fresh space beaver. But then it got really bad, the townsfolk began to use rational thought for discussion! �God! This is terrible! No longer do we sit mindlessly glued to the jabbering box, incapable of thought, decision or movement, we may never....� �Captain! You�re using your brain!� shouted Earwax. �AHH! God! We�ve got to do something about this situation. Come Earwax! To the supermobile!� said the Captain. �Er. You mean the Skoda?� �Yes.� Our two heroes dashed triumphantly until they got in the pile of foreign junk, known as their Skoda. The Captain started the car, and they rocketed all three feet in the wrong direction, then the engine gave out and our two heroes got out and walked. |