“Are You Crazy?”

 

The journey of a soon-to-be SMBC (Single Mother By Choice)

 

 

Hey y’all. J Out of sheer benevolence I’m going to share a little information with you. I hope it’s helpful and answers some of the questions you have. I’ve made the decision to have a baby on my own, and some people really can’t understand why I’d do such a thing. So I hope this clears some of it up for you.

Update, July 16, 2007

I miscarried the baby yesterday. I don't know what God's plan is, but I won't stop praising him. He sees what I dont. At least I know I can indeed get pregnant, and this will not be my final attempt. My momma didn't raise no punk. I'll just try again.

Update, July 7, 2007

It WORKED!! I'm pregnant and my baby will be due in March of 2008! This is major because according to the statistics, the procedure which I chose (IUI) has a 20-30% success rate with medication. The success rate without medication? Using ONLY your natural cycle?? Stats were even more discouraging: only 7%. They told me I couldn't do it. Said it would probably take like 6 tries at $1500+. I'm sitting here pregnant on the 2nd try, with no medication used. Don't you TELL me what God can't do. I'm in HIS 7%. And could there have been a better day to get my results? 7-7-07. 5 days after my 28th birthday. It is SO all good right now! :) Thanks for the prayers and well-wishes. I appreciate all of them.

Update, June 29, 2007

Okay, so I went back for the second attempt on Saturday, June 23rd. I wont know anything until July 9th, so I could be pregnant right now (hopefully) or I might not be. Will update as soon as I know something for sure.

Update, May 27, 2007

Well, so far my cycle has been coming on the weekend. That's bad business because the place is closed weekends. But they're gonna work with me in June so we'll see.

 

Q. Have you lost your mind? You’re still young (good job, freedom, blah, blah?)

 

Nope, I’m not crazy. I’m happy with my life, but there’s something missing. I have achieved everything I wanted. My “to do” list isn’t as major as some folks’ and family ranks the highest on my list.

 

Q. When did you decide to do this?

 

I tossed the idea around for the better part of 5 years. I decided that if I was not wifed up by the year I was to turn 28, I would take matters into my own hands. A final letdown in September of 2006 was the clincher and an idea became a concrete plan and goal. I will be 28 on July 2nd, and hopefully 4 months pregnant.

 

Q. Does your family approve?

 

Absolutely. Although if they didn’t I’m not sure it would matter much.

 

Q. Why “28”?

 

Because I don’t want to be 35 trying to have my first baby, or 40 still waiting on some man to show up and act right. Your body changes over the years and I’m not interested in unnecessary complications. Like I said, I’ve done what I wanted to do for the most part. I’ve done everything on my list except be called “mommy”.

 

Q. But don’t you want a husband?

 

*sigh* Whatever, man. Of course I would have liked one. I was raised in a two-parent household. But circumstances and men being what they are I opted to proceed. I haven’t given up on God though. He could still change things if He wants and I would comply with His will.

 

Q. Aren’t you scared of doing it alone?

 

No. Besides I’m not “alone”. I’ve got an army behind me.

 

Q. What about being a size 2? Won’t you miss being petite?

 

To hell with that. I’ve wanted to gain weight since I was about 15. Here’s my shot.

 

Q. So how did you do it?

 

Well, I went here on March 5th and they handled it for me. I’ve got another week before I get the results. The staff is cool there too. I highly recommend them.

 

Q. Do you want a boy or a girl?

 

I want a BOY. Straight up. No question. That’s all I’m praying for… a healthy, bouncy, fat and cuddly boy.

 

Q. But you’re a woman. What about his positive male role model?

 

I have a brother, a father, an uncle, and some play-brothers who love me more than life. All of the aforementioned are productive, positive, Black men. My kid’s covered. My brother takes the role of “godfather” to a whole new plateau; he could hold it down solo if he had to.

 

Q. How prepared are you?

 

Very. I’ve just moved into a new house with plenty of room and a big backyard. I’ve begun making purchases and I’m setting up a bank account for the kid already. Once I have him and he’s got a SSN I’ll be able to register the account in his name. Health-wise I’ve changed my eating habits, I don’t drink and I take vitamins. I’m also declaring a moratorium on cussing… that’s the hardest thing for me to do. I have sick road rage.

 

Q. Do you have any symptoms yet?

 

Yeah. All this sleepiness is working my last nerve, lol. I’m super hungry and sick at the same time. I’m also irritable in certain situations, kinda like PMS x 20.

 

Q. What about future relationships?

 

What about them? I’m SO not concerned. The man God has appointed for me will understand my decision as opposed to being put off or threatened by it. Any man who refuses to understand or accept what I had to do, especially given the fact almost every dude I run across has one or more “baby mommas”, is obviously not for me. So he can kick rocks. I’m not trippin’.

 

Q. Are YOU someone’s baby momma?

 

No. There’s nobody involved in this plan but me. So while I won’t be getting child support (lol), I won’t encounter the headaches either.

 

 

Well, I think this covered everything… if I missed something you can feel free to send me an email or a MySpace message and I’ll answer you. Unless you’re being a dick about it… then I’m not responsible for what comes out of my mouth/from my fingers. Tread lightly, sweeties. Laters J

 

 

Links:

 

Pacific Reproductive Center

Single Mothers By Choice

California Cryobank

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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