Fu n n y  &  M i s l e a d i n g

I'd climd the highest mountain,I'd swim the ocean blue I'd do anything at all my dear,Just to get away from you 

I love u,I love u,I love u almighty,I wish ur nighty were close to me pyjamas, Don't be mistaken,now don't be mislead I mean on the clothesline and not in my bed 

come here,take off ur pants and get on top of me....enjoy me until ur totally satisfied lovingly urs TOILET!!!! 

Im bout 6inches long,Wen used im inserted in2 a warm moist hole & thrust in & out repeatedly until i leave behind a sticky white substance! WOT AM I?A toothbrush! 

It goes in dry, it comes out wet, the longer its in the stronger it gets, we can have it in bed, just you and me...its not what you think;its a cup of tea! 

Last nite i wantd u,needed u so badly dat it hurt,wantd 2 taste u,i wantd u in me so u could work ur magic on me...but i couldnt find u,u stupid.. PARACETAMOL! 

At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick,i suck & munch my liquid lunch & den i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT URS? 

Tell me.is it going in?..yeah ..is it hurting?..ooh yeah ..ouch its hurtin ..ok i wil put it in slowly ..stil hurtin..ahh yeh ..den lets try d other shoe madam 

Last nite I cudnt sleep, I wantd u warm against my skin,I wantd u on me,i wantd 2 feel u all over my body.. but I cudnt find u!Where did I put my PYJAMAS?

Last nite I lay in bed, looking at the stars, the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....and suddenly I thought...where the fuck is my roof? 

*NEWFLASH* Snow white has been chucked out of Disney Land.She was reported to have pulled up her skirt,sat on Pinocchio's face & shouted "LIE BASTARD LIE!" 

I saw sumthing in da shop window 2day.It was stunnin,sexy,cute,beautiful &adorable.I was supposed 2buy it4u, till i realised it was my own REFLECTION 

Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me-How r u? 

You’re Attractive, Gorgeous, Sexy,Intelligent, Smart,Charming, Sophisticated, Fit,Kind & Generous. In fact you’re becoming more like me everyday! 

Uve got sex appeal,uve got style,uve got intelligence,uve got class,uve got the face & uve got the body & ive got the wrong number! 

Ure so sexy,u drive me insane,i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain,ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber,oh fuck im sorry i have the wrong number

Wen i look at the sun,i c u! wen i look at the moon,i c u!wen i look at the sea u... well get the f... out my way!