The break-up was inevitable. He did it first, saying that he couldn't bear to hurt me or see me in pain. I thought that hurt. But then he called me at 5:20 this morning saying he'd changed his mind. That stabbed me in the heart, because I'd just come to the terms about the fact that I was gonna be without him. All the up and down is making me sicker than the food poisoning I had from the Boardwalk Casino Buffet in Las Vegas. So I grabbed the nuts I ain't got and stood up for myself. I sent him a text message and told him that given the circumstances and the converations we've been having for 3 days in a row, I believe he had it right the first time, that we should just be friends. I dont have a way to call him back because I left the damn calling card at the house. So now I have to wait for him to call me back. He hasn't done it yet, and he's been off work since 7:00 this morning. Its about 7:20 or so. I know why he wont call me back. He doesn't want to face this or deal with it. But dammit, this isn't fair to me. I've been going with the punches. And in a matter of days I got "knocked the f**k out". I'm tired. As much as I love him, I am tired already. And thats not a good sign. Nor is the fact that he told my baby (psychotically protective) brother that we slept together. I was wondering why every time I'd turn around he'd be talking about he wanted to fight my brother. Hell, walking around divulging information such as that will definitely get your wishes accomodated.
I am just burnt the hell out. I'm going on a hiatus from men. More like a sabbatacal. Because this sucks all kinds of ass... original recipe, extra crispy, and cajun style ass. I feel sick. Shit. I might as well go get some real work done. At least I got my hair done yesterday, so thats tight along with my new Nike's. That's sad, but its all I have to keep me afloat right now.
It Is Finished...
It's 7:36. He called me back, and I put it down. We're "friends" now. Whatever the fuck that means. I am so burnt out. I feel sick still. Who gives a damn even? Not me. Let me work.